Catholic Hermit Breaking Bad Bonds

Amazing, it is, that our contacts and interactions, our intake, forms our unfolding.  And for those of us who believe in His Real Presence and have our faith in His Living Word, in all dimensions and Persons of the Trinity, it is He Who unfolds our unfoldings.

Liver pain level up this morning, but this is not my identity nor my bondage even if wedded to the cross.  Rather, I consider the shift occurring.  As a consecrated Catholic hermit the shift shifts as a soul.  This is important, to shift as a soul and allow the unfoldings.

Another bit of correspondence arrived on top of the previous which spurred the posts on a hermit's correspondence.  More, they are about "marriage."  To what, to whom, to which are we wed?  And is the union freeing, or is it binding in a type of bondage--not fruitful, not progressing, not free?

Yesterday in confession I happened to mention the God-pivot.  The priest immediately was taken with the term and asked permission to use it, to borrow it.  Of course!  It is not mine to keep but was lent me, unfolded to me, by His Real Presence as an insight, an instruction to be used in unfoldings.

One aspect of God-pivoting is to utilize what occurs in our every present moments.  This morning, my most dominant temporal companion--pain--held me on the mattress seeking distraction of a positive type.  I noticed a documentary on the giftedness of a songwriter of whom I've read and listened to output of his life-time, musical unfoldings.  

The man attributes in several filmed and taped conversations, his musical genius, to God's using him as an instrument.  God unfolds the composer, the musician; and the documentary follows the shifts in progression of the musician composer's artistry.

So I begin to grasp the shift occurring in my own unfolding and the specialization as the unfolding soul of a consecrated Catholic hermit--the artistry of a hermit, freed from the bondage of traditions, perhaps, but more so from the fluctuations of temporal marriages that contain elements of control and imprisonment:  physical elements, issues, thoughts, words, actions, situations, emotions, spirit.

Each aspect can be an unhealthy, earthly marriage or can become an espousal-turned-betrothal entering into wedded union that freely shifts the soul, that shifts the unfoldings of God to a more fruitful artistic rendering to be explored, created, produced, and shared.

So it is with the more recent email of one who this consecrated Catholic hermit can read the expressions of that which binds the person.  The descriptions vary; but the bondage is there.  And also there is the great desire to be freed from the bondage of disease-ridden unions at all levels both temporal and spiritual.

The earlier email from another contained the same themes yet with different details.  These also contained the undercurrent of frustration, confusion yet submission to the weariness, of imprisonment.  

A difference between bondage and marriage resides in the soul's ability to divorce itself from that which hinders of the temporal and to progress into union with the Divine.  It is a creative process involving, requiring, the creative fusion and spark of the Creator.

Yes, the one even asked of me, how can she become a contemplative?  How can she learn contemplative prayer?

This is a pivotal question that is easily answered.  Pray and ask God to give the grace of contemplation.  And then do all one can to divorce the bad marriages that have accumulated in one's life.  This does not mean to literally divorce a human spouse in a temporal, legal action.  Rather, the divorce comes as an action within our minds, hearts, and souls.  We let go of bondage of whatever types we can realize in truth, that we have been submissive to--all that is not of Christ, the Way, the Truth, the Life.

This has started to read or sound like a lot of words.  The reality is within the words and meaning, and within my soul I am catching a glimpse of the shift God shifts within my soul.  It has to do with the artistry of a hermit, for me.  It could be a soul shift within the artistry of whatever vocation God is unfolding in any one of us.

I now understand more why the Lord has called me here to the desert as well as to the break-up necessary between my conflict with chronic, temporal pain to be wedded to something more, not of the temporal but of the spiritual, the mystical, a union with God.  

I fathom why that which is written to me of temporal marital disease or of strife with too much focus on the rules and traditions that go on in any culture once- or twice-removed from the spiritual reality--such as too much focus on traditions and politicizing or routinizing the Church--I fathom why all that begins to sicken the gut and to be a form of unhealthy bondage.

It is time to simply stop responding individually to each plaint of frustration that we individuals wed ourselves into and of which we become hapless prisoners, unable to progress out of inarticulate and inartistic forms that imprison rather than procreate and generate, evolving our minds, hearts, and spirits beyond what our dying bodies can unfold.

My answers to the questions asked, my comments as to their frustrations, are the answers and comments that I must pose and answer from my own frustrations.  I will attempt writing them here rather than wearing out with individual responses and reactions.  The themes are all the same--our unhealthy bondage in marriages of body, mind, emotion and spirit of all sorts and types.  Only the details vary.

Someone recently called and commented that her adult daughter was receiving much-needed counseling from a pastor of a small, Protestant church.  He tells the woman, reared a Catholic, that the Catholic Church is a cult.  The mother who called me was upset by this, thinking it untrue, of course. 

I responded that we Catholics do and say that which is cult-like, often enough.  If not, why would humanity from the reformation (and perhaps prior) have that notion?  It is not just the devil making it up.  We have become imprisoned by too much focus on the temporal rules and developed traditions and laws, then given them a twist to suit our wills and wants.  The result can seem cult-like, for it can become that depending upon the individual perspective.  

We can break that bond, as well, by being followers of Christ more than emphasizers and blind followers of embellished rules or by refusing to allow ourselves to spiritually progress but rather remain in some of our own unhealthy wedded state to our perceptions of laws of minds.  We can God-pivot.  We can wed ourselves to God's law, the law of love and to more carefully follow the Gospel Rule of Life.

As for my own circumstances of the various bad "marriages", including my imprisonment to the more negative recognition of temporal, chronic pain, I now turn to His Real Presence to shift my shiftings and unfold my unfoldings within my soul, in the vehicle of my eremitic vocation.  Just because the vocation has been professed and avowed for nearly 16 years does not mean that the artistry of God's creative power has been fully realized or consummated.

Yet it is another reason why I must live and think and be in the Order of the Present Moment and to specialize in His Real Presence, not be a generalist nor a disease-dancing spouse to temporal distractions of my own details or those of others.   We must think of things above, not of that which is below, no matter what is below nor of our bodies being wed to earth for now.  Our minds, hearts, and spirits can be wed to God.  Our soul shift and unfoldings will be His and belong to no other.

Catholic Hermit: Depends on Faith, not the Law

Here we have it yet again, this time from St. Paul in Romans:

"It was not through the law
that the promise was made to Abraham and his descendants
that he would inherit the world,
but through the righteousness that comes from faith.
For this reason, it depends on faith,
so that it may be a gift,
and the promise may be guaranteed to all his descendants,
not to those who only adhere to the law
but to those who follow the faith of Abraham,
who is the father of all of us, as it is written,
'I have made you father of many nations.'"

This nothing consecrated catholic hermit (all lower case today because of the utter stripping that has occurred in the past few days) remains resting, for so much emptying out has left the body, mind, heart, and soul depleted.

Now is the time to simply wait for His Real Presence to fill me and shape me in the way and form He wills.

But I found the above Word of His Living Word, to be profound especially for Catholic hermits, for once more we have it from His Real Presence, the truth.  It is not actually, not verily, through law that we are consecrated, nor through law that we are given the vocational gift as hermits, but through the righteousness of God, given us as His children, chosen for this or that path and calling in life here.

It is through faith in His choosing and calling us, that we are whatever we may be called and chosen to be.  It is through faith and not through law, that we are God's children.

God bless His Real Presence in all of us, little children.  Let us love one another; and let us love firstly, God above all things!

Lots to Consider, Hermit and Soul

Whether or not a consecrated Catholic hermit or a consecrated soul (as all souls are indeed consecrated by God if we but ask and love Him), there are always many aspects of life to consider.

For the past several days, the physical pain has been such that I have not been able to do much of anything.  I have tried to function, such as made a couple batches of Temperance Sea-salted Caramels as samples for test-marketing.  And the two batches are because I was in enough pain that I used half the amount of fresh brown sugar, by mistake, on the first batch.

I barely remember that day; pain tends to blur events and life itself other than a stand-out detail such as caramels that are too hard (but still tasty!).

In the early morning hours, whenever awakened with the pain, I read the Living Word for that day's Mass readings.  Do I remember much?  Not always and not mostly when the pain is at this level.

I try to pray for those who come to mind, and lately I've been using the laptop with me on the mattress, and I have drifted into current events. There are many people for whom to pray; and these include the very great needs of politicians and those running for office, as well as the many media pundits reporting on all aspects, particularly the more scandalous tidbits.

The current election cycle in this country--for the presidential candidates--has been unusually rife with scandalous tidbits.  And if not so scandalous, count on the pundits to make more of the talking points or twist words and platforms with misrepresentation and personal bias.

It really is not much different than how we humans respond and interact at times with one another, especially if there is some kind of envy involved, or a perception or weak point in thinking that our sense of power and prestige and position is in some manner threatened.  It is hard to fathom how everyday individuals might have such misperceptions and skewed feelings, but these are very real indeed.

The perceptions (or misperceptions) are birthed by pride; and pride fills, fleshes out, plumps people who have within them vacuous spaces, emptiness, and insecurities.  Thus, they think they need power, prestige, and position to fill in the cavities of their minds, hearts, and souls.  

It is just as well to face our emptiness and ask the Lord to fill us with whatever He wills.  Filling emptiness with pride never satisfies ourselves, others, or God. Pride can be like air-filled pockets in water pipes: When we turn on the water, expecting water flow, instead we get hiccups and belches of air-spitting bursts and unexpected water splats.  

[I use this metaphor to visualize the unattractive, unexpected spittle-blasts of what happens in water pipes when air is backed up due to the recent experience in learning how to install a water heater.  So it is for our souls when emptied of God and His Holy Will for us.  Pride takes up the space vacated.  Under the house I had turned off not only the hot water line but also the main water line and emptied the old, rusted out tank which had a hidden, slow leak. I plumbed and wired the new tank (needed help sliding the heavy, new tank down into the dug-out cellar space just as we need His help replacing pride with His powerful presence). I next turned on the hot and cold water lines to fill the tank and thought all was well.  I was not prepared for what occurred with the indoor plumbing when I later expecting water-flow from sink and water-flow into toilet!  More rather frantic phone calls to plumber mentors at Lowe's taught that when emptying a water tank, so much air is sucked from all the water pipes in a dwelling that it takes leaving faucets on for quite awhile in order for the air mixed with remnants of water to gasp and spit forth until the vacuous emptiness is filled with fresh water.  Isn't it divinely potent how the Holy Spirit powerfully flows forth all aspects in our everyday experience into teaching moments in the spiritual life of our souls?]

Just as potent for my own soul, I am learning much by observing the presidential candidate race.  I am learning from those who are running for political office as well as from those media pundits who report on the candidates and on the process.  One major aspect I am learning is the importance of developing a thick skin.  And of persevering, not swerving from the goal and tasks at hand to reach the goal.

For a consecrated Catholic hermit, that goal is, of course, to live my vows and the Gospel rule of life, in the silence of solitude, in deep prayer and praise, for souls and for the good of the Church, the Body of Christ.  And that goal, of course, is also one for many souls out there in whatever vocations, although the particular vows and rule of life and means surrounding the conditions therein, will vary.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love God above all things and one another as ourselves.

Catholic Hermit's Plan for Lent

On the eve of Ash Wednesday ("Shrove Tuesday") a spiritual friend from the past called.  The phone calls are rare here at Te Deum Hermitage, but this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit is close in touch within His Real Presence, as are the various spiritual friends dotted around this country and abroad.

The friend who happens to be wintering in warm climate mentioned finding a marvelous priest who said to write down a plan for Lent.  Write out what are to be the penances, the spiritual goals, the aspects of dying to self daily, during Lent.  She thought this would be something the hermit might do, as well.

Oh.

While an idea, yes it is, unfortunately (or fortunately) St. Hildegard of Bingen has already befriended me in a soul-filled way and is giving marvelous thoughts and ideas during Lent.  So no, I will not be writing out a plan of any sort other than, I suppose (as I mentioned to my earthly spiritual friend), mentally thinking the plan is whatever His Real Presence desires moment by moment.

So Ash Wednesday brought reflections on the Gospel reading of Mass the day before, and I wrote those reflections.  The evening brought a phone conversation with the spiritual father, so many miles away.  Did he think out or write out a plan for Lent?  

No.  But he was, in that present moment before we spoke, perusing flower bulb catalogs and making plans for what dahlias might grace the monastery gardens in a few short months. He said Lent will bring what the Lord wills, and then Easter will come, and in between now and then will be many surprises.  God provides!

I mentioned to my spiritual father that the days come and go in much silence and solitude, prayerfully and peacefully (even though I had to persevere with the cabinet conundrum), and that last week I realized I had not actually used my voice for three or four days!  And it was all right! It was even good!  He laughed and said, "Well, you're a hermit--that is why! The Lord is making you into a real and very good hermit now!"

Of course, there is more to it than that, but he made his point.  There has been growth since coming to this desert, in exile, and in hardship and strife of many types, levels, layers, and dimensions--spiritually and temporally.

Today when at Lowe's, Ruthie in the electric department shared that she'd been very ill the past week.  She suffered edema and also sleep apnea, with her oxygen level so low her physician said she had some brain damage.  She struggled with some memory, and it took us a bit of effort for each of us to figure out the bathroom lighting issues--which fixture globes were of the thin variety and which had thicker glass that will not so easily break.

She confided she nearly lost her job when she was out ill, for she had missed those days of work as well as other days, called out to do civic duty in a jury.  I reminded her to think positively, and that we would pray that there is no lasting damage to her brain.  Help is on the way with better sleep apnea equipment, thankfully.

Ruthie agreed to the positive outlook, for she said it is like the powers of darkness to try to upset her all the more and work against her when she is not feeling well.  True, and I reminded her when I gave her a big hug near the cabinet department (my next stop), that it is Lent, after all!  The Lord gave her quite an unexpected health cross to bear on Ash Wednesday.  Thanks be to God, she is back at work!

So this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit's plan for Lent is to allow His Real Presence to present His personalized plan for me in every present moment.  Rather than gloom and heavy thinking about what to do for Lent, there is an aspect of eagerness and joyful expectation as to what the Lord will unfold each day and night, hourly, by the minute--however He desires!  

First thing this morning was a call from the young woman with whom I am reading about Hildegard of Bingen's visions (and life).  She has a domestic issue that is rather immense and important in the status of her husband's work and her desire to move.  She has tried to love where they have lived for 7 years now, and it is going to take courage and resolve to ask him to sacrifice for her now, and secure a job transfer.

So we talked it through, and we are praying, and this put-off for years decision is what the Lord has brought the couple for Lent.  Time to make a decision for the wife's well-being and the children's schooling and activities.

Each moment, really--each thought, each contact when on a couple errands today--is whatever present moment Lenten lesson with which the Lord surprises me.  There are the struggles, for sure--present moment ones.  

The bathroom caulk I put in the corners of the tiled shower (silicone "gives" so better for corners than grout) is extra gummy.  One of Rusty's parting pieces of advice was to use painter tape on either side of where I am caulking to create a clean line.  But I did not heed that advice--not realizing just how gummy is bathroom caulk compared to easily wiped off trim caulk.

Tomorrow's daylight Lenten task is going to be to tediously use a razor blade to clean off the caulk residue--even from the little edges of grout lines where it oozed over.  So humbling to have not heeded what advice I was given by a man who knew from experience.

Ah, Lent.  This momentary, personalized, Lenten unfolding by His Real Presence is far better than any conceived, considered, spoken, or written plan that this hermit could have ever devised.

Cheers to Lent--suffering included!

Catholic Hermit: Pain Severe

The pain is so severe this morning that it feels difficult to breathe.  Extremely fatigued so hard to have energy to breathe beyond little and not often.  Body is burning with quite a bit of pain, and am trying to consider that it is as "taking bullets" for souls--including this hermit's own soul!

It is not easy to have such faith, to have come upon a thought, a potential reality that is of the spiritual aspect.  A part of me would say it is not so, the aspects of suffering and of souls, of being what I rather humorously term being a "soulbuster."  Yet there is not much other explanation for the situations and souls I encounter, repeatedly, with the very good souls of much largesse and depth, sprinkled into the life experience.

Regardless, this level of pain is sapping whatever energy and strength I might otherwise possess.  There are so many tasks in here that I could attempt to accomplish, but the pain is blinding and binding.  Perhaps I can try to get off the mattress and heat up yesterday's left over coffee. There is always the option to take more medication; but that, at this level of pain, will not do much to help unless taking that which is given for extreme episodes to knock the body out, essentially.

What a life to lead!  If the pain can be turned around some, with the spirit and body and mind and heart on top of the pain rather than it on top of my being, I can begin work on cutting cement board to construct the shower niche recessed box.  Yet, on days like this one, in which the pain has sapped the body of energy and the eyelids keep drooping into a kind of autonomic dozing, an escape-mode from pain, I wonder if I will ever be able to maintain the efforts here.

Yes, the entire body is in a kind of burning sensation, and beneath the burning is raw, intractable pain. The feet are so painful--perhaps best to try to stand on them and see if that helps to push some pain out?  Rather sickening, really.  This is all part of this consecrated heart and soul's existence, daily life, spiritual being, Christian essence, hermit and suffering vocation, legacy:  so very much pain in so many aspects. 

Was this how Jesus felt when on the cross?  I believe so.  He existed on this earth as long as His body was able to function.  This is so for each of us, as well.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, for God Is Love!

Catholic Hermit: Called to Be Holy

Today the universal church begins, together, proclaiming and pondering St. Paul's "Letter to the Romans."  These lines stand out, having awakened this morning remembering my mother's passing on this day 11 years ago.  I reflected upon her lovely life and her recommitment to Jesus Christ toward the end of her life after exploring a bit off the narrow path.  The Lord called her back, better then ever before!  

Last evening I watched a couple or so video clips of old "What's My Line" television programs.  I recall them from childhood and found myself laughing aloud in the hermitage--some much-needed laughter after some deep, inner questioning and praying for the Lord's guidance and will in various matters.  Yes, I saw Jesus in the laughter; I saw Him in the decorum of people, recalling the 50's and '60's before the yawing opening of our society to more an "anything goes" attitude.

It is not as if sin did not exist prior.  Of course not!  But people more attempted a refinement of loveliness and decency, at least externally.  And the external is a reflection of the internal, as the internal also illuminates through the external.

It is as if a weight has lifted from this hermit, a Catholic, a Catholic professed and avowed for this lifetime in the Consecrated Life of the Church--and more so, espoused and betrothed to Jesus Christ for now and all eternity.

The hermit's young helper's mother returned the call yesterday.

I was able to smooth things over, to apologize, to explain that when I am in Mass and in the very deep mystical state, that all is fresh, clear, raw, unfiltered truth.  In no way would I ever flee from Mass in horror if in the conscious, filtered, temporal state.  Like those before who shielded their inner problems (TV contestant Dorothy Kilgallen had a drinking and infidelity problem but masked it, as another side of her was decent, loving, warm, intelligent, and refined), I would have, during Mass if a priest or some other person did something that was distracting or off-point and off-kilter, simply ignored it and turned the thoughts to Scripture, to Jesus, until the disturbance had passed.

My spiritual father has ordered me not to return to the parish, nor to try to help or talk with the priest, nor to alert the diocese for they already know the situation and are handling it in the way that works best for them. (In God's will, He will take care of the priest and the parishioners over time, in His own way.  There is always opportunity for deeper conversions.)

And that is where this hermit's soul is, now, in the Order of the Present Moment.  I am at a point of deeper conversion.  My rule of life presents itself more than ever: to follow the Gospel Rule.  As a fellow Catholic hermit of yore discovered, the Gospel rule is the perfect rule of life for hermits and for anyone.  So within the Gospel Rule, within the Living Word of God, I am trying to live a life of love, utilizing the Nine S' to support and engage living the Gospel in the Order of the Present Moment.

Silence.  Solitude.  Slowness.  Suffering.  Selflessness.  Simplicity.  Stability.  Stillness.  Serenity.

There will be no more parishes in the foreseeable future.  I was able to explain to the helper's dear mother, that I do not desire to see through situations, through people.  Yes, if all is good, it is bliss.  If not, it is horrific hell to endure.  I have been trying very hard to do as the temporal Catholic rules and laws ask--and then a long-time friend who visited last week reminded me that for centuries, Catholics received Communion once a year....

I have been, with the help of priests and a specialist with the paranormal, trying to figure out what God wills with this rather rare mystical ecstasy at any and every Mass.  I have not so much considered that He wills me to a greater silence of solitude of being with Him.  I had ignored five visions and dreams with locutions (messages) directly advising me that I do not belong to the world of parishes anymore.  The first was within two years of becoming a Catholic!  Since it did not seem to jive with the norm, for I was not in the consecrated part of the Church as religious brothers and sisters, all along I have continued to try to go to Mass in parishes--with rather difficult outcomes.

No one is to blame other than me, I do agree!  I have been not paying attention to the signs, to the messages, to the dreams and visions.  And it was all right to do so because there is this gift called discernment that we must cooperate with fully--not lean unto our own understanding but seek the guidance of wise others and also then seek affirmation and confirmation from the Lord in His Living Word and in His guidance of our souls, in every present moment.

His ways are beyond our understanding and knowledge, for the most part.  What is asked of us it to have complete faith in Him, and to receive the peace He bequeaths.  The peace of the Holy Spirit is always a very good sign that nothing other can replicate--His abiding peace!  Abiding.

We can detect sin in ourselves and others when there is ugliness, envy, pride, vindictiveness, treachery, deception, bickering, detraction, wrong-judging.

I do not want to be in any of these categories.  That is not my nature and never has been.  This morning I feel a cleansing from my sins and a sense of light and love and being lifted out of what I had tried so hard to figure out, to go along with, to be a part of that which the Lord had me pass through, benefit, and then have my angel take me to the Stairway to Heaven.  The Mass is the Stairway, with all its beauty and wonder.  But what is in the Mass?

The Sacraments, all of them, and His Living Word are in the Mass.  The life, death, and RESURRECTION of Jesus Christ are in the Mass.  The passageway between the temporal and into the eternal mystical, union with God, are in the Mass.  And the Mass goes beyond the time and place.  In the Mass, we are sent out to take His Real Presence into life and into lives temporally and mystically, now and forever.

Although not the norm according to the temporal rules which are very good indeed but Jesus is clear that no temporal rule is necessarily eternal, there is the Gospel Rule of Life, of abiding in Him and He abiding in us, that transcends.  Many canonized hermits and saints came to this, and usually through much persecution and with negative judging by others.  Yet they persevered.

Yesterday I was thinking again about John of the Cross and Padre Pio.  They did not leave off their vocations or their temporal names in religious life, nor no longer consider themselves to be Catholic.  Rather, they more deeply understood their vocations, their roles, their Catholicism and very much so their Christianity as followers of Jesus Christ.

So it is with this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit.  Yes, I could use the name I had in religious life, even if I did not remain in that community.  I could go by Pio of the Wounded Heart.  But that is so very temporal, and as a hermit, I am not the same as John of the Cross or Padre Pio.  I am called to be hidden, and to more know the name by which I will be called in heaven, a name told me by the Lord some 19 years ago this fall during a bit of a taste of heaven in the here and now.

But even that, remains a name for heaven, not for my hermit life.  No, I am simply a consecrated Catholic hermit. That is more than enough name.  It reminds me of my vows, of my life and place in the Catholic Church, and of my vocation as an eremite.  And my given name, thought of by my late mother before I was born and gifted on the day of birth, means "gift of God."  That is beautiful!

I thank my mother many times over today, for her lovely life and her loving me and nurturing, protecting, and holding out all kinds of hope in what I might accomplish in life, to do good, to love, to thrive.  She instilled in me a love of God, of Jesus, of the Holy Spirit!  I have already this morning apologized deeply for the bungles I made and still make!  But love transcends our errors when we are sorry, and when we so want to do much good in Christ.  To be holy--that is the desire of this heart!

Through Him we have received the grace of apostleship,
to bring about the obedience of faith,
for the sake of His name, among all the Gentiles,
among whom you also, who are called to belong to Jesus Christ;
to all the beloved of God in Rome, called to be holy.
Grace to you and peace from God our Father
and the Lord Jesus Christ.
--from Romans 1

God bless His Real Presence in me, in you, in us!  Little children, let us love one another for God Is Love!  Accept, embrace, feel, reflect, and share His Love with Him and each other! 

Catholic Hermit Recovering

Such horrific experiences of clarity of the holiness of a Mass that is disrupted by unholiness or even what is not that which is in union with a priest at the portal, pointing the way from the temporal to the spiritual realm, takes a bit of recovery time.

By late yesterday when up on the roof painting siding, the inner peace returned.  Yet this morning, awoke asking the Lord if this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit has any responsibility beyond praying for the priest and for the parishioners.  Don't yet know the answer.

Could do a bit of casting of the nets to discern.  Could call a priest who is solid in his vocation and who is aware of the parish priest and his issues, and seek his counsel.  However, am not convinced ought to even do that much.  Prayer is quite powerful as is suffering.  And this hermit has suffered greatly with a growing compassion for the parish priest who is not able to fulfill totally a vocation that requires death to self and teaching and preaching and leading people through, with, and in Christ Jesus.

To have a disorder that precludes being comfortable or willing to be around people personally, is not helpful for a priestly vocation.  To have one's heart in poetry and theatre and in personal performance is not helpful.  So there are some hurdles that would need to be leapt, and it may not be in the personality or desire to do so.

This Catholic hermit very much empathizes!  It tried and tried, years ago, to please the parents as well as to try a vocation as a classroom teacher. But something deep within knew it was not its true calling.  Yet, the practical aspects for a classroom teacher are quite clear-cut, and the hermit's mother was a very successful classroom teacher, as was it's husband, years and years ago. It all made practical sense--all the reasons to be a classroom teacher, and the hermit could do all that was required.  However, if it is not one's true vocation, there is not the innate quality and success, the heart is not filled with the quench of natural contentment even if the externals are accomplished.

So the Lord plucked the hermit out of the classroom when it did not have the courage or wherewithal to do so.  And the Lord made more clear the hermit's vocation. Yes, it is to teach--but to teach men and women how to stabilize their emotions through spirituality.

And to this, the Catholic hermit must review and refine it's own part in this calling.  Writing is mostly the means of this teaching, and prayer; and the hermit must pray more about fulfilling the calling.  Distractions pull the hermit off-course.

Today's Gift of the Holy Spirit as spiritual gift for the hermit's friend, is the gift of "knowledge."  The Catechism of the Catholic Church clarifies this on knowledge:  with the gift of knowledge, we understand the meaning of God.  The gift of knowledge is more than an accumulation of facts; it also helps us to choose the right path through life.

Somehow, with the horror of what occurred in the bastardization of a Mass, the hermit lost over a day of its life and got confused on what chapters to read with what intentions in the spiritual gift.  So today the hermit is reading/praying Chapters 9 and 10 in The Letter to the Hebrews.  Chapter 10 is particularly rich, deep, and moves the soul.  It relates meaningfully with the gift of knowledge.

The Catholic hermit needs to rise from the mattress. The pain level is quite high this morning, but it will rise, dress, and continue caulking the trim on the porch area as well as re-do the window trim and flashing, as the hermit got the flashing in the wrong place.  All must be done omnia pro Deo: all for God!  To do something wrong and to leave it not right, is not the best one can do for God...or anyone.  But doing our best and giving our all for God is our primary duty and ought to be our main desire, as well.

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit: Evolving Vocation

What evolves in this consecrated Catholic hermit's vocation is that the hermit thinks less and less about vocation and more and more about being a child of His Real Presence.  

There actually are few externals to monitor; God handles all that, naturally.  The hermit notices, realizes, and cooperates for there are no options, thankfully.  He chooses the pain sieges' timing and duration.  He chooses the rare visitor and the rare outing for provisions.  He curtails availability of external distractions. He keeps the finances constrained and the life style extremely simple.

What the hermit can choose and can monitor, are the interior aspects--and these are the aspects that any Christian would and could choose and monitor.  It is all a matter of degrees in the interior, spiritual life-climb.  And the ascent is not consistent for who is perfect who we know, mortal, on this earth?  The soul ascends through choices; yet even the semblance of choosing is by and in God's will and allowing.  The Holy Spirit teaches and gifts with graces to think, choose, feel, do, and be.

We may pray to always be becoming.  To be ascending spiritually, or to be going deeper spiritually, or both in the same motion.  All that is for God to figure and ordain; we pray and use our intellects and wills freely given us, and the ascent is paced accordingly to these and some other factors.  Too much thought on it, slows the process.  Some human choices bring the soul to lesser degrees. Who can be at the pinnacle of spiritual perfection--a glimpse, a foothold, a breath?  Then we recede, we drop back some.  The view, the footing, the air is too profound for mortals to sustain.  It is all to be expected and all right.

Physical pain seems to be this hermit's major hindrance, underlying activity, thoughts, feelings and even impinges upon the will, in the earthly sense.  The effect to compare is that of existing in water for lengthier periods of time, holding the breath for longer and longer.  Yet we will never become an embryo again in our mothers' wombs, existing without need of earthly air, food, water.

We now have earthly considerations and responsibilities.  The most, recently, this hermit has pondered of the hermit vocation is to be in awe of the early eremites--the early desert mothers and fathers and the extreme degrees of solitude and silence in which some of them lived.  Some did not see other humans for weeks and months and even years (in a few cases--but so many were not known at all, so how do we know?).  

For this hermit, the pain, health, and finances increasingly determine the silence and solitude and slowness.  God's Hand is on this life, this existence--once we let go and stop shoving our goals into His Face.  We think we do not do this--how rude!  But yes, we do it over and over in our lives.  We have our ideas and make our plans, praying for guidance from Him but often not waiting for answers.  Or, it seems He lets us try out many of our plans and goals in His largesse of kindness.  He knows this is partly how we learn, and learn well.

We learn to let go of our plans and goals, sooner or later, and begin to grasp that He all along has been setting out the Plan and the Goal.  His Plan and Goal is spiritual growth and union with Him, to remain in His Love, to be a branch on His Vine, to be gift to Jesus and to be gifted of graces by His Real Presence.

It is harrowing (this hermit finds) to be in the more severe pruning phases.  It is harrowing to not know from one day to the next, nor to have control over the bodily strength and pain and efforts.  The hermit knows not if it can keep on here, if anyone is going to help with the tasks that require another's much stronger hands and back.  All this is training grounds for the soul in enduring with increasing, if not total, faith.  

Total faith is necessary at some point in our lives, even if that point is in our dying moments.

And while on earth, we are prisoners of our bodily frames, to pain, and to temporal duties and laws. Yet even in prison, God has His Plan and His Goal for each of us, and He monitors and controls the externals when we recognize where we are, and allow some relief in not having to be the driver but rather the passenger.  We can relax, look out the window (if our cell has one and if not, and better, look out the window of our soul).  

We can sing love and praise songs--even beseeching songs--in our minds and hearts.  We can pray silently and praise God, no matter what.  We can love His Real Presence and love others.  These are within our means, grasp, doing, and being. 

A friend from where the hermit used to live is visiting her adult son and family. The friend and son are coming today to the hermitage to help the hermit in whatever physical ways the hermit would appreciate.  It is an unexpected gift yet why should it be?  The hermit had asked the Lord at some point a week ago to please send some human help!

However, the hermit felt a bit guilty regarding the Lord sending this friend who has come from afar to spend a week with the son and his family.  Still, the friend insists, and wants to visit the hermit and help for a few hours.  The efforts will be gentle and simple, not a push nor rush.  The love and the conversation of three Christians together and the two's generous gift of time, effort, cost, and presence to make the added trip to this place of exile, is glorious, truly.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Let us love one another as He loves us!  Remain in His Love! How hard is that?  An irony, for remaining in His love from our human thought and willful control is not easy because enduring in total faith is an evolving, self-emptying process.  

So we see, dear readers, that when we enter the interior landscape of the soul and the soul's love of and seeking His Real Presence and His Love, regardless our various, holy, temporal vocations-- spiritually God-consecrated that they all are--the Plan and the Goal belong to His Real Presence.  His pathways lead each soul toward the common pinnacle:  loving union in Him.

Hermit Vocation Emphasis, Perspective

Do hermits have emphasis on their eremitic "vocation" at the forefront of their daily lives?  In other words, do they identify consciously with the temporal trappings of what is or is not a "hermit"?

This nothing Catholic hermit wonders.  Probably not in the majority of consecrated religious eremitics out there, and definitely not in this hermit.  The posts that it dislikes the most, in writing, actually, are those dealing with hermit-this and hermit-that--wrangling and hair-splitting over temporal rules, status, titles, designations.

Yearly in this nothing's life, there is the renewal of the consecration as a religious eremitic, a Catholic one, at that. Some posts of the distant past explain all that, even give the vows this hermit made, and the setting.  And, there has been discussion of the more temporal aspects of hermit life, in the blog writing.

But the predominate desire of emphasis and perspective of this hermit--this soul--is what would be of any aspirant to union with His Real Presence.  We love and seek God; we strive in whatever ways and hope in all ways, to climb the stairway to heaven, to come to any closer grasp of spiritual perfection and union with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

The conscious awareness of hermit is more like an undercurrent, or the overcast of the sky.  It is there, but it is not the emphasis in temporal details of hermit this or that.  In fact, being a hermit rarely comes to conscious mind in this nothing Catholic hermit.

What comes to mind is the rule of life, which for this nothing is the Gospel Rule, with the Nine S' as platform and outflow of the Gospels. as applied to daily and nightly existence. Action, thought, words, being: Life in Christ.  

[Nine S': silence, solitude, slowness, suffering, selflessness, simplicity, stillness, stability, serenity.]

This soul's temporal and spiritual days and nights are filled with the trials, obstacles, joys, and  lessons--the interactions, loves, virtues, vices--that are part of the human condition. Hopefully increasingly numbers of souls actively engage with religious desire and spiritual aspiration of the sublime goal:  Love of God and love of others.  

This starkly simple goal has oodles of threads woven into the making, however.  And it is spinning and weaving those threads, working on the fabric of our existence with His Real Presence, God-Is-Love, as focus, which fills the present moments that unfold in making up a lifetime of being, no matter how short or long that earthly lifetime may be.

Only God is forever; and aspiring souls recognize that this temporal lifetime is our soul school, with extended coursework available in what may be termed "purgatory." Our goal, our emphasis, our perspective as souls (more than vocation designation) for those of us desiring God is not best served by much attachment to the title of a vocation.  Nor do numerous, conscious considerations that can distract or lead into vices such as pride, envy, or even gluttony help us in the temporal-spiritual ascent (eg. glut on legalisms and tedium of details not necessary for the freedom of soul to ascend the spiritual).

Whatever, but this soul here, this nothing-I-and-He-Is-All, does not much consciously dwell on being a "hermit."  It just lives as any soul would live out his or her existence in Christ, knowing the emphasis and perspective is that of being a soul in love with His Real Presence--breathing, functioning, and aspiring along with all the souls in the Body of Christ.  We are embraced by and abide in His Love.  Remain in My Love, Jesus tells us.

True, there is a certain ennui and yet conflict, having a blog titled A Catholic Hermit, and of being nothing and yet titling the writing effort with the clarifiers Catholic and Hermit.   Seems like this is about the only time this nothing sees the labels.  Hopefully not often does it dip back into the conscious and temporal debate of what makes a valid or invalid hermit in the eyes of society or the Church.  May the writing be Christ and our souls' spiritual work and progression lived out in this beautiful life and world we are given to learn to love God and others.  And may the writing include thoughts of other souls who happened to live and share in writing or otherwise, who happened to also be consecrated eremitics, Catholic or Orthodox or whatever branch of His Real Presence as Head of the Body, the Church.  
Yes, it is all right to have interest in and learn from souls who shared and share a calling, a path.  Writing about the earthly titles, designations, status of hermit in the eyes of man does not need on-going explanation or debate.  For the temporal is always passing away, and there are as many types of hermits as hermits themselves.  We cannot lasso or type-cast, and that is why the Church's designation of such as the eremitic vocation is clearly simple and vast, both.  Beyond temporal, it is spiritual--even mystical--in the vastness.  

It is of souls in bodies, growing into and through the spiritual vastness by ascending the temporal to the divine, that is of interest to this hermit, a catholic hermit, a consecrated religious, a soul, a nothing-in-God-Is-All.

This nothing's heart sings when the thoughts, readings, writings, and living go above and beyond the debate over what well-intentioned and even Godly people have decided over the years as to rules and protocols of a vocational designation.  

The fundamentals are in the Catechism; the Canon Laws contain additional words which may be revised in later years by those who determine such matters desire and decide.  None of that will determine if a soul will have union with God, however, or will ensure the hermit soul or whoever will attain to purity of love of God and love others.  (Marriage vows are straightforward even if people now distort the natural purpose and order.)  

Stripped before God or man, we are all "just" souls. Now, marvel on that, for instance!  Souls~! Souls created by our Heavenly Father who loves us beyond our comprehension, who forgives us and has mercy without measure!

Have mercy on us all.  God bless His Real Presence in us, dear children, and let us love God and love one another.

Rule of Thumb for Going Into the Desert

There is a main point to be impressed, a kind of "rule of thumb," for those who head out into the spiritual desert, also as a lived experience.  Examples and thoughts gleaned from lived experience and much reading the lives of historical and holy hermits, saints, and mystics, plus the Biblical prophets, apostles, and life of Jesus--come to a basic consideration.

A person casts out into the deep, sets off for the "desert", does so because His Real Presence has placed a desire within the soul, or has called the person through discerned circumstances and/or through inner voice or nudge.

The rule of thumb as far as how or when--radical or extreme conversion or turning away from what was of one's life to whatever God asks of the body, mind, heart and soul--all depends upon His Real Presence.

Yes, the point to be impressed is that God must be the one who beckons.  God must be the one who leads.  God must be the one who determines how much to detach, when, and to what degree.  And God does this through preparing the soul to be able to do His will in this regard of leaving all at once or in degrees, and to what extent with what purpose.  He knows each soul and what each soul can reasonably offer of itself, depending upon its growth in virtues and depth of love of His Real Presence.

All we have to do is be willing.  Make the initial offer and repeat that offer if we do not discover the answers right away.  The answers will come, and we will find ourselves being extricated all at once or little by little (and usually the latter, it seems), and going out farther into the desert, detaching from the hindering effects of the temporal world, by and by, yet always and only by God's allowing and guiding and providing.

The pathway to union with God always traverses a desert of one sort or another, or many deserts with rest stops along the way.  Sometimes God asks of the soul to travel without much stopping, and to detach from hindrances in a full swoop of the axe.  Such was the call for Antony of the Desert, for Mary of Egypt and Pelagia, and many others.  Most go through a less severe pruning and are pruned of hindrances (possessions of temporal and spiritual passions) much like one would a Japanese Maple, in tiny bits to shape its form over time.

The main point, the rule of thumb, though, simply put:  God inspires, speaks, calls, leads and determines the details...every step of the way.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another in our lives and love of God!

A Little Chat with Spiritual Father

Last night had a lovely phone conversation with the spiritual Father.  He continues to pray that this hermit will eventually have the energy, strength and necessary courage to drive the distance for Mass.  So does this hermit pray thus!  

The spiritual Father, now far away but accessible by phone, knows the past trials, sufferings, and persecutions, and also knows the reality of historical hermits, of which those not in religious orders of hermits (and some who were!), lived distances out and in solitude.  The women did not have Mass; the men who were not priests did not have Mass. 

He agrees to appreciate the hermit monks up the road, but given their different religious background and the polemics involved, best to hold as loving inspirations for what one can learn but to keep this hermit's life less complicated: simplicity.  

Yes, it is time for this hermit to listen and follow the Voice that speaks deep within, clearly in bell-tone, and not just sense these matters for others.  Several times, this hermit has ignored signals for itself, only to realize later His Real Presence very much meant the advice, warning, or statement.

Am yet in civilization, helping out in a quiet place but with two others.  One of the others goes to work, requiring this hermit's care for the one remaining here.  Am not used to speaking or the small bit of activity, calm and restful as it is.  The other day reflected that in the Te Deum hermitage, some several days can pass, and the hermit's voice has not made utterance unless a rare phone call--and they are rare.

Last evening in phone conversation, the spiritual Father commented that this, here, is a true hermit's life--what has evolved in the past 18 months or so.  Yes, it is, and the adaptation and greater faith required has been a challenge off-and-on.  Mentioned to him that of ten days ago, going to confession when in civilization (and also gathering some provisions).  Shared that the recently ordained parish priest made an assumption in the confessional:  "I bet you thought your hermit life was going to be really easy at first, and now you are surprised it is difficult."

This hermit did not respond to that assumption, as it was totally false.  Did not want to bother with a defense or explanation; just not worth the verbal effort, and it really did not matter if the young priest knew or not how it was for the hermit, years past.  Was not going to affect his well-needed time and efforts with active parishioners, and might not help him realize that making assumptions can be tricky.  He meant well or else simply assumed from not knowing how it is for some hermits (or maybe all if incisively honest).

But, no, this hermit never ever thought at any time that it would be easy--not from the first of God's revealing the hermit vocation over fourteen years ago to even today.  In fact, the sensation within this hermit was that of dread...and yet of a certainty to step forth into the desert!  Somehow, the reality of needing to die to so much of one's accumulation of outer and inner distractions has always been a reality, and a harsh one depending upon depth of self-disclosure, clarity of the reflective mirror.

Distractions of the temporal accumulations--but more, the distractions of the inner accumulations, the spiritual vices, the temptations to resist, for whatever the reasons, that which is challenging on the path of spiritual perfection--these require profound and repetitive dying.  

But granted, with each level of dying comes a rising, and it is key to note that there are levels, phases--a spiraling of the double-helix of the temporal and spiritual sloughing of accumulated distractions.  These deaths free the soul in mostly indiscernible increments to love progressively, and more perfectly, God in Himself, and in Himself to love all souls alive on earth and those souls alive but not physically tangible.

This hermit mentioned that this phase of its life is filled with more hardships than ever dreamed and ever lived--and after being given what could have, seemingly should have, been a secure and comfortable existence for the rest of earthly life.  The spiritual Father exclaimed, "But you are in the desert now!  In a very real desert!  You are a true hermit!"

And, to another eremitic effort, the spiritual Father mentioned on the phone last night, that breaking seven times from the physical and mental distractions of each day and night to pray the Divine Office, is difficult.  He repeated, "This is not easy!"  Truly, while it should not be so difficult in the mere thinking about what seems a small effort, times seven, any efforts against accumulated distractions are challenging.  

It is a truth, at least to this hermit, that no matter how cleverly or contentedly one may think one is in some spiritual discipline or gift of grace, there is never sole or soul assurance that one has "arrived".  For one has not arrived, not yet.  We will know more of arrival when after worldly and other-worldly purgation and progressions, we enter Heaven.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, as He loves us!  Remain in His Love!

The Proof of the Pudding

Yesterday, made a call to the counter top people.  Had noticed after the very good installers left, that they had forgotten to shim the sink so that it would perfectly meet the counter top.  Three times had been told that they would do this:  once from the man at the company a few weeks ago, once from the template man, and once from the installers themselves, on site.

Each time this nothing Catholic hermit was willing and ready and able to simply put in the little shims that would make the back sides of the sink quite level so that there would not be any gaps.  Each time, was told no, that the installers needed to do that so that they could adjust when they placed the heavy counter on top of cabinets and sink.

But, somehow they forgot or decided it was good enough.  Thus, the counter tops meet exactly, are flush with, the sink to the front sides, but to the back there is a gap which they filled with silicone caulk.  In speaking with the company, they were not wanting to return to make it better or best.  They did ask for photos, so sent those via internet.   The response was that it was acceptable as is, and not to be concerned:  water will drain from the sink.

Within, though, there was quite a bit of remorse, given all the work done on this project and trying to do all for God, and to do it well and correctly.  A level has been as an additional appendage in the past weeks while working on cabinets.  And, what stung the most was the reality that this hermit was right here, and bringing up the subject, and pointing out the sink not exactly level, and was assured that they wanted it that way so they could better make the final adjustments.

Took the photos to Don at Lowe's.  He has always been honest and also is somewhat of a like-minded person regarding having things done correctly and to the detail.  He said it was within the range of very acceptable.  When this hermit brought up the question of perhaps stressing out over something that should not be, he said he thought so.  Again, he commented that the gap was very minor and would not affect anything other, even though he agreed it could have been absolutely perfect.  Just was not to be.  The opportunity was missed.

Now, why? This question was posed to His Real Presence, for by then was accepting and even chuckling over how the weariness from the day before and all the work efforts, had resulted in increased physical pain.  This pain never helps the mind to keep all in perspective.  Yet, it did seem kind of strange that out of three times of being told not to shim the sink, that they would do it, it did not happen.  So easily could it have been shimmed, and the costly efforts of cabinets and counter tops (of which remain six more years in payments) would have resulted in near perfection if not perfectly level.

The answer came soon, from His Real Presence.

Consider the soul.  Consider this hermit's soul.  Consider this Catholic hermit's soul. Consider this nothing Catholic hermit's soul.  It could be perfected if just a bit more attention, a bit more shimming, a bit more leveling, a bit more detail, a bit more time, a bit more communication, a bit more effort in just doing what would help it be perfected.

That is the message of the sink and counter top imperfection--barely noticeable if at all to anyone else, but known to this hermit.  And this is the soul, and deep within, this hermit notices the imperfections and knows the simple remedies of acts of the will that no others may ever know or see, but His Real Presence does.

The proof of the pudding of any consecrated religious hermit (or perhaps any soul desiring God), is not what others are doing or think ought to be done, or what ought to be this or that in a hermit rule of life or hermit vocation.  The proof of the pudding is not in what a parish priest or a monastery monk or abbot think or how they live their lives, or what is their spiritual progress or status, nor in what they think is the hermit vocation.  The proof of the pudding is not in what other hermits consider to be valid or legal or credible or  proper according to recent developments such as Canons adopted in 1983 or in past developments evolved over centuries and centuries, or in different rites of the Church, or of the East or the West.

The proof of the pudding in a soul is if that soul buckles down and tends to the inner details, and communicates with His Real Presence in what must be done and how it is to be lived, and in what ways to grow and to learn and to love.  No one else can do this for the soul, nor can the soul look to others as supporters or as naysayers.  No one other than the soul can know if that soul is doing all that it can of its God-given will, to seek and love His Real Presence and to have an abode welcoming and open and ready for His Real Presence to fully reside therein.

The effort of the soul must come from the soul, from the soul's will--a will that His Real Presence offers freely to all souls, and offers yet more graces when a soul is seriously desirous of His Real Presence beyond all else in life and is willing to do all possible (which is actually quite a lot due to His Real Presence's presence!).

The proof of the pudding will come some day, perhaps before the soul's body passes from earthly existence into the eternal of heaven.  Maybe the soul and His Real Presence only will know the proof, will see the proof.  Or, perhaps others will be shown while yet on earth or after.   The point is, others cannot determine the proof of the pudding of any soul, nor can they judge that soul in process, nor can they do for the soul what the soul must do for itself, even if in other ways than what other souls are doing what their wills are doing within their own souls.

This nothing Catholic hermit, this soul, is buckling down.  Am done with the politics of the temporal and the confusions of others and others' ways of interpreting the temporal or the spiritual.  The politics and confusions only create more politics and a politics of confusion, at that.  Gone is any expectation that a priest or monk or lay person or other consecrated religious hermit can do what really is simply up to the soul itself to seek, listen, and then do based upon sound wisdom and guidance from the writings of the souls and the spiritual assistance allowed to cross the veil, that His Real Presence provides and blesses upon each soul who asks for the help.

This soul has asked and receives.  But this soul's God-given will is going to have to do the work, make the effort, and seek His Real Presence with a desire for spiritual perfection and not expect others to make the adjustments or to level the path for it.  His Real Presence then can perfect such souls when and how He wills.  But the soul must desire and love and make the effort, buckle down.

This is so, in the simple added example of one who needs to lose weight.  It is known what foods to eat or not eat, what exercise to include.  One can go to a dietician who might say, or have other ideas; but the person in point knows what to do, and no other can actually do it for one or in one's place.  The proof of the pudding is in the pounds lost and remaining off the body.  It is the same for souls needing His Real Presence, desiring as He desires of us, to have union with and in us, and us with and in Him.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another for God Is Love!

Manual Labor, Prayer, Progress

Today two very nice young men arrived at the Te Deum Hermitage.  They came to install the counter tops after nearly a year of having ordered them and appliances.  Who would have thought it would take 11 months to finally have one small room gutted, plumbed, wired, floored, insulated, drywalled, ceiling in, and cabinets set, plus sink and appliances in place to come to the counter top installation?

The rest of the hermitage is in shambles, yet, but a conversation with the dear and prudent financial advisor this morning resulted in renewed verve (and nerve!) to keep at this process.  He asked if it was moving now to the other side of dilapidated, and yes, there is progress, and the worst is over.  However, the finances are running dry quickly, and that can be stressful particularly when eight days were spent in bed with a sick headache, not knowing if an aneurism, tumor, or the back pain out of control.  It usually is the latter, and again, although the worst headache thus far and relentless, the nothing Catholic hermit finally had relief yesterday and is "back in the saddle."

The two young men worked all day.  They did have to add some shims, but they said the cabinet install job was definitely above average.  How positively positive!  For a son-in-law, a daughter, and an old hermit with bad back, shoulder, wrist and neck--all novices at cabinet installation--the above average rank seemed a grace from heaven.  Well, surely it is!  Praise God!

Now there are six more years of payments for it.  And, yet to do:  Get shims under the fridge, set the pantry cabinet for the fourth time, plumb the faucet and dishwasher, paint the ceiling, nail in kick plates, nail a finished cabinet piece on the back of a cabinet that is showing, cut and nail in crown molding at ceiling, install knobs and pulls.  That is plenty.

The work goes slowly as rest breaks are necessary, but with praying while working, the soul is really never at rest in a certain sense.  However, prayer is at another level, total rest.  Praying while working takes the soul out of the actual labor and into the Sacred Heart.  One goes deep within to where His Real Presence has made His abode:  Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

So when out mowing (going to get a rare rain after much drought, or so forecast), when Luis shouted behind without seeing him, this hermit jumped and brought the mower to a halt.  It was a blessing to be startled like that, for the soul had been deep in prayer for a friend in another part of the country and for her adult sons and their families.  The young men had concluded the counter top install and were ready to depart.

Back to mowing, and the prayers shifted to Fr. V. who had emailed from Nigeria last evening.  He commented on this hermit's having shared with him finding a Nigerian confessor at the parish, but that the young priest recently ordained, was not equipped to handle this vocation or aspects relating to it that interfaced the confession content.  Fr. V. did suggest Mass and confession but once a month and only if this body was able to make the long drive to the Catholic parish.  He also asked for prayers for his family, specifically, for the divine protection.  But we shall see what is his response with the news of the little monastery nearby.

There is great concern here for Fr. V's well-being, his family, and the young men in his religious community's seminary.  They have several thousand who apply each year and can only take a couple hundred.  (What a shift from the seminary numbers in this country, be it diocesan or religious order seminaries.)  The concern is the Ebola virus that is plaguing the West African countries.  The return to mowing the rest of the grounds here, turned to prayer to Our Lady of Good Remedy whose feast day is shared with Bl. Dositheus the Elder, hermit of the Kiev caves (Oct. 8).  May the Divine Protection blanket all of Fr. V's family, his seminary and fellow priests, and all of the people in Africa and around this earth, who are at risk of any number of illnesses but especially this deadly virus!

The hermit priest yesterday reminded this hermit of how he prays the Jesus Prayer while working.  They are of an Eastern Church so lean heavily to the writings of St. John Chrysostom.  Their chapel was filled with beautiful icons.  As he and the other priest and monk at the monastery do their tasks, they pray:  Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

While this hermit prays spontaneously and goes deep within the soul to the inner abode of His Real Presence, today there was an inclusion of the thought of penthos, of contrition, and the Jesus prayer.  At a hermitage two hermitages ago, and the one where this nothing Catholic hermit resided when first making profession and vows as a Catholic hermit, the Jesus Prayer was scripted on the wall above the stairway, to be read each time one descended from upstairs to down, to begin anew.

Manual labor, prayer, and progress each provide, and in sum total, a glorious effect on the soul.  If done with humility and also a good attitude, the soul hums along with the efforts.  Today this hermit declared that mowing is now the most favorite of the manual labor.  Admittedly, it had been putting off mowing for a long time and dreaded mowing most of all tasks, until the attitude needed to rise as prayer to His Real Presence, and most certainly, with expressions of affection and praise along with the penthos and petitions.

Penthos:  to weep, mourn, have contrition for ones sins; and in New Testament usage, to grieve and mourn ones past mistakes but with determination to make changes and improve.