Catholic Hermit: Thoughts on Daily Life of a Hermit

Another inquiry comes regarding the daily life of a hermit.

This consecrated Catholic hermit--a nothing in God's All--has recently thought what a lousy hermit it is, indeed.  Rarely do this, but noticed a couple of hermits out there, in cyberspace.  One a man and perhaps another a man or maybe a female hermit, consecrated in the life of the Church as eremites.

They each wrote of their daily lives, of their schedules, their horarium.  They listed the times they prayed, and one wrote that he prays "3.5 hours a day"--or was it 4.5 hours?  (Do not recall exactly, but the particular of the .5 stuck in the thoughts.) The other mentioned getting up at night at a certain time to do a prayer vigil.  The length of time was not given.

So this hermit began thinking about the brief time period, over 14 years ago, in which it had a daily schedule worked out in hours.  This hermit has attempted mores structure off and on since then, but mostly off.  Especially since landing in exile in this hermitage called Te Deum, an hourly schedule has not ever come up as even a remote practicality.  The hermit has not ever, that it can recall, figured out or remembered how many hours a day it prays.

All it does know, with certainty, that it is not enough praying and could never be enough. For the praying can be of one sort or the other, or of many sorts.  And the sort of praying has evolved over the years.  Yes, at first this hermit wanted to do all "by the book"--until it found all the books about hermit life and by hermits, and of their lives, and that in the schedules of orders that house some religious also consecrated as eremites, all vary even if they have some commonalities, in generalized ways of going about what one might term "the daily life of a Catholic hermit."

Here at Te Deum Hermitage (even the name is only used now and then in this blog, and it is used with some humor because this is more a stable like the one Anne Catherine Emmerich grew up in and not much of a house, at least not finished off), there really is no room for an hourly schedule or horarium.  No room in this inn for that.  As for praying, who knows if the hermit is really praying or is praying with effectiveness or in any way approaching what God might consider good or excellent communication with Him.

There is no way to figure out the minutes or hours, even if the praying is good praying, even if it is not good praying, or praying at all by whatever standards or tests as to what is prayer and what is not.

The days and nights in this hermit's daily and nightly life, are always tumbling out or flowing out, depending upon the circumstances of what is happening in each moment.  And there is no way to tell what is going to flow or tumble, or what will be the circumstances.

Point in fact, consider last Friday when around 2 or 3 in the afternoon, the hermit was lost in thought. (Is that prayer as the hermit loves God and thus are all thoughts conversations with Him, lost in Him in thought?)  It was also busy digging and finding stones too large to be useful to the soil and very useful for some unfolding project with stones, even if to mark the ends of rows dug and soil crumbled and seeds planted.  

Then it was weeding or some such effort, not sure what, and evidently mostly using the right arm, as it turns, out but was not conscious of that when lost in whatever is this interior hum of soundless, wordless and mostly imageless communication while working.  Then it was digging and also scooping soil around and making mounded walls around wells around small fruit shrubs, so that water will better hold and water the roots in the heat and dry.

At some point in that time frame of that afternoon, for example, pain overwhelmed the hermit.  It was as if the hermit was so lost to the temporal effects and the bodily signals, that it was stricken suddenly and had to make it into Te Deum, and get on the mattress on the floor.  That was that.  

And then the severe suffering took over and who knows what conversations with God, although there were many, probably, yet not so conscious nor timed.  And there was distraction needed for the mind in order to manage the severe pain, and the body had to breathe barely as to breathe normally was too exquisitely painful. So thus was one day in the daily life of a consecrated Catholic hermit.

The hermit ate when it was able to walk and get to the refrigerator--ate an apple or some cheese; ate some other stuff--healthy, simple, all.  Can't recall. Was the hermit thankful to God for the food?  Surely so!  Were their conscious prayers, verbal prayers?  Don't know.  Probably, or some kind of communicated gratitude within, for the hermit is silent verbally, other than a rare phone call.  And the hermit drives rarely--has been how long?  Ten or more days, is it, that Precious Blood (pick up truck) has been parked in back?

Night vigils. Well, can't really dignify them with such a title that others participate in, rising and dressing and walking to a chapel, or kneeling and making sure they pray an hour or two hours, with a clock or watch to make sure the offering being fulfilled.  It is a marvelous and admirable practice: night vigils. 

Just this morning in reading a homily of Pseudo-Macarius, he mentioned kneeling in prayer.  Does this hermit kneel in prayer?  No.  It is usually on its back with knees lifted by a pillow, or on its left side as it can no longer recline on right side due to two shoulder surgeries.  Physically, it could kneel, although not here as the floors are rough and unfinished, and kneeling puts added strain on the bad back after nearly 31 years since the life-altering injury. 

But this hermit does wake up in the night.  It wakes at whatever time God decides.  No bells, no alarm clock.  Never the same time; but it is always awakened by bodily pain.  Thus, Jesus on the Cross is waking the hermit, or also St. Michael, giving it a poke with its fiery spear; and it prays and praises God, but for how long--who knows?  

Usually then the hermit clicks on the laptop in the dark here by the mattress, and sees the time (mostly to note when medication is taken so as to not take more than allotted in a certain time frame for later when daylight).  It then reads the daily Mass Scriptures, and this can be anytime from 1 a.m. to 5:30 a.m., as the pain alarum pings the hermit hard enough to awaken at any and various times.  Nothing is ever struck by a clock here.

The hermit for awhile was praying the Divine Office--all the hours--but then sickness came of such a severe type this past winter, and then after that workers came and the hermit was needed to work with them.  And then the daily Mass Scriptures and reading some spiritual homilies as well as some works of another 5th century holy person, provided added Scriptures to read and ponder, as well as clear insights.  

(It is amazing how clear the insights came to those in the early centuries, when life could be simpler and not the technological distractions we have, nor the responsibilities of daily life in this century.  For example, consider the time it took the hermit to sort and organize and figure out bills and receipts and tax forms--in a dwelling that has no organized order?  The early hermits did not have these and other cultural and secular responsibilities, or when they did, they were easy enough to avoid or handle in a single action like Jesus saying to render the two coins unto Caesar...and all that is God's to God.)

Yesterday, this hermit is not sure what all it prayed or in what format other than it seems it is always now a very subtle, interior communicating.  There have been no set verbal prayers for a long time, that it can remember--probably not since it was praying the Divine Office for awhile, seven times a day--and that never at specific times.

It cannot!  This hermit cannot do or be certain things at certain times, or even consecutively, daily.  Each day is as it is and unfolds, in His Real Presence in whatever present moments, and with whatever He determines (as the hermit is learning, painfully so, over and over).  And that includes days in which the hermit has little rebellions and the mind is too tired to read some spiritual book or "think" much at all, or the body is not well enough to do manual labor and have its love of God and communication lifted into His Real Presence as if on the wings of a dove.

Then, when the hermit is too pained or weary to do or be what probably most would think a hermit ought to be in order to be a respectable, impressive, or holy hermit--this hermit has been known lately to watch some Youtube video of a some talented person and listen to music, or even watch a lulling British mystery, enjoying the gorgeous, green countrysides and dozing a bit to the soft and lilting British accents--and very much appreciating that justice is always meted out in the end. The wrongs are righted.  Judgment Day comes to all humanity.

So lately, especially after noticing how this hermit's good intentions of and initial or on-going attempts at more righteous and holy daily schedules always tend to disintegrate by some present moment reaching-in to change it, or that the interior touch of God and intimacy with Him extends on and on beyond time frames if there were any--it just seems all right, somehow, to trust that His Real Presence is carrying the hermit through the days and the nights.

This is the daily life of one consecrated Catholic hermit, anyway, for now.  And now, this hermit will stop what has been several hours of pondering Scriptures and writing about the insights in some correspondence, and has simmered some beets and eaten them with gratitude, and has rested a long time.  Time to head outside and try to stretch the body and do a few tasks without straining the already strained Rhomboid muscles.   And keep on with what has become mostly always very interior and deep communication, often with thought flashes and sometimes without thought at all--or most of the thought nothing one could pin down in words.

So all in all, considering what this hermit shares of its daily life, no wonder this hermit has thought since comparing itself with what seem very good and holy hermits, it is not really a good hermit nor a responsible hermit, nor one to emulate, for sure.  Other than if there is any aspect that seems all right, such as the praying and loving and going with God's flow.  (Honestly, none of us humans get the upper hand for long in going with our own flow, do we?)

Pray always, and seek and love God always, and be always available to His Real Presence and whatever He wills.  That is about how it sums up here.  Even the gently lowing tones of some distraction of scenery and people communicating their lives as fictional characters, is prayer, for the hermit's mind, heart, and soul are often not too much conscious of much else than of its Desired His Real Presence. It has all become very simple, and it can be up to others to judge, if they want, if this is what they deem a hermit's daily life ought to be or not.

Somehow it all seems very good, and sweet, and intimate with His Real Presence.  Although that could be some kind of deception, couldn't it?  Pseudo-Dionysius defines evil as simply the absence or lacking of some degree of good.  Surely in a hermit's daily life, there is always room for more and more good.  But this hermit has found that scheduling it does not necessarily assure it and usually not, for the present moments belong to His Real Presence, and we just never know that much in advance if at all, to what good we may be called in the present moments of our daily lives--hermits or not.


[Later, been out scattering slug killer and still very, very tired and sluggish with pain.  But was thinking how wonderful the freedom to just be--to be in the present moment even when it comes to sharing the variations in the daily life.  Watching news clips became distracting and unnecessary for a quick glance of headlines gives calamities enough, if the reminders are helpful.  But how odd that this hermit has viewed British mysteries after years of no interest in such, no fiction reading--yes, years and years, prior to being a hermit by a decade.  But some how, recently, when the pain is too intense, that genre and visual and bit of accent, is helpful with pain management, as is the music.  Odd, perhaps.  Not at all what this hermit would think a good way for a hermit to pass God's gift of time...other than have figured some of it is the justice in the end, the righting of wrongs, as well as the fictional aspect of distraction more distant than the actual "world" of tragedies and calamities and politics, for those often enough do not end in an hour nor ever, sometimes, in earth justice even though there will be Divine Justice.  Well, these were some thoughts while moving the body out there--plus the thought of praying for those who have been kind to this soul through out the years and also those now--so very many people are so very kind to this hermit!  Has this hermit been kind, in kind?]

Hermitage: A Hermit's Home

Over the weekend forced some impetus to begin installing insulation board in the roof-line areas of the gable garret (attic).  In fresher mental moments, this hermit determines the space in the garret to be dedicated to St. John the Baptist--well, any of the John saints (Chrysostom, Climacus, Baptist, Apostle, of God, of the Cross).

Not sure why work on the hermitage has been very slow, other than a few aspects, all enhanced by what seems weakened faith, weakened bodily energy, weariness and uncertainty as to the outcome of such efforts on a "place" having the label of "hermitage", or a hermit's home.

Reading John Climacus' The Ladder of Divine Ascent, brings some renewed verve to the physical efforts of trying to make headway with seemingly overwhelming tasks in here.  Good reading, helpful reading to a hermit, outstanding reading for any soul: it all helps.  More on Climacus in a future post.  

For now, finishing a discussion of the concluding chapters in Dom Lorenzo Scupoli's The Spiritual Combat ought to spur some energy and confidence.  If not to proceed with the labors out of love of God, at least one may do so in recognition of past failures and errors, or in the acceptance of the rugged, temporal condition of the hermitage being a rightful and just penance for the sins of this hermit or the sins of any souls for which the hermit ought be embracing penance (even if no specific souls come to mind).

It is enough to mourn one's own sins yet not dwell on them to the point of inaction in the Order of the Present Moment.  And, that can become a conundrum of back-and-forth questioning if one should continue on with the work efforts and expenses, or take time out to cope with the current lack of adequate heat, or to buck up and bundle up and embrace all the lessons one can learn in such an immense undertaking.

Last evening's prayers in the Divine Office (at least am making some progress in the discipline of praying the various prayers and Scriptures collected in what is also called The Liturgy of the Hours or Prayers of the Church) included this intercession which seems apropos to the priority a hermit ought have, concerning its temporal abode: the hermitage.

"When at last our earthly home is dissolved,
– give us a home, not of earthly making, but built of eternity in heaven.
"Lord, you are our life and resurrection."

Amen and Amen!


It is already nearing mid-afternoon, and the hermit remains cocooned in bed.  There was an early morning phone call with a daughter and some tears of grief and mourning over two other family relationships that are so very painful and estranged.  

It is easy to fall into the past and try to berate oneself when at the time so much love and resources and desires were poured into one's children who now for whatever reasons, are angry and not wanting relationships, other than one who also receives little to no response from a sibling.  

When the hermit began to weep, the daughter said she did not mean to upset or remind of the past (something this hermit rips over far too often).  But the hermit said the situation is truly sad and so very unnecessary, and that is part of its sadness.  It is well to weep and to mourn for that which is truly pathetic and painful; just recently the Beatitudes said it again:  Blessed are they who mourn for they shall be comforted.  Penthos is part of what a soul, and a hermit's soul, too, ought to experience and live.

Another conversation was lengthy, with the young mother and wife across the miles.  We concluded our discussion and earthly examples to our final chapters read in Scupoli.  Impressed by his reviewing how to do an examination of conscience, as well as being humble and embracing what penances in our lives come our way (don't need to go looking for them; they arrive daily for our utilization!), we discussed his advice on cultivating a healthy, yet penitential attitude to our sins--without dwelling on them more than need-be in order to apologize to His Real Presence and call upon and accept the never-ending mercy of Jesus Christ.

Our next book we decided upon, by the grace of God and His inspiration:  Harlots of the Desert (Ward).  We are ready for some lives of saints, and these early desert mothers (or ammas) will provide brief encounters yet with enough depth and fine research to help us follow through on one of Scupoli's suggestions.  Take a half hour a day to read some spiritual material that includes reminders of our sinful condition yet also of remediation, of penance, and the joy of success in moving forward in a healthy way to the salvation which His Real Presence has secured for us.

Now, despite it being later in the day, the hermit has rested and kept warm in relative comfort, surrounded by the utter disgrace of its living conditions.  The hermit will rise, dress, and put in a couple hours or more of insulation efforts.  The past has been reviewed enough.   The future has been yearned enough.  The priority is clear for desiring a home, a hermitage, built in the eternity of heaven.  

Yet, right now, in the present moment, here in this temporal abode, the hermit must utilize the materials at hand to make the earthly hermitage warmer for itself and for any future dweller.  Hermits of any time period require shelter from the wind, cold, rain, snow, heat, burglars and robbers, wild elements and creatures just as do any living persons on this planet.  

Hermits in all of history have worked on building their hermitages or making them livable dwellings, with an emphasis on bringing glory to God in some aspect of the temporal decor and functionality.  (Besides simply storage area, the St. John Gabled Garret may likely be a tiny, intimate chapel.  The divine and the temporal may co-exist like the lion with the oxen.)

This earthly hermitage is not yet dissolved.  The time is not now.  God only knows when.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another!  God is Love!  Remain in His Love!

A Little Chat with Spiritual Father

Last night had a lovely phone conversation with the spiritual Father.  He continues to pray that this hermit will eventually have the energy, strength and necessary courage to drive the distance for Mass.  So does this hermit pray thus!  

The spiritual Father, now far away but accessible by phone, knows the past trials, sufferings, and persecutions, and also knows the reality of historical hermits, of which those not in religious orders of hermits (and some who were!), lived distances out and in solitude.  The women did not have Mass; the men who were not priests did not have Mass. 

He agrees to appreciate the hermit monks up the road, but given their different religious background and the polemics involved, best to hold as loving inspirations for what one can learn but to keep this hermit's life less complicated: simplicity.  

Yes, it is time for this hermit to listen and follow the Voice that speaks deep within, clearly in bell-tone, and not just sense these matters for others.  Several times, this hermit has ignored signals for itself, only to realize later His Real Presence very much meant the advice, warning, or statement.

Am yet in civilization, helping out in a quiet place but with two others.  One of the others goes to work, requiring this hermit's care for the one remaining here.  Am not used to speaking or the small bit of activity, calm and restful as it is.  The other day reflected that in the Te Deum hermitage, some several days can pass, and the hermit's voice has not made utterance unless a rare phone call--and they are rare.

Last evening in phone conversation, the spiritual Father commented that this, here, is a true hermit's life--what has evolved in the past 18 months or so.  Yes, it is, and the adaptation and greater faith required has been a challenge off-and-on.  Mentioned to him that of ten days ago, going to confession when in civilization (and also gathering some provisions).  Shared that the recently ordained parish priest made an assumption in the confessional:  "I bet you thought your hermit life was going to be really easy at first, and now you are surprised it is difficult."

This hermit did not respond to that assumption, as it was totally false.  Did not want to bother with a defense or explanation; just not worth the verbal effort, and it really did not matter if the young priest knew or not how it was for the hermit, years past.  Was not going to affect his well-needed time and efforts with active parishioners, and might not help him realize that making assumptions can be tricky.  He meant well or else simply assumed from not knowing how it is for some hermits (or maybe all if incisively honest).

But, no, this hermit never ever thought at any time that it would be easy--not from the first of God's revealing the hermit vocation over fourteen years ago to even today.  In fact, the sensation within this hermit was that of dread...and yet of a certainty to step forth into the desert!  Somehow, the reality of needing to die to so much of one's accumulation of outer and inner distractions has always been a reality, and a harsh one depending upon depth of self-disclosure, clarity of the reflective mirror.

Distractions of the temporal accumulations--but more, the distractions of the inner accumulations, the spiritual vices, the temptations to resist, for whatever the reasons, that which is challenging on the path of spiritual perfection--these require profound and repetitive dying.  

But granted, with each level of dying comes a rising, and it is key to note that there are levels, phases--a spiraling of the double-helix of the temporal and spiritual sloughing of accumulated distractions.  These deaths free the soul in mostly indiscernible increments to love progressively, and more perfectly, God in Himself, and in Himself to love all souls alive on earth and those souls alive but not physically tangible.

This hermit mentioned that this phase of its life is filled with more hardships than ever dreamed and ever lived--and after being given what could have, seemingly should have, been a secure and comfortable existence for the rest of earthly life.  The spiritual Father exclaimed, "But you are in the desert now!  In a very real desert!  You are a true hermit!"

And, to another eremitic effort, the spiritual Father mentioned on the phone last night, that breaking seven times from the physical and mental distractions of each day and night to pray the Divine Office, is difficult.  He repeated, "This is not easy!"  Truly, while it should not be so difficult in the mere thinking about what seems a small effort, times seven, any efforts against accumulated distractions are challenging.  

It is a truth, at least to this hermit, that no matter how cleverly or contentedly one may think one is in some spiritual discipline or gift of grace, there is never sole or soul assurance that one has "arrived".  For one has not arrived, not yet.  We will know more of arrival when after worldly and other-worldly purgation and progressions, we enter Heaven.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, as He loves us!  Remain in His Love!

Affirmation on Frequent Prayer

This morning Office of Readings in the Divine Office (Monday of Week One), contains an excerpt from a letter to Proba, by Augustine.  Personally, it seemed a good affirmation from His Real Presence upon this hermit's returning to praying the seven "hours" of the Divine Office, breaking off other tasks in the day and utilizing the time in the night when awakened due to pain.

While not advocating set, formulaic, verbal or mental prayers for the sake of daily routine or sense of accomplishing some imposed standard for the eremitic prayer life, for this hermit, praying the Divine Office in segments is a discipline that had lapsed, and that happened to be a good effort.  

This is not meant to replace the affective prayers--those prayers of loving affection offered to His Real Presence, spontaneously and from deep within the heart.  Nor is it a substitute for meditative and contemplative prayer, should contemplation be graced by God upon the soul.  However, the Divine Office may lead the soul into meditation, and also unfold into contemplation.  A hermit has all the time God has given to be in His Real Presence; temporal tasks ought be secondary.

What impresses this hermit today, is Augustine's suggestion of praying at set hours with the purpose of turning our thoughts away from the efforts in the temporal, daily tasks and thoughts, and turning them to our heart's desire, which is His Real Presence:  Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  

There are additional, fine considerations in what Augustine writes to Proba.  Further in the letter (not represented below) is the reminder that the Lord's prayer contains all that is necessary in praying, if prayed from the heart and with full attention, desire, and love.  

However, as to this Catholic hermit's return to praying the Divine Office (which includes the Lord's Prayer) at various times in day and night, there is the added impetus that one is uniting in the same praises and supplications with all those who pray the Divine Office, world-wide.  This is one way in which a consecrated religious solitary is deeply connected with others of the Body of Christ not only in the present moment but also those who prayed and will pray the Office, past and future. 

_______________

One might ask, as this hermit did:  Who is Proba?  From an internet site, Augnet.org, the following information helps explain.

"This is probably the letter of Augustine that is known the most.

"The letter Augustine wrote to Proba is called Letter 130. It was written in the year 412, by which time he had been a bishop for about seventeen years.

"Anicia Faltonia Proba was the widow of the wealthiest man in the Roman Empire.

"Three of her sons held the consulship. After Alaric led a Gothic army into Rome in 410 and pillaged the city, Proba, with a considerable retinue of widows and younger women, took refuge in Africa and established a community of religious women in Carthage.

"Among her group were her daughter Juliana and her grand-niece Demetrias. (Two years later in 414, Augustine wrote On the good of widowhood to Juliana.)

"Proba asked Augustine how she ought to pray, and in his response he advised her on the kind of person she ought to be, and what she ought to pray for.

"Author Peter Brown states that these ladies, affected by the teachings of Pelagius, elicited Augustine's most mature and sympathetic statements about his ideal for Christian life. Unlike Pelagius, Augustine could find room for a spectrum of human failings. In his own life and in that of others, he sought and encouraged blessedness, in spite of human failings.

"This Letter 130 by Augustine to Proba is a short instruction on Christian private prayer. The letter has two parts. Augustine first explains the interior condition desirable for praying (Chapters 1-3), and then (Chapters 4-13) explains the purpose of private prayer.

"The purpose of prayer is to attain a blessed life. He suggests that the use of words be kept brief and fervent, and be supported by a life of good works. The words are needed only to help us keep in mind what a person is requesting, and are not necessary to remind or persuade God regarding the request being made.

"Augustine proclaims that the Lord’s Prayer contains all the praise and petition that prayer requires. A person is free to express the same sentiments in other words if desired, but not to ask for anything that is either contrary to or beyond the scope of the Lord’s Prayer."

_____________

Now for a selection from Augustine's letter to Proba:

Let us turn our mind to the task of prayer at appointed hours

"Let us always desire the happy life from the Lord God and always pray for it. But for this very reason we turn our mind to the task of prayer at appointed hours, since that desire grows lukewarm, so to speak, from our involvement in other concerns and occupations. We remind ourselves through the words of prayer to focus our attention on the object of our desire; otherwise, the desire that began to grow lukewarm may grow chill altogether and may be totally extinguished unless it is repeatedly stirred into flame.

"Therefore, when the Apostle says: Let your petitions become known before God, this should not be taken in the sense that they are in fact becoming known to God who certainly knew them even before they were made, but that they are becoming known to us before God through submission and not before men through boasting.

"Since this is the case, it is not wrong or useless to pray even for a long time when there is the opportunity. I mean when it does not keep us from performing the other good and necessary actions we are obliged to do. But even in these actions, as I have said, we must always pray with that desire. 

"To pray for a longer time is not the same as to pray by multiplying words, as some people suppose. Lengthy talk is one thing, a prayerful disposition which lasts a long time is another. For it is even written in reference to the Lord himself that he spent the night in prayer and that he prayed at great length. Was he not giving us an example by this? In time, he prays when it is appropriate; and in eternity, he hears our prayers with the Father.

"The monks in Egypt are said to offer frequent prayers, but these are very short and hurled like swift javelins. Otherwise their watchful attention, a very necessary quality for anyone at prayer, could be dulled and could disappear through protracted delays. They also clearly demonstrate through this practice that a person must not quickly divert such attention if it lasts, just as one must not allow it to be blunted if it cannot last.

"Excessive talking should be kept out of prayer but that does not mean that one should not spend much time in prayer so long as fervent attitude continues to accompany his prayer. To talk at length in prayer is to perform a necessary action with an excess of words. To spend much time in prayer is to knock with a persistent and holy fervor at the door of the one whom we beseech. This task is generally accomplished more through sighs than words, more through weeping than speech. He places our tears in his sight, and our sighs are not hidden from him, for he has established all things through his Word and does not seek human words."

____________

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, for God Is Love!  Remain in His Love! 

Return to Silence, The Divine Office, and Other Considerations

After being called out to civilization for a charitable visit and gathering a few provisions, have returned to the silence, solitude, and slowness of this beautiful life of stricter separation from the world in assiduous prayer and penance...and very much that of praising His Real Presence!  The physical body needs much rest and to recover, and to manage the physical pain, so wearing.

Fr. V. has emailed his guidance from across the globe and reminds that if am "unable to go [to Mass] there isn't much problem. Just have enough time of silence and meditation and then offer nice praises to God.  Today's readings call for deep reflection.  God through the prophet tells us that he could reveal himself anywhere and he choose anyone as his instrument."  He knows the circumstances and details of this nothing Catholic hermit's circumstances. 

It is best to have a priest spiritual adviser who knows one's health, physical and spiritual life, vocation, and past and current situation.  For a hermit, it also is best, and this from over 14 years experience of living the eremitic life (which may not seem that long but does offer fair perspective) to have as a spiritual guide an Order priest more familiar with spiritual and eremitic life, or a priest living an eremitic life who is formed more in contemplative religious vocations than what training and formation a diocesan cleric could reasonably have or offer.

Recently the young married woman and mother who discusses once a week via phone the book The Spiritual Combat (Scupoli), asked why it is a diocese priest would not have a better grasp of hermit life.  She thought it a lapse or flaw that ought be remedied, that the diocesan priests and bishops ought to have a better understanding, a historical understanding as well as specific.  

But this hermit thinks not.  How many hermits did the young woman know from her parish growing up and now the one she attends?  (The question was recently also asked of a life-long Catholic man in his late 50's, very involved in his large and active parish.)  Their answers were: "None."  

This nothing Catholic hermit recalled meeting with a parishioner a year ago, at the bequest of a Jesuit priest in a very social activist parish.  The parishioner is their designated spiritual director, and she admitted she did not know anything about the eremitic vocation nor did she know any hermits.

And, truly, why should they need to know?  For example, in a marvelous parish of over 2000 families, the priests had not dealt with a hermit prior.  We can see of what their time and energy ought be spent:  the full range of active adult parishioners, the ill, the many children, single lay adults--not on a hermit who may happen along, if ever.  They do not even need to know there is a hermit worshiping with them, if one does.  

And it is not necessary for them to know, nor to spend time reading books or researching lives of hermits throughout Church history.  This is what the hermit ought be doing for a better grasp of his own vocational understanding, plus in developing a strong life of prayer.  To learn from and model one's hermit vocation after the lives of the historical and canonized hermits of the Church whose existences evolved into spiritual successes of humility and later sanctity, is the best grounding and training for any hermit, publicly or privately professed.  


Of the various priests and bishops known to this nothing Catholic hermit, none of them have had experience with hermits nor anything beyond a cursory knowledge.  Only one knew of a hermit he recalled from seminary days years past--seminary of a Benedictine monastery.  The hermit he recalled was a priest who would come into the monastery once a week, if that often, for some supplies and brief contact with his superior.

And, of course, leaning not unto thine own understanding, but turning to His Real Presence as one's source and Source of beauty, truth and goodness, is key.  Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.  Following in His footsteps, in any vocation, is the way through this earthly existence to our heavenly reward.

_____________


From the week-ago conversation with the hermit priest in the small monastery up the road, this nothing Catholic hermit gained a necessary reminder to tighten the spiritual focus of its vocation.  Am praying the Divine Office in all its hours, and doing so with attempted slowness and stillness.  Yes, the mind wants to scatter, but one must bring it back into silence, solitude and slowness.

It is amazing what other hermits might share either in life or from their extant writings, that helps one in his own eremitic daily life of loving service through prayer, praise and penance.  Even something that reminds one not to do, is a benefit.  

Am recalling two priests (not hermits) who led a pilgrimage, and their reading aloud together their morning and evening offices, in front of the group of pilgrims when waiting in shrine lines or on the bus.  They read it so quickly, that words were indistinguishable.  It became more a public routine which could inspire those with them, but more became a point of humor in a way due to the rushed performance. That is an ever-reminder to this hermit to pray the Office, not race it.

When this hermit asked the hermit priest last week about their daily horarium, what stood out was their praying the Jesus prayer as they worked, and that they doubled up on two of the "hours", twice--that is, praying aloud two, one after another.  The other "hours" were prayed privately.  

Since this nothing Catholic hermit had asked about their horarium (daily physical and spiritual schedule) due to its own recognized lapsing, the thought arose that when only two hermit priests and one hermit monk living in very close quarters felt a need to double up praying the Divine Office hours, there really should be no need to double them.  Why not simply stop whatever other work or possible distractions, and pray them individually, not doubling up?  The spaced praying is part of the effort in training the body, mind, heart and soul to turn to God throughout day and night.

Time spent in a Cistercian monastery and having done much reading on the Carthusians, reminded that over 40 men (in the Cistercian monastery) stopped their tasks and also rose in the night, to pray each Office with reverent deliberation.  All these thoughts have brought this Catholic hermit, the solitary of Te Deum House, to return to praying the Offices.  

There is simply no excuse for this nothing Catholic hermit to not pray all of them and cease whatever other activity, in order to give first place to praise and prayer of and in His Real Presence.  

(This is to not suggest it is easy, though.  This hermit has experience with various temptations and weaknesses against doing what otherwise is a small offering  of the few minutes out of all the time God gifts, to pray each "Hour" of the Divine Office!)  

So, to begin once again, to bring this hermit's will into loving discipline and in union with the many hermits whether together in monasteries or living in solitude around the world, who pray the Divine Office in its beneficial fullness.

It is a small thing, truly.  But in the life of a hermit, it is a primary call to immerse oneself in the Living Word of His Real Presence, and to enter into love of God in Himself, and in Him, to be praying for all the people in the whole world, in the universe.  Pray for those souls on this side of the veil and those souls on the other, for all souls are the community to which the hermit belongs, for whom the hermit prays, loves, and does so through, with, and in His Real Presence:  Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little Children, let us love one another, as He loves us!

Not for You

Was praying about the option of Mass at the monastery that is of different rite, different tradition.  Certain aspects came up in research and in prayerful mediation.  Fell asleep and awoke being told by very clear Voice, "Not for you."

This hermit knows that Voice.  Yet, in order to discern more fully have been doing more research and prayer.

It is best to remain cautious and hidden, for now.  There is no need to get involved in polemics over faith, over tradition and rite.  Something the abbot has written as well as comments made, are red flags.  So often this hermit gets the signals clearly and senses for others, and then when the signals come to itself, tends to talk itself out of them.

Have tried to talk out of "Not for you" for a few days now.  But, it will be best to simply wait and pray and remain in silence and solitude.  After all have been through in the past few years, is wisdom to tread slowly and softly into something with a simple statement.  When considering all factors, it is not for this hermit, not now and perhaps not at all.

Best to remain this nothing Catholic hermit and be removed from temporal polemics between believers--of which there really ought not be the fussing and the debates and the self-righteousness of one way over another.

This morning when in silence and serenity, after having stuffed steel wool in as many visible, potential rat entry holes and crevices in this hermitage, the simple desire of wanting to be close to His Real Presence over took the body, mind, heart and soul.  That is the earthly and heavenly desire, and all else--even rats invading this physical space at night--fades in significance, concern or consideration.

And that, too, covers the polemics and any polemicist of which hermit this or that, or which parish this or that, or which way to pray or what to wear or who to sidle up to or what devotion or shrine--not interested in self-righteousness or Pharisaic parsing or divisions.   

All polemics and polemicists (even those doing so convinced in the Name of Christ) crumble to what is the earthly and heavenly desire of this nothing Catholic hermit:  just want Jesus, surrender all to Jesus, remain in His Love.

________________

After searching through some boxes, packed a year-and-a-half ago in a comfortable and lovely hermitage far away, found the leather-bound breviaries.  The fourth volume is now marked with its ribbons and ready for this hermit to begin once more, praying the hours, all of them, throughout the days and the nights.  There is no reason not to.  Nothing is pressing in urgency otherwise.  Being in the Living Word more and more, praising and praying and remaining in His Real Presence, will be pleasing to this soul and His Soul.

(Was reminded in Scupoli, that one consideration for meditating is to consider what Jesus sacrificed for his soul, and what He sacrificed for our souls.  It is good to remember that Jesus as Man has a soul, and as God Is Creator of souls.  The treasures of pondering Jesus Human and Divine, are endless.)

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, for love is of God!  Remain in His Love!