Challenge of Living Well a Single Day: Holiness

From The Imitation of Christ: 

 Would that in this world we had lived well throughout one single day. Many count up the years they have spent in religion but find their lives made little holier. 

Rejoicing on this Fourth Sunday in Lent:  Laetere Sunday! Am so thankful for many blessings and lessons learned this Lent.  

While immersing the mind, soul-to-soul with Thomas a Kempis today, the nothing Catholic hermit chuckles at its own years spent as a consecrated hermit as well as the years spent as a Catholic, and the years prior spent as a devout Protestant.  In all, even without counting the years--this soul's life indeed seems less holy than way back in the first years of life!  

It is true, as many spiritual writers--saints or mystics alike--living a long life does not necessarily bring holiness no matter how much a person strives.  The truth they tell, is that a long life brings about additional challenges, not the least of which are increased temptations in daily life.

Yesterday, the nothing Catholic hermit looked forward to getting running water back into the hermitage.  On Friday, it had to shut off the water in order to run some new hot and cold water lines, as well as to re-plumb the kitchen drain pipe under the house, from 1.5" to the now-code 2".

Then a rather costly but worker with muscle strength far more than the hermit, was to come for a marvelous day of focused effort to bring the final five feet or less of 3" main drain pipe under the house, over and down into the main toilet stack that heads on out to the septic tank and drain fields beyond....

He arrived, sure enough, but he was yet again in a non-focused mode, was easily distracted, had not slept well, and admitted to his love of booze.  (The hermit had suspected that in the nearly year of knowing this man, and has great empathy for such a tempting love of drink.)  However, when not much if any progress was made by him in the work efforts, the tenor of the efforts changed. When he made outright errors and became petulant, it was time to accept that the hermit would be without running water for some time longer.

Doing the best in encouraging this worker to focus and to take the high road in the tasks at hand, nothing seemed to jog him in this second work day of little accomplishment and some frustrating mistakes that the hermit will have to correct.  It all seems so needless--these personality issues that we humans bring upon ourselves--drinking too much, staying late at a bar socializing and muddying the mind, expecting hourly pay at a high rate despite the quality of work produced, and blaming one's parents for making a person take college prep classes in high school and saying it turned off the teen to college.  

Is this why the person has no money despite a profession which assures high hourly pay and all the hours a person can possibly work in a day, six days a week (or seven if the person ignores God's request of us for His Sabbath rest)?  Then the fault continues to cause the person to file bankruptcy, to become a self-admitted hoarder, to rent but be facing eviction, to not qualify for a mortgage, to drink away the wages earned, and those not always through diligent work ethics, to put on excessive weight, causing the body to not effectively work hard or long.

Yet, this one is a soul, like all of our souls, dear to God despite the problems.  Granted, the nothing Catholic hermit did become firm--seemingly to a point of what it be horrified if it needed to be spoken to firmly like that.  

[No, we are not going to work upstairs on the PEX plumbing.  I need you to please finish the electrical that has been put off and is your expertise.  No, again, I can do the PEX plumbing.   Why pay a high hourly wage and take time and risk costly errors when I've spent hours studying and learning from plumbers, have it in my head, and can do it? Please, please just do the electrical wiring that is your forte. Let us just stay focused.  No, PLEASE, get your head out from under the sink cabinet.  I am going to cut that stub-out pipe, later.  I had asked you to please remove the unglued drain pipe--not disassemble the entire p-trap.... Again, NO, I said I can cut the pipe tomorrow, and I really need you to finish the electrical.  Yes, that includes putting the wire up into the gable attic area.  No, the stairway does not have to be rebuilt first.  You just drill a 1-inch hole through the attic sub-flooring.  See?  Right up there!  Do you want me to go upstairs and drill the hole?  I will be happy to do it, if it will make it easier for you to see where to run the wire and have it ready for a switch box....]

Well, again, what seems obvious and good work ethic to one, is not to another.  And in "bearing with the faults of others", the "others" is a key concept to grasp.  "Others" includes all of us, even ourselves.  So the nothing Catholic hermit has considered in prayer, in Scripture, and in the silence of the hermitage on this Sunday in Lent (the 63rd of its life on earth--but why keep count?) the times its many faults have been unbearable to some.  It also considers those of its many faults that were somehow bearable to those very holy people who coped with this soul of which God breathed into human form, more than that many years ago.

Yes, if this nothing Catholic hermit could live well through one day--even one hour--then what progress!  But it is not easy.  Why recall the frustrations of the situation yesterday, rather than think on the phenomenal work of Juanito who came unexpectedly, works by the day and put in a ten hours hanging sheetrock?  He installed the heavy stuff meticulously in the living room and lower sitting area.  He lived well yesterday, and in silent diligence.  

We never know what is going on in another person's mind or heart; often we don't, at least accurately, know what is going on in our own.  But silence can sometimes be a good indicator as opposed to loquacity, such as one talkative worker looking for jokes on his iPhone in order to distract the other worker who was working harder, longer, and for less wages.  The ploy did not work.  Juanito kept focused, smiling sweetly, and turning his head...then walking off to get another sheet of drywall from the pole barn.

How many ploys has this nothing Catholic hermit attempted over the days and years in distracting others or itself?  The thought is boggling.  The truth remains that it is quite some feat if one can live a day well.  Only by God's grace can we even make the attempt, or even desire to make the attempt to live well--not just "good enough".   Just to try to remove or even slightly reduce one flaw, such as drinking too much...or being frustrated to a point of lingering upset with someone who slacks on the job.  Only by the grace of God and His mercy can we do it, and then not perfectly for the flaws keep rearing themselves, human temptation after temptation, human imperfection after imperfection.

Why count up the years of being alive, or, for some, the years of being a consecrated Catholic hermit?  This soul has not found the years have made it much holier!  This truth is wondrously amazing and worthy of the rejoicing that crowns this Laetere Sunday of Lent.  Rejoice!  It is not that we should not keep striving for holiness in the years that flow one after another in most of our lives.  It is that we should grasp that the longer we live, the more we grasp that we are imperfect; and the more flaws of various types that we find in others, the more we also can find in ourselves.  Take fault-finding, for starters.

[It is yet prudent for the hermit to read that book on electrical wiring, for God's money gifted to the hermit by its late parents is hemorrhaging profusely.  Learn how to wire the switches and sockets into their boxes.  Learn that it is not particularly thrilling, and understand the temptation to electrician burn-out when one is older, trapped by human flaws, and  with no other career options easily at hand.  All the same, why put oneself in the temptation of being frustrated, or put another into temptation to slack on the job and yet demand full wages?  God will guide in this situation, as He does in all if we seek, ask, listen to, and accept His Providence.]

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, for God Is Love!  Remain in His Love!

Chastity

Continuing reading on chastity in St. John Climacus' The Ladder of Divine Ascent.

Have not dealt with the visceral, the lustful, sexual aspects of lust in years, but could relate totally with how the process operates on the body and the mind, and how the devil tempts--even if a person is called to the married state.  

Regardless, the effort for gaining chastity is life-long and known to all souls, as we are melded to our bodies while on earth.  The natural instincts rise in puberty and often don't leave in thought or in bodily stirrings.

Of note, it is mentioned that those who think they have achieved victory over their bodies and minds in this regard, are fooling themselves.  And, this leads into the aspect of chastity as a virtue of purity, and purity includes not just the psychosexual and physical, sexual inclinations of the human body, mind, and emotions.  Purity extends to other levels, reaching into the soul to desire and grasp what is the freedom of the angels in this regard.

Another point about chastity is that blessed is the soul who has no more nor less attraction to animate beings than to inanimate beings.

And for this, we know that some humans (and animals) are born with seemingly more tendency to sexual prowess and desires, inclinations, than others.  Some are more spiritually inclined, or able to transcend the body, but not out of disgust or perversion against sexuality or mating for the purposes of propagation of our and their species.  For these persons, chastity may not pose as great an obstacle or life-long battle of higher degrees, but there is always the prize of other forms of chastity, or purity, to be desired, gained, and if gained, to honor and hold.

Everything John Climacus writes as to the wiles of the devil (and the devil in others or in us as tempter and provoker of unchaste conquests), this nothing can certainly relate with.  But there was a time when it would not have been able to know from experience, the manipulations and the deceptions of the human mind when concupiscence comes to clutch the body, mind, and emotions.

This is a blessing, and knew it fairly soon into the process.  It was something His Real Presence needed this nothing to learn and thus to be greatly humbled by the force of not only desires but the sheer cunning of the devil in trying to debase one's chastity.  Frankly, it was awful, and the bulk of the battle was in extricating from the relationship.  The outcome came when the Lord allowed the inner will and strength to mount to a point of knowing with certainty that He was the desired Beloved and none other.

For those called to other ways upon earth, in their spiritual journeys, they live and learn chastity within a sanctioned and holy relationship.  It seems as if God arranges quite perfectly, even our falls from grace, and shows us for ourselves, what we truly desire when we get out of the predicament.

Climacus explains, also, the reason why illicit sexual relations are considered to be "falls", when other sins are termed "lapses."  In the earlier centuries, there were stiff consequences by the Church for those who "fell" in fornication.  Twelve years without the sacraments, and the sinner had to show deep repentance.  For heretics, their lapse was considered not as terrible because it could be they were ignorant of the faith.  As consequence, once they repented with heart-felt sorrow and new zeal for the faith, they were required to have four years of catechesis, but most could receive the sacraments immediately or soon, depending upon their return and conviction.

But, all that, as we know, has changed in our times.  It perhaps is another example of how the temporal can shift, and to live too much involved and caught up in rules and temporal consequences, is not the same as the soul's intimate repentance and conversion with His Real Presence, and suffering the far worse (or so it seems) consequences of having offended Him.  The agony and remorse is so great when the soul repents with God as his soulmate, that other external consequences don't seem to carry the same weight.  

Yet, receiving the Sacraments when in grave sin, is not wise, in a spiritual aspect.  No, it is rather serious; but only the soul who strives for chastity even if with imperfection--but with desire to be pure--would know how wretched it is to partake of His Body and Blood when so chained to wrong doing.  It does seem rather impossible for the temporal Church to even begin to try to place restrictions on those who fornicate, for how could they manage?  It comes down to a trust issue, between the soul and the confessor, perhaps.  

But truly, it seems best dealt with between the soul and His Real Presence.  If the person in sin has not the desire to change nor the contrition of heart, not struggling sincerely to overcome the unchaste behavior, that soul becomes hardened and deceived.  However, the one who knows his wrong for what it is even if cannot yet overcome the vice, will anguish when receiving His Body and Blood, and know deep within how he is defiling God, seriously, painfully.  These considerations, though, have to do with various, particular conditions of individual souls.  All of us have chastity to gain....

Again, it would be very difficult to enforce, externally, sacramental consequences in our times.  His Real Presence handles it, within each soul, either during life or at judgment.  What is sad is that we people tend not to fear, and allow ourselves to be convinced that we are chaste, when there are always degrees and the whole aspect of purity in various levels, not just bodily.

Reading what John Climacus has to say on this particular step in the Divine Ascent, brings up many other truths and considerations with the virtue of chastity--far more than the little bit of discussion here.  

It is worth reading, this book, and prayerfully considering his knowledge and wisdom from a time closer to the days Christ taught on earth, and the experiences of the apostles in working out a less encumbered church, at least the temporal aspects of Her, than now.  Seems good to comb through some centuries' worth of this and that, and get down to some basics.  Chastity, plain and pure, for instance.

God bless His Real Presence in us!

A Little Chat with Spiritual Father

Last night had a lovely phone conversation with the spiritual Father.  He continues to pray that this hermit will eventually have the energy, strength and necessary courage to drive the distance for Mass.  So does this hermit pray thus!  

The spiritual Father, now far away but accessible by phone, knows the past trials, sufferings, and persecutions, and also knows the reality of historical hermits, of which those not in religious orders of hermits (and some who were!), lived distances out and in solitude.  The women did not have Mass; the men who were not priests did not have Mass. 

He agrees to appreciate the hermit monks up the road, but given their different religious background and the polemics involved, best to hold as loving inspirations for what one can learn but to keep this hermit's life less complicated: simplicity.  

Yes, it is time for this hermit to listen and follow the Voice that speaks deep within, clearly in bell-tone, and not just sense these matters for others.  Several times, this hermit has ignored signals for itself, only to realize later His Real Presence very much meant the advice, warning, or statement.

Am yet in civilization, helping out in a quiet place but with two others.  One of the others goes to work, requiring this hermit's care for the one remaining here.  Am not used to speaking or the small bit of activity, calm and restful as it is.  The other day reflected that in the Te Deum hermitage, some several days can pass, and the hermit's voice has not made utterance unless a rare phone call--and they are rare.

Last evening in phone conversation, the spiritual Father commented that this, here, is a true hermit's life--what has evolved in the past 18 months or so.  Yes, it is, and the adaptation and greater faith required has been a challenge off-and-on.  Mentioned to him that of ten days ago, going to confession when in civilization (and also gathering some provisions).  Shared that the recently ordained parish priest made an assumption in the confessional:  "I bet you thought your hermit life was going to be really easy at first, and now you are surprised it is difficult."

This hermit did not respond to that assumption, as it was totally false.  Did not want to bother with a defense or explanation; just not worth the verbal effort, and it really did not matter if the young priest knew or not how it was for the hermit, years past.  Was not going to affect his well-needed time and efforts with active parishioners, and might not help him realize that making assumptions can be tricky.  He meant well or else simply assumed from not knowing how it is for some hermits (or maybe all if incisively honest).

But, no, this hermit never ever thought at any time that it would be easy--not from the first of God's revealing the hermit vocation over fourteen years ago to even today.  In fact, the sensation within this hermit was that of dread...and yet of a certainty to step forth into the desert!  Somehow, the reality of needing to die to so much of one's accumulation of outer and inner distractions has always been a reality, and a harsh one depending upon depth of self-disclosure, clarity of the reflective mirror.

Distractions of the temporal accumulations--but more, the distractions of the inner accumulations, the spiritual vices, the temptations to resist, for whatever the reasons, that which is challenging on the path of spiritual perfection--these require profound and repetitive dying.  

But granted, with each level of dying comes a rising, and it is key to note that there are levels, phases--a spiraling of the double-helix of the temporal and spiritual sloughing of accumulated distractions.  These deaths free the soul in mostly indiscernible increments to love progressively, and more perfectly, God in Himself, and in Himself to love all souls alive on earth and those souls alive but not physically tangible.

This hermit mentioned that this phase of its life is filled with more hardships than ever dreamed and ever lived--and after being given what could have, seemingly should have, been a secure and comfortable existence for the rest of earthly life.  The spiritual Father exclaimed, "But you are in the desert now!  In a very real desert!  You are a true hermit!"

And, to another eremitic effort, the spiritual Father mentioned on the phone last night, that breaking seven times from the physical and mental distractions of each day and night to pray the Divine Office, is difficult.  He repeated, "This is not easy!"  Truly, while it should not be so difficult in the mere thinking about what seems a small effort, times seven, any efforts against accumulated distractions are challenging.  

It is a truth, at least to this hermit, that no matter how cleverly or contentedly one may think one is in some spiritual discipline or gift of grace, there is never sole or soul assurance that one has "arrived".  For one has not arrived, not yet.  We will know more of arrival when after worldly and other-worldly purgation and progressions, we enter Heaven.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, as He loves us!  Remain in His Love!