The Proof of the Pudding

Yesterday, made a call to the counter top people.  Had noticed after the very good installers left, that they had forgotten to shim the sink so that it would perfectly meet the counter top.  Three times had been told that they would do this:  once from the man at the company a few weeks ago, once from the template man, and once from the installers themselves, on site.

Each time this nothing Catholic hermit was willing and ready and able to simply put in the little shims that would make the back sides of the sink quite level so that there would not be any gaps.  Each time, was told no, that the installers needed to do that so that they could adjust when they placed the heavy counter on top of cabinets and sink.

But, somehow they forgot or decided it was good enough.  Thus, the counter tops meet exactly, are flush with, the sink to the front sides, but to the back there is a gap which they filled with silicone caulk.  In speaking with the company, they were not wanting to return to make it better or best.  They did ask for photos, so sent those via internet.   The response was that it was acceptable as is, and not to be concerned:  water will drain from the sink.

Within, though, there was quite a bit of remorse, given all the work done on this project and trying to do all for God, and to do it well and correctly.  A level has been as an additional appendage in the past weeks while working on cabinets.  And, what stung the most was the reality that this hermit was right here, and bringing up the subject, and pointing out the sink not exactly level, and was assured that they wanted it that way so they could better make the final adjustments.

Took the photos to Don at Lowe's.  He has always been honest and also is somewhat of a like-minded person regarding having things done correctly and to the detail.  He said it was within the range of very acceptable.  When this hermit brought up the question of perhaps stressing out over something that should not be, he said he thought so.  Again, he commented that the gap was very minor and would not affect anything other, even though he agreed it could have been absolutely perfect.  Just was not to be.  The opportunity was missed.

Now, why? This question was posed to His Real Presence, for by then was accepting and even chuckling over how the weariness from the day before and all the work efforts, had resulted in increased physical pain.  This pain never helps the mind to keep all in perspective.  Yet, it did seem kind of strange that out of three times of being told not to shim the sink, that they would do it, it did not happen.  So easily could it have been shimmed, and the costly efforts of cabinets and counter tops (of which remain six more years in payments) would have resulted in near perfection if not perfectly level.

The answer came soon, from His Real Presence.

Consider the soul.  Consider this hermit's soul.  Consider this Catholic hermit's soul. Consider this nothing Catholic hermit's soul.  It could be perfected if just a bit more attention, a bit more shimming, a bit more leveling, a bit more detail, a bit more time, a bit more communication, a bit more effort in just doing what would help it be perfected.

That is the message of the sink and counter top imperfection--barely noticeable if at all to anyone else, but known to this hermit.  And this is the soul, and deep within, this hermit notices the imperfections and knows the simple remedies of acts of the will that no others may ever know or see, but His Real Presence does.

The proof of the pudding of any consecrated religious hermit (or perhaps any soul desiring God), is not what others are doing or think ought to be done, or what ought to be this or that in a hermit rule of life or hermit vocation.  The proof of the pudding is not in what a parish priest or a monastery monk or abbot think or how they live their lives, or what is their spiritual progress or status, nor in what they think is the hermit vocation.  The proof of the pudding is not in what other hermits consider to be valid or legal or credible or  proper according to recent developments such as Canons adopted in 1983 or in past developments evolved over centuries and centuries, or in different rites of the Church, or of the East or the West.

The proof of the pudding in a soul is if that soul buckles down and tends to the inner details, and communicates with His Real Presence in what must be done and how it is to be lived, and in what ways to grow and to learn and to love.  No one else can do this for the soul, nor can the soul look to others as supporters or as naysayers.  No one other than the soul can know if that soul is doing all that it can of its God-given will, to seek and love His Real Presence and to have an abode welcoming and open and ready for His Real Presence to fully reside therein.

The effort of the soul must come from the soul, from the soul's will--a will that His Real Presence offers freely to all souls, and offers yet more graces when a soul is seriously desirous of His Real Presence beyond all else in life and is willing to do all possible (which is actually quite a lot due to His Real Presence's presence!).

The proof of the pudding will come some day, perhaps before the soul's body passes from earthly existence into the eternal of heaven.  Maybe the soul and His Real Presence only will know the proof, will see the proof.  Or, perhaps others will be shown while yet on earth or after.   The point is, others cannot determine the proof of the pudding of any soul, nor can they judge that soul in process, nor can they do for the soul what the soul must do for itself, even if in other ways than what other souls are doing what their wills are doing within their own souls.

This nothing Catholic hermit, this soul, is buckling down.  Am done with the politics of the temporal and the confusions of others and others' ways of interpreting the temporal or the spiritual.  The politics and confusions only create more politics and a politics of confusion, at that.  Gone is any expectation that a priest or monk or lay person or other consecrated religious hermit can do what really is simply up to the soul itself to seek, listen, and then do based upon sound wisdom and guidance from the writings of the souls and the spiritual assistance allowed to cross the veil, that His Real Presence provides and blesses upon each soul who asks for the help.

This soul has asked and receives.  But this soul's God-given will is going to have to do the work, make the effort, and seek His Real Presence with a desire for spiritual perfection and not expect others to make the adjustments or to level the path for it.  His Real Presence then can perfect such souls when and how He wills.  But the soul must desire and love and make the effort, buckle down.

This is so, in the simple added example of one who needs to lose weight.  It is known what foods to eat or not eat, what exercise to include.  One can go to a dietician who might say, or have other ideas; but the person in point knows what to do, and no other can actually do it for one or in one's place.  The proof of the pudding is in the pounds lost and remaining off the body.  It is the same for souls needing His Real Presence, desiring as He desires of us, to have union with and in us, and us with and in Him.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another for God Is Love!

Catholic Hermit Shares Bits of This and That

I still am working up the emotional energy to continue writing about the death experience.  I wrote in a couple blogs of the lead up, but I yet will write about what occurred in recovery room and after, including the actual dying process which for me did not include extensive time in heaven.  But it is yet worth writing and sharing, for each person who has these experiences can add a bit of information to the process that so many fear.

This past week I had a couple of nights and a day in civilization.  I was called upon to watch my grandson, age 7, for a day.  It was very good to be among some accepting people, and share love and our Christian values.  Plus, I so enjoyed a shower and delightful living conditions.  This body needed a break from heat, hard manual labor, and minimal type food.  Upon return, I am ever reminded of how the bulk of humanity lives in such conditions as this hermitage--or live in far worse!

I have been praying much for those suffering with Ebola virus, including the two Americans being treated with experimental drugs.  I think so of the people in West Africa who do not have the drugs and who suffer in harsh conditions.  Thanks be to God for missionary medical workers who are with them, trying their best, to save lives and provide any comfort possible.  It is a horrible virus with painful symptoms and a terrible suffering leading most of the victims to death.

Yet, when I consider the death itself, I am blessed to know how joyous it is for those who die.  But I pray for cures and for people to live.  We are born into this life to fulfill our missions, and mercy and compassion are part of humanity's hope and faith and love.

My grandson had plans for us the other day.  He started off making "Gaga" breakfast in bed, bringing a bowl of cereal, container of yogurt, and some water on a metal pizza pan.  We then walked a ways to pick some berries; his mother wanted some for a recipe she planned with dinner.  As the grandson and I walked, we talked of many things. 

Somehow, the Lord put into my mind the reminder that every step we take, every thought we make, is either a step or thought toward heaven, or a step or thought toward hell.  I shared that with the lad.  He is perceptive and quick.  The next morning I could remind him of it when he woke up "on the wrong side of the bed", so to speak.  He pulled out of a bad mood immediately with the reminder of our choices using our free will given by God.

I have pondered the truth of the choices and each step and thought, as I have slipped too many times to count, with not good thoughts--not thoughts that were taking my mind and soul toward heaven.  I had upsetting and negative thoughts, feeling beaten back and discouraged, criticized, and pre-empted in several circumstances.  Not good!  I have turned a corner, once more, with the reminder of how I can choose steps and thoughts toward heaven in each present moment.

A few mornings ago I decided to meet some people who gather at a coffee place.  They are Methodists, and I decided to cast the nets in the water to see how the encounter might unfold.  I was brought up Methodist, and I know the goodness and Christian values thereof.  There were just three of us, and it was a delightful hour of chatting--nothing intense, nothing spiritual per se, but helpful and encouraging.  I am casting nets to see if His Real Presence is going to put a fish or more in them.

I have pondered St. Paul's mission and his involvement not with the Jews but with the Gentiles.  Perhaps my encounters have become too focused on Catholics alone and have ignored what God may wish of me to be more universal in outreach, or to have my light shine in other directions, too.  I will see how this goes, but for now one hour a week of gentle conversation with kindly people seems a good net.

As for where God has called me,  19 years ago, into the Catholic Church, that has not altered.  But my being accepted in parishes has come to empty nets time and again, of sorts.  I did review the tremendous vision and locution involving Jesus Himself, over two years ago.  He specifically showed me Catholic parishioners, mostly women in the foreground, and they were nastily criticizing, judging wrongly, and rather envious and mocking in tone.  Jesus said specifically that I would be criticized and judged within the Church but I was to pay no attention to them.

I have not done so!  I withdrew to protect myself and also to protect them from continuing the abusive behavior, parish by parish.  It is not easy when one is shunned and not really welcome in deed, even if a priest now and then might say I was welcome.  When one extends peace and love and joy, and it is not returned, Jesus in Scriptures says to take back our peace offered and go on to the next place.  I am praying and discerning this Scripture along with His direct message to me of not paying attention to those Catholics who He said would criticize and misjudge me.

And, He also said I would feel very alone.

However, the hour spent in lovely conversation with other Christians, was positive.  I'm not sure how it would be if they knew I am a Catholic.  Isn't it rather a sad situation that Christians of varying re-formations as well as the many varying parishes in the Catholic Church, the varying rites--can have bias?  There is entirely too much division and fussing, or so it seems.

I have to admit it was quite refreshing to be with people who are not caught up in competition with one another for prestige, position or any power.  Unlike the fearful ones I have encountered, or those who judge me, or even insinuate (such as another hermit does without using my name directly) as to mental illness and other unhealthy morbidity, and of causing scandal to the Church.  This other hermit is rather tricky in ascribing such ills.  This is no doubt just part of what Jesus told me to pay no attention to, but the other, even if not at all accurate, is a contrast to steps toward heaven.

The Methodists with whom I shared a cup of coffee in charitable conversation, were devoid of such silly and nasty aspersions.  I suppose partly this is due to their not having hermit vocations, canon laws, or various spiritual experiences in their "system" in how they function as Christians and as an ecclesial group.  Of course, there are many other differences, and I am not suggesting any better or worse; but it is an observation.  I certainly appreciated the breather from scrutiny, regardless!

In the meantime, a young woman called--she has called before and is by now a spiritual friend.  She expressed how lonely she feels despite being a mother and wife.  Her husband is gone quite a bit.  But she feels a different kind of loneliness and longing, and she had called a priest hoping to be able to talk with him and get some counsel on some issues as well as spiritual situations.  He was too busy.

I suggested we read a book together, across the miles.  I do this with an older woman.  We read a few pages or chapter or two--nothing rushed or too taxing as their schedules are always more full by far than my hermit daily life!  So the young woman and I have chosen Rev. Reginald Garrigou-Lagrange's "Mary the Mother of Our Savior".  Garrigou-Lagrange is a great Dominican theologian, Thomist in background and theory, and was a favorite professor of the late John Paul II--as well as of many who find his writings outstanding.

Yes, I explained to the young woman that from my experience thus far, there are few priests today who have the training from seminary or time with experience in their priesthood, to be able to do much wise counseling or who have the time to do so, when a parishioner calls.  They have perhaps one semester training in counseling from seminary, and about one semester in the spiritual or mystical life, such as doing an overview of Teresa of Avila or John of the Cross in that semester.  Otherwise, they have many courses in administration skills for parishes, and a broad spectrum of other such needs including finances and managing lay staff.

So, I said she will be better served to turn to the time periods in which priests were trained more in the spiritual life and to those who we know long after their deaths were exceptional in their ability to guide souls to union with God.  It is not to blame the current priests or seminaries, but it is the reality of our times.  Thanks be to God these other persons left their writings and wisdom in the ways of the spiritual life, Scripture, mystical life, prayer, virtues and even how to combat the devil in spiritual warfare.

We will see how it all unfolds, our reading.  In the meantime, I have some manual labor and much watering in this drought area, and much praying and pondering to do today.  And perhaps, later, if  not too hot in here when the body needs rest due to the physical pain, I will attempt writing the recovery room and death experiences of 27 years ago.