Christian Catholic Mystic Hermit: Compassion, Mercy, Essential to Love as God Loves

Awoke to thick snowflakes falling like manna from heaven.  Stuck to ground but melted now; very late spring here, and unusual.  I suppose every day and night and how God unfolds them are unusual!

My thoughts have been regarding the importance of compassion, indiscriminate compassion regardless of persons' actions and words, especially when it comes to the usual human decline and the life situations that occur by our errors in judgment, decisions, and wrong-turns from the narrow path.  God always has compassion, no matter what, even if we deserve what we get coming to us, even if we have caused some of our own problems, even if we choose unkindness and a type of ugliness in our lives.

To learn to love to love as God loves, I realize I need this indiscriminate compassion.  I need to have compassion as God has compassion, as this is crucial and indispensable in loving as God loves.  Love requires compassion; love requires mercy. Compassion (mercy) does not condone ugliness, unkindness, evil, wrong word and wrong action or even wrong thoughts; but compassion (mercy) is a form of loving understanding and empathy for all souls (and the persons whose souls are within them.)

Compassion, or mercy, is very difficult particularly if we have been the recipient of ugliness, unkindness, rudeness, wrong thoughts, words, and/or wrong actions.  Compassion or mercy, is most challenging when we read or hear about or are recipients of (even if in being part of the community of humankind) evil. God never fails nor falters in having mercy, or compassion, on even the worst of humankind; of the most vile and vicious of persons He maintains mercy and compassion.

I took time yesterday to ponder various situations, the worst and most heinous of humankind I could fathom and had read about or heard about in my long lifetime.  In each, I came to realize that God had mercy and compassion for these souls and the persons whose souls were or are within. Yes, there are temporal and eternal consequences for those who think, say, and do wrong; but that is not the point.  Having mercy and compassion is the point:  I need to have compassion, to show mercy, without hesitation and for any and all, if I am going to learn how to love as God loves.

Jesus looked over Jerusalem one evening, prior to His being trapped, arrested, brutalized, unfairly tried and convicted, and cruelly crucified,  He overlooked Jerusalem and saw and had seen as God sees--all the persons with their souls, and all the sins and the sins yet to be perpetrated for years and centuries to come.  And the Living Word simply states:  Jesus wept.  Jesus wept due to the compassion and mercy He holds and offers, always, eternally; he has compassion and mercy as part of what it is to love as God Loves, as Jesus Christ is the Son of God and loves as God loves, being God Himself.

I'm practicing and learning to love as God Loves; and now I must also focus on having compassion and offering mercy no matter what others have thought, said, and done in action.  The mercy and compassion I am learning and possess within me, to be released from His Real Presence within me to without of me--this is how I am on my way to learning to love as God Loves.  Nothing is as crucial to me as is now learning to release His compassion within me, His mercy that is within me because I am within His Real Presence and He is within me. This compassion is always with me and able to be released, dispensed, without hesitation, for mercy is His and now also mine, to give without critical review but freely, instantaneously. 

This is the next step in learning to love as God Loves: to recognize and release His mercy and have compassion instantaneously, automatically, for as I am His and He is mine, His mercy and compassion is also mine to give freely and fully, without hesitation or mental deliberation, review, inner conflict.

I must practice this, for my humanness has made me rusty; grace and my cooperation with His grace will remove the rust and create in me a clean heart to see and release mercy and compassion no matter all else no matter who it is I encounter in whatever aspect, including memory of those of the past.

God bless His Real Presence in me!  Love in His Love!

Dear Lord, please keep showing me all the facets and what I must learn to learn to love as You Love!

Letter to the Philippians 2,6-11.

Christ Jesus, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God something to be grasped.
Rather, he emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, coming in human likeness; and found human in appearance,
he humbled himself, becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross.
Because of this, God greatly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bend, of those in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father 

Catholic Hermit, Severe Suffering, Confession

The severe spinal headache continues, off and on and mostly on.

There are life factors involved; the temporal and tangible does affect our bodies, our health.  We must try to cope as best we can when there is tremendous suffering.  Medication does not always work well, and then what?

For such times, when it seems desperate times require desperate measures, when it seems we can no longer pray, we simple "be."

Take whatever pain medications we are blessed to be given, try to continue on with whatever way we might distract ourselves from the intractable pain, and also consider that other aspects affecting our emotions--wounds to the heart--also can contribute.

In that, we remember that Jesus can heal all wounds.  Ask Him to do so.  Ask for strength, for fortitude.  Try to maintain the outer even if the inner is in total chaos and seems near to hopelessness.

Yes, it is quite difficult to take in much rejection, to face disappointments with those who say or do without realizing the effect it has on others.  We can quietly work through these issues, doing our best to seek justice, but also there is the aspect that we ourselves have possibly said or done what has created others to react.  We may not even know exactly; or it could be that our very lives somehow become (or at some point in the past became) too much for others to be able to cope with.

Then, of course, if consecrated to God, if Jesus has consecrated our hearts, we must factor in that this means our lives are not going to be lived via a more typical course.  The wounds are going to come and be felt, and we must let go of the struggle to try to self-correct the course, to try to veer onto some "normal" path--akin to those paths in lives we see around us.

For a consecrated hermit, this is particularly true.  And for a soul whose heart has been wounded by, has been consecrated by Jesus Himself, years ago, the reality of that supernatural experience that had physical and temporal "signs" with it, is well to remember.  It is an experience that is best to be held and turned and viewed in its various facets.

The reality, then, becomes that of "What can you expect?"  Of course there will be tremendous suffering to the point that the heart seems on the verge of breaking.  The physical pain will also throb, and one can wonder at such pain in the head--and then recall another time, perhaps, in which the Lord emphasized to "Think with the heart!"  It helps to make sense of the reality that the head is in such suffering, that it cannot think that well; the heart must think for it.

The world sometimes can present such challenges and obstacles that are so very painful in all their emotional and mental details.  And others can make such hardships and even create obstacles or rules all the more painful when one begs for leniency on some rule or other.  This may be the case, such as in a business entity in the secular world, that it becomes a temptation to do whatever, to say whatever, to simply have justice in some temporal aspect.

One thinks of Jesus and the guys, walking through a field of wheat on the Sabbath.  Hungry, tired (and tired of extreme rules of what one cannot "do" on the Sabbath), they pluck some heads of grain to eat.  Yet they do not involve others in any deception.  They do not fight evil with evil.  It is not evil to eat.  Do we need to fast when the bridegroom is present to us?  He says not.

What does a consecrated hermit, authentically living the life as God's hermit, do when a sin has been committed?  Even in desperation, even if the outcome is just, even if some person in some position in the "world" has caused a wrong, even if in need and something is terribly wrong with a policy and an exception ought to be made for justice's sake, what if an untruth is part of the means to obtain justice in the outcome?

To whom does a hermit turn to confess a sin committed?  If authentically living as a consecrated hermit, a religious eremite, existing in the silence of solitude--to whom is confession and contrition for a sin made?

We make confession to Jesus, to the Bridegroom, here in our presence, here in our cell.  The Lord already knows.  He knows the obstructions, the unyielding and unjustifiable rule that someone in the world made even more severe out of a certain pleasure of power.  The Lord knows the injustice of it, and the desperation and all aspects of the wounded heart and crown-of-thorns head that help derange the mind enough to consider and yield to fighting an evil with another evil.

But, for a consecrated soul, for one whose heart has been consecrated by Christ to Christ, that way of fighting for justice does not settle well.  What has it come to, to do a wrong against a wrong to achieve justice?  Of course, it is a rather minor thing in actuality, and the world is filled with far worse.  Yet a soul consecrated by Jesus Himself, years ago, will go to the Lord in the quiet and solitude of its cell, and will confess and ask for mercy.  

The Lord will determine the judgment, minor as it may be in some ways yet major to a conscientious soul and definitely wrong in the ways of the world's rules of minds no matter how unjustifiable in the particulars of this situation.  The Lord hears and will decide.  The soul's heart will know the decision.  The Lord is kind and merciful, slow to anger and abiding in His love.

Confession for a consecrated hermit, authentically living his vows in silence and solitude, is a holy sacrament available in any present moment.  The confessional is the cell, and that "cell" also may be the consecrated heart which rules over the mind's will, given over in obedience to His Real Presence.  The high priest is Jesus Himself, and absolution and peace is His to bequeath, Sacred Heart to consecrated heart.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Let us love one another for love is of God!

Catholic Hermit: More Yet of God's Law!

I think the Lord is really drilling it into my body, mind, heart, and soul:  God's law of love.  Today, the fourth in the Scripture-Prayer for the longtime friend, miles and miles away in physical distance, covers James' Chapter 4.  Although there are other aspects of which this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit will ponder and write to the friend, later, these verses on God's law, the law of love, the royal law, keep pouring into any crevice in my being.

"Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.  Brothers, do not slander one another.  Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it.  When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it.  There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the One Who Is able to save and destroy.  But you--who are you to judge your neighbor?"

So it is, that amidst the world news, this country's news, this hermit's life in silence of solitude, humility is before us, always.  Humility is not only a virtue and grace; it is a personal choice.  We can cooperate with the gift and the grace, knowing it is out there for us to have and to hold within our beings.  We can desire, pray for, and embrace humility...or not.

St. James in Chapter 4 also asks:  "What is life?"   He then describes life as a "mist"--here for awhile and then gone--evaporated, no longer visible nor viable as mist.

Last evening and this morning I've made a total of ten pounds of Fortitude Fudge.  Half is bourbon infused; yet after it sets up, the bourbon is greatly masked by the rich, dark chocolate.  Perhaps purchasing some bourbon flavoring will help retain the bourbon taste, plus add in the 95 proof bourbon.

A desert storm is upon this hermitage, and this hermit is storming heaven with prayers of love and fortitude for all souls, everywhere, living eternally and those thus far, like you and me, only sampling this segment of life thus far.  We do not have temporal recall of our lives prior to leaving our mothers' wombs; other than, perhaps, when we leave this earth we will realize that our lives prior may be a lot like our lives when we are asleep, and our dreams are akin to experiences prior and after this earthly mist-of-a life.
We will find out, each of us, all of us, as our mist-lives will cease to exist, and yet our souls will progress, one way or another.

All this, to me, is quite humbling.  The reality of from whence we came and to that which we go, and all in between--and to think that speaking against another person and judging him or her, is not living God's law of love.  We violate His law of love when we judge others and speak against one another.

I can think of many times in which I have done this in life.  There is a fine line, it seems, between discerning and judging, or as in reading skills, we call it judging in order to make critical decisions in what we read, in the content, in what the author intends.  

But in all honesty and humility, we truly do know, deep down, the difference between critical, needful judging which can also be termed rightful, judicious discernment and that type of judging that goes against God's law.

It comes down to our intention and the condition of our souls.  Love is the determining factor, and prudence and wisdom help us know for sure what type of judging we are engaging in, as well as if there is a need for discretionary judgment in any given situation or in discerning spirits.

St. James states as Jesus has taught:  Love others as ourselves

Does this mean we do not warn others of some danger or some person who has chosen evil actions?  Does it mean we do not speak out against anger, envy, pride, sloth, greed, lust and any number of vices that we may be tempted by in any present moment?  Does it mean that we allow hate to run rampant, or that we ignore prudence and involve ourselves with people who are not embracing the law of God?

No, the Lord nor His Apostles nor do any of the Scriptures suggest that we stop using wise discretion.  Especially, we are encouraged to discern our own inner and outer lives for any wrong-doings, ill-thoughts--sins!  Toss them out of our daily lives!  Ask the Lord for forgiveness, accept His mercy, and then move on to strive doing better, always.  Love more.

I spoke out to my former bishop and his vicar regarding an ill priest, sinning in ways that were causing dangerous conditions in a parish and diocese.  I spoke out a couple months ago to my spiritual father and to my helper's mother about something quite not healthy of another priest.  I wrote about it in this blog.  I was speaking against another.

One could justify it by saying that one should share with one's spiritual father, all that is in our spiritual lives.  This helps our superiors and directors to better guide our souls.  In this instance, my director said to not return to the parish.  Stay clear.  Lay low.  Pray, make spiritual communions.  

Just the other day when the spiritual father called, he said he is convinced that in time the Lord will end this rather full-on exile; and I will be elsewhere and will attend Mass, perhaps not in a parish but a monastery somewhere.  We shall see.  As James points out in Chapter 4, we do not know if we will be here tomorrow.

Considering speaking to my helper's mother, when she asked me if I was all right, I could have (and I think should have) simply said that I was not feeling well--which was so very true!  I was ill from what my inner sense and soul had experienced during Mass.  I was not yet in conscious nor physical mode of self-control when she followed me outside and asked what was wrong.  I blurted out, and that included speaking honestly about the priest, which was very much speaking against him.

This example is good for me to ponder.  Better to have not said anything about the priest's issues because the bishop knows, the vicar of priests knows, some parishioners know and have left that parish, and those who remain either don't grasp or else they accept and are sufficed.  I had tried to later smooth it over with the helper's mother, but instead perhaps it made things worse.  That can happen sometimes.  Even then perhaps better to not speak any explanation? 

The determining factor needs to be based upon if there is love or not love as the intent.  And that is so very hard to determine when it comes to ourselves, for we do love ourselves and find it difficult to humble ourselves.  (It is far easier when the Lord humbles us, or someone else humbles us in some word or non-word!)  

Using the above example of speaking about the parish priest, and veritably against what he was doing and not doing, the first time of answering the helper's mother inquiry would have been best not spoken or at least not in that instant when not in full control of faculties and not having distance from the situation.  

The second time of speaking to the helper's mother about the situation, I was motivated partly by love.  I can say partly and not fully because I honestly do not know if fully.  I'm guessing not because I know that in any soul, our self love is very strong and our desire to be fully loving may be strong, as well.

Hard to suss out the raw truth, in other words--and that's the truth!  But I know my upset and prayers and continuing prayers and wishes for so much more for the priest and more for what the parishioners could experience in the parish, is genuinely motivated by love and compassion.  

However, I think that some of what I explained, such as the parish seems like a lovely aquarium with beautiful fish, gently swimming and nibbling fish flakes an unseen-to-them-hand sprinkles daily, and existing in controlled setting, not realizing there is an ocean of existence and swimming out into the deep beyond...beyond the glass enclosure of the fish tank--all this was too much to share and even could be insulting to the other who is pleased and proud of the parish and is satisfied.  

In this later conversation, wise discretion and purer love would have left off the fish tank description.  It would have sufficed to have simply said (which I did at first) that my spiritual father has told me not to return, and that I must be obedient to his direction.

Of course, in neither of the two encounters did I intend to hurt others or to speak against my brother (or sister).  I did not intend to judge in a mean-spirited way, or to judge as in the outcome of anyone's soul. Yet I discerned--and could it be that I judged wrongly?--and spoke without filter, the first time and was able to express sorrow for that in the second conversation.

The Lord will determine the truth of this matter, as far as my inmost intention and whether I was judging His Law of Love, or not.  I certainly discerned that there is a priest and parish that is not one nor where I am to be involved other than in prayer for all the best for souls.  To love, and to love to learn to love is my prayer for all of us.

Most of the time in my life--and perhaps if you have read this lengthy sharing you will agree for yourselves--that when I speak against another or judge another, it is when I am upset or tired and lose self-control over thoughts and speech.  Usually it is in situations in which I have held great hopes and loved someone or other very much and then been disappointed in the person/s or situations, and hurt by them as well.

Yes, in another example of which I am thinking, I loved greatly and loyally, and that love was not returned.  There was great hurt and damage done situationally as a result.  While I resolved to not speak against the other person, there were times that in great hurt, frustration, and injustice being done, I did speak against the person.  I spoke against not in love but in anger--even if rather justifiable or righteous indignation.  

The result now is not so positive, or so I do not think.  Those others who heard me were not uplifted by what I shared, even if true enough in what the person had done.  It would have been enough to have known for myself and seen the harsh reality and known for sure that it was best to remain away and clear of that person, and to accept that the other was not acting in love, not someone to be with.

Yes, it seems that when we do speak against others or judge others, even if true enough depiction of the situation or what ails them or what ill-results come of their words and deeds--it is self-control or temperance that is lacking in us.  We speak against others and judge when we do not control our thoughts and words.  When we do not honestly review if what we expose is to the proper persons or even necessary to expose at all, we can end up not fulfilling God's law of love.

In other cases, yes, we need to speak up and warn others who are in a position to deal with the person who perhaps very much needs to be judged and dealt with.  Ultimately, of course, if there is no recourse to be taken, we know that God will judge the person and handle the situation perfectly if not now, later on.  All that is none of our business but is God's.

It is not that once we grasp the reality of not speaking against another and not judging (other than if we are reporting to a superior something quite necessary to sort out) that we will henceforth never err again.  No, the thoughts and the tongue are highly influenced by our bodies and any number of circumstances that can weaken our resolve.

I guess that is why there is forgiveness and mercy, and our being given the gift of prayer so that we can ask once more to be given yet another chance to sin no more.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another and remain in His Love!

Catholic Hermit: The Royal Law

Sometimes doesn't it seem as if His Real Presence truly knows exactly what we need?  Of course He does--but sometimes it seems so very real, so actual, so lived!

A long-time friend (Protestant) celebrated a birthday the other day.  We keep in touch with a birthday note and a Christmas letter.  Otherwise, the friendship rolls along, year after year, without knowing details of our lives other than the twice-yearly, usually brief, correspondence.  

Increasingly, it seems this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit is closer than ever to whoever comes to mind.  Thus, it seems as if there has been more personal contact than what is the temporal reality.  So I decided to call this friend on her birthday and ask for her email address; I wanted to do a Scriptural Prayer-Gift in honor of her life.  What book of the Bible would she like?

James.

So, each day I'm reading a chapter of James and reflecting upon the content of the verses.  I pray for insights from the Holy Spirit so as to email the friend, each day, in what ways the Word of God through James represents her life.

Today I read the second chapter of James in honor of this marvelous Christian friend.  Lo and behold, there it is again:  God's law of which St. Paul writes in Romans is the "fulfillment of the law" and above all other laws:  God's law of love.  Love God.  Love others.

Here it is, written by the Apostle James.  He calls God's law "the royal law."

"If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, 'Love your neighbor as yourself,' you are doing right."

Then a few verses later in chapter two, he writes further regarding being judged by this law and describes it as the law that gives freedom.  In what way? With mercy--and James explains that  freedom occurs when mercy triumphs over judgment.

"Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful.  Mercy triumphs over judgment!"

There is much more to the second chapter of James.  The Apostle demonstrates, also, that faith is revealed through what one enacts that demonstrates a lived faith.  If we say we have faith but do not live God's royal law, the law of love of others, then faith is not substantiated.  And consider the truth that mercy always wins, over judgment.  Be merciful to others.  Triumph in mercy.

When my spiritual father called this afternoon--and such a loving surprise--we discussed the seemingly recent, repetitive lessons from Scripture regarding the law and which law is supreme (and simply so) over all other laws:  God's law of love, the "royal law."

We can't go wrong if we adopt the royal law and if we live it.  Yes, if we truly love our neighbor as ourselves, we will be "doing right".

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another!  Let us embrace fully God's royal law and do right!

Warning and Blessing: Detraction

Detraction of others in any shape or form is a pernicious sin.  Like pine gum on the fingers, removing detraction from one's thoughts, words, and actions requires more than soap and water.

Detraction belittles, denigrates, lessens, smears, puts down, besmirches, diminishes, deprecates, depreciates, condemns, mocks, disparages, slanders, libels, and bullies others.  Most often, the poison of detraction trickles or erupts from anger, envy and malicious criticism.  Detraction serves to lower another's self-esteem and standing as a person among peers, as a child of God.

Wrongful judging occurs in detraction.  Rightful judging is that which derives from thoughtful observation, wise and holy discernment, by those whose position is to rightfully judge.  The intent of rightful judging is to discover truth and desire justice.  There are few occasions other than in the legal profession, in which we are likely to be called upon to rightfully judge.

Discernment is more a personal matter of which we are to make critical judgments regarding ourselves, our actions, our thoughts.  Discernment of self is necessary for spiritual growth; discernment of others is not so necessary.  If we honestly discern our own thoughts, words, and actions, we will have enough information to make changes in our lives. Self-discernment, thus, will replace the temptation to deceive ourselves that we are only "discerning" others, when in fact we slip into judging them.

For example, a young man came to do some plumbing when this hermit was yet ill.  He ruined some plumbing parts, made vital errors in placement of holes for pipes, and misspoke about code.  The hermit detracted the young man by discussing his wrong-doings with others, as well as slipped into anger over the wages paid and costs to replace parts and redo the project.

Holy discernment would have provided the hermit with all the truth it needed--without detraction of the plumber.  Had this hermit privately recognized the young man's errors, that would have been enough to know what actions to take in remedying the plumbing.  If the errors had amounted to great sums, there is legal recourse via the law of the land.  In this situation, prayer for the young man, privately letting him know he had erred, and giving him opportunity to make right his wrongs, is the correct course of action--not detraction.

A key element in rightful judging and wise discernment is factual truths and what we do with factual truths.  If the facts upon which we base our judging and discerning are not true but more our opinions, then we slip into wrongful judging and wrong discernment.  We next can slide on and into detraction if we think, write, or speak based upon our inaccurate facts or upon our opinions.

Jesus is clear on how to avoid the sin of detraction (which does include wrongful judging--and best to avoid judging unless by profession a judge in the land's justice system!).

"Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
Stop judging and you will not be judged.
Stop condemning and you will not be condemned.
Forgive and you will be forgiven.
Give and gifts will be given to you;
       a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and                overflowing, will be poured into your lap.
For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you"  (Luke 6:36-38).

[Yesterday while consolidating grains of rice from one container into another, the marvelous image of a good measure came clear.  While pouring the rice it seemed the canister could not possibly hold all the grains.  The nothing Catholic hermit tamped the rice, shook it down, and what seemed impossible for the canister to hold, poured in with space remaining!  How pictorially metaphoric, Jesus' words!]

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another!  Refrain from any temptation to detract others. Let our judging and discerning be of ourselves, for therein is the greatest opportunity for growth--and blessed gifts--of remaining in His Love!

If Today You Hear His Voice

...harden not your hearts.

There is always a potential...and then a possible response, an action in reaction.

Today, Ash Wednesday 2015, the nothing Catholic hermit appreciated a phone book discussion and ensuing conversation with a young friend--wife and mother of two with a third on the way.  She has blossomed spiritually, grown in leaps and bounds in just the past few months!  The Catholic hermit is so proud of her--and this nothing has no reason for pride other than a deep joy in seeing another soul responding to the graces of His Real Presence.

She heard His voice, essentially in various ways, and she did not harden her heart.  She used her God-given will and made some choices, and she acted on the good of what He desired of her...and succeeded.  How her life has changed!  Anger has come under control and mostly wiped away as soon as it surfaces.  She has learned how to discern her dreams (His voice in images and scenes given her subconscious in sleep), and then moved on after gleaning any valid lessons requiring action or reaction on her part and tossing any demonic trash into the do-not-recall bin.

She is living more and more in the present moment and blooming where she is planted.  Previously, she longed for her husband to get an assignment elsewhere, never settling fully in nor fitting in with those in the area.  Why?  There are many reasons which we had discussed over time, but the outcome is she softened her heart and listened and made changes in her attitude.  She grasped her vocation as wife and mother and started to see the honor in it, as well as the inspiring challenges for growth in the virtues, day by day and night by night.

She let go of the past memories that haunted her of her childhood and the perceived lacks therein. She let go of apologizing for herself and feeling inadequate, or in carrying a great deal of unnecessary guilt (something that some Catholic parents train into the children by innocent error of a mistype of tradition, creating an element of fear and control that can be misplaced later on).  

She also kept to her spiritual reading--the classics of great saints as well as to making offerings of the mundanity of diapers and dishes.  Rather than reacting in hurt to other women's not including her, she began to reach out to the one woman she might notice who also was not included.  She started to create her own group or spiritual opportunity even if she was the only member, or just one other. 

(For this young woman is a soul beyond what a bulk of women may find relevant and necessary, not to their fault necessarily; she simply is more a contemplative and most likely also born a mystic. Through numerous conversations, working with her prayers and dreams, being open to being called out on some issues, she started to listen and understand and to accept that her path is valid, too).

She heard His voice in so many ways that He speaks to us!  And she hardened not her heart.  What a gift of inspiration to others, and how much more peaceful her life!  Faith has increased beyond measure.  It kind of grew quietly, all this change, and today the nothing Catholic hermit could not contain the joy and gratitude for what an inspiration she is to this soul who happens to be facing a sense of backsliding and faltering, of weakness in will, and lack of discipline in focus, or so it seems.

We have selected another book to read "together" for our weekly phone discussion.  Since this Catholic hermit has been so seriously ill for awhile, she has been kindly in postponing, so patiently.
Today nothing Catholic hermit, in the course of our discussion of sin and redemption, shared some deeply personal experiences of great falls from grace in ways that a person would obviously know were not good, but to learn just how weak the soul can be and how great is His Real Presence to allow some terrible falls in sin, yet bring such amazing, life-changing lessons that are never then forgotten.  He is so merciful!  

The young woman seemed to appreciate the candor and was probably stunned, and we laughed to think that this Catholic hermit has come through some awful sins and still, last night, slipped on something so little yet so ridiculously unnecessary.  The penance it gave itself was to purchase a copy of our next reading selection for the young woman, despite its own finances being not good these days.  But it sold a pair of boots last night, and in that transaction was part of the ridiculous slip-up.  

My, how easy it is to sin, when one would think we'd get old enough and seasoned to avoid even the near occasion of sin!  No!  The Lord ever humbles us as He watches His children, especially the old ones, do something stupid and wrong--even realizing they are doing it but either too tired or too miffed to stop it right then and there.  So forgiveness asked immediately of His Real Presence, and mercy granted even though the sting lasted a bit into the night.  

No, 'twas time to put it immediately behind, for dwelling on a slip or fall after it has been forgiven, only leads to a kind of pride in over-thinking one's actions, or the tendency to be too upset at having sinned...as if we are too great and spiritually mature to have slipped up.  Better to chuckle and remind oneself that even as we get old, we can tend to falter just as our bones grow physically unsteady.  We are never free from error until our last breath.

It is Ash Wednesday.  The nothing Catholic hermit made no grand plans for giving up this or that food or anything else.  It did not even bother leaning on the crutch of being still sick and qualifying as old for any Church law exemption.  Rather, nothing Catholic hermit  hardened not its heart and realized His Real Presence will bring the opportunities for sacrifice, for penance, for listening and reacting and changing its ways to whatever God brings to the conversion table.

Yesterday, even though with an encouraging bit of energy enough to launder the bed linens, weed a bit in the sun and breathe fresh air, and then make some simple chili from a packaged soup mix, there started in the thoughts of how it might be able to stay on here in this hermitage, after all.  So ideas started to pump up the enthusiasm, and the hermit got some encouragement from a long-time friend--until it realized the chronic pain and lack of physical consistency would make the idea not so stable, and research of like enterprises in the area showed the competition to be rather stiff.

Nothing Catholic hermit cannot compete with the wealthy who do such ventures as hobbyists, or the young, or the able-bodied, or those with spouses to help with the efforts.  It is still out there as a possibility, but even though the long-time friend said just lower the price and business will happen--the potentials for the inconsistent and unannounced pain sieges or other blights could be disastrous with the particular idea to gain some needed income in order to remain.

Too much distraction in seeking ways to have it easier, to not have to pick up and go again, to have to detach totally from the remainder of the gardens and have some kind of enjoyment of the area and place instead of the heaviness of so much manual labor and hardship and expense since arrival here nearly two years ago!  How can one hear His voice today or any day (or night), if the mind--if not the heart--is hardened to what it thinks might be easier or even better than what seems to be the unavoidable?  

So this nothing Catholic hermit must silence the various ideas that start to jangle about in the mind--ways to remain despite the financial odds, or also ways to create a bit of hope and impetus to get back to the hard work ahead in order to finish the place in order to have it salable.  The mind must listen for His voice will speak in some way, shape, or form, in the day and in the night, sooner or later and most likely sooner.  

Silence is His voice, too, we realize.  Just silence of His Breath, of His Peace, of His Love, of His Mercy.  The heart must not be hardened by the weight of our heavy concerns nor by our fears of what is next even if we suspect it is going to mean more lessons, more suffering--for suffering and love always go together to bring about the best for our sanctification.  And the suffering can be sweet.  His Voice is in the suffering and sometimes more clear then than in seeming temporal success or happiness.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another!  Remain in His Love! Listen in His Love, and He will speak; and our hearts will soften to His plans for us no matter what.

Love and Service

The pain is lifting some, although it never goes away.  It is all good, for the body rests while the mind, heart and soul rest in His Real Presence and gain perspective, refreshment.

Have written to some spiritual friends, some thoughts, and answers to some of their questions, and gratitude for some of their marvelous insights.

Reflected upon the spiritual father reminding that the family members have their own issues and troubles, their relationships and lives to address.  Yes, this is so.

Today was also reminded of some times in which this nothing had not been so thoughtful of its own mother.  Wept and apologized, soul to soul, today at one point.  It is a blessing to weep in remorse and to know the other hears and grasps, forgives and loves for where the other is, is more light than what we here experience on any given day.  Jesus has mercy!

Later shared e-laughter with a message to a friend of 53 years whose insights are cherished.  Christianity and lives lived are a good basis for encouraging one another.  The friend emailed that am well experienced with handling pain of all types.  This nothing responded that we in our lives had our years, our times and places, to become adults, to be spouses, parents, friends and to do it in the way that seemed right to us then.  

Did we ever criticize or think our parents were not quite as trendy or adept as us, when we were in our pride-stride in our twenties and thirties--healthy, privileged, successful, good-looking, educated, and surely (in our minds) wise beyond our years?  This nothing certainly did, mostly in reaction to things said, or in thoughts.  Ah, how smart we were...not.

Well, we each--the friend and this nothing--had our physical health compromised about the same time.  The friend through a stress-related, debilitating virus that affected immune system, heart, and left chronic pain and fatigue.  The nothing through a debilitating car accident, divorce, surgeries from which there was no return to life in the world and career and with children as it had been.  We were in our early thirties.  Mercifully, we were humbled and saved some of the finding our places, climbing the world's ladder.

But yes, this nothing recognizes that others who criticize and snap at times, are signaling they need more space, or that they have stressed, or that they have desires for their own lives that have to do with their peers, and others who are in their current places of career and parenting and being wives and husbands.  It is all understandable.  And this nothing's role is to love unconditionally and to pray and to serve--this latter when asked and when wise and prudent to do so.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, as we are all little children; and let us love God, for He Is Love.

Hermit Vocation Emphasis, Perspective

Do hermits have emphasis on their eremitic "vocation" at the forefront of their daily lives?  In other words, do they identify consciously with the temporal trappings of what is or is not a "hermit"?

This nothing Catholic hermit wonders.  Probably not in the majority of consecrated religious eremitics out there, and definitely not in this hermit.  The posts that it dislikes the most, in writing, actually, are those dealing with hermit-this and hermit-that--wrangling and hair-splitting over temporal rules, status, titles, designations.

Yearly in this nothing's life, there is the renewal of the consecration as a religious eremitic, a Catholic one, at that. Some posts of the distant past explain all that, even give the vows this hermit made, and the setting.  And, there has been discussion of the more temporal aspects of hermit life, in the blog writing.

But the predominate desire of emphasis and perspective of this hermit--this soul--is what would be of any aspirant to union with His Real Presence.  We love and seek God; we strive in whatever ways and hope in all ways, to climb the stairway to heaven, to come to any closer grasp of spiritual perfection and union with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

The conscious awareness of hermit is more like an undercurrent, or the overcast of the sky.  It is there, but it is not the emphasis in temporal details of hermit this or that.  In fact, being a hermit rarely comes to conscious mind in this nothing Catholic hermit.

What comes to mind is the rule of life, which for this nothing is the Gospel Rule, with the Nine S' as platform and outflow of the Gospels. as applied to daily and nightly existence. Action, thought, words, being: Life in Christ.  

[Nine S': silence, solitude, slowness, suffering, selflessness, simplicity, stillness, stability, serenity.]

This soul's temporal and spiritual days and nights are filled with the trials, obstacles, joys, and  lessons--the interactions, loves, virtues, vices--that are part of the human condition. Hopefully increasingly numbers of souls actively engage with religious desire and spiritual aspiration of the sublime goal:  Love of God and love of others.  

This starkly simple goal has oodles of threads woven into the making, however.  And it is spinning and weaving those threads, working on the fabric of our existence with His Real Presence, God-Is-Love, as focus, which fills the present moments that unfold in making up a lifetime of being, no matter how short or long that earthly lifetime may be.

Only God is forever; and aspiring souls recognize that this temporal lifetime is our soul school, with extended coursework available in what may be termed "purgatory." Our goal, our emphasis, our perspective as souls (more than vocation designation) for those of us desiring God is not best served by much attachment to the title of a vocation.  Nor do numerous, conscious considerations that can distract or lead into vices such as pride, envy, or even gluttony help us in the temporal-spiritual ascent (eg. glut on legalisms and tedium of details not necessary for the freedom of soul to ascend the spiritual).

Whatever, but this soul here, this nothing-I-and-He-Is-All, does not much consciously dwell on being a "hermit."  It just lives as any soul would live out his or her existence in Christ, knowing the emphasis and perspective is that of being a soul in love with His Real Presence--breathing, functioning, and aspiring along with all the souls in the Body of Christ.  We are embraced by and abide in His Love.  Remain in My Love, Jesus tells us.

True, there is a certain ennui and yet conflict, having a blog titled A Catholic Hermit, and of being nothing and yet titling the writing effort with the clarifiers Catholic and Hermit.   Seems like this is about the only time this nothing sees the labels.  Hopefully not often does it dip back into the conscious and temporal debate of what makes a valid or invalid hermit in the eyes of society or the Church.  May the writing be Christ and our souls' spiritual work and progression lived out in this beautiful life and world we are given to learn to love God and others.  And may the writing include thoughts of other souls who happened to live and share in writing or otherwise, who happened to also be consecrated eremitics, Catholic or Orthodox or whatever branch of His Real Presence as Head of the Body, the Church.  
Yes, it is all right to have interest in and learn from souls who shared and share a calling, a path.  Writing about the earthly titles, designations, status of hermit in the eyes of man does not need on-going explanation or debate.  For the temporal is always passing away, and there are as many types of hermits as hermits themselves.  We cannot lasso or type-cast, and that is why the Church's designation of such as the eremitic vocation is clearly simple and vast, both.  Beyond temporal, it is spiritual--even mystical--in the vastness.  

It is of souls in bodies, growing into and through the spiritual vastness by ascending the temporal to the divine, that is of interest to this hermit, a catholic hermit, a consecrated religious, a soul, a nothing-in-God-Is-All.

This nothing's heart sings when the thoughts, readings, writings, and living go above and beyond the debate over what well-intentioned and even Godly people have decided over the years as to rules and protocols of a vocational designation.  

The fundamentals are in the Catechism; the Canon Laws contain additional words which may be revised in later years by those who determine such matters desire and decide.  None of that will determine if a soul will have union with God, however, or will ensure the hermit soul or whoever will attain to purity of love of God and love others.  (Marriage vows are straightforward even if people now distort the natural purpose and order.)  

Stripped before God or man, we are all "just" souls. Now, marvel on that, for instance!  Souls~! Souls created by our Heavenly Father who loves us beyond our comprehension, who forgives us and has mercy without measure!

Have mercy on us all.  God bless His Real Presence in us, dear children, and let us love God and love one another.