Catholic Hermit: The Seven Deadly Sins

"Repent, therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be wiped away" (Acts 3:19).

Did a little review of some good ol' moral theology.  Here's the easy, go-to-list of the seven deadly sins (not that the consequences of sin and various wrong-doings are "easy"):

pride
greed
lust
envy
gluttony
wrath
sloth

Consider these words as rather vast categories; expand their breadth to visage, image, expansive multi-facets.

Then consolidate down to personal-riveting drill bit, torqued, and battery charged.

As is stated, "These sins are often thought to be abuses or excessive versions of one's natural faculties or passions."

Over the centuries, the Catholic Church (persons therein, such as theologians and spiritual thinkers, inspired, and teacher-writers) categorize sins as mortal and venial.  Mankind seeks order and understanding; we are more secure with reason.  We want a sense of things temporally, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. 

Mortal sin's gravity is tested by whether or not the act itself is intrinsically evil and immoral.  A benchmark for gravity is that the person must know that what they are doing or planning to do is evil and immoral.  Another gauge is deliberate consent: the person must freely choose to commit the act or plan to do it.

Mortal sins imperil our souls, and venial sins complicate ours and others' lives as they are still wrongs done but less serious breaches of God's law.  Of course, determining the categories and breadths and depths and impact and consequences to our lives, others' lives,  and ultimately, most importantly to others' souls and our souls requires discernment and "judgment."  This judgment is that requiring critical thinking skills and wisdom, ability to discern right from wrong but also have perspective as to particulars, details, mitigating or aggravating circumstances, and numerous other considerations.

Conscience comes into play in determining if our actions are sins or not, and if so, what "value" ascribed such as grave or less serious; a person needs a well-formed conscience and a degree of mental capacity to be able to judge one's own actions and thoughts.  Or we need to find someone with a keen conscience, mind, and strong levels of the virtues in order to help us judge, discern, decipher what we have done if we are unable to see for ourselves.  In fact, it is often a great spiritual benefit to have another person adept in discerning and making wise judgment to help us sift through our thoughts and actions when we have caused harm to others and ourselves even in the slightest of ways.

I'm not writing here of becoming scrupulous--to nit-pick over ourselves to the degree of narcissistic morbidity which is on flip side self-love gone awry to finding a perverse type pleasure in agonizing over every thought and action we make daily and often nightly.  

However, there are times when our thoughts (less often) and our actions (more easily noticed due to external aspects and of which other people see or are affected by our wrong doings, our sins) are not so easily detected for us to discern and judge and make correction.    This is true especially when an emotion of sorrow, shock, anger, or other such feeling enters; emotion seems to be a trigger point for committing wrongs, and emotion likewise seems to be what masks our wrong doings from ourselves and also can tempt us in providing ourselves with excuses for what wrongs we've done.

I'm trying to refrain from examples for they will come from my own lived experience that involves others.  However, please think of the above statements, and I also think examples will come to mind.  Or, I can use myself in a recent re-reckoning of a sin I committed in writing of a situation and the persons in it.  I did not intend to cause hurt, at least not consciously.  In self-examining, I cannot say that even subconsciously I intended or wanted to hurt anyone.  

However, I felt shock in something I had to face regarding others and the situation; I had great sorrow in each persons' lives; I had frustration in that my previous attempts to try to bring reason and logic to one of the persons was not going to get through or bring about change; and I had outrage and anger in the effects of behaviors of one upon the other.  So I turned to writing about the situation and my means of trying to work through my own issues in trying to digest and let go of it, through spiritual means.

I also had verbalized to another and even I think another who knew nothing of the persons involved, but listened to my upset, concerns, frustration, and inability to bring about change when it was getting to a point that one person was going to be further at risk.  I could have taken action in calling upon professional intervention, but the situation was such that it would not be easily discernible what was evolving and had for a long time.  So I prayed, but my own impatience and emotion, hindered my self-control from verbalizing which I did in writing.  

Even if anonymous, someone read it who found it or else one who alerted the subject read it, and thus the person of half of the situation was deeply hurt, and hurt then causes anger, upset, outrage and actions.  So wrong doings, sins even if venial which include lack of wise discretion, lack of ultimate faith in silently leaving the situation with God, causes the person who is in a situation of upset and wrong, then also makes choices in reacting to being essentially accused of doing wrong, even if the person has aspects of issues in which cannot see the wrongs, the rejection, the whatever that in turn has harmed a situation which was the basis of the whole mess to begin with. 

So we see by my even trying to give an example of the ways of sins (venial sins in this case although the one hurt might think it a mortal wounding) that examples become complex, yet the ultimate reality that surfaces after writing or reading the ins-and-outs of the ripple effect of errors, mistakes, wrongs, sins--is that of a mess of chaos.  

And for those (and we all have degrees of this in us) whose modus is needing to have control over situations, others, and life itself, the result of wrong doings no matter the impetus that gets the ball rolling, is that there is loss of control.  The result is loss of peace inner and outer, loss of control over reconciliation, loss of future outcome as sin is very much a riveter of usually bringing the past alive in the present moment in order to try to eradicate it.

On a more concrete note here, a bit more on venial sins....  Venial sins tend to follow along one or two of the same conditions met in mortal sins.  The thought or action is immoral or intrinsically evil; there is full knowledge of these; there is full consent to knowingly commit the wrong, the sin.  So venial sins are minor violations of moral law.  

Venial sins weak the soul but do not kill the grace within the soul.  But venial sins weaken our inner strength and purity of thought and emotion--of soul.  Venial sins--infractions showing our weaknesses in one or more virtues--cause more venial sins in ourselves and in the ones seeing, knowing of, or experiencing the effects of our infractions and weaknesses.  This is the ripple effect of wrong thought and wrong action.  

Our venial sins can cause reaction in others that tempts them to not only their own venial sins in reaction but to mortal sin depending upon how they are affected by even the most minor of sin on our part.  Bullying is one such venial sin that can result in the recipient committing not only venial sin of anger, but can also cause the recipient to act on that anger either toward mortal or grave sin against others or more likely, on themselves.

There are volumes that could be, and indeed are, written about morality in the sense of study of God, or theology, and of sin--mortal and venial, of the consideration of virtues and vices, of mitigating conditions, of discernment and judgment, of consequences, examination of conscience, spiritual guidance, confession, forgiveness given and forgiveness received, forgiveness accepted or rejected.


We can even begin to grasp that such as our own wrong doing--mortal or venial sin--can be a result of someone else's wrong whether or not the persons grasp or are psychologically able to grasp, or of situations from years past and what might trigger us to react in a way that we lose virtue and commit sin whether venial or mortal.  (The labels are simply for our ease in analysis and learning with the goal of understanding and correction over time, in our lives.)

Yet we must not fall to the temptation of recognizing that what we may have done that was wrong and hurtful, was a reaction to what others had done or persisted in that was wrong and hurtful, or that what we or others were doing or thinking that was a later-on reaction from others' actions or ways of being years before, of which the behaviors and thoughts and ways of doing and thinking triggered or in part caused or affected the wrongs or sins later in life.

When sin is involved, no matter if we consider it an error or lapse, a mistake, or a sin of grave matter--we must stop ourselves dead in our tracks and not get into excuses for ourselves.  We cannot analyze nor go through examination of conscience for others; that is not our due process unless asked or employed in that line of work.  We can reason the various aspects and conditions when examining ourselves and what it might have been that triggered our thoughts and caused us to act or speak or write wrongly, or why we harmed others, if we intended to or not.  

When our sins, our wrongs, our vices are involved, we must remain in the present moment and humbly embrace our mea culpa!  I have sinned against my brother and sister, against myself, and against God through my own fault, my own fault, my own most grievous fault.

Once we express our remorse and sorrow to those we've hurt or wronged, whether or not the other is able to forgive or also even be able to forget to some degree or other, or for other/s to ask that question of if there is some aspect in myself or themselves that reflects in any particle the wrong, the sin, the other/s committed--we must pick ourselves up and move on with the prayer and resolve to actively work on changing the vices we have and also changing the conditions in which we are tempted to sin. A bully needs to stop bullying as much as the bullied will want to avoid the bully. A spouse who had proven unfaithful will need to either stop the infidelity or accept the wounded spouse will need to decide if can risk further wrongs or can forgive and continue on, or if the unfaithful spouse is being unfaithful due to factors that both are not willing to change.

On another similar but very venial level, someone emailed of upset with returning to a parish FB site and finding inner feelings of unrest and of critical resentment or perhaps more it was boredom in noticing the same persons were yet unable to grasp that faith in God can be of spirit and within.  The women were yet clinging to externals of faith, much as Mary Magdalen tried to hold onto Jesus who said "Do not touch me!  I have resurrected!  I am with you always in spirit and truth!"  

Those on the FB site wrote  of  clinging to such as church bells ringing and their needing to drive in to listen to them as an external show of piety or religious fervor since in our time of COVID-19 pandemic and stay-at-home orders no one is to gather, and gather places are to remain closed.  They were going into the church building, with photos posted of the pews roped off other than a small area in which people were to sit for the youngish priest continues to ask them to come and pray.

The person emailing felt guilty for the inner feelings of disagreeing and of sense of passing judgment. Was it wrong?  This is an example of emotions and feelings helping us to discern, and to stop the emotions before taking action such as trying to explain to the FB persons about the kingdom of God is within, and that Jesus is not the church bells, not the sounds of ringing; Jesus is not wanting them to come in and risk getting the virus nor of taking it home to their families; jesus is not lonely for Jesus is through, with, and in us wherever  we are.  No--the person had already tried to explain and comment was censored, was removed, and the posters went on the attack of that person.

The feelings of resentment and some anger were signals that the person had graduated from the level the FB parishioners were yet in soul school.  When we graduate from one grade to the next in school, or when we take a new course in college, do we continue to remain in the previous grade or with those in certain courses when we are to move on to other courses?  No! So do not cling to where others are in their lives when we have been moved on.  And this can be a necessary aspect to ponder and pray about when we have committed a wrong or a sin, or are tempted to in thought before we commit a deed.

The late country singer Kenny Rogers had a well-known hit single titled "The Gambler." A line we may be familiar with is due to the value of the simple, applicable truth-to-life inherent:  

"You've got to know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away,
Know when to run...."

Often in our lives, when we are faced with temptation to sin, venial especially, or when our virtues are being challenged by the vices we try to keep in check, we need to consider the situation and thoughts we are experiencing, living in, facing.  Or if we have already committed wrongs--sins venial or mortal--and look at "the cards in our hands, the cards we are dealt or picked up ourselves, current and of what aspects of past included.  Determine what to do with "the cards"--keep playing, or fold them.  Continue in the situation, or know the time has come to walk away either in the instant for a few moments, day, or let the consequences unfold and play out.  And in some cases, we need to know to run away from further complications that tempt us to sin in thought, word, and deed.

I advised the person emailing wanting to know if was sin--the person's feelings and thoughts toward what was being written on that FB site--to consider if there was anything the person was benefitting in drawing closer to God, or in further spiritual growth by what was being written?  Why was the person having feelings of unrest and some critical frustration within?  Could it be that it is a simple matter of the person having grown some, or that over time the person's faith had evolved and was a simple matter of time to go forth and have leave-taking of those who are not growing in the same ways or time frame?

Avoidance of occasion of sin, deadly or harmful (for the person who is recipient of our sins might feel it was deadly and killed some part of them, and the person doing the wrong in thought or action can lose a hunk of inner life, very much so, in committing sin)--is a major factor in the spiritual life.  We literally need to be open to learning to play the game of the soul's life in Christ.  We have to learn the rules of charity but also in that charity to know the rule of spiritual detachment to our will and of doing what is best for others and ourselves in avoiding occasions of sin.  

Sometimes it is God's will that we remain in circumstances, situations, relationships, and sometimes God's best and will to graciously have a leave-taking knowing that we never "leave" nor are the others or a situation "left" in a vacuum.  When there is a leaving, at the same time there is a going to or a coming; and that means for all involved.  Releasing means also reforming, re-entering, re-giving.

This has been an especially long post.  I have yet more to write regarding my hermit vocation, of the circumstances of the individuality of variety of hermit experience and ways the Lord forms the unique vocations based upon the unique circumstances as well, very much, as the variety of souls.
Perhaps more on that topic, but for now I'm still having trouble motivating myself to rise from the bed-tomb, despite this now the third day of First Week of Easter and the New Life.

God bless His Real Presence in us!

[I've enlarged my type font due to my eyes weakening with age!  Reality therapy!]

Catholic Hermit Prays to Put on Love

Well, wonders never cease.  The Lord has shown my impatience, on the one hand.  Yet it was probably my Christmas Eve phone message to the parish administrator, promising my prayers for her and her family,  my apology for popping off previously, over frustrations, and then I mentioned the couple who was to bring Communion had never made contact, but it was all right.

Four days later I received a phone message--from the woman of the couple who said they'd bring Communion!  I waited awhile to pray and consider before returning the call.  As it turns out, the woman had a bad cold the past month; and perhaps, I consider, she did not know I had been told they would contact me, thus no phone call explaining she had a horrible cold.

It was a good experience, though, for a lot of pain and upset of the past erupted on Christmas Day.  I grieved what had transpired in my Catholic existence over the years, much of it painful.  Yet the spiritual growth also brings with it, fruit.  There is even fruit in recognizing how painful can be the spiritual journey and the stretching that occurs, also, in seeking intently after Christ.  Some lives have a lot of suffering; and the eremitic vocation is not easy at times, either.

Before returning the woman's phone call, I determined to stick with the truth of my situation.  She had already been told some, and that telling, my couple of spiritual friends and I felt, would make the couple wary--and thus my assuming they were not going to be in contact.  So in the conversation, I mentioned this with humor, and I also honestly mentioned that I hope somehow the couple bringing me Communion will be the beginning of some healing and grace of courage to once again attempt Mass in the parish.  

It just seems to me that if parishioners and priests can get over what may seem an odd phenomenon, or resist judging that it is something other, and be pleasant, get to know one another at a simple level of trust and kindness and humor, we will all be better off.

Yet, I am still quite interested in researching and writing about the treatment of mystics in the Catholic Church.  When did the harshness begin?  What are some of the hypotheses as to why the practice of scrutiny and being the devil's advocate began in the first place?  Why have Catholics continued with the hurtful practice, even if they have ceased physically killing the persons who are spiritually sensitive and different?  Does such treatment of mystics occur in the Eastern Church or in other rites within the Western Church?

The couple plans to bring Holy Communion on Sunday morning after they go to the early Mass.  She said they will see how it goes.  Yes, I will, also; yet my hopes are raised high but with the reminder to self that if the outcome is not as I wish, that I will not react with upset or hurt but will try to be patient and trusting in the Lord Jesus to show me His path forward.

Yes, I emailed the couple of spiritual friends as well as Fr. V., to mention my impatience proved me wrong in this, and the couple is willing to come, and will come, God-willing and provided no obstacles in their way this Sunday.  At least the woman knows my hopes, and I continued on with truthful disclosure for I at one point thought if I ever would attempt another parish, I would be better off lying and just saying I had narcolepsy.  At least then, their might be pity rather than scrutiny.  

But not telling the truth is never right, of course!  It was at least an ironic thought--to lie in order to be accepted and not shunned, in church!  Deceive priests and parishioners in order to avoid persecution. Much better to express truth and pray to move beyond the minor but admittedly kind of rare obstacle.

The optional first reading for today, the Solemnity of the Holy Family, contains excellent advice--prudent and wise counsel!  May I take it to heart and pray to put on each attribute with great faith that as you, dear readers, we are all God's chosen ones, holy and beloved.  I had better once again pray to forgive those with whom I have grievances.  

Most of them would not have given it another thought--that there might be grievances against them, in my thoughts, for their behaviors and reactions toward one insignificant and easily forgotten person.  Yet I remember, and remember far too much and to a negative degree.  Forgiveness on my part is crucial for healing and health.  I am considering going to sacramental confession--that only--but first am making contrition to His Real Presence in my heart, mind, and soul.

Since the surprise phone call, I have been better able to focus on manual labor.  A closet is framed and part of another; some additional drywall is installed; and I am tediously scraping 104-year-old painted newspapers from a wood ceiling upstairs and removing numerous tacks from that ceiling so that more tongue-in-groove ceiling wood can be nailed in properly.  

(Amazing how some old paper and little tack heads make installing tongue-and-groove difficult simply from the added bit of obstacle.  So it is with my thoughts, emotions, and spirit when there are bits of vices poking and prodding and prohibiting smooth progress toward, through, with, and in Christ Jesus!)

Ah, this bit of Living Word from Colossians 3 fuels my desires for loving Christ all the more, for striving once again to put on love: the bond of perfection!  There is much I must pray to have altered in my life, though; it will take effort and diligence on my part to practice more and more, the virtues and stave off the vices.

"Brothers and sisters:
Put on, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved,
heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience,
bearing with one another and forgiving one another,
if one has a grievance against another;
as the Lord has forgiven you, so must you also do.
And over all these put on love,
that is, the bond of perfection."

Catholic Hermit Ponders Perseverance

Well, for a few days this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit has been on the mattress more than not, at least not able to get up until noon.  Just way too much pain going on in the body, with the addition of allergies lending to the admixture of fatigue and sufferings.  

However, I do get up.  Yesterday it took a phone call from a woman who calls on rare occasion; and when she calls, I immediately know that the Lord is signaling me.  I had just been thinking of the woman for she had hip replacement three weeks ago.  I was considering calling her, but when the pain is very high, the emotions are jagged--shards of emotions.  

But she called me, and I answered, and she could detect the weariness and emotional drain-out.  I got a grip, though, and part-way through the conversation took a pain med.  Ironically--and we did laugh--at the end of the conversation when I asked her if she could tell I seemed much better, she said she'd taken a pain med, also.  This is a breakthrough for her, as I knew this from knowing her and she admitted it on the phone:  she used to be anti-pain medication, or much medication of any type at all.

I figure then she was in the mode I'd been in about twenty or more years ago--wanting to gut it out more and also to try every natural and homeopathic herb and concoction conceivable for pain management.  None of the herbs and unctions helped--just cost a lot.  However, there are several vitamins and minerals and a handful of supplements that do help in a small way, and when pain is sucking the life out of one's body, a "small way" means a lot.  And they do add up.

We did exchange some prayer requests for others.  I had one from a woman at Mass a week ago.  She introduced herself afterward as "the one who was trying to awaken" me during Mass.  I found this amazingly polite and kindly--and also courageous on her part.  It has been unheard of heretofore, and I was grateful.  All other such incidents of people trying to rouse by shaking, shoving, pinching, lifting up, or pulling have always in the past resulted in those persons withdrawing--especially the ones with mal intent. 

So I asked the woman who introduced herself and said she was the one (until someone told her I was all right in Mass) if she had a prayer need.  For there was no stench and no sense of her approaching me when in the mystical state in Mass--no sense that she had any foulness of soul nor was irritated by my deadness (as some in the past certainly have been).

Indeed she did have a prayer need!  I explained that the Lord surely had some reason for our encounter, and she said her grand-nephew was born six weeks prior--without the ability of his body to metabolize food!  Mercy, Lord!  So that was one prayer concern I shared with my friend who called yesterday.  Please pray for little Pierce.

Well, there have been some major prayer concerns this week including one that was not answered in the way we humans had wanted.  But faith is enriched when our desires are not met as we wish.  That is, faith, hope and love of God are enriched if we grasp the goodness of God's saying "no" at times. He always has His reasons, and they always have to do more with our souls than our temporal existences.

So this Scripture from yesterday's Mass reading of the Gospel, Luke 8:15, hit home the beauty, truth, and goodness of perseverance.  Yes, our perseverance may end up with temporal aspects not seemingly bearing the fruit that we want or intended.  But it seems the Lord says:  Never mind that!

For example, I am trying to persevere against the physical and health odds here, solo, in very heavy manual labor and tasks that I've never attempted before and have very little knowledge of how to do any of it.  I keep pushing on--barely, I admit--even though I do not like it and am tired, and wish I could just get out from under all this work that is piling up with my body unable to keep up.  

So it may end up temporally not so fruitful, as in I may not be able to finish and sell this place, or I may become even more ill and pass on (which would be fine with me) in here.  Yet, there seems nothing to do but to persevere at whatever pace I can make my body and very much my mind push onward.  

I wonder that I am persevering with this work when I could be writing more spiritually, or doing more for human beings--not, such as today, trying to trim down a stud that is out 3/8" too far from the other studs.  Am using a power saw for that, and it is very slow go, as in inches at a time.  I'm half-way down the stud at this point.

But the temporal realities are that I will need income to support my existence for however long I am to live on this earth, and the money is in this place for my income is not substantial enough to walk away from the investment.  Yes, we hermits must in our day and age, have places to live and pay our way in all aspects, including purchasing health insurance, food, pay utilities, have a vehicle, pay taxes, pay medical costs beyond the insurance coverage, and so forth.

Anyway, my point is that we may not know if our persevering is going to bear good fruit in any tangible way.  It may not.  A couple trying to conceive a child and persevere through all processes known to man at this time, may have tangible fruit of their perseverance in a baby conceived, or may not.  This persevering, like many that are literally life-or-death efforts, is of course life-critical compared to my little example of struggling with pain or trying to keep the body getting up and working on that which is hardly as important as many other potential fruits of persevering.

Yet there is far more in persevering than tangibles, far more to fruit in the way we may think of bearing fruit.

It may be that the fruit of perseverance is intangible, spiritual, even mystical.  The fruit may be increased virtues, particularly that of humility.  The fruit may be some entirely different outcome than we ever considered.  God knows. But it is true that He rewards perseverance at various levels of existence, of body, mind, heart and soul.

Here's the Scripture that yesterday captivated the present moment.  Today I continue on with this Living Word, begging the Lord to help me to persevere. I am today "generously" groveling for His help....  I need to remember to do so with a good heart--embracing His Word, persevering and bearing fruit of whatever kind and type the Lord wills to gift.

"But as for the seed that fell on rich soil,
they are the ones who, when they have heard the word,
embrace it with a generous and good heart,
and bear fruit through perseverance."

Holy Door Update

Well, the elderly friend emailed the latest.  The monsignor of their cathedral has once more changed his decision as to which door is to be holy.  They had a ceremony for the holy door, which he ended up changing back to be the doors facing the main thoroughfare, of which the friend adroitly pointed out are actually double doors of which few ever use.

But the ceremony was held; they declined to be in attendance which is wise this time of year considering weather, viruses, night venue, and age.

So two of the doors are now officially holy, and perhaps more technically so because few if any of us unholy humans pass through them.

The exhaustion from physical pain continues here with this hermit.  Today will attempt Chapter 2 of Hebrews, not that what I write will be of interest to anyone but God.  He is always interested in what we are about, what we do, think, speak, feel.

Even if what I write, as I was recently reminded, might be beautifully written and profound, the person informing me also added that it is not what most people grasp.  He mentioned some famous media types who with ghostwriters put out books that people buy and read, as well as they write some children's books.

Of course, the comment was meant to be for me to perhaps try to write something that actual people enjoy reading and can grasp, or that which is pleasing to others including children.

However, while I did write a children's book once and illustrated it, my life has shifted some over the years, and I see through situations with more reality, perhaps, and I seek all the more my purpose for being here in accordance to what God has in Mind.  The pain rivets me to deeper thoughts and to realism.

For example, when I read an article about the current pope a year ago excoriating the clerics in the Vatican curia for having embezzled, taken bribes, been immoral, lived in excess and gluttony--and this year was once more addressing them, but this time trying to get them to learn to be honest and moral, to live a couple of basic virtues--I had to ask myself why are these clerics, some of them having committed criminal acts, still in the curia?  

What is wrong with grown ups who had years ago been gifted with years of paid instruction and formation and then even more years of paid and glorified lived experience--supposed to be sons of God who were anointed with the oil of gladness, given the scepter of righteousness, told to love justice and hate wickedness?  Why are they not out working at some job more suited to their inability to have grasped what is simple honesty, years ago?  

If these alter Christi did not get the message from the pope a year ago, why still be trying to explain to them what is honesty and ask them to try living simple virtues, now?  If they did not grasp the simple definitions of virtues and to live good lives when children growing up in their mostly Catholic homes--taught simple right from wrong--why is the top leader of a major church in the world, still attempting to cajole them into trying on a bit of goodness, yet, a year later?

Would any owner of a dog put up with such disobedience after having trained the animal otherwise as a pup?

I can see how Jesus was perturbed with the high priests, the Sadducees, the Pharisees, the scribes--of the various hypocrisies of the Temple goers and doers.  He turned to the lowly people, then, through preaching and teaching. He knew their neediness as not having viable leaders for their souls.  

He gave His hope to their neediness, at least, and their lostness, their seeking a shepherd to guide them when the ones to whom was given by God the scepter of righteousness had either dropped the scepter or started to use it as a sword to fight for personal power, prestige, position, and possessions.  Or maybe the scepter had poked their eyes out.  Blind shepherds, then, trying to lead lost sheep.

We each and every one of us need to find our God-given purpose in life, our holy point for being here, and to take a realistic view of what it is that God asks of us. We need to grasp the scepter of righteousness even if not ceremonially ordained.  We must pray to be touched in our minds and hearts and souls by His oil of gladness, and to deeply love justice and to resolutely hate wickedness.  We must be noble in our purpose and never let go of what is right; we must listen to and follow Jesus.  Remain in His Love!

The others--those entangled in the nets just beneath the surface--we must let God touch them, deal with them, love and rescue them.  We must swim on out into the deep, not knowing where we are going but going in faith, yet not get entangled ourselves in humanly uncuttable nets.  Just keep swimming toward the depths of His Real Presence.  We must!

Jesus Meek and Humble of Heart

This prayer devotion came to mind off and on today:

Jesus meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto Thine.

Has helped immensely in focusing the heart, mind, and soul to the key of spiritual progression. Humility is the key that opens us into His Love.

Humility tames the passions.  With humility, there is little guesswork, as all will fall away from us that is excess and unnecessary.  We don't even begin to know what those aspects are until humility takes root and grows like the faith starting out small as a mustard seed but becoming pervasive and huge as a tree.

Nothing Catholic hermit is all the more asking for the grace of humility.  And it is going to be making some choices in those areas in which it already knows what humility chooses.  Just little things, for now, but humility delights in little even though much little can be immense, all told.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another.  Remain in His Love! Love is the treasure found and secured by the key of humility.  God Is Love!

"The Catholic Church Is a MESS!"

Twenty years ago this spring, this statement was the main response of this nothing Catholic hermit's aunt when it told her it was converting to Catholicism.  At the time, it seemed impossible and just yet another biased reaction against the Catholic Church by those who did not know Her from within.  Yet over the years, it has proven to be quite true, indeed!

Yes, the Catholic Church is "a mess".  The nothing Catholic hermit, within the first months, discovered some horrors first-hand in the initial parish.  Over the course of numerous priests, the problems, personality disorders, sins of immorality of all types, revealed themselves, one after another.  

The reality of Catholic-in-name-only surfaced time and again, example after example.  The beloved Godmother, a religious sister, eventually revealed her and her order's penchant for radical feminism and steep involvement in a church dissent group.  When this nothing declined to go along with it, that was the end of our earthly friendship.  So much mess hit the fan--too much to detail--and only two years of Catholicism under the belt.

The next 18 years continued to reveal more and more mess as far as the experience could see and as much as the mind could shoulder...or perhaps shudder.  You name the category of mess, the corruption, the abuses, the rude and nasty ill-treatment of those in the cloth and those in the pews, and there are examples to delineate: hard facts.

Yes, the Catholic Church is a mess.  For a long time, this nothing Catholic hermit tried to hide it from its own children and friends and family.  It hid its knowing the reality of the mess from the very priests who were steeply involved in some corrupt and immoral behaviors--right down to crossing the criminal line.  And some of the mess was starting to ooze out into the public, especially the mistreatment of the nothing Catholic hermit in some instances in which the persons perpetuating the nastiness no longer cared what they said or did, or how they reacted in anger and vengeance.

The wrongs continued to flow like rushing flood waters, and then into the muddy after-bilge, robbing the good earth, stripping it from previously fertile fields of a naive hope for a bountiful harvest in what could be a sure and perfect picture of Christ's own Church on earth.  And the condition of the mess goes on and on, parish after diocese after religious order after Vatican insider ills.

The Catholic Church is a mess because of us Catholics.  We all sprouted from a seed, sometime, somewhere, and somehow we did not absorb the nutrients available.  Or we got side-lined and distracted by others who did not absorb the nutrients available, or who fell to lesser or greater temptations and sin, and who got ourselves into envy or pride, or gluttony or sloth, or deception or scandal or intemperance or impurity of one sort or another.  

Or we got ourselves into a state of mess and caused the distraction and derailment of others who became disillusioned because of our making messes in our Catholic lives, our Catholic parishes, our Catholic religious houses and seminaries and in our overall human lack of attention to detail, to obedience to not so much the rules, but to the Gospel Rule, and to the Sovereignty (and humility) of His Real Presence.

Yes, the Catholic Church is a mess, and yet this nothing Catholic hermit loves Her for many solid reasons.  But the overriding reason is that in the Church, despite its being a mess, there is truth, goodness and beauty in the purity of the Faith in all its theological, doctrinal and Scriptural reality.  It is the Church Christ founded and instituted on this earth, for us messy human beings, steeped in our messes, and adept and perpetuating by our flaws, even more mess, thus keeping Holy Mother Church in a state of mess for those either wanting Her to fail or those hoping beyond hope for Her to be pristine and perfect in the Christian ideal.

And the Church could be and should be pristine and perfect in the Christian ideal, if it weren't for us people bringing our messes to muddy the image and also the reality.  

Yet the reason there is such love in this nothing Catholic hermit, despite having seemingly more than its share of persecution, abuse, and mishaps from the mess, is that there is hope.  There is such hope alive and possible in the pureness of the faith, and the faith and hope enkindle such love that it is futile to think of being anything other than one of the souls embodied in very human and imperfect flesh, who has the potential to either add to the mess or to be a seed in the mud, striving to grow beyond the mess of its own and others' contribution to the mess.  Yes, nothing Catholic hermit is a mess, as well.

A familiar symbol in the first few centuries for faith, hope and love were a beam, a light, and a disk. This nothing Catholic hermit desires to be a flashlight held in the Hands of His Real Presence, through which a beam of light shines and creates a disk at the end of the beam, a disk of light shining brightly and visibly against a wall--perhaps that of a temporal Catholic Church, or at least of the mystical Church.  And that disk of light becomes a beacon of His Love, of His Love of our messy souls trying to become beams of light-into-pure-light-disks of love to expose our mess and purify our mess, our individual and collective mess that sullies the Church--His Church, our Church.  Our Holy Catholic Church.

There is nothing stopping the nothing Catholic hermit from striving in faith, hope, and love:  beam, light, disk.  (The disk rather shines like His Real Presence in the species of a Host, does it not?) Become one with that Host!  Seek union with His Real Presence in Body and Spirit!  Even though we may falter time and again, as our human conditions can grow weary with slogging through our own muddy mess of interior ineptitude and exterior rude-and-crude and all vices in and out:  We can try.  

We have the virtues of faith, hope, and love to call upon, and these three are given us for the asking, by His grace.  He will never refuse us these, and by these we will be held as a flashlight in Jesus' Hands, and He will focus us time and again for the asking.  Beam, light, disk.  It can happen, soul by soul.  And this is how we can strive to be a little less of a mess, and how one by one and bit by bit, we can keep that faith, hope, and love alive to strive for these ideals of virtue-grace living even if the growth is slow and imperceptible to ourselves, like the seeds in the mud, gradually making progress to reach the sunlight and fresh air.

If one can fall into a mess of a house, deceived by some vice-mess in others and naive self-blunder, and learn to slowly dig through the mess and work hard to turn it around, clean it out, make progress even if might not be able to finish and surely not to remain after it is fresh and all things made new--and adapt to, have gratitude, and love for a place to be allowed to exist and seek God--then one can do far better of itself for Christ and His Church.

Sure worth this nothing Catholic hermit's continuous efforts, for we are all part of our mess.  Yet we cannot do other than dig in to our own lives and souls to begin clearing the mess, vice by vice, into virtue upon virtue.  Humility is key, unto love.

The Catholic Church is a mess, and this nothing Catholic hermit loves Her so!  Faith, Hope, and Love.  As the apostle writes, the greatest of these is love.

Asking God for Humility

This morning prayed for the Lord, His Real Presence, to teach this nothing what is humility.  St. John Climacus brought up such an excellent thought in his writings after having heard previous holy men's definitions of humility, prior to his 6th c. time on earth.

But John Climacus realized none of those definitions seemed accessible to him, personally.  The Scripture in Matthew 11:29 spoke:  Learn from Me, for I am meek and humble of heart.  John asked and received what the Lord wished for him to grasp of humility.  He gave him a definition.  [This definition is shared in previous post.]

So nothing has asked for what His Real Presence may desire it to grasp further, of humility--beyond the marvelous definitions and wisdoms given by some of the holiest pilgrims who breathed earthly air.  One thought that came fairly early in this day is that humility is transient.  Perhaps more than most of the virtues, humility is sensitive to the present moment.  In one instance humility is planted solid and deep; in another moment humility can dissipate like a passing cloud.

Thus, this nothing Catholic hermit spent some time watching clouds in the sky while resting the very painful back.  Then a young wife and mother emailed, asking input for some temporal-spiritual issues.  They had to do with what may enter into their lives in the next several months:  a change in job, perhaps, and thus location.  Nothing had been struggling with similar, as finances are dwindling due to the amount of renovation involved in Te Deum Hermitage.

Humility, like clouds, or like concerns beyond the present moment, can be visible or not.  No matter, it is always in flux while we are in our earthly progression.  While writing some ideas for the young wife and mother, with clouds as an example of humility and present moment existence, a cloud dissipated as if before the eyes.

Clouds remind us of God's creative power, omniscience, and ever present love...and humility.  In His grandeur, God is humble, yet He is eternally humble.  At some point, when we love more truly and purely, and when humility wraps itself around love like clouds seem to embrace the sky, we may find more moments of humility, present humble moments building one upon another and lingering some, rather than being so transient.

But already today, when the pain rose and obstacles to manual labor tasks banked like foreboding storms threatening to disrupt progress, where was humility?  For a bit it seemed as if frustrated anger rolled in; but soon enough the clouds shifted, and humility was recognized in the reality that today's tasks had to be placed on hold until tomorrow.  The obstacles were impassable for the time being; there is humility in this reality, as well.

Presumably the definition of humility will change just as much as the presence of humility can fluctuate.  It depends upon what we are capable of grasping regarding this most precious grace given us by His Real Presence (for the asking).  Each soul can learn special aspects regarding humility as God wills and provides, in whatever ways we need to learn and are capable of learning.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  All His graces and love and power and might are in Him, and He in His Abode, within us!  Think on that truth!  But we mostly are not able to yet absorb so much, such as purity of love and constancy of humility.  Someday, though, and increasingly so, we pray for increasingly constancy of humility, as we climb the stairway to heaven!

Little children, let us love one another!  Let us love and pray to be humble, and to be humbled.

The Signs of Humility

These are marvelous signs of humility.  Blessed are those who have them!

• Poverty
• Withdrawal from the world
• The concealment of one's wisdom
• Simplicity of speech
• The seeking of alms
• The disguising of one's nobility
• The exclusion of easy and free relationships
• The banishment of idle talk

(Yet am reading and pondering insights of St. John Climacus.  Humility is the 25th out of 30 steps he astutely shares in The Ladder of Divine Ascent.)

How Will We Be Found?

 From St. Peter's Epistle, Scripture of today's second reading in Mass:

But, in accordance with his promise, we wait for new heavens and a new earth, where righteousness is at home. Therefore, beloved, while you are waiting for these things, strive to be found by him at peace, without spot or blemish....

This nothing Catholic hermit prays and hopes it will be found by His Real Presence to be at peace, and without spot or blemish.  As for strong faith that it will be found thus, needs a bit more prayerful effort.  Faith in that hope butts heads with the mind's thinking about how difficult to not sin.  Sin causes spots and blemishes.

Was pondering this morning, growing up Protestant.  All was very good, loving, with marvelously loving and moral people in my parents' circle of friends and family.  They were not without trials and sins, but it was all the more amazing because they did not have conscious knowledge of the various virtues and vices, other than in generic terms.  We had nothing to go on other than the power of His Living Word and passed down moral ethics and Puritan values.  This hermit considered, had it when young, the writings of holy people--the saints, mystics, and of their lives--plus books on virtues, it would have appreciated learning and practicing these, consciously. Yet it had the examples of some very good people who stayed out of trouble, due to their virtues even if not labeling them as such.

Even now, it is a privilege to learn more about the virtues and to practice them, and to learn how to identify the vices and try to eliminate those.  Yet, of the family and friends considered, they do well based upon moral values of right versus wrong in broader terms, in more generic ways.  Scripture is a most powerful sacrament, and the Ten Commandments and Beatitudes are profound. 

But this nothing Catholic hermit delights in learning all matters about the soul, about any ways in which one can strive to be found by Him at peace, without spot or blemish.  Having access to books that explain the devil, angels, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, God the Father, the Virgin Mary, the saints, the three ways of the spiritual life--as well as some who enjoy learning and practicing the faith in more specific manner--is joy to this nothing hermit.

We are all different in what delights and in ways helpful to our soul's progression.  Today am preparing the body, mind, heart and soul for the practicing the little exercise with others who thankfully find much at issue with this hermit's way of being, way of expressing.  

A spiritual friend called last night, hoping the hermit was not as cold as a week ago.  Progress in that.  But mentioned the little exercise and how it has come about, and the friend mentioned a woman who she found to be fascinating and could light up a room, but that others disliked the same woman as being too dramatic, too potent in presence.

Considered two Terry's.  Teresa of Avila's personality and way of expression was different than Therese of Lisieux's.  Some were irked by one or the other.  Some found both appealing with understanding that the externals do not so much matter other than to enjoy the uniqueness, as one would flowers and trees.

It is amazing how some people love pitbulls and are able to train them without incident of their known aggressive traits.  This hermit would not go there with that breed, personally.  So it is fair to discern what one can risk and what one is better off not attempting to adopt.  But it does remind us, such as with flowers, that perhaps we ought detach from tremendous likes and dislikes in such aspects of externals.  

Why like a rose and then dislike some other type of flower?  Just like them all!  Appreciate their beauty in being God's creation.  Why like one color and dislike another?  Why not love them all for their amazing qualities?

Perhaps we ought learn, in our process of virtuous ascent, to detach from disliking  this and that, unless it is sin.  We ought dislike sin and keep as far away from it and its influence, as possible.  And as we all sin, then dislike that part of us enough to try to change it, to remove the spot and blemish.  If another is sinning, then dislike that but make sure we recognize the difference between sin and personality traits.  If a personality trait becomes sinful in nature, then dislike that.

Surliness comes to mind, or temper, or melancholy.  This nothing hermit struggles against melancholy and despair. Yes, there are physical reasons (intense, constant pain) that  urge the sorrows and despairs, but this hermit always prays and strives to overcome that aspect.  It has not yet succeeded in eradicating it, but it keeps hoping and striving for that beautiful goal of overcoming.  And it understands when others need to avoid or put boundaries for themselves, when the nothing hermit is suffering extra much.

Yet others are able to reach in and encourage, and to remind the hermit that its pain must be too high, and that it will get through it.  When cold and down, blemished and spotted by darkness of spirit and low in desire to endure, some nurtured and others did not.  One wrote that everyone has problems; two others wrote this hermit could come live with them in their lovely, warm homes until it got warmer here.  One sent a small check, with a note saying it hoped could be helpful.  That check caused the hermit to get a portable heater, and also stirred the mind to try to work all the more so that it could someday help the person who sent it, or help someone else in need.

So we can learn to recognize our own and others' sins and weaknesses; but we also can learn how to respond in order to help them pull out, to erase the spots and heal the blemishes.  All the positive does help us all to come to more peace.  Bending to those who do not yet see or grasp how to help those who cannot realize to love the otherwise not-sinful externals, is worth learning.

In other words, if a person or more dislike the particular flower that we are, we can by example, ourselves, appreciate all flowers.  And, we can bend our own stems and take on hues and scents that may assuage the others' dislikes, at least a little.  Someday, they may learn to remove particular disliking of externals that are not sins and rather are the peace-scents of life itself. 

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, for love bears all things (but not sin, or so we are taught).  May we be found, in peace, without spot or blemish!

A Little Chat with Spiritual Father

Last night had a lovely phone conversation with the spiritual Father.  He continues to pray that this hermit will eventually have the energy, strength and necessary courage to drive the distance for Mass.  So does this hermit pray thus!  

The spiritual Father, now far away but accessible by phone, knows the past trials, sufferings, and persecutions, and also knows the reality of historical hermits, of which those not in religious orders of hermits (and some who were!), lived distances out and in solitude.  The women did not have Mass; the men who were not priests did not have Mass. 

He agrees to appreciate the hermit monks up the road, but given their different religious background and the polemics involved, best to hold as loving inspirations for what one can learn but to keep this hermit's life less complicated: simplicity.  

Yes, it is time for this hermit to listen and follow the Voice that speaks deep within, clearly in bell-tone, and not just sense these matters for others.  Several times, this hermit has ignored signals for itself, only to realize later His Real Presence very much meant the advice, warning, or statement.

Am yet in civilization, helping out in a quiet place but with two others.  One of the others goes to work, requiring this hermit's care for the one remaining here.  Am not used to speaking or the small bit of activity, calm and restful as it is.  The other day reflected that in the Te Deum hermitage, some several days can pass, and the hermit's voice has not made utterance unless a rare phone call--and they are rare.

Last evening in phone conversation, the spiritual Father commented that this, here, is a true hermit's life--what has evolved in the past 18 months or so.  Yes, it is, and the adaptation and greater faith required has been a challenge off-and-on.  Mentioned to him that of ten days ago, going to confession when in civilization (and also gathering some provisions).  Shared that the recently ordained parish priest made an assumption in the confessional:  "I bet you thought your hermit life was going to be really easy at first, and now you are surprised it is difficult."

This hermit did not respond to that assumption, as it was totally false.  Did not want to bother with a defense or explanation; just not worth the verbal effort, and it really did not matter if the young priest knew or not how it was for the hermit, years past.  Was not going to affect his well-needed time and efforts with active parishioners, and might not help him realize that making assumptions can be tricky.  He meant well or else simply assumed from not knowing how it is for some hermits (or maybe all if incisively honest).

But, no, this hermit never ever thought at any time that it would be easy--not from the first of God's revealing the hermit vocation over fourteen years ago to even today.  In fact, the sensation within this hermit was that of dread...and yet of a certainty to step forth into the desert!  Somehow, the reality of needing to die to so much of one's accumulation of outer and inner distractions has always been a reality, and a harsh one depending upon depth of self-disclosure, clarity of the reflective mirror.

Distractions of the temporal accumulations--but more, the distractions of the inner accumulations, the spiritual vices, the temptations to resist, for whatever the reasons, that which is challenging on the path of spiritual perfection--these require profound and repetitive dying.  

But granted, with each level of dying comes a rising, and it is key to note that there are levels, phases--a spiraling of the double-helix of the temporal and spiritual sloughing of accumulated distractions.  These deaths free the soul in mostly indiscernible increments to love progressively, and more perfectly, God in Himself, and in Himself to love all souls alive on earth and those souls alive but not physically tangible.

This hermit mentioned that this phase of its life is filled with more hardships than ever dreamed and ever lived--and after being given what could have, seemingly should have, been a secure and comfortable existence for the rest of earthly life.  The spiritual Father exclaimed, "But you are in the desert now!  In a very real desert!  You are a true hermit!"

And, to another eremitic effort, the spiritual Father mentioned on the phone last night, that breaking seven times from the physical and mental distractions of each day and night to pray the Divine Office, is difficult.  He repeated, "This is not easy!"  Truly, while it should not be so difficult in the mere thinking about what seems a small effort, times seven, any efforts against accumulated distractions are challenging.  

It is a truth, at least to this hermit, that no matter how cleverly or contentedly one may think one is in some spiritual discipline or gift of grace, there is never sole or soul assurance that one has "arrived".  For one has not arrived, not yet.  We will know more of arrival when after worldly and other-worldly purgation and progressions, we enter Heaven.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, as He loves us!  Remain in His Love!

Deeper Conversion

Another awakening with the severe headache and more back pain.  All this has thankfully pointed this "nothing" into deeper questing of His Real Presence.  There is greater desire to do His will.  And that doing is more a being, at this phase of suffering that one would pray no one ever endure, especially not repeatedly with increased intensity over age and time.

Yet there are the many positives, always.  Being on the cross with Jesus is incomparable.  The earthly detachment that comes with severe suffering assists in setting priorities.  For a hermit, this includes prayerfully listening and reviewing the priorities as well as messages from His Real Presence.  Is the vocation being lived as He wills?  What signs indicate?

Certainly, having physical limitations arrive, help in making adjustments.  Then, such as yesterday with the unexpected noticing the name of one called Dositheus the Elder, Recluse of the Kiev Caves, led to further research.  And, it was no coincidence that this 18th c. female hermit's feast day is Oct. 8, yesterday's date.  The wonders of His Real Presence reach into our lives so beautifully!

Here is yet another hermit who lived austerely, all for God, in prayer, and remained in her cave the remainder of her life.  She left family and friends, comfortable and privileged life style in order to give herself completely to love and intimacy of and in His Real Presence.  Her prayers and offering of her life became her action; she was given other spiritual gifts and counseled those who asked.  But this was not the purpose of her existence, to be utilized in known ways.  Her purpose was love of God and adoration.  And that love of God always flows into love of souls, love of others whether physically interactive with them or not.

This hermit now prays about its own existence, and the purpose is not this temporal abode, or even trying to make it livable or salable.  Rather, the challenge is to live in it as is, and if the body is somehow able to do some manual labor, then do so.  The main work is of prayer and adoration. Pray for souls and adore His Real Presence.  Leaving this "cave" is not essential other than on occasion for some provisions.  Or, perhaps He will provide someone out there to bring some food from time to time.  One must remain open to whatever assistance He might provide.

Yesterday this Catholic hermit addressed in a blog post, another hermit and supporters, exhorting to leave off rather contrary writing, of which this hermit here has not been the only target over the last several years.  One wonders if hermits of yore had these issues with other hermits seemingly threatened or competitive, or desiring notice or to be esteemed over their fellow hermits.  Presumably this is not a problem of just one time period.  Human nature will always be as it is, and vices and virtues are our constant fare in the spiritual journey.

The post was left up long enough to get the message across to the person and persons involved, and to assure of prayers and well wishes for their vocations to be lived to the glory of God and for great success in the striving for holiness.  We all, hopefully, desire what is the sum and perfection of our poor souls, to some day or moment to be united with His Real Presence for all eternity.

God bless His Real Presence in each of us; and let us love one another, little children though we be, and His children, one and all.

Bedridden Still but Praising his Real Presence

It is true that enduring these pain sieges that come to their heights of agony, is a challenge in simply letting go.  The other night was so peaceful, rejoicing that by morning would surely be on the other side and not awaken to earthly, bodily agony.

Yet that was not to be, yet.

Am in the fifth day, and the blessing of any reduction in the severe pain calls for rejoicing even if not well enough to rise. One must banish thoughts of despair or frustration at what is needing physical attention when one cannot use the body to handle the temporal tasks.  Most hermits who lived and now live in silence and solitude experience the holy and wholly, great alone with the Alone in such practical aspects.  The mind prays and the pain prays, and there comes an inner grasp of what can be and what cannot be.

The reality is in the joy of having a roof overhead that does not leak as it used to leak, terribly.  There is a twin bed even if the mattress not as hard as the spine appreciates for lessened pain.  There is yet food in the little refrigerator enough to manage a bowl of yogurt once a day, a slice of cheese, an apple, a red pepper.  There is yet the green smoothie goop to drink each morning, having made batches and frozen it a few weeks ago.

Nothing else of the physical is necessary.  There is the chamber pot, and somehow even in the worst of the suffering, was able to walk the few feet for these simple necessities.

There will be no going forth until much better.  His Real Presence is all the more present.  He succors, feeds, supports, loves.

________________


Noticed a blog site that was very well documented and thought out, and commented as such to the blogger, whoever he is.  Then noticed a response with a certain angle to it, and knew immediately that the devil had entered in through a person who is apparently obsessed with denouncing and detracting.  A true Internet stalker, and yet there is much love and compassion from this hermit to that one.  It is understood that if this hermit here,this nothing, should write "up," then, that other hermit will write "down".

Anyway, the ongoing stalking and obsession, by this other person, of this nothing Cath0lic eremitic's experience herein freely shared, always reminds as to what is behind such negative reaction by those who could have so much of their own eremitic experience to share.

But it is best to let the praise of His Real Presence rise from this bed of suffering all the more.  Any despair or concerns with how the temporal work efforts will possibly proceed, melts in the warmth of His Love and intimate Presence.

It is always best to be reminded that there are those out there whose seeming existence is intent on debasing others, presumably for their own increase and position, that all the more the Scriptures play forth as light upon darkness, and the prayers increase for such souls.

In God's temporal and mystical creation, in His holy Church, there is room for every soul in every mortal body, and yet His Real Presence lives within each soul as an abode.  And each abode is not the same as the other abodes.  In his Mercy and Love, He accepts and settles in, and we adapt and settle into His rendering of our lives, as well.  What He forms and makes His own, may not seem like what some other soul is convinced must be the only and correct form.  God in His omniscient perfection, truly knows what He is creating and why, even if we do not.

It is with gratitude to God to be reminded that angels of darkness prey upon any weakness of virtues, particularly when humility is less, compassion lacking, and the beam in our eyes so huge that we lose sight of our own vocational paths and are consumed with trying to discredit the paths of others.  It is easy enough to discern who would be using such souls for such purposes which only degrade the ones ensnared.

However, it is true that perhaps those obsessed consider they are called by God to be the keepers and saviors of the eremitic vocation.  That makes it more understandable and to give benefit of the doubt.  But regardless, those thus consumed with elevating self by discrediting and defrauding others, do no favors to the Catholic Church, nor to the hermit vocation, nor to their own existences.  Many people are offering prayers and sacrifices, for they have been in contact to alert as to the obsession and that this has been done to others, also, with online stalking and detraction.

Now, return to the praise of His Real Presence!  Enough strength and clarity is being graced within, and the light cast upon the darkness.  It never fails that toward the particularly horrific pain sieges, when this worn out Catholic hermit has not spiritually drooped in the process, that the devil tries an added assault, using other hermits or family or unsympathetic delivery men, to try to ruin what otherwise is a marvelous agony and several days on the cross with His Real Presence.

Am going to attempt getting up, perhaps stepping out side in pj's, touching some leaves and breathing deeply of the air that we are given and yet often do not notice.  We must pray and strive to use what breath God gives, to encourage, support, uplift and rejoice in each other and the marvels that God allows in each pathway He selects and assists in our individual spiritual journeys.

This old Catholic hermit in this austere hermitage sustains you, out there, dear hermit sister and the rest of your group of well-intentioned supporters!  There is a tree here planted in your honor as a prayer tree.  May you do well in your hermit vocation and grow in holiness, and remain steadfast to the daily, spiritual walk.  May you be released from bondage to what are over the years becoming your seeming raison d'etre of the hermit and spiritual particulars of this Catholic hermits path. It will drive you to total distraction from your own spiritual benefit, but that is your allowing to be consumed with others vocations.  This, here, hermit's vocation is so of the Order of the Present Moment, that it keeps this little nothing Catholic hermit on its toes, making its own connections and turns and hillocks and vales in the hermit life God has chosen for it and values very much.

In fact, since you seem ever intrigued, His Real Presence is calling this hermit to yet more austerities, and yet more temporal hardships.  It is quite the adventure to identify the spiritual combat for what it is, be it temptation to not praise during the height of suffering, or to battle for the inner peace that the devil invades unwitting others in attempts to disrupt or take off course.

Certainly, just when some consolation or insight comes through clearly from the Beloved, and this nothing Catholic hermit agrees even if it means more sacrifice or detachment, there is a reminder of the angels of darkness infiltrating those who cannot seem to be freed from such manipulation.  

Perhaps, now pointing it out, these others, especially the one who has had this issue with others in the past who evidently she thinks are a threat to her ideas of how others vocations are unfolding do not meet with approval, there will be an effort to axe the root of her obsession and do the beautiful writing of her own vocational path and experience, and glorify His Real Presence with the freedom He so desires for her and for her dear friends.

May this sharing all be as heartfelt prayer for these fellow Christians,  these fellow consecrated religious of the eremitic vocation.  Many others lend their prayers, as well.  

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little, dear little children, let us each and all love one another, for God IS LOVE!