Christian Catholic Hermit Mystic: Mostly Spiritual, Not Temporal

I'm mostly spiritual, not temporal. I'm interested in the spiritual life, of the life of Christ, of the mystical elements of religion (a title of two volumes by a great writer, Baron Von Hugel), and of the spiritual and temporal application of Scripture in personal and societal daily life.  I enjoy sensing and pondering and writing of that which is above, of the Law of God--God's Law of Love--more than the laws created by humankind, especially that of canon (or church) laws.  

I grieve for Catholics who become ensnared in the entangling nets of the temporal.... their limbs thrashing about 'neath the surface of the waters of which years ago God showed me that I was desperately trying to untangle the nets to free the people--some whom I recognized from parishes including priests--who were caught in these nets.  Then God spoke to me.  He said, "They will be all right. I will help them. But you--you must swim on out into the deep! Go! Swim on to the other side!" 

So I stopped treading water by the immense nets that held all these people just below the surface of of the waters, and I turned outward and began to swim.  I looked to as far as my sight would allow, and I saw no end of the vast waters.  I swam on and on, and I am still swimming.

I am swimming, progressing onward into the deep, into the unknown of which God pointed and and directed those years ago.  I am swimming and progressing onward,despite my spine half fused and the next level up already deteriorating; and my neck has gone from being deemed "bad" to severe in less than a year between MRI's.  It is so severe that the neurosurgeon decided he did not want to operate unless it becomes life-threatening.  He had neurological testing performed, and although at times I wake up with my arms thumb through the hands, thus far feeling has returned in time.  

Recently, I have had another major surgery on my left knee; that, too, has been a failed surgery of 4-6% who have this occurrence of collagen cells reacting even during surgery to what is called oxidative stress.  This causes the cells to grow rapidly and thickly in a fibrous, impervious layer--mine two-inches thick covering over my artificial knee.  The pain is horrendous; my life style is forever altered between trying to do painful stretches throughout the day and using pain medications, and also trying to tend to the temporal responsibilities of the temporal aspect of my bodily existence here, now, on this temporal earth.

Yet my soul supersedes all else. I know this even if the temporal existence and those temporalites who exist around my temporal body, mostly unseen by me but here, there, ensnared and thrashing about in the immense nets beneath the surface of what is the temporal world and that of the deep and wide of eternity.  That is, of the world in which faith in God leads those of us who have all but the bodily left off from the temporal world and those thrashing about.  That is, of the temporalites who are ensnared in the temporal nets 'neath the surface of the waters; the focus and bulk of their accountability given over to the temporal world of temporal experiences and situations with other temporalites.  

The only way forward, out  of the entangling nets of the temporal, is to keep swimming, keep going, onward and forward, seeing not the other side.  Yet know that  freedom and blissful of touches of grace await us the more we broaden our sights, strengthen our strokes, not look back! Keep on! Keep on swimming out into the deep, onward with faith and hope, having let go of trying to free those who are not yet ready, those who do not grasp in reality there is something far more that awaits us the farther we reach with our hearts and minds and our very souls determined in faith that God is with us and also there for us, both, and, for all eternity.

But we must stay clear of the entangling nets, once we have been freed from the temporal reality that these nets ensnare us, keep us tied and entangled to a point of the blind thrashing about  becoming our norm within our existence in the temporal world and indeed, ensnared as well in the temporal tangibles and temporalizations of the temporal world of the temporal church. 

From the moment of realization of what is beyond us, what is unseen yet so very real, beyond us out into the depths and breadths of the spiritual life in His Real Presence, always and forever, we in trust simply and profoundly, in unknowingness of ontological beingness--we keep progress.

Onward and forward we progress into the very soul of God Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth. Yet God is the One, the All, to Whom we keep progressing despite the hindrances of our insufferable temporal bodies. For within these bodies, once we free ourselves in faith, hope, and love to give over to God the tending of those caught up into and of the entangling nets of the temporal realm of the world at large and the temporal world of church, and of all those choosing to remain stuck reman entangled in the temporal--we find that we are brought through and onward and forward, despite the ongoing effort of exchanging our own thrashing about with that of taking progressively forward strokes. 

We are bound and determined, no matter what, to keep going to whatever is there--to the heaven of God's Beingness and Energy, to that of God's pervasive and effervescent God's Allness.  God is there for us; God is with us along the endless breadth and depth of forward progression.  We know not but that God loves us and asks of us to keep on receiving His Love and learning His Love, to learn to love, to love God and others (and ourselves) as God loves.

This is the mostly spiritual  that at some point of which we do not know other than to know this point exists, in which we become deeply spiritual within the spiritual of God Himself. We become one with God's Beingness and Allness.  We become as if one with God's Supreme Soul. The as if becomes the truth, beauty, and goodness of not only spiritual union, but of mystical marriage with consummation.

This is what awaits us. This is why becoming aware of something more out there, beyond the entangling nets 'neath the surface of the waters. This is why we persevere in our seeking, no matter what befalls us or tries to interfere with the progression, we keep advancing by becoming mostly spiritual and less to least temporal.  We become unentangled from those temporalites who yet choose or acccept--either one--the temporal always mostly, and more than the the breadth and depth of the spiritual counterparts God desires for us, for our minds, hearts, and souls--if we simply keep going, once we are freed from the stuckness of the temporal nets.

Pray His Real Presence free everyone's mind, heart, and soul from the stuckness of entanglement in the ensnaring nets of whatever temporal.  Note the difference between being entangled by those temporal nets that represent the temporalization of the world at large and the world of church, as well as of the world of ourselves remaining entangled until by the grace of God, we are released through the teachings and life and sacrificial death of Christ Jesus, and ultimately by God's will we are freed from ourselves being entangled. Praise God with each inch of disentanglement, God's will and desire for us.

If I were an adept artist, I'd watercolor or pencil or ink sketch an image of this most powerful and real locution and vision.  I pray the description and word-metaphor of the entangling nets 'neath the doldrum-deceptive surface of the waters, assists the awakening from the living dead alive.  I pray that all temporalites realize the vast depths and breadths of the spiritual and masterful mystical realm of eternity that awaits us now, and has for every now of the present moment we've spent remaining piteously and desperately blind to our thrashing about stuckness in the temporal, of the entangling nets.

God bless His Real Presence is within us, the love of God, the love of God as others love, and to love ourselves as God loves, will always be ours to grasp and take with us onward and forward to reach that point of center, amidst the breadth and width of the Holiness of God's desire for us.

Swim on, swim on!  God will take care of all these others who are in His care, of whom God will free, will detangle these others who then must stay free and clear of the entangling nets. Rather, praise God for the faith, hope, and love of the reality of the blissful crossing that God has for us, onward and forward.  

The Stairway to Heaven is ours; we are by swimming onward and forward, not held back--we are led to the base.  The swimming onward and forward propels us, despite not knowing where nor able to see beyond ourselves. 

The Stairway to Heaven is given us, to provide for our onward and forward progression into, and then eternally remaining in the spiritual of our God-infused minds, hearts, and souls.  We advance all the while our insufferable attachments to our bodies and the temporalized aspects of the temporal world of varying types, fall far beyond us as well as the temporalites' plights.

God will take care of them, just as God is taking care of us.  It is never too late nor too early to learn to love, to love to learn to love God, to love others (and ourselves) as God loves!

 

Catholic Hermit: Helplessness of Suffering

So much for my taking that small, round, costly little pain medication tablet last night.  Even with the added regular medication plus the prescribed muscle relaxant and the herbal sleep aid, the pain kept me awake until sometime after 2 a.m.  This pain situation is as it is, intractable and potent no matter; it remains thus, and with me for whatever reasons God alone knows.  

I finally fell asleep--really and truly by the grace of God. This morning I awoke after five hours of sleep.  Not enough, in my view of it, but God surely deems it acceptable, and I am grateful for that amount of reprieve from conscious awareness of this suffering.

The situation with suffering, with pain, is the sense of helplessness.

There is a difference between helplessness and hopelessness, of course.  One must be aware of and recognize helplessness as distinguished from hopelessness.  I'm not sure how, exactly, to know the difference other than through the love of God and His hope which is so intrinsically woven within faith and love.

We can feel helpless; others around us can feel helpless.  We can even be helpless, such as I am helpless in this waking pain and helpless last night in falling asleep until well after 2 a.m.  There really was not more I could safely do to manage the pain other than to wait and pray.  The prayer was not mental; it was more verbal.  

I wrote a couple emails--wrote about, per usual, the suffering, and wrote of my joy at one person's exciting and most uplifting plans for a trip with a son and beloved granddaughter.  They fly off on an adventure at Thanksgiving, visiting another of the friend's son and his wife--a reward get-away a gift from the Almighty for anyone who grasps the helplessness in suffering through which this older friend has also travelled. 

In the other email, I wrote about the suffering, but then asked for any specific prayer intentions of the priest who is, despite being halfway around the world, would be considered my closest. living spiritual director.  It could be awhile before I hear back from him; he is a holy priest the Community of the Holy Spirit--the Spiritans--in an African country of which the internet service is not as consistent as is the fullness of his many responsibilities in his ministry.

And while I emailed Fr. V., I had already admitted in the silence of solitude and in the relentless suffering, that I have instantaneous contact with my dearest spiritual da, as well as with the ones who loves me most--my late mother and father.  I thought yet again of my spiritual da, his temporal form buried in the earth of the convent in which he served as chaplain for the last 28 years of his over 99 years of life.  So I called upon my spiritual da, my earthly dad, and my mother--the latter of whom was more bluntly verbal but also more understanding and relational than my dad.

Yesterday, actually, I once more considered reading through the many letters and notecards my late spiritual da had written me over our 24 years of his spiritual guidance and friendship.  He of all persons on earth, knew my soul and person best, as far as my religious life, spiritual experiences, and my relationship with His Real Presence.  He and I were, in his words, anam cara.  When the soul is involved, and someone knows and loves one's soul, there is a supernatural love that runs deep and wide; yet it is also a love that is not biological or physiological.  

I am blessed with much love that is within a thought's reach--far closer and accessible than an email or phone call of anyone on earth.  I will ponder such love today; and I will consider those for whom I love in the ways that are greatest in the ways of love and what matters to the human soul.  My own accessibility to other persons' need for love and understanding is, also, the greater when in faith, I am but an instantaneous thought, a supernatural prayer, away.  (What is prayer if not divinely supernatural?)

Hope exists in faith, and hope and faith exist in love.  Helplessness exists in suffering; but therein also thrives hope, faith, and love when we know our soul existence is in His Real Presence:  God the Father, the Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit.  No matter the reality of helplessness that exists in suffering, temporally and spiritually--mystically eternally--are the realities of faith, hope, and love.  

Love of God in Himself and love of others in our love of God proves powerful over pain's helplessness.  Even in the worst of suffering when our minds seem helpless against the various pains of all sorts of sufferings, His Real Presence is with us, in us.  God's hope, God's faith, God's love flow and fill every cell, every fiber, every infinite intangible of our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls.

Helplessness, although an earthly reality, should not be feared nor spurned.  Helplessness is as it is--a state of not being able to do for ourselves physically or even mentally or emotionally, nor to do for or alter how it is for those around us or those who are not in proximity.  While we may not think about how helpless we are when we have physical health, the actuality is that we are helpless in so many tangible and intangible ways.  This is the reality of our human condition.

Only can we survive the reality of our helplessness, through, with, and in His Real Presence.  I mean, only in God, only in Jesus, only in the Holy Spirit can our earthly helplessness be made tolerable and not a negative, not a feared and terrible take-over in our lives.  Wait and pray; pray without knowing we are praying.  There is prayer in the simplicity of the waiting--even the feeling of helplessness waitwhen waiting is the prayer, when the pain of the various sufferings in our lives is our prayer.  God provides, somehow, someway, the faith, hope, and love that we need to endure and by which we understand others, by which we stand a chance to prove helplessness to be simply a thing of this woring.

I don't know how God does it, but He does.  He gets us through our helplessness one way or another when we wait and pray,ld that exists, causes a flurry of thoughts and emotions, but is not capable of destroying our souls.

Faith, hope, and love of God in Himself and of and for others, keep the helplessness of suffering in it's place as a thing not to be feared nor spurned...just a thing that exists in the temporal that one way or another, God brings us through, over, or around.  Helplessness is not forever.  Wait and pray.  Only God is forever.  Remain in His Love.

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit: Pain Severe

The pain is so severe this morning that it feels difficult to breathe.  Extremely fatigued so hard to have energy to breathe beyond little and not often.  Body is burning with quite a bit of pain, and am trying to consider that it is as "taking bullets" for souls--including this hermit's own soul!

It is not easy to have such faith, to have come upon a thought, a potential reality that is of the spiritual aspect.  A part of me would say it is not so, the aspects of suffering and of souls, of being what I rather humorously term being a "soulbuster."  Yet there is not much other explanation for the situations and souls I encounter, repeatedly, with the very good souls of much largesse and depth, sprinkled into the life experience.

Regardless, this level of pain is sapping whatever energy and strength I might otherwise possess.  There are so many tasks in here that I could attempt to accomplish, but the pain is blinding and binding.  Perhaps I can try to get off the mattress and heat up yesterday's left over coffee. There is always the option to take more medication; but that, at this level of pain, will not do much to help unless taking that which is given for extreme episodes to knock the body out, essentially.

What a life to lead!  If the pain can be turned around some, with the spirit and body and mind and heart on top of the pain rather than it on top of my being, I can begin work on cutting cement board to construct the shower niche recessed box.  Yet, on days like this one, in which the pain has sapped the body of energy and the eyelids keep drooping into a kind of autonomic dozing, an escape-mode from pain, I wonder if I will ever be able to maintain the efforts here.

Yes, the entire body is in a kind of burning sensation, and beneath the burning is raw, intractable pain. The feet are so painful--perhaps best to try to stand on them and see if that helps to push some pain out?  Rather sickening, really.  This is all part of this consecrated heart and soul's existence, daily life, spiritual being, Christian essence, hermit and suffering vocation, legacy:  so very much pain in so many aspects. 

Was this how Jesus felt when on the cross?  I believe so.  He existed on this earth as long as His body was able to function.  This is so for each of us, as well.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, for God Is Love!

Catholic Hermit Still Around...

Been very tired recently--working hard, praying much, striving to manage pain.

The Catholic deputy has sold their home and moving so that he and his family can attend a valid Catholic parish with licit Mass.  Found out this priest in area parish will be around another year or two.  Yet it does not change the parishioners' attitudes, for what happens to people when set in ways and wills?  Ran out the previous priest for being too spiritual, wanting adoration and the like.  Imagine that!

Yes, am very tired.  People do not return phone calls.  A friend from far away mentioned it is due to people texting rather than speaking.  For those of us with very old phones and not able to text, and not affording the costly plans of the more costly phones, makes life difficult such as trying to get helpers and workers for even minor tasks.

Would like to write some on a topic that is going to be meaningful tomorrow especially.  It is the 20th anniversary of a major mystical event--and probably very good that this consecrated Catholic hermit ponder it and remember the details.  It was in easier, more pleasant, lovelier time of life--still much pain in the body, but without the seeming hopelessness that comes at times, to pick at the fruit of whatever positive the hermit can ripen in the physical aspects of this existence.  (The birds have been plucking whatever fruit they can get once the hermit leaves the orchard area--still trying to get the bird netting in place even if they figured a way to pull away the netting over the strawberries!)

Perhaps this hermit needs to ponder the perseverance of these birds and pray for like perseverance, an instinctive perseverance, and without emotion of relationships and no need of return phone calls because no need for help with work.  Birds build their own nests, after all, and if they cannot manage it, they succumb to the reason they cannot--broken wing, illness, old age, pestilence, predators.

Now, on that note, must go out and change the sprinklers and soaker hose.  And then finish another wheelbarrow of mulch, and then get to the bird netting.  So much for the fake owl purchased at suggestion of clerk who said it really works.  Did seem to help keep the birds from returning to area of roof in which they previously could enter into Te Deum Hermitage; but they are undaunted by it when there is fruit to be scavenged.

Yes, this hermit needs some of that rather bold and ruthless energy and determination.  Please, Lord!

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, remain in His Love, and kindly be polite to others and return phone messages.  It is the charitable action; not everyone has texting capabilities, and even hermits need help now and then.  Birds do seem to work together, at times.

Catholic Hermit: Being a Branch

The Gospel of John (14) holds this truth for us--

"Jesus said to his disciples:  'I am the true vine, and my Father is the vine grower.
He takes away every branch in me that does not bear fruit,
and everyone that does he prunes so that it bears more fruit.
You are already pruned because of the word that I spoke to you."

Had not really noticed so very much the line that the Father takes away every branch that does not bear fruit.  Is that not stark?  It is, indeed, and Jesus says it and means it.  The Living Words that prick us sharply and deeply, are as true as those that give us those good feelings we so enjoy.  Yet His Living Words which are that other edge of the double-edged sword, are uplifting and helpful, if we perceive the truth, beauty, and goodness in all His Living Words.

This nothing consecrated Catholic hermit does a heart-soak in the line:  He takes away every branch in me that does not bear fruit.

Now, is it the fault of the vine if a branch here and there does not bear fruit?  An apple tree in the hermit's orchard area, has lost a branch.  For awhile it was hanging on by some branch-threads.  The hermit took some twine and wrapped a type of sling around the dangling branch--a significant branch in size and leaves and blooms, promising fruit had it not been for, no doubt, wind damage.  But the branch was too much injured, and the sling did not provide enough support to promote healing.  The hermit had to prune it to a stub, close to the apple tree's main trunk.

Had this hermit gotten around to using that branch and the other main off-shooting branches, as leaders in an espalier effort, the branch would have been secured to horizontal wire and supported, such as an espaliered apple tree would have.  But the hermit did not get around to it, and the winds came, and the branch was taken away.

Two of the hermit's adult children have been taken away, and with one of them, her two little girls, as well.  Like the apple tree branch, the relationships of the two adult children were not bearing fruit--not for the hermit, anyway.  These two offspring of the hermit have grown into adulthood and now have resentments toward the hermit, for various reasons mostly unknown to the hermit.  

Is it their unresolved hurts from childhood, from a divorce, from a chronically pained parent?  Is it spiritual differences?  Is it their living lives more out in the world and devoid of God and church (for now) and the hermit's life of striving to love God in Himself and desiring to remain in His love?

Or consider the former spouse whose earthly birthday was today.  Had to let God take that branch away, some 30 years ago.  What suffering and hardship unfolded in that branch removal--but also such deep-in new growth and fruitfulness! That branch had other desires than being on the same Tree-Vine as this branch desires, loves, strives, hopes to be.  (Being a branch that remains in Him is not a painless experience in the heart-wood of temporal life.  We are all vulnerable branches especially if we do not remain in Him.)

Regardless, like the apple tree branch that has been taken away, part of the reason is due to the hermit's actions or lack of actions, and part is due to unavoidable circumstances (the winds blow where they will); but all is ordained by God, for He takes away the branches that do not produce fruit. The branch was not producing fruit for the relationship--not for the hermit nor for the adult children, and ultimately not for God.  So He took those branches away.  And this hermit must let the branches go.  A branch on the tree cannot hold onto other branches that are broken and severed, no matter how much string is tied in attempts to keep them on the trunk.  

What we must realize is that new branches form, often from the stub of a removed branch, or near it.  So there is hope in all situations surrounding branches God takes away from our temporal and spiritual lives.  We must simply do our best to keep uplifting the branches around us as well as to be receptive to and desirous of being the best possible, fruitful branch, ourselves.

But as Jesus reminds, there will be persecution and trials from the world and those of the world, for remaining in His Love--and remaining in His Love always bears fruit of love for others.  So we might love to bits and pieces others--family members, strangers, and even those who have chosen to be our enemies.  

(Enemies who choose to dislike or turn against a branch--imagine that!  Sounds so silly and senseless, for why go to such effort of turning away from or attacking, either way, a branch?  Yet it does occur, sure enough.  It occurs as easily as a hermit who was tired out and chose to tend to other work and put off espaliering the apple tree.  It occurs as easily as winds blowing where they will, and of branches that are for various, temporal and spiritual reasons weak in some way or other.  These reasons could include our choosing to turn away from He Who is Strength and Power and Fruitful Love.)

When God takes away branches that are not bearing fruit, we should strive and pray and hope and do all possible on our parts to not be one of the branches taken away.  The remedy in our lives of being a branch--what is it?  We must listen to His Living Word--not only the Word of His Spoken Words but the Word of His Word as Truth and Life.  His Word Is the Way.  He Is the Word.  

We must remain in Him, as He remains in us.

We will then be a branch that is not taken away, even though some branches close or far from us might be taken away.  We will be pruned as needed, of course!  We must learn to welcome that, as it will help us produce more fruit.  But to be a branch that is taken away--that seems hopeless if not for the reality that new branches may grow close to or out from the stub-edges of the removed branch.  We can do nothing without Christ.  We must remain in Him due to His being in us, mere branches though we be.  All power can flow in us; all fruit can grow from us--the "us" as in "He is in us" and "we remain in Him."

"I am the vine, you are the branches.
Whoever remains in me and I in him will bear much fruit,
because without me, you can do nothing."

There is also hope for those branches that are taken away.  Not only is there hope in the potential for new branches to sprout, but also--such as with this hermit's apple tree and the branch taken away--the branch withers and dries out on the burn pile.  Once the fiery flames reduce the removed branch into ashes, the ashes will be used to enhance the soil of some trees that grow all the better due to soil with ashes. 

"Anyone who does not remain in me
will be thrown out like a branch and wither;
people will gather them and throw them into a fire
and they will be burned."

We ought not ever forget what happens to us or to any branch who does not remain in Him.  We will be taken away.  We will be taken away from others who are being fruitful branches because they remain in Him, the Trunk, the Vine, the Truth, the Way, the Life.  The branches who remain in Christ also have His Words remaining in them.  They bear yet more fruit.

For those who remain in Him, He promises that if we ask for whatever we want, it will be done for us.  What ought we ask?  
This hermit asks that the branches that have been taken away from it--any family members, friends, strangers, and enemies--sprout anew on the Trunk, the Vine, and become branches once again.   This hermit asks that the ashes from the branches taken away--that their withered, burned branch-ashes assist in the renewal and strengthening of all branches and that they all become one with His Real Presence.  

This hermit asks that in being a branch, it submits to whatever pruning necessary to remove its unfruitfulness and detrimental flaws.  (This hermit branch is not without blemishes!)  And the hermit asks, also, that being a fruitful branch be always its desire, and to ever remain in Him and He in it; and that being a branch glorifies the Father, bears much fruit, and is His disciple in this temporal earth and in all eternity.

"If you remain in me and my words remain in you,
ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you.
By this is my father glorified,
that you bear much fruit and become my disciples."

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little Branches, let us love one another!  Remain in His Love! Pray we be Branches always in Him, bearing much fruit.  Pray for Branches He takes away.  Pray for forgiveness for our sins that have in any way contributed to those Branches not bearing good fruit. Pray that out of ashes, Branches may sprout anew, and that we all be fruitful Branches together, remaining in Him now and forever.

A Commentary That Helps a Solitary Hermit

This commentary on a section of Thomas a Kempis' writings gives further substance and explanation of this nothing Catholic hermit's thoughts in previous post of the challenge for a very solitary hermit's daily and life-long journey.

From The Imitation of Christ, spiritual treatise of the 15th century, Book II, ch. 12 (trans. Robert Dudley)

"If anyone wishes to come after me, he must... take up his cross daily and follow me"

The commentary:

To many the word seems harsh; "Deny yourself, take up your cross and follow Jesus"... Why do you fear then to take up the cross, the way that leads to the kingdom?  In the cross you are saved, revived, protected.  In the cross you are showered with sweetness from on high, your mind is strengthened, your spirit rejoiced.  In the cross is virtue's sum, and perfect holiness.  In the cross alone is the hope of life eternal, the soul's salvation.  So take up your cross and follow Jesus; and you will enter eternal life....  For if you die with him, you shall also likewise live with him.  If you are his companion in punishment, so shall you be in glory.

Everything is founded on the cross....  There is no other way to life, nor to true inner peace....  Walk where you will, seek what you will; you will find neither a loftier way above nor a safer way below, but only the way of the holy cross.

Plan as you will, arrange as you see fit; all you will ever find is suffering you cannot help but bear; and so you will always find the cross.  You will either have bodily pain or mental and spiritual affliction.  Now God will leave you, again your fellow will provoke you; and what is more, you will often weigh heavy on yourself.  There is neither remedy to free you nor comfort to ease you.... For God will have you learn to endure affliction with total submission to himself and become more humble.... You must endure with patience everywhere, if you would be at peace within, and earn the lasting crown.

How Will We Be Found?

 From St. Peter's Epistle, Scripture of today's second reading in Mass:

But, in accordance with his promise, we wait for new heavens and a new earth, where righteousness is at home. Therefore, beloved, while you are waiting for these things, strive to be found by him at peace, without spot or blemish....

This nothing Catholic hermit prays and hopes it will be found by His Real Presence to be at peace, and without spot or blemish.  As for strong faith that it will be found thus, needs a bit more prayerful effort.  Faith in that hope butts heads with the mind's thinking about how difficult to not sin.  Sin causes spots and blemishes.

Was pondering this morning, growing up Protestant.  All was very good, loving, with marvelously loving and moral people in my parents' circle of friends and family.  They were not without trials and sins, but it was all the more amazing because they did not have conscious knowledge of the various virtues and vices, other than in generic terms.  We had nothing to go on other than the power of His Living Word and passed down moral ethics and Puritan values.  This hermit considered, had it when young, the writings of holy people--the saints, mystics, and of their lives--plus books on virtues, it would have appreciated learning and practicing these, consciously. Yet it had the examples of some very good people who stayed out of trouble, due to their virtues even if not labeling them as such.

Even now, it is a privilege to learn more about the virtues and to practice them, and to learn how to identify the vices and try to eliminate those.  Yet, of the family and friends considered, they do well based upon moral values of right versus wrong in broader terms, in more generic ways.  Scripture is a most powerful sacrament, and the Ten Commandments and Beatitudes are profound. 

But this nothing Catholic hermit delights in learning all matters about the soul, about any ways in which one can strive to be found by Him at peace, without spot or blemish.  Having access to books that explain the devil, angels, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, God the Father, the Virgin Mary, the saints, the three ways of the spiritual life--as well as some who enjoy learning and practicing the faith in more specific manner--is joy to this nothing hermit.

We are all different in what delights and in ways helpful to our soul's progression.  Today am preparing the body, mind, heart and soul for the practicing the little exercise with others who thankfully find much at issue with this hermit's way of being, way of expressing.  

A spiritual friend called last night, hoping the hermit was not as cold as a week ago.  Progress in that.  But mentioned the little exercise and how it has come about, and the friend mentioned a woman who she found to be fascinating and could light up a room, but that others disliked the same woman as being too dramatic, too potent in presence.

Considered two Terry's.  Teresa of Avila's personality and way of expression was different than Therese of Lisieux's.  Some were irked by one or the other.  Some found both appealing with understanding that the externals do not so much matter other than to enjoy the uniqueness, as one would flowers and trees.

It is amazing how some people love pitbulls and are able to train them without incident of their known aggressive traits.  This hermit would not go there with that breed, personally.  So it is fair to discern what one can risk and what one is better off not attempting to adopt.  But it does remind us, such as with flowers, that perhaps we ought detach from tremendous likes and dislikes in such aspects of externals.  

Why like a rose and then dislike some other type of flower?  Just like them all!  Appreciate their beauty in being God's creation.  Why like one color and dislike another?  Why not love them all for their amazing qualities?

Perhaps we ought learn, in our process of virtuous ascent, to detach from disliking  this and that, unless it is sin.  We ought dislike sin and keep as far away from it and its influence, as possible.  And as we all sin, then dislike that part of us enough to try to change it, to remove the spot and blemish.  If another is sinning, then dislike that but make sure we recognize the difference between sin and personality traits.  If a personality trait becomes sinful in nature, then dislike that.

Surliness comes to mind, or temper, or melancholy.  This nothing hermit struggles against melancholy and despair. Yes, there are physical reasons (intense, constant pain) that  urge the sorrows and despairs, but this hermit always prays and strives to overcome that aspect.  It has not yet succeeded in eradicating it, but it keeps hoping and striving for that beautiful goal of overcoming.  And it understands when others need to avoid or put boundaries for themselves, when the nothing hermit is suffering extra much.

Yet others are able to reach in and encourage, and to remind the hermit that its pain must be too high, and that it will get through it.  When cold and down, blemished and spotted by darkness of spirit and low in desire to endure, some nurtured and others did not.  One wrote that everyone has problems; two others wrote this hermit could come live with them in their lovely, warm homes until it got warmer here.  One sent a small check, with a note saying it hoped could be helpful.  That check caused the hermit to get a portable heater, and also stirred the mind to try to work all the more so that it could someday help the person who sent it, or help someone else in need.

So we can learn to recognize our own and others' sins and weaknesses; but we also can learn how to respond in order to help them pull out, to erase the spots and heal the blemishes.  All the positive does help us all to come to more peace.  Bending to those who do not yet see or grasp how to help those who cannot realize to love the otherwise not-sinful externals, is worth learning.

In other words, if a person or more dislike the particular flower that we are, we can by example, ourselves, appreciate all flowers.  And, we can bend our own stems and take on hues and scents that may assuage the others' dislikes, at least a little.  Someday, they may learn to remove particular disliking of externals that are not sins and rather are the peace-scents of life itself. 

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, for love bears all things (but not sin, or so we are taught).  May we be found, in peace, without spot or blemish!

Psalm 118: Lovely Excerpts for Hermits, or Anyone

"In danger I called on the LORD;

the LORD answered me and set me free.

The LORD is with me; I am not afraid;

what can mortals do against me?

The LORD is with me as my helper....

Better to take refuge in the LORD

than to put one’s trust in mortals.

Better to take refuge in the LORD

than to put one’s trust in princes....

I was hard pressed and falling,

but the LORD came to my help.

The LORD, my strength and might,

has become my savior.

The joyful shout of deliverance

is heard in the tents of the righteous:

The LORD’s right hand works valiantly....

I shall not die but live

and declare the deeds of the LORD.

The LORD chastised me harshly,

but did not hand me over to death.

Open the gates of righteousness;

I will enter and thank the LORD

This is the LORD’s own gate,

through it the righteous enter.

I thank you for you answered me;

you have been my savior.

The stone the builders rejected

has become the cornerstone.

By the LORD has this been done;

it is wonderful in our eyes.

This is the day the LORD has made;

let us rejoice in it and be glad.

LORD, grant salvation!

LORD, grant good fortune!

Blessed is he

who comes in the name of the LORD.

We bless you from the house of the LORD."

Yes, let us bless one another from the house of the Lord, for His Real Presence has His abode in us, and us in Him.  His Real Presence and us--through, with, and in Him--bless you from His house.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Blessings from our and His home.

Aspects That Drain, What Fills?

Was geared up to try to get out of bed today, to begin doing any of the overwhelming amount of work to be done in here.  But am COLD!  It is very cold in here, and to keep warm, stay in bed.  Still am praying for the courage and energy, to try to dress in layers (wearing flannel pj's and sock hat and under three blankets), and to do anything physical. It will have to upstairs; downstairs is definitely too cold.  Praise God that heat rises and does not waft out laterally!

This morning prayed Scriptures and Divine Office.  All very good, of course, and up-lifting.  St. Augustine's writings in Office of Readings is appropriate to current situation of body and soul.

Then read an online blog by a Catholic artist.  Had not viewed it in three or so years.  It is very clever, and intelligently written, has humor inserted and clever graphics.  Clever seems to be the operative word.  But clever left this nothing hermit all the more cold.

The blog depressed, and am not sure why other than the clever if not too-clever, too-brilliant, too-sure view:  of others, of Church, of world, of self.  All the clever and humorous and witty and pithy aspects somehow drained the spirit in this hermit, that had started to fill in from Scriptures and spiritual reading, prior.  Perhaps, also, the other blogger's mention of aspects of temporal Catholic Church, clerics, and political parts therein, depleted what reservoir of faith and hope within this hermit who is struggling with harsh physical circumstances, and no one to whom to turn for assistance other than His Real Presence.

And the Trinity is the best One to be turning to, obviously.  This hermit reflected upon persons, upon blog-writers, in general, and the elements of being entertaining, clever, of pedantic pontificating--along with bucketfuls of the temporal world and temporal church--and how they tend to douse this soul's fervor for the unitive way.  It all seems to place the spiritual so far out of reach and reality, that the temporal in its clever disguises, places a pall over the soul itself.

Then, this nothing cold hermit considered its own blog, here, and wondered if there is anything of good or helpful mentioned with any humility, or if it attempts any of the too-clever and too-sure-of-itself aspects, or thinks it superior in knowledge and pontificating?

With that wondering horror, and not knowing if this blog reeks (or not) of what doused the spirit of this hermit this morning by viewing blogs out there in the cyberworld, it must force itself to rise from what warmth it has garnered under the covers.  It must strip in order to dress in layers of blessed jeans and tops, folded and stored in a small laundry basket.  This nothing hermit must do something, some kind of manual labor, for that and prayer are the main antidotes to despondency.

And in diagnosing despondency as a result of having viewed some blogs, the reason surely must be, at root, too much of the world inserted into them.  The world is not evil in itself.  But the world is not heaven.  And when cleverness and self-assuredness of and in the world (even of and maybe especially of the church) become overbearing and in contradiction to the way of the Cross, and the humility of Jesus, then it is too much world, too little heavenly fresh air, too few, hopeful steps up God's holy mountain.

And this nothing Catholic hermit's blog may not be, either, less of the world and not near enough of climbing gear.  And, it may not touch others, or it may have the same effect as the other blogs had on this hermit's soul, this morning.  Yet we keep writing, us bloggers, and obviously hope to touch others for whatever reasons, if not also to try to touch ourselves, to uproot our lack, and thereby to try to touch the heart of God.

What His Real Presence drains, His Real Presence will fill.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another as God loves, and be humbled, ourselves, in His love, remain in His love.  

Another Consolation

Ten days ago this hermit had a beautiful consolation from His Real Presence.  It was of the supernatural variety (pneuma of the Holy Spirit, spiritual perfume, scent of roses).  Today the hermit received another beautiful consolation from His Real Presence, but this time it was of the temporal variety.

In the early morning hours, when awakened by much physical pain, in the various thoughts while trying to manage the pain, thoughts of a religious group who have been ordering some of the hermit's Love of God Bourbon balls, came to mind.  Next the hermit had a bit of impetus to make some Fortitude Fudge, perhaps at the daughter's when next visiting.  There was much love in the thoughts of the religious group, and warmth rose in the heart toward the one who places the orders--not often, but enough to keep the hermit's hands in the sweets.

A couple hours later, there came an email, placing another order for the St. Bernard Love of God Bourbon Balls, as well as some samples to sell of Fortitude Fudge!  Such fun to have the early morning thoughts correlate with the religious group desiring more and a willingness to try some Fortitude, as well!

It was a consolation that got this hermit up from the warm bed and starting the manual labor that is not going away by magic.  And, in order to make the fudge, the hermit will now be forced (by a joyous order) to finally unpack the pots and pans, as there is a special copper pot the hermit uses for confection-making.  All this will occur at an off-site kitchen, of course.  Not until Te Deum Hermitage is in pristine condition, will there be orders made on site.

So, while working away, clearing out the last of the critter nests in the last of the wall and ceiling being gutted from this entire farm house, the warmth of the practical, temporal consolation kept the hermit in loving prayer for the poor and praise of God for all the good He provides to all His creatures--human and otherwise.

There has been much progress here, for one thing.  No longer does the hermit register disgust or horror with what was let go in here for so many years.  Creatures will seek warmth, naturally; but there are ways to keep them outside where is their more natural habitat, and keeping the hermitage for the hermit.

Ever since the heat pump man announced his $120 per hour, hourly wage, and the hermit wrote a check, for it needed the heat pump working, there has been the thought that surely the Lord will provide some income.   Something must off-set what seems an outrageous hourly wage for someone who was on the phone to tech support for two hours, needing to be told what to do about the heat pump that had ceased operating after a power surge....

However, the hermit is practicing allowing love to take over; and it is a good thing that the heat pump man has a very healthy self-esteem and considers his time that valuable.  While the hermit's proceeds from making little love balls and fudge with some fortitude are quite modest, even $3 per hour is better than nothing.  It all adds up, and the hermit has oft reminded itself that the main work is the prayers for whoever will be eating the Bourbon balls and fudge, anyway.

But God provides temporal consolations, also.  And he allows temporal desolation in order to strengthen us in patience, temperance, fortitude, faith, hope, love....  The desolation of the high cost of repairing the heat pump (labor only) went by without much upset.  But there is always more challenge in the spiritual life, and today's consolation will not be the last one, nor will the $120 hourly heat pump man's wage be the last desolation to face.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another!  Remain in His Love--consolation, desolation--remain in His Love!

Kingdom of God

The kingdom of God is within us.  And Jesus explains in a parable, the kingdom of God in ways that we can grasp.

Luke 13:18-21 

 He said therefore, ‘What is the kingdom of God like? And to what should I compare it? It is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in the garden; it grew and became a tree, and the birds of the air made nests in its branches.’ 

Within us is the kingdom of God, for He and the Father and the Holy Spirit have entered in and made their abode.  He is in us and we are in His Real Presence.  This seems to be the reason why what seems small or uniquely individual, can grow to immense proportions, and thus can hold all things, all thoughts, all essence, within it. 

This hermit is pondering these matters of the kingdom of God.  All is within, and from within, without.  God and His kingdom encompass all of Him, all of His creation, all of His wisdom, power and might.  So much is within us, if we view it from our inner perspective.  But when we view from the perspective that we are within His Real Presence Who Is, and we are within Him, we can begin to grasp the fathomless kingdom and how it grows, love upon love.

Today the lungs are feeling stuffy.  The heat pump man did not show up yesterday even though he said he was on his way.  Always must consider that an accident could happen, or illness.  However, this morning he did come after calling him, and he had no valid reason for yesterday.  

But yesterday does not matter.  Did not ask, did not mention the untruth told that he was "on his way" and would be here shortly.  No, the past does not matter.  Just the present moment in this case, particularly, for one cannot force others to do when they say or to even be honest when in a sales pitch mode.

He took various aspects of the heat pump apart and consulted via phone to techs and electricians.  The end result is that the circuit board was "blown" and the fan burned out in a power surge.  This hermit will have to pay for labor costs, and that will be substantial, for out in the desert, the folks charge immense fees for hourly labor.  And, the heat pump, after all, is now not such a good investment for staying warm or cool, if it can go out in a major way, with a storm.  When the warranty is over, the costs will be substantial for the parts in addition to the labor.

Such are the effects of the 21st century for a hermit with a hermitage.  When a hermit intersects with people in the world, the results can be rather problematic, for the world can be quite a treacherous place with people who do not share the moral values that a consecrated religious ought embrace.  

And, as this hermit has discovered, in various areas, even the Catholic faithful can be problematic.  Some of that depends upon the priestly leadership, but much depends upon the individual souls as well as their group mentality, when not particularly inclined to the spiritual or Scripture but more to the social aspects of being a Catholic.  Some call it "Catholic in name only."

The hermit monk up the road said they had come to this area as a means to try to evangelize or be a statement of Christ in the midst of pagans.  They include Roman Catholics as those who have lost their way, and perhaps in all honesty, they may have a point in some aspects.  

This hermit thinks of Bl. Charles de Foucald who went into the Sahara and lived among the Muslims, far from any Christians, and without knowing the language.  He wanted to live his life as a mirror of Christ among them, and to evangelize without words but through his lived example.

He was shot and killed after a few short years of his hermit life.  Some Muslims thought he was helping the French, providing them with guns in the battles of World War One--although they were not the Muslims of his area.  He had lived peaceably and lovingly among them, on the outskirts of their village, without incident.  But he was betrayed to these others.

The example of Christ this hermit can provide here, is mostly external.  A handful over the last 18 months have commented if they pass and speak, that the gardens are looking beautiful.  The Catholic deputy sheriff noticed the religious statues outside.  Other than that, the example of Christianity must come with one-to-one interactions with the few workers who have been here, and in some of the cases, the workers had to be let go, or the main contractor had to be confronted for over-charging and not doing proper work--not that telling him did any good to change the outcome.

So mostly, this hermit prays.  And this hermit strives to increase love of God and to learn and grow, perhaps like the mustard seed.  It strives to increase, to simply increase, in little ways.  Today it has determined to practice the S of Serenity.  This hermit stayed jovial and patient when a circuit "blew" when plugging in a space heater to try to keep the downstairs a bit warmer so as to work on insulation.  That caused two phone calls to the electrician, who was dumbfounded with why the outlets then would not work.  

Ended up being a simple communication difference, concerning the GFI outlets.  In these particular outlets, when the light is "on", the power is not flowing through the outlet.  When the light is off but has been reset, there is power.  He was describing the opposite, but such details for an electrician can sometimes be lost in the rendering over the phone, as they are so used to simply doing this or that without thinking about it. 

The heat pump man finally figured out the problem with the heat pump, and he does not know how long to get parts in.  The other outlet issues are solved, and the hermit remains calm despite facing financial ruination in a matter of two or three months, unless God provides in some unexpected way.  

In other words, there will be no more monetary outlay for materials or hired help after two or three months, and the hermit will need to either try to continue existing in here with whatever work is done from materials in hand, or at least try to survive until better weather to finish painting the house.  Whatever can be done, must be done, by the hermit, in order to hopefully be able to sell a place that most likely will not be nearly salable other than a cash offer, and grossly discounted price.

The daughter called and offered the hermit to come to their place far away in civilization, until the heat pump is operable, but this hermit said it must remain steady and in faith, and to keep working on the insulation and cutting pieces of wood to fit between studs in areas where the rats can come up from the crawlspace.  Yesterday there was progress, and today there is.  That is the plan, anyway, to stay with the "ship", for even a week away will be a week into colder desert days and nights.

Serenity rules.  And there is the determination (surely of God because this hermit could easily despair!) to keep working and praying.  The spiritual communions will continue, the practice of the Nine S will continue, the rest breaks and whatever else will continue, for the kingdom of God is within this hermit because this hermit is within His Real Presence Who Is the Kingdom of God.  Despite temporal losses and so many glitches that friends and family are starting to notice it is not normal, but we have the Book of Job and so many examples of obstacles in the path for those who desire union with His Real Presence above all else.

The soul must be purified, and this soul here certainly has so many rough edges that an unusual amount of obstacles are needed to file the roughness, to help the hermit learn and grow and grasp the immensity of the kingdom of God within.  Faith, hope, and love, and especially love, are the nutrients to help the growth.  Since God Is Love, love is the key to the kingdom of God and our abiding within His Real Presence, for truly we are in Him even though He is so sweet to word it that He has come to make His abode in us.

Jesus is always the gentleman.  He is the perfect Beloved.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Or, rather, God bless us in His Real Presence, and God bless His Real Presence for allowing us to be in Him!  And of course, let us all love one another, for God is love, and His kingdom exists due to love!