Catholic Hermit: Born of the Spirit

I would like to write more thoughts of the apostle John's quoting of Jesus, regarding being born of the Spirit compared to be being of flesh. Of course, we are all and all living things in essence born of the flesh, born of temporal matter.  But in order to enter into God in fullness of reality in depth of interior far beyond and in essence meaningful, we must be born of the spirit.

"Jesus answered, 'Amen, amen, I say to you, no one can enter the kingdom of God without being born of water and Spirit.  What is born of flesh is flesh, and what is born of spirit is spirit.  Do not be amazed that I told you, 'You must be born from above.'

"'The wind blows where it wills, and you can hear the sound it makes, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes; so it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.'"

I'm trying to distract from physical pain as well as from a conglomeration of thoughts and memories--flashbacks--that have been bombarding since late yesterday, due to the coming phone appointment with the only priest I know of now alive and on earth, who I feel somewhat secure in turning to for help with spiritual and temporal discernment. 

While today's Gospel reading is that which speaks deeply to my soul, I have returned to this [above] Scripture from John 3:5-8.  It, also, addresses the dilemma that I face as a Christian, a Catholic, a Catholic hermit, a Catholic mystic, a Catholic victim soul, a human being in later years of temporal life--and somewhere along the spiraling double helix of spiritual development and growth.

I've yet to delve into spiritual reading such as by the late Archbishop Luis Martinez's work, The Sanctifier [the Holy Spirit].  The friend who emails now and then from afar who found the abridged and updated version by Sophia Institute Press under title True Devotion to the Holy Spirit, a week ago or so already wrote that the writing became complicated.  The person has returned to what brings more comfort and sensibility to mind and heart and soul--for that person--and that is in reading Scripture amidst other means of balancing out a lay person's temporal and spiritual existence which is more homebound due to the COVID-19 pandemic as well as being an octogenarian.

The person wrote last week that of anything I wrote in an email, the following line seemed providential and expressive of that person's difficulty in continuing the book.  I admit that the words came to me without my later recall, and I found it as if new to read, when she quoted what I'd described of my recent and current status when trying to read spiritual books, regardless how classic and profound.  

For me, I think it is a phase in addition to temporal intrusions:  higher pain consistently, the use of external distractions to cope, the increased hours spent bed-bound, the push of mind over body to try to do a few tasks around the hermitage and in the garden, and the looming situation I must discern, decide upon, and act or not act of which either one will be action.

The statement that had such impact according to the older correspondent and spiritual seeker, a Christian and Catholic of many decades, is this:

"Too many words upon words without touchstone of some sort of accessible reality."

It is a statement of providential temporal-spiritual status.  Some writings of spiritual merit do tend to become, truly, too many words upon words without touchstone of some sort of accessible reality."

But then there is the Scripture.  In the Living Word of God, always we have words, yes, but there always are touchstones of accessible reality.  Always.  And the touchstones vary as to which any given seeker, observer, reader finds to grab hold or to have the Word of words, to grab hold of our minds, hearts, and/or souls.

Thus, if all else seems to be too much, and we are unable to find a touchstone, a foothold or hand-hold to reach out and grab and retain even in the present moment or a bit longer, there is always Scripture for us that will always be not just words upon words, but Living Word allowing us to grab hold  of touchstones or of touchstones that grab hold of us.  We find accessible reality in God's Word.

God's Word be it Scripture or otherwise, speak in essence of profundity, of Holy Spirit love, to the soul that is born from above, that is born of the Spirit.  That which is of the Spirit is accessible and real to those who have been born of the Spirit.  There is no temporal way to explain it otherwise; those born of the Spirit grasp.

I'll now try to silence the words upon words that tend to constantly flow through my mind from without to within and within to without.  I need to be stilled enough to express what needs to be presented for the priest to absorb and then to give wise discretion and guidance to my listening mind, heart, and soul in order to determine an outer action or non-action, both of which will be inner action.

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Illegal Catholic Hermit: Pattern of Spiritual Practice

Sharing another of St. Philotheos' wise instructions from his Forty Texts on Watchfulness [nepsis], much if not all can be applicable to any Catholic hermit.  

[Note:  "noetic" is from the Greek noesis/ noetikos, meaning inner wisdom, direct knowing, or subjecting understanding.  As defined by the philosopher William James (1902), noetic refers to "states of insight into depths of truth unplumbed by the discursive intellect.  They are illuminations, revelations, full of significance and importance, all inarticulate though they remain, and as a rule they carry with them a curious sense of authority..."]


"2.  When engaged in noetic warfare, we should therefore do all we can to choose some spiritual practice from divine Scripture and apply it to our intellect like a healing ointment.  From dawn we should stand bravely and unflinchingly at the gate of the heart, with true remembrance of God and unceasing prayer of Jesus Christ in the soul; and, keeping watch with the intellect, we should slaughter all the sinners of the land (Ps 101:8). 

"Given over in the intensity of our ecstasy to the constant remembrance of God, we should for the Lord's sake cut off the heads of the tyrants (Hab 3:14), that is to say, should destroy hostile thoughts at their first appearance.  For in noetic warfare, too, there is a certain divine practice and order.  Thus we should force ourselves to act in this way until it is time for eating.  

"After this, having thanked the Lord who solely by virtue of His compassion provides us with both spiritual and bodily food, we should devote ourselves to the remembrance of death and to meditation on it.  The following morning we should courageously resume the same sequence of tasks.  Even if we act daily in this manner we will only just manage, with the Lord's help, to escape from the meshes of the noetic enemy. 

"When this pattern of spiritual practice if firmly established in us, it gives birth to the triad:  faith, hope, and love.  Faith disposes us truly to fear God.  Hope, transcending servile fear, binds us to the love of God, since 'hope does not disappoint' (Matt. 22:40).  And 'love never fails' (1 Cor. 13:8), once it has become to him who shares in it the motive for fulfilling the divine law both in the present life and in the life to be." 

The habitual practice of training our minds, our intellects, by the training of the will to choose some aspect of Holy Scripture and apply it to our minds will bring a healing, as the saint mentions.  Plus, the remembrance of God and with the attitude of unceasing prayer (not necessarily the mentally conscious prayer so much as subconscious love of Christ in form of prayer in the soul) will help keep watch over our intellects, our thoughts.

Destroying "hostile thoughts at their first appearance" is a training of the mind and will.  Through daily practice of remembering God and the prayer of Jesus [the saint likely means the Jesus Prayer:  Lord, Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner], we will develop a strength of mind and heart that is ordered and freed from "the meshes of the noetic enemy."

St. Philotheos points out that when we have this spiritual practice established in our daily lives, we will live out faith, hope, and love to a degree of union in the divine law of God's love:  Union with God.

I will try to practice more a pattern of spiritual practice that forms my intellect and will based on a Scripture selection or verse, and to pray the Jesus Prayer in its essence if not striving in praying it specifically as much as possible with the conscious, and then asking my angel to help me hold the intent in my subconscious.  

While physical pain or other tasks do distract the conscious mind, surely with asking His Real Presence, the Virgin Mary, and our angels to help in spiritual practice, we can find ourselves more in tune with faith, hope, and love and in approaching union with God in increasing measure and holy effect.  Worth trying and putting into practice, what will be helpful to whatever extent:  Spiritual progress!

God bless His Real Presence in us!

[I admit that the pain level has been so high lately, that I'm having to offer the pain instead of much focused spiritual efforts in training the will and keeping watch on the intellect.  However, today in doing quite a bit of standing in an act of charity, of thoughtfulness of other, I did consider my vow of consecration of suffering and how indeed I did offer many aspects if not all, of suffering.  Also, I need to practice reacting in love to calumny and indignities I find myself suffering.  So I did that--tried to patiently pray and react with loving attitude within my mind and heart; and the situation did somewhat turn from what it had been to much better.  But the Good Lord is allowing me pain that has me feeling at times as if in another reality!  Suffering seems long, sometimes....]

Catholic Hermit: Needing Strength

Today this pained, Catholic hermit is needing strength of His Real Presence.  Angel (person who used to bring me the consecrated Host for Holy Communion about once a week) must still be away.  While she'd given to the parish nurse her list of those to whom she brought the consecrated Host, evidently no substitute parish visitor took up the blessed task.  So His Real Presence is needed here in Solus Deus Hermitage in the various other ways we Catholics can receive Eucharist [see post on Eucharist and Hermit].

The physical pain remains at higher level than what it had been.  No progress in being able to be up, walk a little bit, do the minimal, physical therapy exercises, or in stamina to stand in kitchen such as to make oatmeal.  The pain simply yet noticeably rises when I am up and out of bed, off the icy pad therein.  

The physical therapist on her final visit 10 days ago said to give her updates now and then.  This morning I texted my current plight of this week, and of my needing to accept and adapt to the reality that I am an invalid, 2 1/2 months post spinal surgery.  I've had to cut back on the very limited walking and other aspects of self-care like getting food from fridge or changing out the ice pump ice, twice a day.  I mentioned my sleep is now but five hours at night, if that.  Perhaps I must return to the additional medication at night--as I've had to otherwise increase the other medication, essentially, by taking it in closer intervals?  I also wonder, and texted thus, is the shift in weather into autumn also causing increased pain?

The physical therapist texted back that I should try to get in to see the surgeon sooner.  I responded with this additional reality:  there is nothing the surgeon can say or do about this fact of yet-higher pain than prior to surgery and higher pain than a week ago.  Is the walking and minimal physical therapy exercises plus my cooking a few pieces of chicken breast (last Sunday) too much?  I'm already 99% bedridden--getting up for necessity of basic self-sufficiency and doing the minimal, basic body movements like walking up and down the stairs 2-3 times a day for exercise, and standing at base of stairs 2-3 times a day with one foot on first step, and lifting the other leg and body, up to 10 times each side.  Was trying to do the modified "plank" exercise too much?  Perhaps! 

What could or would the surgeon say to me?  He already said a month ago that he's convinced it is 85% chance that my pain will be less.  But it is not, at least not thus far.  Yes, it is less than immediately after the surgery--the acute pain that comes with invasive repair work, particularly on the spine.  However, I am not at all making progress these past few weeks and in fact am currently in regression in being able to tolerate pain that is definitely increased, even when on my back, in bed, on this icy pad.  Nerve pain down the hips and legs are definitely increased, too.

The painful ordeal that would be even worse the day after sitting in a car to ride to and from surgeon's office, my mind cannot agree to attempting--especially when, truly, the surgeon can say nor do anything to change the reality of my outcome at this point.  The pain should not be going in this reverse direction; but it is, and the only action is to accept and adapt, and for now to not physically "do" other than the least problematic aspects of getting up for necessities.  

The PT suggested my keeping a log of activities. I have been doing so.  I'm not up the 8 times a day I had been.  If this pain is partly due to the cooler weather, there is nought I can do about it.  I know for a fact that remaining in bed more is not helpful to increasing the endorphins (brain chemical that helps body manage pain); but what if the pain is such that being up increases pain more than what staying reclined proffered?

I'm exhausted with and by pain.  I reminded the PT that she'd said to check in now and then, and this is probably more my attempt to accept and adapt to the invalid status at least for now by writing the issues to someone whose done her best to instruct me in what is usually for-the-best.  However, I'm in a situation now that seems best-to-face.  Perhaps over time, this higher level of pain will simmer down.  Writing of it in this blog helps a little in the necessary acceptance and adaptation process the mind and heart must make when the hoped-for outcome is not happening, for now.  I always must add the "for now."  Only God is forever.

This broken record even of writing of the reality of this pain is so repetitive.  It gets old. So I turn, as always, increasingly to God, for only God knows and only God is forever.

The first reading from the prophet Nehemiah gifts with the Eucharist we receive in the Living Word of God.  This portion of what is being proclaimed today at Masses the world over  unites me in communion, as well, with the entire Body of Christ--souls including many others with sufferings, others in the Church, others in His Real Presence on this side and on the other side, for all eternity.

"'Do not be saddened this day,
for rejoicing in the LORD must be your strength!'
And the Levites quieted all the people, saying,
'Hush, for today is holy, and you must not be saddened.'
Then all the people went to eat and drink,
to distribute portions, and to celebrate with great joy,
for they understood the words that had been expounded to them."

My main takeaway of this scriptural, "daily bread,"  this "bread of life," are the words of exhortation:

"Do not be saddened this day, 
for rejoicing in the LORD must be your strength!"

I will rise now, for third time this morning, now that the medication has gotten into the physical body enough to help manage the pain of being upright and ambulating.  I will do the few steps involved in removing the thawed out water bottles in the ice pump and exchange with frozen water bottles from the freezer.  The reacher-grabber tool helps, as well as the walker which I use to transport items due to the convenient walker tray.  I will rejoice in the Lord, and if feasible, will get the oatmeal bowl soaking, then brush and rinse out the already sudsy-soaking oatmeal saucepan.

I will try walking up and down the stairs one time and do the leg-strengthening exercise using the bottom step of the stairs--the stairs I've named as "the stairway to Heaven."  In all matters--yes--I must turn to the Lord, hush my thoughts and pain with the reminder that today is holy.  And I will not be saddened this day no matter the physical pain; rejoicing in the Lord must be my strength!

Truly, God IS my joy and strength.  I'd written an article that was published in The Liguourian years ago, titled "When Healing Doesn't Come."  I might try to locate it and share it with you readers, for I know the Holy Spirit guided my thoughts and typing fingers when I wrote it, back then.  Even though the increased pain and the bit of increased medication makes me extra fatigued, turning to the Lord always awakens our awareness of His tender, loving care. 

Rejoicing in the Lord--must be our strength!

God bless His Real Presence in us, all ways and always!

Catholic Hermit Considers What Is Greater

 Jesus said:  "I tell you, something greater than the temple is here." 

Then He continues to explain that He desires not sacrifice, but mercy.

For a couple days or so I've been mulling this Scripture.  Then yesterday came a forwarded email of one bishop responding to a "famous" priest; their views differ greatly on morals and church law, both.  One is what some would call conservative or orthodox (sticks with Scripture and also canon law), and the other would be considered liberal or progressive (is heavy on love of all types and bending--I guess we could call it--canon law.

I found myself not that interested in the situation or debate, back and forth. 

By now, most Christians who have read Scripture and strive in the Christian life, know right from wrong, know pretty much what Jesus says in the Gospels and also what God has set forth in the Pentateuch (first five books of Bible, Old Testament), as well as the preaching and lives of the prophets, the Psalmists, and the books and letters written by the apostles.

The temporal aspects of how increasingly laws have been created in attempts to further clarify right from wrong, do weary me.  So many canon laws, and truly very difficult to enforce them; and more laws created to try to help enforce, only compound the ridiculous aspect of the temporal intrusion and the sadness that we simply cannot live out what God wants and decrees as best.

I return to John of the Cross and others who floated above the temporal, for the most part, although they existed on earth and rode the daily life through to the end.  As for the spiritual life--that is where they floated and kept with God in love and mercy.

The scripture mentioned at the beginning of this blog post, has to do with Jesus' reaction to the flack His disciples received for crushing heads of grain to eat on the sabbath.  They were hungry; they used energy to take action to make the grain edible; and they ate.  Jesus lumped the legalism in with the Temple, for that is where many priests and others had developed increasing amounts of laws prescribing various actions to be taken, of the right and wrong ways of living and thinking.  It became very detailed, and some were so caught up in trying to live the details and also keep track of how others lived or did not live the details of the proscribed laws--well, much judging and such a mess, and far from the loving union with God Himself.

We have Jesus.  We have His teachings and life example.  What is it that we each and all cannot grasp of it, and live it out in daily life?  It does rather come down to each of us as individual souls, for we cannot do much about famous priests and renowned bishops who disagree on what is right and what is wrong, and how to administer sacraments and such, and not even with the oodles of canon laws we have "in the books."

Well, there is something greater that we have, and He is Jesus.  And Jesus gave us the Holy Spirit, and He said to love God above all things and others as ourselves, and that He desires mercy more than sacrifice.

This past week the Lord allowed the devil to hit at me hard and repeatedly.  Aspects of the temporal were utilized to try to discourage:  additional pain, incompetence of workers resulting in attempts to overcharge as well as a mortgage company that neglected to pay a large property tax bill, putting the gears of foreclosure into motion.  Then there was fatigue and further financial set backs, and facing the reality that I will not be able to finish and sell anytime soon.

Heat so affects this body of pain and damaged nerves along the spine, so progress is slow; yet there is progress.  And I had also offered as prayer, whatever sufferings for another person who is in a severe setback of the worst rheumatoid arthritis flare of the person's life.  When we offer our sufferings or daily encounters as prayer, we must also be prepared to suffer whatever may come.  And then, of course, we must not resent that we made the offer as prayer for the other!

What ended up being the best antidote was to begin praising God for all the good things that occur. Consider all the times a mortgage company has functioned properly.  Consider all the times that pain was not increased, or how many days of lovely temperatures, or how many people have not taken advantage nor tried to cheat.  Consider that the Lord has a reason for a slower conclusion to this phase of housing and financial insecurity.  

One reason is to increase faith and trust in His Providence.  Another is that perhaps He does not will me to move to where I have been considering might be a practical choice--or that He does not want me to think ahead beyond the present moment, to not make plans or imagine what next.  Or, that He desires me to keep on working slowly, and perhaps not be able to finish, and to experience what it is to totally run out of funds, to have to bail out rapidly.  Or perhaps not, but to continue on slowly and slowly get to a point of patience and trust in Him, and somehow He will keep providing in little ways, along the way of losses.

None of it matters--the reasons.  What matters is to keep going with love and prayerfulness, offering all to God, for God, for His glory.  

Ultimately, it is a time of greater detachment as well as greater faith in He Who Is greater than all else-greater than the "temple", greater than any theologian or priest or bishop or canon laws or civil laws or any one of us or any of our items or careers or illnesses or properties or whatever.

God in Three Persons Is greater than great.  He Is Greatest.

So it is humbling, all this, and to consider that mercy is what He desires--love and mercy, not sacrifice.  Being with Jesus--I love Him.  So tired, but He matters.  As long as I am with Him, knowing He is in me, filling with love and peace and His forgiveness--what can lengthy articles of debate fulfill that steering us to Jesus and Scripture and the ways of the spiritual life could not do so much better and effectively?

I cast my cares upon the Lord.  He instructs my heart.  He fills my soul with His love and mercy.  I go and follow Him--yes, as best I humanly can. But with God, all things are possible, right?  And in God a thousand days can seem as one day or a day can seem as a thousand.  Those going against canon laws and those going with canon laws cannot fulfill a whiff of what Jesus fulfills in our very human and spiritual lives.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Today when the couple brought me Holy Communion, we talked.  They brought mercy, in love, with Jesus.

Catholic Hermit: Thoughts on Being Chained to Souls

The following are excerpts from recent letter to my spiritual father (director) after having read from 2 Timothy.  Somehow, he enjoyed the thoughts, and encouraged me to get to my writing.  He added to the thoughts, the aspect of the Mystical Body of Christ as those of us who are chained to souls the Lord gives us, to be praying for, suffering for and with, to help bring them to salvation in Christ's eternal glory.

From the letter:

"Did you notice yesterday’s (Thursday, June 2) first reading, 2 Timothy?  He talks about how we are CHAINED—like chained to souls to help bring about their salvation, chained as in the Gospel, with our being chosen to help bring souls not yet chosen to come to His eternal glory, chained for their salvation.

"That really struck me in a major way.  That is how it needs to be with those of us who are in Christ and His Real Presence having His abode in us, and us remaining in His Love.  We are by that very fact, chained to the Gospel, the Living Word, and our life, our souls, are chosen and to be chained then to the work of helping bring other souls to salvation in His eternal glory. 

"I think it is meant to be very natural, rather pleasant, yet urgent in a natural way such as how we would be if we had a chain around us, chained to something so that we never are away from it but we get used to being chained as part of our entire existences. And being chained, we become used to that which we are chained.  We know not to pull against the chains but to just accept and have these souls part of our existences and efforts of salvation to His eternal glory.  We are chosen for this effort, to be chained to souls He needs to come to salvation and to His eternal glory.

"I realize there is not really a conscious way to keep in mind all the souls we are chained with, as we are also chained ourselves to the Gospel.  It is our being chained to His Real Presence and His Living Word, that is what will then seep into the souls we are chained to, as well, and all that is how these souls will come to salvation for His eternal glory.

"A. (young mother and wife) is concerned about her husband who is not acting his usual self, and is going through some very early pre-pre-midlife crisis.  She has been very concerned, and mentioned doing some kind of fast. I suggested we do not need to make it misery or difficult but rather light and enjoyable, fun to pray.  So she said he likes driving cars, like a race car driver would enjoy going around curves well, doing it professionally.  So we are offering various aspects of driving in whatever ways, as the prayer for him.  

"I have considered my back a road, and so the constant pain is a constant prayer, and I think of this awful muscle trouble in my back to be straightening out, and my back being a straight and solid, safe road, for her husband to be on, for his life to straighten out and be solid, and find his way.  Then that also related with J.’s cycling roads and paths, and then also a woman named A.H. asked for prayers for her daughter and her boyfriend (living together) who are hiking in Tennessee, camping and going on trails.  

"And, all the prayers of my back spine road and muscles, are for their souls. I realize that the temporal aspects are not the main point, for anything can happen to our bodies and temporal circumstances at any given moment without notice.  It is our souls that are of prime importance, so the enjoyable ways of praying and having the prayers continue without my even having to think about them, since my back is doing the praying as a road and path—the pain is praying.

"It is light and easy, and I’m not all that concerned but more so am psyched and excited and interested in souls now, and “on it!”  I am onto these souls, have my prayer talons in them. I had to laugh after I realized the bi-location experience of being with J. and then later finding out why he was so excited and his trip he was going on, that the poor guy wants nothing to do with me, but God does not let him have that freedom.  I was taken there, and not just me but his grandmother (my mom) was there, also.  

"We are on it, and you are on it, and S. is praying along with several others I have alerted; and J. cannot escape.  He is chained, and we are chained to his soul, as well, and many other souls for we are chosen since we know the Lord and love Him and have offered to do His will and work.  So He has many souls that in and through Him and the Gospel, we are chained and chained to help these souls come to salvation and to His eternal glory.

"It is so humorous, isn’t it?  The work is not hard work when we  keep it natural and fun and try not to struggle away from being chained.  I am chained to this mattress and to ice packs, and to much added pain, and I am chained in this unfinished dwelling and even the heat wave we are to have this weekend, and chained to trying to walk outside enough and lean over to hook up soaker hoses every couple of hours to try to keep things watered.  But it really does not matter.  

"Our daily, temporal efforts are totally whatever the Lord allows of our bodies, but our souls are chained, and we can easily do that work for the souls we are chained with, due to being chained to the Gospel and HIs Real Presence, ourselves.  It is fascinating, right?  It is exciting, and quite the adventure."

Savor the Living Word

Savor the Living Word of God.  Hold the Word deep within the heart and soul.  Use the mind to recognize the truth in the Word.  Let the reality of His Word break through other precepts or inclinations varying from the Living Word that is true, always, in any age, time, or place.

So it is that the other morning when I read the Scriptures, specifically from Romans in the Second Reading for the First Sunday in Lent, His Real Presence impressed upon me once more the depth and breadth of God's Law of Love that reigns supreme over any other laws.  Here it is yet again, more truth:

"Brothers and sisters:
What does Scripture say?
The word is near you,
in your mouth and in your heart
--that is, the word of faith that we preach--,
For, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord
and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead,
you will be saved.
For one believes with the heart and so is justified,
and one confesses with the mouth and so is saved.
For the Scriptures says,
No one who believes in him will be put to shame.
For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek;
the same Lord is Lord of all,
enriching all who call upon him.
For 'everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.'"

It is so simple, is it not?  Yet when we take on the law of minds and taught precepts which become so preached as to seem like doctrine, and place these other aspects before and above, with more emphasis than on the Law of God--the law of Love, the Royal Law--we lose the power we are given of Christ, of faith in His Real Presence, of loving God above all things and loving others as ourselves.

Let us be humbled by the profundity of the Living Word of God! Let us do away with judging others.  Let us melt the niggardly lines of the increasing profusion of laws of minds that divide us--even divide those within the Church, even within consecrated vocations, within congregations, within parishes among parishioners.  What good is there in that?  Does the Lord smile upon such judging and divisional, picayune minutia?  

The Word made flesh is in those of us who love and believe and live His law of Love.  He is the same Lord Who Is Lord of all and Who hears our voices when we call upon him.  He shall save all of us who call on the name of the Lord and believe in Him!

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit: The Royal Law

Sometimes doesn't it seem as if His Real Presence truly knows exactly what we need?  Of course He does--but sometimes it seems so very real, so actual, so lived!

A long-time friend (Protestant) celebrated a birthday the other day.  We keep in touch with a birthday note and a Christmas letter.  Otherwise, the friendship rolls along, year after year, without knowing details of our lives other than the twice-yearly, usually brief, correspondence.  

Increasingly, it seems this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit is closer than ever to whoever comes to mind.  Thus, it seems as if there has been more personal contact than what is the temporal reality.  So I decided to call this friend on her birthday and ask for her email address; I wanted to do a Scriptural Prayer-Gift in honor of her life.  What book of the Bible would she like?

James.

So, each day I'm reading a chapter of James and reflecting upon the content of the verses.  I pray for insights from the Holy Spirit so as to email the friend, each day, in what ways the Word of God through James represents her life.

Today I read the second chapter of James in honor of this marvelous Christian friend.  Lo and behold, there it is again:  God's law of which St. Paul writes in Romans is the "fulfillment of the law" and above all other laws:  God's law of love.  Love God.  Love others.

Here it is, written by the Apostle James.  He calls God's law "the royal law."

"If you really keep the royal law found in Scripture, 'Love your neighbor as yourself,' you are doing right."

Then a few verses later in chapter two, he writes further regarding being judged by this law and describes it as the law that gives freedom.  In what way? With mercy--and James explains that  freedom occurs when mercy triumphs over judgment.

"Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful.  Mercy triumphs over judgment!"

There is much more to the second chapter of James.  The Apostle demonstrates, also, that faith is revealed through what one enacts that demonstrates a lived faith.  If we say we have faith but do not live God's royal law, the law of love of others, then faith is not substantiated.  And consider the truth that mercy always wins, over judgment.  Be merciful to others.  Triumph in mercy.

When my spiritual father called this afternoon--and such a loving surprise--we discussed the seemingly recent, repetitive lessons from Scripture regarding the law and which law is supreme (and simply so) over all other laws:  God's law of love, the "royal law."

We can't go wrong if we adopt the royal law and if we live it.  Yes, if we truly love our neighbor as ourselves, we will be "doing right".

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another!  Let us embrace fully God's royal law and do right!

Dear God in Heaven....

The past three weekends have been praying more specifically if am to attempt physical return to Mass.  For two weekends had pain sieges so was laid out on this mattress on hermitage floor.  This weekend, however, there was no physical obstacle.  In fact, the hermit's helper's father said he would be at the Sat. evening Mass; the hermit felt more secure in attempting this.

Could not locate the little sign that in a previous diocese, was recommended to help others hopefully not touch, not call 911, so that the hermit would not be injured by those not realizing the situation of a spiritual ecstasy, a mystical phenomenon, or what this hermit has come to term "the state during Mass."  

However, since the hermit has not been physically to Mass for a good long while, it decided to not keep looking for the little sign, as surely by now the state would not happen.  And, why even give any aspect of the psyche any hint or reminder, such as having the sign at hand?  Rather, forget about it and assume it was over and done.  After all, after reading more of Teresa of Avila's personal experience with the like, she found that when she no longer feared having her body and faculties taken into union with God, her ecstasies ceased.

This consecrated Catholic hermit has no longer feared the ecstatic state for some time.  In fact, the hermit has been seemingly neglectful of a lot of spiritual reading lately, ever since the young helper started coming for three hours each morning, weekdays, to help--other than when the hermit has too much pain to be up and working.  It has been lectio divina (Divine Word of God study, meditation) and a book or two or three of a mystic saint victim soul, a mystic hermit, and some homilies of Pseudo-Macarius.

Off to Mass, then, Saturday evening.  There was a hard, wooden pew in the very back corner (other pews are padded which causes too much back pain for this hermit), so that seemed a good seating choice.  The helper's dad was not there, after all, but the hermit decided due to the long drive, to remain and fear not anything at all.  Surely nothing would occur after this length of time and how woefully lacking in spiritual efforts lately.

But with the lection of the First Scripture Reading of the Living Word of God, the hermit was taken out of itself with the powerful force of the Holy Spirit, the faculties suspended, and the Mass--the stairway to Heaven--continued in all its loving glory.  The Mass was blissful in a serene nothingness of all but God.  The heart fluttered and enlarged--the wounded, consecrated heart.  Then stillness and union and so very much love of the Beloved!  Communion in union with God, and that was that.

Somewhere toward the end of Mass or perhaps while the angels yet singing and music playing at the end of Mass, the voices of people and poking began.  Concerned voices, increasingly strong prods; fingers gouging deep into the neck arteries, hands lifting up the head.  The hermit began to pray within, begging God and its angel to protect it.  Lord, you know how much work yet to be done on that old house and am running out of money! But whatever you will--please protect me!

Then the voice whose hands were lifting the head said to someone else to hold the head and not let go; he was going to call 911.  Unresponsive person, very faint pulse.  Ah, thanks be to God they were not going to let the head drop--the very thing that caused the hermit serious neck injury over three years ago!   Thanks be to God!  But 911?  Oh, no...here we go again.

Finally the hermit was given movement enough to force open the eyelids part-way.  She is opening her eyes!  Tell the dispatcher, but she cannot move, cannot speak!  Send help!  So the hermit then begged within to the Lord, and slowly the mouth could open, and with great effort decided upon one word that might stop the alarm:  Ecstasy.  Surely they would understand that.

But no, the man thought ecstasy, the drug.  Then as an afterthought, mentioned could it be some religious thing?  Still on the phone with 911 dispatcher.  So then, gradually more in the temporal, the hermit was able to say more forcefully:  MASS!  That got through.  The man said it must be something having to do with the spiritual!  Then, slowly, slowly, the fingers could move, then the words could come out in phrases.  No 911!  Am all right!  

And quite soon, was able to answer a few questions of the dear people so concerned, and was asked to talk to the dispatcher.  No need to come.  No one is in need.  The man who happened to be a retired firefighter, and thus how he knew not to let go of the head, asked if had ever considered having a little sign?

Mercy.  Well, yes, but cannot find it in the mess of the fixer upper, and frankly thought the state would not happen, surely not happen, after remaining physically away from Mass for so long.  The gathering dispersed, and the couple remained with a couple more questions, and encouraged a return to Mass the next Saturday evening.

On the long drive back to the hermitage, there were a couple of thoughts.  One was--glory be--that this was the same weekend some years ago that the first ecstasy at Mass began to occur.  How many years?  The hermit had to think a bit:  Seven years ago!  And the second thought came, more involved and pithy.  
Bits of Dr. H's conversation of a couple years or more ago came to mind--his conviction that this type of mystical phenomenon in its power and force of great love from God, was not meant just for the hermit.  No, he was certain that the power emanating when a person would be in this state, would be efficacious for those in the vicinity, or even more so if touching another.  Could be very healing, he thought, and of benefit to others, and therefore encouraged the hermit to not fear but rather to allow itself to be exposed and vulnerable--yet safe from physical harm by those not understanding.

The hermit pondered Dr. H's thoughts on the subject and considered his expertise in the paranormal.  Plus, there was the aspect of his knowing the hermit for years and years, as well as having experienced other mystical events the hermit had, years ago.  He was always right then, and he was always reaching through to the positive, to have courage, to see the good that God was desiring to do through the hermit, and for the hermit to embrace and cooperate.

Then the hermit thought of what Jesus had specifically shown and told the hermit over four years ago, after the neck injury and the abandonment by its then prelate spiritual director.  He showed the hermit a group of parishioners, mostly women, and a few priests.  He said they will criticize and persecute you, but you are to pay no attention to them. 

And for awhile, the hermit had held up courageously, continued to go to Mass after the neck healed, and then again after the second shoulder surgery recovery time, but that was when the hermit was being shunned to a point that its spiritual father advised to just rest and have spiritual communions and trust in the Lord.  Priests were verbal as to not wanting the hermit in their parishes.  See how fear and ignorance of a situation can breed ugliness and consternation?

But, the hermit then lost courage, even after moving to a desert place, far from the hustle of civilization, far, far away. From time to time, tried Mass at various parishes, but the hermit lost the courage to endure the criticism and persecution.  And then the pain and the trials of hard life circumstances, increased illnesses and obstacles, kept the hermit in the hermitage, praying and working and suffering and reading the Scriptures and offering spiritual communions.

To cut to the now, the hermit has prayed and pondered and consulted with a couple wise ones, and will put a call in to Dr. H. and the spiritual father.  Today when the helper was finished and his father came to take him home, he asked if the hermit had gone to Mass.  Yes--and the helper's dad said he was sorry he was not at that Mass, after all, but rather the Sunday morning Mass.  Yes, yes, the hermit realized that, and we spoke a few minutes about the situation.  The hermit mentioned the thought--increasing as insights do--that the hermit has been selfishly approaching this situation and had lost its way in having the courage and willingness to take persecution and criticism. 

Perhaps, yes, the Lord has something far other in mind than anything for the hermit's benefit in the ecstasies during Mass.  Otherwise surely they would be taken away--gone--by now, after seven years, after all!  So maybe Dr. H. is correct, and that somehow this state during Mass is for the benefit of the people there in some supernatural way, such as healing, even if they nor the hermit never know consciously.

We will continue to pray about it during the week, but the helper's dad suggested the hermit always come on Sunday morning and sit near him in the choir area, or in the wood pew where his family will sit, so that there be no need of even a sign.  But if a sign, the hermit would have it be an honest one--not saying "Meditating", but using the proper term, "Spiritual Ecstasy."  For, it is true that if one is meditating, if touched or shaken, the person would be able to open the eyes, move, and speak--rouse from the meditation.  And that is what confuses, as when people found no response, they forgot the sign and figured a serious medical condition was at hand, requiring the paramedics, fire trucks, police vehicles--been through it too many times!

If a sign, though, it would not say "Do not touch".  It would say, "Please don't worry; don't call 911.  Spiritual ecstasy.  You may gently touch or leave a prayer request."  That would open it to the positive rather than the negative; that would be truthful, not misleading. Honesty is the best policy even if it brings criticism and persecution. 

And the hermit assured the helper's dad that there will be criticism and persecution.  People will say the hermit is promoting itself, drawing attention to itself by being at the most attended weekend Mass, by being in the choir area toward the front--visible.  And at first, when the helper's dad suggested this plan, the hermit balked.  It does not like being noticed, does not like larger groups, and does not like being touched.  

Yet it is time to overcome self, to die to self more, to do as Jesus said and finally not pay attention to criticism and persecution.  It must look to the positive of what God might be willing in what many would call a spiritual gift, even if the hermit has had much suffering.  That suffering may have come due to the mis-discernment of what God intends and desires of it, as perhaps something healing and beneficial for others.

It is certainly worth trying it out.  In the meantime, in the next few days prior to Sunday Mass, the hermit will seek the direction of its spiritual father and also Dr. H.  Must ask the experts God has for us in these situations, just as the hermit has certainly called upon Craig and Rusty for construction and plumbing advice--and heeds their advice!  But yes, this different way of approaching and considering why God has not removed this state, no matter what, and that He has something in Mind for others, is resonating and falling into place naturally, simply, serenely...and with a sense of hope.

And the hermit does benefit from being at Mass, of course.  The love, the heart, the union with the Beloved, being among the worshippers of His Real Presence at the Mass, the Stairway to Heaven, is bliss.

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit Ponders Part of a Psalm

"Keep me, O God, for in you I take refuge;
I say to the LORD, 'My Lord are you.'
O LORD, my allotted portion and my cup,
you it is who hold fast my lot."
(Psalm 16:1-2)

It is with these Living Words that this hermit--Catholic, Consecrated and nothing to God's All--will live the present and forthcoming present moments.

First, to attempt a sink-bath, and thankful for a sink and running water if no other plumbing conveniences.  And then, to dress, and to hopefully, if God wills and allows, to walk outdoors and to the back orchard/garden area (dubbed the Leg O'Lamb...name story too long and unnecessary but trust that it is meaningful with humorous touch), and to water the sprouting seeds and the seed-starts already planted.

Last evening the hermit grew increasingly weary of the temporally good but yet temporal, distractions of music and British mystery videos, as well as some comedy.  It is true that humor can help increase the brain's natural body painkillers: endorphins.  But what about any research regarding the effect of His Real Presence's presence and His effect on the production of endorphins?

Somehow, nothing quite heals and uplifts like the spiritual--the closeness in His Real Presence, of His Living Word, of His Spiritual Communion, of His Prayer Communication.

That's simply the truth of it, and while the other aspects serve some helpful purposes, they do not satisfy nor hold steady for the long haul.

The upper back pain is yet exhausting and debilitating.  The hermit has set forth its hopes and desires before His Real Presence this morning and asks if any or all of the desired movements and activities meet with His approval and will.   Then, there is only one way to find out, and that is for the hermit to attempt them in the order laid out--a prudent and temporal order.

The hermit used to memorize Psalms, and Psalm 16 was one chosen to commit to memory.  Severe and chronic pain both gently wipe clear the memory for ease of recall.  While the words are yet very familiar and no doubt could be memorized once again, the hermit realizes it is not necessary.  More appropriate and helpfully needful, is the essence of the Word.

There is so much of His Real Presence's essence in these Words!  The memory of the essence is that which the hermit carries, for the hermit is in the Father and Son as the Father and the Son have by the power of the Holy Spirit, abide in the hermit and the hermit in Him.  That suffices:  the reality, the essence, the truth of the Living Word spoken this morning, now, and all moments past and future.

"Keep me, O God, for in you I take refuge;
I say to the LORD, 'My Lord are you.'
O LORD, my allotted portion and my cup,
you it is who hold fast my lot."
(Psalm 16:1-2)

What Is Our Job?

A friend emailed, asking prayers for her to do a better job of helping her spouse be more spiritually inclined, to want to pray more as a family, but most of all to go to confession.  The spouse does not like to go to confession.  He also does not particularly like to pray the rosary.  He likes to read Scripture.  The friend is worried that she is not doing enough to save his soul, and that if something happens to him, somehow she will not have done her job.

So it brought up an inner discussion, plus some correspondence with the friend.  This nothing consecrated Catholic hermit had to consider what is its job, what is anyone's job?  For a parent, that becomes more clear when there are young children to rear by teaching, example, and whatever means.

The friend's spiritual director said they should start praying the rosary as a family.  Perhaps this has stirred the friend's concerns about her spouse and the state of his spiritual life.  Seems that it has brought up a worrisome aspect that we all can face at some phase or other in our lives.

The words "unconditional love" have come to this hermit's thoughts lately.  The physical pain and the accompanying emotional pain have been very high again.  The hermit remembered messages in the past from Teresa of Avila and also St. Luke, the Physician, that said that when this soul in here, in this body, would attain to unconditional love, then it would be able to transcend the earthly pain.

Obviously, this nothing hermit has not attained unconditional love.  Yet, it is a new day, and the hermit desires very much to strive more to unconditional love--of self, of others...and of God!  Yes, it is important to have unconditional love for God Who has unconditional love for us.  Sometimes we can put some conditions on our love of God and on His will and designs and desires for our lives.

Today's first reading from the Acts of the Apostles includes:

The hand of the Lord was with them
and a great number who believed turned to the Lord.
The news about them reached the ears of the Church in Jerusalem,
and they sent Barnabas to go to Antioch.
When he arrived and saw the grace of God,
he rejoiced and encouraged them all
to remain faithful to the Lord in firmness of heart
for he was a good man, filled with the Holy Spirit and faith.

When it comes to our children, yes, they are our "job."  But our spouses, am not so sure, especially if it has one thinking of the other as lacking in some aspect of being devout enough--even if some aspect of devotions are not happening, not a part of that person's daily life.  True enough, some people are more spiritually inclined than others; and circumstances in life such as upbringing and life experiences, particularly suffering, affect our inclinations:  to the world more, or to God more.

One thought that came to mind, is that of someone filling in where a perceived void exists, such as praying the rosary.  It seems that instead, asking the spouse who likes to read Scripture, to read Scripture to the family and discuss it some, or to pick a Bible verse that they learn and put into practice each day, would fill the void by utilizing what the spouse brings to the marriage of his spiritual positives.

After all, in Mass there is the Living Word, and then the Sacrifice.  The Living Word of God is given prime position in the first half of the temporal aspect of time in Mass.  The rosary is a marvelous prayer and devotion, but it is the Lord's Prayer that is prayed during Mass and is the prayer Jesus teaches us to pray.  (This is not at all to devalue praying the rosary, but it is to help understand in some way, that unconditional love might bear in on this situation.  Don't place conditions on what others are to pray and then feel pressure that somehow they are lacking if they do not.)

As for not going to confession, that is another issue of whose job is it, and is the soul in jeopardy of salvation if he or she does not go to confession often, or at all?  For children being brought up in the Catholic faith, the parents hold that job of teaching and leading by example, and having the children learn about confession and provide a way for them to get to confession.  That is, in our time period, in this century and the past several, how it is.

It seems our job is ourselves, our own souls.  This nothing hermit added in the correspondence, for the friend to take a realistic look at this hermit's own life!  Two of the adult children have nothing to do with God, with prayer, or with any church.  One does, but it is of a different level and aspect, of a different faith background with different "rules" of engagement, as is said....

Or, perhaps our job is to attain to unconditional love.  And that means a love of God, others, and ourselves in as much as we are God's created beings.  In being a light to others, and in teaching others and leading by example, we have the tremendous power of what affected the Church in Jerusalem, what turned their heads, what impressed Barnabas and thousands of others.

He arrived and he saw the grace of God....

If we remain faithful to the Lord, in firmness of heart; if we believe in Jesus Christ; if we are good and filled with the Holy Spirit and faith; then the hand of the Lord will be upon us.  Others will "see" even if not with their temporal eyes but in some other aspect sense or hear--the grace of God.

Our job is to do what will help others see the grace of God.

Sure seems so, and unconditional love is a powerful showing of God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit: His Real Presence.

This nothing consecrated Catholic hermit is not there yet, but the desire is there, and it learns so much from the friend who stimulates such good inner questions and discussions--and helps this hermit to deeper conversion and contrition (Lord have mercy upon me, a sinner!) and desire to learn and do better with whatever life it has remaining.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another and attain to unconditional love.  Remaining in His Love is a good way to learn love from the Master.   We are His job, each of us.  He does perfect work; we only have to be willing to remain in His love and be humbly willing....

Who Do You Make Yourself Out to Be?

More of Jesus' Living Words from the Gospel of John, chapter 8:

[Some people could not grasp nor put into lived practice the intimate and holy knowing of God.  They are bothered by and judge Jesus, and are offended.  They are frustrated and incensed, and ask...] 

"Who do you make yourself out to be?"
"Jesus answered, 
'If I glorify myself, my glory is worth nothing;
but it is my Father who glorifies me,
of whom you say, "He is our God."
You do not know him, but I know him.
And if I should say that I do not know him,
I would be like you, a liar;
but I do know him and I keep his word.'"

Jesus has it straight and right.  He Is, after all, Truth.  He tells these people that they do not know God. He tells them that his is not like them--liars.  But He does know God and He keeps God's Word.

On this sixth day toward the end of this year's earthly Lent, of being worn out and laid out by physical pain (and all that of the human body, mind, and emotions that exist inherent in such depletion), there are definite signs that His Real Presence is trying to reach in and bolster this nothing, consecrated, Catholic, hermit Christian.

Yesterday, in talking with a friend hundreds of miles away, it wept and explained that in the various phases of such pain, the emotions have the reaction such as stroke victims are known to have.  There is weeping, probably from the reality of bodily helplessness and the mental thought of hopelessness that accompanies such a reality.  (Heart patients are known to experience depression--thought due to the what-ifs and unknowns of when the heart might malfunction again; but stroke victims experience tears.)

A spiritual friend unexpectedly emailed last night with words of encouragement and sharing of some trials undergoing currently, and expressing how she can relate in some ways of the frustrations, but also that the hermit's body needs rest and refreshment.  Not much more is going to physically occur until the body is able.  A daughter called, unexpectedly, also--and was surprised and sorry to learn-- but not unused to the cyclical pain sieges--that the hermit was not at all mobile nor working on plumbing or anything else in the hermitage.  

Yet another person called late at night--someone the hermit had thought about earlier in the day but had no means to contact so prayed.  That person shared some prayer concerns and promised to pray for some the hermit shared; they prayed together on the phone.   Each of these unexpected contacts remind the soul that God is with it, that all this is in God's allowing, in His will and plan.

There is an answer, also, in this Gospel being proclaimed in the universal Church today: the Living Word of God, spoken by Jesus Christ.

Hang tough.  You know God. You do know Him, and be assured in keeping His Word.  Do not fall in with those who are liars, who do not know God but who say they do. Treachery even in unwitting trickery is no sign of knowing God even though their external motions and rules may seem to be met. Do not fall into this trap.  Know with what is deep in your heart of hearts, when all else is stripped away by pain at all levels.  Return deep into your roots, and be assured that you do love God with all your being, that you know God, and that you so desire and try to keep His Word.

The Gospel words of Jesus are starkly strong, right down to Jesus telling those trying to detract, demean, and entrap him--that he is not going to be a liar like they are, for he truly knows God and keeps His Word.  What confidence Jesus possesses!  And how firmly He states what He knows and that He sees right through people who are up to no good, even if they think they are doing the right thing, upholding the accumulation of laws created and distorted by all kinds of human interpretations and their incumbent consequences.

Well, we are not Jesus, but He lives in us and us in Him--those of us who desire, ask, receive  and love Him with all our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls.  We desire and try to keep His Word.  And we do get side-tracked sometimes, and don't do a perfect job of keeping His Word sometimes.  But God is merciful, forgives, and gives us chances to try again and again to sin no more, right up to our last breath.  Even at that moment, we have His mercy.

The simple fact and truth of the matter sifts out from all the confusions and conflicts that have arisen when we try to make into rules and laws that which we think are what we should be keeping...or think might help us keep God's word better.  

What truly matters, though, simply so, is to know God and to keep His Word.  KNOW God.  We are able to know Him through knowing Jesus--every aspect of Jesus possible.  And a lot is possible by reading and absorbing His words, and in loving Him up-front and personally.  Talk with Him.  Desire Him.  Follow Him.  Keep His commands--even His Greatest Commandment and the nine others of the Ten.  LOVE HIM.

Perhaps this human body can rise today and attempt some small effort in getting whatever step closer to leaving this temporal place, preparing it as a place for someone else...all the while knowing that there will be a "place" for this body, mind, heart, and soul in Jesus Christ, the knowing, the knower, the known.  And in that, in His meek and humble heart, this nearly imperceptible suffering nothing, will be keeping His Word, as well.

God bless His Real Presence, and may His Real Presence be in a simplified and humbled us, and us in Him.  Just in Him. May we know His Real Presence and keep His Word.

Hermit Brief Break; Obedience Through Suffering

Taking a brief writing break.  Hermit continues the spiritual consultation with those who correspond and call.  How blessed to have spiritual discussion and focus in our lives!

Been pondering the Scripture:  He learned obedience through His sufferings.

This provides thought for goodness and aspect of learning obedience, ourselves.  As we progress in the spiritual life, climbing the stairway to heaven, our temporal spiritual directors or superiors may change from time to time, or be at a distance, or as many we read about--more and more experience His Real Presence guiding us increasingly.  Br. Lawrence and others have wisely written this reality.  Yet it is good to keep learning obedience.

Good to know at our Lord and Savior learned obedience when on earth, through His sufferings.

And so may we!

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another!

How Will We Be Found?

 From St. Peter's Epistle, Scripture of today's second reading in Mass:

But, in accordance with his promise, we wait for new heavens and a new earth, where righteousness is at home. Therefore, beloved, while you are waiting for these things, strive to be found by him at peace, without spot or blemish....

This nothing Catholic hermit prays and hopes it will be found by His Real Presence to be at peace, and without spot or blemish.  As for strong faith that it will be found thus, needs a bit more prayerful effort.  Faith in that hope butts heads with the mind's thinking about how difficult to not sin.  Sin causes spots and blemishes.

Was pondering this morning, growing up Protestant.  All was very good, loving, with marvelously loving and moral people in my parents' circle of friends and family.  They were not without trials and sins, but it was all the more amazing because they did not have conscious knowledge of the various virtues and vices, other than in generic terms.  We had nothing to go on other than the power of His Living Word and passed down moral ethics and Puritan values.  This hermit considered, had it when young, the writings of holy people--the saints, mystics, and of their lives--plus books on virtues, it would have appreciated learning and practicing these, consciously. Yet it had the examples of some very good people who stayed out of trouble, due to their virtues even if not labeling them as such.

Even now, it is a privilege to learn more about the virtues and to practice them, and to learn how to identify the vices and try to eliminate those.  Yet, of the family and friends considered, they do well based upon moral values of right versus wrong in broader terms, in more generic ways.  Scripture is a most powerful sacrament, and the Ten Commandments and Beatitudes are profound. 

But this nothing Catholic hermit delights in learning all matters about the soul, about any ways in which one can strive to be found by Him at peace, without spot or blemish.  Having access to books that explain the devil, angels, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, God the Father, the Virgin Mary, the saints, the three ways of the spiritual life--as well as some who enjoy learning and practicing the faith in more specific manner--is joy to this nothing hermit.

We are all different in what delights and in ways helpful to our soul's progression.  Today am preparing the body, mind, heart and soul for the practicing the little exercise with others who thankfully find much at issue with this hermit's way of being, way of expressing.  

A spiritual friend called last night, hoping the hermit was not as cold as a week ago.  Progress in that.  But mentioned the little exercise and how it has come about, and the friend mentioned a woman who she found to be fascinating and could light up a room, but that others disliked the same woman as being too dramatic, too potent in presence.

Considered two Terry's.  Teresa of Avila's personality and way of expression was different than Therese of Lisieux's.  Some were irked by one or the other.  Some found both appealing with understanding that the externals do not so much matter other than to enjoy the uniqueness, as one would flowers and trees.

It is amazing how some people love pitbulls and are able to train them without incident of their known aggressive traits.  This hermit would not go there with that breed, personally.  So it is fair to discern what one can risk and what one is better off not attempting to adopt.  But it does remind us, such as with flowers, that perhaps we ought detach from tremendous likes and dislikes in such aspects of externals.  

Why like a rose and then dislike some other type of flower?  Just like them all!  Appreciate their beauty in being God's creation.  Why like one color and dislike another?  Why not love them all for their amazing qualities?

Perhaps we ought learn, in our process of virtuous ascent, to detach from disliking  this and that, unless it is sin.  We ought dislike sin and keep as far away from it and its influence, as possible.  And as we all sin, then dislike that part of us enough to try to change it, to remove the spot and blemish.  If another is sinning, then dislike that but make sure we recognize the difference between sin and personality traits.  If a personality trait becomes sinful in nature, then dislike that.

Surliness comes to mind, or temper, or melancholy.  This nothing hermit struggles against melancholy and despair. Yes, there are physical reasons (intense, constant pain) that  urge the sorrows and despairs, but this hermit always prays and strives to overcome that aspect.  It has not yet succeeded in eradicating it, but it keeps hoping and striving for that beautiful goal of overcoming.  And it understands when others need to avoid or put boundaries for themselves, when the nothing hermit is suffering extra much.

Yet others are able to reach in and encourage, and to remind the hermit that its pain must be too high, and that it will get through it.  When cold and down, blemished and spotted by darkness of spirit and low in desire to endure, some nurtured and others did not.  One wrote that everyone has problems; two others wrote this hermit could come live with them in their lovely, warm homes until it got warmer here.  One sent a small check, with a note saying it hoped could be helpful.  That check caused the hermit to get a portable heater, and also stirred the mind to try to work all the more so that it could someday help the person who sent it, or help someone else in need.

So we can learn to recognize our own and others' sins and weaknesses; but we also can learn how to respond in order to help them pull out, to erase the spots and heal the blemishes.  All the positive does help us all to come to more peace.  Bending to those who do not yet see or grasp how to help those who cannot realize to love the otherwise not-sinful externals, is worth learning.

In other words, if a person or more dislike the particular flower that we are, we can by example, ourselves, appreciate all flowers.  And, we can bend our own stems and take on hues and scents that may assuage the others' dislikes, at least a little.  Someday, they may learn to remove particular disliking of externals that are not sins and rather are the peace-scents of life itself. 

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, for love bears all things (but not sin, or so we are taught).  May we be found, in peace, without spot or blemish!