Catholic Hermit: Born of the Spirit

I would like to write more thoughts of the apostle John's quoting of Jesus, regarding being born of the Spirit compared to be being of flesh. Of course, we are all and all living things in essence born of the flesh, born of temporal matter.  But in order to enter into God in fullness of reality in depth of interior far beyond and in essence meaningful, we must be born of the spirit.

"Jesus answered, 'Amen, amen, I say to you, no one can enter the kingdom of God without being born of water and Spirit.  What is born of flesh is flesh, and what is born of spirit is spirit.  Do not be amazed that I told you, 'You must be born from above.'

"'The wind blows where it wills, and you can hear the sound it makes, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes; so it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.'"

I'm trying to distract from physical pain as well as from a conglomeration of thoughts and memories--flashbacks--that have been bombarding since late yesterday, due to the coming phone appointment with the only priest I know of now alive and on earth, who I feel somewhat secure in turning to for help with spiritual and temporal discernment. 

While today's Gospel reading is that which speaks deeply to my soul, I have returned to this [above] Scripture from John 3:5-8.  It, also, addresses the dilemma that I face as a Christian, a Catholic, a Catholic hermit, a Catholic mystic, a Catholic victim soul, a human being in later years of temporal life--and somewhere along the spiraling double helix of spiritual development and growth.

I've yet to delve into spiritual reading such as by the late Archbishop Luis Martinez's work, The Sanctifier [the Holy Spirit].  The friend who emails now and then from afar who found the abridged and updated version by Sophia Institute Press under title True Devotion to the Holy Spirit, a week ago or so already wrote that the writing became complicated.  The person has returned to what brings more comfort and sensibility to mind and heart and soul--for that person--and that is in reading Scripture amidst other means of balancing out a lay person's temporal and spiritual existence which is more homebound due to the COVID-19 pandemic as well as being an octogenarian.

The person wrote last week that of anything I wrote in an email, the following line seemed providential and expressive of that person's difficulty in continuing the book.  I admit that the words came to me without my later recall, and I found it as if new to read, when she quoted what I'd described of my recent and current status when trying to read spiritual books, regardless how classic and profound.  

For me, I think it is a phase in addition to temporal intrusions:  higher pain consistently, the use of external distractions to cope, the increased hours spent bed-bound, the push of mind over body to try to do a few tasks around the hermitage and in the garden, and the looming situation I must discern, decide upon, and act or not act of which either one will be action.

The statement that had such impact according to the older correspondent and spiritual seeker, a Christian and Catholic of many decades, is this:

"Too many words upon words without touchstone of some sort of accessible reality."

It is a statement of providential temporal-spiritual status.  Some writings of spiritual merit do tend to become, truly, too many words upon words without touchstone of some sort of accessible reality."

But then there is the Scripture.  In the Living Word of God, always we have words, yes, but there always are touchstones of accessible reality.  Always.  And the touchstones vary as to which any given seeker, observer, reader finds to grab hold or to have the Word of words, to grab hold of our minds, hearts, and/or souls.

Thus, if all else seems to be too much, and we are unable to find a touchstone, a foothold or hand-hold to reach out and grab and retain even in the present moment or a bit longer, there is always Scripture for us that will always be not just words upon words, but Living Word allowing us to grab hold  of touchstones or of touchstones that grab hold of us.  We find accessible reality in God's Word.

God's Word be it Scripture or otherwise, speak in essence of profundity, of Holy Spirit love, to the soul that is born from above, that is born of the Spirit.  That which is of the Spirit is accessible and real to those who have been born of the Spirit.  There is no temporal way to explain it otherwise; those born of the Spirit grasp.

I'll now try to silence the words upon words that tend to constantly flow through my mind from without to within and within to without.  I need to be stilled enough to express what needs to be presented for the priest to absorb and then to give wise discretion and guidance to my listening mind, heart, and soul in order to determine an outer action or non-action, both of which will be inner action.

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit: Miraculous Reconnection from Past

Retrieved this post idea from when I was going to share, a few days prior to July 23 (what now seems to me) epically painful spine surgery.  

Miraculously (again, seems to me) I had a message from someone in my email inbox.  I  could not place the person in my memory, but recognized where we must have met, for the person inquired of me, and mentioned our having been in Avila, Spain.   That and there I had been.  (Again, I think my having been able to be there miraculous given the bodily pain even thenbut nothing like the escalation with years.)

I responded to the person, explained my situation of increased pain and awaiting spine surgery, and much having transpired in intervening years, and I asked to please jog my memory.  But in the meantime, looking at the name again, the connection came and was validated by another email from the person.  She was the professor who taught the course on St. John of the Cross when I was there that summer, 2005, and had planned to stay for three additional months in an apartment that had been arranged for me in Alba de Tormes, an apartment kept by the Discalced Carmelites located across the street from their monastery, the one where St. Teresa of Avila passed from this world and where are displayed her transverberated heart and other items specific to her life on earth.

However--and I have rued my weakness to this day--as I ended up needing to leave Avila after the courses on St. John and also one on St. Teresa (taught by a different person) due to my pain issues as well as some type of desolation going on within me that was deep and more than I could manage along with the pain.  (Had to do with an assignment of sorts, that the Lord had me dealing with in the temporal aspects of the Church, not that we can easily categorize; but I was losing the pain management battle amidst the spiritual aspects bombarding.)

(In fact, I have wondered and rather dreamed about while in this post-operative phase, if I could somehow get my body back over there, if some way I could fulfill what I could not do fifteen years ago, and say in that apartment in Alba de Tormes, as if somehow to be able to absorb St. Teresa and St. John by proximity to where they had existed on when on earth.  I know that this is a ridiculous notion of mine, all the more today when I cannot get on top of the pain, and it is on top of me.  And I also know that I can be present with these saints as well as any other, simply remaining here on the icy pad on my bed; just with a thought and prayer I can learn from them, or with  doing a little reading of a couple books I've added to the pile on my bed--but now with more structure and purpose to the reading.)

The professor who taught our class about St. John of the Cross that summer somehow remembered me, which I find to be miraculous and providential.  She is noted as one of the leading scholars and authority of St. John of the Cross, and all the more I was assured her reaching out to me an answer to prayers for God to help me know and fulfill my mission and to help me get back on the spiritual track He wills for me.  I need to put all prongs back into the spiritual socket, so to speak.

In a next email, the professor sent a review she'd written awhile ago that was published in a journal.  She thought I might enjoy reading it and giving me something to think about during my surgery convalescence.  The review is that of a published dissertation on Faith According to St. John of the Cross, by Karol Wojtyla [St. Pope John Paul II].

My mind has been so beleaguered with pain and various other distractions, including many of my own choosing or agreeing to, that I was unable to focus or absorb the review; but I kept it as a treasure to read when the circumstances and Holy Spirit determined.  That time was the night before last; the article, the review, helped in my turning point and need of direction--as much as the reminders of Teresa of Avila and St. Joseph, her patron, from access to notes from the parish course on dreams and interpretation in spiritual direction were also prompting me to turn, to resume, the path of my spiritual journey. 

The professor's published review stirred many helpful points on faith and in the writings of St. John of the Cross relative to the progression of the soul's seeking and ascending to union with God.  Also, I was reminded in a practical sense, of Pope John Paul II's mentor and spiritual director, Pere Reginald Garrigou-Lagrange. 

In the meantime, between the first emails including the journal review article, and the over three months post-operation and my having the capacity to read and absorb the review, the professor most kindly (I consider yet a miracle) has included me in email greetings on various feast days and solemnities, plus another inclusion, this of the film For the Greater Glory: the True Story of the Cristiada.  The Holy Spirit was not giving up on me even through my lingering distractions, sins, hurtfulness, and difficulty managing higher levels of pain.

So last night I emailed the professor, for the thought had come to ask her advice on what book by Garrigou-Lagrange she might recommend for me to read; I had collected most of his major titles intending to read, but the past over six years came and went, my library boxed until recently, and I briefly explained my plight physically and spiritually--wafting about--and my need and desire, both, to press onward.  

I am (we all are) called to better purpose and focus spiritually, in Christ.  I specifically, personally, need to fill in the craters in my mind, heart, and soul with what will teach and lead in spiritual holiness rather than what was over, done--blessed in their purpose and seasons but now on to what next.

The professor recommends to me Les Trois Ages de la Vie Interiure, Vols. 1 and 2 (Garrigou-Lagrange), and  two biographies:  San Juan de la Cruz (Crisogono) and Saint Jean de la Croix (Bruno de Jesus Marie).  While I have the Garrigou LaGrange volumes (The Three Ages of the Interior Life), and I have and have read the biography of St. John of the Cross by Crisogono, I do not have Bruno de Jesus Marie's volume so ordered it online.

Last night I began The Three Ages of the Interior Life, and already in the forward, I am benefitting greatly.  I have no huge aspirations other than to read and gain whatever portions in the present moment, trusting that whatever the Holy Spirit desires for me to absorb I will absorb, and however the information will lead me forth or provide holy insights and understanding of any and all matters of God, I will be grateful and blessed.

Not that these books are what the Holy Spirit is directing you to read at this time, I share the titles recommended by the professor and John of the Cross scholar, in case they may be of benefit to you now or at some other time.  

As for me, I need to begin again, anew, in what my late spiritual da had hoped for my future, in the last note he sent me, to return to reading good books and not to lose touch with the supernatural.  I need to have other to live and ponder than my devolving into distractions and temporal matters to the degree of less, rather than more, of His Real Presence.

Now, the added pain med plus Excedrin, being on icy pad, and writing of the holy and blessed reconnection from past, the pain seems quieted some.  I will rise, shower (a physical ordeal that increases pain), and return to icy pad on bed to pick up reading where I left off last night.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Thank you, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit for lifting me, carrying me, and  providing definitive guidance for specific spiritual reading.

Catholic Hermit Returns to More Spiritual Reading

In addition to balancing the beauty and goodness with life with simply and humbly enjoying life that God creates and gives, this nothing Catholic hermit is today beginning once again doing more spiritual reading.  

A spiritual friend across the miles had inquired late last summer what might be a good book, and she had an interest in St. John of the Cross.  The volume I highly recommend is that translated and edited by Kieran Kavanaugh, the title:  The Collected Works of John of the Cross.

The friend had another book she wanted to finish, and being a busy working wife, a mother of adult children, and friend to many, it has taken her these months.  I so understand--and I'm not a spouse to a human nor with adult children nearby, nor working a job out in the world in which I encounter many people.  Even so, I have been spiritually lazy--acedia, it is!--and also tired, and as mentioned, needing a type of natural balance including humor and visual beauty, to the intensity that can enter into a hermit's daily and nightly existence.

My mind has been on various, serious prayer intentions sent my way.  My mind has had to focus on learning construction skills and dealing with temporal hardships and financial concerns, as well as age and pain continue to march through the every present moments of temporal human existence.

But today the friend and I had set for beginning to read The Collected Works of John of the Cross.  I've read much of it but re-reading will seem as if the first time, I suspect!  So much construction, plumbing, electrical, and various other new "tricks" this Old Goat has had to learn in the past four years!  It seems that other knowledge has been shoved aside or even booted out of the brain!  I realize this is not the case, but it is at minimum stored in some vault as if locked away for eons.

I suggested that the friend, being far more busy with responsibilities to here-and-now people in her daily life, determine our reading plan and schedule.  She emailed that we will read two pages a day.  This is fine with me; it is not the number of pages nor even if we go by sections or ideas.  

What does it matter?  We will read two pages a day and find what we will find in our slow absorption of a man who lived his life in insightful and inspired holiness when on earth.  He continues to this day interacting in the lives of those of us who desire his acquaintance and spiritual guidance.

As a long-time friend reminds in emails regarding this hermit's major hermitage renovation over the past four years:  Slow and stead wins the race.

Today the body has been so fatigued by physical pain that eating protein, ingesting raw sugary stuff that usually gives an endorphin boost (even though not the best source to stimulate the brain chemicals that help with pain!), and resting until early afternoon, I've only managed one tray of drywall mud.

I'm trying to level out and form a 17' beam that has two sides wrapped with drywall, but the edge that butts to wood ceiling is not even.  And there are two places in which I should have cut back more drywall to make the beveling look better.  Not sure how many coats it may take to make it look lovely, smooth, and modified enough to not scream out: " I am not level!  I am not even or flush!  I have been reconfigured by an old hermit!"  And, that is, an old hermit who has had to become a construction apprentice without an onsite experienced builder...other than my angel, St. Joseph, and Jesus, of course!

I pray while I work, and the prayers continue for the young single mother of two boys whose double mastectomy and lymph gland surgery has been suddenly scheduled for tomorrow morning, 8:30 a.m. ET.  The sooner the better for this surgery since the cancer has spread to lymph nodes.  Sadly, an older person had to sacrifice her surgery spot as that person could not pass the treadmill test, so doubtful would survive surgery.  Heart issues--and this is how it is as we age.  It comes to a point that we are no longer an emergency, and it is as well to accept a natural death--as I put it, die the old-fashion way!

Most of life consists of bittersweet events.  Two views, two situations, two possibilities, two outcomes: the temporal view and the spiritual view.  Perception and attitude, love and mercy, affect the trajectory of how we choose to traverse the paths laid before us in our earthly pilgrimage.  And the choices help determine the outcome of the pathways into eternal life.  Salvation or perdition awaits each soul, whether we consider and factor these realities or not.

Now, this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit will fill the stainless steel drywall mud tray with another mound of this gorgeous, thick, creamy mud!  It is like sculpting, and I think of--is it Ezekiel--who wrote of the Lord's image of the potter at the wheel, forming the clay pots so metaphoric of how our souls are created and in the Hands of God Almighty!

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Let us love God in Himself and above all things...and love one others as God loves!

On Spiritual Direction for a Catholic Hermit

Yet another aspect of spiritual direction or spiritual counsel comes to mind, this morning.  This thought reflects upon the hermit him- or herself, seeking, needing, having spiritual direction.

Really, there are many factors involved in this topic, various conditions, numerous circumstances and considerations.

While adapting to the sad news (only a mystic or one who has had glorious death experience might understand this perspective) that this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit's lung and liver nodules and whatever the "splayed and frayed" quadrant of liver means--that no malignancy showed up on a PETScan, I had considered contacting a hermit monk/priest not too far away.  I thought it might be good to have a pep talk, of sorts.

But the days have dawned and dusked since that thought, and I have not made the contact nor traveled to visit Fr. P.  The body has had some increased pain, requiring more mattress time.  The remaining bodily energy has necessitated keeping the produce gardens watered.  The little roadside stand must be laden with God's best in vegetables and berries!

A primary inner response to my conversation with the Lord on the idea (probably my mind's thought, not His) of going for a pep talk from a fellow religious hermit, has been that it is unnecessary at this time.  I was asked, "What is the true need and motive?  What are you seeking from the visit?"

Good questions.  Also came the realities that with it soon being 16 years of commencement of my hermit vocation, postulancy, novitiate, and profession of private vows, that whatever pep talks I may think would make adaptations to increased pain and the disappointment of not soon dying of cancer, can be proffered by His Real Presence, solus Deus!

So true.  What were my motives for considering going to talk with Fr. P.?  Did I want someone to wave a magic wand and make somehow easier the refocusing on my hermit vocation and the daily life of prayer, praise, suffering, lectio Divina, manual labor, and living by the Spirit?

Do I really need to travel to talk with a fellow religious solitary?  Do I have some great turning point decision to make that I do not grasp nor that the Lord will show me and lead me through?  Am I on the verge of some major temptation to think or do something pivotally, mortally sinful?  Am I  having despair that His Real Presence is incapable of squelching, or am I assaulted by the devil in ways not recognizable, or in some dire self-deception that the Lord is not shining His Light upon?

To all these questions, the answer has been a simple "No."  Even the ups and downs and my own mind's deliberations on trying to get to Mass this weekend have been answered by the Lord's adding some weight to the physical cross of increased bodily pain.  Not able to drive and sit extra for participating in Mass--vigil last evening or Sunday, today.  Perhaps next week; the Lord will either allow the body to physically be able to go or not.  Must wait in the Order of the Present Moment, make the spiritual communions as often as His Real Presence suggests and that my subconscious and/or conscious mind responds.

(Now we can insert that if my mind were to be replaced by God's Mind, the spiritual communions would emanate and fructify spiritually regardless of my conscious or subconscious thoughts or agreements. Dear Lord, please--Thy Mind, not mine.  Am so excited about the prospects but recognize God rules time and all aspects of the temporal and spiritual!)

It is not that a consecrated Catholic hermit of the traditional, privately professed variety or of the more recently offered category of public profession received in the hands of a local ordinary (bishop) do not ever need spiritual direction or counsel by another person or superior after being a hermit "x" amount of years.  Far from that.  In fact, the publicly professed hermit (referred to by some as canonical hermit) are to be under the direct supervision of their diocese's bishop.

And for all hermits and indeed all Christians, Catholic or otherwise, it is excellent practice to have a spiritual mentor or for Catholics, a spiritual director, who can counsel, encourage, guide, suggest, and help motivate from time to time, in the soul's pilgrimage on earth.  The goal, after all, is union with God and to live by the Spirit in Christ Jesus, being freed from living under the law: to be as Christ, in Him, He in us.

Even spiritual directors--bishops, cardinals, the Pope himself--ought to have someone to turn to when need be.  A confessor, a guide, a spiritual mentor--all beneficial and in some cases, necessary.

The hermit, though, falls into a bit of a loophole depending upon how the Lord has unfolded the circumstances of his or her vocation.  We know for a fact that there have been and are today, some Catholic hermits whose vocations are more hidden than others, whose health or locale is such that traveling to a spiritual director is not always feasible.  Even confession may circumstantially need to be mostly (not always) done through begging God's mercy and asking His forgiveness for our sins that we pour out from our hearts to His Merciful and Sacred Heart.

So there is yet correspondence via surface mail as well as now the internet email as means of communicating with a spiritual counselor, mentor, guide.  Sometimes that is hindered, though.  For example this hermit's spiritual director does not now have access to direct phone lines and does not have a computer nor an email address.  I can leave a message, but more often than not, the message does not reach him.  I can send a letter, but his health is such that he does not respond often nor at length.

The other person I have relied upon for spiritual counsel has been a very spiritually adept order priest, but he is in Nigeria.  Internet services at his community's seminary and monastery are intermittent in functionality.  By the time he is able to read an email, the issues I have addressed are already unraveled and solved by His Real Presence, here in the silence of solitude of Te Deum Hermitage.

I do know that both priests pray for me root for me, and also have confidence that if I remain in His Love (as they each commend), all will go well and as God wills and desires.

There are the spiritual directors and mentors who have written tomes of wisdom and of all manner and types of spiritual obstacles and the means to overcome them in the temporal-mystical admixture of our earthly journeys and soul-seeking of union with His Real Presence.  We have the Catechism of the Catholic Church and access online to any Canon Law we may desire to consult.  But the latter is not usually the type of concern or obstacle to a consecrated hermit.

Mostly, our issues revolve around the inner life of which there can be any number of pitfalls.  The devil lurks always, hoping to cause mischief to outright chaos in order to distract us and uproot our vocations, our daily lives, our prayers, our very souls.

Yet for this hermit here, in the past several weeks, although there have been distractions and chaos, and my daily routine disrupted, and my mind definitely filled with lots of thoughts that were not God's Thoughts, there really has been nothing needing my seeking human guidance when His Real Presence and my guardian angel (Beth!) has been using temporal and spiritual circumstances to unfold according to God's Will and His Mind's Wisdom.

I know what I'm to be doing.  I know what I must ponder and pray about. I know what is required of me in my hermit vocation, my daily practices, my spiritual reading, my prayer life, my praise of God.  This is a phase in which, His Will having replaced my will, the main sticking point is that of my mind and ideas and thoughts needing to be subsumed and filled in with his Mind, His Insights, His Wisdom.  And that, I know, like all else in the temporal and especially the spiritual realms, requires a process that includes earth time and also some suffering, some dying such as death of my own intellect.

The Lord will let me know when I do need to have a visit with Fr. P. or even a parish priest, and He will allow me the physical health and capability to travel to that person, or the ability for that person to travel to my hermitage.  The time it was evidently necessary for the spiritual director to return a message and then to write a letter, he did so.  God had it all flow without obstacles.  And I got the message, and I am striving to fulfill the advice.  The recent email from Fr. V. in Nigeria contains some prayer requests on his end as well as the reminder to remain in His Love and all will be well, and God will lead and guide thoroughly, competently.

I suppose at a certain age in a hermit's chronology and after enough years of being a consecrated Catholic hermit of either type, there is a reality to the admonition to "go into your cell and your cell with teach you."  Particularly for a hermit, being called out of the world in a stricter separation from the world, the battles fought are mostly interior, of the mind, heart, spirit, soul.

And these require prayer, listening, perseverance, sticking to the daily routine, the Rule of Life, and adherence to His Living Word in faith, hope, and charity.  If one has been received into the Order of the Present Moment, in which St. Joseph is patron, the habit is whatever one happens to be wearing at any given moment, the Virgin Mary the novice mistress and His Real Presence the Superior and Spouse, when the devil is allowed to stir and confuse, the hermit is in very good Hands.

When His Real Presence desires a visit to or from a spiritual director, or a message sent and received, that will happen, of course.  God does all, provides all.

Above all, again, these reflections vary depending upon the individual hermit or anyone, actually, and upon the varying circumstances of each individual body, mind, heart, and soul.  Truly, a hermit does need consistent spiritual direction or some type of guided formation along the way, especially in the earlier years of the vocation.  

Yet also, the hermit always needs to be on the alert to the prowling of the devil no matter how old or how many years a hermit.  Thus, one should always have a holy priest or saintly hermit contact, to call upon in any present moment.  God will provide either Himself or a priest or spiritual guide, an angel or human, when necessary.  He knows!  He does not leave us to be devoured by the evil one!

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love God above all things and one another as Jesus love us!

Why a Mystery?

Awoke in what is becoming typical break-through pain.  Had attempted, last evening, one small bit of activity--very minor and minimal--a task, on yard upkeep.  It was obviously too much for the severe muscle problem in upper back.  Due to the level of pain and inability to do much of anything using that area of back and the right arm, the muscle is perhaps torn, not sprained.  Or is it the pain and solitude playing upon the mind, heart, and spirit?

Have been pondering why the recent viewing of light, British mystery.  And also why the disinterest and detachment from current news of this temporal world?

It has to do with phases of the mind, heart, and soul--and also very much the body.  Did a small bit of research; the internet is excellent for that.  Had already figured that the Lord was answering the prayer to detach this hermit from temporal loves and to be increasingly attached to His Love--and thus love in His Love, all His Creatures and Creation.

As to why the viewing of the gentle (some are tense and more violent) British mystery videos, the hermit already knew it was using them as a form of detaching from higher levels of physical pain.  The mindless aspects and somewhat predictable outcomes of justice prevailing in the end, were soothing when the mind is besieged trying to manage severe pain.  Often enough, the music and lilting British accents and the bucolic scenery of English countryside and more gentle and restrained characters, lulled the hermit into dozing.

Current news clips do not do that; they are not soothing, and often enough it is just one crime or outrage or wrong-doing after another.  One knows without watching, what one is to pray for in the world.  The categories are obvious, and the events repeat themselves, horrible as they are and disastrous, and the magnitude of human suffering from evils perpetrated or untruths and maneuvering, of man's inhumanity to man, of the decline of morality and religious freedom, of poverty--the realities are known.  Prayers are needed and offered.

Mysteries--fictionalized--offer an opiate and an escape.  There is a control over a situation but second- or third-hand, from outside observation.  Wrongs are righted.  Clues are presented, and the mind is engaged in some degree or other, or does not have to be; the show begins and ends within a brief period of temporal time.  Justice prevails.  Themes of man's minds and souls are unveiled--themes of all mankind since the beginning, since the Garden of Eden.  Good vs. Evil and choices to be made--and man overcoming the evil, the wrongs, the lacking of good turning to increase in good, for the time being.

There is a linkage between a mystery and God in the Mass.  The other day, resting on this mattress and trying to cope with the pain and have a break from asking God some questions about how to proceed with so much work needing to be done here and the body incapacitated and for who knows how long--noticed a program that involved the paranormal but yet a mystery.  However, it was tense and unnerving, and justice was not served in the end. That one did not at all lead this hermit's body, mind, heart or spirit in any upward movement toward God--not even in any way the hermit can usually bring some holy good out of most incidents or situations.

But when in the research on why people are drawn to mysteries, the point was made that they can be a simple escape and a type of opiate, that made sense as to the recent inclusion of some of the gentler forms of the mystery, in the hermit's daily life.  

Yesterday was able to read another homily of Pseudo-Macarius, but the severe pain in upper back vies for mental space, and the result was rather exhausting--yet there is assurance when reading spiritually beneficial material, that the conclusion will always be uplifting even if the mind cannot grasp much content.  Any of the content of a solidly spiritual book, and the writings of ascertained holy persons, is going to be an increase in the good.

When the body is 22 hours or more in prone position, and trying to manage pain, and praying for guidance, and trying to be quieted to listen to His Real Presence, relief to the suffering is most welcome and helpful.  We must latch onto what God provides even if it seems not what would lead us into His Love and upward spiraling.  Some aspects might surprise us, and with a little thought and asking, and listening, and a little research (consulting others who have background in various topics), we get answers to something as simple as why does a person enjoy or benefit from a mystery?

However, this phase is also temporary for this hermit.  Upon waking at 3 a.m. this time, it was the reading of His Living Word that soothed even if the pain is such that the mind cannot cling to the Words themselves.  The soul is able to cling to the Word Himself.  It feels reassured and good that the mind has read the Word, and there are bits that remain conscious, such as that of being consecrated.  Jesus speaks of being consecrated.  St. Paul talks of perseverance.  More than that, in detail or comprehension, the mind escapes and now is listening to the chirping birds as dawn breaks.

God bless His Real Presence in us, and us in Him!  Let us love with His love, one another.  Praise Him for the healing of our bodies, minds, hearts, and spirits--in all ways that He chooses, for differing situations and in the passing away of this world, our world in the temporal, and for the permanence of existing in His Love for eternity.

Catholic Hermits Read

Yes, consecrated Catholic hermits read, in addition to the Living Word of God (Scripture), other writings that teach and uplift the body, mind, heart, and spirit.  In just this small selection from Pseudo-Dionysius, much benefit comes at all levels, temporal and spiritual.  His Real Presence speaks through others--those who are through, with, and in Him and of whom He chooses what inspirations to be put ink to paper, or in our times, finger to keyboard.

The following is a selection from The Divine Names (Pseudo-Dionysius: The Complete Works).

"...I praise the super-powerful God for being omnipotent, blessed, the sole and mighty ruler, as sovereign in the reign of eternity.  He has in no way fallen from being.  Rather, in His transcendent power He is above all things and has advance possession of all things.  He it is who has granted  the power to be everything.  This gift of existence comes through the unstinted out-pouring of His overwhelming power."

"Again, the title 'Righteousness' is given to God because He assigns what is appropriate to all things; He distributes their due proportion, beauty, rank, arrangement, their proper and fitting place and order, according to a most just and righteous determination.  He is cause of their individual activity.  It is the righteousness of God which orders everything, setting boundaries, keeping things distinct and unconfused, giving each thing what it inherently deserved....What they really should know is that the righteousness of God is truly righteousness in that it gives the appropriate and deserved qualities to everything and that it preserves the nature of each being in its due order and power.

"Someone might say that it is not a characteristic of righteousness to leave pious men without some help when they are oppressed by the wicked.  To this the answer must be that if those whom you describe as pious are actually lovers of things basely sought on earth, then they have certainly fallen away from the yearning for God.  

"Would they not be closer to the virtues of the angels if, in their longing for the things of God, they shed their attachment to material things and bravely trained themselves for this in their quest for the beautiful?  It would be very much more in keeping with righteousness if God were to refrain from undermining the courage of the noblest ones through giving them material goods, if He were to give help to them when anyone tried to corrupt them, if He strengthened them in their admirable and firm steadiness, and if He gave them whatever befits their calling."

If one reads aloud and slowly the above words and thoughts, they seep into the understanding and intellect.  It is all truth.  And it is appropriate and applicable to each of us in whatever our God-given calling--single or married, consecrated, or holy orders.

Yet it is something to ask ourselves, if in our various callings:  Do we place more longing for the temporal aspects of the calling, than in a quest and yearning for the beautiful, for God?  And that question may be asked consciously or subconsciously in the Order of the Present Moment, in any given moment.  

Regardless the answer, which is quite individual and personal and can change in our shifts in and out of righteousness, we have God's assurance that when we are confounded by our trials and seeming lack of or distraction by material things as well as oppressive persons and situations--God is most certainly and righteously strengthening us, and gives us the qualities that each of us need for our individual natures and at the right time and with the perfect amount of power. 

It is good to rest in these truths of righteousness, and to pray for and in His righteousness' sake.  If we do find ourselves beset by temporal clashes and obstacles with people and situations, including within our own selves (which can be the worst form of chaos), then we can know for sure that we have lost our way, lost our yearning for God, and are too attached to material things.

Then it is high time we immediately detach from what hinders us of attachment, and that can be thoughts in the mind--concerns and upsets of a material and human nature--and return to training our intellects and wills for the sole and soulful delight in seeking the beautiful in which God is truth, beauty, and goodness.

And it can be quite the interesting and blessed exercise to yearn for God with all our body, mind, heart, and spirit--and to thank Him for the outpouring of His omnipotence into our beings, from His Being.  We are given the power necessary to quest for His Beautiful in our daily lives, and to find His Beautiful moment by moment, and return to righteousness in Him, when we falter back to our earthly attachments.  We can know by His powerful truth, that we are given exactly as we need according to His perfect and eternal knowing, power, and presence.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, and remain in His Love, for God Is Love!

Aha and Ha Ha!

After listening to music of amazing singers on internet, which after awhile realized not necessary and wasted time, began what thought would be the skimming and scanning of the next chapters in the book the young spiritual friend and this nothing Catholic hermit are reading, per her spiritual director's recommendation.

Was figuring it would continue to go on and on with tertiary-source wordage by the author, after his reading of the two saints' primary source writings and then the secondary source research and writings of the past, per the saints' writings.

But an "aha" moment met the eyes, mind, and heart in the first paragraph in the next chapters we had agreed upon to read, and then laughter.  The ha-ha-ha is on this hermit, and in a fun and good way, for His Real Presence (and no doubt the late author of this book on John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila, and maybe the saints themselves) were letting this nothing here know would not want to skim or scan further.

Actually, what the late author of the book writes of the saints contains details this nothing had stuffed too far back in to recall.  Marvelous it is to now recall them--encouraging and inspiring.  Have more tidbits to relate with regarding their daily lives, and am reminded of the great kinship with them, and the personality linkage, too, here and there.

Plus, what he writes based upon what other authors had researched and learned of these two saints, is helpful, too.  So am reading contextually and fully engaged.  Now must make up for lost time and catch up!  Thought could just skim or scan it this morning, and be on point.  Yet even that was all right in a humbling way, very good.  Had to rely on the friend to do the talking and pointing out, even though she wanted this nothing to comment, particularly on the chapter of their mystical experiences.  But no, was not prepared, and how laughable yet instructive, all this!  Aha and ha, ha, ha.

One thing that stands out of just a minor point:  the late author confuses mystics with contemplatives.  He comments that Teresa of Avila became spiritual director to her own father and her brother, and that they each ended up being mystics.  It is just a confusion of term definition, but it seems worth explaining.  Mystics are born as mystics; it is nothing one can learn or become.  Contemplatives is the word the author no doubt meant.  

Everyone is called to be a contemplative and can learn and grow into more contemplative prayer and natures, even if not all will receive the same graces or levels of contemplative prayer.  At a certain point, union with God is His choice, timing, and doing.  He desires it for all of us, though, and we can and ought desire and grow toward His desire and will for us into contemplation of His Real Presence.

If make the space in the daily life to re-read the excellent book by scholar David Knowles, Mystics and Mysticism, can clarify better the difference between mystics and contemplatives.  Even mystics ought learn contemplation.  While they may be disposed instinctively toward it, they are not born contemplatives but are born as mystics.  There are mystics who conceivably might not be contemplatives in life, although like all of us, they should desire and strive in contemplation.

All in all, it is so marvelous that His Real Presence and the late author of the book now reading, and the saints themselves, and perhaps some of the authors who provided secondary source research for the third-source late author, have shown this nothing Catholic hermit not to assume a thing about books or style of writing.  Yes, Teresa of Avila tended to write at length, herself.  An interesting tidbit gleaned today in reading is that she said she wished she could write with a pen in both hands; the thoughts came to her that fast and wished to get them all down.

An Episcopalian spiritual friend many years ago wrote saying he could not stand reading Teresa of Avila's writings because she would go on and on in one topic and then lose the trail and head off in another direction, writing on and on, sometimes not returning to her original points.  Also, the sisters of St. Teresa's discalced Carmelite convent, well into the reform, asked John of the Cross to write an explanation of his three spiritually profound poems.  (Yes, what some think are books, like Dark Night of the Soul, are actually poems.)  So he wrote a few hundred pages explaining the meaning of the poems, which combined account for a few pages (depending upon print and if in verse and stanza format).   

The aha and ha ha ha are on this nothing Catholic hermit!  Love it!  Happy reading!  Will love it, too.  Still tiny print and oodles of words, but the information can be helpful and useful in various aspects.  At least the late author is by no means a bloviator.  Bloviating is something all writers should avoid.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another.

Discernment of Spirits, Phenomenon

When one receives a spiritual gift such as a locution or mystical scent (Jung refers to it as the pneuma of the Holy Spirit), it is well to discern the source and the meaning.

The first time this hermit experienced the odor of spiritual perfume (another way it is expressed), it followed the first corporeal vision of its deceased grandmother.  She appeared in the night as an actual body, dressed, younger than her age at earthly death, and gave a message from God.  The hermit (not then a hermit and not then a Catholic) did not know the terminology of such phenomenon nor the difference between an image-type vision (imaginary, they are called although quite actual and not of the common notion of imagination) or corporeal vision (when a body manifests on a corpus, very much present, visible, and as if could reach out and touch).

As for the strong profusion of perfumed scent that filled the room for several minutes following the grandmother's dissipation or disappearance, there accompanied the vision and resultant sense phenomenon, a tremendous peace within and all about the room.  The peace exuded close to the purest love this hermit experienced in ordinary life existence (does not reach the level of love experienced in the mystical state during Mass nor that of the death experience).

Yesterday morning, when the hermit experienced the spiritual perfume, it checked out any possible temporal possibilities for such a scent.  This was easily accomplished given the hermitage living conditions.  The walls are all but gutted, ceilings gutted, and rat nests removed, but there has not been yet bleach sprayed on other rat urine-soaked wood, nor are their toiletries unpacked that could have given off perfumed scent. The hermit itself had not the luxury of bathing for two weeks, and the body, clothing, and bedding certainly did not smell sweet.

A sense of peace accompanied the thoughts presented interiorly in the early morning prayers.  The day unfolded with more assurances from His Real Presence.  A trip to a physician of whom the daughter found on the internet, with good reviews, but who knows--resulted in a tremendous consolation.  Without expressing the financial situation, the doctor did a procedure that prevented cancerous growth, and charged shockingly little.  (The hermit then did express how much that meant and said why.)

Plus, what is more unusual, is that the night before this doctor appointment, an email came from a dear friend of 30 years ago.  He is 95, and he gave news of health trials he is undergoing.  The hermit had been holding him in prayer, even though this lovely soul would certainly be chosen by God to be conformed to His image and likeness through suffering. But imagine the shock when the hermit met this doctor, and he had the build, facial structure, features, gestures, voice, hair cut and glasses of the man not seen in person, in 25 years!  And the friend is as generous and Christian as this doctor, too.

The Lord was letting the hermit know through each touch of love from the beyond into the temporal, that He is with the hermit.  The hermit must persevere (although the temporal is not guaranteed a temporal success); the hermit must remain here for now; the hermit must keep at the efforts spiritually, prayerfully, and physically.

___________________

The locution of a few weeks ago regarding worship with the hermit monks, was tested this past Sunday.  "Not for you" proved to be from the Holy Spirit.  This hermit went to their small chapel, and waited for the service with a handful of other people.  Many externals provided answers to the test of that locution.  While the externals certainly meant something to those of that tradition, there were little warning signs for this hermit that truly, this was "not for you." 

Fifteen or so minutes into the service, with the hermit monks remaining behind some doors but chanting, and the hermit toward the back of the small chapel, it also knew the mystical state that occurs at all Masses of the Catholic Church, was not going to transpire any more than it does not in Protestant or Evangelical services.  Not that not having the mystical state is a concern of this hermit, it has proven over time to be a sign from His Real Presence, for this hermit.

Regardless the various details of discernment in the externals present or of the interior sense, was able to quietly slip away and return to Te Deum Hermitage, and accept that for whatever the Lord's reasons, "not for you" was what He meant regarding active involvement in another worship tradition.  (And this is not to say that the Lord did not approve of that form for those who feel called to it.  In His house there are many mansions, and He has gone ahead and prepared a room for each of us.)

__________________

This is a cursory glance at discernment of spirits and phenomenon.  Of course, it takes experience with experiences, prayer, and also, each time, a healthy dose of doubt-until-tested stance.  The devil can be quite tricky; but the bulk of spiritual masters who achieved holiness in this life and left their classic writings as guidelines, all concur that a general proof of the Spirit is His peace that passeth all understanding.  One can also review a spiritual experience with one's spiritual director, who presumably is experienced with such matters, personally.

Those who fear spiritual experiences, such as various priests or bishops this hermit has encountered, tend to brush off such events and warn (often misdirecting John of the Cross' writings on the topic) to ignore all spiritual experiences.  If they add to that advice, to "stay grounded," this latter is excellent and ought to rule one's reactions.  

However, John of the Cross in his explanatory writings of his trilogy of poetry (Ascent of Mount Carmel, Dark Night of the Soul, Living Flame of Love) advised not being caught up in phenomenon when the senses are being purged; however later in his writings, he explains that, of course, spiritual phenomenon provides a repertoire, and is a means for God to inform and to guide the soul who has passed through other stages.  

Obviously, the saints, the mystics, popes, priests, and pilgrims, and their various advisers did not disregard their spiritual experiences, or we'd not have any writings from them, and they would not have followed God's locutions to them, nor those of the Virgin Mary.  We would not have the miraculous medal, nor the Dialogues of Jesus to St. Catherine of Siena, nor reforms of various religious orders, nor the Divine Mercy chaplet, etc.  But these experiences need to be discerned and tested, and His Real Presence is not offended when we do.  For one thing, learning to discern mystical phenomenon is a way in which the soul is strengthened and gains experience in the spiritual journey.

This hermit's purpose is not to teach others the detailed specifics of how to discern spirits but to share through its experiences, snippets of example and outcomes.  There are books written on the topics, but to read the lives of saints and mystics is also a good way to learn how they learned.  Plus, we can help one another.  This hermit gets specific when people write or call, asking for discernment help in their spiritual experiences.

_______________

Oh, that reminds....  A friend emailed asking if she interpreted a dream properly, or if she was missing something.  We have been working on her dream interpretation abilities, and she had the dream "nailed," as is said nowadays.  She wasn't sure if the man in the dream telling her some things was St. Francis de Sales or Dom Lorenzo Scupoli.  

This hermit forgot to ask for description of the man; but truly, if one does not know, it does not matter who, although sometimes it helps with our understanding of the message or reason for their being the messenger.  And, if God wants us to know who, as important in some aspect of the message or our spiritual journey, He will let us know at some point, definitively who is the messenger.

In any spiritual experiences, we ought thank His Real Presence, of which the Holy Spirit sends messages through various means, including souls on the other side.  Then, one can also thank whatever soul it may have been, or both or many.  They understand.  As we progress in discerning spirits, less and less does His Real Presence need to have a soul manifest itself, or our angel manifest corporally; we learn the finer nuances of inner sensing:  sight, smell, hearing, touching and tasting.  

There is so much that could be written regarding if the phenomenon is not of His Real Presence, but one can thank His Real Presence regardless.  If not of God, then the devil will shrink from our acknowledging God and ignoring the devil.  And God will not let a sincere and God-loving, fearing soul remain fooled for long.  A sincere and God-love, fearing soul will discern the spirits, even if there are mistakes along the way.  Yes, His Real Presence teaches those who love Him through many means both spiritually and temporally.



As always:  God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, and remain in His Love!


Note:  It seems that many or most bishops and priests in our time period do not have the time to be spent in reading the actual details, such as the breadth of John of the Cross' words, or some of the older books written by those who did have time to become specialists in the mystical and spiritual life.  It is a sign of our more complex times and the many administrative tasks priests and bishops must now tend.) 

The good news is that there is nothing at all stopping any of us from reading and learning.  This hermit developed a solid library by locating online and in used book sellers, many of the titles that Archbishop Tanquerey lists in his seminal writing (used to be required reading for seminarians in the earlier part of 20th c.):  Treatise on the Spiritual Life.  It is in print, paperback, through Tan Publishing, or used to be.  Some hardbound copies can be located online, used.)