Catholic Hermit Delights in "Live by the Spirit"

From today's second Scripture reading from Mass, we have this truth:

"I say, then: live by the Spirit
and you will certainly not gratify the desire of the flesh.
For the flesh has desires against the Spirit,
and the Spirit against the flesh;
these are opposed to each other, 
so that you may not do what you want,
But if you are guided by the Spirit, you are not under the law."

These Living Words delight this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit!  They are sheer truth, and the recent death of my will is a marvelous assist in living by the Spirit.

However, my own thoughts, notions, ideas, intellect--oh, how my mind needs to be replaced by God's Mind.  For, my own intellect stirs ideas and notions--even if not "bad"--do frustrate and work against His Will.  God's Will is in union with the Spirit, of course.  His Will is the Spirit's and the Spirit's His.

So it comes to the point that my ideas and thoughts can essentially and do--oppose what God's Ideas and Thoughts are, in deed and in truth.  My own ideas can seem perfectly all right, such as thinking I should try to get Raphael to come and help finish this hermitage, so that I can sell and be out from under the on-going work load and financial constraints, in order to focus more on spiritual writing, simplifying, solidifying.

Yet when I live by the Spirit, when His Will has replaced my own will, which it did the Wednesday after Easter last, my thoughts and ideas, good and reasonable as they may seem, are not going to be realized if not His Thoughts and Ideas.

Even my spiritual director's thoughts and ideas, so bluntly and even unexpectedly humorously stated, are not so easily accomplished if at all, without some manual labor help or a miracle.  "Get the damn house done and get to your writing!"  my spiritual father wrote a couple weeks ago.  

Well, yes, I want to!  In fact, there was a health consideration that was looking to be very serious, and my mind generated thoughts accordingly, and made calls to empty out the last of the coffers, to sell off stuff, to hire Raphael to come and finish the place, to hire the neighbor boy to assist in what time I might have remaining to do so.

But, no, these were not God's Thoughts and Ideas--not His Mind.  Raphael was to come last Monday noon.  He never came; he's not responded over the ensuing days to four phone messages.  A Lowe's cabinet employee made yet another error and ordered the wrong kitchen base cabinet.  The installer had to leave for he could not proceed.  Who knows how long it will be before he can return--perhaps a few weeks after the correct cabinet comes in at least a couple or three weeks from now.

So I can't even finish the kitchen--probably not until some time in August.  For then once the installer has a free spot in his busy schedule and cabinets installed, then we wait for the countertop measurer, then we wait for the countertops.  In the meantime, there is no sink.  Yes, I'm most thankful for a bathtub at this point, although it is painful on the back and the increased area of pain and potential difficulty, leaning over to wash a bowl and a spoon in the tub.

The way in which my mind was so sure, given a trip to ER by the EMS a couple weeks ago due to horrific pain, that God was preparing to take me out of this temporal realm, had to face it that my mind was not in syncopation with God's Mind.  God's Will is in me, yes.  But His Mind has not yet replaced mine, obviously.  And in a similar way in which the flesh can be opposed to the Spirit, our own minds, our intellects, can be opposed to God's Mind and Intellect--His Omniscience.  

So in similar effect as when our flesh opposes the Spirit and we cannot do what we want, if our minds and thoughts, our intellects are not His Mind, His Thoughts, His Intellect--we will not be in cohesion in powerful union of His Mind and Will.  Again, the will and the intellect take center position within our souls.  When God's Will replaces our wills, and His Mind replaces our minds, we can grasp how the effect can be--what power in prayer and action, in interactions and in beingness results!

The other statement of the above Scripture that is so delightfully significant and invaluable is that if we are guided by the Spirit, we are not under the law.

Duh, as teenagers used to say when something is obvious.  If our wills and our minds are replaced by God's Will and His Mind, we are totally living in the Spirit.  His Will reigns; our ideas and thoughts no longer oppose His Ideas and Thoughts for His Mind has replaced our intellects.

We no longer are under the law.

This is significant because it places us so in the Spirit, in the center of God's "Soul", so to speak, that we will not be needing the law of minds.  We will do and think and speak in the Spirit, from the center of God's Will and His Mind.  Rules of minds of mankind, good as they can be, and helpful, are superseded by the existence in the Spirit.

All the more, the formulas and all the details of ways of doing and the laws of Church traditions and concern over this interpretation of this or that canon, or the need for some to criticize others who they think are not living in accordance with this or that law of mortal minds, no matter how inspired the minds may be--not necessary when God's Will and God's Mind have replaced ours.  We then live by the Spirit.

Praying for our will to die and God's Will be in us, and to then beseech the Lord to replace our intellects with His Mind--so important!  Even if our wills have died, and His will is in us--that is a major grace and worth all the suffering leading up to the death of our own wills.  Having yet our own thoughts and ideas, then, are irritating and oppositional to what would otherwise be supreme flow of God's Mind and His Will informing and guiding us.  

In my case, the only glitch in this latest episode of temporal life has been that my thoughts were excitedly geared to the surreal aspect of impending physical death.  It has been a marvelous experience, and perhaps some sort of test by His Real Presence.  For what I thought and even what a CT Scan indicated and ER and primary care physicians thought, ended up not being the reality.  The PET Scan results were normal.  Liver lesions, nodules and lung lining nodule evidently benign.

And I faced yesterday and today the immense disappointment of not, at least by that type of illness and death, to be soon on my way to the other side.  Once more, I am realizing that God's Mind has not yet replaced my mind, even in the bit of resentment and frustration now, of having to deal with another area of increased pain.  

Ought I try to find out if the tear in the upper quadrant of liver will heal on its own, or if somehow was it a misread scan, or if this higher level pain in the liver region is from the always-painful back?  Perhaps it is radiating pain, and that causes the pain to then locate in liver region, and then radiate to the intestines, causing all kinds of painful distending, debilitating the body with distracting--pain!

Another option, of course, in praying for God's Mind to replace ours (or mine, anyway), is to practice cooperating.  Maybe just not seek answers as to why the one scan showed a splayed and frayed upper liver quadrant, as the ER doctor described?  Let God's Mind give whatever answers if any needed.  I suppose none are.  The Will of God and Mind of God working in union with the Son and the Spirit, really do not need to tell me information of some bodily ailment, one way or another.

Just live by the Spirit in the Order of the Present Moment.  My own ideas were to find out what was wrong, and of course the doctors said I must be referred for a Pet Scan and lung nodule specialist to deal with the lung as more sizable a nodule and the liver to be dealt with later.  We live among others who are more under the law and not living by the Spirit, and that also can encourage the opposition that we may be praying for in desiring our minds to be replaced by God's Mind.

God's Mind does not think as our minds do.  God's Mind was not running off in all directions, excitedly planning a huge end-of-life sale, of trying to hire people to help finish the work quickly, in figuring out where to go to die, in thinking of how to "get to my writing" and deciding perhaps doing videos to share aspects of my mystical life and insights of His Real Presence to anyone, if anyone, who might wish to read or watch.

God's Mind was putting me through an exercise, dramatically showing me how I have a ways to go to let loose my mind, my thoughts, my ideas, my interpretations, my living under the law, and how it is to live by the Spirit.  A mystic-hermit-parent (what I wanted on my tombstone) would not be thinking of such details, making such plans.  Rather, God's Mind would be simply listening and then returning to do what it could do, in the present moment, and letting God's Will and God's Mind cooperatively unfold whatever changes, if any.

And God's Mind, such as today, would not be kind of put out, teed off, with the "thought" of having to remain in such major manual labor work-mode, here, and with having to assimilate more and more bodily pain, and being rather tired out between work and pain, to "get to the spiritual writing!".  God's Mind would be accepting of the Order of the Present Moment and not even be put out with the disappointment of staying in the temporal for who-knows-how long.

It is all right.  I had at one point exclaimed within, "Cruel!  Cruel!"  But it is all right that I am not soon to have my mystical marriage consummated with physical death, not yet.  This is a significant lesson learned, that if I want God's Mind instead of my bungling thoughts and ideas, or even those of others in the world, I must relinquish my mind fully.  And I must live by the Spirit in the Order of the Present Moment, even to the point of perhaps not pursuing anything more about the liver's splaying and fraying area.  No need to think on it with my mind.

God's Mind can do all the thinking for us.  And until we let His Mind do so, we will not be living by the Spirit, not fully.  Our thoughts will off and on, without notice, be in opposition at times, with His Mind--even if His Will has already replaced our wills.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love God above all things and one another as Jesus loves us.  Pray that His Will and His Mind replace ours, as that will assist us so much in living by the Spirit Who is Love, and no longer under the law of minds.

Savor the Living Word

Savor the Living Word of God.  Hold the Word deep within the heart and soul.  Use the mind to recognize the truth in the Word.  Let the reality of His Word break through other precepts or inclinations varying from the Living Word that is true, always, in any age, time, or place.

So it is that the other morning when I read the Scriptures, specifically from Romans in the Second Reading for the First Sunday in Lent, His Real Presence impressed upon me once more the depth and breadth of God's Law of Love that reigns supreme over any other laws.  Here it is yet again, more truth:

"Brothers and sisters:
What does Scripture say?
The word is near you,
in your mouth and in your heart
--that is, the word of faith that we preach--,
For, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord
and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead,
you will be saved.
For one believes with the heart and so is justified,
and one confesses with the mouth and so is saved.
For the Scriptures says,
No one who believes in him will be put to shame.
For there is no distinction between Jew and Greek;
the same Lord is Lord of all,
enriching all who call upon him.
For 'everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.'"

It is so simple, is it not?  Yet when we take on the law of minds and taught precepts which become so preached as to seem like doctrine, and place these other aspects before and above, with more emphasis than on the Law of God--the law of Love, the Royal Law--we lose the power we are given of Christ, of faith in His Real Presence, of loving God above all things and loving others as ourselves.

Let us be humbled by the profundity of the Living Word of God! Let us do away with judging others.  Let us melt the niggardly lines of the increasing profusion of laws of minds that divide us--even divide those within the Church, even within consecrated vocations, within congregations, within parishes among parishioners.  What good is there in that?  Does the Lord smile upon such judging and divisional, picayune minutia?  

The Word made flesh is in those of us who love and believe and live His law of Love.  He is the same Lord Who Is Lord of all and Who hears our voices when we call upon him.  He shall save all of us who call on the name of the Lord and believe in Him!

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit Continues Manual Labor, Praying

Have appreciated the daily Mass Scripture readings.  The Lord speaks to us in His Living Word!

Although am physically weary from pain, age, and life efforts, I will continue today with the praying while laboring around the hermitage.  After several days of helping family members prepare their house for selling, am returned to hermitage.  Then made another journey to the lumber yard early yesterday to pick up a very good deal that Craig offered this hermit.

I noticed when at the lumber yard returning some fence wood that we did not need at the family member's house, a double-paned, solid wood, exterior French door in the store's "bone yard."  (The bone yard is what many lumber companies call their area of returned items, usually special orders returned by customers for one reason or another, and then discounted to sell.  Bone yard deals have helped this hermit immensely in rehabilitating this hermitage.)

Yes, Craig made a deal I could not pass up.  The door is an inch or so shorter than normal exterior doors, but it will be lovely to replace an old, vinyl sliding door.  It's odd size will fit just fine since that side of the room has a lower ceiling line than the normal 8', while the ceiling then vaults to the other side to 11' or so.  An inch or two is not going to matter, in door height.

Since my summer helper is evidently not going to be assisting any more (Mass situation probably too difficult and awkward for his parents to assimilate and accept--and can't blame them), the new neighbor boys have been eager to help out on occasion.  What is marvelous about this development is that they ask far less per hour than my young Catholic helper wanted, plus they can just walk to assist even in something relatively small as helping unload the new and heavy French door from the pick-up, Precious Blood.

Tomorrow one of the teens will return to help install it.  God provides!  Each door weighs a substantial amount, and this old hermit cannot lift them nor hold them steady and at the same time screw the hinges to the frame.  Our guardian angels do so much in helping us--and that includes arranging for helpers when we need!

As for my summer Catholic helper and his parents, I did call and leave a message, offering the work to him first out of loyalty and love.  But already, with finances continuing to dwindle, I was open to the new neighbor boys and their much lower hourly wage-requests.  I always consider that God provides in the way He wills and desires.  Perhaps there is some reason for the hermit to interact with the new lads, for the summer helper will always remain in this hermit's heart of prayers.  Such a dear and sweet boy and lovely, loving family will always be remembered with prayers and thankfulness.

Looking back upon the priest and Mass situation at the area parish, it most certainly would seem terrible to others--and quite judgmental of me to have said what was seen and sensed within.  Only God and this hermit and the spiritual father and the priests and spiritual friends who have known me for years understand that I would never have seemingly judged, thus, had it not been for the intensity of the unfiltered state during Mass which senses so clearly truth, beauty, goodness--and also that which degrades, is unhealthy and counters truth, beauty, and goodness.

This nothing consecrated Catholic hermit is at peace with acceptance of what has transpired since and in obedience to my spiritual father.  The Lord has been teaching much in the past three months of mostly the silence of solitude, being hidden from the eyes of men, in praise and prayer and penance!  What is a sacrifice is proving to be prayerful offering for all priests, for all parishioners, for the Church, for this my soul and all souls--here and in eternity. 

God Bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us learn to love to live God's law of love--the fulfillment of all laws.  Love God and one another!

Catholic Hermit: A Bit About Mystical Ecstasy

Went to Mass last Sunday--and what was to be the most crowded was thankfully not all that full.  People later remarked it was about half the usual attendance.  Something else of the world going on, they said; the people went to the other weekend Masses.

The spiritual father had suggested this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit sit with the family who had suggested it be in the pew with them, to avert possible concern or misunderstood touching leading to injuries.  So the hermit did that despite not really wanting to be in a crowded situation.  Must die to self.  Must.

Dying to self is not easy.  This hermit thinks it has come to some aspect of dying to self only to discover there are many more aspects yet to death and dying.

Per the past seven years during any Mass in any parish, no matter what, the ecstasy began in full swoop during the first reading of the Living Word of God.  Inklings begin at the very onset of Mass, however.  But the total removal of all physical faculties occurs when the first Scripture reading commences.

During the homily, there was an intrusion by the priest.  It was most uncomfortable--just something termporal that tells a lot about the personality or needs of the priest, thus temporal, thus not bliss.  It is good to reflect upon this own hermit's life and moments spent, day and night.  The temporal does not equate with spiritual bliss, does it?  No, and that is probably a huge part of the cross we humans bear, for we are human and temporal although dying to seek and acquire His love, His enraptured bliss--even if we do not realize this is our desire.  

Often, the temporal distracts us from the reality of our desire for His Real Presence to consume us, to subsume us into His Real Presence.  Those who are distracted and taken over by evil more and more, lose yet more opportunity to encounter His bliss.  But it is not impossible.  With God, of course, all things are possible.

However, this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit has considered that perhaps His Real Presence does not intend to let it know why this ecstasy continues to occur during Mass and only during Mass.  And there is no mistaking it for anything else.  All other has been tested, even to painful injury, even by psychological review, and perhaps the least in some aspects, by a Catholic bishop determining it is of God.

Yet this hermit has asked once more, of His Real Presence, "Why?  What is the point?"  For, it has already been told what is the point for its own self.  He has said early on, This is how I am loving you!
By now, though, it would seem it should not keep occurring, for the hermit has accepted His love and appreciates His love.  And, granted, the ecstasy is beyond comparison to any other mystical experience this side of death and heaven.  

No priest nor bishop questioning the hermit has been able to relate.  One asked, "Does your heart kind of flutter"?  It is far beyond the heart fluttering, so there was no sense in trying to describe what is rather indescribable, much as one can try.  Dr. H. perhaps grasps the closest to anyone, since he is adept and experienced in various forms of the paranormal; he has studied and interviewed and worked with those who have a variety of experiences--not all spiritual, of course.  And there is a difference between spiritual and mystical experiences and psychic experiences.

Regardless, while this hermit ponders that surely there must be something other, something more that His Real Presence desires from this mystical ecstasy during Mass, it may simply be a reminder to all of us of the power of the Mass, and of all seven sacraments as well as the power of His Living Word, in every Mass, from beginning to end, including processional music.  

Plus, about four years ago the hermit was given the insight that His Real Presence notices the lack of devotion and elevation of love for all the Sacraments and His Word--and to raise our devotion and love for all of Him to the level of our love and devotion of His Body and Blood.  This is not to say that we devalue His Body and Blood; but it is true that often we do not devote ourselves or avail ourselves of the other sacraments, and we can tend to not pay attention to His LIVING WORD!

Perhaps there is something more to this gift that the hermit must continue to share with others, such as Dr. H. had suggested awhile ago.  Perhaps there are some healing qualities for others in the Mass, for the amount of power and love of God that flows in such a force during a mystical ecstasy, is, again, beyond description.

Today this hermit could not attend Mass.  It has been trying to paint the exterior of the house, and being up on ladders, tediously painting tiny spaces between siding shingles, brushing carefully the trim paint in tidy lines, and then doing it all a second coat, did cause an increase in pain.  Two days this past week, the hermit could not rise from the mattress on the floor; this morning was one of them.

So the hermit prayed, read the Living Word for this Sunday's Mass readings, left a message on the family's phone with whom it would sit, and began reading the Letter to the Hebrews as a spiritual prayer gift for a friend who turned 88 today.  Each day for 13 days, the hermit will pray/read a chapter from Hebrews and email a specific prayer intention relative to the person's life, relationship with family, friends, and His Real Presence.  Then, later in the day, will email a reflection based on the chapter of Christ's Word, as it relates to the person and the prayer intention.  Fun!

The hermit just finished a birthday spiritual gift for its cousin--pray/reading 1 and 2 Thessalonians in like format, with daily intentions.  The cousin is Protestant and wary of things Catholic; the hermit made sure she knew this was not some Catholic devotion.  In the past, the cousin has asked about such things, for there is a friend where she lives who is Catholic.  Again, the cousin is wary of all things Catholic.  We must be considerate and sensitive.  Bias is often inbred environmentally from an early age; it is as if the person cannot help it.

For some people, such as those turning 90 or some milestone birthday, the hermit has offered daily Psalms--each from a decade of the person's life and each with a specific prayer intention covering each of the person's lived decade of life.  It is good to ponder what types of situations the person may have or actually did live in that decade, such as a Psalm in the 20's for that decade in years, or one in the 90's for that decade.  The Holy Spirit never fails to have a connection!  The Psalm spiritual gift is especially good for those not Catholic or if Catholic perhaps not as into reading the Bible.  Most all Christians are familiar with some Psalms, and they are shorter in some cases, than a Bible chapter.

Anyway, the above is an aside from the topic of mystical ecstasies.  This consecrated Catholic hermit has had to research in often times old books, but written by experts in the field or by renowned spiritual directors or scholars, of other centuries.  Plus reading the experiences of other mystics, now deceased but verified as not hysterics, has been helpful.  The truth is, there is much ignorance about dealing with such matter or recognizing the symptoms of such an experience.  And, it really does not much good seeking opinions from nor reading what those who have never experienced nor have intimately known anyone who has experienced an actual mystical ecstasy.  These folks are dealing with guesswork when it comes to expounding, not that it matters other than if you are one who begins to experience a mystical ecstasy.

A couple of the many books this hermit has found most helpful has been one titled Mystical Phenomena Compared with their Human and Diabolical Counterfeits: A Treatise on Mystical Theology....by Most Rev. Albert Farges, trans. from French in 1926.  [The Catholic hermit recommends the complete version, not the shortened excerpted Chapter X now in paperback.]  Another solid but shorter, excellent coverage of the topic is by the late mystical scholar of Cambridge University's David Knowles: What Is Mysticism?  

On another aside, this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit has considered that the children of the family it sat with last Sunday, are pre-teen and teen in age.  This is an age of extreme self-consciousness and desire to distance from anything different or embarrassing.  So although the hermit has not had occasion to speak with its director again, and considering the hermit most likely has more pain in morning than later in day, it might be best to not sit with the family in sensitivity to the children; and to attend the Saturday evening Mass.  

Perhaps the retired fireman and his wife would sit with the hermit, or better, just the simple sign.  Dr. H. has not returned the call yet, seeking his advice on potential other aspect of purpose in the ecstasy, but it sometimes takes him a couple or more weeks. He is in demand and very busy with his practice.  Dr. H. tends also to be very practical, so his insights always lend themselves to what the spiritual father has to say--who humbly and wisely always honestly says he really does not know.  Yes, he has been the only cleric who has had the wisdom to say he has never known of anything like this, but he has read of it, and most important, he knows this hermit's soul over a long period of time.

If any of this helps others, great.  While there may not be those who have experienced mystical ecstasy, it is quite different than contemplation or contemplative prayer.  Mystical ecstasy is a definite and powerful loss of all physical senses and faculties.  A person in ecstasy could be injured and not feel it during the ecstasy, or someone could try to lift the person or make the limbs move, to no avail.  The pulse is barely discernible, the breathing nearly non-existent in a physical way.

Yes, it is as close to the hermit's documented death experience between back surgeries 28 years ago this summer, as anything the hermit could describe.  But it still is not like the death experience--just close to it.  The death experience is total bliss with no intrusions...unless as in the hermit's case, one is sent back into the body to live out its time on this temporal earth and fulfill its mission.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  God so loves us, little children, and asks us to love one another!

Catholic Hermit Ponders Part of a Psalm

"Keep me, O God, for in you I take refuge;
I say to the LORD, 'My Lord are you.'
O LORD, my allotted portion and my cup,
you it is who hold fast my lot."
(Psalm 16:1-2)

It is with these Living Words that this hermit--Catholic, Consecrated and nothing to God's All--will live the present and forthcoming present moments.

First, to attempt a sink-bath, and thankful for a sink and running water if no other plumbing conveniences.  And then, to dress, and to hopefully, if God wills and allows, to walk outdoors and to the back orchard/garden area (dubbed the Leg O'Lamb...name story too long and unnecessary but trust that it is meaningful with humorous touch), and to water the sprouting seeds and the seed-starts already planted.

Last evening the hermit grew increasingly weary of the temporally good but yet temporal, distractions of music and British mystery videos, as well as some comedy.  It is true that humor can help increase the brain's natural body painkillers: endorphins.  But what about any research regarding the effect of His Real Presence's presence and His effect on the production of endorphins?

Somehow, nothing quite heals and uplifts like the spiritual--the closeness in His Real Presence, of His Living Word, of His Spiritual Communion, of His Prayer Communication.

That's simply the truth of it, and while the other aspects serve some helpful purposes, they do not satisfy nor hold steady for the long haul.

The upper back pain is yet exhausting and debilitating.  The hermit has set forth its hopes and desires before His Real Presence this morning and asks if any or all of the desired movements and activities meet with His approval and will.   Then, there is only one way to find out, and that is for the hermit to attempt them in the order laid out--a prudent and temporal order.

The hermit used to memorize Psalms, and Psalm 16 was one chosen to commit to memory.  Severe and chronic pain both gently wipe clear the memory for ease of recall.  While the words are yet very familiar and no doubt could be memorized once again, the hermit realizes it is not necessary.  More appropriate and helpfully needful, is the essence of the Word.

There is so much of His Real Presence's essence in these Words!  The memory of the essence is that which the hermit carries, for the hermit is in the Father and Son as the Father and the Son have by the power of the Holy Spirit, abide in the hermit and the hermit in Him.  That suffices:  the reality, the essence, the truth of the Living Word spoken this morning, now, and all moments past and future.

"Keep me, O God, for in you I take refuge;
I say to the LORD, 'My Lord are you.'
O LORD, my allotted portion and my cup,
you it is who hold fast my lot."
(Psalm 16:1-2)

Catholic Hermits: Obedience Professed, Obedience Learned from Suffering

Each and every Christian is called to obedience.  While those in the Catholic Church who are called by God, and accept His call, to the Consecrated Life of the Church, everyone who is a Christian is called to follow Jesus Christ.  The following Scripture from Hebrews--the second reading of this Fifth Sunday of Lent--helps us grasp the means and ways of obedience and to whom we ought obey.

From Hebrews 5:7-9:

"In the days when Christ Jesus was in the flesh,
He offered prayers and supplications 
with loud cries and tears to the 
One Who was able to save Him from death, 
and He was heard because of His reverence.
Son though He was, 
He learned obedience from what He suffered; 
and when He was made perfect, 
He became the source of eternal salvation 
for all who obey Him."

From what death do we beseech God in cries and tears?  Is it physical, bodily death?  Was that the death from which His Son prayed to be saved?  Or was it from eternal death, or the death of His Divine Soul?  Was it from the death that the world offers?  And He was heard by the Father--the One Who could save Him--because of His reverence.  This seems key: Reverence.

What is "reverence"?  The word "revere" appeared in the 14th century.  It means to feel or show a profound awe, respect and even love; to honor, such as the divine.  The Latin is re + vereri:  to fear, to respect.

How did Jesus learn obedience?  He learned obedience through suffering.  And it followed that when he was made perfect, he was made the source of salvation to all who obeyed Him, as well. Does this mean that we, also, learn obedience through suffering, and that it follows that through obedience from suffering, comes perfection in Christ when we follow Him and obey Him?  

This is much to grasp, and it is beyond description by words, just as we cannot adequately describe His Real Presence other than to know the effect and the affect, through knowing Jesus--no matter how many descriptors used in the Old and New Testaments, no matter the theology, poetry, artistry, and mystery of dreams, visions, and locutions.

In considering the profession of the evangelical counsels [chastity, poverty, obedience)] by which a Catholic hermit enters the state of Consecrated Life in the Church (although not always publicly professed), the canons, or laws, of the Catholic Church, state the following regarding obedience:

Canon 601. Obedience

Obedience, following Christ, obedient even unto death, obliges submission of one's will to lawful Superiors, acting in the place of God when they command according to the constitutions.  

There may be a list of what can be required. E.g.ministries that can be required.  There isn't a formula, but it should be clear and written for clarity.

The obedience stated in canon law is to that of following Christ.  One must be obedient even if faced with death.  Next, this obedience in following Christ, per canon law, then legally or morally binds [oblige] the will of the one consecrated, to lawful Superiors who act in God's place when they command according to the constitutions of the Church.

CL601 begs prayerful consideration.  There are specific conditions imbedded within it, requiring wise discretion in order for the obedience to be binding to a Superior in the church.  It requires further defining by law, who and what is a Superior, and it requires discerning if that Superior is acting in God's place--if their commands are according to the constitutions.  This latter also begs a prayerful, careful reading and knowledge of the Constitutions of the Catholic Church.

But the primary obedience in this canon is given to Christ, to following Christ, obedient even unto death.  The profundity of following Christ can take a Christian lifetime to prayerfully grasp and practice.  From Scripture--the Living Word of God--we learn that when Christ was in the flesh, He learned obedience through suffering.

Following Christ may be learned and effected by living the Gospels.  The Gospels remain the perfect Rule of Life for hermits--indeed, for any Christians regardless of state of life in the Church--hierarchy and laity, consecrated or not.

Learning obedience through suffering includes all forms of suffering: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual.  Following Christ, being obedient unto death, can include bodily death from this earthly life as well as death to the temporal "world" in some aspect of body, mind, emotions, and spirit. This type of death is often termed "spiritual detachment" or "holy indifference."  The worlds "spiritual" and "holy" are key in being linked with "detachment" and "indifference."

It would seem, then, that the Living Word of God in Scriptures, is the ultimate and never-failing law of God in fulfilling a professed vow of obedience.  The church law adds to God's Word but does require discernment of the several conditions that do need to be met in order for one's will to be obliged in submission to a Superior--who must be lawful, acting in God's place, and whose commands are in accordance with the Institutes of the Church.

Even so, if each condition of a lawful Superior seem met, no one but God really knows or can judge if the one submitting his or her will to the lawful Superior and/or the Superior himself, are meeting the conditions, or to what degree or ideal.  Mortals--even the seemingly holiest of hermits (or anyone) and the wisest and most reverent of those in Holy Orders--are not foolproof in knowing and judging our souls and conditions.  Only the One Who saves us from death can do so: God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit.

The individual soul may have some idea, depending upon his or her truthfulness and degree of spiritual progression, in knowing self and knowing God.  The individual soul's Superior by church law may have some idea--even a very good idea--depending upon various observed and inspired aspects.  But no one, mortal, lawful superior nor the most approved, seemingly holiest of individual souls can know for sure.

The seemingly simple freedom of the Christian call in Scripture--the Living Word of God--to following Jesus Christ, requires discernment and wise discretion as well.  The conditions of a soul in following Christ--obedient even unto death--are deep and wide.  No one but the One Who saves us from death knows or can judge if the Gospel tenets are being met, to what degree or ideal.  

It comes down to the reality of striving, to the best of our human abilities, acts of our free will, and by whatever undeserved but mercifully given divine graces of God, that we are able to follow Christ.  As to whatever degree of obedience, learning it through suffering, and to whatever progression being in Christ toward our soul's perfection, we will not have consistent, complete perfection during our earthly, mortal pilgrimages.  

Obedience learned from what is suffered...and when He was made perfect...He became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey Him. 

God bless His Real Presence in us, and our presence in Him. Let us love dearly one another as we love Christ and He loves us--little children--for we are in this life together.  Remain in His Love!

Two Scriptures, the Living Word, Today's Mass: Epiphany!

Two Scriptures leapt into the mind and heart today.  Upon waking, read the daily Mass Scriptures.  St. Paul in Ephesians and St. John in the Gospel.

St. Paul gives the lovely exhortation that Bl. Elizabeth of the Trinity took as her motto, as her battle cry through the end of her young life.  Excerpt from Ephesians 1:  "...set our hope in Christ that we might live for the praise of His glory."

What St. John wrote in the Gospel of John 1 is pertinent to the on-going acceptance of this nothing's path and calling.  "...and His own did not accept Him."

We must keep a sense of humor mixed in with the anguish of the world and all of us trying to exist in varying degrees of awareness of ourselves, and of our purpose for existence.  And yet for those of us who desire something other, and are aware of His Real Presence, we must keep our sights on Christ, on His life and also on His death, hanging on the cross, and then His resurrection.  

Oddly enough, the verse of the rock singer Ricky Nelson floated into the mind yesterday.  "Garden Party":  You can't please everybody so you've got to please yourself.  The truth of matters is that we won't be able to please other people, nor they us, not deep down in, nor all the time, for we are inadequate of ourselves and increasingly pathetic when given over to the world.  The reality and truth is, in order to endure with our fellow man, and more intimately, with our family and friends:  We've got to please God.

Yes, we've got to please God. 

And that takes prayer and praising and striving and loving and depending upon, upon His graces that we might be lights, be epiphanies of the praise of His glory.  Like the wise men and women who sought and seek and found and find His Real Presence (Father God of all, Jesus Christ His Son, and the Holy Spirit, the Comforter and Paraclete), we, too, must be wise in who and what we seek and find, that we might live for the praise of His glory.

Yes, we try to meet people where they are and show interest in their interests.  But as His Real Presence makes His Abode in us, and us in Him, we do become refractors of His Light.  No amount of masking can or should blot that Light.

Darkness is not going to ever like Light.  We must remain in His Love and let Him deal with the darkness.  We must set our hope on Jesus Christ-Light, that we might live for the praise of His glory. Our own may not accept us, not even our own in Catholic parishes or Protestant congregations, not among family members at any particular given time.  But some day, yes, we will be accepted into His glory, and our light which is His Light from the Abode He has made in us, will shine like the stars of the universe, and will help others to find the Christ born in the darkness, destined to be a great Light.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another for the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit has made His Abode in us, and we are in Him.  Remain in His Love!  Praise Him!  Please Him!

Hermit Weary: Bring God Praise!

It has been a few days since writing, although the soul never ceases to exist and to grow.  That is a marvel to ponder!  No matter what occurs with our bodies on this earth, our souls will never die, never forget; they will never be forgotten or abandoned by His Real Presence.

I've been working very hard on Te Deum House projects.  A daughter and her husband dedicated a very long Saturday to installing some wood flooring and then placing and hanging the first three cabinets.  Each person brought some experience to the project, and together we succeeded in a good start.

I'm worn out.  The pain level has escalated and along with it the tendency to struggle with managing it.  I lost meekness with upset over a wall that the electrician talked me into constructing.  As a result there is a half-inch of too little space for cabinets to fit between that wall and the end wall. 

 

I became angry with myself for being so weak and not sticking with my first instinct.  Don't build the wall because in an old house, no matter how carefully one measures, no one stud or wall is plumb, no piece of drywall will screw in exactly flush.  Each fraction of an inch adds up.  I shared my upset with the electrician in a phone call.

 

He did not deal with it well. To me, it seemed a good thing to express, for he has the habit of getting involved in and second-guessing what I am working on rather than sticking with electrical wiring, although he meant well, I'm sure.  I am at fault for letting myself be distracted and then complaining.

 

 

However, in the end, I decided to not tear down the wall.  The wall has its good points, and I will instead need to get help "ripping" 1/4-inch off two spacer boards, finding a paint match to the cabinet finish, and hoping it looks all right.  If not, a new spacer will need to be ordered and purchased.  Seems there is always some glitch no matter the effort here.

 

That is why, somehow, His Living Word speaks to me today.  I am wearied.  I am wearied from all the heavy and hard work for a body that is weak and worn out with constant pain in addition to being old!  

 

Even with the dilemma over the wall being now in the way of just placing cabinets without end-space restraint, I did realize it was just temporal stuff.  

 

One way or another, the problem will be solved. 

I'd spent hours and hours and expense in that wall:  Construction, wiring, drywall, mud, sanding, priming, painting.  I can relate with how the Israelites felt after the years in captivity and then yet more trials and years in the desert.  

 
The temporal aspects weighed heavy, and they forgot all that God had done for them and the value of being redeemed from slavery.  He had given them great and holy leaders to guide them from Egypt to the Promised Land:  Moses, Aaron, and Miriam.


The Prophet Micah declared to the people:

"Hear what the Lord says:
   Rise, plead your case before the mountains,
   and let the hills hear your voice.
‘O my people, what have I done to you?
   In what have I wearied you? Answer me!
For I brought you up from the land of Egypt,
   and redeemed you from the house of slavery;
and I sent before you Moses,
   Aaron, and Miriam....'

Micah addresses his people with various thoughts on what more could be sacrificed to atone for all the sinfulness of the people and also asks:

"'Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?’" Micah 8

The Psalmist in Psalm 50 sings:

"‘Mark this, then, you who forget God,
   or I will tear you apart, and there will be no one to deliver.
Those who bring thanksgiving as their sacrifice honor me;
   to those who go the right way
   I will show the salvation of God.’" Psalm 50

It is all too easy to get off track when weary and becoming too caught up in the temporal obstacles.  We forget that the process is as much or more value in progression as the temporal conclusion.  

In fact, at this stage of my life, the end result, such as having a kitchen in which to prepare food and store "stuff", means not all that much to me.  Maybe having this house salable so I can move on either in life or death, is the main appeal.  I have no idea where on earth I'd go. No "place" on earth is a promised land other than within His Real Presence, and He is in us and us in Him.

Perhaps the Israelites were facing realities, as I am.  After awhile, the temporal is seen always as passing away--not just sometimes.  But when I lose track of the purpose, to glorify God, and I forget the salvation He has won for me, and the ultimate freedom of my soul to exist forever in His Real Presence--then I am down for the count.

Yesterday, the Sabbath, I literally was forced to take rest.  Losing meekness over the detail of that wall--while in some ways a huge detail--was nothing worth losing meekness.  The temporal problem will have a temporal solution, one way or another.

Today, however, His Real Presence in the Sacrament of His Living Word, reminds me as to why I am weary, and it has nothing to do with what God has done to me!  He has done nothing but goodness and love to me, even if my life has been rather challenging and filled with some hard lumps and bumps.

This morning passed with my praising away the discouragement of a pained body and weary mind.  Memories of better times, way in the past, or memories of very hurtful situations--each tugged at my mind and heart as I weeded and watered.  Praising God silently met each memory as they individually popped into consciousness.  It became quite the interchange:  overcoming unpleasant yet realistic memories by praising God.  

I can bring my thanksgiving to honor His Real Presence.  He Is with me always, right here, inside and all around me, in the abode He has made in my soul, and my soul thus in His abode.  I must go the right way--and that means the way of love, always:  love of God and love of others, loving God in Himself and thus in all His creation.  

God created all, and that includes a pained body.  Pain itself is not sin, even if sin can cause pain.  And pain in other levels and dimensions is sheer joy.  He has told me that in supernal ways.

His Real Presence will show the salvation of Himself to our souls if we go the right way, that of God-Is-Love.  

(And if all this just seems like idea words, it could appear that way.  The truth is, the challenge is, to know and understand that the words are very real and active, not just idle sentiments.  We have to put life and faith into His Living Word to make it sacred in the very eternal life of our souls.  Read, hear, believe, live His Real Presence, the Word.)

Sharing Experiences, Part Two: God Is So Real

 "‘So have no fear of them; for nothing is covered up that will not be uncovered, and nothing secret that will not become known. What I say to you in the dark, tell in the light; and what you hear whispered, proclaim from the housetops. Do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul; rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground unperceived by your Father. And even the hairs of your head are all counted. So do not be afraid; you are of more value than many sparrows.'

"‘Everyone therefore who acknowledges me before others, I also will acknowledge before my Father in heaven; but whoever denies me before others, I also will deny before my Father in heaven.'" 
  from Matthew 10

---

There are other visions and locutions and dreams.  Many were prior to my becoming a Catholic.  There did not seem to be the added fear of oppressive scrutiny then.  In one case, I had just moved back to my hometown, and I had a waking vision of an assassination attempt that was going to happen on a US president.  This is quite a lengthy story with marvelous details; but the end result: the attempt was thwarted.  

I acted on it; I first called Dr. H. to discuss what I'd been shown, and explained my reluctance due to kind of hoping that the visions and such would leave if I got back to my roots.  (They do carry responsibility and courage beyond ourselves.)  He insisted I had to contact the Secret Service, and so I did.  All unfolded in amazing ways, but that is for some other sharing, if even God wants, if somehow helpful or glorifies Him.  Everything we think, say and do must glorify God even if some people may think it does not.

Yet, when I read the above Scripture, I think of all these experiences that are helpful to others in some ways--not just the persons involved, but in helping others realize to not busy themselves to the point of not being utilized by God to help others.  Also, sharing spiritual experiences (at least anonymously) can help others with grasping anew, that God is so real.

But I admit that even as a Protestant, I was selective as to the sharing, for there was way too much self then, and fear of how others would react or think of me.  Dr. H. taught me to live a double life of sorts, but that did not work out for long. When God brings experiences to a perceived mode, hiding is not an option.  One also has to decide if it is better to seem as a fool and risk being wrong, or to share what is shown and be potentially helpful regardless the flack later.

For there will always be those who create flack.  But we are told by Jesus to not fear.  Our souls will not be harmed even if our "bodies" are.  And by bodies, we can in our time assume our temporal reputations, for whatever they are worth, which is not much in the big world.  We have to consider our souls' worth in the spiritual realm, and our reputation in His Real Presence.

One time I was shown danger and a horrible calamity and accident ahead.  It involved my eldest daughter's wedding, of which they were driving in winter to a location to marry, and many family members would be driving, as well.  I could not go, as my pain issues prevented at the time.  But I was shown extreme danger to a point that there was no appeasement within.  It was awkward speaking up under the circumstances, for if wrong--oh my, what a fool I'd be and not be taken seriously again or not for a long time.

But I decided better to be wrong than the risk of such foreboding.  I enlisted many people to pray, for they decided to go on their way.  But one daughter (not a Catholic) took a blessed scapular, and my ex-husband asked my son if this was legitimate.  My son said to take it seriously.  Off they traveled with inclement weather, a kind of "perfect storm" element very strong within.  I had even questioned if this was something more symbolic or was it a temporal event to occur?  No answer other than the strong impulse to pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy during the time of the wedding.  Some friends prayed it with me, during that time frame, and others prayed in their faith traditions.

Everyone returned safe and sound.  I can't describe my relief!  My other daughter (not the bride) told me of what could have been horrific on the way back.  The car in which she was riding was caught on black ice, went into the other lane on a mountain curve.  She got out while the driver and other passengers remained in the car, spinning the wheels.  But he pulled it out of the spin, she got in quickly, and a second later a car from the opposing direction came around the curve.

I may never know it that was the foreboding, or if all or one of the prayers averted that or some other calamity.  A few years later when I was shown something regarding my son who was at college, he reacted in anger.  "I should have never told you about that!" he charged.  He thought he had accidentally told me something he and some friends had done.  I said, "No, you never told me.  The Lord showed me in a dream what you were doing, and you had better not do something that risky again." 

He lashed out again.  "You and your dreams and all that stuff!  Well, one time you were wrong!  Nothing happened at the wedding like you thought."  I responded that he was thankfully correct, but that he did not know of all the prayers of others blanketing all those few days.  I also said perhaps I was totally deceived that time, and maybe we will never know.  Either way, the warning signs I received made it worth risking my ridiculous, temporal "reputation."  Better to be ridiculed by family than to dismiss what seemed of God.

I can take this stance with more assurance as being one who has dealt with these situations enough to recognize and sense.  In fact, too often I try to talk myself out of listening and paying attention when God touches, tells, or shows.  I've been battered in life when I ignore His communications.  Yet, it is the easy way out to tune out to God in such situations because we are dealing with the spiritual, the mystical realm.

Somehow the above Word of God has touched me today, and I was reminded of some of these experiences and several more.  I am reminded of many that I did not heed nor act upon, also, or that I downplayed or misinterpreted due to nothing more nor less than fear of being wrong or fear of others thinking oddly or negatively about me.

And all this discussion does not begin to touch upon the many times we could so easily hide our Christianity by not praying, not thinking of Jesus, not sharing how God is so real, not listening nor speaking nor living out a life in which His Real Presence is PRESENT day and night, in everything we do, in thought, word, action--on both the interior and exterior!  Our very souls can show His Real Presence as He has his abode in our souls!  Our eyes and voices are also His Sight and Voice.

All I know is if we give ourselves over to be used by His Real Presence in whatever ways He wills, expect to hear from Him in all manner and types of communication and situations which will require some response on your part, some action as to your own life and also the lives of others.

Don't fear making mistakes.  He continues to teach us. Don't we learn lessons well when we make some painful errors and see how to improve? He tells us by His Living Word that He has sent and given us the Advocate Who will teach us all manner of things.

God is so real!  God bless His Real Presence in us!

He Surprises and Reveals in His Living Word

God repeatedly lifts up in unexpected ways, when I least expect and when He knows the need.  Most Psalms are not this lengthy, but it is a holy and perfect message especially after confirmation that my senses have been correct.  There are those out there who seem obsessive and intent in discrediting my soul's unfolding and spiritual essence, and in my delight in His Real Presence.

While weeding and watering yesterday, the thought came to mind to expand my sharing with those who might be put off by the descriptor,"Catholic" hermit.  It was suggested that I duplicate posts as labeled "Christian" hermit, and in that remove some words that are alien to non-Catholics.  

 

So I have cast the net, and it will at minimum be interesting to discover which, over time, is more helpful to others, if either at all.  Regardless, it is expanding my own view and is a reminder to be a follower of Christ, a Christian, first and foremost, above all other distinguishing or differentiating labels.

While mowing I thought of calling a "couple-friend" with whom I don't often speak--she edits long hours, and he suffers from illness.  But the wife of the couple-friend called me, first, before I finished the thought of calling her!  She had been thinking of me, she said.  Well, I had just then been thinking of her, too.  The Holy Spirit arranged it as He willed.  

My friend was aware of some detraction against me and discussed possibilities as to why others would discredit and try to take on discussing that which they have no personal experience or God-given authority.  Why do I continue to be such a threat this person, she wondered?  Why is the person not secure in own status?  We proposed some reasons, and we tried to give benefit of the doubt.  We are praying for those who persecute for they know not what they are doing and most likely think they are somehow justified to some good end.  

It is humorous irony when people judge others, for most often the very things they assume are exactly their own issues, such as deception.  Yes, remain lighthearted, and trust in God.  Let His Word be a lamp unto our feet.

Regardless, my friend was adamant that I keep writing, keep sharing, and if others cannot do better with their thoughts and efforts than to react and make assumptions on another person's spiritual journey, then that is their fruit to bear and to display before Jesus and less vitally, to others.  Who risks in God's judgment?  What about those who implied, inferred or outright disparaged Jesus with various, negative insinuations?  Where are their souls now?  

We don't know, but we know they were not charitable nor accurate.  At the time they thought they were correct but could not see beyond their own assessments.  And, I am reminded that Jesus told me that I would be criticized but to pay no attention.  The Lord knows with us, that it is not easy when we are made aware of detraction.  But I won't have to know further specifics, going forward, thankfully.  We can avoid such.  I must think on that which is above.  That, too, is not easy for any of us because we are so very human, but we are called to holy truth and Christ's ideal.

This morning Psalm 119 was most appropriate, and I emboldened the lines emphasized within my heart as I read them silently.  We can see that the Psalmist knew well:  persecution.  He also knew the antidote: God's rules of life for everyone--not just hermits.  

I am sure this Psalm speaks to many Christians because persecution can come from a spouse who resents the other spouse's desire and delight in Jesus, or from other family members, or from employers or employees, or governments, or systems, or anyone individual or group who may think they are saving some aspect of their ideal or status, when in reality they are overstepping charitable bounds and taking upon themselves God's mantle as Judge and Savior of souls. 

We are to keep our nose to the humus and to the narrow path as best we can try, and continue on in love, truth, and freedom to seek after and follow our Lord Jesus Christ. 

We are to remain in His Loving Real Presence:  Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  We are to fear not proclaiming His wondrous presence in our lives and the lives of others.  

God bless His Real Presence in all of us imperfect creatures who have nonetheless given our fealty to Him! 

Ps 119:2-131

Happy are those who keep his decrees,
   who seek him with their whole heart,
who also do no wrong,
   but walk in his ways.
You have commanded your precepts
   to be kept diligently.
O that my ways may be steadfast
   in keeping your statutes!
Then I shall not be put to shame,
   having my eyes fixed on all your commandments.
I will praise you with an upright heart,
   when I learn your righteous ordinances.
How can young people keep their way pure?
   By guarding it according to your word.
With my whole heart I seek you;
   do not let me stray from your commandments.
I treasure your word in my heart,
   so that I may not sin against you.
Blessed are you, O Lord;
   teach me your statutes.
With my lips I declare
   all the ordinances of your mouth.
I delight in the way of your decrees
   as much as in all riches.
I will meditate on your precepts,
   and fix my eyes on your ways.
Deal bountifully with your servant,
   so that I may live and observe your word.
Open my eyes, so that I may behold
   wondrous things out of your law.
I live as an alien in the land;
   do not hide your commandments from me.
My soul is consumed with longing
   for your ordinances at all times.
You rebuke the insolent, accursed ones,
   who wander from your commandments;
take away from me their scorn and contempt,
   for I have kept your decrees.
Even though princes sit plotting against me,
   your servant will meditate on your statutes.
My soul clings to the dust;
   revive me according to your word.
When I told of my ways, you answered me;
   teach me your statutes.
Make me understand the way of your precepts,
   and I will meditate on your wondrous works.
My soul melts away for sorrow;
   strengthen me according to your word.
Put false ways far from me;
   and graciously teach me your law.
I have chosen the way of faithfulness;
   I set your ordinances before me.
I cling to your decrees, O Lord;
   let me not be put to shame.
Teach me, O Lord, the way of your statutes,
   and I will observe it to the end.
Give me understanding, that I may keep your law
   and observe it with my whole heart.
Lead me in the path of your commandments,
   for I delight in it.
Turn my heart to your decrees,
   and not to selfish gain.
Turn my eyes from looking at vanities;
   give me life in your ways.
Confirm to your servant your promise,
   which is for those who fear you.
Turn away the disgrace that I dread,
   for your ordinances are good.
Let your steadfast love come to me, O Lord,
   your salvation according to your promise.
Then I shall have an answer for those who taunt me,
   for I trust in your word.
Do not take the word of truth utterly out of my mouth,
   for my hope is in your ordinances.
I will keep your law continually,
   for ever and ever.
I shall walk at liberty,
   for I have sought your precepts.
I will also speak of your decrees before kings,
   and shall not be put to shame;
I find my delight in your commandments,
   because I love them.
Remember your word to your servant,
   in which you have made me hope.
This is my comfort in my distress,
   that your promise gives me life.
The arrogant utterly deride me,
   but I do not turn away from your law.
When I think of your ordinances from of old,
   I take comfort, O Lord.
Hot indignation seizes me because of the wicked,
   those who forsake your law.
Your statutes have been my songs
   wherever I make my home.
I remember your name in the night, O Lord,
   and keep your law.
The Lord is my portion;
   I promise to keep your words.
I implore your favour with all my heart;
   be gracious to me according to your promise.
When I think of your ways,
   I turn my feet to your decrees;
I hurry and do not delay
   to keep your commandments.
Though the cords of the wicked ensnare me,
   I do not forget your law.
At midnight I rise to praise you,
   because of your righteous ordinances.
I am a companion of all who fear you,
   of those who keep your precepts.
You have dealt well with your servant,
   O Lord, according to your word.
Teach me good judgement and knowledge,
   for I believe in your commandments.
Before I was humbled I went astray,
   but now I keep your word.
You are good and do good;
   teach me your statutes.
The arrogant smear me with lies,
   but with my whole heart I keep your precepts.
Their hearts are fat and gross,
   but I delight in your law.
It is good for me that I was humbled,
   so that I might learn your statutes.
Your hands have made and fashioned me;
   give me understanding that I may learn your commandments.
Those who fear you shall see me and rejoice,
   because I have hoped in your word.
I know, O Lord, that your judgements are right,
   and that in faithfulness you have humbled me.
Let your steadfast love become my comfort
   according to your promise to your servant.
Let your mercy come to me, that I may live;
   for your law is my delight.
Let the arrogant be put to shame,
   because they have subverted me with guile;
   as for me, I will meditate on your precepts.
Let those who fear you turn to me,
   so that they may know your decrees.
My soul languishes for your salvation;
   I hope in your word.
My eyes fail with watching for your promise;
   I ask, ‘When will you comfort me?’
For I have become like a wineskin in the smoke,
   yet I have not forgotten your statutes.
How long must your servant endure?
   When will you judge those who persecute me?
The arrogant have dug pitfalls for me;
   they flout your law.
All your commandments are enduring;
   I am persecuted without cause; help me!
They have almost made an end of me on earth;
   but I have not forsaken your precepts.
The Lord exists for ever;
   your word is firmly fixed in heaven.
Your faithfulness endures to all generations;
   you have established the earth, and it stands fast.
By your appointment they stand today,
   for all things are your servants.
If your law had not been my delight,
   I would have perished in my misery.
I will never forget your precepts,
   for by them you have given me life.
I am yours; save me,
   for I have sought your precepts.
The wicked lie in wait to destroy me,
   but I consider your decrees.
Oh, how I love your law!
   It is my meditation all day long.
Your commandment makes me wiser than my enemies,
   for it is always with me.
I have more understanding than all my teachers,
   for your decrees are my meditation.
I understand more than the aged,
   for I keep your precepts.
I hold back my feet from every evil way,
   in order to keep your word.
I do not turn away from your ordinances,
   for you have taught me.
How sweet are your words to my taste,
   sweeter than honey to my mouth!
Your word is a lamp to my feet
   and a light to my path.
I have sworn an oath and confirmed it,
   to observe your righteous ordinances.
I am severely afflicted;
   give me life, O Lord, according to your word.
Accept my offerings of praise, O Lord,
   and teach me your ordinances.
I hold my life in my hand continually,
   but I do not forget your law.
The wicked have laid a snare for me,
   but I do not stray from your precepts.
Your decrees are my heritage for ever;
   they are the joy of my heart.
I hate the double-minded,
   but I love your law.
You are my hiding-place and my shield;
   I hope in your word.
Go away from me, you evildoers,
   that I may keep the commandments of my God.
Uphold me according to your promise, that I may live,
   and let me not be put to shame in my hope.
Hold me up, that I may be safe
   and have regard for your statutes continually.
You spurn all who go astray from your statutes;
   for their cunning is in vain.
All the wicked of the earth you count as dross;
   therefore I love your decrees.
I have done what is just and right;
   do not leave me to my oppressors.
Guarantee your servant’s well-being;
   do not let the godless oppress me.
My eyes fail from watching for your salvation,
   and for the fulfillment of your righteous promise.
Deal with your servant according to your steadfast love,
   and teach me your statutes.
I am your servant; give me understanding,
   so that I may know your decrees.
It is time for the Lord to act,
   for your law has been broken.
Truly I love your commandments
   more than gold, more than fine gold.
Your decrees are wonderful;
   therefore my soul keeps them.
The unfolding of your words gives light;
   it imparts understanding to the simple.
With open mouth I pant,
   because I long for your commandments.