Christian, Mystic, Hermit, Catholic: God Provides All Necessary in Today

I think I've worked through even though it's taken me along time and much writing and praying, to simply and deeply accept and say YES, I agree to want and have you more directly now.  And I add on, "Please show me what next and what is helpful in this phase."

I don't want any reader to think I have "left the "church."  The Body of Christ with Christ as Head, the Church, is now not so much a place or thing, nor is it a temporal need now.  When several years ago God showed me in vision the persons and objects and aspects in a type of visual metaphor of the temporal Church,  and asked me, "Why would you want THAT when you can have ME more directly now?", it has taken these years to experience and consider and pray about God's will and what He meant and means.  And despite my continuing to try to force forward thinking I needed the temporal Church still, that I must be misinterpreting, in part, the vision and locution, God in practicum did not allow any of my attempts to continue temporal life in the temporal Church.  Even the other day I thought aloud in conversation with a long time friend and helper, "Should I try again?"  He responded, "How many times would you keep subjecting yourself to what continues to be closed doors and non-acceptance?  And maybe more importantly, why would you keep doing that?"

And true, the latter is the question that led me to understanding that God chose for me and was delighted for me to become Catholic, but He is showing me as in all of life, even into eternity, it is all a process through which we all progress at individual "time" and ways and means of process and progression.  He leads; He guides; He wills all.  God is patience but persists in helping us progress through the process, or series of processions, one flowing into the next, on and on. Probably the major flow-to-the-next is at our temporal deaths, but there are many deaths and rebirths within our temporal lives if we desire Christ increasingly, but have our hindrances tethering.  God then progresses us which requires some breaking of the tethers, even ones that might seem ought be what we ought have throughout this life, in the same way, shape, and form.  

No.  And so I am reviewing the positives and reasons why God and what God provided and the ways in which I still attached possessiveness and my human desire for acceptance and to fit in, and my naive wish for something on earth to live out the ideal as well as to be a constant in this life, and that this would be a constant, a once-and-for-all place or thing or experience.  But the soul is not created to exist like that, to essentially not progress and be brought by God through processes to closer and closer relationship and understanding of and with and through and in God. The more we desire union with God, the more we must be prepared for and accept shifts and changes and learning and growth, and letting go of even what seem to be or we think ought to be sacrosanct temporal aspects, such as the ideals of the temporal Church.

Nothing can be forced--and that includes forcing ourselves to stay in one place or phase, or to move forward beyond what God ordains, such as desiring for Jesus to come back and take us with Him. That desire cannot be forced into a reality unless that reality is based on the reality that Jesus exists in timelessness and will come take us from this life according to His will and means.  It cannot be rushed or dictated by what we want in order to essentially escape the "lessons" we have yet to learn here, now, and often without knowing specifically what are these lessons nor how to learn them--or on our time frame and conditions which generally wants a rush-order job-done. 

This morning I did force a praise of God, first thing.  I had a determination of my will to get up from bed and be dressed and mudding the bathroom walls, doing a second and final skim coat. I wanted to do this starting at 9 a.m. or shortly after.  I have come to accept that my praise of God is often forced, when I remember to praise God, but that a forced praise of God is better than no praise of God at all.  And as often can be the case, a habit can become natural and unforced with practice and conscious recognition and desire.  I did not, of course, do a forced praise of God without having the sincere desire to praise God. My praise of God, forced, does not mean my desire to praise God is any less than a spontaneous and rich and glorious praise of God.

Then I noticed today's Gospel reading is of Jesus' praising of God!  And I noticed a commentary on praising God by Augustine.  (I have come to a point of consciously not referring to these great people, great souls, as "saints" or "St." this or that because I know consciously that titles of sainthood and canonization process and confirmation on certain humans is a mechanism of humans, specifically those humans who were and are in a man-created hierarchy in the temporal Churches:  Catholic, Orthodox, Anglican and other offshoots of Catholicism, and other religions in the world might designate the people they consider to be holy by some other designation.  But at this phase in my progression in the process, it is important for me to let go of the man-developed mores and practices that Jesus did not create or use or find necessary or needful.  Jesus is wanting all souls to be holy and to be saved and to come to the Father, to believe in the Father and Holy Spirit and come through Him, God's Son, One in Three, Second Person of the Trinity--and have fullness of life in the Spirit, and be children of God, and so forth.

Even in praising God, forced, and in praising God after reading the Living Word and deepening the reality that I am in God and He is in me, and in then praising God with deeper love and conscious awareness of God Being All and my being nothing of my own and only relevant in God and His Love and Mercy of and toward me--I could not force my body up to remain up.  The physical lumbar, hip, leg, foot pain and radiating pain causing unctuous nausea,  put me back on the bed for another couple of hours. And yes, I do whatever at my temporal means to help the physical situation:  oral pain med to augment the pain pump release, called for appt. to increase pump release of med, anti nausea meds-- a second type when the first had litle to no effect.  And the acceptance of having to get down and stay down awhile.  

Change my temporal goals, and let go and let God for this morning and however long physically, just as I had o let go and let God when I accepted God more directly, and had to let go of what I loved tremendously, even too much--the temporal Catholic church of parish and diocese, of all that entails, of this and that temporal and human-developed, human-created and evolved over the years.  

This does not mean I let go of my faith, or of His Real Presence in spiritual communion (spiritual Eucharist), or His Living Word, or prayer.  It does not mean that I do not appreciate and find friendship in and much good help from holy persons living and deceased such as Augustine and many others, including little known holy people like the auto mechanic's secretary who is pivotal in a holy and helpful business that helps so many with love, honesty, integrity and excellence in quality of work done.

And I recommend to any and all, if seeking God: the Catholic Church.  In this Church will be the spiritual, mystical Church, Christ's Church.  I just don't recommend loving the externals or such, but love God more and discover His Real Presence in the Mass as in Eucharist, Living Word, and prayer.  Then discover His Real Presence all the time in the "mass as our lives", in spiritual eucharit, Living Word , and prayer.  Discover the mystics and the prophets and writers, the great spiritual directors, the theologians who strive to explain, and the Scriptural scholars, likewise.  But know that the Church is created and intended by God as a means of process and progression, to find and have His Real Presence in Eucharist, Word, and prayer, and to recognize His Real Presence Who Is in us and in others, as we are in His Real Presence always and everywhere He Is.  Learn to love to learn to love, and suffer to love and love to suffer. Love God above all things, and love others and self as God loves us.  

The Catholic church is a means of many processes of progression to God, but the Church is not God Himself.  The Mass is beyond description.  The Mass is the stairway to heaven, and I suppose each soul must figure that out with God's individualized instruction and progressing in the processes.  

I became very attached to the "Church" and so wanted to be accepted and fit in and have it remain steady, not a progression itself, so static as such, but God provided all necessary to proceed and understand that His acceptance and fitting into Him, becoming one with God, is what He ultimately and primarily and primordially desires and wills in His great love and desire for us to remain in His Love, in His ineffable Beingness.

And thus, I share here a cut-and-paste of today's Gospel reading of His Real Presence in Living Word, plus excerpt of Augustine's writing on praising God.  And God Bless His Real Presence in us all!

Holy Gospel of Jesus Christ according to Saint Matthew 11,25-27.

At that time Jesus exclaimed, "I give praise to you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, for although you have hidden these things from the wise and the learned you have revealed them to the childlike.
Yes, Father, such has been your gracious will.
All things have been handed over to me by my Father. No one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and anyone to whom the Son wishes to reveal him."

Saint Augustine (354-430)

Bishop of Hippo (North Africa) and Doctor of the Church

Sermon 34 ; CCL 41, 423-426.

"I praise you, Father"

We are invited to sing a new song to the Lord (Ps 149:1). The new man is the man who knows this new song. Singing is joy and, if we consider the matter more closely, love. Someone who understands about loving this new life knows the new song, and so we need to be informed as to what the new life is for the sake of the new song. All these things belong to the same Kingdom: new man, new song, new covenant. The new man will sing a new song and be a member of the new covenant. (…) “See!” you will say, “I am singing.” You are singing; yes, you are singing, I can hear you. But be careful that your life doesn't bear witness against your tongue. Sing with your voice, sing with your heart, sing with your mouth, sing in your conduct: “Sing to the Lord a new song.” You are wondering what you are to sing for him whom you love and you cast about for the praises to sing to him. “His praise is in the assembly of the saints” (Ps 149:1). The praise to be sung is that of the singer. Do you want to sing praise to God? Be yourself what you sing. You are his praise if you live uprightly.

Catholic Hermit: More on Psalms and Pain Management

I just read these words from the Catechism of the Catholic Church 27-30, which so well express what I was, also, in part trying to express in the previous post on The Psalms and Pain Management.

"The desire for God is written in the human heart, because man is created by God and for God; and God never ceases to draw man to himself.  Only in God will he find the truth and happiness he never stops searching for.... In many ways, throughout history down to the present day, men have given expression to their quest for God in their religious beliefs and behaviour.... But this 'intimate and vital bond of man to God" can be forgotten, overlooked, or even explicitly rejected by man.  Such attitudes can have different causes: revolt against evil in thew world; religious ignorance or indifference; the cares and riches of this world (Mt 13:22); the scandal of bad example on the part of believers; currents of thought hostile to religion; finally, that attitude of sinful man which makes him hide from God out of fear (Gn 3:8f) and flee his [God's] call (Jon 1:3).


"'Let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.' (Ps 105 [104]:3)  Although man can forget God or reject him, He never ceases to call every man to seek him, so as to find life and happiness.  But this search for God demands of man every effort of intellect, a solid will, 'an upright heart' (Ps 97 [96]: 11) as well as the witness of others who teach him to seek God.

"'You are great, O Lord, and greatly to be praised:  great is your power and your wisdom is without measure' (:s 145 [144]: 3; 147[146]:5) and man, so small a part of your creation, wants to praise you; this man, though clothed with mortality and bearing the evidence of sin and the proof that 'you withstand the proud' (Jas 4:6).  Despite everything, man, though but a small a part of your creation wants to praise you.  You yourself encourage him to delight in your praise, for you have made us for yourself, and our heart is restless until it rests in you.' (St. Augustine, Confessions 1,1,1).'" 


God bless His Real Presence in us!  Praise God!  "Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, both now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen."  (Gloria Patri)  

Catholic Hermit: Prayer and Praise

Sorry I've not been able to write much at all.  My one post since the extensive back surgery was mostly just chatty about the temporal aspects.  But there is never anything temporal that is not undergirded by the great spiritual, mystical reality of His Real Presence.  God Is ALL!

Praying and praising is on going aspect whether in pain and recovery mode, medicated and some sedated or fully alert and aware.

I've been able to decrease pain meds dose by 25% and stretch the time between medication doses from every four hours to every five hours.  Last night I decided to not set the phone alarm to awaken me for pain meds, so I slept from 11 p.m. until 6 a.m.  Praise the Lord for that amount of healing and restive sleep!  Yes, there are all kinds of dreams which let me know the body is in a great deal of pain, but it was a gift from His Real Presence to slumber until pain awakened.

So it did take me longer this morning to get the pain under control, but God provides!

All through this time period, I've been having prayer requests that come my way.  It is glorious to be able to pray for others!  The people from the parish who have been bringing meals on M-W-F (two meals each so have for the next day) have given me many life situations for which to pray.  I am practicing what I call "pain praying."  I will try to write more about that when my own headache is not so severe as it is currently.  

(And taking more pain meds often is not the answer to pain.  I may need to take a super strength Excedrin for this headache, but that is to be avoided if possible due to blood clot risks.  The Home Health Care Nurse was here this morning, and we discussed surgery patients, the opioid crisis that with legitimate pain patients has caused some added suffering, but that if there could be more post-op training and help for patients so that they'd realize they will need to accept and adapt to some pain, that would be realistic and helpful.  So many patients think or expect to not have pain.  Perhaps to get them positively set for a surgery, and spine surgeries are typical for the positive pre-op pep talks, doctors might minimize the statistics for when outcomes are not on the bright side.  I tend to prefer reality therapy, and for my own surgery, I know that I am going to have much of the pain I had previously, if not all, or could even have more.  But the spinal cord and major nerves coming from the facet joints of the spine now have space; paralysis is avoided.  I'm grateful and praise God for all His mercies and goodness!)

I'm pain praying for two adult children in their mid-sixties.  Their 93-year-old dad has suffered from dementia for 20 months; his prostate count was high and no doubt off the charts now.  I'm pain praying for the man's nearly-92-year-old wife who is not the adult children's mother.  The situation is this:  the man's first wife developed mental illness at some point in their marriage, and for the last ten years of her life she had to be institutionalized.  

After she passed and some years passed, the man met a lovely woman whose husband had died after a life of being parents to five sons and of one daughter who was born with a disability that kept her in the hospital the five months of her suffering life.  So both the man and woman, widow and widower, met at a parish when in their later 70's, fell in love, and married, joined a parish together, found a home together, and spent these last 15 or so years having the time of their lives after having lived through some hard years prior.  They are very devout and were daily Mass attendees.  That's where I met them 11 years ago.  

Prayers are being answered!  Seems his adult children are more accepting now and letting go.  I had to remind myself that their mother's mental health problems had been for years, and that surely affected their lives and thus perhaps part of the reason they are clinging to their dad when most people in their 60's with a dad who'd suffered for last 20 months, mind gone and body suffering would not struggle so to desire blessed release for their dad.  I always need room to grow in putting myself into other people's situations and to understand and have empathy especially when the behaviors that seem obvious to me or others don't seem to be for persons for whom we pray.  It is too easy to slip into being frustrated or critical--but understanding and empathy and simply pondering factors in other people's lives changes all to loving prayer.

When the adult daughter wanted her brother and the man's wife to force feed the man after he could not longer swallow--water, food, meds--the wife let me know across the miles, and was uncomfortable with that plan, of course.  We all can see how force feeding was not going to bring back his mind or his body, especially not at age 93. But all we could do is pray and trust the Lord to step in and let His will rule the situation.

By the next morning, a doctor put a firm stop to the foolishness and even dangerous determination of the 65-year-old daughter.  No more force feeding.  The man was put o palliative care and moved to the hospice unit of the hospital where professionals in this area of end-of-life care are keeping the man comfortable.  Now the children are also being helped into this next phase of letting go.  Part of my praying--pain praying--was with the thought of how horrible it would be if the man choked on the food he was being fed!  God provides!  We are now considering the joy that will soon be the man's reward, and while his wife will so miss him, she has had to detach over time as he was no longer himself for over a year and a half. 

God's way for each of us is always the best and perfect way.

There have been many other prayer needs that come to mind and arise daily despite how bed-ridden.  A person the other day who brought food told me about their horrible challenge of the past four years.  Her husband had an unexpected heart attach (youngest child in 7th grade), and he needed and received a heart transplant.  They still are not on the other side of this ordeal, but they've been through a bulk of it.   There is much involved in a heart transplant that we do not know unless having one or someone who has, informs us.  

It is not just a matter of the body accepting a stranger's heart, but there are chemical aspects as well as tremendous psychological aspects for the recipient and his or her family.  The patient/recipient is going to go through changes that will remain for the rest of the temporal life.  That is the reality.  Additionally, the finances alter in severe ways, and even if the person is able to return to work, it is obvious that never will the person be able to work to the same capacity as prior. But the patient and family will be led by God to a "new normal".  It all takes time, prayer, effort, and total trust in His Real Presence!

I'm rambling, I'm sure.  So very fatigued today yet I must make myself log roll to side of bed, put on brace, stand up, and use the walker to walk around the downstairs here in Solus Deus Hermitage.  The neighbor children came this morning to put fresh ice in the ice pump, the nurse came and changed the dressing, but there will be no more visitors until the children return tonight to change the ice again.  I'm in doze-mode!

God bless His Real Presence in us!  What would we do without the gift of prayer--the gift God gives us to communicate with the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit!

Catholic Hermit: Hermit Praising God

Seems as if when the trials of this temporal life try to take our bodies, minds, and hearts into prayers of petition, it is far too easy to neglect what is the highest form of prayer, and that is the praise of His Real Presence:  the Most Holy Trinity.

I'm sure as Jesus is praying for us constantly, He is also praising His and Our Father, and the Holy Spirit of eternal love.  Yet today I'm reminded, now that the lumbar pain of body has eased more than in quite awhile, to turn my mind and heart and soul to praise of the Holy Trinity:  His Real Presence.  

I can begin by praising Jesus and thanking Him for praying for me constantly--such as yesterday.  I had the spinal steroid injection, being given a Xanax for sedation prior.  I understand why, but what a nasty medication (yet to those whose anxiety depends upon such medications, it is a gift!).  In my situation, the doctor could not risk even a flinch of movement, or he could easily insert the needle into a nerve or the spinal cord itself.

During the procedure, I can only recall that I was going on about praying pain and how pain is a powerful prayer.  I also got into insights in pain sieges, and shared with the doctor and the assistant in the room, how deeper conversions is a prayer the Lord will always answer, as well as the insights on temporal hopes being but human wishes and desires--positive thought they might be--but that Hope in God is the eternal hope, the true hope, and of which being a theological virtue, the hope always available to us in its perfect outcome, always within us for our utilization.

It is perhaps a bit humorous what comes out of us when partly sedated--what comes out.  But this pain doctor has in past discussed spiritual and scriptural topics.  I had already explained to him prior to the Xanax taking effect, a bit more what is a spinal headache, how awful it was on Sunday when I could not take even an Excedrin to try to ward it off, but that I offered that pain of several hours for the doctor and his family.

I do recall during the spinal injections (one on each side of spine--L-2,3) that the doctor asked me who was the first disciple to follow Jesus.  "Andrew!"  I then went into how in my current locale there is a canal behind, and a heron whom I've named Andrew.  He comes to fish early in the morning.  (In a previous hermitage there was a small subdivision pond, and also a heron I named Andrew.)

Praise God we can be ourselves without excuse!  In yesterday's situation, if it seemed odd to the doctor or especially perhaps his assistant, a PA named Drew (Andrew?), they could chalk it off to the Xanax.  For me, it was a delight, for I delight in speaking of whatever the Lord is teaching, such as the prayer for deeper conversions, the Hope in God, the power of prayer pain and pain prayer, or tidbits of Scripture that we joyfully weave into our daily, temporal lives.

(For example, the second bedroom from end of hall upstairs is dedicated to priests.  The first room is for the angels.  I'm going to put the ironing board in the priests' room so as to consider "ironing out" the problems of errant priests as they are confronted with many temptations in their vocations, and there have been far too many scandals and of course, a shortage of priests in this country.)

Yesterday within an hour of my daughter getting me back into my hermitage and onto the bed (this room is called the Resurrection Room), a headache developed.  Eight hours later and having tried all the Excedrin with half an ale, muscle relaxants, pain meds, anti-nausea med--bit by bit, waiting and seeing if any of them would have effect--I texted the daughter to please return.

I'd called the on-call doctor of the pain clinic; he said not to try any more meds for obviously they were not working to rid out the intractable and horrible headache.  Ended up being taken to the emergency room, and after going through all the symptoms and past history, and what all was tried on my own, I received two injections of two types of sedative medication.  By midnight was back at the hermitage, on the bed, and soon after konked out.  Praise God!  

Today I've been dozing yet up a couple times to go out and water some plants on the patio.  Praise God in Heaven and on earth!  The lumbar is loosened and can bend over without terrible pain.  Praise God if it is from the spinal injections or the sedative injections or a sheer miracle that His Real Presence deigned to grant!  Praise God also that I did receive a call yesterday from the surgeon's staff that my appointment has been moved up two weeks, so I have but 6 days instead of 20 to wait.

I'm praising God for the vast reservoir of HOPE that is within my soul, of which I'm certain my angel yesterday and last night was immersing me.  I do realize that FAITH is the theological virtue more analyzed, of which more is written by theologians--faith and love both.  But Hope in God is powerful to me in ways never before had I even considered.  What a GIFT!  Praise God the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit for God's HOPE so immensely available to us, always!

Going through one of those headaches of which I've not had to that degree in YEARS, had I not had the recent insight about Hope in God--well, I'm not sure how I'd have made it through with the peace of Christ and the strength of the Holy Spirit, with the love flowing from the Father with the Son poured into me by the Holy Spirit.

Praise the Holy Trinity!  Praise His Real Presence!  My heart sings with praises of thanksgiving!

Praying deeper conversions that I enter into praising Father, Son, and Holy Spirit increasingly, into a constancy of affection and love of God in Himself, with that love flowing out perfectly to love of all others, love of this temporal life and world, love of the heavenly realms, the angels, the saints, the glory of God.

Catholic Hermit: Battling Discouragement

Having much fatigue from increased pain but also I am battling a spirit of discouragement.  

Rationally, there is no reason for feeling discouraged.  I am striving each day to keep going here, to try to do what manual labor I can in order to "finish the race" on this old farmhouse--my Te Deum Hermitage these past five-plus years.

I know well that discouragement is a "spirit" of the dark forces, sent by the devil to try to defeat from within the mind, heart, and soul.  These aspects of our beings (mind, heart, soul) can greatly affect our bodies.  All is connected--the temporal and the spiritual--while we are in our bodies on this earth.

I also know that praising God is a tremendous antidote against the spirit of darkness, which in effect is the disgrace of discouragement.

Yesterday I struggled with not allowing discouragement to affect the mind and emotions, yet the obstacles infiltrated all the same.  The devil can gain entrance through subtle cracks.  Fatigue is one of them--fatigue from pain as pain is quite tiring.  Upon waking, this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit's body is exhausted.  Pain does that.

The devil also can gain foothold through even the most fleeting thought of past or future.  Thus it is crucial to remain in the present moment.  However, a memory was introduced via a present moment event--a reminder of someone in the past who quite cruelly mistreated, causing quite difficult challenges not only for me but for others--children then, now grown. I found myself praying yet again for the person yet noticed that while years have passed, praying for the person remains in itself not easy in purity of loving concern for a soul.  But that is the goal in prayer--to have purity of loving concern for whomever we pray.

Then the devil tried to creep in (and got part-way through the cracked opening) through obstacles in the manual labor.  Raphael who had said he would come yesterday to help figure out how to get the screen out of a skylight his workers had installed (need to now clean the window after a couple years of dust accumulation--like the spirit of discouragement, subtly but increasingly noticeable build-up).  He was also going to screw in the 6" screws to secure stair newell posts, as my right hand and elbow are not up to the steady strength required to maintain power of drill on head of 6" screw in such a crucial stair post setting.

He did not come; and in the meantime I also could not finish the upstair's hall flooring at a threshold until I can remove the pocket door which needs trimming at bottom to clear the new floor height as well as is catching on something within the pocket construciton.

So I tried to switch to other tasks needing completion.  I decided to set the final door frame in opening to upstair's bathroom.  Got it shimmed, plumb, and level--screwed into doorway--only to realize that I needed to saw off a half-inch at bottom of frame.  So I removed the screws and shims that took quite awhile to get just-so in order to have the frame as perfect as possible to hold the door itself.  Went to pole barn to retrieve the hand saw, set the removed door frame on the floor with padding so would not scratch floor, and sawed off the half-inch.  Reinstalled the door frame--re-shimmed, put in setting screws, and decided to paint final coat on door laid out on sawhorses in living room.

Painted it but was distracted then in another task.  Later when I walked by the painted door, I noticed some paint had started to run in the door's inset panel.  It also had dried enough that I will need to sand and re-paint that door, at least in the three places the paint had left "run" marks.  Must wait 16 hours between coats of this trim paint, so more delay in this project, as well.

Amidst these various attempts for the spirit of discouragement to gain entry to within from without, a thought returned of which I'd been reminded for awhile now.  It was that of the elderly woman who passed in here six years ago.  She has made her presence known a few times, rather obviously; and her soul is not one that is settled nor at peace.  

I have been praying for her to be at peace and for the repose of her restless soul, well as to reassure that there will be others to live here when I'm no longer.  There has been confirmation through others, and some tangible aspects, that in earthly life she was dabbling in non-Christian beliefs and actions.  The devil uses all weakness to attack.  I have sensed that this soul has been disturbed by my effort to finish and to leave, thus I've experienced strange but real obstacles in addition to the more logical ones.

Despite the various ways the devil approaches and proceeds to try to gain entry into our daily lives, through spirit of discouragement or whatever other spirit of darkness, we must persevere in praise of God as well as in prayer for others and even ourselves.  Lord, have mercy on my soul!  Lord, save us!  Lord, have mercy; Christ, have mercy!

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow.  Praise Him above and here below.  Remain in the Order of the Present Moment.  Keep going, simply keep going.  Even if the daily, temporal life events seem disjointed and haphazard--seeming without meaning or purpose in a spiritual way, or in our holy vocation or God-willed mission in life--these events and tasks are what God has allowed and of which are set before us to be tackled and from which we learn invaluable spiritual lessons.

Today is a new beginning, a metamorphosis from the night's dark cocoon of resting in some other realm, somewhere between temporal and mystical or combination therein.  Dawn brings new life, new hope, a new chance for increased faith, new conversations in prayer and new praising of God.
And today brings new challenges against spirits of darkness no matter the types.

We persevere for the love of God and strive to think, do, and be all for God, all for His glory,  all for His love.  The temporal outcomes (such as whatever occurs with finances, health, finishing (or not) but yet relocating (unless death precludes) do not matter nearly as much (or at all) as does the process in which we proceed and unfold in each present moment of life.

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit Apologizes for Writing Errors

My laptop needed repair so is in civilization for a week, more or less.  My iPad is having issues of not allowing me to scroll down to write or correct errors.  I do hope readers can figure out the gist of what is not all that crucial in content, regardless!  But it is an expression of some of the processes this  pain-nauseated, consecreted Catholic hermit is experiencing with the Lord and with temporal and spiritual daily life.

The previous post was concluding with the wisdom the Lord gives in simplicity and simply offering to pray for those who seek counsel and advice, especially ,when their seeking begins to keep,them from figuring out their issues when counsel has been given previously.  I must not hesitate to encourage others to live and learn and consult God in their on going journeys.

The Lord allows me pain and fatigue from pain to teach me much, even when it is to help me realize I ought not talk or to remain with written input which is far better in many instances. Mthe other can read what they want to express of their problems, and I can pray, discern, and respond.  Or not delve into repeating or fall into my own reaction of frustration and offer the most powerful help given us, and that is to pray for one another.

In this phase of my own spiritual journey as a co secreted Catholic hermit but more as simply a child of God, in processlike others, I must not become entangled unnecessarily but to devote much time to the silence of solitude and the prayer of listening to the Lord and of praising Him.

Catholic Hermit: Law of God's Love

I continue to be intrigued and inspired by the Living Word of God.  Years ago, when confined to a hospital bed in my home for three months--my children quite young and my parents having come to care for us--I listened to audio tapes of the Bible.  My very favorite epistle was and remains the Letter to the Hebrews.  It spoke to me deeply then and does so now.

The following excerpt from Hebrews 10 brings forth, yet again, the reality of the laws of minds--even if these laws may be inspired by God.  Repeatedly in Scripture we are told that the laws of minds are limited and limiting in the temporal.  The law of God--the law of Love--is superior to all other laws.  The law of God's Love presumes and includes our desire for and willingness to do and be in God's will.

This nothing consecrated Catholic hermit, this morning, will ponder and rejoice in the reminder of that which is offered in love of God, not according to even the canon laws of the church--it is love of God in Himself and love of others that delights God, His Son, and the Holy Spirit.  

It is the law of Love that God desires of us.  The reality of this is quite freeing and up-lifting.  Our souls rise in thanksgiving and praise, in love of God.

Yes, by this will, by doing God's will, we have been consecrated through the offering of the Body of Jesus Christ once for all.

Brothers and sisters:

Since the law has only a shadow of the good things to come,

and not the very image of them, it can never make perfect

those who come to worship by the same sacrifices

that they offer continually each year.

First he says, "Sacrifices and offerings,

burnt offerings and sin offerings,

you neither desired nor delighted in."

These are offered according to the law.

Then he says, "Behold, I come to do your will."

He takes away the first to establish the second.

By this "will," we have been consecrated

through the offering of the Body of Jesus Christ once for all.

Another section of Scripture, from Psalm 40, further emphasizes the delight of the Lord is in obedience to and love of His will.  Jesus Christ came to fulfill the Father's will, to fulfill the law of God's love, to save our souls and to provide a living and eternal example for us to do likewise.

I recall years ago, not long after the car accident and my earthly spouse had decided being married to me was no longer wanted, I knelt in a church where my young children and I attended.  I repeated with my whole heart: Here I am, Lord; I have come to do your will.

Following this full offering by repeating the words of Christ, the Living Word of God--my life took a turn to a far more spiritual existence than what I ever could anticipate.  And this spiritual life included deep and real suffering.  But also, the Lord touched my life with His grace, with gifts and consolations.

Even now, however, I am weak.  I need the strong Christ-reminder of love of God and love of obedience to God's will, the love of Jesus Christ and desire for union with God-Is-Love.  I desire His love to rule my body, mind, heart, and spirit!  Nothing else seems to work out in this life nor to have meaning--if not for His will, His Love.

From Psalm 40, the words ring true and inspire me anew this morning when my body is filled with increased pain and weariness from interrupted sleep.  The purpose of my life--questioned in all the manual labor set before me in a temporal dwelling.  Is this God's will for me?

Ah, Love is His will; and thus yes, the manual labor for now is His will...as much as any temporal activity...as long as my full being is honed to loving Him above all things, desiring union in His Love, accepting all as an outflow of His Love.

I have waited, waited for the Lord,
and he stooped toward me.
And he put a new song into my mouth,
a hymn to our God.
Sacrifice or oblation you wished not,
but ears open to obedience you gave me.
Burnt offerings or sin-offerings you sought not;
and then said I, "Behold, I come."
I announced your justice in the vast assembly;
I did not restrain my lips, as you, O LORD, know.
Your justice I kept not hid within my heart;
your faithfulness and your salvation I have spoken of;
I have made no secret of your kindness and your truth
in the vast assembly.

So it was that from that day forth when I formally repeated the words of Jesus, I strove to be a living voice of the Lord Jesus Christ, in the here and now.  In and after the back-to-back back surgeries, loss of temporal career, loss of health insurance and financial stability, loss of pain-free body, loss of earthly spouse, loss of life as it had been--I became emboldened to speak of God the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Yet in the hardships and sufferings of increasing trials and persecutions, it seems that over time I lost the ardor of sweetness in His Love.  I complicate my life by mere neglect of how easily present is His Love, how easy to just be a soul existing in His delight and residing in His trusted love for me.

His trusted love is true for each of us!  God loves us!

When I get wrought up in temporal problems, disappointments, weariness and concerns of the body, mind, and emotions--I can return to the lap of His Love by simply repeating the Living Words of Jesus Christ:

Here I am, Lord; I have come to do your will!

His will is His Love.

I do not know how to explain this truth, but it is true.  God's will is His Love.

Catholic Hermit on Prayer as "Soliciting"

Just following my previous post in which I describe a situation in which someone felt that his son asking a friend to help him carry sheetrock for me was a terrible form of "soliciting", it came to me that prayer is actually soliciting.  Or soliciting is actually praying!

And this thought surely came from the Holy Spirit.  I Googled the definition of the word "solicit", and sure enough, it describes prayer--other than the definition that is culturally honed as in soliciting for a prostitute.  But that is not the actual definition but an interpolation as a use that "soliciting" has taken on in a certain illegal (in most countries) activity.  

Now, this is yet another way of up-ending the tricks of the devil.  Take some aspect that stands out or is particularly irritating in how the devil has tried to cause unrest, ugliness, to foil plans and progress.  In my case with the neighbor, it was his repeated use of the word "solicit" and gerund or present participle, "soliciting."  

Then when the Holy Spirit touched the word with inspiration that it is actually a term with meaning describing the process by which we communicate with God--prayer--the attempt to cast it all into some distracting, negative discouragement suddenly becomes light and purpose and even de-light!

The following definition amazingly expresses and describes the usual purpose for our praying.  However, I note that when I was asked "Are you praising God?", that praising God is related to prayer in that it is a communication with God.  Yet praising God is in a category of its own in other aspects, as a form of uttered love whether or not uttered aurally or interiorly as praise of silence is powerfully effective with focused love of God and joy in being within His Real Presence.

Solicit:  ask for or try to obtain (something) from someone [God]

synonyms: ask for, request, seek, put in for, call for, press for, beg, plead for....

Origin: late Middle English from Old French soliciter, from Latin solicitare 'agitate,' from sollicitus 'anxious,' from sollus 'entire' + citus (past participle of cierre 'set in motion').

We can see from the above origins that each descriptor of word parts are aspects very much involved in the process of prayer.  We solicit, we may be agitated or anxious as a reason for praying--for asking God to help us, etc.  We put our entire desires and hopes and needs before God in our prayers with the intention of setting in motion our communication with Him which always results in His responding in some way, form, or manner.

I praise God for the insights and beauty of learning more about prayer from the aspect of the beautiful meanings and evolution of the word solicit!  I love the reality that today and most days and nights, my prayers indeed are solicitations of God.  And, I also love the revelation that praising God is something other than soliciting yet is a communication with God that gives glory and love without asking for or trying to obtain something from Him.

God gives us both and no doubt many other variations of praying and praising as holy communications with Him!  

[A simplified, direct statement of the above, I realized, is what I wrote to an adult daughter on the topic: Praising God is different from praying, as praising asks for nothing from God but rather gives God sole glory.

Catholic Hermit, "Are You Praising God?"

I'm b-a-a-a-a-ck to the old hermitage after a brief respite in civilization and environmental comfort.  My spine feels as if it's been kicked by a horse, though.  Sitting is never a positive experience for me, especially not in most seats.  Thanks be to God the air flight was not lengthy.

Have the space heater notched up high, have wool knit cap on, layers of clothing under flannel pajamas, under comforter.  Cold in night and even now, and even after my return resolve to get into work mode, it is a tremendous challenge to try to get up.  The pain level is up, at least--of course, it would be with the autonomic tensing and how the cold affects an arthritic-enhanced spine.

Yet, in all this, during the night when awake for awhile, I heard a voice ask a simple question that stood out from all other mental clutter.

"Are You Praising God?"

No, I was not, had not been.  But I will.  I will praise God in all things.  I will praise God in Himself, for Himself, and for all His Creation.

A woman shuttle driver picked me up at airport for ride to their parking lot a distance away--not far, but far enough to be less costly parking rates.  She asked how was my trip.  I responded how wonderful to be with loving people and in warmth and comfort and out of my old fixer upper.  She asked about it. I mentioned some of the circumstances, to which she was rather enthralled.  I stuck with the surface of the situation, but that I was thankful to have a warm few days and hot shower, and break from the hardships.

She needed to know where I was parked in the lot, and I mentioned the burgundy red, used pick-up which I named Precious Blood, for Jesus.

When we found Precious Blood, she refused a tip and said she actually was management just filling in for a driver and gets paid a very nice salary, and that she did not need the money.  She also, when we got out of the shuttle, said, "Let's pray right now! Would you mind?"  So she proceeded to take my hands in hers and prayed a most beautiful, powerful prayer, beseeching the Lord to help me see this challenging situation through to the end, if it be His will, and she praised God for what she considered to be marvels in what He's had me do thus far, all things considered.

Wonders never cease in other ways.  I had a message from the parish administrator, saying they have a couple willing to bring Communion if I'd still like that.  I returned call and left the message that it would be wonderful.  I will need to call to talk in person to find out more, of course.  Yet, I also know that there may be glitches to this offer.  I've come to be realistic and to know the devil uses about any means now in my current spiritual life phase, to try to get to me.

The assaults are not ones of the past that were more obvious in a devil-textbook-type way.  The evil one and his goons do not try to frighten me in the night, nor wake me up having me paralyzed to better taunt, nor have their been for several years any walls of fire across the foot of my bed, nor other such "phenomenal" type occurrences.

Rather, the devil more tries to work on the mind and emotions, tries to bring chaos and despair, as well as through the everyday encounters and events--mostly regarding the progress in my attempt to finish this old place to a salable point.  He also feeds upon the physical pain that is, and stirs the suffering through such as the goofy doctor situation as of late.

So it should be no surprise that when I called the one neighbor who has seemed helpful on infrequent occasion (I know to not impose but rarely even if he has said to call anytime), that the neighbor's reaction was so unexpected that I thought he was joking at first.

I need to get about 15 sheets of 4x8' drywall, and the neighbor's son a three more months ago when we carried in two larger sheets to put on a downstairs' wall suggested he find a friend to help him, and they come and carry the drywall that needs to go upstairs.  Well, one thing and another, and he was not available, but some boys from far off who my daughter knew from church when they lived in the area, did drive and carried up that drywall.  (Catholic friends from the past found it an irony that youth from the Nazarene Church came a distance to help when Catholics close by are not willing; but that is how it goes, and yes, it is an irony.)

So now I need more drywall and had to wait for decent weather to drive to civilization, get it loaded on truck, and have that occur on a weekend so the neighbor boy and whoever he got to help him, would not be able to do the unloading and taking up to second floor.  I'd left it with him that I'd call once we had an ideal weather forecast for a weekend.  It has taken a long time.

I called last night, and the dad answered.  He has in the past been quite kindly; it is the wife who can be a tough cookie.  So I thought the dad was joking when he said he did not say anything at first due to thinking I was a solicitor, and then said he would not at all let his son "solicit" a friend to do work.  I explained that his son had the idea awhile ago but that of course, I'd never want to do anything the parents would not approve.  (The boys would be paid a generous hourly, and it would take a half hour or so at most.)

The dad was not joking; his stern voice grew into nastily hardened.  I could hear him ask his kindly son just who the son had in mind and if he'd known about this to begin with? I could not hear the son's exact response but the voice exchange let me know the son was curdling.  Nope, not going to happen.  I again emphasized that I'd never have the teen do anything that seemed so wrong to his parents, and the dad said the kids were leaving for a week, anyway.  I said I'd hoped they'd have a good trip and wished all well.

Assuredly, the dad remained indignant.  I still am not quite sure how wrong or terrible a notion it was that a teen would get a friend to help carry some sheetrock for pay, one time, for an oldster.  Yet I am rather sure that the devil delighted in the surprise reaction and how it is going to impact my being able to make progress in here, as well as am not likely to call again, emergency or just a simple need for lifting help.  The Lord will provide some other means, surely.

The phone call also included a kind of inane comment about "solicitors" calling from one particular state of the country, and always from that state.  At first I thought that was the dad joking about that, too; yet he was not joking.  I last lived in that state, and I've never had solicitors call from there.  Seems like "solicit" and "solicitors" were the words for the day.  If the devil wants me to extrapolate meaning, it is that the neighbor man was suggesting that I am soliciting, as my old phone rings as if from that old area code.  The devil knows that I have called upon these people for help rarely, and I have paid or gifted each and every little time.

Anyway, I knew the devil was reacting to the lovely respite for my body, mind, heart, and soul--and also to the incredibly beautiful prayer of the shuttle van driver!  And the Holy Spirit instructed my angel in the middle of the night when I was mulling over the various thoughts and trying to manage pain and stay warm both, to appropriately ask me aloud, "Are you praising God?"

So I am!  In fact, it seems to me that praising God is surely the antidote to any demonic interference.

Mercy, I need to take another Excedrin in order to tamp down the spinal headache, and then I must rise and put on more layers, and get this body  moving about in here.  First thing I will sand the drywall areas I mudded a week ago and inspect to see the areas in which another coat or two will be needed for a smooth finish.  I'm working on the little laundry area closet.  I am interminably slow at all this, these days, this year, but I will praise God, yes.

Praising God is the means of overcoming obstacles and any tricks of the devil. But mostly, praising God is the verbal and mental expression of our love of God in Himself.  Perhaps we can consider it akin to the angels' singing praises of love and devotion to God the Most High as they stand before His Throne in Heaven.  I will imagine the neighbor man sitting on God's lap, having a wondrous day.

Welcome back, nothing consecrated Catholic hermit, to the Te Deum Hermitage (such as it is and in whatever pain I bear).  Praise God!

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit Praises God for The Nibbler

The little table out by the road upon which this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit places choice, fresh, organic produce is ever a source of lessons and praise.

A few days ago I awoke to a scene out there of smashed, large, ripe tomatoes.  Yes, I'd left some out there as I've done before, as sometimes (often) I cannot get the body physically up off the mattress very early in the morning.  At first I was rather crestfallen, as it was rather destructive, and I thought of the soup base those tomatoes would have made--blended, frozen for winter soups.

However, I then decided it was better to think that some raccoons had gotten them, smashed them.  That was a happier thought than had a passer by done it, for animals are creatures of habit without moral values even if they have temporal souls (while we humans have eternal souls).  [See the section in The Catechism of the Catholic Church on "souls", as St. Thomas Aquinas did masterful writing and had great insights, well-thought out, on the topic of plant and animal, and human, souls.]

Then, over the past week or so, there has developed a situation at the roadside table in which I place out gorgeous, mounded quarts of berries and tomatoes (cherry-size plus some small plum-size beauties).  When I'd go out to check if there needed to be more produce and to collect any contributions, I discovered a "nibbler" had been there.  Quarts were nibbled down halfway--not all but one or two or so.

Well, this was rather discouraging, for I strive to provide "omnia pro Deo"--all for God and my best for God for others even in quarts of produce.  I like it to be bounteous and beautiful, fresh-picked, and sumptuous-tasting.  So if quarts are nibbled down and I do not catch it, some other passer-by may not get the full benefit of bounty and generosity.  

(I never suggest donation amounts for I am striving to detach and totally let God provide.  People may or may not contribute, and I learn to see my own reactions and accept if there is nothing or something, little or much.  It works well this way for my spiritual progress as well as to see how greatly God provides, helps me pay the water bill, compost cost, seeds and plant start costs, and this summer left over to pay my medical bills that popped up unexpectedly.)

So when I first noticed The Nibbler's effects, I was a bit discouraged and put out, frankly.  I considered a small sign at the table saying that if one is hungry or cannot contribute, that is all right--to just take the quart and enjoy it!  But then I decided to wait to see if it would continue.  

It did.  The Nibbler (or perhaps there are more than one nibblers) continued to snack, nibbling down quarts part-way--but also began leaving contributions for the snack.  I figure The Nibbler may be a hiker or cyclist who enjoys the refreshment and wholesome energy boost, en route.  There is nothing remotely nearby, otherwise, to get anything to eat or drink.

And I started to notice that The Nibbler began to leave contributions for the half-quart of snacking.  And I noticed that the contributions were more than generous--plus, if I'd get my head and heart turned Godward, I could see how masterful the Master in making me do more walking and picking to fill up the quarts and return them to the roadside table.  The contributions tend to me more than what i could hope for in a full quart contribution from generous passers-by.

I make out very well, particularly in learning to appreciate The Nibbler for providing me with yet another lesson in perspective and in turning all to God in the positive ways of goodness and fruitfulness that God always provides if we see it His way.  Someone gets a delicious snack along his or her route; I get more exercise and stretching in walking and bending, picking, and replacing; and I also get, most of the time, probably more a tangible contribution than had a person taken the full quart.  

(Sometimes people leave nothing or very little; and my perspective on that is learning the positive of detachment, trust, appreciation and the reminder that all this is God's creation and effort, even down to the energy and ability for me to plant, water, and pick.)  

Definitely, I can praise God for The Nibbler.  I see that I am by far the beneficiary of all good in this effort of a little roadside table and offering fresh, organic produce which depends upon what has grown, ripened, and people desire.  The crows twice got the corn plantings before I realized they were the sneaky culprits. 

I learned about "row covers", and now I'm awaiting with hope, if the weather holds, some corn beyond the 8 ears thus far that the crows did not snatch early on of the plantings.  Yet, a raccoon or two has become "nibblers", and I am dealing with them in a man v. nature mode.  The bird-netting for the berries had a brown rat in it the other day, and I apologized to the rat but explained I was not a saint and thus did not quite have it in me at this phase of my spiritual development, to reach in and try to untangle it.  

I prayed and asked the Lord to ease it from this life peacefully, as the critter was toward the end of its struggle when I happened upon it.  The next morning, some other creature had enjoyed sustenance; the rat had been disposed of, probably in a hawks maw and stomach.  I shared this experience with the grandson who called this morning.  He, age 9, informed me of the scientific term and concept:  nature's food chain.

Praise God for The Nibblers, human and creaturely!  Praise God for bounteous produce, for all He gives us to eat and share, and for generous contributors in our daily lives.  God provides!

Catholic Hermit: Tailspin of Pain; Love and Mercy

Made the drive into civilization with the non-charging laptop.  Had a phone call along the way of another matter that did not go well.  Being bashed several times a day!  Had to do with a disputed bill. This nothing consecrated Catholic hermit "lost it" a bit.  Later got a grip, went into God-pivot and then praising.

In the Apple store, the non-charging laptop charged.  Worked.  They had the top tech working on it due to third time to come in with the issue in the last couple or so weeks.  They had replaced the computer innards.  Strange, as it would not charge last night nor this morning, and nothing had changed in the hermitage.  They thought surely it was something "environmental."  Hmm.

I did not bring up the electronic interference I experience now and then.  However, they did find something else wrong, in a software issue.  They worked an hour and a half trying to resolve it.  Had three "geniuses" trying to figure out what it was, and finally got the manager.  "Weird, very weird," I could hear them commenting to one another.

Then they told me they'd never seen anything like it and could not solve it so were sending the issue to the "engineers".  I'd be contacted within 48-hours so that the "engineers" could work on it, remote.

With the spinal headache I'd awakened with this morning increasing, my short term memory down to maybe 3 seconds (poor Apple tech had to repeat to me frequently), I felt inclined to explain that pain level is high and thanks for repeating: short-term recall gone.  Simple, humble communication helps.

With the weirdness of the laptop not charging, then charging elsewhere, I have resolved to get the house blessed sooner than later.  It is time!  Be proactive!  I also decided to get the unfortunate stress of the doctor's visit off my back, figuratively and literally.

I made a phone call and discussed with office manager that chronic pain patients need support and cooperation rather than punishment.  Yes, I am aware that some people are drug addicts, but the genuine sufferers should not be made to suffer even more.  While I realize the doctor has not known me long, my records are there.  

Already in middle of night with break-through pain, I've had to take an extra med but am now sleep-deprived and heading into a pain siege.  Pain patients need sleep as pain is fatiguing to begin with.  Then if medication is not adequate, the problem spirals into cyclical pain sieges requiring stronger medication and being in bed for a few days, further reducing the muscle tone which is necessary to remain active as possible.

I will be seeing nurse practitioner next time.  Don't need more stress.  Although I know the evil one is giving backlash, causing some chaos, allowed to enter temporal senses (pain!), also messing with emotions and knowledge, we simply must handle what we can handle by communicating needs, explaining logically, laughing, not blaming, but forging forward proactively.

Then do the God-pivot!  Keep thoughts on God above; love others as Jesus loves us!

But, I'm now in full pain ordeal, and sick with it.  Have taken extra Excedrin, drank sugary coffee, flopped on mattress, going to get ice packs when I can next get up, and will keep praising God!

Answered a couple emails of the two women who were taking their major steps this week, putting their feet down on tricks of the devil.  One insight came to mind, that I shared, and will share here, for I need the reminder more than anyone:  Love and Mercy.

One of the women has had some interference going on with an old trigger-point--something of her past and also thinking it is envy.  Well, it is a trigger from her past but probably not all the envy and other guilt aspects she was over-thinking: castigating herself rather harshly and coming up with various guilt-thoughts.  She wanted my input.

In the thick of this horrible headache, squinting as I type, "Love and Mercy" came to the intellect within the center of the soul.  (No interference from devil there!)  It is clear:  "Love and Mercy."

Keep the prayers simple.  Think like God thinks, with Love and Mercy.  Just pray:  Love and Mercy.  Let all the other thoughts drift away.  Stop beating ourselves with analysis of what others did or how they influenced our past.  Stop ruminating on the reasons why we might be envious, or on other subjective flogs, or dwelling on situations that stew us.  

Don't strain the brain in praying.  Simply fill all the rings of our soul with the words: Love and Mercy.  It works.

The prayer is Love and Mercy.  That suffices especially in times of stress and suffering.  It probably suffices at any and all time.  How God thinks ought to be enough for us, right?

(By the way, had a message that the bill dispute is resolved.  I guess my "losing" it for a bit was redeemed by my doing the God-pivot.  He handled it with His Love and Mercy.)

Catholic Hermit, More Demonic Interference

Can't write the details now, but there have been an onslaught of demonic assaults, mostly of temporal interference and near disasters.  On the lower range, there a trifling matters like driving into civilization to pick up repaired laptop, only to return to desert exile and have it not repaired.  Had calamities with ceiling issue but worked literally through that.

Was rear ended on way to civilization, shortly after made a call to parish administrator who had not returned call the day prior, saying three people from my past, very holy souls, called out of blue and buoyed me to return to Mass despite the parishioners having turned to coldness, gossip, shunning from one weekend Mass to the next, just like that.  The consensus is that if these Catholics choose to act like pagans and not as Christians, or cannot even try to fake being Christians, that is up to them.  I am not an occasion of sin to them.  They choose it.  I will come to Mass.

I have learned that there is no running from the devil.  We will find out if the priest will still come bless this place and give my suffering body the Sacrament of Anointing of the Sick.  It has been awhile since this great help.  The priest was very agreeable prior to Mass, but quite awkward after.

Rejoice!  My good Catholic friends who each called within 12 hours, and one I'd not spoken with in ten years or so...well, they said hold fast to the Faith.  Do not let the interference hinder.

I recalled what Jesus had told me four years ago, including that I would feel very alone but am to remain strong.  Not easy!  He showed me parishioners, mostly women but some men, and some priests.  He said they would criticize and misjudge me, but I am to pay no attention to them.

But I had let them get to me, from whence I came.  And here, it is tempting to simply not return despite how good is the Mass with a priest who is in his vocation, very solid.  Yes, of course, it is quite understandable that people would take the low road when it comes to anything different to them.  I understand how the devil uses people, also.  Don't ever doubt that reality, dear readers.

In Civilization yesterday, after being rear ended, which did not harm Precious Blood, my used pick up truck, there was next such a near miss of what would have been a horrible accident akin to the one 32 years ago that provided a crucifixion and life of pain.  A huge, black truck pulled around me at a turn, cut in front of me wildly, and I was stunned that by God's grace alone, I was spared.

Then I return to the hermitage thinking my laptop repaired, when not, and got a call from cabinet installer.  He cannot come today and knows not when he can.  Stuff is packed up, boxes stacked, no room to sort through to find now some medication that I thought six weeks ago had plenty.  Then, the kitchen was to be non-functional for a total of five days.

There is more, but of the same type of mishaps and issues with whatever I attempt here, in small ways but chaotic and hindering.  Now, who does that kind of stuff, and why?

The devil is not happy that I am persevering.  I continue the prayers, I will proceed with getting the hermitage blessed, for that will be positive and cleansing at deep levels for the temporal space, the spiritual aspects, and even for this consecrated Catholic hermit living here.  If the parish priest hesitates after he previously was quite pleased to be asked, then there are the hermit priests even if of the other "lung" of the Church, as is said of the Eastern and Western Catholic Church who had their division centuries ago.

The devil was involved in that chaos.  Nothing new with the devil, is there?

I am praying to get my sense of humor revived after the obstacles started to weigh on me.  At least I have meds for the bulk of the physical pain, and although the living conditions are most difficult over time, physically so, there are always so many praise worthy events and thoughts, that one simply turns the tables over on the devil and those who are being used as pawns.

As for the parishioners, it will be interesting to find out how long they choose to do the cold and shunning routine.  Like the little grandson who at times misbehaves as can occur with a young child, his mother tells him it is his choice to behave like that, or to be pleasant and have a good day.  I will do my best to smile and say little pleasantries going and leaving; but I will be worshipping with the Body of Christ, in person, unless my body pain is too much from time to time.

We must never give in to the devil.  We must not run from the devil.  I did that before, and the devil has an amazing way of showing up again.  One must not draw the red line and then change it, move it.  This is spiritual warfare.  Rejoice and be glad!  The Lord is more powerful!  Regardless the near misses yesterday and the hindrances, nothing is insurmountable.  Persevere!  Have fortitude!

  

Praise God! Praise God! Praise God!

This is one praising-God-consecrated-Catholic-hermit!

I admit I did not consciously remember to do so this morning, but perhaps the Lord sensed it from my joy and gratitude.

I decided to FaceTime with grandson. Give it a shot.  He answered; we chatted about his exciting new trampoline news.  The adult daughter came on.  Nice!  I boldly asked if they could come this summer and help make progress here, that I'd really like to get this place more finished and needed help.  She agreed.  We discussed possible time frames.

Then she mentioned even helping finance having someone hang drywall on living room ceiling rather than us put in tongue-in-groove ceiling in that oblong room.  It is an ascetic reason; the ceiling might be too "busy" with all those boards running the length, even if staggered.  The vaulted back area will be fine with wood ceilings, as well as upstairs and my little cell downstairs where I exist when not manual laboring.

Raphael is coming on Tuesday to see how much it might cost.  The daughter has since sent a couple names of drywall workers with good reviews.  So, there is encouragement, hope, support, and renewed potential.  Praise God!

With such encouragement, this old hermit actually took the momentum to tied down to a tree on other side of pole barn, the ladder laid on top of pole barn metal roof.  This flat ladder idea was given by a friend so that I'd have something to grab when up on the treacherous roof wire-brushing rust off each grommet and other rust patches and spray painting.  After all that is completed, I will roll on two coats of a very durable exterior paint.

I'd been putting off this project for obvious reasons.  The roof is slick not so much from the metal itself but the original paint is so worn as to be dulled and chalky.  I've been asking my angel to hold me steady and keep every small step secured, as well as getting down off the roof on ladder I have set up against the side of pole barn.

Over 1/3 of the rust areas are brushed and sprayed before weather impeded the progress.  Regardless, I can praise God over and over for whatever.  And it certainly is a lot easier to praise God when good things happen, such as touches of loving kindness.  Even if the daughter for some reason cannot come the earlier week we discussed, she said they can definitely come later in the summer.

Praise God!  That's all it took:  an offer, some help coming down the road, encouragement, hope.

Since the weather prohibits roof progress, this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit will praise its way (after a back pain rest break) through sorting and clearing up much of the tool and construction supplies mess inside the hermitage.  Amidst being leveled by pain much of the winter and death process of my will, then so much outdoor work to do, then the thumb would drama, I had let "stuff" accumulate and clutter.

And praise God even though Don at Lowe's has procrastinated already on talking with manager about the bathroom cabinet issues.  I did remind him that maybe "third time will be the charm", and we will get it right this time.  I doubt he will do as he said and talk with the manager, so I may need to make that call.  Praise God regardless what they do or do not do about it!  I must get the proper width cabinets rather than have to take out drywall and re-wire outlets and fixtures.  

Praise God even when matters aren't going well.

Regardless, praise God for all breakthroughs the day before Pentecost Sunday!

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love God above all things, and love others as Jesus loves us.  (This teaching was in today's Mass reading from the Gospel of John.)  Praise God.