A Tidbit from "Stillness"

St. John Climacus has quite a step on the Divine Ascent in his writing on "Stillness."  This nothing Catholic hermit is remiss in stillness, for sure, but all the same, we press on.  There is not a thing that we cannot learn, nothing we cannot change in ourselves, by the grace of His Real Presence.  The Virgin Mary desires to help us; our guardian angels delight in our desire to climb the stairway to heaven!

This thought strikes a lovely chord today.

"Take hold of the walking stick of patience, and the dogs will soon stop their impudent harassment.  Patience is a labor that does not crush the soul. It never wavers under interruptions, good or bad.  The patient [hermit] is a faultless worker who has turned his faults into victories. Patience sets a boundary to the daily onslaught of suffering. It makes no excuses and ignores the self.  The worker needs patience more than food, since the one brings him a crown while the other brings destruction.  The patient man has died before his death, his cell being his tomb.  Patience comes from hope and mourning, and indeed to lack those is to be a slave to despondency."

And this little end note a staccato key:

"Let the soul's eye be ever on the watch for conceit, since nothing else can produce such havoc."

[Yes, always if there is havoc, we never fail to discover some pride of one sort or another having stirred the previousy still waters.]

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another!

The Signs of Humility

These are marvelous signs of humility.  Blessed are those who have them!

• Poverty
• Withdrawal from the world
• The concealment of one's wisdom
• Simplicity of speech
• The seeking of alms
• The disguising of one's nobility
• The exclusion of easy and free relationships
• The banishment of idle talk

(Yet am reading and pondering insights of St. John Climacus.  Humility is the 25th out of 30 steps he astutely shares in The Ladder of Divine Ascent.)

Chastity

Continuing reading on chastity in St. John Climacus' The Ladder of Divine Ascent.

Have not dealt with the visceral, the lustful, sexual aspects of lust in years, but could relate totally with how the process operates on the body and the mind, and how the devil tempts--even if a person is called to the married state.  

Regardless, the effort for gaining chastity is life-long and known to all souls, as we are melded to our bodies while on earth.  The natural instincts rise in puberty and often don't leave in thought or in bodily stirrings.

Of note, it is mentioned that those who think they have achieved victory over their bodies and minds in this regard, are fooling themselves.  And, this leads into the aspect of chastity as a virtue of purity, and purity includes not just the psychosexual and physical, sexual inclinations of the human body, mind, and emotions.  Purity extends to other levels, reaching into the soul to desire and grasp what is the freedom of the angels in this regard.

Another point about chastity is that blessed is the soul who has no more nor less attraction to animate beings than to inanimate beings.

And for this, we know that some humans (and animals) are born with seemingly more tendency to sexual prowess and desires, inclinations, than others.  Some are more spiritually inclined, or able to transcend the body, but not out of disgust or perversion against sexuality or mating for the purposes of propagation of our and their species.  For these persons, chastity may not pose as great an obstacle or life-long battle of higher degrees, but there is always the prize of other forms of chastity, or purity, to be desired, gained, and if gained, to honor and hold.

Everything John Climacus writes as to the wiles of the devil (and the devil in others or in us as tempter and provoker of unchaste conquests), this nothing can certainly relate with.  But there was a time when it would not have been able to know from experience, the manipulations and the deceptions of the human mind when concupiscence comes to clutch the body, mind, and emotions.

This is a blessing, and knew it fairly soon into the process.  It was something His Real Presence needed this nothing to learn and thus to be greatly humbled by the force of not only desires but the sheer cunning of the devil in trying to debase one's chastity.  Frankly, it was awful, and the bulk of the battle was in extricating from the relationship.  The outcome came when the Lord allowed the inner will and strength to mount to a point of knowing with certainty that He was the desired Beloved and none other.

For those called to other ways upon earth, in their spiritual journeys, they live and learn chastity within a sanctioned and holy relationship.  It seems as if God arranges quite perfectly, even our falls from grace, and shows us for ourselves, what we truly desire when we get out of the predicament.

Climacus explains, also, the reason why illicit sexual relations are considered to be "falls", when other sins are termed "lapses."  In the earlier centuries, there were stiff consequences by the Church for those who "fell" in fornication.  Twelve years without the sacraments, and the sinner had to show deep repentance.  For heretics, their lapse was considered not as terrible because it could be they were ignorant of the faith.  As consequence, once they repented with heart-felt sorrow and new zeal for the faith, they were required to have four years of catechesis, but most could receive the sacraments immediately or soon, depending upon their return and conviction.

But, all that, as we know, has changed in our times.  It perhaps is another example of how the temporal can shift, and to live too much involved and caught up in rules and temporal consequences, is not the same as the soul's intimate repentance and conversion with His Real Presence, and suffering the far worse (or so it seems) consequences of having offended Him.  The agony and remorse is so great when the soul repents with God as his soulmate, that other external consequences don't seem to carry the same weight.  

Yet, receiving the Sacraments when in grave sin, is not wise, in a spiritual aspect.  No, it is rather serious; but only the soul who strives for chastity even if with imperfection--but with desire to be pure--would know how wretched it is to partake of His Body and Blood when so chained to wrong doing.  It does seem rather impossible for the temporal Church to even begin to try to place restrictions on those who fornicate, for how could they manage?  It comes down to a trust issue, between the soul and the confessor, perhaps.  

But truly, it seems best dealt with between the soul and His Real Presence.  If the person in sin has not the desire to change nor the contrition of heart, not struggling sincerely to overcome the unchaste behavior, that soul becomes hardened and deceived.  However, the one who knows his wrong for what it is even if cannot yet overcome the vice, will anguish when receiving His Body and Blood, and know deep within how he is defiling God, seriously, painfully.  These considerations, though, have to do with various, particular conditions of individual souls.  All of us have chastity to gain....

Again, it would be very difficult to enforce, externally, sacramental consequences in our times.  His Real Presence handles it, within each soul, either during life or at judgment.  What is sad is that we people tend not to fear, and allow ourselves to be convinced that we are chaste, when there are always degrees and the whole aspect of purity in various levels, not just bodily.

Reading what John Climacus has to say on this particular step in the Divine Ascent, brings up many other truths and considerations with the virtue of chastity--far more than the little bit of discussion here.  

It is worth reading, this book, and prayerfully considering his knowledge and wisdom from a time closer to the days Christ taught on earth, and the experiences of the apostles in working out a less encumbered church, at least the temporal aspects of Her, than now.  Seems good to comb through some centuries' worth of this and that, and get down to some basics.  Chastity, plain and pure, for instance.

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Despondency, Tedium

Wow!  Am yet in bed, tired, weary, and and yet trying to pray for others.  A call came from one of the rather estranged adult children.  At first the hermit's voice betrayed its tearfulness--self-pity, surely, plus a bit of fear in letting go of emotional self-protection.  Yet, before long, the hermit was sharing and asking questions, even if not getting detailed responses.  The heart was loving, once again, from this heart to that one.  Love never really leaves, does it?

Then decided to read the next step in John Climacus' The Ladder of Divine Ascent.  He writes of despondency, which he also calls "tedium."  In a short rendering, the solitary hermit monk, John, clarifies and diagnoses exactly what is this nothing Catholic hermit's current aliment.  Despondency.

When time and again, am picking up the book to read another step or few pages within a step of the 6th century, holy man's guidance, the content addresses exactly what this Catholic hermit needs!  This is what occurs when we do not dismiss some nudge or a word, or name, or image that comes to us.  A couple or more weeks ago the name "John Climacus" popped into the mind.  After researching online, found the book he wrote in the 6th century or earliest years of 7th century.

From that point on, purchasing a used book on line,  St. John Climacus has entered Te Deum Hermitage and is a present help to this pathetic hermit herein.

Not everyone will benefit at any given time, to some book another is reading.  However, this book is worth reading for anyone who has not had an inner showing of what holy person or holy writing His Real Presence is choosing.  If nothing else has been shown or told you, in other words, The Ladder of Divine Ascent by John Climacus will prove worthy of your time and thought.

__________________

As to despondency, and overcoming it, it seems best to present some of Climacus' points.

Despondency or tedium of the spirit...is a paralysis of the soul, a slackness of the mind, a neglect of religious exercises, a hostility to vows taken.  It is an approval of worldly things.  It is a voice claiming God has no mercy and no love for men.  It is a laziness in the singing of the Psalms, a weakness in prayer, a stubborn urge for service, a dedication to the work of the hands, an indifference to the requirement of obedience.  

Tedium is rebuffed by religious life, but it is the constant companion of the hermit, living with him until the day of his death, struggling with him until the very end.  She smiles at the hermit's cell and comes creeping up to live nearby.

Tedium loves to be involved in hospitality, urges the hermit to undertake manual labor so as to enable him to give alms, and exhorts us to visit the sick, even recalling the words of Jesus Who said, "I was sick, and you came to visit Me" (Matthew 25:36).  Tedium reminds those at prayer of some job to be done....She searches out any excuse to drag us from prayer....Tedium suggests we call upon the fainthearted and discouraged and sets one languishing to try to lift up the other....  

Tedium is a kind of total death for the monk....Tedium is one of the eight deadly vices, and indeed the gravest of them all.  ...nothing gains as many crowns for the monk as the struggle against this.

We have a good idea of how despondency, or tedium, immobilizes us.  Next, John Climacus sets out how to conquer this vice.  Snippets are offered here, to aid us in overcoming this horrible ailment!

This tyrant [despondency, tedium] should be overcome by the remembrance of past sins, battered by hard manual labor, and brought to book by the thought of the blessings to come.  

Tedium's modus operandi (Climacus calls it tedium's many mothers), are as follows:

• Stolidity of Soul
• Forgetfulness of the Things of Heaven, or
• Too Heavy a Burden of Troubles
• Changing from Place to Place
• Disobedience of One's Superior
• Forgetfulness of the Judgment to Come, and
• Sometimes the Abandonment of One's Vocation   

Again, the enemies to despondency or tedium are singing of Psalms, manual labor, thought of death, and particularly, prayer backed by hope in the blessings to come later.  Climacus adds, to ask despondency or tedium:  "Who gave birth to prayer?"  For, the reminder that God is the source and substance of prayer, is a powerful weapon against a stolid or languishing, unanimated, soul.

______________________________

In this selection, this Catholic hermit sees itself, specifically, in many points.  The lack of hope, the inability to rise from bed and return to manual labor, the lapsing from praying the Psalms (yes, so soon after returning to them and doing so well!), and too heavy a burden of troubles.  Why, the hermit was even considering that perhaps it had no vocation at all, and perhaps this solitary path and the hardships of current existence, are a ruse.  Perhaps the hermit could grab back its life of the old way, of the world, in which the distractions helped pass the time and bring a forgetfulness of the narrow way and the spiritual climb.

But no, this man who achieved great holiness in his earthly life and who followed the path of Jesus Christ in detail and profound humility, is guiding this nothing Catholic hermit through his writings, and he has nailed it--nailed it!--right down to the cross upon which this hermit has been struggling.  And the struggle has been nearly motionless, inert, and despairing at times, and that because hope had been overcome by troubles, and the spiritual practices had been ignored due to the sirens of attending to other matters, other distractions, even if at the time they seemed important.

While there is too much to The Ladder of Divine Ascent to share specifically, this nothing Catholic hermit recommends to you readers, that if His Real Presence places a spark of interest in your hearts and minds, order it online, either new or used, from Amazon.com or Abebooks or some other bookseller.  Some libraries might even have a copy in storage! Let John Climacus guide, if His Real Presence so desires him to be of assistance to you as he is to this nothing hermit.  If not now, perhaps another time, the name John Climacus and his book may come to your mind as it did here, recently.

Note:  There are two publications.  One is The Classics of Western Spirituality, Paulist Press, with excellent introduction by Bishop Kallistos Ware.  The other publication is more costly, but some prefer the translation; it is published by The Holy Transfiguration Monastery.  The Paulist Press edition is what this hermit is reading, as well as an 87-year-old spiritual friend.  Each of us is having no difficulty understanding, and both are benefiting greatly.

Difference Between Theologians and Those Who Mourn

St. John Climacus offers wise insights and Scriptural guidance in climbing the holy mountain.

He writes thoroughly and in balance, upon the topic of mourning as a gift from God.  There are levels of mourning, but a beautiful aspect of tears is when the soul grows tearful and weeps without having purposefully tried to weep.  The tears bring added tenderness to the soul; they wash away our sins.  Praise His Real Presence for these tears!

On theology and mourning, Climacus notes they do not go together.  They weaken each other in any attempt to unite the two.

The difference between a theologian and a mourner is that the one sits on a professorial chair while the other passes his days in rags on a dungheap.  

This is truth.  Thinking with the head and thinking with the heart are two differing processes, two ways of thoughts.

True compunction is pain of soul without any distraction.  It offers itself no rest and thinks hourly of death.  It stands in wait of the God Who brings comfort, like cool water, to humble [souls].  And those gifted with the heart's depth of mourning regard their lives as detestable, painful, and wearying, as a cause of tears and suffering, and they turn away from their body as from an enemy.

Tears arrive with varying ways.  Consider what brings on our tears in different situations.  They come from troubles of earth, troubles of body, troubles of mind, troubles of soul.  The ones that come from the realization that we all must die tend to be the tears without guile.  They are more pure; they bring the greater glory of God and thus more relief and joy.

In your heart be like an emperor, seated high in humility, commanding laughter:  "Go!" and it goes; sweet weeping:  "Come!" and it comes; and our tyrant and slave, the body: "Do this!" and it does it.

The man wearing blessed, God-given mourning like a wedding garment gets to know the spiritual laughter of the soul.

_____________________

There have been tears here this morning, in Te Deum Hermitage.  From whence do they come?  Well, all tears come from God because He creates our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls.  Can the devil initiate tears?  One wonders.  But rather, turn thoughts to His Real Presence, for He allows all for our good.  When we do consider the source of our tears, we can learn to alter the course of their flow.

Tears here from this hermit's body are of pain and sorrow, of a helplessness and hopelessness of circumstances.  They are embellished by some memories as well as some darkness of the environment.  Intermingled with the more temporal source of the tears, is the recognition of this hermit's failings and definitely of its approaching death.  Thus sorrow for its sins enter into the waters, and the tears become a wonderment of God being the soul's sole provider and King.

A Thanksgiving Day phone call to an elderly aunt who sent a Thanksgiving note and a little monetary help....  She had written to remind:  Count our blessings.  When the aunt answered her phone, she admitted she has been depressed due to weakening eyes and other ails, and facing giving up her car.  She has to adapt to a nursing facility in which most of the other residents do not have as clear minds nor desire stimulating conversations of some substance.  She admits she must try to do what she can to rise beyond these facts of life.  "It is as it is," we each concluded to our individual situations.

The hermit mentioned to her the aspect of not being able to get the hermitage more livable.  By now, it is obvious that there is no point in trying to hire workers from this area, for the hermit has been repeatedly financially raped and lied to in the past 20 months or more.  The aunt knows this, too, and agrees.  We accept.  She wishes there would be at least a plumber to help, but no, not one, not yet.  The birds get in, probably through a rotted fascia board not replaced when the men put on a new roof.  The hermit opens a window and tries to guide them out with the end of a broom motioning the way.

The rats have not been back in for awhile, but they are decomposing under the house.  There is no one to help.  But, the aunt mentions surely this hermit will be having a Thanksgiving meal with the daughter and her family?  No, all the adult children and their families, in various parts of the country, are flying to their father and his wife's lovely home overlooking a golf course, in yet another state.

The aunt was stunned.  This hermit mentioned reading in a spiritual book [The Ladder of Divine Ascent] that to hold on to past hurts is to keep malice in and be chained to bitterness.  Just because family and friends have lived through with the hermit, the past years of abuse from the marriage and divorce, and the tough times rearing the children and putting much into that good, does not mean that we all should think that others do not have a right to do as they wish.  Yet, the reality now is stark.

So these tears this morning have been a mix of the very base roots of physical pain (my, how the body aches with pain!), plus some reminders of past wounds (valid enough), plus then thoughts of this hermit's sins as well as how sin causes divisions (even if we did not perpetrate the particular sins that caused the division), as well as thoughts on hope and hopelessness, helplessness and dependency on God, and finally, that death is a purposeful reality.

The hermit made another phone call to a woman who had sent a note a week ago...a lovely note!  It knew the woman and her husband would be at their adult children's for this Thanksgiving Day, but it wanted to wish them a happy day as well as say thanks for the kind note.  The hermit's voice began to crack with weeping; and those tears, left as a message for them later, came from the source of love of this friend and the fondness of her goodness.

It is time to attempt dressing and doing a bit of manual labor, but if tears continue to flow--and they can be interior tears that do not fill the eyes or wet the cheeks--they are yet tears.  The mind and will can pray that the tears increasingly fill all tributaries emptying into the river and then to the sea, as tears graduating from the lower sources to the holy tears of God as Source.  

Weep for the love of God and recognition of our lowliness, and weep that we are aliens in a  strange land, that we are not yet there but are making progress.  To weep with all aspects of body, mind, heart and soul, is to weep in humility, as one in rags on the dungheap.  This is mourning that transcends knowledge or thinking with the head.  These tears mix with His Tears and flow into eternity as one whose tears will become joyful laughter.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another!  God Is Love!  Remain in His Love!

More on Renunciation

Yesterday managed to drive the distance into civilization to watch grandson give a science presentation.  The adult daughter discussed options to this situation here, with the latest obstacles and hardships.  The hermit explained how difficult, yet must trust in God and also, somehow, to trust the wisdom and guidance of this 6th century hermit solitary whose name somehow came to mind a few weeks ago, and whose book seems to be helping with the spiritual unraveling of events and explanation of what this hermit is experiencing.

As for renunciation of the world, which is necessary for at least some hermits who aspire to union with God (as Jesus and others have taught and lived), John Climacus makes the point that it is not a renunciation of the world due to the passions or of running away from it, but rather it is the desire to come closer to God in order to love more and attain life within His Real Presence to an ultimate degree.

And that, however, requires the death of the passions, which includes anger and frustration, pride, and various other aspects of the thoughts and emotions that can trip us and entangle us in the renunciation process.  Yet, the world and its increasing obstacles and pitting the soul with roadblocks of complexities, memories, desires of comfort, status or whatever all else--contains with it embers of growing disgust which does help the solitary hermit or any with spiritual aspirations of desiring God.   The reality of the hot embers will assist the hermit in  renouncing or dousing them.  The soul then can better develop an unhindered desire and will to go toward the object of its heart's and soul's desiring:  His Real Presence--Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

...our act of renunciation is not for empty honor.  Exile is a separation from everything, in order that one may hold on totally to God.  It is a chosen route of great grief.  An exile is a fugitive, running from all....  Do not wait for souls enamored of the world when you are pressing on towards solitude and exile....Anyone telling you he can combine these yearnings [even of family, of the world] is deceiving himself.  "No one can serve two masters" [Matt. 6:24].

The words, the guidance, at times seems painfully harsh, even wrong.  Yet, we cannot deny the very life of Jesus and how He lived on earth any more than we can deny the holy souls that the Church has canonized over the centuries, whose lives were lived to a certain ideal, no matter the difficult deaths involved along the way.  [Am not referring to physical death of the earthly body, but of the many mental, emotional, and spiritual types of dying that occur in increasingly painful aspects.  Rather, the deaths are of the soul being purified and emptied in order to come to conformity of love in spiritual perfection, union with Christ and in His will, not that of our own.]

When a man has renounced the world and still returns to its affairs or draws near to it, he will either fall into its snares or will defile his heart with thoughts of it.  These are strong and difficult words to most of us.  Yet Climacus also adds that even if a person becomes uncorrupted, if he begins to hold contempt for others who are corrupted by the world, then he will join them in their corruption.

In the spiritual ascent, there is no room for pride or self-righteousness, nor for judging others who are not on the same path or who are called to some other level or pace of climbing the holy mountain.  At least that is what this nothing Catholic hermit concludes from the reading and praying thus far, and the living of life.  

Climacus also gives sound advice on getting caught up in dreams.  He recommends not paying much attention to those especially that leave a person in despair or conversely in some kind of pride.  It is important, or so this nothing Catholic hermit has concluded in its 63 years on earth and many dreams, that the discernment of spirits and of the effect of dreams, is rather a critical skill to learn.  Climacus mentions dreams that lead to fantasizing, and those are easy enough to pick off--if we are honest with ourselves.

As for this hermit's own dreams, such as the one in which Jesus told it He was very pleased when the hermit, over 19 years ago asked if it was truly God's will that it become a Catholic.  Had the hermit dismissed that dream and locution, it would not have converted to Catholicism.  The dream gave the hermit courage to follow through with being confirmed in the Church, even though the actual suffering and sorrows of its life have multiplied many times over as a result of that conversion.

An example of a dream that can lead to fantasizing, is one this hermit had a couple nights ago.  It dreamed it had won the lottery, and a huge amount, at that!  The dream was so real that upon waking, the hermit was working out in its mind (fantasizing), who it could possibly trust to help it deal with so much money.  What financial person, what attorney?  It decided upon two trusted ones, and then considered how it could have some kind of outreach to help the world with the funds.  

Soon it was thinking what a cross to bear, and how many people would misuse the funds, or those people who had not been loyal would be considering themselves as good friends to the hermit, after all!  But mostly, the hermit considered being able to walk away from this hermitage, and to hire someone to finish it and donate it to a single mother or to some group so it could be a hermitage experience if anyone wanted. 

Another night the hermit had a dream of looking at a house, dated but yet livable, with the thought of purchasing and moving there.  It was not a house it had seen in this life, but in the dream there were some drawbacks in practical ways, but the hermit was wanting to just have a place that is neat, clean and functional.  Then it realized it did not have any means to buy it or to move there.  A person from the hermit's past who has a husband and has financial security, popped into the dream and was making herself very confident and rather triumphant that they were going to buy the house, and even mentioned some famous, wealthy person who owned the house next to it!

So, we see how such dreams as these reflect the hermit's current weariness and desire to flee temporal hardship as well as the dying it is facing on many levels.  See how the fantasizing can enter in?  All the same, when the hermit noticed in civilization that a lottery amount was over the high amount in the one dream, it--God forgive and have mercy!--purchased a ticket!  This nothing Catholic hermit is not nearly ready to renounce the world, at least not nearly to the degree necessary for holiness!

One must keep a sense of humor and be without guile in admitting its weaknesses.  Yes, perhaps this hermit has not the will nor the desire enough to rise into greater death in order to be brought through the mourning into the laughter of the heart.  But, it will still pray for such desire and strength of will.  As the hermit mentioned to the adult daughter, it does take much faith and trust in what holy people have written and what Jesus says in Scriptures, to let go of what the world tells us.  That can include the Christian world which in certain mindsets, highlights the softer and easier parts of Jesus' teachings and life.  His mercy and love are truth, but the reality of unrepentant sin and its consequences are truth, as well.

And, as to another note on dreams, had the hermit not dismissed some of them, it would not have ended up in such a terrible location with the previous neighbors of which the hermit was warned in a dream, the night before the house foundation was to be laid.  Could have gotten out of that one!  Yet, more often than not, the warnings at other times have come more after the fact.  It is more as if the Lord allows the rose-colored glasses to remain long enough to get the hermit to where He wills it, even though it is going to mean much suffering.  But He has the hermit planted in its new place of assignment for prayer and some soul or other to be helped before the hermit realizes the cost; otherwise the hermit would be like Jonah and try avoiding Ninevah....

Enough of all this.  There is more to share of John Climacus' guidance which always flows from and adheres to Scripture.  There is good to share about why ponder death and how that will help the soul to not sin as much.  There is good to share about mourning and tears.   There is good to share about the differing paths of the theologian compared to the hermit.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another and remain in His Love!

[Note:  This laptop has yet again had its same old issues, and for the fourth time is going into repair.  It is allowed and willed by God--yes such a detail in the temporal for God is in all details--and probably good for this hermit to have a break from as much internet or writing.  Will attempt writing on an iPad.  Yes, at some point, will the good Lord help this hermit all the more detach from words?]

A Cancer?

A friend emailed, stating that another online blogger is "a cancer" to this nothing Catholic hermit.  Others have noted the differing styles of writing, the differing paths in the hermit vocation, and they are angered by many of the suggestions made, the slights, the insults, the negative inferences toward their friend.  They come up with reasons why this person would behave in such manner, none too positive.

Of course, the hermit's friends want others to see this nothing hermit as they do, knowing it as they perceive it.  But their perceptions, even if personal knowledge over years, can be skewed.  There is nothing quite like having a persistent critic, for otherwise a hermit (or anyone) can feel just too fine and dandy about itself.

However, the nothing hermit responded to the friend's comment that the other person is a cancer, not doing any good.  But nothing Catholic hermit has come to love this other person, for it has come to grasp how beneficial to be put down, defiled, defamed, de-whatever'd.  Rather, this hermit is the cancer to that other one.  Why and how?

Well, this hermit has obviously gotten under the skin of the other to the point of causing frustration, irritation, repetitive refuting.  Someone even commented the other wrote about wanting to physically shake this nothing Catholic hermit, not that there is much of worth or substance to shake.

Nothing Catholic hermit explained the love it holds for this other person, for if nothing negative about the nothing hermit is written, implied, inferred--there would not be the examination of conscience nor the self-questioning, nor the opportunity to experience what Christ and all the spiritual masters of the past centuries say is a blessing, a means of spiritual growth.

In fact, in yet another step described by John Climacus in The Ladder of Divine Ascent, a positive function of hermits or religious living among one another, such as in a monastery, or those who live with two or three others, is that of providing insults, slights, challenges, trials, and confrontation to one they find irritating for whatever reason.

In this nothing Catholic hermit's case, the Lord has called this hermit, for now, upon a path of intense solitude and silence.  The days can be met with tremendous trials of utmost frustration, of temptations to hopelessness, of feelings of being repeatedly raped by those in the world who have taken advantage financially and in working situations.  In such conditions, also, if all went well, the mind would turn toward pride and feelings that it had somehow achieved some level of goodness or holiness.  

There is no one physically here in Te Deum Hermitage to provide the criticism that can be of such benefit!  There is no one physically here to deride and doubt this nothing Catholic hermit's vocation, or mental status, or pain level, or spiritual experiences, or sinfulness.  So, having another, from a distance, provide the criticisms, doubts and questioning, is just what this nothing Catholic hermit needs!

That is why it is so thankful and blessed, and feels the criticisms well-deserved.  For one thing, this nothing hermit expresses its life in candor, as a type of case-study, a chronicle of its life as a consecrated Catholic religious eremitic.  Sometimes, the life chronicle can be filled with current despairs, or demonic trickery and assaults, or consolations, or self-doubts, or spiritual gifts, or exultations of love of His Real Presence.

The review and criticism by another is a welcomed asset in the hermit's spiritual life.  For another thing, it assists with humility and the reality that a hermit ought never be assured of its being secure on the narrow path, or on the narrow path at all.  

Consecrated eremiticism is a vocation of unique and individualized training and leading by His Real Presence; and perhaps the best one can do is to expect the unexpected, and that includes suffering as well as all the trials that the books of the hermit saints of yore have written and left for us as helps along the way.  

Yes, by these classic writings of those holy by learned, wise, and earned experience, we can better identify that we are not experiencing anything worse or different or better than any other who God has called to the solitary life of praise, prayer, and penance, in deep and abiding love of Him and all His creation.

That this nothing Catholic hermit is the awful cancer to the other, is yet another indication of how dreadfully this nothing presents its thoughts and experiences.  It is true that the writing in this blog leaves much to be desired, and it pales to others' writing, and especially to others' virtuous and vocational lives.  But that is all part of the journey, for this hermit here, who feels sorry that it has become a cancer to the other, as it has been a cancer to people of the past--evidently an annoyance to priests, parishioners, family members, friends, and strangers!

The nothing Catholic hermit never intends to be a cancer, nor to get under the skin of others, and does not realize its cancerous effect until pointed out by others, or is told by the persons themselves sickened by this nothing Catholic hermit.  

However, all that can be offered is an apology, but also a debt of gratitude, for without others despising and trying to correct by criticism or any other means, this nothing Catholic hermit's flaws, a major element of spiritual growth would be lacking.

In the next step that John Climacus describes on the ladder to holiness, that of realizing and accepting that one deserves all the ill will and trials it receives, is explained as a necessary good.  Love can seem tough; love can seem as if it hurts.  


Those who feel called to chastise, question, and criticize others are sincerely fulfilling their good work of providing a form of chemotherapy on the likes of this (or any) cancerous, nothing Catholic hermit.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another and remain in His Love! 

Guidance from a Solitary Hermit and Bits on Exile

In reading more of John Climacus' The Ladder of Divine Ascent, this hermit is blessed with pertinent guidance in daily life here in the hermitage.

Returned from two days in civilization (all went well, allowing love to take over).  Learned that the one remaining family unit, although they live a distance already, may be moving.  This possibility reminds this hermit that the temporal passes easily, and the Lord allows changes which are all very good for those seeking Him in each detail.

John Climacus (6th c. solitary hermit) describes three levels or types of religious.  The first are those who live among many others, such as in a monastery.  (In our current times, this could include hermits who are more interactive in parishes, work in public jobs, and are generally known in and for their hermit vocations.)

The second are those who live with two or three others who are seeking God in a more focused, spiritual solitude.  (Today, this could include those who live together in a house, or in a small monastery with laura-type apartments or individual cabins.)

The third type or way is a hermit who is more isolated from others, and experiences vast amounts of silence and stillness.  Climacus himself was of this way of eremitic existence, and describes such a hermit as a solitary, one who lives alone, not with others. (Such a hermit in current times would embrace a more austere existence, face rigorous physical and spiritual trials, yielding growth, but who also may be more criticized by others in a world of increased and rapid communication, technology, and value placed in material and action-oriented success.)

Climacus ascribes the term hesychia to one who does not approach this third level of solitude but is more of the first two types.  He terms as a "solitary" or a "hermit", one who is of the third type--very much immersed in solitude and stillness to a higher degree than the other two categories.

_______________________
  

Climacus devotes the third step of the divine ascent to emphasizing the point and value of exile.  The solitary hermit must enter into this mode which Climacus describes as an irrevocable renunciation of all to which one has become comfortable, attached, used to, in one's familiar surroundings...and which hinders the soul from the ideal of holiness.  

Climacus is not one for extremism.  Although to some, including perhaps the first type of religious who lives among many people and interacts more frequently with what is familiar and in the world, if even the world of the church or monastery, his thoughts on exile might seem extreme. They are not, however, at least not to the degree of following Christ to which a solitary hermit type desires, and to that of union with God.  Climacus wisely states, though, that not every form of exile is good if taken to extremes in ways that are not led by God or without discretion.

The description of exile:  a separation from everything in order that one may hold on totally to God.  It is a chosen route of great grief.  An exile is a fugitive, running from all relationships with his own relatives and with strangers.  

Advice for the hermit solitary who desires the ideal comes, but he describes the traits of God's grace that come through the effort:  a disciplined heart, unheralded wisdom, an unpublicized understanding, a hidden life, masked ideals....

[Exile] is unseen meditation, the striving to be humble, a wish for poverty, longing for what is divine.  It is an outpouring of love, a denial of vainglory, a depth in silence.

As for advice to those who take the narrow path of exile:  Do not wait for souls [who are] enamored with the world when you are pressing on towards solitude and exile.  In any case, death [to self, to the world] comes when least expected.  Many set themselves the aim of rescuing the indifferent and the lazy--and end up lost themselves....Not all of us are summoned to rescue others.

And this, on detachment:  Detachment is good and its mother is exile.  Someone withdrawing from the world for the sake of the Lord is no longer attached to possessions that he should not be deceived by the passions.  If you have left the world, then do not begin to reach out for it.  Otherwise your passions will come back to you....

A true exile, despite his possession of knowledge, sits like someone of foreign speech among men of other tongues.

This gives a glimpse of but one small section of the thirty "rungs" or steps of the ladder to God.

What it evokes for this hermit is much assistance in what is currently being experienced in daily life.  It is not the withdrawal from relationships, as that has occurred quite naturally and without this hermit having to do the parting.  It is more the additional descriptions of the most solitary of the types of hermits, which are so very helpful. 

Climacus describes the throes of adaptation, quite aptly!  He writes of the pitfalls, of God allowing the devil to try to draw the soul back out into more active duty among men, even of the good works of active Christians, and appeals to pride in souls that would have them think they are something rather than nothing.

________________


There is so much more, but just today, when very cold in here, the body did not want to get out of what warmth the bed and a small space heater provide.  Yet, the inner spirits began seeking distractions, and it began to ponder just how solitary is the solitary life, and even a dream had dangled financial aspects of the world in a fantasy way.  

This hermit was just about to think itself back into what-if's of life in the outer world, even of the good aspects of the temporal church. But the grass was too high, and the days are numbered for weather good enough to mow it.  Just then, in another section of his guide, Climacus mentioned that solitaries needed to have a pile of palms nearby so that they would fight off temptations in thought, by working in weaving mats.

Two-and-a-half hours later, the grass here was mowed, and a silent, solitary, but stilled and thought-stabilized hermit came back to the warmer room in the hermitage, and thanked God for John Climacus who is evidently accepting this hermit's request that he be the spiritual guide for now.

The book is so good, that when the hermit received a rare phone call this evening from a friend, John Climacus' writing became a topic.  The woman and her husband live the second type of religious that Climacus describes, although they have not taken vows other than as oblates.  But their life circumstances have them as two monks living apart from the world other than her work editing a religious, online publication.   

She mentioned how, with her husband ill much of the time, that the silence gets to her, so she wears a headset with ear buds so that she can listen to some news or other programs. Yes, she said the silence becomes too intense for her, day in and day out, even though her husband may be in the next room, sleeping.  

This hermit admitted that it is a process, the adaptation to some of the pulling away in order to draw toward His Real Presence in a depth we'd never thought, through a narrow gate of which we'd read in Scripture but not fathomed how narrow it can be in the unfolding of actuality.

She would like the book.  Am going to send a copy to her.  They both will find help in their daily lives and spiritual lives, for they are seeking the ideal of holiness, as well, even if not consecrated religious of the eremitic life.

This hermit here has so much to learn, and most of it by hard experience.  Praise His Real Presence!  God bless His Real Presence in us, and let us love one another, little children.  Remain in His Love!