The pain is lifting some, although it never goes away. It is all good, for the body rests while the mind, heart and soul rest in His Real Presence and gain perspective, refreshment.
Have written to some spiritual friends, some thoughts, and answers to some of their questions, and gratitude for some of their marvelous insights.
Reflected upon the spiritual father reminding that the family members have their own issues and troubles, their relationships and lives to address. Yes, this is so.
Today was also reminded of some times in which this nothing had not been so thoughtful of its own mother. Wept and apologized, soul to soul, today at one point. It is a blessing to weep in remorse and to know the other hears and grasps, forgives and loves for where the other is, is more light than what we here experience on any given day. Jesus has mercy!
Later shared e-laughter with a message to a friend of 53 years whose insights are cherished. Christianity and lives lived are a good basis for encouraging one another. The friend emailed that am well experienced with handling pain of all types. This nothing responded that we in our lives had our years, our times and places, to become adults, to be spouses, parents, friends and to do it in the way that seemed right to us then.
Did we ever criticize or think our parents were not quite as trendy or adept as us, when we were in our pride-stride in our twenties and thirties--healthy, privileged, successful, good-looking, educated, and surely (in our minds) wise beyond our years? This nothing certainly did, mostly in reaction to things said, or in thoughts. Ah, how smart we were...not.
Well, we each--the friend and this nothing--had our physical health compromised about the same time. The friend through a stress-related, debilitating virus that affected immune system, heart, and left chronic pain and fatigue. The nothing through a debilitating car accident, divorce, surgeries from which there was no return to life in the world and career and with children as it had been. We were in our early thirties. Mercifully, we were humbled and saved some of the finding our places, climbing the world's ladder.
But yes, this nothing recognizes that others who criticize and snap at times, are signaling they need more space, or that they have stressed, or that they have desires for their own lives that have to do with their peers, and others who are in their current places of career and parenting and being wives and husbands. It is all understandable. And this nothing's role is to love unconditionally and to pray and to serve--this latter when asked and when wise and prudent to do so.
God bless His Real Presence in us! Little children, let us love one another, as we are all little children; and let us love God, for He Is Love.