Christian Catholic Hermit Mystic: On Love, Pray, and Forgive (and more!)

 

I haven't posted much on social media in awhile, other than responding with likes and hearts and hopefully encouraging comments to what others post, but I do want to share that I had a major turn around 12 days ago. The knee pain is so horrible and no one willing to do anything about it, and I was the only one researching and asking for this or that procedure which I've read will help even if temporarily, like injections that can soften the hard fibrotic growth that has covered me knee and hardened now, and injections also are known to reduce the pain.

That has been refused; the surgeon has a serious fear of infections. That is why I was not allowed to go to a Medicare-full-paid rehab facility after the knee replacement surgery. I had a PT the surgeon sent who did not recognize or claims he didn't know about arthrofibrosis post-op; the surgeon's PA did not recognize it, either. My pain doctor has tossed it back to the surgeon who he knows does not want to bother with it, but the pain doctor does not want to, either. (And he shouldn't have to, except that in past he has helped me when bad things have happened.).

The only thing the surgeon will do is send me for yet more PT, after the other PT's said nothing to be done; they showed me many stretches I'm to keep doing through out the day for however long my earthly bodily duration. I'm to go for deep tissue knee massage, said the surgeon to the pain doctor. The surgeon has not even seen nor touched my knee since June 20, the day of the knee replacement surgery. There is no way anyone can massage the hard stone that is my knee. I'll go, but the frustration level shot up, the anger and darkness and sadness and ugliness pervaded to a point that the Holy Spirit reached in those 12 days ago. He turned me around, placed me on a far better path.

In addition to Love and Pray (what I've been reminded to do in other situations ongoing that are unjust, persecutorial, sorrowful, and unkind), I was told to FORGIVE! Forgiveness is so crucial in addition to love and pray for others and for situations themselves--and I know this, and you all know this! But I didn't really, really know it, not know it deep down in the fullness of my soul as it needs to be known, felt, an enacted. The shift was within two or three minutes. I have the needed ingredients for traversing the rest of this life and into the next of which Love, Pray, and Forgive are learned if not already, or an automatic "breath and heartbeat" if not.

So I've been existing on Love, Pray, and Forgive ever since. Then, of course, there are the temporal whammies, just little things that present themselves like should I send a card or not, or when I've been told my social media comments aren't acceptable, don't have the proper "social media vibe" so I'm not to comment, not even short and positive ones because they are "different", there is that adaptation to letting go of social media, definitely not to leave comments for those who are bothered by mine. So more Love, Pray, and Forgive.

One must consider all in life--situations and persons--with the lens of pray, love, and forgive. But also, one must consider the temporal-spiritual aspects of "who". Who is it that God desires for us in this life? Who tolerates us, who accepts us as we are and for what we have to offer? This means, even if we are gimped and grumped with severe, non-stop pain, or we cannot be active, or we perceive in ways not seemingly the societal norm but yet accurate, can be thoughtful, insightful....

This means, who is it that God desires for us, who accepts or tolerates us--in a way that we don't have to cease to be or do who and what we are and how God created us, unless it is that which is best for us to cease being or doing. However, when another is bothered enough to make requests of negation or who view us negatively as odd or weird, or think we over think, or find this or that in us that needs to change (or says we are demonically oppressed)--are these persons enjoying us, comfortable with us, or do we frustrate them, cause them to fear we will embarrass them or to what their friends might think of us?

Are these persons like the apostle John, listening to us, standing at the foot of our crosses, or do they seem to wish and prefer we be made in their own image, or an image of what they deem acceptable or per society or social media's tolerated image of acceptability, of social and their view of "normality"?

This brings us to bridges, and burning or not burning them. I recall a vision dream years ago in which I was shown a burning. bridge, and I was told that some bridges are worth being burned. Burning a bridge sometimes is invaluable in that it keeps us from going back over when it is better we never go back again. But burning bridges also brings up the point of who burns the bridge? Is it one of the persons making conditions of relationship, criticizing the other, wishing without maybe consciously realizing that the other is frustrating to be around or know?

Or is the bridge burner the one who doesn't conform to the wishes or image the other wants in his or her relationships? And again, maybe some bridges are better off being burned regardless of who lights the match or who is the wood being lit?

We now come to sifting the ashes. What remains if we do not accept or cannot tolerate others for varying reasons? Does it matter? Persons come and go in relationships as well as in the temporal world; people die, one after another. On the other side, out of the ashes come souls who are shown truth, beauty, and goodness.

The showing then leads to learning. We learn we are to love, learn to prayer, learn we are forgiven; we learn how to love those who didn't fit into our scheme of social norms. we learn to pray to accept what it is we could not change; we learn that it does not matter that everyone perceives or is in our own likeness and image, or that they frustrated us because we could not control how they were. We learn be loved, and we learn to LOVE to learn to love, and then we love others with this love which when we love as God loves, we are loving with God's love.

We learn to forgive--forgive ourselves and to forgive these others because they couldn't make themselves be as we wanted them to be, in our image of normal or successful or calm or at peace or light-hearted or more serious, or whatever it is our image of normal and right they were not. We forgive them because we recognize how God forgives us--without conditions.

As for social media or temporal friendships, those will read or post what is wanted and which fits whatever image based upon the person who posts it. Those who don't like it because it is too long or too deep or does not fit the "social media vibe" can block the unacceptable-to-them poster's posts. Or, the poster can recognize and can share thoughts and insights on any number of other media options.

Or not. As for people as in acquaintances and friendships, there is always God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit as well as manifold holy personages existing on the other side with free-access to us any moment day or night. They exist as we ought--in the Order of the Present Moment. They love to help us find our way through this life and hopefully to exist here also as in eternity, if we are so inclined.

There is no one more perfect a friend than is Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit. Just depends upon strength of faith as to the degree of reality these personages exists as a true friend in need and in deed. We do not have to be concerned, for example, about Jesus being bothered about our comments seemingly "different." His words and insights were deemed that, was called worse, called "crazy." Jesus therefore understands those of us who have been thus called. Jesus will never burn a bridge with us, and if we are finding in Jesus a true love, there is never a need, not even a temptation, to burn bridges with Him.

Bottom line, if someone finds himself a sign of consternation to others on earth, no worries--he or she will be welcomed by the souls on the other side who are always with us, eager for friendship and conversation, of sharing their insights and holy lives with us.

If the folks in this world are frustrated or find us unappealing, cannot tolerate or accept when there is no actual means to altar our minds, hearts, and souls or our temporal, bodily conditions, expand the bounds of relationships when in essence the the temporalites are burning bridges with us by their choosing, and pick up with those who already know how to pray, love, and forgive and are into building bonds with those who can perceive beyond what constrains others here and now.

This blog post (and blog in general) is a totally non-vibe, non-acceptable social media whatever. Guaranteed not many will read it due to length if not other criticisms. I'm not into burning any bridges, but I've learned to let the bridges out there bring those who are interested in such as me, to walk over on the various media modalities available.

And I lovingly welcome those who have a need or desire to burn bridges with me, to do so. This aspect is a newly arrived gift just this morning, from God to me. Those who find me not to their total liking need to be freed from frustrations and worries, exasperations and embarrassments they perceive and maybe rightly so, that such as myself can cause them in the wilds of the temporal world.

God is forming me; God is progressing me and perfecting me in His way and time, considering God recognizes and accepts my imperfections as He's developing me as He wills. He's doing that with anyone who wants and asks, even if they have as many flaws as myself.

Life becomes much easier, the path less ugly, dark, and fiery when we learn to love to love, pray, and forgive. (And there may be more key words added to this initial list, but these are basic and essentials. Plus, there is no time chart nor chains involved once one steps off the bridge, so to speak, so that others don't have a need to burn it out from under us or keep us from walking over to interact with them.

Catholic Hermit Still Around...

Been very tired recently--working hard, praying much, striving to manage pain.

The Catholic deputy has sold their home and moving so that he and his family can attend a valid Catholic parish with licit Mass.  Found out this priest in area parish will be around another year or two.  Yet it does not change the parishioners' attitudes, for what happens to people when set in ways and wills?  Ran out the previous priest for being too spiritual, wanting adoration and the like.  Imagine that!

Yes, am very tired.  People do not return phone calls.  A friend from far away mentioned it is due to people texting rather than speaking.  For those of us with very old phones and not able to text, and not affording the costly plans of the more costly phones, makes life difficult such as trying to get helpers and workers for even minor tasks.

Would like to write some on a topic that is going to be meaningful tomorrow especially.  It is the 20th anniversary of a major mystical event--and probably very good that this consecrated Catholic hermit ponder it and remember the details.  It was in easier, more pleasant, lovelier time of life--still much pain in the body, but without the seeming hopelessness that comes at times, to pick at the fruit of whatever positive the hermit can ripen in the physical aspects of this existence.  (The birds have been plucking whatever fruit they can get once the hermit leaves the orchard area--still trying to get the bird netting in place even if they figured a way to pull away the netting over the strawberries!)

Perhaps this hermit needs to ponder the perseverance of these birds and pray for like perseverance, an instinctive perseverance, and without emotion of relationships and no need of return phone calls because no need for help with work.  Birds build their own nests, after all, and if they cannot manage it, they succumb to the reason they cannot--broken wing, illness, old age, pestilence, predators.

Now, on that note, must go out and change the sprinklers and soaker hose.  And then finish another wheelbarrow of mulch, and then get to the bird netting.  So much for the fake owl purchased at suggestion of clerk who said it really works.  Did seem to help keep the birds from returning to area of roof in which they previously could enter into Te Deum Hermitage; but they are undaunted by it when there is fruit to be scavenged.

Yes, this hermit needs some of that rather bold and ruthless energy and determination.  Please, Lord!

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, remain in His Love, and kindly be polite to others and return phone messages.  It is the charitable action; not everyone has texting capabilities, and even hermits need help now and then.  Birds do seem to work together, at times.

Who the Lord Approves: Reminder to Humility and Reverence

Sometimes His Living Word leaps into our minds and hearts.  This morning in the Divine Office, these words of Isaiah 66:2 penetrate as profound reminder of what His Real Presence desires of us, of whom and of what disposition He approves.

"This is the one whom I approve:
the lowly and afflicted man who trembles at My Word."

It boils down to being humble and reverent (fear, awe of the Lord, of His Word).

Today is my final few hours in civilization.  The body has reacted to weather and just the wear and tear of driving, feeling ill and achy and thus tired.  The mind and heart pray for a good attitude, a cheerful disposition, or at least one that is cooperative in His will and agreeable to returning to the most difficult living conditions ever in a life of over 63 years.

Circumstances can provide us with "lowly and afflicted," and for that we can praise God.  It is not that this hermit sought out the circumstances.  No, it had done the research, prayed, and hoped for a wise move and functional living situation.  It was not expecting to be duped, although prior to the final move, there was a sense of foreboding.

Lately, reading more of the saints and their writings, it makes marvelous sense that this hermit who so desires to have union with Christ, would at least mentally make a connection with the temporal poverty that was Jesus' while on this earth.

There has been progress!  When the rats found access spots to enter the hermitage recently, this hermit did not "freak out."  Yes, it was a bit disappointing after the efforts to secure the perimeter with bait stations; but after all, the weather is changing to chilly, and the desert is filled with critters the same as is civilization.  But in the desert the critters are all more eremitic in nature, truly!  In civilization the critters include an abundance of humanity!

Stability is one of this hermit's Nine S', and in silent stability, with serenity, it sought out any holes or openings that resulted when all the walls and ceilings were gutted.  Rats can enter through a small hole of 3/4" or less.  Amazing, intelligent creatures, they are!  Unfortunately, they do not hesitate to chew wire, wood, or even plastic pipes (if water flowing through them).  Just a little more effort such as sliding under the old porch, and this hermit will mix mortar and seal off a few more openings into the crawl space.  

Like sin, rats (and weeds) can be kept out of one's life and mind, and out of one's dwelling.  It just takes some effort, a persevering attitude, a bit of humility in realizing that, yes, we, too, must deal with that which many, particularly the poor and lowly ones of the world, have to deal with in far worse circumstances. We also can praise God that He has created us, also, as intelligent beings, and we can utilize this intelligence in figuring out ways to eliminate sins, rats and weeds...or whatever menaces even if the trespassers do not consider themselves menaces at all.

We can live in awe and reverence of how His Real Presence reaches into our bodies, minds, hearts and souls in every day events.  He teaches us if we consider the many lessons and the love with which He instructs...sometimes with a technique currently termed "tough love."

Now this nothing Catholic hermit must pray for courage to gather its few personal items and its Breviary (Divine Office), and head back to the desert and Te Deum House/Hermitage.  It will be quite dark upon arrival, and the flashlight is upstairs; but thankfully there is a light near the front door, and the headlights of the used truck can shine enough to find the door.  It will be very cold since the heat was turned off--just a wall heater, but it is better than the dire circumstances of last year's fall and winter.  

Somehow, praying (or reading prayerfully) the various Hours of the Divine Office, has replenished a rhythm of peace and perseverance within this soul.  It is good that the young Catholic family the hermit met early last summer (bought the old stove) is a contact.  The husband is a sheriff's deputy.  

This hermit noticed that someone had been getting into the cellar, using the outdoor water hose, and that a few other small items outside where they had not been.  The deputy checked the hermitage a couple times while this hermit has been in civilization and noticed a worker the hermit had hired the summer before last.  That worker had been arrested  but is out of jail, awaiting trial for some burglaries. He now admitted to stealing from this hermit.

Bless the thief's heart.  He no doubt was trying to find shelter and water while the hermit was upstairs (prior to the journey into civilization) in not much better circumstances, but at least this hermit has a bed.  However, the deputy needs a statement, as the thief will be better off in jail than prowling and stealing.  There is small comfort that the prowler will have three meals a day, a shower, a toilet, a roof overhead and heat!  

This hermit (and any of you dear readers, please!) must pray for him, as he falls under the category of lowly and afflicted (drug problems plague him).  May he learn to tremble not at the sheriff deputies and judge, but tremble in awe and reverence of the Word, of His Real Presence.  

Jesus lived without a place to rest his head, passed through grain fields hungry and plucked enough to eat, and took shelter and drink in places invited and some not on chill desert nights.  (Consider His nights in the mountains, praying.)

From Isaiah's two-line reminder as to what, of us, the Lord approves, we can consider and pray for ourselves as well as those around us.  Pray for graces of lowliness and trembling at His Living Word, of trembling in awe of His Real Presence!