Was geared up to try to get out of bed today, to begin doing any of the overwhelming amount of work to be done in here. But am COLD! It is very cold in here, and to keep warm, stay in bed. Still am praying for the courage and energy, to try to dress in layers (wearing flannel pj's and sock hat and under three blankets), and to do anything physical. It will have to upstairs; downstairs is definitely too cold. Praise God that heat rises and does not waft out laterally!
This morning prayed Scriptures and Divine Office. All very good, of course, and up-lifting. St. Augustine's writings in Office of Readings is appropriate to current situation of body and soul.
Then read an online blog by a Catholic artist. Had not viewed it in three or so years. It is very clever, and intelligently written, has humor inserted and clever graphics. Clever seems to be the operative word. But clever left this nothing hermit all the more cold.
The blog depressed, and am not sure why other than the clever if not too-clever, too-brilliant, too-sure view: of others, of Church, of world, of self. All the clever and humorous and witty and pithy aspects somehow drained the spirit in this hermit, that had started to fill in from Scriptures and spiritual reading, prior. Perhaps, also, the other blogger's mention of aspects of temporal Catholic Church, clerics, and political parts therein, depleted what reservoir of faith and hope within this hermit who is struggling with harsh physical circumstances, and no one to whom to turn for assistance other than His Real Presence.
And the Trinity is the best One to be turning to, obviously. This hermit reflected upon persons, upon blog-writers, in general, and the elements of being entertaining, clever, of pedantic pontificating--along with bucketfuls of the temporal world and temporal church--and how they tend to douse this soul's fervor for the unitive way. It all seems to place the spiritual so far out of reach and reality, that the temporal in its clever disguises, places a pall over the soul itself.
Then, this nothing cold hermit considered its own blog, here, and wondered if there is anything of good or helpful mentioned with any humility, or if it attempts any of the too-clever and too-sure-of-itself aspects, or thinks it superior in knowledge and pontificating?
With that wondering horror, and not knowing if this blog reeks (or not) of what doused the spirit of this hermit this morning by viewing blogs out there in the cyberworld, it must force itself to rise from what warmth it has garnered under the covers. It must strip in order to dress in layers of blessed jeans and tops, folded and stored in a small laundry basket. This nothing hermit must do something, some kind of manual labor, for that and prayer are the main antidotes to despondency.
And in diagnosing despondency as a result of having viewed some blogs, the reason surely must be, at root, too much of the world inserted into them. The world is not evil in itself. But the world is not heaven. And when cleverness and self-assuredness of and in the world (even of and maybe especially of the church) become overbearing and in contradiction to the way of the Cross, and the humility of Jesus, then it is too much world, too little heavenly fresh air, too few, hopeful steps up God's holy mountain.
And this nothing Catholic hermit's blog may not be, either, less of the world and not near enough of climbing gear. And, it may not touch others, or it may have the same effect as the other blogs had on this hermit's soul, this morning. Yet we keep writing, us bloggers, and obviously hope to touch others for whatever reasons, if not also to try to touch ourselves, to uproot our lack, and thereby to try to touch the heart of God.
What His Real Presence drains, His Real Presence will fill.
God bless His Real Presence in us! Little children, let us love one another as God loves, and be humbled, ourselves, in His love, remain in His love.