Catholic Hermit: Silence, Solitude--Some Books

I got up a bit ago and quickly jotted down some books I noted from my bookshelves.  Not all my books are unpacked, and various of the old books have sections in them on topics such as silence and solitude pertaining to hermits, prayer, contemplative and monastic life, and the spiritual life.  I might add to this list when I'm feeling better and have more "standing" endurance with the spinal pain, to look through the titles more carefully.  But here's a start of books which focus mainly on the two topics pertinent to hermits:  silence of solitude.  Formative reading material, all!

At One with God,  Leclerc, Jean-Louis

The Contemplative Life,  Leclerc, Jean-Louis

The Call of Silent Love,  A Carthusian

The Way of Silent Love,   A Carthusian

They Speak By Silences,  A Carthusian

Contemplative Life,  A Carthusian

Where Silence is Praise,  A Carthusian

The Prayer of Love and Silence,  A Carthusian

The Hermitage Within,  A Monk

Listening to Silence,  Lockhart, Bruce

Solitude and Communion:  Papers on the Carthusian Life,  Attchil, ed.

The Interior Life,  Tissot, J.

Thoughts in Solitude,  Merton, Thomas

Catholic Hermit: Encircling Wall of Fire

Quite rough, the night.  
The pain burns as fire.  
In the silence of solitude 
with but the ice pump's hum and water tricklings, 
nothing could I do 
but remain still, on my back, 
pillows under knees, blankets layered. 
I cling to God.

Nothing I could be but 
remain so deeply in love with God, 
remain Jesus' beloved, 
remain in the Holy Spirit's 
encircling wall of fire.  

The prophet Zechariah speaks
through then to now the reality; 
God's being is among us,
His being in us. 
God inflames my heart:

But I will be for her an encircling wall of fire, says the LORD,
and I will be the glory in her midst."

The love within me for God is 
full-fledged fire within fire.  
The Lord encircles me here, now, 
still on the bed, on icy pad, covers blanketing 
mortal body ensconcing my immortal soul.  

He encircles me as a wall of fire burning 
the fire of my body's pain, the pain of which 
years ago He explained that the very point of 
lower spine is the opening by which His Holy Spirit 
enters and flows as neon in a circle-eight.

God flows, is infinity, forever 
from without to within, 
from within to without, 
my body and my soul of which,
of whom, He loves so very much.

Then spoke the Lord through Zechariah,
for her an encircling, fiery wall. 
Here now the Lord my God,
His protective wall of fire
inflames the ashes,
the mortal pain of love.

God is the fire that burns debilitating, 
enabling my mind, heart, 
my soul accepting, receiving
flaming fire, God's love in silence, 
beyond thought, image, sense.

The Lord assures He will be the glory in my midst.
He and I, in our midst this fire, 
God's Being 
for me, His fire in me, 
encircling wall of fire.  

The morning glory of our midst, 
the pain yet burns encircling fire,
our silence in our solitude
with but ice pump's hum and water tricklings,
to God I respond,
My Love, my Love, my only Love; 
The cross, the cross, and only the cross.

Catholic Hermit Been Praying and Working

The past week, this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit has been working on the hermitage bathroom and praying.  The thought has come of just how skilled and focused and hard-working are those who build.  I've thought much of St. Joseph and Jesus--all those in history of nations and civilization who figured out how to construct not just edifices but thoughts, words, art, music, and the spiritual life.

Yes, we build our spiritual lives.  We construct in certain order, in ways that sometimes we do not understand and by trial and error.  But we learn from the Holy Spirit as to how to listen, to pray, to proceed in our journeys in this life, this world, and on into eternity.

Today I had to figure out how to wire electrical light fixtures.  My son-in-law had started one of two in the bathroom, but the box that is nailed into the stud behind the drywall wobbled a little.  He became discouraged and evidently was not familiar with that type of box that is nailed to one side or the other of an upright wall stud.  Yes, one side could be pressed in slightly.

However, once the back plate is screwed in and the wires attached properly, and the fixture screwed into the back plate, the wall itself acts as a solid stabilizer.  He somehow could not grasp that on the day he tried.  I think he has mostly done ceiling fixtures with mounting boxes that are secured differently to ceiling joists and do not have any "give" on one side or the other.

So I thought about how my son-in-law has learned to wire light fixtures and realized that there is no reason why I should not be able to do it.  It takes courage, though, and courage comes with prayer and confidence in the Lord.  With faith, I started in, reading instructions and beginning the process of hanging the second light fixture.  

Of course, there were glitches.  There seem always to be in this old hermitage.  The electrical box was not flush with the drywall.  I called Mark, the electrician.  He said to use spacers to bring the face plate out so it would be more flush with the drywall.  It was not at all easy to get the spacers behind the screws and all secured in the proper place, with the mounting screws for the fixture, then, being aligned so that the light would hang straight on the wall.

I had to call Mark yet again with another question, and while asking the question, the answer came clear.  He laughed; I laughed.  A lot of these matters simply take doing and checking in with someone other who has more than ample experience.

And so, too, with our souls and the spiritual life.  Yet we must pray for courage and have faith that we can step forward in our seeking His Real Presence and that we will find Him always, with us and us with and in Him.  Sometimes we call upon a spiritual friend or spiritual director; or we read a book written by a spiritual master, tried and proven over time to be one who has reached divine union or nearly so while on yet on this earth.

Always, we can call upon Jesus and His apostles.  We can call upon the Blessed Mother, Mary.  We can call upon the Holy Spirit and God the Father of all beingness.  We can turn to the directions we are given in the Scriptures.  No matter the challenge or new skill or task or step we are encountering in our spiritual lives and growth, we do have the directions given us in the Living Word, the Bible.

The past few weeks, the Lord has been communicating more, reminding me of specific persons needing prayer.  It has become uncanny--truly miraculous. But why should that surprise us?  He desires to utilize us, and when enough of the distractions are tucked away and out of mind, our minds and hearts and souls are more open to listening in the silence of solitude.

If we do not see or hear the inner images or inner words and detect what He wishes of us, be assured His Real Presence will repeat His will in similar or other formats.  That has been the case, lately, and He makes sure if I miss the cues, that I get them even if the person needing prayer ends up contacting through temporal means.  But mostly, lately, He has let me know in ways that I grasp, and when a temporal contact comes along, the message had already been received.

Perhaps I may share some of these aspects with you sometime, my dear friends, dear blog readers.  I'm sure you will have many such similar, but it might also help as a reminder to expect His promptings and messages.  When they come, we must snatch them and act upon them with increasing faith and confidence in prayer and word and deed.

Tomorrow the daughter and son-in-law are going to come quite early to this hermitage.  They've not been here for some time; it is a trek out of civilization to arrive here.  We are going to set the toilet in the bathroom!  The slate floor is in place, grouted and sealed.  The tub that was set last summer now has all the tiling, grout, and sealant completed.  The window trim is cut, sanded, primed, painted, nailed and caulked.  (Yes, I did all the boards for the window wrap and casings in opposite order.  Craig explained that is why I had difficulties with gaps.  Now I know better for all the other windows.)

In our temporal lives and in our spiritual lives, we may do well to keep in mind that we are always learning.  We make mistakes.  We might pray and listen but miss the cues.  So we pray and listen some more, and we ask others in our lives who have experiences we have not yet encountered.  That is how it is in life. 

It has come to me in the silence of solitude and in the failures and successes, that some people learn a skill that they use repeatedly and become rather expert.  Others learn bits and pieces of skills in more generalized form and use.  Some are specialists, others are generalists.  We all are journeying together, even if some more in physical solitude and others more in active interactions or groupings. 

Such as with this old hermitage, we learn in various modalities.  Yet we find we are learning various aspects of experiences and lessons and skills enough--to be humbled enough--to praise God for the miracle of it all!  

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit Continues Manual Labor, Praying

Have appreciated the daily Mass Scripture readings.  The Lord speaks to us in His Living Word!

Although am physically weary from pain, age, and life efforts, I will continue today with the praying while laboring around the hermitage.  After several days of helping family members prepare their house for selling, am returned to hermitage.  Then made another journey to the lumber yard early yesterday to pick up a very good deal that Craig offered this hermit.

I noticed when at the lumber yard returning some fence wood that we did not need at the family member's house, a double-paned, solid wood, exterior French door in the store's "bone yard."  (The bone yard is what many lumber companies call their area of returned items, usually special orders returned by customers for one reason or another, and then discounted to sell.  Bone yard deals have helped this hermit immensely in rehabilitating this hermitage.)

Yes, Craig made a deal I could not pass up.  The door is an inch or so shorter than normal exterior doors, but it will be lovely to replace an old, vinyl sliding door.  It's odd size will fit just fine since that side of the room has a lower ceiling line than the normal 8', while the ceiling then vaults to the other side to 11' or so.  An inch or two is not going to matter, in door height.

Since my summer helper is evidently not going to be assisting any more (Mass situation probably too difficult and awkward for his parents to assimilate and accept--and can't blame them), the new neighbor boys have been eager to help out on occasion.  What is marvelous about this development is that they ask far less per hour than my young Catholic helper wanted, plus they can just walk to assist even in something relatively small as helping unload the new and heavy French door from the pick-up, Precious Blood.

Tomorrow one of the teens will return to help install it.  God provides!  Each door weighs a substantial amount, and this old hermit cannot lift them nor hold them steady and at the same time screw the hinges to the frame.  Our guardian angels do so much in helping us--and that includes arranging for helpers when we need!

As for my summer Catholic helper and his parents, I did call and leave a message, offering the work to him first out of loyalty and love.  But already, with finances continuing to dwindle, I was open to the new neighbor boys and their much lower hourly wage-requests.  I always consider that God provides in the way He wills and desires.  Perhaps there is some reason for the hermit to interact with the new lads, for the summer helper will always remain in this hermit's heart of prayers.  Such a dear and sweet boy and lovely, loving family will always be remembered with prayers and thankfulness.

Looking back upon the priest and Mass situation at the area parish, it most certainly would seem terrible to others--and quite judgmental of me to have said what was seen and sensed within.  Only God and this hermit and the spiritual father and the priests and spiritual friends who have known me for years understand that I would never have seemingly judged, thus, had it not been for the intensity of the unfiltered state during Mass which senses so clearly truth, beauty, goodness--and also that which degrades, is unhealthy and counters truth, beauty, and goodness.

This nothing consecrated Catholic hermit is at peace with acceptance of what has transpired since and in obedience to my spiritual father.  The Lord has been teaching much in the past three months of mostly the silence of solitude, being hidden from the eyes of men, in praise and prayer and penance!  What is a sacrifice is proving to be prayerful offering for all priests, for all parishioners, for the Church, for this my soul and all souls--here and in eternity. 

God Bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us learn to love to live God's law of love--the fulfillment of all laws.  Love God and one another!

Catholic Hermit: Exercising Gifts

It's been a week or so since writing--writing a blog post, that is!  Have been catching up on some correspondence and writing in another venue.  But mainly, this very tired out, nothing consecrated Catholic hermit has been working hard, exercising gifts that God has given.

Today's first reading from Romans 12 expresses a broad variety of gifts which we mortals are given in varying measure and forms.  What seems crucial despite variety and amounts, is that we utilize the gifts God gives us.  This simple statement reminds us.

Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us,
let us exercise them....

There was an urgent need in the family, and this hermit has been away from the hermitage for the bulk of a week.  Working as a team, we built up one another, utilizing each others skills and strengths, sharing ideas, coming up with viable solutions, and remaining positive in what could be a devastating situation.  

We made much progress as a unit, for we are members of the Body of Christ.  We are part of a holy Whole.  There is genuine love and mutual respect, despite individual uniqueness and our mortal, ever present flaws.

Now, having returned to Te Deum Hermitage, this hermit's body is trying to recover from the added push of driving, sitting, conversing, and negotiating with people out in the world.  We had to make progress in problem-solving and in making headway for whatever is next.  

Today, the silence of solitude includes both external and internal, whereas in the past week there was not as much external silence.  It does not matter, for the silence of solitude is an individual and interior attribute--partly learned, partly acquired.  Given by God's grace, a hermit chooses or chooses not to exercise it.

The Lord has been with us all in the moments past, present and will be in future no matter the temporal crises which wax and wane in our external circumstances.  And the externals do affect our interior lives to some degree.  Either we will be buffeted about, or we will hold firm in faith, hope, and love.

Let us choose to affirm one another in love, respecting and honoring everyone in God's law of love!

Now to rise, stretch, dress, eat with gratitude something simple yet regenerative to the body.  There is manual labor to be done here, in the slow process of progress in some externals.  The mind, heart and soul remain fixed on God's law of love of Him and love of others.  

Whether the body be perched on an extension ladder tied into the house through a window and on top of a steep porch roof, painting a gable, or if priming a ceiling and trim pieces for an interior bathroom--or getting a spiritual book ready to ship to a person far away--God is within, and we may in simple consideration, remain in His Love.

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit: Reader Asks About Solitude

Recently, a reader of this blog inquired about Catholic hermits seeking solitude, and why.  The response right now is not going to be an eloquent essay on solitude.  Rather, am tired out from pain and having to travel for construction supplies, medication, some food staples, and get input on paint colorants....  So writing with eloquence on the topic of solitude, philosophically or poetically, is dashed by physical and temporal limitations today.

However, perhaps this is a good thing.  The late Thomas Merton who attempted the hermit vocation for a couple or so years, rather unsuccessfully as it turned out, wrote eloquently, theologically, spiritually, and philosophically about solitude in a book titled, Thoughts in Solitude.  This Catholic hermit highly recommends the book, incidentally, for anyone as solitude is a gift and blessing to us all at certain times of our lives, including daily doses of it.  

But as for the hermit vocation, Merton struggled with solitude due to his fame as a well-published and reviewed author, an international speaker who traveled quite a bit, and as a man who in his late 50's fell in love with a student nurse less than half his age, whom he met when having a surgery.  The dalliance continued long enough for phone calls and assignations arranged by his friends outside the monastery.  

Thankfully, for everyone involved, a fellow monk became suspicious with the numerous phone calls and overheard the lovers' conversation at one point, and reported it to the monastery abbot.  Merton was given the option of breaking off the heterosexual , slowing down his international travels and speaking engagements, or leave the religious life.

Now, all of the above is public record, detailed in posthumously published journals.  In fact, it is an excellent example of our human condition, of our temptations no matter our age or position in life, and the ever-present opportunity for making choices leading to change and also redemption.  While Merton's choice to remain a priest and Cistercian monk was extremely painful for the young woman who had been swept off her feet by an older man--no less a very famous priest and monk--it was a wise choice for Merton's vocation and reputation as a Catholic priest and monk, as well as for the Church, overall.

By then, the pitfalls of his hermit experiment had overcome him.  He returned to his more public and renowned position as author, poet, speaker, and at that time, interest in Buddhism.  Within months, Merton entered into the profound solitude of sorts that we all will experience when we leave this noisy and busy world.  He was accidentally electrocuted in Bankok, Thailand, after having delivered a speech opposing the war in Viet Nam.

What this discussion hopefully points out, is that solitude for any Catholic hermit is an aspect of the vocation which most likely is undergirded by the very necessary provision in the Church's documents on the eremitic vocation.  To be "hidden from the eyes of men in the silence of solitude" seems integral and key to successfully seeking and finding one's stride in solitude.  

All hermits owe a debt of gratitude for Merton's relatively short-lived hermit experiment, as being a world-famous writer, speaker, monk and priest is unlikely to ever ensure being hidden from the eyes of men, and thus precludes the silence of solitude.  Anonymity seems essential for a hermit seeking solitude.  It seems good to try out vocations or even a few aspects of some vocations to which one may feel called.  Why not?  How else will we discover God's will, for sure? Merton's experience highlights the aspects of hermit life and solitude that any consecrated Catholic hermit faces: Temptations in the adaptation to and within the silence of solitude.

It can be too much silence in solitude too soon--our cutting off from being known or noticed, being interactive socially or communally, facing the demons and ourselves...alone in our abodes, our cells, alone with our bodies, our minds, our emotions and our souls.  Having an experienced spiritual director, adept with the eremitic lifestyle himself but more so the spiritual life with all inherent purgations, is invaluable.  More so, it is key to be malleable, humble, compliant and desirous to seek solitude not for any external motivation, but for the interior one: Union with His Real Presence.

Another aspect of a Catholic hermit's seeking solitude beyond it being requisite in the Church's documents on the Consecrated Life of the Church, the Eremitic Vocation, is that of being called by God to the vocation.  It is God Who calls the hermit to seek Him in solitude; yet it is God Who ultimately offers and paces and governs the amount and depth of solitude in continual flux dependent upon how He wills for the life and soul of the hermit.

In the years Thomas Merton was a monk and priest compared to the couple or so years he experimented with the hermit vocation, the latter was an eye-blink of time in earth hours, and within those hours were many not actually spent in solitude, after all.  However, the attempt is beautiful; it was earnest and heart-felt even if ultimately disrupted and abandoned as not feasible for Merton.  Perhaps the greatest benefit he left for those with hermit vocations are his writings on solitude.

This nothing consecrated Catholic hermit did not set out writing these particular details and thoughts in response to a reader's inquiry on Catholic hermits seeking solitude.  Yet, somehow, it has hopefully helped answer something of what there is about solitude, or especially the silence of solitude, that is worth our seeking and why.  The snares and struggles involved in seeking and hopefully finding ourselves in God, in the silence of solitude, are the bulk of the answer.  They are what brings each of us to face our very own souls in the reflection of God's pure knowledge, power, and eternal light.  The struggles and snares in the silence of solitude bring us to the point of facing what we are not, and Who He Is.

He Is Mercy and Love.  He Is All to our nothing, whether we be hermit or not.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another as God Is Love!