Catholic Hermit: People Who Inspire

They may not live in our neighborhoods or even in our lifetimes, but those who are within His Real Presence, relating within His abode in our souls, find souls who inspire.

One such soul belongs to a woman who lived on earth from 1198-1279.  This soul was a female in gender, and she was and is known to humankind by the name of Hildegard of Bingen.  In her earthly name, we gain her earthly location--as was customary in that century to give locale of birth along with one's name.

A young spiritual friend who calls herself at times this hermit's spiritual daughter, suggested we next read a book about this soul named Hildegard.  Given the fact that many in the movement currently termed "new age" have gummed onto Hildegard and somewhat skewed her soul's message and mission, we settled on the edition published by Classics in Western Spirituality.

I have read the preface and part of the introduction and am already being inspired.  Having previously read other books about her life--one tainted with new age ideologies before I had researched the authoress and another that is out-of-print and solidly researched with her Christian base--I am fascinated all over again with what stamina and substance such a soul reveals to us, to our souls.

In the preface, I am struck repeatedly with reminders as to why this human woman's soul and earthly experiences when here, resonate and inspire my soul and earthly experiences.  Her existence as a person as well as a soul who yet exists and even more powerfully so can affect my life by her friendship, guidance, and prayers is downright helpful and more--is hopeful.

I cite this one example, although the short preface is filled with many others--and the introduction yet more, and what awaits in her own words, of her visions has my soul all eyes and ears.

"Atypical as we may find her moderate Benedictinism, her assumption of quasi-clerical roles and her exegetical rather than experiential stance toward her visions, the act of writing that wrenched her from depression into leadership reminds us of the stunning personal integration and religious creativity of Beatrice of Nazareth, Catherine of Siena, and Teresa of Avila in similar acts."

I found this assessment to be quite encouraging, at a personal level.  I also had forgotten in previous reading of her life, that she was chronically ill.  She also was outspoken against the weaknesses in the clerics of her time; and preached in written and verbal modalities, rallying people--souls!--to not succumb to blind following and lukewarm Christianity. 

But it is that the act of writing wrenched her from depression into leadership--that somehow touched my soul's heart profoundly.  To realize that the act of writing can do so much not only for those who may read what is written--or not--is what gives me encouragement and hope.  And what is written from the inner abode wherein His Real Presence reigns and rules those souls who desire His full consummation of our souls, has such power not so much for those who read, if they do, but powers us from stagnation into leadership.

Does leadership need to be of the external, earthly variety?  No.  Leadership can be such as the inner world reveals--the world of souls.  The soul's inner sight, inner sensing, inner conversation and thought-flashing, inner hearing, inner breathing, inner communion with God Who Is Love.

So perhaps some of you may grasp the same kind of excitement and hope or at least glimpse a bit if you've read my blogs and know of or can relate with the trials, the suffering, and the spiritual journey thus far.  There is movement forward today with the comaraderie of yet another soul-friend, leading by example of her soul's journey when on earth--and of course, in fact, with what her soul will reveal of its existence in the earth-time since her stepping beyond the stairway to heaven.

I think Hildegard's soul will be with me very much in the creative endeavor, albeit manual and mundane, of tiling the tub surround today, here in this place where my body with soul encompassing it, exists for now.  I am interested in what her soul has to show me, has to say, and not only in the extant writings her soul mind and heart penned centuries ago.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Love God above all things, and love one another as ourselves.

Catholic Hermit Correspondence: Suffering and the One Reality

Someone has sought information on what does a Catholic hermit "do".  Amidst various tangible and intangible activities or doing, this consecrated Catholic hermit corresponds with others from time to time.  The topics run the gamut of all aspects of our lives, yet always delving into the spiritual questions and understandings we gain over time and life experiences--trials and joys.  We learn, grow, pray for, support one another, and also we reflect upon God's reaching into our lives, and deep into our souls.  

Here is an example of this Catholic hermit's correspondence, shared as a sample mainly because the recipient though it quite helpful.  A good aspect, though, about thoughts, insights, ponderings that we set into written format, is that farther on in our life's pilgrimage, there arise other or additional insights, further understandings.  It is part of the holy spiral, with alterations in growth as prolific as the tiny, new threadling roots beneath the soil, or as the numerous branchings of fresh shootlings of tree limbs.

Dear K,

It was rather a grace to awaken at exactly 6 a.m. this morning.  Usually do not sleep that well to not wake up at 2 or 3 or 4 a.m. with pain issues.  So figure God is giving a grace so that I would be in prayer and rejoicing with you, in your time with M, to start at 9 a.m. for you, there, where you are.

Was it the chapter on the Cross--12--in the Second Book of The Imitation of Christ that you commented upon being difficult to embrace or accept, understand?  It is on suffering.  Find it to be so very accurate--yet difficult to embrace or want to accept because it goes so contrary to how we might want it otherwise.  But the fact does remain that Jesus said the very same things, in fewer words, and also by His life.  I need to remember how He surely must have felt--the human part of  him--when his own family thought He was crazy, and also in His grief in the Garden of Gethsemane--broken by treachery and so much suffering, weeping, and feeling abandoned.  Yet he endured it all.  Even on the cross He complained to the Father, in a way--asking "Why hast Thou forsaken Me?"  

My God!  My God!  We can cry this out, with Him.  I do, often enough.

I marvel at the saints having voluntarily taken on sufferings, though.  But it made sense when the author of The Imitation wrote that there is no escaping--that we try to run from one bad situation but the next can and likely will be worse.  That has been the case here; and I suppose some day looking back, whether on earth or not, I will see how very valuable this experience has been--if for nothing else, the great humiliation and humbling it has brought.

When the pain is not so intense, not as intense as a siege, I tend to be able to handle matters better--even the one who continues to try to demean and strip me of human dignity or credibility, temporally or spiritually, and of suggesting no place as a Catholic.  I can see it as very good, in fact, and so true as to what a twist in perspective can wring out of someone's mind to that which is actually the case, the truth. And also I realize that none of it matters, what is said or we may be judged by some, and can see the foolishness of being by some action of others, or thinking ourselves "approved" or "valid" when in fact, a person may not be (and likely not be) any more than anyone else, in God's Reality.

I do see the great divergence in the Church, though, and it seems no different than what the Jewish priests and people tended to dig themselves into, with their laws and their judging of others.  They so judged Jesus and had judged John the Baptist--other than some who admired him a lot, and of course, many more quiet ones loved Jesus and followed Him--causing the insecure others to get all the more riled.

So it seems that the world and the laws that people make up, sincerely hoping to help the worship or to keep things right and strict, only end up being abused and interpreted in whatever way suits the views of people and their wishes.  And that then causes more discord and takes the very rule makers and rule seekers and those thinking they are abiding by their rules, farther away from Christ and His teachings and life, than what was before.

Today is the feast of St. Francis of Paoli, a hermit.  He was in exile in an extreme way for six years or more.  He was not a priest but founded an order upon his way of life, which was also rather extreme but quite simple and thus freed him to be in Christ more fully.  Eventually, he did ask a bishop or pope or someone like that, to approve his rule of life--one that he wrote later on.  He had many gifts and graces bestowed by God; and for this, I marvel at how then, others can so question and judge anyone's life and circumstances.  

I realize how I have judged so much in the past, when I thought I was securely living out properly every temporal aspect in the Church, before I came to grasp the two worlds of the Church.  I remember Bishop X arguing the point that there is but one "reality"--even if he agreed to concede there are very much the two worlds.  Perhaps it is a problem to consider them all as one; for how can the temporal which is always passing away, truly be one with the eternal, which is of those aspects that are "above", as St. Paul asks us to think--that which is above and not below...or that Jesus said He did not belong to this world below but came from above.

Truly, it is when I get slogged down with the below and the things of the temporal, that the virtues tend to get weakened if not even lost--shot down by the temporal realities.  Then it is the grace of God and that which is of His Real Presence and not of this temporal world, that lifts up, once again.

So perhaps we fool ourselves.  Yes, we do enjoy the temporal beauty of a lovely church building and the temporal aspects of the Mass, or so we think.  We like a good priest and homilist, and the aesthetic qualities that are so beautiful in this world, and that are incorporated in worship.  But if it were not for the reality of the spiritual, the purity of the Holy Essence of the Mass, the one reality of the One, the Being, the Truth, the Way, the Life, the Living Word, His Real Presence--all the other would not have any kind of worth or usefulness.  

The passing temporalities are stepping stones if even that.  But when they become the emphasis, misconstrued as the One Reality, then the actual or One Reality gets skewed and our lives--our souls--falter.  There really seems to be only the One Reality, and that is God.  And the temporal is not a reality but is a means to and aspect of the one reality.  Seems like that, and when I forget that reality of the One Reality, the body, mind, heart, and spirit then gets messed up and side-tracked.

When I can view the intricacies of fitting plumbing ABS pipe and elbows in order to achieve the proper venting for flow of sewer off-gas, to rise eventually out the roof, as stepping stones or a passing temporal process, then I can have peace and a kind of joy in plumbing as the process points to the one reality, for there really is just One, and that is:  God Is All.  And that Reality, His Real Presence, is single and solo yet in Three-ness.  The temporal is an aspect of the One, a symbol in tangibles for us when we are not yet capable of the fullness of the One Reality, of the spiritual, the mystical essence and substance of the humanly, unfathomable reality in His Real Presence. 

Perhaps rather than fearing and not being comfortable with the way my mind leaves and blacks out from the temporal when the pain becomes so intense, I should consider it more a participation in the One Reality, His Real Presence, in His Spirit, or as an ecstasy wrought of pain, of sorts, for I am no longer then tied to the temporal which is passing away, not the eternal, ever Present One Reality.  

There is nothing spiritual about pain and suffering in itself.  But there is everything good and spiritual about it as a stepping stone or a temporal aspect of the One Reality which is God.  And no matter how hard we try, we cannot ever accurately name or create any temporal description of God.

In that sense, we can place suffering very close to God.  In the many temporal ways we try to make rules and laws in order to control matters of God, or create medications to try to manage or control temporal pain, they only keep us farther from His reality--a reality we really cannot temporally control or name.

Oh well.

Praying you and M are having a wholly and holy spiritual love together, today!

God bless His Real Presence in us, and Love in His LOVE,

Dockers and Floaters: from Stairway to Heaven (Blog)

Understanding the Seekers: Schema of Dockers and Floaters

Envision a flowing river, wide enough that houses are built along at least one side. See docks in front of some or all of the houses, with land extending behind the buildings, then roads and towns off in the distance. Look at the river, and spot the rafts on them, wood log rafts or rubber rafts or plank rafts. They float along, headed downstream. 

On the rafts are people, one person usually, but sometimes two, or more if the raft is large. No motors; all is silent on this river except the sounds of nature or some quiet talk among the two or three or so together on the larger rafts. And there can be distance between the rafts; or they can be in sensible proximity.

Turn the gaze to the river's shoreline, the houses, the docks. See the home dwellers, finished with their career work for the day or weekend. Perhaps it is Sunday, and they are observing the Lord's day of rest. Perhaps not, but regardless the people are outside, drawn by what distinguishes their homes, and that is the river. 

The people on the river's bank, all along for miles and miles, notice the people on the rafts. They see while the rafts pass, one by one, their particular home and float down a ways, until the river bends or the view is too distant. The people on the rafts drift on by, slowly or rapidly, depending upon the current, based upon weather conditions and the river's concourse. The people on the rafts can see the home dwellers, their homes, their docks, their land, some woods, and the roads and towns off in the distance behind. Those on the rafts notice one after another, as they float downstream, those on the land.

Now consider what those on the land (some walking out to their docks for a better glimpse of ones on a raft) might wonder or think? What would you wonder or think, seeing a person (or two or three) on a raft, floating down the river? What are they doing? Where are they headed? Why would someone just float down a river on a raft?

What are the floaters thinking, as they float by and notice house after house and the people in them or outside, maybe more inside in our technological age, but always on land? Well, these people with their docks have houses, jobs, property to tend and earth to till, on-going contacts with society, cars to drive on the roads that lead to the towns. The floaters see the dockers and their effort, or at least some tangibles of their lives. But the dockers, those on the land with docks, might not comprehend what the floaters are doing or why they are doing it, for they float on by, alone or with a few, and then they float out of view.

On occasion the floaters float into the shore. Maybe they have  raft pole to change their course just enough to veer toward land. They dock if the docker is willing to have them, and most dockers are. After all, the floaters do need some practical provisions, and the dockers need and possess the practical provisions stored in their houses or have the transportation to go into the towns to purchase them, and have money to do so from their jobs. 

The floaters might need to fill up a water canteen or get some food grown on dockers' land or stored in the dockers' houses, although the floaters can also eat the fish of the river if they catch them, and can go to shore where there are no docks and homes, and forage for food along the river's edge and wooded areas.

The dockers are kind to share with these floaters, who they might not quite understand. They may develop thoughts of animosity for what the dockers could view as a waste of existence, as seen from the dockers' perspectives. Some dockers might want to know what it is like, floating on the river, and wonder what is the view upstream and downstream. 

The floaters are most appreciative for the dockers who help provide some practical aspects of their way of life. Young dockers might be intrigued by the floaters; old dockers may reflect on years of wishing they were floaters, but never could break away from land to try floating. Many dockers, at root level, consider the floaters a bit irresponsible and daft, and discourage the young from ever considering being a floater. It leads to...where? But staying on solid ground is secure and results in tangible productivity. 

Very few floaters, once they set off from river's edge (often from places where the river was but a stream) ever regret being floaters. Nor do they desire to be dockers, for they see dockers one after another, and the houses and land and roads and towns and cities beyond. It is all right for dockers, but floaters are floaters and must push off from the dock after a brief landing, and continue floating down stream.

Where do the floaters go? They follow the river and encounter whatever natural events occur on rivers. They never see too far what is coming, nor what is beyond the bend, but they have learned to follow the river's course, and eventually they find the river widening. Eventually the river will flow into the vast oceans, and at that point the floaters will need to either dock or put out to sea. 

By then, the floaters are adept at floating and not thrown off course by challenges requiring innovative adaptation. They may need to then live as dockers, but they would never become dockers, not really. And any dockers who may decide to float after years of docking, would need to go against solid ground, set off on a raft, and learn the ways of the floaters.

Dockers may not understand floaters, but floaters tend to understand dockers. It has to do with perspective, intuition and vision. Floaters have a broadened view. They not only see and experience the stream through river to ocean, upon shore and beyond, but they also see the dockers' land, dwellings, roads and beyond. They cannot see into the dwellings except at night, if curtains not drawn, but they sense the inside represents the outside. 

And while floaters come into shore when necessary, they do so briefly for they must continue to go with the flow. Floaters emanate from a dock, from some given point. They may have been born into a docker family but decided to become a floater from childhood intrigue of encountering floaters. Or they are born from birth waters, and seem never to be meant for land.

Floaters appreciate dockers for the good and practical. Dockers are salt of the earth. Dockers, too, have a perspective, and it is a practical, sensible, grounded perspective.

Maybe it has something to do with the thought that somehow, dockers very much know the ground beneath their feet; they stand on terra ferme. They work with what they know and touch, what is solid and firm. They know there is a Creator of all heaven and earth, and live with what they see, touch and know, here and now, with hope for heaven with practical assurance of its existence. 

Floaters seem to intuit what was before the here-and-now without being able to describe or define. They also are looking for what is to come, and living their lives while seeking. But they live on the water that flows above and between pieces solid ground, as well as falls from the skies. Their sense of God the Creator is perhaps experienced in more the grand scheme of things, but among others, in awareness of and appreciation of others. Dockers give floaters sustenance and solidity. Floaters give dockers variation and vision.

God created both dockers and floaters. They are inter- and intra-dependent, although some could argue that dockers really do not need floaters, that floaters simply add a touch of adventure and mystery. Perhaps floaters risk causing ire. It is said in Scripture that Martha complained to Jesus that Mary was sitting at His feet, not helping her with the tasks at hand. 

It may be presumed there are more dockers than floaters, just as there are more people with predominantly active lives than contemplative. Silly schemas like that of dockers and floaters, added to the numerous, sophisticated terms, analogies, constructs and comparisons that attempt to explain our human and spiritual variances, trying to live in the world and yet be not of it. No schema or theory is a pure replica for any set example of human and spiritual circumstance. 

Only Jesus Christ is the pure example, of God as Man, who was born, lived, suffered, died and resurrected. He is the only way to have full perspective and understanding, through love, as He comprehends all of life and all that is not.

But in and of life, perfectly exemplified in the life Jesus lived among the imperfect human dockers and floaters, there are individual factors, degrees and levels to any action and inaction due to the mystery of God and His creation of souls—created in His image and likeness—another mystery!

Some Human Hands on the Way

Pain has been horribly high, yet.  Went to clinic due to having kidney symptoms.  Thankfully was not--just a new way the pain was radiating to simulate the perfect kidney infection storm.

Barely able to function as far as accomplishing manual labor. One obstacle occurs after another. Raphael did not come as he'd said, to help unload the truck of some thin but heavy siding (Hardie-Plank).  Had to try to unload, one 12' length at a time and broke two.  They are very thin and wobbly. Called Craig at lumberyard, and he had a wonderful tip:  Use a long 1x4" plank underneath each siding board, and carry into the pole barn that way.  Used his advice and carried in the other 30 boards, thankfully without breakage and aided by the wrist brace to give support to a permanently stretched-out ligament.  The siding and the wrist need support.

Yes, support makes all the difference.

Later this afternoon this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit will have visitors for a couple or three hours.  They do not like to come here; the work is frustrating; they have any number of things they'd rather do and often times must do.  But they are coming because the nothing needs some support.  Need another set of hands.  Need some help making progress, being pushed some, motivated, to move through the pain to the other side of it as much as possible.  

Need someone to shove down on an ABS pipe from under the kitchen sink, as the hermit pushes up on the pipe from in the crawlspace--within the 3-4 second time span before the ABS pipe glue sets permanently.  That is not much time when coordinating with another, with a floor between us and tight quarters for the work.

Also need someone to hold the main drain pipe that goes down into the ground and to the septic tank. This consecrated Catholic hermit tried to saw the opened pipe (had to remove the original stack of drain pipes going down as am re-doing the hermitage plumbing to make it all code). The pipe wobbled so much, that the hermit could not get a good draw with the saw blade; the pipe wobbled so much that the concern is it will crack or break off under the soil line.  So even the pipe needs support.

Friends across the miles have been praying much, and their prayers are appreciated.  This pain siege has been a whopper. It continues somewhat, affecting focus, thoughts, and especially emotions.  Pain can do all kinds of things to a person's body, mind, heart, and spirit.  It is a powerful force.

Pain works.  Just consider Jesus on the Cross being Crucified and saving our souls for all eternity. Well, those souls who love and follow His Truth, Way, and Life are redeemed.  And we just never know if we are or are not, until we face our individual judgments, face-to-face (with whatever that actually will translate in visuals or some other sensing) with His Real Presence.

Yesterday was finally able to read some more in Pseudo-Dionysius.  It is the chapter on God as the Good, and what constitutes evil.  It is fascinating, Scripture soaked, inspired, and is the truth.  But the introductions to this volume are written by three different scholars who write about Pseudo-Dionysius (whoever he was; they don't really know for sure) and his writings.  Each scholar covers a period of Christian history and include an assessment of how the people of those time periods (including clerics and scholars) viewed and assimilated Dionysius' writings.

For the most part, those who tend toward the more concrete comprehension could not grasp the thoughts.  Those who were more of the mystical, such as John of the Cross, Tauler, Eckardt, and too many others to mention (and not just of the Middle Ages but prior and after) had their lives altered and uplifted by the writings.  And sometimes the writings would be refuted.  Martin Luther studied Pseudo-Dionysius' writings and grasped in the earlier years of his priestly formation, but he later dismissed them when he changed his views and allegiance theologically.  Some Cistercians as well as other notable religious, read but not always supported the writings.

So we have support again, as well as its opposite, a lack of support.  What that boils down to is that some people can grasp thoughts at more esoteric levels, and others cannot. Some like certain activities, and some do not.  Some enjoy certain books, and some do not.  The reasons for the support or lack therein of certain ways of life, thoughts, beliefs, interests, and so forth, is due to personality, intelligence, temperament style, and even somewhat cultural belief and political disposition.

In a previous post in a different blog [orderofthepresentmoment.blogspot.com], this hermit wrote of a paradigm which explains basic differences, calling it a difference between the dockers and the floaters.  Because that paradigm was given as an inspiring insight, His Real Presence teaching this nothing Catholic hermit why there is conflict at times, or misunderstanding, or totally differing perceptions when it seems such ought be unnecessary, it just seems to be natural and to make sense of these matters.

It is important to understand why some can grasp what might be called loftier thoughts or less tangible ideas, and others respond to concrete and temporal thoughts and ideas.  These may be truths being expressed, all the same, yet those requiring concretism do not at all gravitate or understand the other ways of expressing.  

Such was the case of the older spiritual friend who started to read the first few pages of Pseudo-Dionysius and said it seemed like mush to her--could not latch on and drink it down.  But the other spiritual friend read the first chapter and admitted that while it stretched the brain cells that had otherwise succumbed often to diaper changing and settling toddler-squabbles, it lifted her up and beyond and at the same time, made total, beautiful sense.  With the former mentioned friend--The Imitation of Christ made sense and salves the spiritual palate. With the latter friend, Pseudo-Dionysius reads like fine wine on the order of the wine Jesus created at the Wedding Feast of Cana.  

Thankfully, the nothing Consecrated Catholic hermit enjoys and digests both, but it's inclinations are to the expression of truths and thoughts of God that tend to float and take this body, mind, heart, and spirit with them, like incense prayers wafting up--or deeply in--to His Real Presence.  So we each have our "tastes" and ways in which we are best able to grasp and understand matters of soul and matters of His Real Presence Who Is Love and abides in us and us in Him.  

Yes, when we are primed and performing God's works for the Good to which we have been graced, to fall short in any degree is what constitutes evil.  Evil itself is not a being, for all beings are created by God and are thus created as good. Evil is some lack of good but never is there a total lack of good in a being, for beings are created by God.  There will always be that aspect of good in a being.  Well, for another post, perhaps, this sip of Pseudo-Dionysius' inspired writings.

But regardless of our temperament styles, personalities, intellects, cultural and political bent--support is necessary, one for another.  Even a most solitary Consecrated Catholic Hermit needs a helping hand as well as support--even to be respected and loved...but not due to any self-notion its own worthiness.  Quite the opposite, for it is nothing compared to God's All.  Yet a nothing anything can be respected and loved simply because it is a created being of God, imperfect and falling short of the good God desires of it, many times over. Any created being or thing of God ought to be respected and loved due to God's creating it.

And that is why we should respect and love all of God's created souls and creatures and earth and life as His, as well as to respect and love Him above all.

Catholic Hermit's Heart Best Here

Yet today in upper echelons of physical pain.  The mind and emotions were dipping into the past, having regrets for choices that seem to have not brought blessings from God to the Catholic hermit, nor to others close at heart.  Such dark thoughts, spurred by the devil who is adept at moving in on bodily pain to create upset--vied for inner space.  

This all-the-more-nothing-reduced-by-pain Catholic hermit finally recognized the tricks of the evil one and turned to Him Who strengthens the heart:  Jesus Christ, the Beloved Spouse.  The words across the centuries, inspired by His Real Presence and penned by a man named Thomas a Kempis, seem apt today.  This particular selection, where the hermit had last left off reading, sets straight the mind's path and leads straight to the heart of God's matters. 

The hermit remains downed in bed but not now downcast in spirit. Separating the sentences in the selection below, helps the eyes and mind slow the speed of reading for better absorption of holy wisdom.  Any cares and trials of life--the past, the present, and future unknowns--are answered in the clear light of words that release and lift from deceptive snares.

This Catholic Hermit's heart is best when turned to His Real Presence and reminded of that which is of most importance on earth and in heaven, in all our lives no matter what.  Read the following from The Imitation of Christ, Book Two, Chapter One: Meditation.  Discover for yourselves if your heart is best here, as well. 


The kingdom of God is within you,” says the Lord. 

Turn, then, to God with all your heart.

Forsake this wretched world and your soul shall find rest.

Learn to despise external things, to devote yourself to those that are within, and you will see the kingdom of God come unto you, that kingdom which is peace and joy in the Holy Spirit, gifts not given to the impious.

Christ will come to you offering His consolation, if you prepare a fit dwelling for Him in your heart, whose beauty and glory, wherein He takes delight, are all from within. 

His visits with the  inward man are frequent, His communion sweet and full of consolation, His peace great, and His intimacy wonderful indeed.

Therefore, faithful soul, prepare your heart for this Bridegroom that He may come and dwell within you; He Himself says: “If any one love Me, he will keep My word, and My Father will love him, and We will come to him, and will make Our abode with him.”

Give place, then, to Christ, but deny entrance to all others, for when you have Christ you are rich and He is sufficient for you.

He will provide for you.

He will supply your every want, so that you need not trust in frail, changeable men.

Christ remains forever, standing firmly with us to the end.

Do not place much confidence in weak and mortal man, helpful and friendly though he be; and do not grieve too much if he sometimes opposes and contradicts you.

Those who are with us today may be against us tomorrow, and vice versa, for men change with the wind.

Place all your trust in God; let Him be your fear and your love.

He will answer for you; He will do what is best for you.

You have here no lasting home.

You are a stranger and a pilgrim wherever you may be, and you shall have no rest until you are wholly united with Christ.

Why do you look about here when this is not the place of your repose?

Dwell rather upon heaven and give but a passing glance to all earthly things.

They all pass away, and you together with them.

Take care, then, that you do not cling to them lest you be entrapped and perish.

Fix your mind on the Most High, and pray unceasingly to Christ.

If you do not know how to meditate on heavenly things, direct your thoughts to Christ's passion and willingly behold His sacred wounds.
  
If you turn devoutly to the wounds and precious stigmata of Christ, you will find great comfort in suffering, you will mind but little the scorn of men, and you will easily bear their slanderous talk. 

When Christ was in the world, He was despised by men; in the hour of need He was forsaken by acquaintances and left by friends to the depths of scorn. 

He was willing to suffer and to be despised; do you dare to complain of anything? 

He had enemies and defamers; do you want everyone to be your friend, your benefactor? 

How can your patience be rewarded if no adversity test it? 

How can you be a friend of Christ if you are not willing to suffer any hardship? 

Suffer with Christ and for Christ if you wish to reign with Him. 

Had you but once entered into perfect communion with Jesus or tasted a little of His ardent love, you would care nothing at all for your own comfort or discomfort but would rejoice in the reproach you suffer; for love of Him makes a man despise himself. 

A man who is a lover of Jesus and of truth, a truly interior man who is free from uncontrolled affections, can turn to God at will and rise above himself to enjoy spiritual peace. 

He who tastes life as it really is, not as men say or think it is, is indeed wise with the wisdom of God rather than of men. 

He who learns to live the interior life and to take little account of outward things, does not seek special places or times to perform devout exercises. 

A spiritual man quickly recollects himself because he has never wasted his attention upon externals. 

No outside work, no business that cannot wait stands in his way. 

He adjusts himself to things as they happen. 

He whose disposition is well ordered cares nothing about the strange, perverse behavior of others, for a man is upset and distracted only in proportion as he engrosses himself in externals. 

If all were well with you, therefore, and if you were purified from all sin, everything would tend to your good and be to your profit. 

But because you are as yet neither entirely dead to self nor free from all earthly affection, there is much that often displeases and disturbs you. 

Nothing so mars and defiles the heart of man as impure attachment to created things. 

But if you refuse external consolation, you will be able to contemplate heavenly things and often to experience interior joy.

Humility, Humility, All About

The mind is a-flutter with wondering what next and where and how.  Then remembered the cloud analogy.  There are many clouds today, woven as a blanket; no, more like a washed, concrete ceiling.  Regardless, if we could put our hands up and touch, we'd keep reaching and touching and touching and reaching--never stopping.  We'd never feel or be stopped by the ceiling.

Seemed the best thing to do rather than despair over the financial trials, the energy of body trials, the realization that this place is not nearly finished and not salable, and lots of work to be done before any hope of moving on, and not wanting to move on but facing being stopped by the ceiling.  Or floor.  

So this situation here is not like the clouds.  But the reaction to and dealing with it is like we deal with the clouds.  We notice them sometimes, but not really too much.  We don't bother trying to touch them for we know we cannot, not really. Yes, we might feel the cool and moist or be bathed in water drops if we could put our hands or bodies inside a rain cloud.  But we aren't in a rain cloud usually, unless in an airplane flying through.

The best thing to do is to just try to keep working on the place and know that the clouds will be totally different another hour or day.  That is the way to deal with life's trials, too.  Just keep the nose to the grindstone, praying all the while, sensing the beauty of the created world all about, and accept that the clouds come and go.  And so must we.

We are changing all the time, as is all else living and created...clouds, and even stones.  

Can't find the construction stapler.  Need it to staple the felt paper to the old flooring up here so can screw down the plywood sub-flooring.  Prayed and prayed, looked and looked:  still no stapler.  Last time used was when Francisco helped staple the insulation in downstairs ceiling.  We each had a stapler.  Found the staples, just no stapler, not yet.  Will keep praying and trying to locate.

Humility, humility, is all about us.  It is like the clouds, present and there, visible moisture at a distance but quite willing to gift into our souls, our inner moist and warm and welcoming souls.  Let us hope and pray our souls are welcoming to humility.  Pride is its only obstacle.

In thoughts on humility this morning, amidst the tears and questions as to how this life can be so difficult sometimes.  How on earth, literally, is this tired nothing Catholic hermit going to finish this dwelling so can sell it, yet have enough income to remain for the long time it takes this old hermit to do so much manual labor?  The thoughts blew about the mind like frantic winds.  Then came the thought:  Do or die.

That is humbling.  It does come down to this, does it not?  So lined up the medication bottles in a row, and stirred some stoic effort and stated:  Do or die!  Yes, Lord, it is do or die time.  So humbling!  And the obvious action is to do!  Even if one feels as if it has lived all the cat's nine lives, one must get up, shake off the bodily pain, dress, eat something (thankful for food), and get to work.

Too tired to even try to sell off the supplies, so had better work with them and use them and have the place any bit farther along in finished effect.  As for setting a four-month deadline to finish...the psyche balks at that.  Seems too impossible.  Remember the clouds?  Could we possibly tell the clouds to be in a certain location or formation four months from now?  Hardly and not!

That, too, is humbling.  We actually have no more control on the moment after this next one, than we do in grabbing a cloud or in making one do as we wish or think would be best.

Humility is being a cloud.  Seems so.  Clouds are given titles.  There is the generic title of "cloud" that God has inspired in the naming.  Then someone came along and was organized and scientific-minded, and decided (was inspired by God) to give the types of clouds titles--distinguishing each from another type.  We had to learn those names as children in science class, perhaps around fifth grade.  Four types, it seems, and probably more now.  We people keep thinking up more and more distinguishing aspects.  These can be useful to scientists and good to memorize for the discipline of expanding knowledge and stretching the mind.  

But the overall title of "clouds" suffices for most of us.  We don't usually even consider the clouds but keep our heads down more and more, into technology and into work that has us indoors a lot, and not looking up to the heavens.  Seems like to the clouds, having a title probably means nothing at all. Don't know if God needs them to have a title; probably not, other than as a gift to us to help us appreciate more and identify this or that, by giving all things and thoughts, names.

Underneath the names, though, humility can be all about. Up above our earthly trials, humility can be all about.  Deep within our pained bodies and our seeking souls, humility can be all about.  It can come all of a sudden or be like a blanket, or like that washed, concrete ceiling--a cloud itself can be the humility all about our souls!

(Maybe in addition to love, humility is friends with faith.)

Now, to have another look about for that stapler.  Do or die!

God bless His Real Presence in us, little children!  Let us love one another and love the clouds! Humility, humility is all about!  See it if we can; always accept and let it into our souls!

Humility Hits the Hermitage

Today brought humility with it to the hermitage.

For one thing, have been dealing with a dishwasher that had a leveling leg that would not budge.  Wired the dishwasher; plumbed the dishwasher--drain hose and water supply line.  But could not complete the effort due to the leveling problem.

Persisted with the appliance and delivery guys at Lowe's for over three months and finally called the manager.  He got action!  (Had even hired Mark to help try to adjust that leveling leg; neither of us had success).  Greg in appliances donated an extensive set of new hex tools, as the usual ones (and ones in the hermit tool repository) did not fit the tiny hole that contained the secret to success.

How wonderful the dishwasher makers put the leveling mechanism hole at the front base so that when the dishwasher is set back in its place under the counter and between cabinets, one does not have to pull out the unit to raise or lower the back.  However, mechanisms can be tricky.  Would have been far easier to simply be able to adjust the back leveling foot the same way as the front ones: just turn them by hand or with channel locks.  Easier to pull out the unit and shove it back in, or so this unit would have fared better that way.

Since this nothing Catholic hermit could not get the mechanism to turn more than a quarter-to-half-a-turn, the manager's next plan was to send out his best delivery guys and also a new dishwasher.  But first, Don in cabinets came to the rescue in the store and tried out raising and lowering the mechanism on the store floor model.  Then he instructed the delivery guys as to how to do it.

Praise the Lord!  At first the delivery man could not get the hermitage dishwasher leveling leg to work at all because his hex tools did not have the correct size.  Aha!  The massive set of all sizes that the appliance man at Lowe's had gifted, had just the right size.  But then, as was the case with the nothing hermit, he could not get it to budge beyond a half-turn.  Yet he had confidence and was familiar with appliances.  He shoved extra hard--beyond what electrician man Mark or nothing would do for fear of breaking it--and the leg raised.  

The two men patiently waited while this nothing hermit crammed into the kitchen base cabinet, and with long fingers stuck through the hole drilled in the cabinet for this purpose, fished out the drain hose, the water supply line, and the power cord.  Then the heroic delivery men slowly shoved the dishwasher under the counter while nothing hermit kept pulling on the three items that otherwise would have been squished in the back of the dishwasher space.

Such a very small thing--not being able to level the dishwasher nor get it back in its spot, nor to be able to continue with plumbing the kitchen sink.  For nearly four months, it was a lingering ordeal, quite frustrating.  Not sure what caused the breakthrough other than the call to the manager when Mark was trying to get the crazy leg to budge.  When the manager heard that a man was here and being paid, and he could not get it to work for fear of breaking it, that made an impression.  He knew the nothing was pursuing every possible means to solve the problem.  That helped, too.  Perseverance.

And humility.  It was so humbling to have these two men be so kind, and to understand what a relief something so small and insignificant could mean as they stood amidst the total mess and chaos of the unfinished hermitage--a shell of a place, jammed with tools and building materials and earthly possessions and definitely not a pleasant habitation.

Then there was a humbling conversation with the financial advisor via phone.  Nothing must do all it can to finish this place, make it salable, and sell.  The money is running dangerously dry, and there is no means of much income given pain and age and having to expend what energy there is on manual labor--very slow indeed!  

There was a humbling email exchange with the adult son over the situation.  There is no help form that correspondence that would be wise or approved.  The nothing Catholic hermit could be grieved, but humility kept its roost in those present moments, as well.  Just accept and be thankful, yet know that there will be much more asked of this body, this mind, this heart and soul--to endure!

Humility!

Then there was the attempt at plumbing, ah, finally, the kitchen sink double drain and vent piping.  But, alas, the part that nothing hermit ordered for the dishwasher tailpiece drain, was not as advertised and unusable.  Humbling experience to have waited for weeks only to have the obstacle.  Then, could not fit the drill with the hole bit into the small space between studs so as to drill the final hole for the vent pipe.  Too much to describe--yes, this is all trivia, anyway.  But all so humbling.

The only stab from pride today came when the young mother and wife called to discuss our reading, and she served a compliment.  Humility swatted it away, thankfully.  Whatever insights or metaphors such as the clouds, are from His Real Presence.  To Him be the glory.  That is simple enough to know and know well.  Nothing this nothing does has been very admirable especially in this financial mess and renovation conundrum.

Finally, as the hermit was sawing some plywood subflooring to fit into the newly framed upstairs bath (no plumbing done there yet--just 'umble basics), it considered two courses for the pickle it is in.   Try to finish quickly and risk running out of funds soon and hope to sell in the better sales season, or keep on working slowly but surely (and not pay the high labor costs!), and know it will drag on another year for being such a slow worker:  this hermit.  Then drain out the final bits of finances, and hope to sell for whatever, knowing either sooner or later there are going to be major monetary losses.

So humbling!  Hard to believe this hermit was so naive, but 'tis so, and foolish, more so.

When all is gone, if no windfall comes prior (and why or how should it?), nothing Catholic hermit will move on to the next adventure which possibly might include renting a room somewhere with a few unsold family items in a rented storage unit.  Or, might go to a shelter.  Could maybe do some good for the others there--encouraging, listening, empathizing!  But even that idea of usefulness smacks of some pride.  Who does this hermit think it is, that it might uplift fellow shelterers?

Humility hit this hermitage today.  It did not come from anything of this nothing Catholic hermit.  It all came from without, and from within, from within to without and without to within--inexplicably, but ever so humble--so present in the moments.  

Truly, humility is a gift and divine grace, for one cannot conjure it of oneself and do it honor, not really.  It has to come from God.  Our efforts seem to be necessary in allowing space for it within us, and to try to keep clear any pokings of pride. Pride pokers are always attempting inpokes, very cleverly and deceptively.  

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another!  Let us love humility in one another for love and humility are of God!

If the World (or Person) Hates You

From 1 John 3 we have today in Mass Scripture readings:  Do not be surprised, brothers and sisters, if the world hates you.

And later in this sequence we read that those who do not love from their hearts, who do not have love in their hearts, are murderers.  

This is the truth.

Lately, have pondered a relative whose relationship with a family member has ruled her for the bulk of her life, and it has been based upon resentment and personality clash that has grown into hatred for even the slightest nuances of speech or viewpoint that the family member makes.  The hater is 66 years old, and the hated is 91 years old.

The elder has reasons for her personality and outlook, for what she likes to do and discuss.  She, like the rest of us, is not perfect and knows it.  But she enjoys perfection or striving for it, and is an artist by profession, was an art teacher.  She grew up in a deprived household, her father passing when she was four, on the eve of the Great Depression.  With eight children in the family, the mother had quite a difficult life.  All the children grew to be successful, hard-working, and yes, with various but all strong and distinct personalities.  

The youngest, this woman now 91, has always desired to be socially acceptable, gracious, and tending to outer appearances in some aspects.  There are reasons for this.  A struggling childhood, for one, and recalling and so appreciating her mother's Saturday evening meal, using the good china, a lovely table cloth, and making what otherwise would have been a rather dark time of their lives, at least uplifted in those simple aspects.

Yes, perhaps there has been a bit much attention to personal appearance and desiring nice things.  But one can certainly understand why, in addition to the artistic proclivity and gifts.  Artists observe the outer appearances and appreciate color, style, design, and beautiful things.  There is nothing wrong with that.  But it is this aspect among many other small aspects, that have annoyed and grown into hatred in the reaction of the now 66-year-old.

Personality clash, yes, but the poison is seemingly beyond antidote in other than to pray for the person.  Talk and explanation, counsel and even being supportive in hopes of trying to get the poisoned one to then move into better mode, has not been effective.  The person poisoned has done self-harm, stuffing in feelings of anger toward other aspects of life and now lives with limitations of a physical sense in addition to the damaged emotions, the poison.

The 91-year-old has increasingly turned to God and prayer, yet still loves to enjoy what people wear, or their conversations, or lovely tables and details of delicious food and presentation, or gatherings of people for music or social time together.  And she loves the one who despises her, without realizing the depth of the anger the other has toward the elder, or else not allowing herself to realize it.  What difference would it make to know the extent of dislike, of hate?  The elder is now well-off, independent and has learned to hire others to assist her when her family cannot or does not.  But she appreciates when they can and do, and she chooses to love.

When the elder passes, which may be before the younger, although in this life we never know, she will leave the amass of money to the younger and to the younger's adult children.  She has already gifted the younger with a comfortable and lovely car, not causing a fuss in giving up that freedom in being able to drive, but rather passing through that phase with grace as opposed to many who instead need to be confronted and have the keys taken by strained family members.  She likewise, on her own, decided when to sell her home, then when to leave an apartment and enter an elder care facility.

Will the younger, the 66-year-old, even then, when the elder passes, be rid of the poison?  Is hate toward a living person alleviated when the person dies to this life, or is hate in the mind and emotions only quelled in and by forgiveness and grace of God, and in being able to then love the one who has been hated for nearly all of the person's life?  What difference does it make to change the word hate to resentment, personality clash, or trigger points?  It is none other than hate.

Yes, over the years the elder has said things of which the younger resented and felt hurt.  There were expectations of the younger as to how she wanted the elder to be.  (And there was rudeness from the younger to the elder, for sure.)  And true, others had difficulty sometimes relaxing in the presence of the perfections and plans of the elder, but they could understand and take it in stride.  

Having understanding of others and finding the good in them, and seeing the progress in their souls over the years, and realizing the love the person has for others--that washes over and ameliorates the bits of human flaws and irritants.

We all have them, these flaws and irritants.  But the reality is, that when we want to be good and to love, and when we strive toward His Real Presence and want to live a good as well as possible and be in light and as light--despite our human failings--those who resent or cannot forgive have a pall of darkness that distorts all the more, and suffocates their very soul.

All this is particularly highlighted when those who share the same faith--even the same Church--dislike others, criticize, try to discredit through words spoken or written or even thought and kept silent. Those who are stuck too much in the temporal Catholic world can be prone to this, and we must not be surprised when the temporal world aspects--society or church of any group or individuals--hates us.  

It is nothing new that the poison of disliking, of hating others, can creep into the Church.  St. Paul writes and warns of it in the Church of the first century.  Those who have hated, as he did, and been converted and healed, humbled, and forgiven, can tend to be able to love and forgive others, to have mercy for they have been given mercy and love.

But what a difference for a life and the lives of all involved, and for salvation, if we learn to love, if we live to love to learn to love.  Discord, anger, resentment, envy--it all boils down to the word that is so blatantly (and embarrassingly) strong but is the correct word to describe such:  hate.  

Those who have hate in them do not have God in them. Those who have darkness in them do not have the light.  Those who hate anyone (even if they describe it in less honest terms), are murderers.

And we must be reminded that those who dislike, resent, are rankled by, and hate, are not themselves but the darkness has crept in.  Yes, they were weak and open to darkness, but who of us has not been tricked and entered into by the author of darkness and hate?  So we cannot hate those who hate us, but rather have empathy and love, for we know what it is to be a host to poison even if quickly flushed out by the grace of God-Is-Love.

Little children, let us love one another!  Surely, if we see within ourselves that we are angered by others or dislike them, or are ruled by how they irritate us, have the poison of hate in us.  It is so unnecessary to love, especially among family, and that includes the family of the Church.  Darkness does not like Light.  Do we really want to be murderers?

Who will be judged harshly?  Who will advance to heaven? Will it be the one who is imperfect and yet loves, or is it the one who has let resentment and irritations build up in years of poison and hatred?  Will the death of the one heal the anger and hate of the other?  Will money gifted to the living, heal the hate?

God bless His Real Presence in us--if we have room for Him. Darkness does not like the Light. Clouds mask the sun as does the earth when night signals the obscuring of day.  Let us love one another.  Just love!  It ought to be simple, should it not?  Understand, empathize, encourage and see the good qualities and see hope in all souls (even our own)!  Be kind and merciful.  Pray for one another, and love one another!  Just love!

The Lord Sets Down and Lifts Up

Our lives can be read in the Psalms.

Here, the nothing Catholic hermit was dunked down, down, down.  Then with one final phone call to Raphael, leaving a message that it needed help and was too cold, His Real Presence sent a return call as a life line.  Help is on its way, tomorrow.

In the meantime, the hermit has been given that raising up necessary to do some tasks that Raphael and his men will find helpful.  Trying to clear clutter and organize tools and building materials--that which this hermit can lift and organize.  Raphael and men will make room in pole barn and carry out furniture that is stored in here, that keeps from more work being easily accomplished...like drywall.

The goal is to do whatever to help make the hermitage warmer, to retain heat, as living in 43 degrees is not easy.  Upstairs got some warmer, but thankfully the temps outside have warmed some, helping the body.

One can begin to have greater compassion and understanding of children and adults in tough living conditions, either too hot or too cold, who then do not do well on a job or at school, or who give up either with their bodies and emotions drained of energy.  One can understand the give-up mode.

Fr. V. is so correct in that this hermit needs to be yet more aware of how the devil will use any means to disrupt the body, mind, heart and spirit.  Yes, there is a prevalence of discounting the devil, as we can become out of balance with not keeping God's power and might and sovereignty in mind.  

However, combatting the devil can be matter of fact and does not need to consume. It is just part of the spiritual life, and an important part, as is praise and prayer and love.  Yet, awareness and combat are vital and not to be dismissed.  Spiritual warfare is reality.    Good vs. evil is nothing new.  It is that evil can be ignored, and then our foothold becomes unsteady.

We can be taken down for any number of reasons, and all has spiritual underpinnings for our souls.  Yet we can learn to turn repeatedly to His Real Presence.  Down, down, down, then when so emptied other than calling out to Him, at some point:  up, up, up.

The cycle repeats, and hopefully over time we become strengthened and all the more sure of our turning to His Real Presence.  The down, down, down has benefits; and over time, we learn to consider it like the ferris wheel, in which the down parts are considered always as merely an (even necessary) condition of the rising.  It is all part of the ride.

The infrared heater did not do a thing to warm the place.  Thankfully can return it.  But did find, in shoving heavy things enough from one wall, to get behind and start placing 2x4's between studs at the floor, two spaces that had cold air coming up from the crawlspace.  They are now stop-gapped.  Any progress is progress.

All this is fodder for linkage to the life of the soul, to growth toward His Real Presence.  Any progress is progress.  Praise God from Whom all blessings flow.

The ferris wheel will rise, and then it will descend again before another rising.  In the spiritual life, one must hang on just as solidly in the descent and lower regions, as when rising or at the pinnacle.  If the ferris wheel would become stuck at the height while we are on this temporal ride in this temporal world and in our temporal lives, being on top would soon lose its delight.

In the spiritual life,  being at the height is marvelous, for it means we are no longer enclosed in a circus ride's compartment, no longer riding an amusement.  We are freed and exist outside the limitations.  The soul who seeks God is one that increasingly learns that freedom within, to without, in faith, hope, and love.  

We float in snippets, and those come when we perhaps come to a point of allowing the down parts and up parts to be something outside our souls.  Sometimes it becomes too much to express but worthy of pondering and praying for the graces necessary.

Part of the grace is to realize that the Lord sets down and lifts up.  Either are facts of the temporal and the spiritual realms.  If we come to grasp that the setting down is not negative but rather a necessary aspect of the lifting up, we will make movement toward freedom in body, mind, heart, and spirit.  This likely will not happen other than in bits and pieces.  But each bit is a worthwhile segment.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another for God Is Love.          

Postscript:  Mark just called.  His truck is not working, so he cannot come today to do some necessary electrical in order for Raphael and men to hang drywall.  Good!  This is an prime example of what could seem down, and it is a downward movement in the temporal flow.  

However, it now can be viewed as a necessary part of the rising.  So set the sights on the rising to come, and realize that the back area cannot be drywalled, but other areas can.  Or, the landing can be constructed, or part of the ceiling done--not all as plumbing needs to come through.  Or, whatever bits of work on upstairs sections, even though nothing can be completed in totality.  

But know for sure, that His Real Presence allowed Mark to not be able to come today, for very good reasons and practice in the spiritual life, for faith, hope, and love.  Am praying for Mark's truck to be repaired for his sake, and to see that it is a necessary down for Mark, and there will be the rising, as well.