Joyful, Solus Deus, Christian, Catholic, Mystic Hermit: Correspondence to a Fellow Hermit

Note:  The canonical hermit who has done much to perpetuate various precedents created by said person, has written a lengthy and seemingly sound refutation of my comments and questions below.  What this person writes in disagreeing what I have set forth, and now has added on years that have grown exponentially to what was this person's previous length of time as a hermit, is not scripturally based nor accurate other than is from the person's legalistic view of the Body of Christ and Christ as Head, of which Jesus decried such aspects that the high priests, scribes, Pharisees and Sadducees of His time on earth had so created a contorted legalistic form of religion and spiritual life in the Jewish faith and lived out in the temples as well as were imposed on the Jewish people.  This manner of humankind creating what they wish and adding on to what humankind creates in legalisms yet in our times or in recent times, is what most hermits such as St. Bruno, gave pause and ponder, and thus left the temporal world including ithe temporal system and structure, and left for the farthest reaches  of the Alps in which to draw nigh on to Christ and to worship and pray, to be Christian in the freedom of silence of solitude, praise of God, and intimacy with Christ that yet lifted up and strengthened the entire Body of Christ.  Bruno had lived enough of the very aspects of this person who persists in making up what is not in many aspects in fact.  I have provided the person with more platform than is warranted or healthy for the misinformation that comes forth, so will leave off the topic of which I do believe, however, that there will be increasing "hermits" of the canon law provision, simply due to the public promotion and position, prestige of sorts, and aspect of thinking "legal" and "approved" is preferred to following in the footsteps, heart, mind, and spirit of Christ's teachings and life as He exemplified on earth and as it is in His Real Presence here and in Heaven.

God's blessings:

I've been wondering how you are, if you are holding up by the power of God to the physical challenges you were having at one time or perhaps yet are, causing you to move to another location now some time ago for personal and needful reasons.  I'm a Catholic hermit, consecrated but of the traditional, historic mode, privately professed as had been customary for centuries, as also some of the prophets lived--John the Baptist, as well.  I've always appreciated and been refreshed by your writing about how to become a hermit (religious type).  You write reasonably and openly, with wisdom and intelligence.  I've found the trend to instead by going toward more structural, temporalized hermit vocation in the Catholic church vis a vis the  CL603 diocese hermit platform.  Just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your just and modest expression of the vocation, thoughtful and set forth with reason and respect for all those who share the Catholic faith and also have been called by God to the hermit vocation. 

I have been, since vows professed nearly 23 years ago in private ceremony, and remain anonymous including hidden as far as blending in dependent upon environment in which I live or go out for errands. No prefix nor suffix to my name by choice of the same hiddenness and never felt need to stand out or be distinguished as with the low income and disabled with pain, facing increasing suffering so less manual labor. I may be facing losing the financial base I was utilizing--that of a modest inheritance invested in a house to renovate and eventually, hopefully selling for a profit to help pay for (likely) end of life health care needed.  I may not be able to complete the renovation, but will see what God has in Mind this coming year--if I recover enough from the latest major surgery.

I've never quite fathomed why bishops and/or those who wanted to be known as hermits, or given diocese hermit, bishop approval--was the canon law developed, and by what concern to do so.  Or did some hermits approach, even one or two, desiring the Church to create such a church law, because they wanted a place within the other designations of religious orders and clergy, virgins and widows?  Or were bishops concerned that the few hermits that ever exist, relative to Catholic lay members, were going to somehow have unmitigated and unapproved power, or were promoting themselves for monetary or theological gain?  

I thought perhaps you may know why they finalized the canon law (603) in 1983 to create a "diocese hermit" of which the bishop approves, and the vows are made publicly, of which now it seems precedents followed to include a public Mass, reception, publication announcement in diocese and other media, and sometimes hermit utilized in parish life and employment therein, or as hospital chaplains, paid spiritual directors or counselors, parish administrators or diocese employment.  However, typically hermits always have been and some few remain, solitary and more strictly separated from the world;  seekers of God alone and the spiritual life, existing to praise and pray and do penance, to live in silence of solitude and be hidden from the mainstream of the world.  And definitely were or are not known, not interacting in parishes nor belonging to any particular diocese--yet were and are approved and consecrated by and in God while very much remaining definitively Catholic (members of the Body of Christ and members of the Catholic Church).  

You seem a rather rare glimpse of a diocese hermit who has not succumbed or perhaps not gone along with the precedents being set by some hermits, particularly in the US, who are promoting, formulating, the erstwhile "traditional, historic" hermit vocation in this other manner.  It also seems from current research and events that bishops are assuming and inculcating the precedents, although have been simply made up by more visible diocese hermits who have by essence of being more public have established themselves or by supporters, as authorities.  The bishops seem not to question nor realize these protocols are simply being made up, whether or not the practices follow or adhere with what is stated in The Catechism of the Catholic Church.  These may include precedents and practices regarding solitude, per say, or "hidden from the eyes of men", or living a "stricter separation from the world"--of which stricter has grown a loose definition and as if no "waistline needed."  

Also, I have noticed that there is a precedent that has become as if "law", that the Catholic hermits who are of the ancient or traditional, historic mode (as has been the way of hermit profession and avowal, of being formed by God and those whom God has placed for a time period to guide the hermit, mentor the hermit)--that these hermits are somehow not to be referred to nor of themselves be "Catholic hermits".  This is a relatively new development, not that a Catholic hermit needs to be known as belonging to his or her Church despite Catholicism being the basis of a hermit's practice of worship, theology, faith, and tradition. 

Amidst these ongoing observations and in some regard concerns, I hope you might personally offer some insights as to the what and especially why, and how it was the diocese hermit and canon law 603 came to be accepted as essentially "promote and official, even "legal" format of hermit vocation in recent times. Also, do you anticipate the traditional, historic, perhaps what has been the only form or type of hermit existence prior to 1983 to thereby be replaced at least as no longer technically legally and in practice and essence inviable, in the eyes of the Church clergy and members?   [I believe there was a movement in France in early 20th c.of something of the sort but my memory rusty on what I've read of this, now a century past].  

Regardless, the creation of yet another canon law, and this for hermits of all vocations, seems to create what could become or has already made lasting ruts and signage as a replacement form of the centuries-old, tried and true hermit vocational pathway, going back prior to time of Our Lord hermit vocation. Already I am aware of aberrations from what is set forth and gleaned from more ancient hermit lives and writings, the requisites that earmark a hermit's life from perpetuity and history, and the ways and means of that lifestyle. 

Thanks in advance and regardless, if you can illuminate and share your thoughts or knowledge on these questions and concerns I have for the rather divisive situation of hermit vocational options, the one being subjugated in many circumstances and locales, already.  While the variant precedents and actual life style shifts taking place perhaps by bishops and diocese hermits maybe not in agreement or knowledgeable of the traditional and historic ways and wherefores of hermit lives--will not affect my own vocation.  What has been written in The Catechism has been been gleaned from historic hermit and theologic writings and lifestyles; my own and other tradtional hermits live vocations anonymously, formed, and corrected by for most part the Holy Spirit as enactor, and our guardian angels as messenger, the Holy Spirit as guide and overseer, and of Jesus the Word  and Son of God Our Father.  

But I do sense and have cited instances noticed, of the division that is being created, plus some detraction even if subtle or recently reworded. Eventhough you state correctly that the centuries-and-into-antiquity style of hermit vocation should not be demeaned, the traditional historic way of hermit life is in effect being negated or presented/treated as illegal by virtue of having the relative recent, diocese hermit path "legalized" by a canon law with procedural structure created by humankind, albeit clerics, but perhaps some who wanted this structure and stature developed, lobbied for and assisted in the creation of the canon law.  

So again, to re-cap; my sincere appreciation if you can shed light at least on the reason why a canon law to legalize and make public, organized, and structured a diocese hermit vocation--was determined necessary to begin with, or who promoted the diocese hermit or "by law" type of public profession into the hands of a bishop over private profession in and consecration by God?  

It's always fairly obvious when someone has a mental illness or is a demoniac, even back in the Old Testament times or during life of Christ, compared to a quiet, unassuming person who if takes seriously being "hidden" from the eyes of humankind, lives in solitude, blends in, is in stricter separation from the world--with stricter being an on-going progression but not playing games with the meaning of the word. And of discerning and noting the spiritual life and prayer, praise and penance being the way of life, along with living the Gospel that of a healthy and viable hermit as opposed to an imbalanced and mentally ill person, or even one who simply does not have the vocation, at least not yet, and is in it for the uniqueness or some form of self-gain.  (Hopefully, Christians would offer care and mercy  to such persons, or grasping if one even knew of the "hermit" if in a phase of spiritual or temporal trial that time would prove the vocation one way or another.)  

Otherwise in reality, if there were such a "hermit" observable as a hermit, saying he or she is a hermit, who is exhibiting traits and behaviors of a genuinely emotionally, mentally, or pathologically ill person, no one would take such a one seriously as a hermit. In other words, how would anyone even be known as a hermit if truly living in accord with the standards or requisites of hermit life and vocation from the period of the Essenes and even further back in history and forward through the Christian era to the requisites and standard basics being summarized and set forth in The Catechism of the Catholic Church?  

And, will there will be a time or has it arrived, when the historic, traditional form of hermit is no longer attempted due to the current promoting by the Church bishops as well as the growing incidence of diocese hermits, the created canon law  603 also promoted by dioceses and being accepted as the legal way to become a "Catholic" hermit?  While the traditional, historic, and not long ago only path or way of the hermit vocation--will it fall out of custom and become past history as it is not encouraged nor espoused by the clergy?  Nor is the historic traditional hermit vocation promoted by diocese hermits by virtue they chose the publicly professed and bishop-approved path, and being public and following precedents set, are visible as hermits in dress, name and titles, having been announced in dioceses and often nationally or in national publications of countries.  Additionally the Church membership at large is unaware of the hidden, silent, solitary privately professed hermit pathway and hermits themselves due to their remaining hidden and anonymous unlike the advertised diocese hermits whose often new names with religious titles are interviewed and presented in publications, as well as announced and spoken of by bishops and priests as Catholic hermits of "the Catholic hermit vocation"?

I wrote this to the hermit who I have admired for several years, when I discovered what had been written that was the most fair and decently accommodating of the hermit vocation in which otherwise, previously have been the only types of hermits, religious, at least, since any records or knowledge remains of those of which I am a remaining morsel among the others out there, living solus Deus, God alone, and striving in the basic summations of what is a consecrated Catholic hermit to live and be, now gathered and available to refer to in The Catechism of the Catholic Church.  Beyond that, there are the writings by and of the ancient hermits up through the 21 centuries, and the Scriptures, Old Testament and John the Baptist in the New Testament, as excellent guides with their lives and trials, and their guidance, from which to learn, be inspired, and encouraged.

I went through and edited (cleaned and made more clear) my thoughts and request for feedback from this diocese hermit, and I have personally noted that the hermit did update the earlier writing on hermits, and has been influenced some by the increasing trend of Diocese hermits and bishops predominating the hermit vocational scene in the temporal aspects of the Catholic Church at least for now.  Who knows how this will evolve and to what end--except for God Who often lets humankind devise their own hands-on desires to make and create more system, structure, and legalities?  However I did appreciate shortly after sending my essay letter to thus level-headed and spiritually mature CL603 hermit who is admirably living her hermit life admirably in keeping with the basics and what remains summed in The Catehcism, coming across the writings of St Ignatius of Antioch way back circa some years prior to his death around the year 110.  A bishop and martyr of the very early church, likely alive and part of the word "Catholic" being used interchanged with Church and thus Catholic Church came into the vernacular, this letter to the Magnesians, Chapter 6, 7, implores them to not tolerate division and warns of the dangers of divisiveness in the Church among Her Body, and in general.  Enjoy what gifts us some worthwhile consideration even in our personal lives!

Do all then, imitating the same divine conduct, pay respect to one another, and let no one look upon his neighbor after the flesh, but continually love each other in Jesus Christ. Let nothing exist among you that may divide you; but be united with your bishop, and those that preside over you, as a type and evidence of your immortality. As therefore the Lord did nothing without the Father, being united to Him, neither by Himself nor by the apostles, so neither do anything without the bishop and presbyters. Neither endeavor that anything appear reasonable and proper to yourselves apart; but being come together into the same place, let there be one prayer, one supplication, one mind, one hope, in love and in joy undefiled. There is one Jesus Christ, than whom nothing is more excellent. Therefore run together as into one temple of God, as to one altar, as to one Jesus Christ, who came forth from one Father, and is with and has gone to one.

Catholic Hermit: Hermit Communications

A strange aspect of being a hermit is the evolving nature of the vocation.  It should not seem strange, of course, for all of our lives we evolve--bodily, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.  Our vocations evolve, as well--single, married, consecrated life of church, ordained.

This aspect of my hermit life has occurred in the past:  that of how much correspondence and how often, and with whom.  There are three aspects I must consider in whatever communication (verbal or written.  The writing can include emails, blogs, and postal mail).   One aspect is what effect and good for His Real Presence, or the Holy Trinity:  Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  Another aspect is the person or persons with whom I am communicating.  And the third aspect is of myself.

Questions are necessary, when I get right down to the pith of communications.  Is what I am writing of benefit to any or all of the three involved in the communications?  Am I helping the other human being/s to live their vocations and to draw closer to Christ; am I helping myself to remain true to my vocation and to draw closer to Christ?  Am I glorifying God the Father, the Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit; am I fulfilling His will for me and others?

In the past year or two I've had to curtail my email correspondence with certain persons.  One involved someone much younger who really needed the help and guidance of a therapist and help with trying various medications.  Also, that person needed to develop friendships with other married young people and with other mothers, and to focus on her young family.  I had nothing more that I could repeat, actually, and the problems were increasing but also repetitive.  

My vocation is not that of therapist, and I really do not think the Lord (at least at this time or possibly ever) desires me to be a spiritual director of individual souls.  I am to pray, to praise God, to live my vocation, be a disciple of Christ, suffer, and write of the spiritual and mystical life I am living, as these and other facets unfold.

Another person I had to curtail was one who was becoming dependent upon me for other reasons than the above person.  This attachment on the person's part was hindering the person's own reliance upon His Real Presence as well as hindering confidence in that person's abilities to learn, to read, to pray and discern what and how the Holy Spirit divulges the sevenfold gifts--including knowledge, understanding, and wisdom.  As for me, I was becoming frustrated, and my own time and energy and thoughts were not as focused on what God wanted of me in my own spiritual growth and development.

Recently there was another situation.  This was one in which I allowed out of my own weakness in my increased suffering.  The more severe the suffering, the greater my temptation to have "easy" distractions rather than to "find Him in my pain" or to wait in the stillness of suffering with Christ on the Cross--to rest in the pain in silence and penance, or to praise God through psalms which are so strengthening to me in pain sieges.

I also was intrigued with having an email correspondence with a person who has mystical experiences.  At first I thought what a gift the Lord was providing.  But quite soon I realized that the content of discussing and/or answering questions regarding mystical experiences was not really necessary.  There are books or lives of mystics to read to gain whatever information helpful, although yes, I did answer questions that seemed to make sense and helped the person.

But then there developed a sense of the person becoming attached to corresponding, and while short emails, were becoming frequent.  And my flaw and weakness tends to be feeling as if I must respond when someone writes; and I am a writer, and as a writer, I can write and write.  Plus, writing is a form of pain distraction to me, as well.  So once again I can easily slip into chattering about this and that as a means of pain distraction rather than resting in the stillness of suffering, and silently clinging to Christ on the Cross, or to wait in silence--listening to what the Lord might desire to tell me in the intimacy of His and my shared agony.

Also, this person expressed he/she was fairly sure a hermit; and while had not made formal vows privately nor publicly, he/she had an experience of type of commitment to hermit life with the Holy Trinity.  Yet I was sensing loneliness in this person.  A good aspect of our correspondence, for me, is the realization that I am not at all lonely!  This reality pleasantly surprised me, for it took me by surprise. It is nothing I had considered, consciously or otherwise.  I am actually quite content being in the silence of solitude, hidden from the eyes of others, in general and specific, other than whom the Lord brings to me or me to them.

Thus, at first I did think the Lord had brought this person to me via this little window to the world--my laptop.  And perhaps He had; but it was to be but a relatively brief bringing and then a going.  There are lessons for each to learn.  I was hindering this person from discerning more a hermit vocation and living the spiritual life to the degree a hermit is called.  This means being alone but not lonely; attached to His Real Presence, the Holy Trinity--Father, Son, Holy Spirit.

I recommended the person be in more contact with spiritual director (more than two phone calls a year which the person mentioned) or a confessor to discern more carefully the hermit vocation, to discern if vows to be public or private, and to then develop personalized vows and rule of life.  Either way, public or private, then the person must profess also the three evangelical counsels and to live out what the Church asks of public or privately professed, consecrated Catholic hermits.  The graces to live the hermit life then will flow in abundance.  

God's strength will fill the person to help keep from temptation to attachments, to not be lonely, to desire to do spiritual reading which will bring answers, to have the Lord's additional company and communication through lectio divina (reading and pondering, meditating, on Scripture), as well as to be open to whatever way the Lord might utilize the person's hermit vocation.  Not all hermits remain hermits for life; there are many instances in history of the Church's hermits in which the Lord calls the eremite out of that vocation and back into the world for some specific purpose or life mission.

As for myself, I knew I was merely distracting myself with the on-going correspondence--although I realize in total it lasted ten days or so.  Seemed much longer.  I was becoming wearied of my responses, and weary of my own--wrong, it is--sense of obligation to respond, and weary of discussing the hows of mystical experiences for, again, there are answers to these questions and more in the books written by or about mystics.  And, the person's spiritual director could be called or seen in person, or the others who had helped the person in the past in explaining the mystical experience that is beautiful indeed. 

Then, also, I realized I am not prone to having people attaching to me, or trying to reach in and help or suggest this or that regarding my suffering.  That, too, wearies me for then I must explain more about the temporal aspects of the suffering as well as then explain that the suffering is also for a spiritual reason, and that no, there is not going to be a miracle healing for the Lord has purpose in this particular suffering, and yes, the surgery is necessary for not only spiritual reasons but definitely for temporal, physical reasons.  Yet, of course I understand and appreciate the kindness and desire to be helpful--but it simply was becoming a complication, a distraction, not good for me nor the other.

I must not hinder others in their spiritual lives nor their vocations, and I must not hinder myself nor my vocation.  Nor must I usurp the time and energy given me for praying, for suffering, and for fulfilling my mission.  In the past week since I ceased the extra emailing, I am noticing from the Holy Spirit increasing clues and assurances, and a direction in which to try, and to begin a means of fulfilling part of my mission.  My "shelf-life" is not long; time is passing.  I must focus on fulfilling these aspects of the mission the Lord sent me back (death experience years ago) to fulfill.

So even in corresponding, I recognize and accept that I can become what I call, being "over-peopled."  When this occurs, I take steps (and sometimes not that delicately) to explain the reasons for limiting or ceasing the interactions.  Actually, I've had people need to curtail me in the past--and I take it as a blessing from the Lord!  He knows when I need to be stripped down, curtailed, held back from too much attaching, too much over-people-ing others!

My purpose at this phase in my life is that of suffering mystic; the vehicle for my life and purpose is as consecrated Catholic hermit.  In earlier adult years, my life and purpose was that of human spouse and parent, and of course, mystic; then suffering single parent of children and mystic up until this later phase, perhaps my final phase.  Thus I must be true to what God wills of me as well as to in charity be true to and respect and encourage what God wills of others, once I see clearly, discern, and learn, also, from others what is their purpose and vocation in whatever phase of their lives.

[My mission is not quite synonymous with my purpose.  I am working out my mission with His Real Presence and with advisement, talking it over a bit, with a person or two whom God has provided.  The advisement regards the details of the what and how of what it is to try in fulfilling this mission.  The mission can require some "casting the nets in the water"--or stepping out in faith on the water, and the Lord then will take it from there.]

But back to hermit communications, all the above does not mean that I not communicate with others, that I not correspond via email and postal mail.  I do.  But it has to be what and with whom God chooses and wills, and for however long.  Yet I realize I now do not communicate frequently for lengthy periods of time, for the Lord has not willed that degree of communication from me with any one person.  No, it is more that the communication waxes and wanes and cycles in and out depending upon what are the other persons' spiritual needs.  

In times of crisis, there is likely to be more communication, back and forth; when the crisis resolves, then less.  Some will remain life-long correspondents, some not.  Those who remain life-long are chosen and ordained by the Lord to be thus, and me for them, as well.  We just never know for how long or for what purposes.  Correspondents can also weave in and out of one another's lives.  

For me, I doubt there will ever be a hermit with whom I will correspond; there simply is not that need.  The correspondents who now and then make contact with this consecrated Catholic hermit are not hermits, and they make contact for spiritual and practical purposes and needs.  Hermits generally turn to His Real Presence and their confessors or spiritual directors for guidance in their times of needs, in their crises, for their crises and needs are spiritual, or sometimes vocational issues.  Hermits turn to temporal specialists or family, friends for temporal needs and crises.  

I've turned to a family member recently to drive me to a medical procedure, to the parish nurse for locating some medical equipment for post-op recovery period and for meals after I return from hospital.  I've turned to various medical personnel including pharmacist, to line up medications I take--glaucoma drops, for example--so that I will have on hand what is needed during lengthy recovery time in which I will not be able to drive and handle my errands.  I will turn to two neighbor children to water the container gardens and mow the grass when I'm unable.  

Others turn to me for temporal type needs, as well.  In my case, I listen and encourage in whatever ways I am able, and I enter into whatever place or activity or concerns going on in their temporal, usually active apostolate lives.  These are people who are not hermits, not in the consecrated life of which those persons have a rule of life, have their vows to uphold, have responsibilities of living some form of horarium that is steeped in the practices and prayer, the ora et labora, of religious life.

I speak on the phone as I do when I correspond, in similar aspects of the temporal and spiritual.  While the phone calls are rare, I'm available.  Yet these current times provide rather good aspect for hermits as we have the benefit of texts and emails which are blessedly silent, may be read when we are not otherwise engaged, and the content can be concise.  Yes, concise is a challenge for me, as I am more a prose writer, not a headline journalist!

These are my thoughts on hermit communications....  I could write more, but this is more than enough.  God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit: Slowness; Wisdom Vindicated by Her Works

I did not write other than correspondence in the last week of Advent, Christmas, and following holiest of days including Holy Family and Mary, Mother of God worshipful observances.

Some thoughts I expressed in a letter involve "slowness."  Advent is slow and well to be slow in the prayerful, expectant waiting.  The on-going work of finishing this hermitage continues, as it must be sold; time is sifting and finances dissipating.  It is all a slow process, is finishing work; and the process is made all the slower by added pain considerations, as well as more correspondence and a few phone calls from people who desired a listening ear, a bit of advice, encouragement, and my promises to pray.

(I'm sharing with you some of the letter to my spiritual father.  My bodily pain is high after finishing some drywall mudding of a small, downstairs office/bedroom, with closet.  I tend to take the path of slowness in drywall mudding.  Some drywallers blade mud thick and then sand and sand--and tend to have electric drywall sanders with dust bags attached.  Others apply the mud in thinner coats, layer upon layer, using larger and larger blades, until the final result is that of the mud drying and having a feathered appearance.  Very little sanding is needed, thus.  Yet it is a slow process, requiring dry time between each layer of drywall compound.  Anyway, I am weary tonight; and while not necessarily the pith of my thoughts on slowness, the letter provides a "thin coat".)

"I love the statement of Jesus in the Gospel:  'But wisdom is vindicated by her works.'

"Yesterday morning I primed the widened hallway near the laundry closet.  There is a very tiny utility closet that I had framed in that hallway, plus instead of just lowering the ceiling under the stairs, I instead “wrapped” the beams of the landing above, with drywall, and all of that needed drywall mudding.  It was a tedious and lengthy job, particularly since I can only manage using my hand and elbow for one tray of drywall mud and using the drywall blade to apply it, about one time a day and sometimes not every day.  Over time, though, it got done.  That includes the tiny little closet in which I could barely fit up in it to mud every corner and juncture point, over and over, until smooth. Then to sand it all smooth--I needed to use a flashlight in order to see any imperfections requiring sanding!

"Yesterday afternoon, 'M' wanted to come and help me for a few hours.  I’d had a hard time thinking of what we could do, for I am so used to loping along in the pace I am able.  My mind is geared to doing all humanly alone, yet with the grace of God's presence and surely my angel and whoever else you might think is helping me, for all this is not of my doing, that is for sure.  I’m going along in blind faith, I suppose, and also in blind confidence in having to do what I’ve not done before.

"So M came, and she taped woodwork upstairs that I’d installed, and I caulked it all.  The tape is to keep the caulk from smearing on the walls and woodwork and  is to provide a clean line when the tape is to be removed. But I ended up having to re-caulk a lot of it, for the caulk seemed to stick to the tape and lift up when the tape was removed.  I will need to paint over all the caulked lines, next, and then due to the caulk slightly smearing, will take an artist brush and touch up all along the woodwork with wall paint. I don’t mind; it is easy and meditative but still more time which slows the finishing. 

"Then we painted a color coat of paint on the laundry hall and in the tiny, utility closet, and all around the various ceiling parts that I had not made simple as a low ceiling.  But my, it does look good—and interesting, that ceiling!  Wrapping the landing joists overhead makes the ceiling seem higher, which is always a good thing in aesthetics.  Plus the added unique design creates interest.

"M expressed as she was leaving yesterday, that she wishes I could finish faster.  I laughed and told her my dear spiritual father had written that he hoped I could finish by Christmas.  But alas, nearly 17 years ago after my private procession of hermit vows in a most beautiful ceremony, I was told the first three of what became nine S’. Yes, I had been told to try to go forth living out these three words:  Silence, Solitude, and Slowness.

"It is so inspired!  So it is that “slowness” is perhaps quite difficult to endure and with which to contend.  Slowness requires waiting, it seems: Waiting while yet existing, waiting while attempting to think or feel or do much of anything.  It is slowness that is required if one is to live in the Order of the Present Moment.  

"So I said to M that somehow the Lord is even making me work all the more slowly—such as the caulk coming up with the tape, thus requiring me to re-caulk and then later to do all that touch-up painting along the baseboards and all other trim around closet doors and such.  

"And I never know how my body will be when I wake up, such as today I had hoped to have had that laundry hall already painted a final coat, but rather I am still needing to rest the pained body, even with the low dose pain pill I took and a cup of coffee consumed.  At least I’m dressed, and I will do that painting yet today.  But there is always the chance that I’d have to wait another day….

"So slowness is something that is quite a teacher; and while yesterday’s boost brought more accomplished in here, I can only go at whatever pace the Lord allows.

"There is a song by a gifted song writer that has some lyrics that remind me of the two of us, as we wait and suffer in this temporal world.  

"'But the ending always comes at last. 

Endings always come too fast. 

They come too fast 

But they pass too slow….'  

"Since it is said that we are only here as pilgrims and all temporal things pass, I find it so true that as we age it seems time passes so quickly, but when we get to our later years and are more physically hindered, it all passes so very slowly.  Yet in the way we try to live in that slowness, how we live and accept slowness, is perhaps 'Wisdom reflected in her works'.

"I’m trying to have a blind faith as far as just passing each day as slowly as is required, for I cannot push more than my body or even my soul can push.  While I can seem to make great progress in some bit of work, there is always the potential for it to end up being slowed down by extra steps required; and there is always the reality that the Lord could allow some type of added suffering to keep me from doing, thinking, or consciously praying.  

"He is teaching and proving that He is in charge of time and the speed of passage, and of what one might complete or not complete, and when or not.  But the attitude we possess is something He notes and desires in the waiting and in slowness.  

"M was eager--perhaps a bit impatient--for me to get more of this renovation finished; and sometimes others have been that way.  And I used to be that way, impatient for progress to be swift and then frustrated when not.  And 'not' is the norm; slowness the norm.  Frustration ensues; and errors and calamities the result in desiring faster rather than accepting slowness.  

"Thus, slowness has become a comfortable friend to me, and I think you have known this friend, as well, for a long time.  Slowness is in Wisdom, and Wisdom is vindicated by her works.  When something is lived slowly, it is more subtle yet also more rich and impressive in some ways.  

"Another Scripture verse lends to this:  'It is in waiting [patience] that one shall possess one’s soul.'

"Anyway I’m ever grateful that I was told early on as a Catholic hermit to live in silence, solitude, and slowness."

To add to the above correspondence...the other day, someone sent a text message: All good things come to those who wait.  I'd forgotten that adage.  Another is:  Haste makes waste.  I'm just remembering now something Jesus told me in a vision over five years ago.  He told me to "Wait"--that He'd come back to take me with Him.  That ultimate, blessed waiting seems ever-so-slow!

Catholic Hermit's Been Too Harsh

Well, this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit responded earlier to one correspondent, and I mentioned that the person is imprisoned, is in prison.  It is a reality for various reasons, but the harshness of the term "prison" created a sense of sadness.  Or, at least the person reacted by becoming sad and wrote back, detailing how it is in her life, and that it is easier to not ruffle the human jailer's feathers, so to speak.

I also had not answered the question asked me earlier as to how to pray contemplatively.  So I responded, also trying to explain more about our own imprisonment and of being jailed and our own jailer, often enough.  I am to myself, truly; and I intend to live free in Christ.  I must.

Yet, in my response a bit ago, I could not yet bring myself to not respond.  But I must begin easing off my own imprisoning my mind, heart, and spirit (and a good bit of temporal time given us by God) in dealing with temporal details of prison life, for we are to think of God and of things above, not below.  Increasingly I am becoming sickened and wearied of things below; and this is a good thing!

I simply offer my response, for it maybe explains if any readers are having thoughts or questions about the various unhealthy marriages of which I have mentioned we need to seek and carry out divorces, to free ourselves from temporal prisons of which we've handed over God-given present moments, sometimes for years, to temporal jailers be they persons or thoughts, emotions or spirit.

Dear Z,

i suspected I may have been too harsh, too realistic about your marriage and S's daily harassment of you over small details.  Like not eating his pasta, your reading, your faith, your breath, your work, your gardening, your everything.  It is sad that he picks on you to that extent, but the reality of it has helped me realize today a lot about myself and spiritual progress.  Plus I have been helped by watching a documentary on the evolution of Brian Wilson's (Beach Boy musician-genius composer) great songwriting giftedness.  

I started to think about marriages in general--not just man and wife marriages, but my marriage with bodily pain, and how I do things in various "marriages" such as even my vocation, that are not freeing as well as aspects in my life I could simply stop doing. Like the negative thoughts in the morning, or my hindering myself by my own imprisonment to various types of my own "marriages" of my thoughts, emotions, and even my spirit or soul to details of daily life that are not freeing and not holy.

Then a young woman wrote an email of her frustrations, and I realize we all are kind of prisoners when we don't need to be at all!  Most can't easily get a divorce such as you from S, or R from her anger and frustrations that often are triggered from her past, or me from my body's union with temporal pain.  But we can rise above.  We can remove--divorce--ourselves from unhealthy "marriages" of thought, emotions, and spirit.

I am writing in my blog of these things.  There is no point in going over the various details of our frustrations, such as I have written a lot about my pain or renovation frustrations--all that stuff.  I received some ideas from Brian Wilson's integrating his observations of another song producer, and that Wilson then made a progression toward better music, better songs, and became a truly great artist.  I have now the insight that this pattern is very much for me or anyone to implement in the spiritual life.  This is the necessary God-pivot, once again.

Of course, the answer  to your question as to how to pray contemplatively is to ask the Creator of Contemplation to give you the grace of contemplative prayer.  A great aspect and condition of contemplative prayer is to not be thinking of or distracted by things below but to allow the thoughts to be lifted to that which is above the daily trials and temptations, the daily frustrations and details.  It is to free ourselves from the prisons we are in, and especially if we have just handed over the keys to earthly jailers. 

I did that when I gave certain priests or monsignors power over my being welcome at Mass or not, or when I agreed not to go to parishes if the priests did not want me there simply due to a mystical gift.  I submitted to what was not a holy request on the part of those who are supposed to be holy--but in those instances they were being unholy.

You have given over power to buy an excellent spiritual book you'd like rather than face your jailer's anger.  We do these things to ourselves, and then rationalize that we have other books to read, or whatever.  And I'm not saying that is a bad way to look at it; it is just how you've learned to react rather than to endure your jailer penalizing you even more.  I do similar in various ways, within myself, and at times become the jailer and the jailed, all in one prison! 

I give over power to pain in a negative way, or do not rise beyond the trials of the glitches that occur in construction efforts on this hermitage.  Even trying to put a frame around the small cellar opening has required more efforts, purchases of a special bit, and may need a more powerful drill.  But to dwell on these aspects of the temporal are bondage, not freedom.  When I God-pivot all the temporal details, then the soul is more free to wed Christ and produce beauty, truth, and goodness.  

It is even in such thoughts of God-pivoting that we find the seeds of contemplation.  When you free yourself from the belittling and control of the jailer to whom you've submitted all these years, and can raise your thoughts beyond him even at home, not even needing to go to adoration to do so, but within yourself where His Real Presence has set up His Abode in you, and then you set it up in Him, then that will be planting the seeds of contemplative prayer.  

It becomes the prayer once we divorce ourselves from human bondage by others and by our own thoughts, distractions, and frustrations from temporal details and trials.  And the more we are wedded with His Real Presence even if all around us is a prison of sorts, temporally, then we begin contemplation for we are no longer prisoners within as well as without.

I hope this helps!

Love in His Love--and start by freeing yourself from the reality that I mentioned, that your marriage is prison, for it is, but you can free yourself by your thoughts, emotions, and spirit marrying His Real Presence,.  S does not need to know a thing about your freedom, for he is a pawn more of the temporal for now, God bless him.  

I have to face that I have been in a bad marriage with my physical pain, allowing it to keep me imprisoned with emotions and thoughts that I have also allowed to affect my waking moments onward; or I allow imprisonment to this temporal dwelling instead of viewing it as a place of spiritual, creative growth and enforced manual labor that is positive and births marvelous insights from God.

Our temporal mental, emotional daily, distracting details really don't matter; it is our God-pivoting that matters.

Catholic Hermit: Correspondence

Some days, quite a bit of prayerful thoughts and writing go into correspondence.  Currently, a challenge for this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit is to not spend much time if any in responding to question or advice asked regarding temporal decisions.  

(Ultimately, discussing many details of temporal decisions in daily life is not at all what we are going to be worrying about on our death beds.  My mission is of the spiritual for others, not the temporal details that we can figure out, or if not, really won't matter.  Live and learn: we learn by making decisions on such things, ourselves.

If it is something dealing with a relationship or how our spiritual lives or the souls of others are impacted, that is different.  So it is that the other day I spent time responding to something written to me in an email, that also jiggled what is necessary for my own soul.  Perhaps it is good for anyone's soul.  It is another aspect of spiritual combat, of dealing with the devil--by not dealing too much, not dallying with every little skirmish of the devil but moving on with God-pivoting quickly and effectively.

I'm going to share some of what I wrote to the one who asked some advice.  The topic was of making a temporal, rather mundane purchase, at their phase in life.  I share what came out of the thoughts partly because it is a good reminder for this most spinal-headachy-hermit this morning.  I can easily think too much, write about (in the more rare verbal encounter) mundanities or decisions quite temporal and which could be handled effectively (and prayerfully, always), then let go. Free our lives for the spiritual, for thinking as God thinks, for that which is above, not below!

"Dear Z,

"I think we need to do far more God-pivoting.  If we know we are under assault, that is one thing; but we must not keep our attention on the things that show up, for there are going to be many every day.  We can even start looking for them, and why look for the devil?  So it is one thing to recognize we are in spiritual combat, which is really all the time; but it is the next and only holy step, to turn to God, to pivot, and learn to easily cast off the devil's involvements.

"This morning (my prayer started yesterday) I tried to make an act of the will to not wake up and have my first thoughts be how I wanted to be dead...and then thoughts of dismay over the workload here.  But the main trigger is the physical pain, waking up like that.  However, the habit of wanting to be dead and waking up with that thought, I need to try to stop. See how we feed ourselves on more of the devil just by our own choices of thoughts?

"So let L. go.  When you wrote that she said the house they are in has room for a garden and chickens, she did not say they HAVE a garden or chickens.  And people often talk aloud or share plans they have for travel, but things come up that they change their minds.  So we have to just let those things pass by and not make too much of it in our thoughts, or build more of a case against the persons involved, for what good does that do us, anyway?  What good does it do for you to have more negative thoughts, or to now be looking for things that might not be true or seem like stories made up, when it is just people thinking about plans they'd like but then changing their minds?

"I read a bit more in St. Teresa's Way of Perfection.  It had to do with suffering and sticking with the spiritual life, and realizing that those people having to be out in the world or being in both worlds, like parish priests have to interact with both the temporal and the spiritual--that it is very hard for them and to pray for them, and someone like me should be very thankful to not have so much to do with the world.  Good Lord, dealing with Lowe's cabinet order errors is more than enough for me!

"So we have to get our minds in more positive thoughts about God, as that is the God-pivot we need, to think of things above, not below.  It is one thing to recognize who is behind a lot of the stuff [the devil], but we also have to recognize that sometimes, like with me, my own negative thinking needs to be changed first thing upon waking, as example.

"Regardless of any of it, what good does it do me at all to think about it, to compare or to go over the issues that come up?  I need to learn to God-pivot a lot faster. It is all right to share the problems that come up each day, but I think it will be better for us to share the problems but then God-pivot to how the problems got solved, or how we dismissed the problems, or changed our thoughts from negative to positive, even if people are doing things wrong.

"And that is something for us to consider, that some of the devil's tricks include getting us to think too much of what the devil is doing, and not God-pivoting fast enough, so that some of what we do or think, then, is from the devil's influence and getting us to be negative ourselves!"

[I spare readers from four, too-lengthy paragraphs of comments and considerations regarding temporal issues the emailer had asked me about or mentioned.  I used personal examples to try to relate back with how we can try to overcome, but also I wrote details of how to solve certain temporal aspects that, truly, are not worth sharing and were not worth writing to begin with!  It has nothing to do with the soul; what matters is our spiritual progression. 

[So this is another thing I must learn as a consecrated Catholic hermit but perhaps more so as a Catholic Christian mystic:  stick with that which is above, not with what is below.  If something temporal is asked, answer simply--once.  The correspondence that responds to too many temporal details--a prayer instead would work wonders.  We don't do others or ourselves any favors by dwelling on temporal decisions or problems.  Who needs to know more of the cabinet glitch saga?  Lowe's manager is now doing his best to solve errors, I think, hope, and pray.  I must practice the God-pivot in the ordinary details of life.  Think as God thinks, for ourselves, and others:  Love and Mercy!] 

Catholic Hermit Correspondence: Suffering and the One Reality

Someone has sought information on what does a Catholic hermit "do".  Amidst various tangible and intangible activities or doing, this consecrated Catholic hermit corresponds with others from time to time.  The topics run the gamut of all aspects of our lives, yet always delving into the spiritual questions and understandings we gain over time and life experiences--trials and joys.  We learn, grow, pray for, support one another, and also we reflect upon God's reaching into our lives, and deep into our souls.  

Here is an example of this Catholic hermit's correspondence, shared as a sample mainly because the recipient though it quite helpful.  A good aspect, though, about thoughts, insights, ponderings that we set into written format, is that farther on in our life's pilgrimage, there arise other or additional insights, further understandings.  It is part of the holy spiral, with alterations in growth as prolific as the tiny, new threadling roots beneath the soil, or as the numerous branchings of fresh shootlings of tree limbs.

Dear K,

It was rather a grace to awaken at exactly 6 a.m. this morning.  Usually do not sleep that well to not wake up at 2 or 3 or 4 a.m. with pain issues.  So figure God is giving a grace so that I would be in prayer and rejoicing with you, in your time with M, to start at 9 a.m. for you, there, where you are.

Was it the chapter on the Cross--12--in the Second Book of The Imitation of Christ that you commented upon being difficult to embrace or accept, understand?  It is on suffering.  Find it to be so very accurate--yet difficult to embrace or want to accept because it goes so contrary to how we might want it otherwise.  But the fact does remain that Jesus said the very same things, in fewer words, and also by His life.  I need to remember how He surely must have felt--the human part of  him--when his own family thought He was crazy, and also in His grief in the Garden of Gethsemane--broken by treachery and so much suffering, weeping, and feeling abandoned.  Yet he endured it all.  Even on the cross He complained to the Father, in a way--asking "Why hast Thou forsaken Me?"  

My God!  My God!  We can cry this out, with Him.  I do, often enough.

I marvel at the saints having voluntarily taken on sufferings, though.  But it made sense when the author of The Imitation wrote that there is no escaping--that we try to run from one bad situation but the next can and likely will be worse.  That has been the case here; and I suppose some day looking back, whether on earth or not, I will see how very valuable this experience has been--if for nothing else, the great humiliation and humbling it has brought.

When the pain is not so intense, not as intense as a siege, I tend to be able to handle matters better--even the one who continues to try to demean and strip me of human dignity or credibility, temporally or spiritually, and of suggesting no place as a Catholic.  I can see it as very good, in fact, and so true as to what a twist in perspective can wring out of someone's mind to that which is actually the case, the truth. And also I realize that none of it matters, what is said or we may be judged by some, and can see the foolishness of being by some action of others, or thinking ourselves "approved" or "valid" when in fact, a person may not be (and likely not be) any more than anyone else, in God's Reality.

I do see the great divergence in the Church, though, and it seems no different than what the Jewish priests and people tended to dig themselves into, with their laws and their judging of others.  They so judged Jesus and had judged John the Baptist--other than some who admired him a lot, and of course, many more quiet ones loved Jesus and followed Him--causing the insecure others to get all the more riled.

So it seems that the world and the laws that people make up, sincerely hoping to help the worship or to keep things right and strict, only end up being abused and interpreted in whatever way suits the views of people and their wishes.  And that then causes more discord and takes the very rule makers and rule seekers and those thinking they are abiding by their rules, farther away from Christ and His teachings and life, than what was before.

Today is the feast of St. Francis of Paoli, a hermit.  He was in exile in an extreme way for six years or more.  He was not a priest but founded an order upon his way of life, which was also rather extreme but quite simple and thus freed him to be in Christ more fully.  Eventually, he did ask a bishop or pope or someone like that, to approve his rule of life--one that he wrote later on.  He had many gifts and graces bestowed by God; and for this, I marvel at how then, others can so question and judge anyone's life and circumstances.  

I realize how I have judged so much in the past, when I thought I was securely living out properly every temporal aspect in the Church, before I came to grasp the two worlds of the Church.  I remember Bishop X arguing the point that there is but one "reality"--even if he agreed to concede there are very much the two worlds.  Perhaps it is a problem to consider them all as one; for how can the temporal which is always passing away, truly be one with the eternal, which is of those aspects that are "above", as St. Paul asks us to think--that which is above and not below...or that Jesus said He did not belong to this world below but came from above.

Truly, it is when I get slogged down with the below and the things of the temporal, that the virtues tend to get weakened if not even lost--shot down by the temporal realities.  Then it is the grace of God and that which is of His Real Presence and not of this temporal world, that lifts up, once again.

So perhaps we fool ourselves.  Yes, we do enjoy the temporal beauty of a lovely church building and the temporal aspects of the Mass, or so we think.  We like a good priest and homilist, and the aesthetic qualities that are so beautiful in this world, and that are incorporated in worship.  But if it were not for the reality of the spiritual, the purity of the Holy Essence of the Mass, the one reality of the One, the Being, the Truth, the Way, the Life, the Living Word, His Real Presence--all the other would not have any kind of worth or usefulness.  

The passing temporalities are stepping stones if even that.  But when they become the emphasis, misconstrued as the One Reality, then the actual or One Reality gets skewed and our lives--our souls--falter.  There really seems to be only the One Reality, and that is God.  And the temporal is not a reality but is a means to and aspect of the one reality.  Seems like that, and when I forget that reality of the One Reality, the body, mind, heart, and spirit then gets messed up and side-tracked.

When I can view the intricacies of fitting plumbing ABS pipe and elbows in order to achieve the proper venting for flow of sewer off-gas, to rise eventually out the roof, as stepping stones or a passing temporal process, then I can have peace and a kind of joy in plumbing as the process points to the one reality, for there really is just One, and that is:  God Is All.  And that Reality, His Real Presence, is single and solo yet in Three-ness.  The temporal is an aspect of the One, a symbol in tangibles for us when we are not yet capable of the fullness of the One Reality, of the spiritual, the mystical essence and substance of the humanly, unfathomable reality in His Real Presence. 

Perhaps rather than fearing and not being comfortable with the way my mind leaves and blacks out from the temporal when the pain becomes so intense, I should consider it more a participation in the One Reality, His Real Presence, in His Spirit, or as an ecstasy wrought of pain, of sorts, for I am no longer then tied to the temporal which is passing away, not the eternal, ever Present One Reality.  

There is nothing spiritual about pain and suffering in itself.  But there is everything good and spiritual about it as a stepping stone or a temporal aspect of the One Reality which is God.  And no matter how hard we try, we cannot ever accurately name or create any temporal description of God.

In that sense, we can place suffering very close to God.  In the many temporal ways we try to make rules and laws in order to control matters of God, or create medications to try to manage or control temporal pain, they only keep us farther from His reality--a reality we really cannot temporally control or name.

Oh well.

Praying you and M are having a wholly and holy spiritual love together, today!

God bless His Real Presence in us, and Love in His LOVE,