The mind is a-flutter with wondering what next and where and how. Then remembered the cloud analogy. There are many clouds today, woven as a blanket; no, more like a washed, concrete ceiling. Regardless, if we could put our hands up and touch, we'd keep reaching and touching and touching and reaching--never stopping. We'd never feel or be stopped by the ceiling.
Seemed the best thing to do rather than despair over the financial trials, the energy of body trials, the realization that this place is not nearly finished and not salable, and lots of work to be done before any hope of moving on, and not wanting to move on but facing being stopped by the ceiling. Or floor.
So this situation here is not like the clouds. But the reaction to and dealing with it is like we deal with the clouds. We notice them sometimes, but not really too much. We don't bother trying to touch them for we know we cannot, not really. Yes, we might feel the cool and moist or be bathed in water drops if we could put our hands or bodies inside a rain cloud. But we aren't in a rain cloud usually, unless in an airplane flying through.
The best thing to do is to just try to keep working on the place and know that the clouds will be totally different another hour or day. That is the way to deal with life's trials, too. Just keep the nose to the grindstone, praying all the while, sensing the beauty of the created world all about, and accept that the clouds come and go. And so must we.
We are changing all the time, as is all else living and created...clouds, and even stones.
Can't find the construction stapler. Need it to staple the felt paper to the old flooring up here so can screw down the plywood sub-flooring. Prayed and prayed, looked and looked: still no stapler. Last time used was when Francisco helped staple the insulation in downstairs ceiling. We each had a stapler. Found the staples, just no stapler, not yet. Will keep praying and trying to locate.
Humility, humility, is all about us. It is like the clouds, present and there, visible moisture at a distance but quite willing to gift into our souls, our inner moist and warm and welcoming souls. Let us hope and pray our souls are welcoming to humility. Pride is its only obstacle.
In thoughts on humility this morning, amidst the tears and questions as to how this life can be so difficult sometimes. How on earth, literally, is this tired nothing Catholic hermit going to finish this dwelling so can sell it, yet have enough income to remain for the long time it takes this old hermit to do so much manual labor? The thoughts blew about the mind like frantic winds. Then came the thought: Do or die.
That is humbling. It does come down to this, does it not? So lined up the medication bottles in a row, and stirred some stoic effort and stated: Do or die! Yes, Lord, it is do or die time. So humbling! And the obvious action is to do! Even if one feels as if it has lived all the cat's nine lives, one must get up, shake off the bodily pain, dress, eat something (thankful for food), and get to work.
Too tired to even try to sell off the supplies, so had better work with them and use them and have the place any bit farther along in finished effect. As for setting a four-month deadline to finish...the psyche balks at that. Seems too impossible. Remember the clouds? Could we possibly tell the clouds to be in a certain location or formation four months from now? Hardly and not!
That, too, is humbling. We actually have no more control on the moment after this next one, than we do in grabbing a cloud or in making one do as we wish or think would be best.
Humility is being a cloud. Seems so. Clouds are given titles. There is the generic title of "cloud" that God has inspired in the naming. Then someone came along and was organized and scientific-minded, and decided (was inspired by God) to give the types of clouds titles--distinguishing each from another type. We had to learn those names as children in science class, perhaps around fifth grade. Four types, it seems, and probably more now. We people keep thinking up more and more distinguishing aspects. These can be useful to scientists and good to memorize for the discipline of expanding knowledge and stretching the mind.
But the overall title of "clouds" suffices for most of us. We don't usually even consider the clouds but keep our heads down more and more, into technology and into work that has us indoors a lot, and not looking up to the heavens. Seems like to the clouds, having a title probably means nothing at all. Don't know if God needs them to have a title; probably not, other than as a gift to us to help us appreciate more and identify this or that, by giving all things and thoughts, names.
Underneath the names, though, humility can be all about. Up above our earthly trials, humility can be all about. Deep within our pained bodies and our seeking souls, humility can be all about. It can come all of a sudden or be like a blanket, or like that washed, concrete ceiling--a cloud itself can be the humility all about our souls!
(Maybe in addition to love, humility is friends with faith.)
Now, to have another look about for that stapler. Do or die!
God bless His Real Presence in us, little children! Let us love one another and love the clouds! Humility, humility is all about! See it if we can; always accept and let it into our souls!