Catholic Hermit: St. John Damascene Wisdom

I appreciate this reminder in some wisdom offered by St. John Damascene, Doctor of the Church, a monk and theologian of late 7th and early 8th century.  He wrote On the Orthodox Faith I, I:

"No one has ever seen God.  The only Son who is at the Father's side, has revealed him" (Jn 1:18).  Divinity is inexpressible and incomprehensible; "No one knows the Father except the Son, and no one knows the Son except the Father" (Mt 11:27) and, similarly, the Holy Spirit knows what is of God.... But following this original, blessed divine knowledge, no one has ever known God except those to whom God has revealed himself...."

Now, some have "seen" Christ in visions, but seeing and knowing are different aspects of divine encounter.  Some have "seen" God in essence of some form in death experiences, but our "knowing" God and the Christ and the Holy Spirit come from God's revelation to us, and this revelation comes in many forms and formats.

That St. John Damascene emphasizes that it is God who reveals Himself to us, helps us understand the value of making ourselves available to God.  It is so easy to miss recognizing or being aware of God's revealing Himself to us.  We must understand that there are ways and means of us making ourselves available to God making Himself known to us, such as being at Mass, before the Tabernacle, in the lectio divina--the personal and holy reading and mediating of His Living Word, the Bible. 

We can avail ourselves of God's revelation of Himself to us by being with people of great faith--in person and in reading great writings of holy people who knew God while on earth because God revealed Himself to them.  We can make ourselves open to and accessible to the self-revelation of God to us by offering ourselves fully to Him--in the fullest abandonment possible for us at whatever phase of life we are in. 

We can repeat our offering of ourselves to God as many times as we desire, for the degree to which we are offering ourselves expands and grows greater with each offering.  In faith, we make ourselves available to God in love of God in Himself.  We wait, in faith, for His revealing Himself to us with increasing, loving anticipation.  Our hearts, minds, and souls desire knowing God; even our bodies yearn for God to make Himself known to us, more and more.

St. John Damascene continues:

"Nevertheless, God does not leave us in total ignorance since each one of us possesses the knowledge (sown by him) that God exists.  Creation itself, by its cohesiveness and direction, proclaims the splendor of the divine nature (Rm 1:20).  Then the Law and the prophets and, afterwards, his only Son, the Lord, 'our God and Savior Jesus Christ' (2Pt 1:1), have made known the knowledge of God according as we can understand it.  That is why we receive and understand and give ourselves to everything handed on to us by the Law and prophets the apostles and evangelists.  We fix our devotion on that and do not look beyond it."

Someone emailed of exasperation and righteous indignation at a spouse who asked about buying yet more broken down mopeds to repair (has not repaired even one, to date).  The person said no to the spouse; they are out of room in their garage and storage sheds, their house is stock-full of various items all about.  The thought comes, the reality is, that the spouse has not a relationship with Christ.  The spouse is not open to the faith and has not been. 

There is an emptiness within such minds, hearts, and souls of knowing God; rather their minds and hearts and souls have become filled with grasping after earthly items--such as broken mopeds.  The emptiness is filled in with a physical representation of our own broken lives, broken by temporal hoarding and gluttony that we hope will fill in what our soul senses is lacking but the mind and emotions cannot admit.

How can God reveal himself to our emptiness when we glut our mortal and spiritual emptiness with items of the world--be they worldly thoughts, images, or tangible items?  Yet, sometimes, on occasion, even then the Lord has revealed himself to such souls.  I think of St. Paul or a few other saints who were blessed and most fortunate that God chose to reveal himself to them despite their resistance or lack of desire or their ignorance.  They are the fortunate few, but what a risk to take!

I reminded the person who wrote of the sad situation of the spouse's choices of filling in with things--yes, the irony that they are broken things--and being staunchly yet resistant to accepting or wanting to know God.  It is the knowing of God that God desires and wills for us and why he chooses to reveal himself to us!  To know God then, is to love God. 

All the person can do, and any of us Christians can do, is to pray that God reveals Himself to us, to ask God to reveal himself to us more and more, and for those resistant and ignorant of the indwelling of God when He reveals Himself to us, is to live as an example to others and to pray for them: Father, forgive them for they know not what they are doing."

This additional, inspired thought written by St. John Damascene is one which I find particularly uplifting yet also practical:

"God is good; he sees to it that all is well.... Since he knows everything and provides what is suitable for each, he has revealed to us what we need to know [and have, I add] and kept from us what we cannot bear.  Let us be content with that, then, and remain in it."

God bless His Real Presence in us!

May "this day" be one in which I renew my offering of self in full abandonment (as much as I am capable of abandoning of my self in this day) to God.  May "this day" be the one in which I pray all the more that the light of Christ shine in me so that I see what is in me to be discarded so as to be yet more open for God to reveal Himself to me; and may the light of Christ shine in me, then, in a way that others might have God reveal Himself to them, through His revelation of Himself in me.  Amen!

Catholic Hermit: Hermit Praising God

Seems as if when the trials of this temporal life try to take our bodies, minds, and hearts into prayers of petition, it is far too easy to neglect what is the highest form of prayer, and that is the praise of His Real Presence:  the Most Holy Trinity.

I'm sure as Jesus is praying for us constantly, He is also praising His and Our Father, and the Holy Spirit of eternal love.  Yet today I'm reminded, now that the lumbar pain of body has eased more than in quite awhile, to turn my mind and heart and soul to praise of the Holy Trinity:  His Real Presence.  

I can begin by praising Jesus and thanking Him for praying for me constantly--such as yesterday.  I had the spinal steroid injection, being given a Xanax for sedation prior.  I understand why, but what a nasty medication (yet to those whose anxiety depends upon such medications, it is a gift!).  In my situation, the doctor could not risk even a flinch of movement, or he could easily insert the needle into a nerve or the spinal cord itself.

During the procedure, I can only recall that I was going on about praying pain and how pain is a powerful prayer.  I also got into insights in pain sieges, and shared with the doctor and the assistant in the room, how deeper conversions is a prayer the Lord will always answer, as well as the insights on temporal hopes being but human wishes and desires--positive thought they might be--but that Hope in God is the eternal hope, the true hope, and of which being a theological virtue, the hope always available to us in its perfect outcome, always within us for our utilization.

It is perhaps a bit humorous what comes out of us when partly sedated--what comes out.  But this pain doctor has in past discussed spiritual and scriptural topics.  I had already explained to him prior to the Xanax taking effect, a bit more what is a spinal headache, how awful it was on Sunday when I could not take even an Excedrin to try to ward it off, but that I offered that pain of several hours for the doctor and his family.

I do recall during the spinal injections (one on each side of spine--L-2,3) that the doctor asked me who was the first disciple to follow Jesus.  "Andrew!"  I then went into how in my current locale there is a canal behind, and a heron whom I've named Andrew.  He comes to fish early in the morning.  (In a previous hermitage there was a small subdivision pond, and also a heron I named Andrew.)

Praise God we can be ourselves without excuse!  In yesterday's situation, if it seemed odd to the doctor or especially perhaps his assistant, a PA named Drew (Andrew?), they could chalk it off to the Xanax.  For me, it was a delight, for I delight in speaking of whatever the Lord is teaching, such as the prayer for deeper conversions, the Hope in God, the power of prayer pain and pain prayer, or tidbits of Scripture that we joyfully weave into our daily, temporal lives.

(For example, the second bedroom from end of hall upstairs is dedicated to priests.  The first room is for the angels.  I'm going to put the ironing board in the priests' room so as to consider "ironing out" the problems of errant priests as they are confronted with many temptations in their vocations, and there have been far too many scandals and of course, a shortage of priests in this country.)

Yesterday within an hour of my daughter getting me back into my hermitage and onto the bed (this room is called the Resurrection Room), a headache developed.  Eight hours later and having tried all the Excedrin with half an ale, muscle relaxants, pain meds, anti-nausea med--bit by bit, waiting and seeing if any of them would have effect--I texted the daughter to please return.

I'd called the on-call doctor of the pain clinic; he said not to try any more meds for obviously they were not working to rid out the intractable and horrible headache.  Ended up being taken to the emergency room, and after going through all the symptoms and past history, and what all was tried on my own, I received two injections of two types of sedative medication.  By midnight was back at the hermitage, on the bed, and soon after konked out.  Praise God!  

Today I've been dozing yet up a couple times to go out and water some plants on the patio.  Praise God in Heaven and on earth!  The lumbar is loosened and can bend over without terrible pain.  Praise God if it is from the spinal injections or the sedative injections or a sheer miracle that His Real Presence deigned to grant!  Praise God also that I did receive a call yesterday from the surgeon's staff that my appointment has been moved up two weeks, so I have but 6 days instead of 20 to wait.

I'm praising God for the vast reservoir of HOPE that is within my soul, of which I'm certain my angel yesterday and last night was immersing me.  I do realize that FAITH is the theological virtue more analyzed, of which more is written by theologians--faith and love both.  But Hope in God is powerful to me in ways never before had I even considered.  What a GIFT!  Praise God the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit for God's HOPE so immensely available to us, always!

Going through one of those headaches of which I've not had to that degree in YEARS, had I not had the recent insight about Hope in God--well, I'm not sure how I'd have made it through with the peace of Christ and the strength of the Holy Spirit, with the love flowing from the Father with the Son poured into me by the Holy Spirit.

Praise the Holy Trinity!  Praise His Real Presence!  My heart sings with praises of thanksgiving!

Praying deeper conversions that I enter into praising Father, Son, and Holy Spirit increasingly, into a constancy of affection and love of God in Himself, with that love flowing out perfectly to love of all others, love of this temporal life and world, love of the heavenly realms, the angels, the saints, the glory of God.

Catholic Hermit: Octave of Easter, Divine Mercy Gifts!

How the Lord blesses us!  The more this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit adapts and accepts increasingly the Lord's unfolding of this life--each of our lives--the more we might notice, see, hear and accept the gifts that He often gives us--particularly on those days of great Christ-holiness.

On these days in which aspects of Jesus' birth, life, death, resurrection, ascension, and bequeathing the Holy Spirit--in addition to those persons in His life and ministry whose days on earth are remembered and lived anew in us--Jesus gifts us in so many special ways.

Of course, every day holds many blessings imparted by the Trinity and the many holy souls and angels who love us very much.

So it is that this Lent, this hermit has noticed increasingly the reality of the blessings, the gifts, the graces from His Real Presence and His emissaries of Divine Love.  And during the Triduum and especially Easter, more gifts given.  Then on Divine Mercy Sunday--additional graces and reminders of years' past, of particular, loving graces and gifts given.

And yes, the more we recognize and appreciate, the more we openly and lovingly accept all that God wishes for us.  He delights in gifting His beloved children!

I noticed someone made a comment relative to friendship.  The person said that friendship is a two-way street, and if the person wishes another a good day, is it not right and correct for the other to respond and wish likewise?

Others responded with agreement, and one other responded that we should not have expectations of others, of friends, or of what friendship ought to be in return for our friendship offered.  I thought about it some, as I, too, consider that while we are very human and of course want friendship to be returned when we offer a kindness, but there is, once again, the reality of the temporal and the spiritual views and realms.

These are my shared thoughts on the matter:

I suppose in the spiritual life--that of life in Christ--we hear Him remind us to serve, and to love God in Himself, and to love others as God loves.  He asks us to love and serve in love, unreservedly, mercifully.  However, it has been amazing the people who have told me they love me, such as siblings, yet do not answer a phone call in nearly 13 years, nor rarely respond to emails or if so with little content other than mentioning loving me, nor do they remember a birthday.

Reminds me, also, of when my earthly spouse left, rather cruelly so, and wrote to my dad of all that was wrong with me in my spouse's estimation, and then added that [the spouse] loved me.  My dad responded to the letter, writing back that if this was love for me (and our children), my spouse certainly had an odd way of showing it.

So the temporal view and the spiritual view for those of us who follow Christ, must increasingly be to the spiritual view with increasing selfless understanding and holy detachment, yet with much love and mercy.

We continue to reach out, to pray, to remember such human aspects as birthdays and to share our lives in some degree or other, in whatever appropriate ways.  We may stop trying to make a phone call or share less depending upon the reception or none, as there are always others who God places in our lives who desire and need more of what we can offer.

I suppose in the spiritual realm of the Way, Truth, and Life--to live in Christ is perhaps more a one-way-street:  Following Jesus as He lived and lives yet, and loving as God loves, difficult as that is for us to do sometimes!


In this hermitage, I continue to be in drywall mudding mode.  The coughing continues but to be expected even when wearing a mask during sanding and clean up phases.  There is otherwise so much dust in an old place being remodeled, that results of a recent lung x-ray are not surprising.  No active pneumonia but signs of interstitial lung cell hardening, indicative of COPD and also thoracic degenerative disc disease.  Typical, these findings, of chronic and age-related issues.

Granted, four years living in rough circumstances can affect the body; but what difference does it make compared to all that has benefited the soul?  There is not growth without some growing pains.  There is not spiritual progression without sacrifice.  There is not learning to love God in Himself and to love others as God loves, without learning to detach from fear of not being loved by others, nor being accepted by this temporal realm.  

Fear is the flip side of faith, the Lord once told me, years ago.  He followed up with a dream in which I was fighting a grizzly, old woman who in the dream was said to be fear.  And then I was shown that to conquer fear is a quest and process; the victory comes with faith overcoming fear.

This quote I heard a month or so ago.  I was listening to a priest preaching a sermon live-streamed by Eternal Word Television Network.  [I have since not been able to live-stream EWTN due to the stream breaking every 3-4 minutes--not practical to get off ladder or to put down mud tray and wash hands in order to get the stream up and running again.]  The quote has stayed with me, although paraphrased when I first heard it:  A coward dies a thousand deaths; the brave die but once.

I mention "first heard it."  Well, doing some research, I discovered that William Shakespeare is the author of the quote, and I've read it in the past and heard it at a Shakespearean Festival as the playwright had Julius Caesar speak the words.  Shakespeare penned it thus:

"Cowards die many times before their deaths.
The valiant never taste of death but once."

Seems relevant to many aspects of our lives, especially our spiritual lives, our spiritual journey, our spiritual progression toward loving God in Himself and loving others as God loves.  To exist in fear rather than in faith is to die as many times as we fear.  To live by following in faith, Jesus Christ, is to let go of fear and to live fully in the present moment, disregarding whatever might hinder by what and where and how faith leads.

The other day in the Gospel selection for Mass, Jesus explains that we do not know from whence wind comes, nor do we see the wind or know where it is going next.  So it is with our belief in God, that we may not see Him, do not know from whence He came or where He leads, but to have faith and believe in God and in Jesus as the Son of God assures us of eternal life with God.

We are each and all going to die of something.  Let it not be of fear many times over in this life time.  Let us live in faith and die but once to this world--yet die to ourselves as often as need be in order to have life in Christ and have it abundantly.

The couple returned on Divine Mercy Sunday with Communion.  I thanked them once again for their offer of time, energy, and expense in order to bring His Real Presence.  I have accepted that the Lord is not opening the door for a physical return to Mass, not at this time.  The couple continues to not interject otherwise, and the priest certainly did not encourage.  I remain in an exile that has become one of spiritual renewal, grace, and unexpected holy expectancy.  May God be praised!

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Let us love God in Himself and others as God loves!

Catholic Hermit: Building an Altar for God

Each day of our lives, there is always a newness to the Living Word of God.  A few days ago, I noticed something I'd not particularly pondered in the familiar Old Testament Book of Genesis.  The account of Noah and the ark, concluding with the Lord saving creatures in His creation--well, I never noticed this one little line:

Noah built an altar for the Lord.

He did so in celebration.  Noah desired to honor and thank God for saving creation, for having the flood waters recede, for man's being once more firmly footed on dry land, for surviving when so many did not.

Then I read portions of Psalm 116:

How shall I make a return to the LORD
for all the good he has done for me?
The cup of salvation I will take up,
and I will call upon the name of the LORD.

My vows to the LORD I will pay
in the presence of all his people.
Precious in the eyes of the LORD
is the death of his faithful ones....

This nothing consecrated Catholic hermit wonders at the Lord's love and patience for us.  Just the breath we take is good that God has done, let alone all the times we have been protected and provided for in ways we may not consciously notice.

Why is the death of God's faithful ones precious in His eyes?  I wonder at this and consider that God views spiritually, mystically, eternally; He sees into hearts and knows the depths of our souls.  The death is the dying to ourselves, the letting go of our insistences and self-convictions that we are somehow in control of creation and of our very lives.  Pride must die; humility must live.  Faith in God is precious to God and also to those around us who are affected by our lived example in the details of everyday life.

Perhaps our making a "return to the Lord" for all the good He has done for me resides in my faith in Him and very much in my desire and attempts to love God in Himself, as Himself, and loving others as God loves.  He loves us for ourselves.  He loves us and finds us precious because we are His to love.  

When we believe in God--simply believe He is our Lord and Savior, believe he is God--we please Him.  When we place God as our all and die to our own tendency to dominance and pride, we are all the more precious to God.

So each day I am considering in what ways I can build an altar for the Lord.

Yesterday I did so by driving two hours each way into civilization to spend an hour with a daughter who does not keep in contact much.  In fact, I would not have known she was in the vicinity had it not been for my inept attempt to leave a Valentine message of my love for her, always, on her voicemail....and a spark of intuition from the Holy Spirit that gave a nudge within that maybe she was near.

Today I am going to build a ceiling cover for an attic space opening.  This will be a type of literal "altar" for God in thanksgiving for His love and protection.  Yesterday when dropping the daughter off at the airport, a desire to give her a loving hug good-bye distracted me, and for the first and hopefully only time ever in my driving history, I did not put the truck in "park".  Thankfully, my daughter noticed; what could have been a horrible injury to someone removing luggage from their trunk in front of us, was averted, for my truck was on a slow roll.

But more so than thanksgiving to God, building an altar to God is an act of creaturely love for our Creator.  To me, constructing a wood ceiling board covering for the attic access opening represents the portal through which our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls have a spiritual opening to His Real Presence: God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  This reality is like an ark experience, all the time; we are ever loved by God and His mercies are endless.

We just open the portal within, that opening of eternal access from our temporal lives to His mystical realm, any time and hopefully, increasingly, all the time.  We can build an altar for God with a thought, with an object-metaphor, with words, with our hearts exuding loving affection, and with unseen faith in Him.

We can build an altar for God with a kind word or smile, with a reminder that we can love others no matter how they feel about us, that we can learn and help others learn in our lives in which all is a learning process--learning to love and loving learning to love God in Himself and others as He loves.

The cabinet installers are coming soon.  The one young man, learning the trade, had difficulty accurately marking where to drill for cabinet door knobs.  He also had difficulty drilling a hole on the mark made--mis-marked in most cases.  How do workers learn a trade if not by practice but also being taught ways in which to maximize success?  It is like loving God and others--we learn as we go along; we learn on-the-job of living life itself.

So I am praying that he will not take offense, nor the young man who is already extremely skilled.  I admit that I've put off installing knobs in the bathroom cabinets; I know how difficult.  So I got a template to use, to make sure the marks are accurate to begin with.  And I will use a tiniest of drill bits to first make a pilot divot hole, and then use the more difficult 1/8" drill bit to bite into the little divot hole and thus hope (and pray) for better accuracy!

I removed the many knobs not measured correctly so that perhaps the young man will see visually, or will be willing to use the template in future rather than a tape measure for such precision marking.  We shall see.  If I could impart how many times I've had to re-do construction aspects in here, or make amends and learn more tips on how to better do many things in life, perhaps he will see that we truly are in this life together, and helping others to learn and to succeed is all about love.

Maybe building an altar to the Lord has to do with building a holy and thankful offering in all ways: an altar of Love.

Catholic Hermit Learning Love

We think, perhaps, we grasp love, but this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit is ever reminded that love is fluid and learning love flows without end.  We never cease learning love if we continue to seek love..and to learn to love.

I am in a high-level pain siege.  In the past three years, the low back pain recycles itself every so often--three weeks, six weeks, a couple of months.  The body can only sustain so much constant pain until it gives out. This happens without notice mostly, although sometimes I get warning dreams.  I had one such dream this time, a week ago.

So the pain siege hit in the early hours of Saturday last.  For a full day I thought perhaps I had some terrible flu virus.  But over the decades I've learned that usually the symptoms, even if they vary, usually end up it being out of control pain from the spine, specifically the low back which was the main point of injury in the accident.

Three years ago the pain began radiating into the intestines.  A year ago it radiated into the liver area, although more scans will ascertain if there is something more wrong with the liver.  I tend to think there could be, but yet again, all suffering seems to be rooted in the painful spine.  This includes the neck that was also injured, and thus the constant headache; and when the pain flares, it is a horrific spinal headache.

So this time the pain caused high fever, chills, aches, burning eyes, difficulty standing or taking steps as the intestines and stomach were so inflamed it was agonizing with each step.  Soft tissue pain can be tricky....

I'm on the fourth day of being on the mattress.  Today I hope to have the strength to make some potato soup with chicken bone broth base.  We will see.  The liver area is so painful even now, that it will surprise me if the Lord grants the stamina to cut the onions, celery, and tiny red potatoes.  We shall see.  I pray so.  I had hoped today I'd be back up and able to do some work--finish the custom-fit pieces of wood for completing the ceilings.

While laid out, this time I distracted by doing something I've not done previously.  I watched movies on YouTube.  It did not matter if I drowsed for I could later go back to what I recalled before dozing.  And I cannot say that any much of the details of the scenes and plots or even the names of the movies remain--and they do not need to remain.

My purpose and intention is to explore aspects of love.  This must be accessible such as when reduced by pain which places one on the cross and negates complexity.  I found some movies that most would consider B-movies or lesser-known, for sure.  I located sweet movies, loving movies, movies with themes of redeeming at-risk relationships, forgiveness, seeking God, seeking love, righting injustices, persevering through hardships: by those learning to love.

I filled my eyes and ears and thus also my inner eyes and ears and soul with these loving, sweet, visual and audio repetitions of inspiring love.

For I've been praying yet again about my God-given purpose on this earth, as well as if I am on track.  Plus, with the hope of finishing the hermitage before my financial shelf-life ends here, that I will have an indication of where and what God wants of me next.

I am convinced it has to do with love.  Love God in Himself; love others as He loves us.

I have wondered if my gifts of writing and desire to further any God-given abilities to illustrate or photograph ought be the focus of what comes after this, should I live through this phase of earthly existence.  The past three days of love-themed movies absorption has me all the more realizing that when it is all said and done, that to love, to love to learn to love, is the bottom-line and upper reaches of existence.

Today's Scriptures remind me yet again of what can be a pitfall to learning to love, especially what is primary for our souls: love of God in Himself.

In Matthew 7, 1-10, Jesus observed the hypocrisy of high priests and those devout worshippers of God.  He observed some of their words and actions; they had become devoted to traditions and laws created by their minds which caused interference with the sweetness of devotion to God in Himself.

Jesus spoke to them on this side-track from the spiritual progression to union with God by quoting verses of Isaiah who prophesied the Word of God:

This people honors me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me;
in vain do they worship me, 
teaching as doctrines human precepts.

Jesus then drives His point so that the people will not be left in any confusion, without any doubt, of what God desires of us.

"You disregard God's commandment [to love God with all our strength, mind, heart and spirit and others as ourselves] but cling to human tradition."

"How well you have set aside the commandment of God
in order to uphold your tradition!...

"...You nullify the Word of God
in favor of your tradition that you have handed on.
And you do many such things."

None of us in in the exact same place in our spiritual progression.  Somehow it is as if God is showing me all the more to simplify, to make a right turn and head off into that which is more of the heart and to release my mind from heavier studies of which I used to drive myself to read as well as to encourage others who, as I realize now, were living more love in daily life than trying to force into the mind from between the pages of books too difficult for them to easily grasp.

Now, this does not mean that I will give up reading from the marvelous collection of rare and treasured writings of the greatest of mystics, spiritual masters, and scripture scholars.  But I doubt I will read many.  For one thing, they are boxed in the pole barn these past four years, and pain and hardship in living conditions have honed my purpose, have reduced my existence to a more gentle and easy yoke:  to love, to love to learn to love.

This means to learn to love God in Himself by learning how God loves.

Recently I received a treasured letter from my spiritual father.  He was reflecting upon his life and vocation as a priest.  He is struck by awe in  noting that St. Paul wrote about discovering how much God loved him.  My spiritual father, my spiritual soul friend, expounded yet briefly, in how much he realizes God has blessed him and loves him.

Ironically, at about the same day on earth, I was coming to this realization in my own mind, heart, and soul.  It was the little introduction to St. Bernard's book of Sermons on the Song of Songs which turned me once more to the reality of Jesus asking me to simply remain in His love.  Even now, with the physical pain prohibiting me from an ounce of comfort bodily or even mentally (for pain leaches not only into our bodies through nerve endings but makes its mark on our minds), my heart and soul can, at least, quite readily, remain in His Love.

With some prayer and letting go of what my mind might want to make my body "do" or "think" today relative to the temporal world, my heart and soul can take His yoke upon me as it is easy and light.  Love is easy and light once we let go of the restrictions, the plans, the opinions and laws our minds have created--and that includes letting go of what laws other minds may have created and formed into traditions that instead of freeing us to love God in Himself, have turned our efforts toward a forced and formulaic existence.

When we remain in His Love and love God in Himself, we are in a stream of love that outflows to loving others as God loves them, as Jesus loves, as the Holy Spirit loves.  We may or may not physically "feel" the warmth or tingle that sometimes grace our physical hearts or see within the sparkles of light that grace our minds with such love.  But we will relax and begin to cease striving to count on ourselves, to rely on our own "brilliance", to be victim to a kind of pride that fools us into thinking and doing as if what we think and do is crucial.

We learn to love to learn to love, and the object and sole purpose of this learning to love is to learn to remain in Christ's love and to learn to love God in Himself.  God's will is His Love; and we learn to love others from being in God's Love.  We utilize the gifts of body, mind, heart, and spirit when we come to realize the stupendous gift of all--that God loves us.  He loves us.  He loves me, and He loves you no matter how dull or intelligent, how plain or beautiful, how dim or clever, how clumsy or handy, how disorganized or efficient.

All God asks is that we love Him with all the strength and weakness, with our best purpose and imperfect human desire of our bodies, minds, hearts, and spirits.  And in that, we will then love others as ourselves for it will be His Love that is loving and not our self-reliance upon our abilities or our giftedness.  

The greatest gift is love--God's love.  When we--when I--can let go of pride and human control, loving to love God and learning to love God will become the gift God bequeaths in loving union with Him.

There is a reason why Jesus emphasizes His Heart, emphasizes His Love, God's Love, and remaining in His Love.  We must not overthink it or expect or desire to feel it.  Just be open to His Love, receive His Love, thank Him for His Love, personally, trustingly, blessedly.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Remain in His Love!  

Catholic Hermit Rejoices!

I was informed that a hermit colleague has been blessed with a spiritual gift, a spiritual phenomenon.  I am rejoicing over this news!  This particular hermit has in the past has seemed more leaning to the laws of minds; thus I have been praying for some time for the Holy Spirit to reach into the hermit's soul and inflame it with a touch of God's law of love, of the supernatural realities which soften us and remind us that the temporal is passing but the realm of the Spirit is eternal.

We can be reminded of St. Thomas Aquinas, a scholar of theology, an erudite writer of great intellect who spent the bulk of his priestly years in studious development and provision of theological thoughts and premises.  His contribution is appreciated to this day in many ways; but toward the end of Aquinas' life, he experienced a profound mystical event, opening him to the law of God, the law of love.

Henceforth, Aquinas left off his studious and legal, theological laden writings.  He is known to have exclaimed following the mystical experience:  "All words as are straw" as he compared his voluminous writings to the touch of God's Spirit upon him in a very real yet mystical sense.  Aquinas wrote no more.  He turned to a life of prayer and love of God.

St. Bernard, on the other hand, discovered the power of God's love over studious interpretations of canon laws and aspects of theology.  He seemed to grasp the spiritual hindrance of too much thinking with the "head" rather than the spiritual progression of thinking with the "heart."  Bernard of Clairvaux had union in God's love earlier on in his life and wrote of the desire of God to have union with us in His love.  He expounded beautifully of the four degrees of love and especially the pinnacle of such love being loving God in Himself.

When I was informed of my fellow hermit's spiritual experience, I smiled inwardly and have been rejoicing outwardly in my hermitage, while I work and pray.  I smiled for two reasons.  One is that I am overjoyed with this development in the spiritual life of my comrade in the eremitic vocation, as a fellow Catholic, fellow consecrated hermit even if our professions differ, our vows and rules of life differ in what amounts to minor details in the full spectrum of life.  

I am praising the Lord for the softening and awe of love that occurs when one--and this applies to any one of us--receives a spiritual gift from God.

The other inner smiling comes from the effect that when I had written about a spiritual gift the Lord gave me, that of mystical ecstasy during Mass, my description was rather met otherwise--with suggestion by my colleague that I was mentally unstable, emotional, hysterical, a fraud, etc.  

So it is that the Lord in his loving kindness alters our ways of being by giving us a gift in which we then can realize what such gifts are like, and He bestows in us a means of knowing deep within that the gift is genuine or not--regardless of what others may surmise.  The Lord has His way of then showing us that we are not the judge, but he Is.  I've been shown this, myself, in the past and am grateful to be reminded of the lesson to be learned over and over.

So it is that we can know our gifts are genuine; the Lord lets us know in various means and ways hard to describe.  I trust that we have excellent spiritual directors as well as have enough common sense to recognize the techniques of deception plied upon us by the devil.   And we do well to be far more scrutinizing of ourselves than what others might be.   In fact, it is better to scrutinize ourselves sufficiently than for others to judge from afar.  

The fruit of spiritual experiences can vary in the externals, but to the soul itself they bring a closer abiding in God, a greater sense and delight in His love of us, and create a deeper desire in us to love God in Himself above all things.  From this love of God in Himself, God's love flows through us so that we, in turn, love one another as He loves us.

Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!  Now when I see the prayer tree I planted as a reminder to pray and praise God for my fellow hermit colleague (as well as for all hermits, but this colleague in particular) I will rejoice for the spiritual gift that my fellow hermit has received!  It is a time for rejoicing!

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another and let us love God in Himself.

(And it is also a time for me to rise after extended, bodily rest and to continue installing ceiling boards.  Finish up the nailing of boards!  I have an aunt to pray for in a major way; I've not been praying nearly enough for this soul who is advanced in years and currently obsessing over the writing of her own obituary, desiring that others appreciate her.  I heard my late dad's voice last night remind me, regarding such aspects:  "Don't toot your own horn."  He always had a way of hitting the nail on the head with such aphorisms, wise advice.)

Catholic Hermit Exclaims: Lord, Have Mercy!

These words have been in my thoughts and at times uttered aloud.  Lord, have mercy!  

I do not intend the words or meaning to be a supplication of needs to be met, for the Lord has been meeting my temporal needs in marvelous ways.  I am so very grateful, and another exclamation I've been making lately is:  God provides!  Praise the Lord!

My helper, Daniel the Nazarene, came two days this past week.  As I write now, he is on his way driving to second semester of Bible college--a 16-hour drive.  I'm praying his vehicle hold up; he is concerned, and this young man's concerns are now my concerns.

The Lord, have mercy! exclamation is one of surprise and gratitude while at the same time marveling at how far this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit's body has been pushed in the manual labor this past three weeks or so since Daniel has been able to come help me with renovation and construction efforts.  He has come one day a week other than this past with two days (and maybe the week after Christmas two days).  

So in about six days' time of 6-7 hours including lunch and snack breaks, my helper and I were able to get tongue-in-groove ceilings installed upstairs and down the slanted ceiling wall in two bedrooms.  We put ceiling boards in a 24x14' living room, installed drywall up high in a stairwell, framed a stairwell wall, framed a pocket door, installed drywall on that wall and finished framing a closet door opening.  We finished hanging drywall in a couple high-up places downstairs, and we got the washer and dryer moved back into the laundry area (on other-and-underside of stairwell).

We've carried up the ladder several sheets of drywall, with Daniel taking the brunt of the lifting, thankfully so.  We nailed in 8 sheets of plywood beadboard into the attic gable "garret room".  We've had to empty out that attic space of boxes and bags of belongings stored these nearly four years so that we had space to work.

On days Daniel was not here--the bulk of days--this painful-bodied hermit hustled and pushed beyond what is truly feasible, or so it surely seems to me.  God provides!  Praise the Lord!  Others have mentioned they could never do it.  I respond, "Yes, you could and would if your existence depended upon it.   God would see you through, as He is seeing me through, at least to this very present moment."  

We never know the day or the hour.  But I am quite hopeful that I will be able to finish the hermitage in a few months, for the finances will totally be dried up and finished in a few months.  The generous assistance by Daniel the Nazarene and his willingness to drive from civilization to help an old hermit who paid an hourly wage that he appreciated and can use for college but also was not an unreasonable pay, has made all the difference.

No drugs, no foul language, a godly young man, responsible, on time, tolerant of working with an old person who is quite capable of making errors in figuring how to do carpentry work and forgetful when pain is high--God provided quite a gift in Daniel the Nazarene.

Each Sunday morning as the couple from the parish so kindly brings Communion to this hermit, they remark on the progress in this hermitage--an old farmhouse that probably could have been a tear-down to some prospective buyers who might have had a more honest and realistic realtor than had I.  The couple is seeing what a little bit of help--paid help--can do, what a little bit of charity can provide in results.  And the work is good work, for this dwelling will never be for others as it was for me.  Others will never have to undergo the hardships of living in rugged, rotten, rat-ridden, cold and nasty circumstances.

Now, that is good and holy!  And Daniel the Nazarene and next, a couple of his friends who are willing to come a day a month to help continue what help I need that I cannot do with God alone--these young people are stepping up in charity and kindness; and I am paying them more than they'd make and are so very grateful for their pay.  Loving kindness is a win-win.  When and if I live the next few months and God provides energy and strength to continue my God-alone work efforts in here, I hope to sell and gift these young people all the more with monetary assistance that I cannot give them right now.

It hopefully will all be a witness to the Catholic parishioners who could not so much as take five minutes to lift a microwave up on its metal holding strip, or those who could not let their son come for 10-15 minutes to help me lift up six sheets of drywall--with payment to them, of course.  It hopefully will be a witness to the Catholic parishioners who a priest said there were no men who could help me the first summer carry in six sheets of 1/2" plywood.  

Hopefully it can be a witness to the Catholic realtor and the parish St. Vincent de Paul Society who the realtor mentioned could help me that first cold winter when the roof was leaking like a sieve and I had no one to help with the most minor of tasks but requiring another set of hands now and then.  That Catholic realtor will not be selling the house, but she will surely be aware when another has the listing and will see that God provided through other Christians, such as Daniel the Nazarene and his friends, the little bit of help that made it feasible for this old and pained hermit to be able to progress toward completion.

Lord, have mercy!  As I read more of St. Bernard of Clairvaux's Sermons on the Song of Songs, in the introduction we are reminded of the ultimate goal and need to be united in God's love--to love God in Himself and to realize deeply that He loves us and it is His love by which we are able to love Him.  And, the saint reminds that once we love God in Himself and have union in His love, it is then that we are able to truly love others.  It is then that we are called to drop our love embrace in contemplation and to be charitable to the temporal needs of others.  

I hope to write more about what St. Bernard explains of God and His Love.  But for now, before more storms roll through, I must drop my desire to write of what Bernard shares and get the very pained and sore body off the mattress, dressed, and utilizing the compound miter saw set up outside on the deck.  I have more ceiling areas (shorter boards so can nail with God's help) to cut and install and some 2x4's to nail in here and there in various parts of the stairwell and attic garret so that there will be adequate surfaces to which to hang drywall.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Lord, have mercy!  God provides!  Praise the Lord!

Catholic Hermit on Holy Doors

The other day an elderly spiritual friend emailed news of diocese bishop desiring parishes to have holy doors in keeping with Pope Francis' declaration of the Year of Mercy and establishing a holy door such as Pope John Paul II dedicated for the new millennium in 2000.

However, the rector of their diocese cathedral was in a quandary, lasting a few days.  In fact, he contacted the parish council secretary three times--each to change which door of the church would be, in fact, the "holy door."  Finally, on the fourth change, he solved his great dilemma and had the secretary change the minutes to note that every door of the cathedral would be designated a holy one.

The only other changes to be made were to publish the updates in the parish bulletin and to ask the parish secretary to print out extra copies of the "indulgences" that those entering the holy door/s and doing certain religious practices and efforts would receive.

What are indulgences, many of this era may ask?  The following is a brief overview, beginning with the more general and concluding with examples depending upon the types of sins committed or indulged in.

"In the teaching of the Catholic Church, an indulgence is "a way to reduce the amount of punishment one has to undergo for sins" which may reduce either or both of the penance required after a sin has been forgiven, or after death, the time to be spent in Purgatory.

"The Catechism of the Catholic Church describes an indulgence as "a remission before God of the temporal punishment due to sins whose guilt has already been forgiven, which the faithful Christian who is duly disposed gains under certain prescribed conditions through the action of the Church which, as the minister of redemption, dispenses and applies with authority the treasury of the satisfactions of Christ and the saints".

"The recipient of an indulgence must perform an action to receive it. This is most often the saying (once, or many times) of a specified prayer, but may also include the visiting of a particular place, or the performance of specific good works.

"Indulgences were introduced to allow for the remission of the severe penances of the early Church and granted at the intercession of Christians awaiting martyrdom or at least imprisoned for the faith.^[3] They draw on the Treasury of Merit accumulated by Christ's superabundantly meritorious sacrifice on the cross and the virtues and penances of the saints. They are granted for specific good works and prayers in proportion to the devotion with which those good works are performed or prayers recited.

The information expands. Please indulge this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit.  The following are some examples of typically, contemporary, proffered actions which suggest that a person who fulfills them can receive remission of penalties of sins. 

"There are four general grants of indulgence, which are meant to encourage the faithful to infuse a Christian spirit into the actions of their daily lives and to strive for perfection of charity. These indulgences are partial, and their worth therefore depends on the fervor with which the person performs the recommended actions:

1. Raising the mind to God with humble trust while performing one's duties and bearing life's difficulties, and adding, at least mentally, some pious invocation.
2. Devoting oneself or one's goods compassionately in a spirit of faith to the service of one's brothers and sisters in need.
3. Freely abstaining in a spirit of penance from something licit and pleasant.
4. Freely giving open witness to one's faith before others in particular circumstances of everyday life.

"Among the particular grants, which, on closer inspection, will be seen to be included in one or more of the four general grants, especially the first, the Enchiridion Indulgentiarum draws special attention to four activities for which a plenary indulgence can be gained on any day, though only once a day:

1. Piously reading or listening to Sacred Scripture for at least half an hour.
2. Adoration of Jesus in the Eucharist for at least half an hour.
3. The pious exercise of the Stations of the Cross .
4. Recitation of the Rosary or the Akathist in a church or oratory, or in a family, a religious community, an association of the faithful and, in general, when several people come together for an honourable purpose.

"A plenary indulgence may also be gained on some occasions, which are not everyday occurrences. They include but are not limited to:

• Receiving, even by radio or television, the blessing given by the Pope Urbi et Orbi (to the city of Rome and to the world) or that which a bishop is authorized to give three times a year to the faithful of his diocese.
• Taking part devoutly in the celebration of a day devoted on a world level to a particular religious purpose.  Under this heading come the annual celebrations such as the World Day of Prayer for Vocations, and occasional celebrations such as World Youth Day.
• Taking part for at least three full days in a spiritual retreat.
• Taking part in some functions during the Week of Prayer for Christian Unity including its conclusion."

[*Sorry! I can't get the two points in larger print to be the same as all the others.  No emphasis intended.]

Is there any blog reader still logged on and reading?  I admit I did not read through the cited passages; I've read such years ago.  It is kindly that Catholics are made aware of and given reminders of what religious and spiritual activities, postures, prayers, and liturgical functions of which we may partake and participate.  Many Catholics, perhaps, don't understand or aren't aware that there are many aspects to prayer, to communicating with His Real Presence, of making creative and interesting offerings in every present moment: love gifts to the praise of His Glory!

What seems of interest is that there remains this notion of keeping souls at what St. Bernard of Clairvaux describes as the second degree of love.  That is, to love because of a reward of some sort.  Love God for what He will do for the person.  Why not tack on the holy doors, the explanation of the four degrees of love, and explain the fourth and highest degree (in St. Bernard's schema)?  Love God in Himself.  Explain what loving God means in some every day examples--of loving Him because He is Love and for no other motive, no strings attached.

There is far more that can be explained about loving God in Himself, and how that love then filters and flows from His Real Presence, and covers with love, all of humanity and creation, all souls, all breath, all energy and beingness.

And, as for holy doors, do we really think that once we touch them and enter through, either going in or out, that they are at all holy?  Once we touch or pass through, the door is not holy, more than likely, unless we are holy, ourselves.  What seems to be of consequence, is to ponder this fact and to realize that it is not the door, but the spaces in which we go in, or the spaces in which we enter when going out of a door, and if we live out holiness in those vast spaces whether the spaces of our souls or the world at large.

It took me a second or less to have holy doors in the hermitage and figure which ones to designate.  There are only two at this point.  (Of course, they are not at all holy because I am not holy, not really, not enough at least by my own consideration.)  Put I like the idea of designating them as holy as well as the space within the hermitage and the space outside the hermitage: the entire world and cosmos.  

My spiritual father sent a Christmas card and some cash, with the notation:  "Get some ice cream to eat!" inside.  (He knows I am living lean, working hard, suffering much, perhaps taking things a bit seriously these days.)  However, I really cannot justify ice cream when Craig just called to say the bathroom door with frame I ordered, has come in to the lumber yard.  

Immediately, I thought:  That bathroom door will also be a holy door!  It is the first interior door installed in this abode.  It is a signal for the interior holiness necessary and the work my soul needs to tend to--yes, with loving celebration.  The money sent by the holiest of priests, my spiritual father, will go towards that holy door.  The priest's love and mercy, expressed tangibly with some cash, is what will make that door "holy." 

Love.  Love God in Himself.  Live and love the God's law of love.

(Note: Above extractions on indulgences are from Wikpedia internet site.)

Think, Talk, Walk in Love

All morning the nothing Catholic hermit has been thinking about various people who come to mind.  These are the someones of whom this hermit must love--no, is allowed to have the privilege of loving. 

Love is most certainly the greatest gift we are given and may and can give to God and others.  As St. Bernard explains, if we love God in Himself, we are loving all of Him which includes all His created Thought and Being, which means all creatures, which means all of us, living and on the other side, and all the angels of light and darkness.  God loves.  God Is Love.

Of course, not all creatures and spirits love God.

This morning, then, several persons came to mind who have been challenges to love for one reason or another.  Unkindness, mostly, was the difficulty with some who came to mind.  However, the realities of how some people treat others in this life, are marvelous practice pieces of learning Divine Love.  Yes, through, with, and in His Real Presence (Who has His abode in us--in this hidden, tuckered out hermit this morning and right now!--could turn any love challenges into love because of His grace to do so.

Love is quite a powerful gift we are given, and it is downright fun to utilize this power in thoughts.

It is yet another practice and gift to love with our tongues.  Yes, take those thoughts of love which powerfully have overcome any negativity (and we all have our ugliness that create challenges to others loving us and us loving others), and be loving in words uttered among others, to others, for others.  This may include writing loving notes to people, loving emails to others, loving comments on Facebook and Twitter.

Finally, it is a workout (as much or more than all the old wood planks the old hermit pry-barred and demo'd out of the ceiling spots and remaining walls) to utilize the gracious, powerful gift of love when with people, to be loving and to do loving actions in their presence or behind their backs.  (We usually think only of being spiteful or complaining behind another person's back, but just think how we are given the ability and power to be loving behind their backs!)

In a few minutes, after the back stops its spasms of pain, this hermit is going to load up the truck with some supplies for venturing the distance into civilization.  There has been an invitation to help celebrate someone's birthday, a family someone.  This will be the first humans seen in a week!  How strange to realize the hermit has adapted to solitude by the grace of His Real Presence.  It is peaceful and does not at all seem as if no people present in this time frame.

People from this realm and the other side seem so very present to the hermit, especially with the thoughts of love conquering other realities, for truly, not everyone is all that loving to us, and we aren't that loving to them.  That is why St. John the Apostle encourages us to walk in love, to love one another as God loves us.

St. John Climacus mentions we ought to love God as much as we love our friends.  Well, this hermit immediately thought rather it ought to love its friends (and its enemies) as much as it loves God!  God Is so always very good and loving to this hermit, and Is so perfect and magnanimous, that loving Him seems easier than loving others or even itself.

The hermit has been asked to bake the birthday cake of which the birthday someone has chosen a recipe.  Should be interesting and fodder for more loving thoughts, talk, and walk.  

Yes, there may be strains or comments or who-knows-what for we never do know what others are experiencing in their day.  Perhaps they are tired, or frustrated, or working too hard, or coming down with a cold, or misbehaving for any number of reasons. Perhaps they are stressed from financial losses, or uncertain about our country's woes. 

Even this hermit may struggle with grumpiness due to the manual labor today, or the too-soft bed there that causes excessive left hip pain.  Well, allow love to take over any grumpiness and any added pain.  Love sleeping on the floor if need-be!  Let love take over.  Think, talk, and walk in love.

Yet, we are given the power of LOVE!  No matter what other someones are feeling or expressing that may not exude love, we CAN!  

Am praying and will keep praying for His Real Presence to absorb this hermit into His omnipotent, omniscient, eternal LOVE, and in His Love, think, talk and walk in love for Him and for others.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another and remain in His Love, always.