Catholic Hermit: A Specific Power Against Evil

When re-reading today's Psalm, prayed and read at Masses all over the world on this day, the Lord reminded me that the Psalms themselves are a powerful force against evil.  They also are a balm to the soul, the mind, the heart, the body, for the devil attempts to disrupt all aspects of our beings.

Today's Psalm is 71.  Read it if you wish; or best, pray it slowly, lovingly, sweetly with assurance.  His Real Presence and also the soul of the psalmist who wrote it way back when on earth, will fill you with peace, strength and courage.  I do wish I could post it here, but with the old IPad, it is a wonderment to be able to write and post, let alone cut and paste.  Perhaps later when laptop is repaired, I will clean up my little blog posts of recent note.

The power of the Psalms became a reality to this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit, the last year of my beloved mother's life.  She was what we could accurately describe as anti-Catholic.  My conversion and later profession of vows as a Catholic hermit, privately, traditionally, as one with the Consecrated Life of the Catholic Church--well, the initial conversion to the Church upset her deeply.

But a mother's love is true, at least with my mother, and while she never liked my being a Catholic, she did accept that this was my path, and she perhaps surprisingly and kindly, at least to my face, accepted my hermit vocation.  She had fear of the little black breviary which I'd being with me on the daily stays at the health care facility where she lived those final ten months.  (My mother suffered more than any suffering I can imagine, all the worse because her mind was as clear and brilliant as when she was at any point in her 86 years.)

She somehow thought the breviary some scary Catholic thing.  One day she asked again about it.  I would read the morning office in silence, as she read something other.  So I explained it is simply a compilation of Scripture, especially the Psalms, prayers, hymns, poetry, and excerpts of holy writings of Christian theologians, Saints, Mystics, and Church leaders.

After awhile, one day she said, "Well, you can read the Psalms to me...but none of the other stuff."

Her eyes were failing some, and she came to look forward to my reading the Psalms aloud with her.
Then one day she said, "Well, I guess you can go ahead and read the other parts to me, as well."  So I did.

What is so miraculous about this scenario is that in the last few years of life, my otherwise Christian mother, a devoted Methodist back in the days when Methodism was quite prevalent as a popular, mainline, Protestant church, had been increasingly seduced by New Age ideologies.  She had joined a group of rather demonic type people who had taken advantage of her not only spiritually but also psychologically and even in some ways materially.

While the Lord answered prayers, and my sisters and I were able to move her back to her hometown and away from that group, her Christianity was nearly lost.  In a dream the Lord showed me in an image of my mother, agitated and her hair wildly flaming, and her always beautiful, fair skin a horrendous shade of red--all but on little clear patch remaining on her left cheek.

Of course, I went to work on this horror, with prayer.  My sisters realized her peril as well, if not so graphically.  They prayed, their families and friends prayed.  I went on a sacrificial pilgrimage, difficult with my body to do so, but prayed in every church we entered, and there were many, many churches.  I spent nights in a chapel before His Real Presence, praying for my mother to return to Christ.

And I kept reading the Psalms to her, day in and day out.  Easter morning, when I entered her room, she said she had called my sisters to apologize for worrying them and to tell them she really is a Christian.  And I kept reading the Psalms to her.

Five months and many Psalms later, my mother made a tremendous shift in thinking.  One day she said she no longer was pro-abortion.  In fact, she felt God had given her a mission in the health care facility among some unwed young aides who tended her, who were also expecting babies.  She began to encourage them, not judge or criticize, not think they should have abortions.  She began encouraging them to take college courses part time.

My mother said she was going to help me with my mission here on earth, after her death.  I know she has helped, although currently I have put quite a strain on my mission with the fixer upper I got into!  However, as to the Psalms, at my mother's private graveside service, her sister chose to read a Psalm. She shared with us there that my mother had told her in recent months how she had come to love the Psalms, and would ask my aunt to read them to her when she would visit.

I said nothing, but I knew then, deeply, the power of the Psalms in times of trouble, in times of souls being threatened by demonic take over.  Yes, the Gospels are powerful, the very Words of Jesus.  There are many incredible sources of power in defeating the evil one.

But today I am reminded by the Lord to share with you, dear readers, the spiritual efficacy of the Psalms as a source of fighting the enemy.  Plus, as the songs that they are--and poetry--they can be a marvelous way to breach religious divides, or to broach Christianity with those who are agnostics or atheist is, which my mother was not.  She just lost her way a bit, and turned back around!

God bless His Real Presence in us, the little children that we are.  Let us humbly love and encourage and support one another no matter how lost or found we may think we are.

Catholic Hermit Waking

It may seem strange to some that a person, let alone a consecrated Catholic Hermit could wake up in the morning and feel a deep "ugh."

Can any of you readers grasp the degree of pain to cause such a reaction to being bodily alive?  Perhaps some of you share the type of pain, or at least at times in your life.  It is not pain that has one writhing with acute trauma, although that may happen from time to time.  This pain is deep, intractable, relentless, heavy, potent.  The mind and emotions do all to cope, even combat the thoughts and feelings.

There is plenty of self-blaming.  The mind can go to the past and consider situations involved or instrumental in the causes of such life-altering pain.  The mind can remand images to the fore, and to alter the images into what-ifs of other scenarios, false but appealing.

There is plenty of forgiving those who helped exacerbate the pain.  There is resentment yet gratitude for the pain medications one relies upon at this later phase of life when the brain is stripped of its pain-coping, natural chemicals, the nerve synapses worn from years of over-use.  There is prayer, now more simple, wordless conversation.  Or if words, something basic like, "Lord, let the pain be prayer."  Or, "Lord, let this desire to be out of this body in this temporal life, be prayer."

One thing for certain, the Lord knows more than we do, the degree of pain and suffering within our bodies.  He understands.  He has mercy.  He's been there, done that, in His time on earth.  And let us not kid ourselves that he is not in touch every present moment with great suffering, now and all these years since and prior to his approximately 33 years in an earthly body.  He knows pain through and through.  He lives suffering because He has His Abode in us.

And we know His yoke because we are in Him...at least those of us Christians, the baptized, the espoused, the followers of Jesus, the sinners trying to do our best yet falling short.

Today's Gospel reading in the daily Mass comforts all of us and perhaps especially gives support to the ones with great physical pain as well as those with emotional and mental pain.  At times, they all touch, weave, intersect in some small or large way.

Jesus tells us to take His yoke upon us.  His yoke is easy, His burden is light.  We can each figure it out, although many have written eloquently and some at length, about what Jesus means with these Living Words.  Take His yoke upon us.  His yoke is easy, His burden light.

Perhaps it is enough to not think on it much.  Just do what He says with simple, humble, weary and pain-tired faith.

There, I've done it right now.  Yesterday the thoughts were in battle until afternoon, conflicting with my thought and His thoughts on pain and life here or life on the other side, shedding the body, molting style.  This morning my thoughts are now His thoughts, for taking His yoke insures that all will be His, not mine.

I may have to repeat His adjuring Words:  Take My yoke upon you.  Sometimes we need repetition in order to learn, in order to make habitual an act or thought.  It is simple enough.  And with faith, all things are possible.  Why make it complicated and hard?

If Jesus says His yoke is easy, then it surely is easy enough to mentally put it on in image, word, thought.  if Jesus says His burden is light, then it surely is simply based upon His saying so.  We can find out as we go along.

Catholic Hermit's Living Word Boot-Kick

Yesterday, was good to make the trip to civilization despite the usual, increased pain aftermaths.  It is delightful to interact with others such as the occasional clerk, or the man where I get the black bark mulch.  As a child and into adulthood, this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit had been socialized well by parents who valued a well-rounded personality.  I'm grateful!

I can "shoot the breeze" as readily as not and most often evoke laughter as well as sprinkle some encouragement.  At times, I can also reflect upon suffering or share some lesson spiritual lesson learned in some unexpected way.  So now and then, a short period of immersion into the well-spring of humanity is very good, indeed!  Always, I return to the hermitage with prayer concerns from interactions with mostly strangers.

When I head into civilization ever couple of weeks or longer, the body pays a painful price.  Rarely is the rest of the day or night fruitful with physical efforts.  It is enough to unload the supplies purchased.  Then down on the mattress, and most often I turn to this little window to the world of cyberspace.  Therein I gain more prayer needs from review of news videoclips and headlines, or from an email or two with specific prayer concerns mentioned.

And recently, perhaps ever since I moved to this desert of exile of which circumstances too rough to have my harp uncased, I have gravitated to listening to music on YouTube.  Years ago when studying toward a doctorate in Clinical Psychology, the movement was in full force: the healing qualities of music.  I suppose there is great truth in this (and also gardening is quite healing--soil and plants!).

The fact of the matter, deeper in, is that love is healing.  It is the love within the creativity and expression of musicians with music and the love within the creation of trees and flowers, of food crops and even grass--that has such a healing aspect.  Love heals; God heals.  God Is Love!

This morning I awoke with tough pain.  At one point, the pain became severe, pulsating through the liver area of my right back.  I wondered if I'd be able to ride through the effects or if the episode would flare into the horrific pain episode a few weekends ago, culminating in the EMS trip to ER.  Thankfully, this morning's pain dissipated some; I have been up, moving around,  and am consuming the large cup of Green Glory (fresh greens and fruits, blended for kick-start to the digestive system).

Hosea is the prophet currently in the daily Mass readings rota.  This morning's selection is excellent, but my mind returned to yesterday's.  It struck me then as now:  a boot kick to the seat of my hermit body, heart, mind and spirit!  Yes, I need this in the current juncture point of yet accepting that I am not soon to pass from this temporal realm due to cancer, that I must adapt to greater physical pain, that I am slowed from many manual labor tasks and thus hindered from finishing the hermitage or able to sell it and move on to the next place....

See here, the boot-kick portion of Hosea 10:

"Sow for yourselves justice,
reap the fruit of piety;
break up for yourselves a new field,
for it is time to seek the LORD,
till he come and rain down justice upon you."

Yes, I need this reminder.  I need it as a strong boot-kick, far more powerful than the two glasses of Green Glory with some B-12 and caffeine added.  (Oh, my, what I am blessed with in order to help in any supplemental way the bodily fatigue incumbent with intractable, chronic pain!)

Powerful more than ought else, is the Living Word of God.  More powerful than a double-edged sword, His Living Word eviscerates our thoughts, emotions, memories, interactions including all aspects of our souls within.

Break up for yourselves a new field!  Today I will do that literally and physically if the neighbor lad does remember to come for some work.  We will use a pitchfork and trenching spade to dig the area where a brick path will be laid--the narrow path that few will be on.  It leads from hermitage porch to the front drive, a little-used walkway connecting hermit to the world-at-large!

Reap the fruit of piety!  Well, there must be piety in order for there to be insemination and growth with resultant fruit. Piety: the quality of being religious or reverent; holiness, godliness, saintly.  Well, it does seem that desiring God and striving to think of God above all things, is at least a healthy seed planted, and from there we must keep love of God in Himself the raison d'etre--the cause and purpose of our existence.

Sow for yourselves justice.  This is not so easily attained, we might think.  Justice is that of establishing fairness based on truth and goodness.  But it is not that we are to experience justice in this life.  No, but we are to sow for ourselves, justice.  We are to plant the seeds of justice; we are to prepare a soil rich to promote and inspire justice to grow and thrive in our lives and hopefully in the lives of others.  We are to do the sowing and not expect it to come from others, although it is always a blessing when it does.  What we can control of justice, is the sowing of it in and of ourselves.  That is a gift we are given that we can then share with those around us.  Sowing justice glorifies God.

It is time to seek the LORD!  I need this boot-kick perhaps more than the other aspects, at this moment of the present order of matters.  I need to seek Him right now, and to then get up and break up a new field--field of thought, of feelings, of spirit, of understanding, of love.

The Living Word of God is always His Thoughts, coming from His Mind.  The more we plow up that field, the more our thoughts will be replaced by His.  Perhaps this is the boot-kick needed most, today, and the reassurance of His justice coming in the form of His Wisdom, raining down on and within us.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another while break up a new field within us--plowing and sowing His love in our daily lives!

Catholic Hermit on Taking His Word to Heart

This morning I awoke with more than average pain, particularly in the liver area of which recently discovered some small nodules and lesions--none malignant, though.  Research revealed that many of us have small lesions on our livers (and some all our lives) which are water cysts.  

What aspect of the liver that a contrast dye scan revealed, according to an emergency room doctor, is the upper right quadrant being "splayed and frayed", going up under the rib cage and touching the lung in which a sizable nodule was discovered in the lung lining.  This was not found to be malignant, either.  

However, the splayed and frayed aspect seems odd, and although one doctor thought it could not have occurred from an injury and that the pain I feel could be muscle pain--whatever the pain's cause, this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit has to learn to live with it!  Ah, yes, more pain!

So with the pain being rather severe upon waking, and taking the usual meds to help tone it down (which are not adequate at times but must endure without more meds, but by the grace of God!), I turned to the daily Mass readings and found great strength and solace in this selection from His Living Word.

Excerpts from Hosea 2:

"Thus says the Lord:
I will allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak to her heart.
She shall respond there as in the days of her youth,
when she came up from the land of Egypt.

"On that day, says the Lord,
She shall call me 'My husband,'
and never again 'My baal.'

"I will espouse you to me forever:
I will espouse you in right and in justice.
in love and in mercy;
I will espouse you in fidelity,
and you shall know the Lord.

I read it once; I read it twice.  Rising from the mattress, I put last evening's freshly picked strawberries in two quart containers and set them on the roadside table.  His Living Word continued to touch my heart as I cut two heads of Escarole and also a bunch of Swiss Chard, Blue Scotch Kale, two squash, and a small baggie of Snow Peas.  Out to the roadside table with these, as well, and added some beets I'd pulled yesterday.

Then back to the mattress for yet another perusal of the above Scriptures, and this hermit feels much better, inside and out!  Of course, I can take these words given by the Lord to Hosea as if given to me, this morning, or any time--day and night.

Once when taking a university course on Isaiah, the professor pointed out that the prophets understood their messages as being addressed literally in some ways, to a specific person or group, and also as a symbolic whole which pointed toward some future time frame as a prophetic message not totally discernible by the prophet or his contemporary listeners.  Yet the overall intent is clear.

The first time I truly began absorbing His Living Word as personalized message from God to my own heart was following the car accident years ago and my earthly spouse's declaring not wanting to be married anymore.  The shock and upset of that time period helped drive me all the more to Christ and to His Living Word.  The Scripture that spoke to my core and gave me great solace and truth, then, was one from Isaiah in which God says, "Your Maker shall be your Spouse."

From that time onward, with rearing my then three very young children, I considered Jesus my Spouse and for my children, He was their true Father.  I relied upon God in as many details of daily life possible to a mortal being going through quite a time of unexpected trials as well as being opened up rather profoundly and viscerally to the supernatural realities.

As I absorb the Living Word this morning, here in this desert place to which I was called out of a type of Egypt--a comfortable, temporal existence--three years ago, I recognize that the Lord has been speaking to my heart as much as my heart is willing to listen and observe.  The physical pain and temporal obstacles can be like thick fog steaming the windshield of my earthly vehicle, my body and my mind.

If I am able to gently and daily--even moment by moment--wipe clear the fog, I can see and hear my Spouse as clearly as if He were resting by me on this mattress right now.  I can feel His touch and sense His comforting understanding.  Just a bit ago, He said, "Others do not comprehend the amount of physical pain you bear in your body all the time, but some day, later on, they will realize just how much pain it has been, and they will understand the heaviness of the cross I have asked you to bear."

I responded that I suppose by then, it won't really matter what others realize or not.  Yes?  There was no discernible answer, for by then I was harvesting some greens, and perhaps it was my own mind thinking about what difference will it make later on, that those who misunderstand me now or have not had the compassion or patience to remain faithful in love and friendship to one with such chronic pain hindrances, might have regrets but what good then?  I don't want people to suffer regrets.  I'd prefer them to grasp now and be able to simply love and accept, not withdraw or disrespect.

However, the Lord, while not answering those thoughts posed, then, in the gardens, answered as I re-read yet again, the passage from the Prophet Hosea.  It is not to others that I am espoused, nor they to me.  His Real Presence has espoused me to Himself in righteousness, in justice, in mercy, in love, in fidelity--forever.  He has espoused me to Himself so that I will know Him.

While it is lovely to hear words and speak words, from human to human, with human to human, there is something so clear and rich and deep when the Lord speaks to us directly from His Living Word, from His Heart to our souls.  

The previous posts this hermit has written, expressing considerations about spiritually counseling or direction others, or for hermits to be spiritually directed, have not discounted the marvelous sharing and growth that can occur in speaking, writing, and listening to one another.  The Holy Spirit can certainly use us as conduits of God's grace, mercy, and love from one human to another, and back.

Yet that is akin to gentle rain hitting the foggy windshield, making the vision a bit more clear than fog alone but yet obscuring the clarity, the sight.  And if the rains become intense, it is not much different than fogged vision.  There is nothing quite as clarifying and direct than the Lord speaking to our listening souls.  When we are stilled and willing, the Lord's very breath can dispel the foggiest of windows to our minds, hearts, and spirits.

He breathes His Mind into us if we so desire and ask for the grace, when we are most needful of His Word personalized, appreciated, loved, taken to heart.

On Spiritual Direction for a Catholic Hermit

Yet another aspect of spiritual direction or spiritual counsel comes to mind, this morning.  This thought reflects upon the hermit him- or herself, seeking, needing, having spiritual direction.

Really, there are many factors involved in this topic, various conditions, numerous circumstances and considerations.

While adapting to the sad news (only a mystic or one who has had glorious death experience might understand this perspective) that this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit's lung and liver nodules and whatever the "splayed and frayed" quadrant of liver means--that no malignancy showed up on a PETScan, I had considered contacting a hermit monk/priest not too far away.  I thought it might be good to have a pep talk, of sorts.

But the days have dawned and dusked since that thought, and I have not made the contact nor traveled to visit Fr. P.  The body has had some increased pain, requiring more mattress time.  The remaining bodily energy has necessitated keeping the produce gardens watered.  The little roadside stand must be laden with God's best in vegetables and berries!

A primary inner response to my conversation with the Lord on the idea (probably my mind's thought, not His) of going for a pep talk from a fellow religious hermit, has been that it is unnecessary at this time.  I was asked, "What is the true need and motive?  What are you seeking from the visit?"

Good questions.  Also came the realities that with it soon being 16 years of commencement of my hermit vocation, postulancy, novitiate, and profession of private vows, that whatever pep talks I may think would make adaptations to increased pain and the disappointment of not soon dying of cancer, can be proffered by His Real Presence, solus Deus!

So true.  What were my motives for considering going to talk with Fr. P.?  Did I want someone to wave a magic wand and make somehow easier the refocusing on my hermit vocation and the daily life of prayer, praise, suffering, lectio Divina, manual labor, and living by the Spirit?

Do I really need to travel to talk with a fellow religious solitary?  Do I have some great turning point decision to make that I do not grasp nor that the Lord will show me and lead me through?  Am I on the verge of some major temptation to think or do something pivotally, mortally sinful?  Am I  having despair that His Real Presence is incapable of squelching, or am I assaulted by the devil in ways not recognizable, or in some dire self-deception that the Lord is not shining His Light upon?

To all these questions, the answer has been a simple "No."  Even the ups and downs and my own mind's deliberations on trying to get to Mass this weekend have been answered by the Lord's adding some weight to the physical cross of increased bodily pain.  Not able to drive and sit extra for participating in Mass--vigil last evening or Sunday, today.  Perhaps next week; the Lord will either allow the body to physically be able to go or not.  Must wait in the Order of the Present Moment, make the spiritual communions as often as His Real Presence suggests and that my subconscious and/or conscious mind responds.

(Now we can insert that if my mind were to be replaced by God's Mind, the spiritual communions would emanate and fructify spiritually regardless of my conscious or subconscious thoughts or agreements. Dear Lord, please--Thy Mind, not mine.  Am so excited about the prospects but recognize God rules time and all aspects of the temporal and spiritual!)

It is not that a consecrated Catholic hermit of the traditional, privately professed variety or of the more recently offered category of public profession received in the hands of a local ordinary (bishop) do not ever need spiritual direction or counsel by another person or superior after being a hermit "x" amount of years.  Far from that.  In fact, the publicly professed hermit (referred to by some as canonical hermit) are to be under the direct supervision of their diocese's bishop.

And for all hermits and indeed all Christians, Catholic or otherwise, it is excellent practice to have a spiritual mentor or for Catholics, a spiritual director, who can counsel, encourage, guide, suggest, and help motivate from time to time, in the soul's pilgrimage on earth.  The goal, after all, is union with God and to live by the Spirit in Christ Jesus, being freed from living under the law: to be as Christ, in Him, He in us.

Even spiritual directors--bishops, cardinals, the Pope himself--ought to have someone to turn to when need be.  A confessor, a guide, a spiritual mentor--all beneficial and in some cases, necessary.

The hermit, though, falls into a bit of a loophole depending upon how the Lord has unfolded the circumstances of his or her vocation.  We know for a fact that there have been and are today, some Catholic hermits whose vocations are more hidden than others, whose health or locale is such that traveling to a spiritual director is not always feasible.  Even confession may circumstantially need to be mostly (not always) done through begging God's mercy and asking His forgiveness for our sins that we pour out from our hearts to His Merciful and Sacred Heart.

So there is yet correspondence via surface mail as well as now the internet email as means of communicating with a spiritual counselor, mentor, guide.  Sometimes that is hindered, though.  For example this hermit's spiritual director does not now have access to direct phone lines and does not have a computer nor an email address.  I can leave a message, but more often than not, the message does not reach him.  I can send a letter, but his health is such that he does not respond often nor at length.

The other person I have relied upon for spiritual counsel has been a very spiritually adept order priest, but he is in Nigeria.  Internet services at his community's seminary and monastery are intermittent in functionality.  By the time he is able to read an email, the issues I have addressed are already unraveled and solved by His Real Presence, here in the silence of solitude of Te Deum Hermitage.

I do know that both priests pray for me root for me, and also have confidence that if I remain in His Love (as they each commend), all will go well and as God wills and desires.

There are the spiritual directors and mentors who have written tomes of wisdom and of all manner and types of spiritual obstacles and the means to overcome them in the temporal-mystical admixture of our earthly journeys and soul-seeking of union with His Real Presence.  We have the Catechism of the Catholic Church and access online to any Canon Law we may desire to consult.  But the latter is not usually the type of concern or obstacle to a consecrated hermit.

Mostly, our issues revolve around the inner life of which there can be any number of pitfalls.  The devil lurks always, hoping to cause mischief to outright chaos in order to distract us and uproot our vocations, our daily lives, our prayers, our very souls.

Yet for this hermit here, in the past several weeks, although there have been distractions and chaos, and my daily routine disrupted, and my mind definitely filled with lots of thoughts that were not God's Thoughts, there really has been nothing needing my seeking human guidance when His Real Presence and my guardian angel (Beth!) has been using temporal and spiritual circumstances to unfold according to God's Will and His Mind's Wisdom.

I know what I'm to be doing.  I know what I must ponder and pray about. I know what is required of me in my hermit vocation, my daily practices, my spiritual reading, my prayer life, my praise of God.  This is a phase in which, His Will having replaced my will, the main sticking point is that of my mind and ideas and thoughts needing to be subsumed and filled in with his Mind, His Insights, His Wisdom.  And that, I know, like all else in the temporal and especially the spiritual realms, requires a process that includes earth time and also some suffering, some dying such as death of my own intellect.

The Lord will let me know when I do need to have a visit with Fr. P. or even a parish priest, and He will allow me the physical health and capability to travel to that person, or the ability for that person to travel to my hermitage.  The time it was evidently necessary for the spiritual director to return a message and then to write a letter, he did so.  God had it all flow without obstacles.  And I got the message, and I am striving to fulfill the advice.  The recent email from Fr. V. in Nigeria contains some prayer requests on his end as well as the reminder to remain in His Love and all will be well, and God will lead and guide thoroughly, competently.

I suppose at a certain age in a hermit's chronology and after enough years of being a consecrated Catholic hermit of either type, there is a reality to the admonition to "go into your cell and your cell with teach you."  Particularly for a hermit, being called out of the world in a stricter separation from the world, the battles fought are mostly interior, of the mind, heart, spirit, soul.

And these require prayer, listening, perseverance, sticking to the daily routine, the Rule of Life, and adherence to His Living Word in faith, hope, and charity.  If one has been received into the Order of the Present Moment, in which St. Joseph is patron, the habit is whatever one happens to be wearing at any given moment, the Virgin Mary the novice mistress and His Real Presence the Superior and Spouse, when the devil is allowed to stir and confuse, the hermit is in very good Hands.

When His Real Presence desires a visit to or from a spiritual director, or a message sent and received, that will happen, of course.  God does all, provides all.

Above all, again, these reflections vary depending upon the individual hermit or anyone, actually, and upon the varying circumstances of each individual body, mind, heart, and soul.  Truly, a hermit does need consistent spiritual direction or some type of guided formation along the way, especially in the earlier years of the vocation.  

Yet also, the hermit always needs to be on the alert to the prowling of the devil no matter how old or how many years a hermit.  Thus, one should always have a holy priest or saintly hermit contact, to call upon in any present moment.  God will provide either Himself or a priest or spiritual guide, an angel or human, when necessary.  He knows!  He does not leave us to be devoured by the evil one!

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love God above all things and one another as Jesus love us!

Catholic Hermit Remains in Suffering, Praise

Well, I had hoped by today to better able stand, walk about, even get the mulch off the truck.

There is some progress, slight.  I was able to gingerly creep outside--more guardedly than perhaps gingerly--and I was able to bend over and hook up two soaker hoses and turn on the spigots.  Now am back on the mattress using ice pack.

A woman who--turns out--lives not far from this hermit's hermitage, advertised on an area internet site that she has much PVC piping available; she had used it for many berry bushes.  Ah!  One of my needed tasks--past due--is to get bird netting over the blueberry bushes as well as spread out over strawberry patches of which birds and critters are already helping themselves to the first fruits.

I called, and the woman is holding the PVC for me until Wednesday.  I was sure that I could be up and about by today, empty the truck of mulch, and drive to pick up the piping.  But alas, no.  The Lord has me stilled for longer than I thought would be.  His will reigns and rules now.  My thoughts yet are not replaced by His thoughts, though.  Not nearly enough but are a bit.  And that bit of His Mind replacing whatever of my thoughts, is a blessing!

Thus, my mind can recall previous times of despair when some physical ailment would fell me to the mattress.  I would begin to fret over how I would get more done here, how I would exist, how I would progress or even be able to leave if necessary.  But now, the thoughts view those old ways of thinking, yet my thoughts do not traverse those frets.

I simply wait in the silence of solitude, of suffering.

There is news of the family member cycling solo in Europe.  Much rain had him soaked as he biked through French countryside.  He ended up needing to stop for the night but had difficulty finding lodging.  Finally a tourist office employee who happened to be open (France observes four-day work week fairly seriously) made many phone calls to locate a Bed-and-Breakfast in a nearby village.  It is aptly called:  The Pilgrim.

Many prayers are being offered for the bicycling pilgrim from various others as well as this debilitated, consecrated, Catholic hermit.

A friend from a couple thousand miles away called this morning and reported on her now full-time health care of husband in ill health.  Finances are tough for them--extremely so.  She is trying to get mortgage remodification and debt consolidation and is swamped with necessary paperwork.  She also has researched various online forums for alternative, simple treatments that might help her husband's lung problems, immune system, and overall well-being.

As for my severe muscle or rib pain issues, currently, she thought surely I should go to the doctor.  Well, there is no way I could possibly suffer through getting dressed, into the truck, and drive anywhere at this point.  And there is really no need.  By and by, the pain will lesson, whatever is aggravated will simmer down and heal.

She suggested perhaps there is some linkage of this physical derailment and the strange events of last week's bi-location and ensuing discovery that the family member is on this--what I will now term--pilgrimage of seeking to find whatever is there to be found.  Yes, I'd considered there might be a connection, that somehow the Lord has allowed the rather bizarre flare up somewhere between pitchforking a bit of light-weight mulch into a wheelbarrow and dumping and spreading the mulch over a small area of landscape fabric, between fence and some soft Boxwood shrubs.

Whatever, I am laid out on this cross now, and will climb down from it briefly to change the soaker hoses if the pain level allows.  Otherwise, I will turn off the spigots and return to the cross of physically limiting pain, the mattress that so much of my life is lived out upon, and will praise God for yet another phone call from someone making some important decisions on major purchases for home as well as the email message from a spiritual friend reporting some crucially disappointing news but also asserting her courage in going forth with what will be painful medical procedures.

God provides!  He gives us answers always.  His will be done, not ours.  And I am certain that He also will replace this hermit's mind with His Mind, bit by bit, for I have need of His Wisdom and Thoughts, His Ideas and Insights.  Mine are sluggish, uncooperative with His will, blurred and foggy in vision compared to His View.

The Living Word has been uplifting, as usual.  The other day Jesus spoke about by whose authority, for he was asked that, accused, really, by those who felt He did not have the authority to be saying what He spoke.  It is all very good and reminds me of some temporal aspects in which some might get caught up in similar criticism, questioning if this or that one has authority for this or that.  It is all rather silly, and Jesus makes it quite clear, the issue of authority and Whose authority authorizes.

We really do not need to get too worked up over much of much.  Other than...

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Let us love God above all things and one another as Jesus loves us!  

Catholic Hermit Shares Macarius' Mind-Opening Point

In reading Homily 47 of the outstanding writings of the holy, early century Macarius, this statement opened my mind to a sensible but hitherto unconsidered truth.

He wrote utilizing Scripture to explain metaphorically life lived under the Law of God.  This statement answers wonderings I've pondered for awhile, within.

"The individual person progresses, once he has received the life of the Holy Spirit and has eaten the Lamb and has been anointed by his blood and has eaten the true Bread, the living Word."

I re-read and then read again, over and over, letting the words and their meaning settle.  Macarius was not writing on that theme in particular.  His words were obvious to him in their import in that time period which was quite close in comparison to our time period, to the earthly existence of Jesus Christ, His disciples and apostles, and of the extant writings from Christ and His followers and the practices religiously that they lived.  

Obviously, they considered the living Word as true Bread.  That makes sense when we realize that the first half of the Catholic Mass is dedicated to the reading of the Living Word.  In Protestant church services, the reading, study of, and preaching the Living Word is predominant.

But what about this point that it is the true Bread?  That is what opens my mind and heart and soul to that which I'd not considered, yet it now makes total, true sense.  The reality has expanded Christ's gift of His Body and Blood to us, existing also and available to eat, in that true Bread, His living Word.

He is the Word.  His Word is living.  His Word is truth and life.  When I review Jesus' words to us in John 6, when we eat His Body and drink His Blood we will have true life in us, and when I consider that His Body and Blood are of course within the Living Word which is what Christ is called in totality of Who He Is, as well--all become quite precious and life-giving, sustaining, and eternal.

No wonder when we sup on Scripture and take it in through our eyes and with our mouths speak the Word, we are sustained by this true Bread, the living Word.  

Regardless how it affects others--this insight simply expressed so matter-of-factly from a saintly priest of the early centuries--the reality of what also is Christ and to be eaten, called the true Bread, is the living Word of God. 

I realize now how many of the early Christians and the desert fathers and especially the women eremites who were not priests and not consecrating the bread and wine--how they were sustained by His Body and Blood in yet another spiritually powerful act of consuming Christ.

(There is no point in sharing the insight with the parish priest nor most anyone I know, for it may be the type of truth that makes sense to us when the Holy Spirit has our minds, hearts, and souls ripe for the germination of this spiritual seed.  But I share it here, for some soul may be ripe, as was my soul.  I also doubt it would have as strong an impact on those who are physically able to avail themselves of the Body and Blood of Christ in the consecrated host and consecrated wine, when they attend Mass.  Yet it is of import to those paying attention, to heed and consume the immense value of also the true Bread, the living Word.)

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another and love God above all things!

Catholic Hermit Reminded of the Same Ultimate of God

It is in thinking of God, of sensing God, of loving God, of being in God--of God above all things of earth that is the ultimate adjuration that Jesus reminds us.  It is this same, ultimate reminder that we have from the prophets of the Old Testament and of God Himself.  

It is this ultimate, oft-repeated lesson in the Word of God, of the Living Word--Jesus--and of all the apostles, then of the saints and mystics through out the centuries.  It is this same enjoinment that will always be given us no matter the format, for those who dare listen, embrace, and attempt to live it.

Love God above all else.

A friend balks when reading some of the writings of Pseudo-Macarius and other great mystic saints who not only lived on this earth but lived in heaven while on earth and who live on in their writings and spirits among us.  How is it that we should "despise the world"?  I point out that often enough the wise ones with lived experience in such matters mean not to despise God in His creation, but to love God in His All, more and fully.  

Thus, the soul is in love with His Real Presence.  Love of the world pales, dwindles, begins to disappear like sight fades in the presence of all-consuming Light.

Love God above all else.  Let love of God and His love of us rule all our thinking, saying, doing, being.  To love, to learn to love, to love God and others is the meaning of all of life.  

This Love is not to be found in laws, not even ecclesial laws, no matter how helpful they may be in guiding and setting parameters.  They also can distract and prevent an entering into God Is Love if a person does not move beyond the laws into the greatest commandment, the highest law:  Love!  Love God and love others above all else!

Those who grasp a bit of this have grasped much.  Those who cannot yet grasp, will do so, if not soon, then later, and surely eventually.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  God Is Love!

A Psalm by Which to Live

Ps 105:1-7

O give thanks to the Lord, call on his name,
   make known his deeds among the peoples.
Sing to him, sing praises to him;
   tell of all his wonderful works.
Glory in his holy name;
   let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice.
Seek the Lord and his strength;
   seek his presence continually.
Remember the wonderful works he has done,
   his miracles, and the judgements he has uttered,
He is the Lord our God;
   his judgements are in all the earth. 

Sometimes we may forget that His Living Word dwells in us, and us in Him, each and every present moment.  Scriptures breathe in us and have meaning and actual being, for they are His Being: living and active and a double-edged sword.  They have soul, for they have His Soul.  And they thus absorb into His Real Presence, our beings and our souls.

This song the other morning caught this hermit's body, mind, heart, and soul.  All of a sudden it realized that these words are alive with the Being and Breath of God.  It is a call to present moment holiness.  Each line gives us instruction in how to live, how to feel, how to be.

Each adjuration, each exhortation, each delight in thought and exclamation, is a plan of life, specifically and essentially. If we took just this Psalm as a guide by which to live one day, we would be living an ultimate, holy purpose:  to glorify God.

Of course, the power of His Living Word exists in the fullness of Scriptures.  It is a joy to remember this truth.  His Real Presence IS the Word.  Since the Most Holy Trinity comes to make His abode in us and invites us to live in Him, we become one with His Living Word.  It enlivens us and breathes through our beings.  And since God Is Love, His Living Word is love, as well.

Living with His Real Presence in His Living Word, daily and nightly, always produces love through, with, and in Him.  The Scriptures are filled with His Real Presence.  Each Scripture has the power and glory of God.  He lives in each, and we may live in Him and share in living and loving within His Living Word.  Then it breathes and speaks love to others in thought, word, and deed.

This is truly simple, is it not?

Let us try to live in His Real Presence and breathe and be and love in His Living Word.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, for love is of God.  Remain in His Love!

His Living Word

Severe pain presents itself in the Order of the Present Moment.  Low back is on fire like hot embers consistently burning and then with eruptions of sparks into flames, spontaneously, from time to time. No wonder the high level spinal headache yesterday, tenacious against any medications.

How challenging to attempt conversations in which one person asks about our lives, but when we ask about theirs, the other remains tight-lipped.  It is a way to control the situation and seems to be the result of some hurt or offense that was taken and is being held captive and not let go.

Thankfully, we have the Living Word of God in which to communicate and from which to receive communication.  If we remember to ask Jesus about His life, He will tell us.  He speaks to us of daily situations and of life in general. He speaks to us of souls and how to exist as souls, one with another and with Him.

His Living Word is glorious, per usual.  His Living Word is very much of the Order of the Present Moment and for all souls for all earth and all time.  These, His Words, come on the breath of the Holy Spirit.  He guides us, comforts us, teaches and chastises, truly present to each moment in our lives.  This is how God reaches into us.

Each person who reads His Living Words, the Scriptures of the Holy Bible, or who listens as others proclaim aloud, or who ponders the Word from memory of certain verses and content, is personally and individually touched, affected, altered by His Real Presence:  Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Despite all our unique flaws and personality quirks, the living Word of God communicates with us, in us, for us, without any passive aggression or control mechanisms.  He gives freely and openly of life-sustaining and life-altering, life and soul-improving Words.

Truly, this is a great gift from God and a marvel, an on-going, living miracle for everyone.

God bless His Real Presence in is!  Little children, as we are, let us love one another!

Sharing Experinces: God Is So Real

"So have no fear of them; 
for nothing is covered up that will not be uncovered, 
and nothing secret that will not become known. 

What I say to you in the dark, 
tell in the light; 
and what you hear whispered, 
proclaim from the housetops. 

Do not fear those who kill the body 
but cannot kill the soul; 
rather fear him who can destroy 
both soul and body in hell. 

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? 
Yet not one of them will fall to the ground 
unperceived by your Father. 

And even the hairs of your head are all counted. 
So do not be afraid; 
you are of more value than many sparrows." 

These Words of Jesus fascinate and stir the mind and soul.  I recall years past when the Holy Spirit began to actively awaken my inner life to various spiritual experiences, drawing me closer to Jesus Christ and the Father.  I kept a journal, and sometimes I shared some dreams and visions with a close friend or two.  But I did not understand what was what, as far as putting labels to the phenomenon, and I did not have a repertoire of some of the personages and understanding what the messages may mean in the future.

Since two-thirds of my life thus far was lived as a Protestant Christian, I can compare and contrast the understanding to the recent "third" of my life as a Catholic Christian.

God called me into the Catholic Church, bit by bit, over the course of ten years.  He utilized a couple of colleagues, another doctoral student in the psychology studies, references in some books.  He then began utilizing visions, both corporeal and image visions, as well as locutions and dreams.  He utilized (and still does) all these tools at His disposal and creation, plus He utilizes His Living Word, worship, prayer, and temporal world situations and experiences.

As a Protestant, sharing how God works in our lives seemed to be more acceptable in some ways.  However, perhaps some of what I shared with a friend or two seemed odd to them.  I do recall one who hummed "The Twilight Zone" theme song; and a woman, when I shared in an adult Sunday school class a dream involving a soul on the other side, came to my house with concern that I was a necromancer who consulted the dead.  However, over all, we shared freely our love of Christ and how He actively, directly and indirectly interacted in our lives and souls.

As a Catholic, I learned that seemingly people do not share their spiritual lives but rather are counseled to not tell anyone anything.  However, I find it contradictory when I and others--even some priests--read various books which are extremely helpful and inspiring and are filled with that person's spiritual experiences and what God taught them, and how He made Himself so real to them in their daily lives.  Obviously, the person writing the book or the person writing about the person's spiritual life, shared in detail how God worked in their lives.  

Sometimes I read of persons in the past century or so, doing so "only" out of obedience to a priest or superior who ordered them to share.  But most often, they wrote or others wrote what the person told them, as a call to do so from God. Perhaps it was a result of grasping His Living Word and realizing that such sharing helps and inspires others of us who are striving to do God's will, to love Him as Himself and others in Him.

However, some experiences, and maybe most, I did not share so openly.  I had to learn how to suggest to someone to see a doctor, if I was shown an illness or something life-threatening.  Then I had to learn how to accept if the person did not accept the suggestion and died.  I also had to learn how to cope if I was shown something but did not say anything, and rather prayed.  If the person died, then I had to deal with wondering if I had had the courage to say something to warn him or her.

It took learning to listen and discern, such as if I was told "He does not have long to live!"  In that case, I discerned it was a statement of fact.  However, as it turned out, had I said something to the person, there would have been ample time for surgery to remove a blood clot.  I still feel bad about that one, but I lacked courage and was too selfish, knowing if the man complained to Rev. Msgr., I would have been chastised.  And if I got the showing wrong--oh my.  

For already in the case of a young priest who was preyed upon by a thrice-divorced woman, the Rev. Msgr. told me to only pray.  But the Bishop told me to write to him and pray, so I wrote, and I reminded the young priest of how he was shown to me in a crowd when a stranger to me and a seminarian.  He was at a parish ice cream social, one among a crowd of 200 or more.  He distinctively stood out--and no, was not wearing black nor a clerical collar.  

I reminded him, and I also shared a vision I was shown of how the devil was tempting him through the woman, and that otherwise he had quite a calling ahead of him.  (This was after he became a priest.)  But he left and married.  I have no idea how his life is going, but he gave up when he had been truly anointed by the Holy Spirit.  I will never forget that waking vision, and having him stand out as anointed, in the crowd.

Continued in next post....