God's Gift to Jesus

"Father, they are your gift to me"  (from John 17).

This line intrigues.  The sentiment amazes.  How can Jesus, knowing He is going to suffer and die a horrible death, plus having suffered people misunderstanding Him and persecuting--how can He consider us as gifts to Him from God the Father?

How are we "gifts"?  What are we to Jesus that He can possibly consider us as a gift to Him?

This hermit wonders.  It awoke early this morning, tired per usual, reaching for and chewing up an extra strength Excedrin, chewing a half a pain med, swallowing a prescription anti-inflammatory, rising to use the chamber pot and filling a glass with a vegetable and fruit pureed drink and water. Painful body and painful thoughts broke through, per usual, and the hermit considered that its life has been filled with suffering.  

Yet, the hermit offered a thought of praise to God and considered that even if not here, in over its head with heavy labor that it cannot do physically alone, what would be much different elsewhere? The life of suffering would remain; and would the hermit serve the Lord any better?

Well, perhaps.  This place--the temporal aspects of it--has been a demoralizing strain and a tremendous spiritual challenge, both.  Again, though, what would this body, mind, heart, and spirit be doing any differently in a clean and functional abode?  True, the body and mind would have more comforts and organization.  The mind would be free to be more creative artistically, perhaps, and to hopefully lift up others--have the energy to do so--in more tangible ways.

But what difference?  Even the desire to "do something" with one's life, to "do something" for God with one's life, oozes of attachments to temporal loves--temporal love of perceived success and purpose.  When, in reality, the body would yet require silence and solitude, and it would be constantly managing the physical suffering which affects the thoughts and emotions.

That is this hermit's doing something with its life and doing something for God.  As for "being," the temporal circumstances should not affect "being."  The mind and heart and spirit--the soul with its intellect and will--manage the "being" part of life.  And in this, the hermit figures it can be a gift, a more pleasant and delightful and worthwhile gift for His Real Presence--even though Jesus has not put any stipulations on His "gifts".

He tells the Father in the prayer, as written in John 17, that we are the Father's gift to Him.  My, oh my, what an uplifting and humbling consideration--that we are the Father's gift to Jesus, and Jesus views and accepts us as such.

Jesus did not say we are gifts to Him if we are pleasant or doing great things with our lives, or if we manage our temporal pain and suffering well.  He accepts us as we are.  Perhaps it is this tremendous, unconditional love of Jesus for us and His magnanimous consideration of us as "gifts" given Him by God the Father, that causes us, at least some of us, to want to be as good of gifts as humanly possible.

And that broaches the problem we face as humans.  We cannot be marvelous gifts by our own doing and efforts.  We seem only to become better the more we become dependent to the tiniest of details, upon His Real Presence: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  Furthermore, as gifts, He wants us to accept His love and His gift--bequeathed to us by Him--of peace.  He wants us to love Him and to be assured that He and the Father are One, and the Father loves us, and that He has sent the Holy Spirit to be with us ever since His Ascension, following our misunderstanding, persecuting, and killing Him.

Yes, it is all quite a lot to absorb...Jesus acknowledging to the Father that we are God's gift to Him.

The reality of what Jesus says and how He views us as gifts, changes temporal suffering, insecurities, and stresses to try to do this or that in order to please others and to please Him, into a peacefulness that approaches sweet death and release.   The push and the concerns are on hold, if not off the list. This present moment, this day, this hermit will bask in Jesus's considering it as God's gift to Him.  

What This Catholic Hermit So Desires!

These lines from Pseudo-Macarius's Third Homily (5th or early 6th c.) encapsulate what this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit and basic God-created soul desires:

"And the Lord has clothed them with the garments of the kingdom of unspeakable light, the garment of faith, hope, love, joy, peace, goodness, human warmth, and all the other divine and living garments of life, light, and ineffable tranquility.  The result is that, as God is love and joy and peace and kindness and goodness, so too the new man may become by grace."

Have been trying to turn over a new leaf.  Am ashamed of behavior of these past two years.  Too much negativity; darkness had entered in.  By the grace of God and being touched by the Holy Spirit and nudged by the guardian angel, Beth, am striving to be opened by His grace--opened like a shuttered window, stuck far too long.

The sun has been shining; and tonight, a full moon lights the darkness.

God bless His Real Presence IN us:  Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

One of Those Odd Things

Finally took a small tin of St. Bernard Love of God Bourbon Balls to the monks nearby in thanks for bringing me aspirin one morning when needed it in order to go a distance to get stronger meds in civilization.  Bad spinal headache, but not as bad as this past week, that is for sure!

The abbot had one of the priests give tour of their grounds.  We talked of our shared experience with losing thousands of dollars to contractors.  He said he felt so terrible because he thought he had been so careful and researched and trusted, then lost their money.  Well, that was a shared experience down to the details.

The abbot offered again invitation to their Sunday morning service, with a "come as you are" statement, no doubt observing the paint stained jeans and old shirt.  Some day that will change if live long enough and get the place fixed enough to have a closet.

The priest who showed the grounds also conversed.  We spoke of the hermit vocation, and he shared of their times in the day of prayer, the Hours, as is called.  They do not do them rigidly always at set times, other than early morning and evening are more feasible to have set times.  And, they double a couple of the "hours" due to other work and efforts needing their attention, being two priests and a monk.  There are three cells with another building with a room for a novice.  One was there, but had not found his vocation to be a monk or priest.

Then mentioned the issue of coming to grips with this nothing Catholic hermit's vocation seeming to now be moving in a far more austere manner, and accepting this.  Mentioned the parish life conundrum, as well as the disconnect with parish priests, as well as their seeming fear or concerns with the mystical state during Mass.

None of this phased Fr. P. of the monastery.  He said emphatically that God is just showing that hermits are not intended for parishes, and parishes are not the place for hermits.  He added that parish priests and most diocesan personnel also do not have much background in the eremitic life, not as it truly has been lived historically, other than a notion here or there that may or may not have accuracy-- but not the deeper grasp of the hermit vocation.

Thus, it is best for hermits to have some sharing at times with other hermits who are like-minded, and living our vocations with God guiding and not struggling with those who do not have this vocation, and thus also do not have experience to be giving advice or counsel.

In under an hour of viewing the grounds which took little time but noticed many books we share on our shelves, and found tremendous peace in their chapel, the conversation resulted in peace and calm.  The Lord is kind and merciful.  He had to reach in yet again and affirm His will be done, by yet another, and this time hermit priests who have been living the life for decades, to assure that now it is time to fully embrace this hermit vocation and do not enter in again to the parish realm.

There is a place to possibly worship, now, on Sundays, and on occasion may join them for Vespers if call in advance.  By evening, this Catholic hermit is usually very worn out and in bed with dusk.  And in the desert, dusk arrives earlier and earlier as we enter into the weeks toward the end of this liturgical year.

The hermit priest did say that on Sunday mornings, anywhere from five to 15 come for service, but usually the fewer number.  After services, they have a shared meal in their community room.  They observe Communion fast from midnight on, as will this Catholic hermit.  Used to do that, anyway.  A good meal once a week has its blessed appeal.  But if am in pain and cannot get up in time for their early morning service, that is fully understood.

Yes, Fr. P. (a priest in his later years) said it is time now for this one, solitary hermit, to fully accept the evolving hermit vocation into its austerity and silence and solitude.  He laughed when we discussed how this hermit has more quiet than do they, for they get calls from people wanting to visit their monastery and are known more publicly, even if a very small monastery.  Am encouraged.  Was not expecting such encouragement and PEACE.

It's an odd thing.  This morning, early, was coming, within the deeper self, to the words that one must be true to His Real Presence deep inside--trusting, trusting--no matter what others may think or how they criticize.  Sometimes there is no explaining to others, possible; and one has simply to trust in God and not doubt what He is ordaining through circumstances.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, for love is of God!

Catholic Hermits and Sunday Obligation: Excellent Blogpost

Just came across for second time, a blog on Unam Sanctam Catholicam, Sunday, November 12, 2012.  How did hermits meet the Sunday obligation?

It is well-documented plus reasonably thought and presented.  This blog is not written by hermit, but the blogger has certainly broached a topic that has been a conundrum and weight on this Catholic hermit's mind, heart and soul for awhile.  In the past three weeks, the answer has been given and validated repeatedly by God through various others.  And, deep peace has settled within.

Now, am offering more to His Real Presence, in whatever ways He wills, as to any aspect of the eremitic vocation, lived out by this "nothing" but very Catholic, avowed and professed, hermit of nearly 14 years.

The past two days, The Lord has allowed the most severest of spinal headaches in recent or distant recall.  Last night, thought perhaps had an artery or vein leak...some aneurism.  Was content and in peace, and the thought of quietly passing all the more seemed a grace.  Yes, the hermit vocation has now become just that accepted and beautiful since the conflict that this hermit had allowed to brew within.  How many ways did The Lord need to tell, to show, to affirm that His ways are not our ways and not even the notions of the very learned priests of His days on earth or of ours?

Considering the history of hermits in the past 2000 years (including John the Baptist and various hermit prophets) and prior, of Old Testament hermits even if not termed thus, it all makes sense now--the judging by others and even by self, and the concerns of this or that way and posture and fitting in or not...not being as others or even as this hermit thought ought be.

Had already come to the understanding that this particular "nothing's" Catholic hermit vocation was following more along the lines of those who were in remote areas, suffered much, and remained quite physically hidden and far from parishes and Mass attendance.

The reality of His Real Presence in Scriptures, as the Sacrament available and accessible day and night to hermits, settled in the other morning.

God provides!

Another devout Catholic friend, across many hundreds of earthly miles, called yesterday.  It all made sense to yet another.  And the less frequency of human contacts via phone is another indication of how God may and can inform our daily living out of the eremitic life.  It all depends upon what He chooses and wills, hermit by hermit.

Odd as it seems, the friend laughed and agreed that it is as if this "nothing" who kept insisting on trying to fulfill what it thought the proper and necessary Catholic obligations, was instead causing Divine intervention in more and more ways to block the doors being pushed.  As a result, the more and increasingly bizarre the events utilized to try to get through to this hermit:  Not what God wants and wills, at least not at this time.

How patient and merciful is His Real Presence with us in our various and individual vocations!  It has been a strange and bumpy road these fourteen years as a Catholic hermit.  May this hermit be far more resilient to future vocational wishes He desires!

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one a other as He has loved us!

His Living Word

Severe pain presents itself in the Order of the Present Moment.  Low back is on fire like hot embers consistently burning and then with eruptions of sparks into flames, spontaneously, from time to time. No wonder the high level spinal headache yesterday, tenacious against any medications.

How challenging to attempt conversations in which one person asks about our lives, but when we ask about theirs, the other remains tight-lipped.  It is a way to control the situation and seems to be the result of some hurt or offense that was taken and is being held captive and not let go.

Thankfully, we have the Living Word of God in which to communicate and from which to receive communication.  If we remember to ask Jesus about His life, He will tell us.  He speaks to us of daily situations and of life in general. He speaks to us of souls and how to exist as souls, one with another and with Him.

His Living Word is glorious, per usual.  His Living Word is very much of the Order of the Present Moment and for all souls for all earth and all time.  These, His Words, come on the breath of the Holy Spirit.  He guides us, comforts us, teaches and chastises, truly present to each moment in our lives.  This is how God reaches into us.

Each person who reads His Living Words, the Scriptures of the Holy Bible, or who listens as others proclaim aloud, or who ponders the Word from memory of certain verses and content, is personally and individually touched, affected, altered by His Real Presence:  Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Despite all our unique flaws and personality quirks, the living Word of God communicates with us, in us, for us, without any passive aggression or control mechanisms.  He gives freely and openly of life-sustaining and life-altering, life and soul-improving Words.

Truly, this is a great gift from God and a marvel, an on-going, living miracle for everyone.

God bless His Real Presence in is!  Little children, as we are, let us love one another!

Where Is the Freedom and the Joy?

How appropriate for this blog post is today's Scripture from 1 Corinthians 12:12-21!~

 "For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in the one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and we were all made to drink of one Spirit.
  
"Indeed, the body does not consist of one member but of many. If the foot were to say, ‘Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body’, that would not make it any less a part of the body. And if the ear were to say, ‘Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body’, that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the hearing be? If the whole body were hearing, where would the sense of smell be? But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. If all were a single member, where would the body be? As it is, there are many members, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I have no need of you’, nor again the head to the feet, ‘I have no need of you.’ On the contrary, the members of the body that seem to be weaker are indispens- able, and those members of the body that we think less honourable we clothe with greater honour, and our less respectable members are treated with greater respect; whereas our more respectable members do not need this. But God has so arranged the body, giving the greater honour to the inferior member, that there may be no dissension within the body, but the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honoured, all rejoice together with it.
  
"Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. And God has appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers; then deeds of power, then gifts of healing, forms of assistance, forms of leadership, various kinds of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? Do all possess gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues? Do all interpret? But strive for the greater gifts. And I will show you a still more excellent way,"

 

Where is the freedom and the joy?  What is the still more excellent way?  What are the greater gifts for which we are to strive?

Where is the freedom and the joy? was a question recently asked of a dear friend.  She had admitted that she and her husband (both elderly and life-long Catholics) had been shunned and treated coldly, and their son and his wife mistreated, in their town's two parishes.  She assumed it was due to their having moved there (now years ago) from another state.  Outsiders, she said. 

The situation came to a point in which she had more upset being among the other parishioners than good for the soul.  She and her husband have not been back.  But she said when they visit their adult daughters who live in different cities, they are welcomed and find parishes with healthy and vibrant priests and parishioners who are loving and charitable.  She also commented that she and her husband now pray together and have devotions more than they ever had, together, daily.

She repeated how horribly this "nothing" had been treated in those same two parishes in the hometown.  But as a convert, it seemed more reasonable (if that is the correct word to explain lack of charity) that parishioners would react negatively to someone new in their midst.  "Nothing" was and yet is horrified that this deeply Christian, warm and loving older woman was put through the grinder. 

Man's inhumanity to man is alive and thriving within the Church.

However, the woman is heartened by the fact that she and her husband can attend Mass in loving parishes with active and focused priests, when they visit their daughters.  And she recalls the parish and priest where they lived prior to moving to the new location 20 or more years ago.  This woman always repeats, when we talk on occasion, that "nothing" was the only person who approached her and spoke and included in a couple of outreach ministries that "nothing" was inspired by the Lord to develop.  Ah, yes, those little efforts were met with eventual ousting.  This woman commented how vicious in particular, was one of the priests toward "nothing."  She said she always felt the people's issues had to do with their envy.  Not sure of that, personally, but this was her assessment.

So it goes.  And the wondrous aspect of it all, is that this woman is touched.  She has always stood out as charitable and spiritual, as warm and especially anointed, spiritually.  Surely this is part of why the fearful ones have reacted negatively.  It is difficult for people of a certain mindset and way of being, to accept the occasional "feathers on the breath of God" who sometimes float into their midst.

In the history of the Church, such people are dotted through the centuries and through the parishes and monasteries.  Names come to mind, one after another, of those who were called to something more and in different ways.  As the old spiritual father used to tell "nothing", it is as if the farmer has put a marker on one of the chicks, and the others do all they can to peck it to death because they sense it is "different."

However, this aspect of humanity sensing and fearing what is different or "touched", can sometimes unfold in positive ways.  Consider Joseph whose brothers were envious and found him to be the dreamer and different. They sold him into slavery.  In a different location and in different circumstances, Joseph was desirable and useful to the Pharoah.  It all worked out for good and in God's will and ultimate purposes.  Joseph had a certain vocation.

And that leads to the current situation of discerning God's will in "nothing's" continued seeking to fit in to parishes in a viable and giving way.  Just is not going to unfold, and this was foretold many years ago when in the first parish.  In a dream, nothing was desperately trying to catch up with, to join in, the parishioners who were off in the distance, entering a "plane".  Nothing tried in vain to reach them, but exhaustion, pain, and eventually getting stuck in mud resulted in a collapse on the edge of a beautiful expanse of green meadow.  Off in the distance could be seen the parishioners as a large and cohesive group, boarding the plane, and "nothing" had not a chance left to reach them.

Three ancient-looking desert fathers came along, drifting more than walking, across the lush, green grass in the meadow, not far from where "nothing" knelt, mud-covered and depleted from fruitless efforts in joining the parishioners.  The three men, dressed in flowing, off-white tunics, their long, white beards flowing also, rather windswept but all about only stillness, pointed and spoke.

They turned their heads back toward the distant plane with the parishioners boarding it, and they said, "You do not belong with them.  You are to remain here with us, and we will teach you."

This same message was given several years later, again in a dream, in which Mary and Martha beckoned "nothing" to enter a room which mystically appeared off a corridor of a school building.  It was a room that was not visible to others, in general.  They spoke, also.  "Stay here with us, and we will teach you."  (It was rather amazing to note that both Mary and Martha were contemplatives, which makes sense, because both are now on the other side, in heaven, and there is no "being busy or concerned about many things" in heaven.  We will all be contemplatives then and there.)

Regarding the conversation the other day with the parish employee, and reflecting upon previous reactions of wariness to what "nothing" would offer to assist or do, it is not so much a matter of priests and parishioners being fearful and wary of someone who they perceive as different, or to topics that are beyond the more safely temporal topics, including more basic books being read for discussion groups, or more secular programs--all safe and accommodating to the common denominator.  Perhaps that is the best for parishes in some ways, at least safe and not going to rock any boats or stir coals.  It suits the desires, perhaps, of the general populace of Catholics.

What is significant is to grasp when one does not fit into such a scenario.  It simply means one fits into some other scenario.  And in the night, when reminded of the three desert fathers, and reminded of Mary and Martha, and also of a visit from an earthly dad after he was on the other side but came to give three messages, the messages of each and all were the same content.  "You don't belong in that world, with the others.  You belong in a different setting.

This is all about the eremitic vocation, the hermit existence, whether termed hermit or something other, such as St. Joseph LaBre called himself a wandering pilgrim.  In essence and substance, he was a hermit who wandered until he settled in Rome and lived as a homeless man, yet a very religious and spiritual homeless man.  He lived as Jesus lived, no pillow for his head nor place to call "home."

Not all hermits (in fact, probably not many) have interactive lives with parishes.  Those who do, well and good.  It must be God's will for the unfolding of their vocations. But for most hermits and also for mystics, historically and realistically, they were not embraced by nor accepted in parishes. They just don't belong to "that world."  They don't fit in, and there are many reasons for it, and good reasons.

It is not a negative--nothing to berate the parishioners or priests for being unyielding.  It is a positive for the person who does not fit neatly into that paradigm or structure.  Jesus certainly did not fit into the temple world of His days on earth.  Yet others did fit, and that is positive and good.

Yes, it has to do with vocation, and what is God's will and purpose and the means and ways of how He wishes a soul in a person on this earth to grow and bloom.

We will each and all be utilized spiritually if we desire to please God, to be in His will, and to love God and others as He loves us.

As for "nothing" and parishes, or for any of those who did not fit in, they were always utilized by God for His good purposes.  There is nothing wrong about parish employees and priests being wary or in having set ways of wanting things to be.  Much of that has to do with leadership and management styles. Much has to do with individual temperaments and personalities, and a lot has to do with faith and risk-taking, and also what the person in charge of others experiences in his or her own spiritual lives.  It has a lot to do with comfort zones and comfort levels.  None of this is wrong or bad.

But for those who are floaters, not dockers, who are more like "feathers on the breath of God" than stones set in concrete for a lovely mosaic, the former belong to the freedom and joy of His Real Presence's stairway to heaven than in any active aspect of a parish setting.

Up high, painting the shingle siding, tediously brushing in between each crevice between shingles, so much gets worked out in reasonable fashion, with the Holy Spirit.  All makes sense, and no one person or way is better or worse than another.  They are just different, with different purposes and different ways of being and different outcomes.

There is freedom and joy in different settings and circumstances.  The hermit life allows for variation and depth of spiritual seeking, and in spiritual finding.  There is freedom and joy in this vocation, and God knows what He is doing when He calls a relatively few to the hermit life.  Yet the relatively few who have this vocation regardless of designation in church terms, understand the necessary discernment regarding parishes and parish life, and whether or not his or her hermit vocation has much or little or no active or visible involvement.

In this "nothing" Catholic hermit's current unfolding, there is to be no active or visible involvement in parishes.  All the utilization will be done in a hidden, spiritual and prayerful existence.  This is Patmos, after all, and for whatever time or for the rest of "nothing's" earthly time, the "parish" will be with the three desert fathers, or with Mary and Martha, or not of that world, but of this other world in which the freedom and joy is unmistakable.

Mystically, of course, and in essence, there is a parish connection, very much so.  We are all connected as souls in the Body of Christ:  through, with and in Him.  This is where there is freedom, joy, and the peace that passes all understanding and is Christ's peace bequeathed upon us.

God bless His Real Presence in all of us!  Little children, let us love one another, for God Is Love!