Catholic Hermit: Giving Up Stuff

His Real Presence leads us, it seems, thematically.  In our daily lives themes recycle until we grow through the phases, one after another.  Often, the themes recycle again and again in other levels and with varying circumstances and details.  Can we see this in each of our temporal and spiritual lives?

Today's Gospel is from Matthew 19.  The Word may be alarming to some, for it sounds severe, even extreme.

"And everyone who has given up houses or brothers or sisters
or father or mother or children or lands
for the sake of my name will receive a hundred times more,
and will inherit eternal life."

Jesus is asked, off and on, in His public ministry years what it takes to enter the Kingdom of God.  What must we do to be followers of Christ?

This past Saturday while in the mystical state during Mass, the Lord taught me a bit of "stuff" that hinders, that I must give up.  It is an answer to prayer, the showing of the particular "possession."  Coincidentally, the priest had some temporal comments to make, all fine.  But as I've explained before, when in the ecstasy, if there are temporal aspects, appropriate or not, good or not, I can recall those or recall the gist.  If it is spiritual, then there is no memory recall and simply bliss.

Of course, priests do well to include temporal examples in teaching, just as Jesus did.  The priest was making excellent points--quite brief but pithy.  With a heat wave in effect, he mentioned a priest he knew who gave a 32nd homily...or was it 30-second homily?  So a little joke there, but I could hear the priest ask if given the heat, if parishioners would prefer a 30-second homily or a longer one?

Ah, of course--the 30-second one seemed for the best under the temporal circumstances.  What the priest spoke about might have taken a bit longer, but he challenged everyone to ponder this week, just what it really means in our own, daily lives to actually follow Christ.

During his brief remarks and a bit after, into the prelude to consecration of the host and wine into the Body and Blood of Christ, I noticed the ecstasy to be rather light.  I began to notice the thoughts in my mind, like bees in a bee hive buzzing about.  They were not negative thoughts--but were thoughts all the same of this person to pray for or that situation, or other extraneous tidbits and reminders.

Then I recognized the message that dovetailed with the priest's very brief message that contained much to reflect upon and apply to our lives.  The Lord was showing me how brief and succinct is God in His messages and teachings; and how many thoughts are in my mind.

You see, after the death of my will and it being replaced by God's Will, I have been praying for my thoughts, my mind, to be replaced by His Thoughts, His Mind, His Insights.  I had come to understand that my own thoughts were not so cohesive much of the time, with His Will that had replaced my will.

During Mass, the bee hive of my mind was so buzzing with thought-bees, I got the message by being shown the difference between His Thoughts and mine.  God's Thoughts are to-the-point and do not keep buzzing round and round, in and out.  My thoughts tend to do that; they can swarm sometimes!  The negative ones now are easy enough to toss out or bar entrance to my hive-mind.  But the busy-bee thoughts--even though hard at well-intentioned work--are noisy and profuse.

I had felt such a tremendous freedom once I stopped the negative thoughts over a week ago. I broke free from the prison I had allowed my mind to become--a cell of pain and hardship thoughts.  The burden of all that has been dramatically lifted!  It seemed as if there was lots of free space in my mind, in my soul!

But no, where the negative thoughts had been run out, many more neutral or even positive thoughts multiplied and filled the mental space.  How could the Lord get a Word in edgewise?  Well, His Mind could come knocking at the door of my busy bee hive-mind and find no room in the "inn".  

Thus, in my pondering as how I can follow Jesus in my daily life, and in the answer to my prayer for God's Mind to replace my mind, for His Thoughts to replace my thoughts, I must give up my thoughts, in effect.  And part of all that includes having to give up some relationships, or types of relationships, that are heavy-laden with my thoughts, not God's Thoughts.

Of course there is much we can give up--aspects of our temporal lives, of temporal "stuff" we can give up and should give up if we are to follow Christ and be fit to enter His Kingdom.  Yet also there are aspects of our souls, in all the rings or levels of our souls right into the center where is the will and the intellect, that we can give up, bit by bit or in chunk after chunk.

A little exercise I am practicing this week is to inquire of His Real Presence, Him in me and me in Him, is to ask:  Is this thought God's Thought, or is this thought my thought?  Most often at this point of the exercise, the thoughts are mine.  But increasingly my thoughts will subside, dissipate, buzz away, or drop dead of natural causes like bees who have worked themselves out of fruition....

Now, to rid out the thoughts that are not God's--I'm not sure we humans could or should completely clear out all our thoughts.  In our temporal lives, we have thoughts coming in often--and all the time if we avail ourselves to cell phones, laptops, televisions, radios, videos, movies, news, and all the i-tech gadgets that keep communications flowing.

However, we can simplify and manage the thoughts.  And we can, such as I am to do, rid out as many of my own thoughts, especially the negative and pointless ones, and begin to identify and grasp God's Thoughts.  For if He has made His Abode in us, He certainly has within His Thoughts to impart in us.  

I know this to be true, for in the night when my hive-mind is less buzzing and the bee-thoughts are at rest, God's Insights are able to make honey in my soul.  Or sometimes in the day when I am asking Him something, He answers if my hive-mind is alert and cleared enough to hear and listen.

Amazingly (as His Real Presence is amazing grace), after He showed me my busy bee thoughts swarming my hive-mind, accentuated in the mystical ecstasy during Mass--the thoughts became stilled, and throughout the Consecration and following, it was once again bliss--until the end-of Mass announcements of temporal good things, yes.  But the spiritual, the mystical aspect of Mass is bliss, is heaven on earth.

When we give up stuff in order to follow Christ and enter into His Kingdom, we increasingly climb the stairway to heaven and experience degrees of bliss in whatever manner and grace He bequeaths.  His attributes bring peace, truth, beauty, goodness, bliss and blessedness.

I'm sure there will be more stuff, material or immaterial, for me to give up in order to increasingly, fully follow Christ and enter into His Kingdom.  For now, my assignment is to discern thoughts.  

I must seek out and identify His Thoughts which will multiply when I quiet or rid out or bar busy bee thoughts.  The busy bee thoughts can be from without my  mind--busy thoughts from others in various input modalities.  Yet I can shut the windows and doors of my mind-hive to the extraneous and unnecessary.  Just as I was, others might be surprised by how many thoughts are swarming our minds, taking up space that otherwise could be available to God's Thoughts, God's Insights, His Wisdom.

Of course, we must emphasize that giving up stuff is done for one ideal, one purpose, One Lord: Jesus Christ!  We are giving up our "possessions", that which possesses us, for His name's sake.

This is work; it takes some desire and effort.  Cleaning a house is far easier, but ridding my bee hive mind of my buzzing thoughts is going to be fruitful and increasingly freeing in a fruitful way.  Within I will find the honey of God's Mind, sweetening my soul--the effects of which can be shared with others in nuanced ways.  I have no idea exactly how, but we will find out!

I do know this:  God's Thoughts are not busy nor buzzing.  They are succinct, clear, pure, not worrisome nor repetitive, not possessive but freeing and quiet.

God bless His Real Presence in us--our bodies, minds, hearts, and spirits!  Yes, I pray for His Real Presence to find plenty of room in the inn of our bodies, minds, hearts, and spirits.

Catholic Hermit Waking

It may seem strange to some that a person, let alone a consecrated Catholic Hermit could wake up in the morning and feel a deep "ugh."

Can any of you readers grasp the degree of pain to cause such a reaction to being bodily alive?  Perhaps some of you share the type of pain, or at least at times in your life.  It is not pain that has one writhing with acute trauma, although that may happen from time to time.  This pain is deep, intractable, relentless, heavy, potent.  The mind and emotions do all to cope, even combat the thoughts and feelings.

There is plenty of self-blaming.  The mind can go to the past and consider situations involved or instrumental in the causes of such life-altering pain.  The mind can remand images to the fore, and to alter the images into what-ifs of other scenarios, false but appealing.

There is plenty of forgiving those who helped exacerbate the pain.  There is resentment yet gratitude for the pain medications one relies upon at this later phase of life when the brain is stripped of its pain-coping, natural chemicals, the nerve synapses worn from years of over-use.  There is prayer, now more simple, wordless conversation.  Or if words, something basic like, "Lord, let the pain be prayer."  Or, "Lord, let this desire to be out of this body in this temporal life, be prayer."

One thing for certain, the Lord knows more than we do, the degree of pain and suffering within our bodies.  He understands.  He has mercy.  He's been there, done that, in His time on earth.  And let us not kid ourselves that he is not in touch every present moment with great suffering, now and all these years since and prior to his approximately 33 years in an earthly body.  He knows pain through and through.  He lives suffering because He has His Abode in us.

And we know His yoke because we are in Him...at least those of us Christians, the baptized, the espoused, the followers of Jesus, the sinners trying to do our best yet falling short.

Today's Gospel reading in the daily Mass comforts all of us and perhaps especially gives support to the ones with great physical pain as well as those with emotional and mental pain.  At times, they all touch, weave, intersect in some small or large way.

Jesus tells us to take His yoke upon us.  His yoke is easy, His burden is light.  We can each figure it out, although many have written eloquently and some at length, about what Jesus means with these Living Words.  Take His yoke upon us.  His yoke is easy, His burden light.

Perhaps it is enough to not think on it much.  Just do what He says with simple, humble, weary and pain-tired faith.

There, I've done it right now.  Yesterday the thoughts were in battle until afternoon, conflicting with my thought and His thoughts on pain and life here or life on the other side, shedding the body, molting style.  This morning my thoughts are now His thoughts, for taking His yoke insures that all will be His, not mine.

I may have to repeat His adjuring Words:  Take My yoke upon you.  Sometimes we need repetition in order to learn, in order to make habitual an act or thought.  It is simple enough.  And with faith, all things are possible.  Why make it complicated and hard?

If Jesus says His yoke is easy, then it surely is easy enough to mentally put it on in image, word, thought.  if Jesus says His burden is light, then it surely is simply based upon His saying so.  We can find out as we go along.

Catholic Hermit's Living Word Boot-Kick

Yesterday, was good to make the trip to civilization despite the usual, increased pain aftermaths.  It is delightful to interact with others such as the occasional clerk, or the man where I get the black bark mulch.  As a child and into adulthood, this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit had been socialized well by parents who valued a well-rounded personality.  I'm grateful!

I can "shoot the breeze" as readily as not and most often evoke laughter as well as sprinkle some encouragement.  At times, I can also reflect upon suffering or share some lesson spiritual lesson learned in some unexpected way.  So now and then, a short period of immersion into the well-spring of humanity is very good, indeed!  Always, I return to the hermitage with prayer concerns from interactions with mostly strangers.

When I head into civilization ever couple of weeks or longer, the body pays a painful price.  Rarely is the rest of the day or night fruitful with physical efforts.  It is enough to unload the supplies purchased.  Then down on the mattress, and most often I turn to this little window to the world of cyberspace.  Therein I gain more prayer needs from review of news videoclips and headlines, or from an email or two with specific prayer concerns mentioned.

And recently, perhaps ever since I moved to this desert of exile of which circumstances too rough to have my harp uncased, I have gravitated to listening to music on YouTube.  Years ago when studying toward a doctorate in Clinical Psychology, the movement was in full force: the healing qualities of music.  I suppose there is great truth in this (and also gardening is quite healing--soil and plants!).

The fact of the matter, deeper in, is that love is healing.  It is the love within the creativity and expression of musicians with music and the love within the creation of trees and flowers, of food crops and even grass--that has such a healing aspect.  Love heals; God heals.  God Is Love!

This morning I awoke with tough pain.  At one point, the pain became severe, pulsating through the liver area of my right back.  I wondered if I'd be able to ride through the effects or if the episode would flare into the horrific pain episode a few weekends ago, culminating in the EMS trip to ER.  Thankfully, this morning's pain dissipated some; I have been up, moving around,  and am consuming the large cup of Green Glory (fresh greens and fruits, blended for kick-start to the digestive system).

Hosea is the prophet currently in the daily Mass readings rota.  This morning's selection is excellent, but my mind returned to yesterday's.  It struck me then as now:  a boot kick to the seat of my hermit body, heart, mind and spirit!  Yes, I need this in the current juncture point of yet accepting that I am not soon to pass from this temporal realm due to cancer, that I must adapt to greater physical pain, that I am slowed from many manual labor tasks and thus hindered from finishing the hermitage or able to sell it and move on to the next place....

See here, the boot-kick portion of Hosea 10:

"Sow for yourselves justice,
reap the fruit of piety;
break up for yourselves a new field,
for it is time to seek the LORD,
till he come and rain down justice upon you."

Yes, I need this reminder.  I need it as a strong boot-kick, far more powerful than the two glasses of Green Glory with some B-12 and caffeine added.  (Oh, my, what I am blessed with in order to help in any supplemental way the bodily fatigue incumbent with intractable, chronic pain!)

Powerful more than ought else, is the Living Word of God.  More powerful than a double-edged sword, His Living Word eviscerates our thoughts, emotions, memories, interactions including all aspects of our souls within.

Break up for yourselves a new field!  Today I will do that literally and physically if the neighbor lad does remember to come for some work.  We will use a pitchfork and trenching spade to dig the area where a brick path will be laid--the narrow path that few will be on.  It leads from hermitage porch to the front drive, a little-used walkway connecting hermit to the world-at-large!

Reap the fruit of piety!  Well, there must be piety in order for there to be insemination and growth with resultant fruit. Piety: the quality of being religious or reverent; holiness, godliness, saintly.  Well, it does seem that desiring God and striving to think of God above all things, is at least a healthy seed planted, and from there we must keep love of God in Himself the raison d'etre--the cause and purpose of our existence.

Sow for yourselves justice.  This is not so easily attained, we might think.  Justice is that of establishing fairness based on truth and goodness.  But it is not that we are to experience justice in this life.  No, but we are to sow for ourselves, justice.  We are to plant the seeds of justice; we are to prepare a soil rich to promote and inspire justice to grow and thrive in our lives and hopefully in the lives of others.  We are to do the sowing and not expect it to come from others, although it is always a blessing when it does.  What we can control of justice, is the sowing of it in and of ourselves.  That is a gift we are given that we can then share with those around us.  Sowing justice glorifies God.

It is time to seek the LORD!  I need this boot-kick perhaps more than the other aspects, at this moment of the present order of matters.  I need to seek Him right now, and to then get up and break up a new field--field of thought, of feelings, of spirit, of understanding, of love.

The Living Word of God is always His Thoughts, coming from His Mind.  The more we plow up that field, the more our thoughts will be replaced by His.  Perhaps this is the boot-kick needed most, today, and the reassurance of His justice coming in the form of His Wisdom, raining down on and within us.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another while break up a new field within us--plowing and sowing His love in our daily lives!