Catholic Hermit: Already God Answers

 

It was not long before the Lord dealt with my non-sacramental confession regarding this nothing-much of a consecrated Catholic hermit!  After writing about my "escapism" in previous post, the occupational therapist came for a final instruction on showering using all the equipment and safe guards properly.

I was exhausted, but also today decided to definitely increase the pain meds by 2.5 milligrams.  It has made a positive difference in coping with this amount of pain, especially after the shower effort.  So the occupational therapist has come for the last time, and left after a brief conversation.  I mentioned the escapism I atypically was into, using the drama series as a means to not think, to get myself out of this body and place, even, to enter into the scene and place of the fiction-based-on-real-life productions.

She found nothing remiss in this, as she said it is good to do what is available in these circumstances, to get the rest needed and to focus on healing, not on figuring out how you will contend with a more physically limited life, plus the pain involved.  I mentioned that the problem I have with my adopted, lulling, passive activity is that I tend to be very religious (that's enough said), but somehow I'm not able to manage the pain enough to read something worthwhile and spiritually beneficial.

Her response was that she thinks I have an incredibly wonderful attitude considering what I am faced with, and the limited means I have of contending with it.  Well, what is she going to say?  In that compliment I was reminded all over again of how powerful can positive reinforcement be as an encouragement or even if it somehow shames someone who perceives is quite the opposite.

After resting, I read today's Scriptures for Mass.  It was nearly noon--quite late for me to read His Living Word.  But as soon as I read the first reading and the Psalm, I recognized the Lord was responding to my non-sacramental confession of how and why I consider myself a bad hermit, lethargic in spiritual effort, intake, and output.  

In these Scriptures, though I also recognized the increasingly predictable plot lines of the series' segments, the insight came that the Lord understands, knows, and also appreciated the praise and thanks I was giving Him as I read His Living Word.  The drama series was also a gift to me, of which I have benefitted in ways He and I now grasp.  

It was not a negative to be connected with the world through these productions.  God provided a temporal means of resting my mind and lulling me to sleep, off and on for quite awhile. I do need the release, the escape, that was so simple and easy to procure.  I did not have to focus or make effort even in remembering the plots; the music and voices and scenery and bits of humor, the creative cleverness--all are appreciated now as what in this phase I've been in, needed.  It worked.

But also, what was transpiring is the transition that God is providing, also, by bestowing graces.  I happened to also read this thought of St. Augustine:

"When you begin to abhor what you have done, it is then that your good works are beginning, since you are accusing yourself of your evil works.  Your good works is the confession of evil works.  You 'do the works' and 'come to the light.'"  (St. Augustine, Jn 12, 13)  

I'm not suggesting that watching procedural drama productions running the length of several seasons, live-streamed from Amazon Prime, are all that "evil."  But for a consecrated Catholic hermit, privately professed nearly 19 years, spending time (even with pain as a reason or excuse) watching such programs is still not better or best in the spiritual life.  It is not better or best in a daily and nightly horarium even if my hourly schedule is not set in structure even when not recovering from surgery.  My bodily pain has never cooperated with any set plan or structure for 35 years, and increasingly so as years have passed and pain increased.

But I knew when I read what St. Augustine wrote, that the Lord was also talking to me through this saint, now deceased centuries ago.  His soul lives; his writings speak today.  It all connected with my honest confession to God, to myself, and to you readers.  The graces flow; I started to read Vol 1 of St. Teresa of Avila's Letters but found that book more heavy in weight and light in the type of spiritual pith--if not too deep--that my body, mind, heart, and soul need right now.

So I used the grabber reacher tool to get the small volume, No 1, of St. Bernard of Clairvaux' Sermons on the Song of Songs.  With also taking the occupational therapist's adjuration to "listen to the body" and not over do, I hit the too-tired point of the day to read anything, but by God's grace I was not needing to distract by means of the drama series.  Morning will be here afresh, whether or not any of us are called to our eternal home during the night.  

But I'm citing some of the Living Word from today's Mass for you to read if you wish.  You will recognize what I found  to be God's message to me, His answer and counsel, His encouragement and understanding.  

The selection from 1 Thessalonians 2: 1-8 contains snippets of thought that come to fullness in just how gentle is God, especially when we do not deceive ourselves or others, when we do not seek praise (such as in presenting ourselves not as we are, in pretext).  We hermits ought not, as St. Paul says the Apostles ought not, impose our weight by virtue of being in the consecrated life of the Church, living a hermit vocation any more than the apostles did not try to impress by their being apostles of the Lord.

In the Psalm selection (Ps 139:1-3, 4-6) we are reminded of this reality:  God knows us better than we know ourselves; He probes and scrutinizes us.  Yet He still rests His hand upon us, for we belong to Him and are His children whom He loves.

Truly, God has answers for us before we can begin to fully formulate our questions enough to try to figure out with our minds, all that we are trying to figure out.  From Hebrews 4:12, the Alleluia before the Gospel reading, is another God-answer.

 

"The word of God is living and effective,

able to discern reflections and thoughts of the Heart."

From 1 Thessalonians:

You yourselves know, brothers and sisters,
that our reception among you was not without effect.
Rather, after we had suffered and been insolently treated,
as you know, in Philippi,
we drew courage through our God
to speak to you the Gospel of God with much struggle.
Our exhortation was not from delusion or impure motives,
nor did it work through deception.
But as we were judged worthy by God to be entrusted with the Gospel,
that is how we speak,
not as trying to please men,
but rather God, who judges our hearts.
Nor, indeed, did we ever appear with flattering speech, as you know,
or with a pretext for greed–God is witness–
nor did we seek praise from men,
either from you or from others,
although we were able to impose our weight as Apostles of Christ.
Rather, we were gentle among you,
as a nursing mother cares for her children.
With such affection for you, we were determined to share with you
not only the Gospel of God, but our very selves as well,
so dearly beloved had you become to us. ~ 1 Thes 2:

From Psalm 139:

O LORD, you have probed me and you know me;
you know when I sit and when I stand;
you understand my thoughts from afar.
My journeys and my rest you scrutinize,
with all my ways you are familiar.

Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O LORD, you know the whole of it.
Behind me and before, you hem me in
and rest your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
too lofty for me to attain.

Catholic Hermit Sets Sights on Sermon on the Mount

Since reading in The Catechism that the Sermon on the Mount is a living and perfect rendition of living the Gospel law, the divine law--the Law of Love--I am focusing my sights on it for the day.  And, I hope, my body, mind, heart and spirit continue on with the teachings of Jesus firmly implanted in my interior by the workings of the Holy Spirit!

I was going to try to get the pained body out to the vegetable garden area by 10 a.m., but we see how a disciplined horarium or hourly schedule for this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit is simply not so feasible in sensory or practical, human ways.  The bodily pain rules the temporal roost!  Yet the mind, heart and spirit can be open to whatever "schedule" of the spiritual the Holy Spirit wishes to lay out in every present moment.

Yes, my own choices do affect whether or not I acquiesce to the Holy Spirit's non-temporal-time "horarium."  God is timeless, and in Him there is no earthly time other than a season and time for everything under heaven.  That is, all that God wills for us in our earthly lives--and this is key for grasping why circumstances are not all that firmly rooted, or ought not be considered so.

I could choose to ignore the inner nudge to write out the Beatitudes, at this point in temporal time, but rather to force the pained body up and out sooner.  Yet, for this present moment, perhaps there is an open-willingness to the wisdom the Holy Spirit also tries to impart within us!  

Thus, I am going to delay the weeding (and hopefully planting some veggie seeds and starts) in order to at least read and write the Beatitudes this morning.  In this selection, the Gospel Rule of Life as the perfection of the divine law is exemplified in how Jesus taught to live out charity.

So here are the Beatitudes.  I think it is worth delaying my temporal work in order to have these teachings implanted in my brain and hopefully also heart and soul, for the earth-time I will then be out working the soil, plucking unwanted weeds, and maybe getting to the planting.

From Matthew 5:

Blessed are the poor in spirit, 
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they who mourn,
   for they will be comforted.

Blessed are the meek,
   for they will inherit the land.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
   for they will be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful,
   for they will be shown mercy.

Blessed are the clean of heart,
   for they will see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers,
   for they will be called children of God.

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake 
of righteousness,
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when they insult you and persecute you 
   and utter every kind of evil against you [falsely] 
   because of me.

Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven.
   Thus they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

Catholic Hermit: Shiftings

There has been tremendous shifting occurring in this post-resurrection time period, awaiting Ascension and Pentecost.  As a consecrated Catholic hermit, the vocation is shifting, the daily balance is shifting, the mission and purpose shifting to heightened focus and awareness.

It has been over a week since the last death throes of my own will.  I yet am to write about the death of one's will; but in the meantime, the shiftings in the here and now have produced a different configuration of the waking hours.

This morning came another message from a spiritual son who has an amazing spiritual awakening occurring, requiring contact with me, this hermit who is a stranger to him other than in matters of the spiritual life and his soul.  The interaction extends in the present moment from dream interpretation which evidently is very helpful to him, praise God--to other aspects of his own shift occurring, from the secular world, from a temporal degree pursuit, to coming to a vocation as a monk.

So there is response asked for, by him, and more email discussion. It takes earth time to message insights from within, from the will now God's and God's will informing the intellect.  And I admit, there is adaptation and adjustment necessary--even to the time it takes this hermit in human slowness of fingers on the laptop keyboard, trying to keep up with the thoughts presented that may be of some assistance to this spiritual son.

Then there was a phone call.  It is the biological daughter, and so the hermit must shift into mode not so spiritual in orientation but God's will of assisting at the more temporal level, emotional level, and all the same of critical need and importance for the daughter who needs to discuss situations with her young son--all aspects of letting him learn in life by increments, requiring of her letting go by increments yet also dealing with her own feelings and frustrations.

It was an hour of listening, or more--and of inserting little encouragements as helpful, and reading her situation and emotions with God's will and His informing the intellect with wisdom, in what not to ask or comment upon.  Mercy, yes!  This is quite a bit of shifting from how my own will informed my intellect, only ten days ago.  

It still seems strange and even eerie in some ways, yet also filled with humor and joy to realize how much easier life is when the will is no longer mine and the insights are informed by God's will into the intellect--not my intellect calling shots often enough off-mark or laden with wounding and wounded emotion, memory, understanding or even the senses.

So there are many shiftings of the soul with the death of my will and the filling in of God's will and all that affects in one's soul, thus emanating out and into the temporal realm.  The other day came an email from a spiritual daughter who had not been in contact for over a decade.  Good news!  Part of the prayer request has been answered bountifully.  Praise His Real Presence for immense favor granted!  His goodness has bolstered a young couple.  Now to keep praying for them to conceive a child!  That is always a most delightful prayer favor to ask and anticipate.

Yesterday a phone call from another spiritual daughter, this one a known soul for some time, and she had a quiver-ful of arrows in her spiritual life to discuss--each with temporal targets necessary in her daily experience as wife, mother, and striving soul.

In the past ten days or less, my daily schedule here in the hermitage in my mortal body, has shifted, as well.  The mornings are spent with responding to the spiritual children's emails, and then the lesser-occurring phone calls that can take an hour depending upon the needs of each caller.  Even the biologically connected (including a biological sister but also an email from a spiritual sister who has been carrying quite a burden, finally shared with much compassion and many prayers needed) are spiritual "clients" so to speak.

Then, the bodily pain has been its usual challenge to manage, and so the mornings are spent with prayer, praising, listening, responding to whatever His will stirs into the temporal mix.  The mid-afternoons bring enough energy over the bodily pain to head outside to continue the tasks of weeding and seed-planting, praying and listening, and often reflecting upon the daily Scriptures as well as whatever and whoever the Lord's will brings to the inner vision.

While the old memories of how my will and intellect reacted to situations, including bodily pain, can be recalled, there is not the emotion as I remember of the reactions to situations.  Now, that is a blessing but yet it feels joyously odd.  Different.  How blessed is it to have one's will die and be replaced with His will!  No matter how painful the dying process, the rebirth is worth it.  There is such freedom and rightness to it, and there is not the drag of how it had been before.

I want to share a portion of a message to the spiritual son that perhaps will make sense as a metaphor or image of how we are to allow God to drive our vehicle in the journey of life, the spiritual journey, of letting Him take us from one point to the next.  I will locate it and post.  And then the Lord will will this body out for a shorter bit of manual labor, as the Lord is monitoring more the balance of efforts spent commensurate with the amount of pain tolerated temporally.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love God above all things and one another as ourselves and as He loves us!

Catholic Hermit: Thoughts on Daily Life of a Hermit

Another inquiry comes regarding the daily life of a hermit.

This consecrated Catholic hermit--a nothing in God's All--has recently thought what a lousy hermit it is, indeed.  Rarely do this, but noticed a couple of hermits out there, in cyberspace.  One a man and perhaps another a man or maybe a female hermit, consecrated in the life of the Church as eremites.

They each wrote of their daily lives, of their schedules, their horarium.  They listed the times they prayed, and one wrote that he prays "3.5 hours a day"--or was it 4.5 hours?  (Do not recall exactly, but the particular of the .5 stuck in the thoughts.) The other mentioned getting up at night at a certain time to do a prayer vigil.  The length of time was not given.

So this hermit began thinking about the brief time period, over 14 years ago, in which it had a daily schedule worked out in hours.  This hermit has attempted mores structure off and on since then, but mostly off.  Especially since landing in exile in this hermitage called Te Deum, an hourly schedule has not ever come up as even a remote practicality.  The hermit has not ever, that it can recall, figured out or remembered how many hours a day it prays.

All it does know, with certainty, that it is not enough praying and could never be enough. For the praying can be of one sort or the other, or of many sorts.  And the sort of praying has evolved over the years.  Yes, at first this hermit wanted to do all "by the book"--until it found all the books about hermit life and by hermits, and of their lives, and that in the schedules of orders that house some religious also consecrated as eremites, all vary even if they have some commonalities, in generalized ways of going about what one might term "the daily life of a Catholic hermit."

Here at Te Deum Hermitage (even the name is only used now and then in this blog, and it is used with some humor because this is more a stable like the one Anne Catherine Emmerich grew up in and not much of a house, at least not finished off), there really is no room for an hourly schedule or horarium.  No room in this inn for that.  As for praying, who knows if the hermit is really praying or is praying with effectiveness or in any way approaching what God might consider good or excellent communication with Him.

There is no way to figure out the minutes or hours, even if the praying is good praying, even if it is not good praying, or praying at all by whatever standards or tests as to what is prayer and what is not.

The days and nights in this hermit's daily and nightly life, are always tumbling out or flowing out, depending upon the circumstances of what is happening in each moment.  And there is no way to tell what is going to flow or tumble, or what will be the circumstances.

Point in fact, consider last Friday when around 2 or 3 in the afternoon, the hermit was lost in thought. (Is that prayer as the hermit loves God and thus are all thoughts conversations with Him, lost in Him in thought?)  It was also busy digging and finding stones too large to be useful to the soil and very useful for some unfolding project with stones, even if to mark the ends of rows dug and soil crumbled and seeds planted.  

Then it was weeding or some such effort, not sure what, and evidently mostly using the right arm, as it turns, out but was not conscious of that when lost in whatever is this interior hum of soundless, wordless and mostly imageless communication while working.  Then it was digging and also scooping soil around and making mounded walls around wells around small fruit shrubs, so that water will better hold and water the roots in the heat and dry.

At some point in that time frame of that afternoon, for example, pain overwhelmed the hermit.  It was as if the hermit was so lost to the temporal effects and the bodily signals, that it was stricken suddenly and had to make it into Te Deum, and get on the mattress on the floor.  That was that.  

And then the severe suffering took over and who knows what conversations with God, although there were many, probably, yet not so conscious nor timed.  And there was distraction needed for the mind in order to manage the severe pain, and the body had to breathe barely as to breathe normally was too exquisitely painful. So thus was one day in the daily life of a consecrated Catholic hermit.

The hermit ate when it was able to walk and get to the refrigerator--ate an apple or some cheese; ate some other stuff--healthy, simple, all.  Can't recall. Was the hermit thankful to God for the food?  Surely so!  Were their conscious prayers, verbal prayers?  Don't know.  Probably, or some kind of communicated gratitude within, for the hermit is silent verbally, other than a rare phone call.  And the hermit drives rarely--has been how long?  Ten or more days, is it, that Precious Blood (pick up truck) has been parked in back?

Night vigils. Well, can't really dignify them with such a title that others participate in, rising and dressing and walking to a chapel, or kneeling and making sure they pray an hour or two hours, with a clock or watch to make sure the offering being fulfilled.  It is a marvelous and admirable practice: night vigils. 

Just this morning in reading a homily of Pseudo-Macarius, he mentioned kneeling in prayer.  Does this hermit kneel in prayer?  No.  It is usually on its back with knees lifted by a pillow, or on its left side as it can no longer recline on right side due to two shoulder surgeries.  Physically, it could kneel, although not here as the floors are rough and unfinished, and kneeling puts added strain on the bad back after nearly 31 years since the life-altering injury. 

But this hermit does wake up in the night.  It wakes at whatever time God decides.  No bells, no alarm clock.  Never the same time; but it is always awakened by bodily pain.  Thus, Jesus on the Cross is waking the hermit, or also St. Michael, giving it a poke with its fiery spear; and it prays and praises God, but for how long--who knows?  

Usually then the hermit clicks on the laptop in the dark here by the mattress, and sees the time (mostly to note when medication is taken so as to not take more than allotted in a certain time frame for later when daylight).  It then reads the daily Mass Scriptures, and this can be anytime from 1 a.m. to 5:30 a.m., as the pain alarum pings the hermit hard enough to awaken at any and various times.  Nothing is ever struck by a clock here.

The hermit for awhile was praying the Divine Office--all the hours--but then sickness came of such a severe type this past winter, and then after that workers came and the hermit was needed to work with them.  And then the daily Mass Scriptures and reading some spiritual homilies as well as some works of another 5th century holy person, provided added Scriptures to read and ponder, as well as clear insights.  

(It is amazing how clear the insights came to those in the early centuries, when life could be simpler and not the technological distractions we have, nor the responsibilities of daily life in this century.  For example, consider the time it took the hermit to sort and organize and figure out bills and receipts and tax forms--in a dwelling that has no organized order?  The early hermits did not have these and other cultural and secular responsibilities, or when they did, they were easy enough to avoid or handle in a single action like Jesus saying to render the two coins unto Caesar...and all that is God's to God.)

Yesterday, this hermit is not sure what all it prayed or in what format other than it seems it is always now a very subtle, interior communicating.  There have been no set verbal prayers for a long time, that it can remember--probably not since it was praying the Divine Office for awhile, seven times a day--and that never at specific times.

It cannot!  This hermit cannot do or be certain things at certain times, or even consecutively, daily.  Each day is as it is and unfolds, in His Real Presence in whatever present moments, and with whatever He determines (as the hermit is learning, painfully so, over and over).  And that includes days in which the hermit has little rebellions and the mind is too tired to read some spiritual book or "think" much at all, or the body is not well enough to do manual labor and have its love of God and communication lifted into His Real Presence as if on the wings of a dove.

Then, when the hermit is too pained or weary to do or be what probably most would think a hermit ought to be in order to be a respectable, impressive, or holy hermit--this hermit has been known lately to watch some Youtube video of a some talented person and listen to music, or even watch a lulling British mystery, enjoying the gorgeous, green countrysides and dozing a bit to the soft and lilting British accents--and very much appreciating that justice is always meted out in the end. The wrongs are righted.  Judgment Day comes to all humanity.

So lately, especially after noticing how this hermit's good intentions of and initial or on-going attempts at more righteous and holy daily schedules always tend to disintegrate by some present moment reaching-in to change it, or that the interior touch of God and intimacy with Him extends on and on beyond time frames if there were any--it just seems all right, somehow, to trust that His Real Presence is carrying the hermit through the days and the nights.

This is the daily life of one consecrated Catholic hermit, anyway, for now.  And now, this hermit will stop what has been several hours of pondering Scriptures and writing about the insights in some correspondence, and has simmered some beets and eaten them with gratitude, and has rested a long time.  Time to head outside and try to stretch the body and do a few tasks without straining the already strained Rhomboid muscles.   And keep on with what has become mostly always very interior and deep communication, often with thought flashes and sometimes without thought at all--or most of the thought nothing one could pin down in words.

So all in all, considering what this hermit shares of its daily life, no wonder this hermit has thought since comparing itself with what seem very good and holy hermits, it is not really a good hermit nor a responsible hermit, nor one to emulate, for sure.  Other than if there is any aspect that seems all right, such as the praying and loving and going with God's flow.  (Honestly, none of us humans get the upper hand for long in going with our own flow, do we?)

Pray always, and seek and love God always, and be always available to His Real Presence and whatever He wills.  That is about how it sums up here.  Even the gently lowing tones of some distraction of scenery and people communicating their lives as fictional characters, is prayer, for the hermit's mind, heart, and soul are often not too much conscious of much else than of its Desired His Real Presence. It has all become very simple, and it can be up to others to judge, if they want, if this is what they deem a hermit's daily life ought to be or not.

Somehow it all seems very good, and sweet, and intimate with His Real Presence.  Although that could be some kind of deception, couldn't it?  Pseudo-Dionysius defines evil as simply the absence or lacking of some degree of good.  Surely in a hermit's daily life, there is always room for more and more good.  But this hermit has found that scheduling it does not necessarily assure it and usually not, for the present moments belong to His Real Presence, and we just never know that much in advance if at all, to what good we may be called in the present moments of our daily lives--hermits or not.


[Later, been out scattering slug killer and still very, very tired and sluggish with pain.  But was thinking how wonderful the freedom to just be--to be in the present moment even when it comes to sharing the variations in the daily life.  Watching news clips became distracting and unnecessary for a quick glance of headlines gives calamities enough, if the reminders are helpful.  But how odd that this hermit has viewed British mysteries after years of no interest in such, no fiction reading--yes, years and years, prior to being a hermit by a decade.  But some how, recently, when the pain is too intense, that genre and visual and bit of accent, is helpful with pain management, as is the music.  Odd, perhaps.  Not at all what this hermit would think a good way for a hermit to pass God's gift of time...other than have figured some of it is the justice in the end, the righting of wrongs, as well as the fictional aspect of distraction more distant than the actual "world" of tragedies and calamities and politics, for those often enough do not end in an hour nor ever, sometimes, in earth justice even though there will be Divine Justice.  Well, these were some thoughts while moving the body out there--plus the thought of praying for those who have been kind to this soul through out the years and also those now--so very many people are so very kind to this hermit!  Has this hermit been kind, in kind?]

Affirmation on Frequent Prayer

This morning Office of Readings in the Divine Office (Monday of Week One), contains an excerpt from a letter to Proba, by Augustine.  Personally, it seemed a good affirmation from His Real Presence upon this hermit's returning to praying the seven "hours" of the Divine Office, breaking off other tasks in the day and utilizing the time in the night when awakened due to pain.

While not advocating set, formulaic, verbal or mental prayers for the sake of daily routine or sense of accomplishing some imposed standard for the eremitic prayer life, for this hermit, praying the Divine Office in segments is a discipline that had lapsed, and that happened to be a good effort.  

This is not meant to replace the affective prayers--those prayers of loving affection offered to His Real Presence, spontaneously and from deep within the heart.  Nor is it a substitute for meditative and contemplative prayer, should contemplation be graced by God upon the soul.  However, the Divine Office may lead the soul into meditation, and also unfold into contemplation.  A hermit has all the time God has given to be in His Real Presence; temporal tasks ought be secondary.

What impresses this hermit today, is Augustine's suggestion of praying at set hours with the purpose of turning our thoughts away from the efforts in the temporal, daily tasks and thoughts, and turning them to our heart's desire, which is His Real Presence:  Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  

There are additional, fine considerations in what Augustine writes to Proba.  Further in the letter (not represented below) is the reminder that the Lord's prayer contains all that is necessary in praying, if prayed from the heart and with full attention, desire, and love.  

However, as to this Catholic hermit's return to praying the Divine Office (which includes the Lord's Prayer) at various times in day and night, there is the added impetus that one is uniting in the same praises and supplications with all those who pray the Divine Office, world-wide.  This is one way in which a consecrated religious solitary is deeply connected with others of the Body of Christ not only in the present moment but also those who prayed and will pray the Office, past and future. 

_______________

One might ask, as this hermit did:  Who is Proba?  From an internet site, Augnet.org, the following information helps explain.

"This is probably the letter of Augustine that is known the most.

"The letter Augustine wrote to Proba is called Letter 130. It was written in the year 412, by which time he had been a bishop for about seventeen years.

"Anicia Faltonia Proba was the widow of the wealthiest man in the Roman Empire.

"Three of her sons held the consulship. After Alaric led a Gothic army into Rome in 410 and pillaged the city, Proba, with a considerable retinue of widows and younger women, took refuge in Africa and established a community of religious women in Carthage.

"Among her group were her daughter Juliana and her grand-niece Demetrias. (Two years later in 414, Augustine wrote On the good of widowhood to Juliana.)

"Proba asked Augustine how she ought to pray, and in his response he advised her on the kind of person she ought to be, and what she ought to pray for.

"Author Peter Brown states that these ladies, affected by the teachings of Pelagius, elicited Augustine's most mature and sympathetic statements about his ideal for Christian life. Unlike Pelagius, Augustine could find room for a spectrum of human failings. In his own life and in that of others, he sought and encouraged blessedness, in spite of human failings.

"This Letter 130 by Augustine to Proba is a short instruction on Christian private prayer. The letter has two parts. Augustine first explains the interior condition desirable for praying (Chapters 1-3), and then (Chapters 4-13) explains the purpose of private prayer.

"The purpose of prayer is to attain a blessed life. He suggests that the use of words be kept brief and fervent, and be supported by a life of good works. The words are needed only to help us keep in mind what a person is requesting, and are not necessary to remind or persuade God regarding the request being made.

"Augustine proclaims that the Lord’s Prayer contains all the praise and petition that prayer requires. A person is free to express the same sentiments in other words if desired, but not to ask for anything that is either contrary to or beyond the scope of the Lord’s Prayer."

_____________

Now for a selection from Augustine's letter to Proba:

Let us turn our mind to the task of prayer at appointed hours

"Let us always desire the happy life from the Lord God and always pray for it. But for this very reason we turn our mind to the task of prayer at appointed hours, since that desire grows lukewarm, so to speak, from our involvement in other concerns and occupations. We remind ourselves through the words of prayer to focus our attention on the object of our desire; otherwise, the desire that began to grow lukewarm may grow chill altogether and may be totally extinguished unless it is repeatedly stirred into flame.

"Therefore, when the Apostle says: Let your petitions become known before God, this should not be taken in the sense that they are in fact becoming known to God who certainly knew them even before they were made, but that they are becoming known to us before God through submission and not before men through boasting.

"Since this is the case, it is not wrong or useless to pray even for a long time when there is the opportunity. I mean when it does not keep us from performing the other good and necessary actions we are obliged to do. But even in these actions, as I have said, we must always pray with that desire. 

"To pray for a longer time is not the same as to pray by multiplying words, as some people suppose. Lengthy talk is one thing, a prayerful disposition which lasts a long time is another. For it is even written in reference to the Lord himself that he spent the night in prayer and that he prayed at great length. Was he not giving us an example by this? In time, he prays when it is appropriate; and in eternity, he hears our prayers with the Father.

"The monks in Egypt are said to offer frequent prayers, but these are very short and hurled like swift javelins. Otherwise their watchful attention, a very necessary quality for anyone at prayer, could be dulled and could disappear through protracted delays. They also clearly demonstrate through this practice that a person must not quickly divert such attention if it lasts, just as one must not allow it to be blunted if it cannot last.

"Excessive talking should be kept out of prayer but that does not mean that one should not spend much time in prayer so long as fervent attitude continues to accompany his prayer. To talk at length in prayer is to perform a necessary action with an excess of words. To spend much time in prayer is to knock with a persistent and holy fervor at the door of the one whom we beseech. This task is generally accomplished more through sighs than words, more through weeping than speech. He places our tears in his sight, and our sighs are not hidden from him, for he has established all things through his Word and does not seek human words."

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God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, for God Is Love!  Remain in His Love! 

Return to Silence, The Divine Office, and Other Considerations

After being called out to civilization for a charitable visit and gathering a few provisions, have returned to the silence, solitude, and slowness of this beautiful life of stricter separation from the world in assiduous prayer and penance...and very much that of praising His Real Presence!  The physical body needs much rest and to recover, and to manage the physical pain, so wearing.

Fr. V. has emailed his guidance from across the globe and reminds that if am "unable to go [to Mass] there isn't much problem. Just have enough time of silence and meditation and then offer nice praises to God.  Today's readings call for deep reflection.  God through the prophet tells us that he could reveal himself anywhere and he choose anyone as his instrument."  He knows the circumstances and details of this nothing Catholic hermit's circumstances. 

It is best to have a priest spiritual adviser who knows one's health, physical and spiritual life, vocation, and past and current situation.  For a hermit, it also is best, and this from over 14 years experience of living the eremitic life (which may not seem that long but does offer fair perspective) to have as a spiritual guide an Order priest more familiar with spiritual and eremitic life, or a priest living an eremitic life who is formed more in contemplative religious vocations than what training and formation a diocesan cleric could reasonably have or offer.

Recently the young married woman and mother who discusses once a week via phone the book The Spiritual Combat (Scupoli), asked why it is a diocese priest would not have a better grasp of hermit life.  She thought it a lapse or flaw that ought be remedied, that the diocesan priests and bishops ought to have a better understanding, a historical understanding as well as specific.  

But this hermit thinks not.  How many hermits did the young woman know from her parish growing up and now the one she attends?  (The question was recently also asked of a life-long Catholic man in his late 50's, very involved in his large and active parish.)  Their answers were: "None."  

This nothing Catholic hermit recalled meeting with a parishioner a year ago, at the bequest of a Jesuit priest in a very social activist parish.  The parishioner is their designated spiritual director, and she admitted she did not know anything about the eremitic vocation nor did she know any hermits.

And, truly, why should they need to know?  For example, in a marvelous parish of over 2000 families, the priests had not dealt with a hermit prior.  We can see of what their time and energy ought be spent:  the full range of active adult parishioners, the ill, the many children, single lay adults--not on a hermit who may happen along, if ever.  They do not even need to know there is a hermit worshiping with them, if one does.  

And it is not necessary for them to know, nor to spend time reading books or researching lives of hermits throughout Church history.  This is what the hermit ought be doing for a better grasp of his own vocational understanding, plus in developing a strong life of prayer.  To learn from and model one's hermit vocation after the lives of the historical and canonized hermits of the Church whose existences evolved into spiritual successes of humility and later sanctity, is the best grounding and training for any hermit, publicly or privately professed.  


Of the various priests and bishops known to this nothing Catholic hermit, none of them have had experience with hermits nor anything beyond a cursory knowledge.  Only one knew of a hermit he recalled from seminary days years past--seminary of a Benedictine monastery.  The hermit he recalled was a priest who would come into the monastery once a week, if that often, for some supplies and brief contact with his superior.

And, of course, leaning not unto thine own understanding, but turning to His Real Presence as one's source and Source of beauty, truth and goodness, is key.  Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life.  Following in His footsteps, in any vocation, is the way through this earthly existence to our heavenly reward.

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From the week-ago conversation with the hermit priest in the small monastery up the road, this nothing Catholic hermit gained a necessary reminder to tighten the spiritual focus of its vocation.  Am praying the Divine Office in all its hours, and doing so with attempted slowness and stillness.  Yes, the mind wants to scatter, but one must bring it back into silence, solitude and slowness.

It is amazing what other hermits might share either in life or from their extant writings, that helps one in his own eremitic daily life of loving service through prayer, praise and penance.  Even something that reminds one not to do, is a benefit.  

Am recalling two priests (not hermits) who led a pilgrimage, and their reading aloud together their morning and evening offices, in front of the group of pilgrims when waiting in shrine lines or on the bus.  They read it so quickly, that words were indistinguishable.  It became more a public routine which could inspire those with them, but more became a point of humor in a way due to the rushed performance. That is an ever-reminder to this hermit to pray the Office, not race it.

When this hermit asked the hermit priest last week about their daily horarium, what stood out was their praying the Jesus prayer as they worked, and that they doubled up on two of the "hours", twice--that is, praying aloud two, one after another.  The other "hours" were prayed privately.  

Since this nothing Catholic hermit had asked about their horarium (daily physical and spiritual schedule) due to its own recognized lapsing, the thought arose that when only two hermit priests and one hermit monk living in very close quarters felt a need to double up praying the Divine Office hours, there really should be no need to double them.  Why not simply stop whatever other work or possible distractions, and pray them individually, not doubling up?  The spaced praying is part of the effort in training the body, mind, heart and soul to turn to God throughout day and night.

Time spent in a Cistercian monastery and having done much reading on the Carthusians, reminded that over 40 men (in the Cistercian monastery) stopped their tasks and also rose in the night, to pray each Office with reverent deliberation.  All these thoughts have brought this Catholic hermit, the solitary of Te Deum House, to return to praying the Offices.  

There is simply no excuse for this nothing Catholic hermit to not pray all of them and cease whatever other activity, in order to give first place to praise and prayer of and in His Real Presence.  

(This is to not suggest it is easy, though.  This hermit has experience with various temptations and weaknesses against doing what otherwise is a small offering  of the few minutes out of all the time God gifts, to pray each "Hour" of the Divine Office!)  

So, to begin once again, to bring this hermit's will into loving discipline and in union with the many hermits whether together in monasteries or living in solitude around the world, who pray the Divine Office in its beneficial fullness.

It is a small thing, truly.  But in the life of a hermit, it is a primary call to immerse oneself in the Living Word of His Real Presence, and to enter into love of God in Himself, and in Him, to be praying for all the people in the whole world, in the universe.  Pray for those souls on this side of the veil and those souls on the other, for all souls are the community to which the hermit belongs, for whom the hermit prays, loves, and does so through, with, and in His Real Presence:  Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little Children, let us love one another, as He loves us!

One of Those Odd Things

Finally took a small tin of St. Bernard Love of God Bourbon Balls to the monks nearby in thanks for bringing me aspirin one morning when needed it in order to go a distance to get stronger meds in civilization.  Bad spinal headache, but not as bad as this past week, that is for sure!

The abbot had one of the priests give tour of their grounds.  We talked of our shared experience with losing thousands of dollars to contractors.  He said he felt so terrible because he thought he had been so careful and researched and trusted, then lost their money.  Well, that was a shared experience down to the details.

The abbot offered again invitation to their Sunday morning service, with a "come as you are" statement, no doubt observing the paint stained jeans and old shirt.  Some day that will change if live long enough and get the place fixed enough to have a closet.

The priest who showed the grounds also conversed.  We spoke of the hermit vocation, and he shared of their times in the day of prayer, the Hours, as is called.  They do not do them rigidly always at set times, other than early morning and evening are more feasible to have set times.  And, they double a couple of the "hours" due to other work and efforts needing their attention, being two priests and a monk.  There are three cells with another building with a room for a novice.  One was there, but had not found his vocation to be a monk or priest.

Then mentioned the issue of coming to grips with this nothing Catholic hermit's vocation seeming to now be moving in a far more austere manner, and accepting this.  Mentioned the parish life conundrum, as well as the disconnect with parish priests, as well as their seeming fear or concerns with the mystical state during Mass.

None of this phased Fr. P. of the monastery.  He said emphatically that God is just showing that hermits are not intended for parishes, and parishes are not the place for hermits.  He added that parish priests and most diocesan personnel also do not have much background in the eremitic life, not as it truly has been lived historically, other than a notion here or there that may or may not have accuracy-- but not the deeper grasp of the hermit vocation.

Thus, it is best for hermits to have some sharing at times with other hermits who are like-minded, and living our vocations with God guiding and not struggling with those who do not have this vocation, and thus also do not have experience to be giving advice or counsel.

In under an hour of viewing the grounds which took little time but noticed many books we share on our shelves, and found tremendous peace in their chapel, the conversation resulted in peace and calm.  The Lord is kind and merciful.  He had to reach in yet again and affirm His will be done, by yet another, and this time hermit priests who have been living the life for decades, to assure that now it is time to fully embrace this hermit vocation and do not enter in again to the parish realm.

There is a place to possibly worship, now, on Sundays, and on occasion may join them for Vespers if call in advance.  By evening, this Catholic hermit is usually very worn out and in bed with dusk.  And in the desert, dusk arrives earlier and earlier as we enter into the weeks toward the end of this liturgical year.

The hermit priest did say that on Sunday mornings, anywhere from five to 15 come for service, but usually the fewer number.  After services, they have a shared meal in their community room.  They observe Communion fast from midnight on, as will this Catholic hermit.  Used to do that, anyway.  A good meal once a week has its blessed appeal.  But if am in pain and cannot get up in time for their early morning service, that is fully understood.

Yes, Fr. P. (a priest in his later years) said it is time now for this one, solitary hermit, to fully accept the evolving hermit vocation into its austerity and silence and solitude.  He laughed when we discussed how this hermit has more quiet than do they, for they get calls from people wanting to visit their monastery and are known more publicly, even if a very small monastery.  Am encouraged.  Was not expecting such encouragement and PEACE.

It's an odd thing.  This morning, early, was coming, within the deeper self, to the words that one must be true to His Real Presence deep inside--trusting, trusting--no matter what others may think or how they criticize.  Sometimes there is no explaining to others, possible; and one has simply to trust in God and not doubt what He is ordaining through circumstances.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, for love is of God!

Feast of Saint Bruno, Carthusian

Today, Oct. 6, is the 913th anniversary of St. Bruno's death in a charter house he founded in Italy.  The first charter house he and six companions from Cologne, Germany, founded remains today near Grenoble, France, high in the Alps in an area called Le Grand Chartreuse.

The Carthusian hermit lifestyle is one of which this Catholic hermit has found intimately appealing ever since receiving the call to eremitic life, over 14 years ago.  While not possible to purely imitate their daily horarium and temporal living circumstances, it is possible for yet more adaptation of this hermit's vocation to the stricter separation from the world in greater praise and prayer and penance in silence and solitude.

There is not much holding back now.  As one Carthusian monk said, that to pray is to embrace not one or even ten people in the world, but an infinite number of people and souls.

St. Bruno, please pray for us!

God bless His Real Presence in us.  Little children, let us love one another.  If we do not have love for even one person, we do not possess true love. (This latter truth stated by Jesus to Catherine of Siena.)