Catholic Hermit: Love, Pain, and Death

Some writings of St. Augustine (354-403), Bishop of Hippo and Doctor of the Church, have caught my attention.  He writes in his Discourses on the Psalms about love and death.  I find myself substituting "pain" for love, as it is becoming helpful to me to consider suffering as love, and love as suffering.  

Recalling what St. Michael the Archangel pronounced to me back in summer of 2004 in a vision with locution, is also helpful.  "Love to suffer, and suffer to love!"  

We are told in the Living Word that God is love.  With love and suffering so intermingled in various essences, provided the suffering is not what we cause or bring on ourselves or to others, we can grasp the linkage of love and death, and of love and suffering and death, all the more through the love, suffering, and death of Jesus Our Lord and Beloved Savior.

Today as I continue dealing with the constancy of physical suffering, I finally made myself go for a walk.  Yes, I know I will have increased pain as a result; it is here already now that I've returned and am on icy pad on bed.  But I am blessed that the Lord answered my prayer for motivation and impetus to get up, as the pain has had the upper hand with me in a way that was not seeming as love, for  I was shunning the love of God that can be found in pain.  I was rebelling.

I realize this may seem strange, the concept of love and pain being intrinsic in ways too much for me to describe right now.  But it is as it is, and there is love in pain and pain in love--holy pain and holy love.  And there is God in love and God in pain--if we can remain calm in the midst of such suffering and embrace, not shun.  That is what I tried to do in the enforced walk outside--to make myself not shun the effort that means more pain, for the outcome will be the same.  There will still be pain.  

And I must also keep in mind and heart, that vision 24 years ago in which Mary melded above me with Jesus, and she said distinctly, "You will find Him in your pain."  

I suppose in a way, I found Him in my pain as I walked.  I passed the man putting out more Christmas lights, this time on a tree.  Two weeks ago he was up on a ladder putting them on his roofline.  We spoke as I walked by, and he asked how is the back.  My brace a couple weeks ago was a give-away; today I told him the walk is necessary, an enforced effort.  Then farther on, I passed the elderly man, Bud; we encouraged one another in our efforts.  Kind people, concerned, living their lives despite whatever pain they've experienced from childbirth on:  love the source of life, and God in our pain regardless if we recognize Him or find Him in our pain.

I pray and ask the Lord and Blessed Virgin Mary to help me remember to look, find, see Him in this intractable pain, no matter the level it reaches.  I ask St. Michael to remind me to love to suffer and suffer to love.  (I also will explore interchanging "pain" with "love" in pondering the mystery of Christ's love for us in His suffering and death.  His love and suffering for all of us saved us from our otherwise meaningless selves--without His Real Presence:  Father, Son and Holy Spriit.)

And  I pray to consider what I next will share from St. Augustine, on love and death, and that Scripture from the Song of Songs:  "Love is strong as death."

"'O Jerusalem, may your peace be in your strength' (Ps 122[121]:7)  That is to say, may your peace be in your love, for your love is your strength.  Hear the Song of Songs: 'Love is strong as death' (8:6)....  And indeed, love destroys what we have been so that we might become, through a sort of death, what we were not....This was the sort of death that was working in Him who said: 'The world is crucified to me and I to the world' (Gal 6:14).  It was of this death that the same apostle was speaking when he said:  'You have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God' (Col 3:3).  Yes, 'love is strong as death'.  If love is strong then it is powerful; it has great strength; it is strength itself....So may your peace be in your strength, O Jerusalem.  May your peace be in your love."

God bless His Real Presence in us!  

Stay with me, Lord!  Remaining always in this pain, in love, in suffering, in love strong as death.  Thus pain is not as it seems, as solely, sorely pain.


[Later:  I've been considering pain and love, intrinsically linked, and decided to write out the above for my own grasping this experiment, interchanging "pain" for "love" in the pertinent statements.  I think I need this exercise, frankly.  I need to learn to love this pain; it is the only way, it seems, that I can perdure. Perhaps I will continue this interchange, for awhile, in other Scriptures and spiritual reading, for the Lord knows how much I need His help these days, in which this level of pain [consider it love?], of suffering is most difficult for me.  For whatever reasons, various reasons, and those I don't realize:  God knows.

..."That is to say, may your peace be in your pain, for your pain is your strength.  Hear the Song of Songs: 'Pain is strong as death'....And indeed, pain destroys what we have been so that we might become, through a sort of death, what we were not....Yes, 'pain is strong as death.'  If pain is strong then it is powerful; it has great strength; it is strength itself....May your peace be in your pain."]

Catholic Hermit: Already God Answers

 

It was not long before the Lord dealt with my non-sacramental confession regarding this nothing-much of a consecrated Catholic hermit!  After writing about my "escapism" in previous post, the occupational therapist came for a final instruction on showering using all the equipment and safe guards properly.

I was exhausted, but also today decided to definitely increase the pain meds by 2.5 milligrams.  It has made a positive difference in coping with this amount of pain, especially after the shower effort.  So the occupational therapist has come for the last time, and left after a brief conversation.  I mentioned the escapism I atypically was into, using the drama series as a means to not think, to get myself out of this body and place, even, to enter into the scene and place of the fiction-based-on-real-life productions.

She found nothing remiss in this, as she said it is good to do what is available in these circumstances, to get the rest needed and to focus on healing, not on figuring out how you will contend with a more physically limited life, plus the pain involved.  I mentioned that the problem I have with my adopted, lulling, passive activity is that I tend to be very religious (that's enough said), but somehow I'm not able to manage the pain enough to read something worthwhile and spiritually beneficial.

Her response was that she thinks I have an incredibly wonderful attitude considering what I am faced with, and the limited means I have of contending with it.  Well, what is she going to say?  In that compliment I was reminded all over again of how powerful can positive reinforcement be as an encouragement or even if it somehow shames someone who perceives is quite the opposite.

After resting, I read today's Scriptures for Mass.  It was nearly noon--quite late for me to read His Living Word.  But as soon as I read the first reading and the Psalm, I recognized the Lord was responding to my non-sacramental confession of how and why I consider myself a bad hermit, lethargic in spiritual effort, intake, and output.  

In these Scriptures, though I also recognized the increasingly predictable plot lines of the series' segments, the insight came that the Lord understands, knows, and also appreciated the praise and thanks I was giving Him as I read His Living Word.  The drama series was also a gift to me, of which I have benefitted in ways He and I now grasp.  

It was not a negative to be connected with the world through these productions.  God provided a temporal means of resting my mind and lulling me to sleep, off and on for quite awhile. I do need the release, the escape, that was so simple and easy to procure.  I did not have to focus or make effort even in remembering the plots; the music and voices and scenery and bits of humor, the creative cleverness--all are appreciated now as what in this phase I've been in, needed.  It worked.

But also, what was transpiring is the transition that God is providing, also, by bestowing graces.  I happened to also read this thought of St. Augustine:

"When you begin to abhor what you have done, it is then that your good works are beginning, since you are accusing yourself of your evil works.  Your good works is the confession of evil works.  You 'do the works' and 'come to the light.'"  (St. Augustine, Jn 12, 13)  

I'm not suggesting that watching procedural drama productions running the length of several seasons, live-streamed from Amazon Prime, are all that "evil."  But for a consecrated Catholic hermit, privately professed nearly 19 years, spending time (even with pain as a reason or excuse) watching such programs is still not better or best in the spiritual life.  It is not better or best in a daily and nightly horarium even if my hourly schedule is not set in structure even when not recovering from surgery.  My bodily pain has never cooperated with any set plan or structure for 35 years, and increasingly so as years have passed and pain increased.

But I knew when I read what St. Augustine wrote, that the Lord was also talking to me through this saint, now deceased centuries ago.  His soul lives; his writings speak today.  It all connected with my honest confession to God, to myself, and to you readers.  The graces flow; I started to read Vol 1 of St. Teresa of Avila's Letters but found that book more heavy in weight and light in the type of spiritual pith--if not too deep--that my body, mind, heart, and soul need right now.

So I used the grabber reacher tool to get the small volume, No 1, of St. Bernard of Clairvaux' Sermons on the Song of Songs.  With also taking the occupational therapist's adjuration to "listen to the body" and not over do, I hit the too-tired point of the day to read anything, but by God's grace I was not needing to distract by means of the drama series.  Morning will be here afresh, whether or not any of us are called to our eternal home during the night.  

But I'm citing some of the Living Word from today's Mass for you to read if you wish.  You will recognize what I found  to be God's message to me, His answer and counsel, His encouragement and understanding.  

The selection from 1 Thessalonians 2: 1-8 contains snippets of thought that come to fullness in just how gentle is God, especially when we do not deceive ourselves or others, when we do not seek praise (such as in presenting ourselves not as we are, in pretext).  We hermits ought not, as St. Paul says the Apostles ought not, impose our weight by virtue of being in the consecrated life of the Church, living a hermit vocation any more than the apostles did not try to impress by their being apostles of the Lord.

In the Psalm selection (Ps 139:1-3, 4-6) we are reminded of this reality:  God knows us better than we know ourselves; He probes and scrutinizes us.  Yet He still rests His hand upon us, for we belong to Him and are His children whom He loves.

Truly, God has answers for us before we can begin to fully formulate our questions enough to try to figure out with our minds, all that we are trying to figure out.  From Hebrews 4:12, the Alleluia before the Gospel reading, is another God-answer.

 

"The word of God is living and effective,

able to discern reflections and thoughts of the Heart."

From 1 Thessalonians:

You yourselves know, brothers and sisters,
that our reception among you was not without effect.
Rather, after we had suffered and been insolently treated,
as you know, in Philippi,
we drew courage through our God
to speak to you the Gospel of God with much struggle.
Our exhortation was not from delusion or impure motives,
nor did it work through deception.
But as we were judged worthy by God to be entrusted with the Gospel,
that is how we speak,
not as trying to please men,
but rather God, who judges our hearts.
Nor, indeed, did we ever appear with flattering speech, as you know,
or with a pretext for greed–God is witness–
nor did we seek praise from men,
either from you or from others,
although we were able to impose our weight as Apostles of Christ.
Rather, we were gentle among you,
as a nursing mother cares for her children.
With such affection for you, we were determined to share with you
not only the Gospel of God, but our very selves as well,
so dearly beloved had you become to us. ~ 1 Thes 2:

From Psalm 139:

O LORD, you have probed me and you know me;
you know when I sit and when I stand;
you understand my thoughts from afar.
My journeys and my rest you scrutinize,
with all my ways you are familiar.

Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O LORD, you know the whole of it.
Behind me and before, you hem me in
and rest your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
too lofty for me to attain.

Catholic Hermit: Not Despise Humility of Christ

We are here, now--Holy Saturday has arrived!  Praise God for getting us moment-by-moment through this Lent!  I've thanked His Real Presence for a blessed Lent--not as arduous, it seems, as past Lents, but it could be that all God's blessings and graces have helped me handle the trials better than what I've done in past.  Regardless, I am so grateful to God!

A friend emailed yesterday this commentary by St. Augustine.  I've been returning to it off and on during pain rest breaks.  I love the final line:  They did not despise the humility of Christ.

I also love and can relate with the realities of world as an ocean, metaphor.  And that anyone can cross this temporal world's ocean by holding onto the wood of Christ's cross--yes, we can--even if in pain, or blind, or deaf, or not all that religious or if at all religious.  Christ's cross is for all of us sinners, for we all are in various ways.

Reminds me of one time when I was struggling mightily, when much younger, and was not yet with the strength to pull away from a situation in which I knew I was sinning but was ensnared.  I'd beg for strength from the Lord and would hate my weakness, yet He let me suffer in weakness until the day He gave me strength to free myself.

(Well, indeed, it was actually the Lord who freed me, as it was His strength He gave to me, when He willed to give it and not before.  I learned invaluable life-long lesson in recognizing not to despise humility, for that is Christ's gift, as well.)

Anyway, one morning when I was acknowledging the sin yet again and begging for strength to extricate myself, I asked Jesus within my mind, in thought flashing while at Mass:  Lord, how can you love me?  He immediately replied, also in thought-flashing:  Because you are so pathetic.

Now, to share the commentary written by St. Augustine, Bishop of Hippo and Doctor of the Church (354-430 AD).  I hope and pray you find strength and meaning in the reading of it, pondering how great is the cross of Christ, as we await His Easter morning Resurrection from the tomb!

When the centurion who stood facing him saw how he breathed his last, he said, "Truly, this man is the Son of God!" (Mk 15:39)  "In the beginning was the Word, the Utterance of God" (cf. Jn 1:1).  He is one and the same with him; what he is he is always, he is without change he is being.  This is the name he made known to his servant Moses:  "I am who I am" and "you will say: I AM sent me to you" (Ex 3:14)...

Who could understand this?  Who could reach him--supposing he were to direct all the powers of his soul as best he may to reaching him who is?  I will compare him to an exile who sees his homeland from afar; the sea is separating him from it; he knows where he has to go but has no means of getting there.  In the same way we want to reach that final haven which will be our own, where is the One who is, for he alone is always the same.  But the ocean of this world blocks the way...

He who calls us came here below to give us the means of getting there.  He chose the wood that would enable us to cross the sea; indeed no one could cross the ocean of this world who is not borne by the cross of Christ.  Even the blind can cling to this cross. If you can't see where you are going very well, don't let go of it, it will guide you be itself.  

So then, brethren, this is what I should like to impress on your hearts:  if you want to live in a spirit of devotion, a Christian spirit, cling to Christ just as he became for us so as to rejoin him as he is now and as he has always been.  This is why he came down to us, for he became man that he might take up the weak, enabling them to cross the sea and disembark into the homeland where a ship is no longer needed because there is no more ocean to cross.  

In all events, it would be better for one's soul not to see him who is and to embrace Christ's cross than to see him spiritually but despise the cross.  So, for our own happiness, may we see where we are going and cling to the whip that is taking us there...!  Some have succeeded and have seen what he is.  

It was because he had seen him that John said:  "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."  They saw him, and to attain to what they saw from afar, they clung to the cross of Christ. They did not despise the humility of Christ.  

~ Sermons on St. John's Gospel, No. 2


What does pride keep us from in life--both temporal and spiritual?  Can we aspire to imitating Christ if laden with pride that we most often do not even detect in ourselves?  Are we in a mode of body, mind, heart, and spirit in which we recognize how pathetic we are, how needful to a point of clinging to the cross of Christ?

In that physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual "action" of clinging to His cross, we will not despise Christ's humility.  We will embrace it with humble gratitude and praise.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love God above all things (especially self-love), and let us love others as God loves!

Catholic Hermit: Motivating Point Jesus Makes

Luke 6:45 or thereabout:

"A good person out of the store of goodness in his heart produces good,
but an evil person out of a store of evil produces evil;
for from the fullness of the heart the mouth speaks."

"Angel" came with the Eucharist:  His Real Presence!  Ever a blessing is receiving Our Lord in Holy Communion.  I so appreciate this woman's desire and delight in serving Christ and His Body in this way.  We had an introductory visit, and I think it all went well.  

I do realize with the meeting with the associate pastor, that my self-consciousness was stirred.  I prayed and tried my best to not be "THIS!"--seeming like a spiritual leper to her.  She arrived while I was in the midst of unpacking the marvelous collection of spiritual books--of mystics, saints, spiritual direction, Scripture, hermits, and various Catholic writers of particular gift in passing on what they learned and lived during their lives.

These books have been boxed for about six years--actually, yes--as Nick was my helper in those days at Agnus Dei, and his printing on each box reminds me of him.  I feel blessed, thinking of the reality of this good young man's DNA on each book and box, as he packed many boxes and grasped keeping them in order according to which book case.  Makes it easier to unpack and put on shelves--using the built-ins here for as much as they will hold.  Repair and finish work awaits in the garage with the shelves I've had to move distances.  I suppose like all of us with moves and phases in life, we accumulate wear and tear.

The strength and love of Christ tangibly in me, brought through the generous love of "Angel"--what a transcendent joy!  The bodily pain seems tolerable.  She shared some of her life, and a prayer need for her husband.  I'm on it!  Thankful to be made aware of the serious health trial he faces daily.

While unpacking, I found a special bookmark that a daughter had created when she was ten years old.  Her school picture is pasted to the marker, and she wrote such loving words to me, her parent.  God is so good!  Always it is best to see a reality of the love that flowed, and to appreciate that the relationships shift and grow and alter over the years when children become adults and marry (or not) and have careers, have families of their own (or not) but extended families through spouses. 

There is still love.  Love shifts and grows and alters in its externals, but love is always love.  Sometimes the love is tested, and at times it remains in the test-lab of life for a long time.  But there is always that relationship in love that perdures.  

"Angel" told me of a parish course she took; topic of spiritual direction.  The attendees read St. Augustine's Confessions over the eight weeks they met.  The instructor, a parishioner, I'm sure taught them much.  I might ask more, but regardless, it sounds outstanding!  I'm quite impressed with this parish from the outset.  Her mentioning the course piqued my interest and desire.  Oh, how I wish I'd been able to take that course--so went my thoughts!

But no.  That is not my life, not my vocational unfolding, not my place to be or do.  Yet how easily I had the thoughts, and how readily, then, after Angel left, my own guardian angel, through the Holy Spirit, flash-thought the reality to me not only of my hermit life and my mystic being, but also of my back pain.  Oh, yes.  I laughed, then asked myself:  Just how many times must God remind me that He does not want me being drawn out into the world, and that includes a parish world? 

A quick glance at the next box of books to unpack, and my angel pointed out in a flash-thought that I can learn as much or more by settling into reading these books.  Be taught intimately by St. Augustine and hundreds of other mystics, saints, holy spiritual directors, theologians, and Scripture!  And, no one else can read them for me.  This is the opportunity set before me, with time on earth ticking.  

My friends--my types, the other spiritual lepers--are on the shelves, waiting to converse and teach me what they learned and lived!  They will help me endure the increased pain that comes to an already injured spine but more so as it ages.  What more could I ask for from God?  I'm blessed to have used some of my inheritance money over a decade ago to collect a rare and fine library of choice spiritual tomes!

Taking a back rest break for some salad, and then will read some regarding Bl. Angela de Foligno's mystical journey.  Hope to have good things to share.  Pray to have words come from the fullness of my heart, to whomever happens upon my blog site and wants to read what has too often been words tainted by the trials in the world, from emotion or intellect, not the heart so much, not Christ's Heart.

This is a good day, a turning point day for me, a nothing consecrated Catholic hermit settling into Solus Deus Hermitage.

Catholic Hermit: Being Reminded of Holy Focus

St. Augustine, centuries ago, experienced quite the re-conversion and returned to Jesus Christ for salvation.  From that point onward in his life. Augustine kept his Holy Focus.

In an alternate Gospel reading for today's Mass, Matthew 22:23 seems clearly what I am to ponder in keeping a Holy Focus.

Jesus told His disciples after a series of woeful warnings to the scribes and Pharisees' hypocrisy and focus on externals even in religious laws and practices:

"...one who swears by heaven swears by the throne of God
and by Him who is seated on it."

The past couple of days this pained, consecrated Catholic hermit is transitioning from the mind attending to details in fine-tuning the hermitage, readying it for whoever is next to dwell here--to a major lessening of attention to requisite finishing work and into vast swaths of contemplative pondering.  And, with this freedom has come from the Holy Spirit several dire prayer intentions emailed, messaged, and phone-called, asking me to pray and in some cases also counsel those in great need.  

The Lord is with us, always, and we are through, with, and in Him!  Remain in His Love--Jesus asks this of us!  It is simple enough to comply; we give ourselves to Christ in thought, word, and deed by simply accepting His love and offering ours--which is actually His love in us--back to Him.

In that love for Christ and remaining in His Love, and His Love for us, it seems inconceivable that we could have other than love for our fellow humans, creatures, and all of God's creation.  However, we lose our Holy Focus rather easily, it seems.  

As in Jesus' time on earth, it can be lost through a type of obsession with power, prestige, position as well as with the laws of the times--and it did not take long for the laws developed in the early Church to increase over the centuries and to divert Holy Focus in some instances, or to become a distraction, hamstringing some to swear more by that which is not the throne of God and He Who Is seated on it.

I know how easy it can be to drift into lesser than Holy Focus.  We all are probably aware of having slipped into less than that which is love, light, and all things holy and which is of above.

This morning I received a call and am praying for a man, husband, and father to let go of resentments or whatever has gotten to him, so that he does not have a hatred for the family dog.  The dislike has grown over a couple of years, and the man keeps at it--wanting to get rid of the pet.  Granted, the little dog is not a highly intelligent breed and has a stubborn streak (does not obey commands impeccably), but he is a sweet little dog, easy to be around people, enjoys snoozing, and rather simple in needs and desires.

The caller and I discussed possible reasons for the man to have developed and maintained increasingly this dislike for the dog, and it will likely end with their giving the dog away--which is a sad end in some ways, although there will be any number of persons wanting this dog.  

But what is most sad about the situation besides the dog needing to adapt to new people and place, is that the man will not have learned to overcome his resentment and unnecessary dislike, nor will he be stopped in what is rather an obsession that has more taken over his mind and core than will ever be a problem for the little dog.

Where is the Holy Focus?  It is so far buried as to have nearly been forgotten by me, a Catholic hermit writing about it as an example of how easy it is for us to lose Holy Focus in our daily lives.  Perhaps it is a matter, also, of how easy an obsession and dislike can be planted like a tiny bacteria within and then grow into a massive infection that takes all thought, heart, and spirit to deal with that of rather external disease and dis-ease. both.

And to this point, dear readers, yes, people have brought it to my attention that there is yet someone out there who has continued now for ten years to seemingly be smitten and obsessed with detraction from any angle imaginable.  I am aware of it, I forgive the person, I do not resent in the least, but rather have compassion and commit to pathos and prayer.  

Some of you have thought the person "crazy", others say "shameful", "envious", and "sick".  I think not of any analysis, for does not trying to ascribe a label or reason to someone else's issues, just a means of the evil one to distract us from our Holy Focus in our daily lives and in the heart of our very souls?

Just as with the man who has developed an obsession and dislike of the little pet dog (of whom I consider to be one of the sweetest dogs and have often referred to him as "Lambie-pie" for his little face and muzzle have the appearance of a lamb's head), the only recourse is to have compassion for someone who allows a fellow creature to make him imprisoned by dislike and to be annoyed with any even remotely factual aspect.  For it then leads to deceive self, justify self to attack and demean the object of personal issue.

Detraction and dislike held onto for any period of time simply is not holy in any manner; and the great sorrow is that it deprives the person of a Holy Focus.  The man with the dog is a practicing Christian, the one who can't seem to let go of detracting me is a fellow Catholic.  Yet there it is--on going obsessive dislike.  Just see how we Christians can lose our way, by one means or another, and can keep up an obsessive dislike for days, weeks, months and then years?  There is no way, truth, beauty or freedom in Christ in that form of imprisonment.

St. Augustine lost his Holy Focus, having been reared as a devout Christian by his holy mother, St. Monica.  But thankfully, through prayer and love, Augustine returned to Jesus Christ and a Holy Focus, later on and in time for him to do much good for so many people and for the Lord Jesus Christ.  

And I ask you readers who have personally commented to me, to continue praying for the person who for whatever reasons (seemingly quite logical to that person), continues to be shackled by whatever personal dislikes and disgruntlements. You also do not need to let me know when the person erupts; it serves no holy purpose as it tends be reoccurring.  Rather, pray with me that the person can let go and let God, so to speak, and return to Christ's inner peace and consistent Holy Focus.  

I also ask you to pray for the man and the little dog, and his family.  While it seems a small matter, the problem lies within the person, and without trying to analyze how or why a person can develop such an obsessive disgruntlement, no matter how logical the reasons might seem to the person him- or herself--it is no way to live as a Christian.  It only makes the one obsessed be hindered and seem all the lesser or limited a follower of Christ.

This is also a good prayer for ourselves.  It is a prayer for myself.  And I ask you to pray for me, as well, in my time of transition from so much prayer in manual labor to be in prayer without the pressure of manual labor, as the Lord has called me into whatever is now and next.  

"Next" is continuing prayer for the needs of so many hurting people and distressful situations in their lives, yet without my needing to pour my body into physical work to the degree it had become accustomed.  Yes, it seems quite strange to not be in such solid ora et labora (prayer and work) and more so now in ora.  I must put my temporal body into manual labor as it is requisite for my pain management benefit--but far less in urgency of an earthly time frame and temporal reason.

The Holy Focus remains, but it has gone through a honing of massive proportions.  Yes, it is but seven weeks today that I could have easily been paralyzed or killed from the major smack of my body propelling through the air in the "flight from the stairway to heaven"--as I called the stairway my dear angel and I constructed in this temporal dwelling, the Te Deum Hermitage.

Gone is the need to have mental space allotted for remembering construction facts and figures, for figuring out detailed finishing work.  However, I still call upon St.  Joseph and Jesus and Mother Mary, and my Angel Beth, as Joseph and Jesus were carpenters, and Mary a mother.  All were of earth and of Heaven, and it is our Christ who reminds us, explains to us, admonishes us thus:

"one who swears by heaven swears by the throne of God
and by Him Who is seated on it."

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, for love is of God!

Affirmation on Frequent Prayer

This morning Office of Readings in the Divine Office (Monday of Week One), contains an excerpt from a letter to Proba, by Augustine.  Personally, it seemed a good affirmation from His Real Presence upon this hermit's returning to praying the seven "hours" of the Divine Office, breaking off other tasks in the day and utilizing the time in the night when awakened due to pain.

While not advocating set, formulaic, verbal or mental prayers for the sake of daily routine or sense of accomplishing some imposed standard for the eremitic prayer life, for this hermit, praying the Divine Office in segments is a discipline that had lapsed, and that happened to be a good effort.  

This is not meant to replace the affective prayers--those prayers of loving affection offered to His Real Presence, spontaneously and from deep within the heart.  Nor is it a substitute for meditative and contemplative prayer, should contemplation be graced by God upon the soul.  However, the Divine Office may lead the soul into meditation, and also unfold into contemplation.  A hermit has all the time God has given to be in His Real Presence; temporal tasks ought be secondary.

What impresses this hermit today, is Augustine's suggestion of praying at set hours with the purpose of turning our thoughts away from the efforts in the temporal, daily tasks and thoughts, and turning them to our heart's desire, which is His Real Presence:  Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  

There are additional, fine considerations in what Augustine writes to Proba.  Further in the letter (not represented below) is the reminder that the Lord's prayer contains all that is necessary in praying, if prayed from the heart and with full attention, desire, and love.  

However, as to this Catholic hermit's return to praying the Divine Office (which includes the Lord's Prayer) at various times in day and night, there is the added impetus that one is uniting in the same praises and supplications with all those who pray the Divine Office, world-wide.  This is one way in which a consecrated religious solitary is deeply connected with others of the Body of Christ not only in the present moment but also those who prayed and will pray the Office, past and future. 

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One might ask, as this hermit did:  Who is Proba?  From an internet site, Augnet.org, the following information helps explain.

"This is probably the letter of Augustine that is known the most.

"The letter Augustine wrote to Proba is called Letter 130. It was written in the year 412, by which time he had been a bishop for about seventeen years.

"Anicia Faltonia Proba was the widow of the wealthiest man in the Roman Empire.

"Three of her sons held the consulship. After Alaric led a Gothic army into Rome in 410 and pillaged the city, Proba, with a considerable retinue of widows and younger women, took refuge in Africa and established a community of religious women in Carthage.

"Among her group were her daughter Juliana and her grand-niece Demetrias. (Two years later in 414, Augustine wrote On the good of widowhood to Juliana.)

"Proba asked Augustine how she ought to pray, and in his response he advised her on the kind of person she ought to be, and what she ought to pray for.

"Author Peter Brown states that these ladies, affected by the teachings of Pelagius, elicited Augustine's most mature and sympathetic statements about his ideal for Christian life. Unlike Pelagius, Augustine could find room for a spectrum of human failings. In his own life and in that of others, he sought and encouraged blessedness, in spite of human failings.

"This Letter 130 by Augustine to Proba is a short instruction on Christian private prayer. The letter has two parts. Augustine first explains the interior condition desirable for praying (Chapters 1-3), and then (Chapters 4-13) explains the purpose of private prayer.

"The purpose of prayer is to attain a blessed life. He suggests that the use of words be kept brief and fervent, and be supported by a life of good works. The words are needed only to help us keep in mind what a person is requesting, and are not necessary to remind or persuade God regarding the request being made.

"Augustine proclaims that the Lord’s Prayer contains all the praise and petition that prayer requires. A person is free to express the same sentiments in other words if desired, but not to ask for anything that is either contrary to or beyond the scope of the Lord’s Prayer."

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Now for a selection from Augustine's letter to Proba:

Let us turn our mind to the task of prayer at appointed hours

"Let us always desire the happy life from the Lord God and always pray for it. But for this very reason we turn our mind to the task of prayer at appointed hours, since that desire grows lukewarm, so to speak, from our involvement in other concerns and occupations. We remind ourselves through the words of prayer to focus our attention on the object of our desire; otherwise, the desire that began to grow lukewarm may grow chill altogether and may be totally extinguished unless it is repeatedly stirred into flame.

"Therefore, when the Apostle says: Let your petitions become known before God, this should not be taken in the sense that they are in fact becoming known to God who certainly knew them even before they were made, but that they are becoming known to us before God through submission and not before men through boasting.

"Since this is the case, it is not wrong or useless to pray even for a long time when there is the opportunity. I mean when it does not keep us from performing the other good and necessary actions we are obliged to do. But even in these actions, as I have said, we must always pray with that desire. 

"To pray for a longer time is not the same as to pray by multiplying words, as some people suppose. Lengthy talk is one thing, a prayerful disposition which lasts a long time is another. For it is even written in reference to the Lord himself that he spent the night in prayer and that he prayed at great length. Was he not giving us an example by this? In time, he prays when it is appropriate; and in eternity, he hears our prayers with the Father.

"The monks in Egypt are said to offer frequent prayers, but these are very short and hurled like swift javelins. Otherwise their watchful attention, a very necessary quality for anyone at prayer, could be dulled and could disappear through protracted delays. They also clearly demonstrate through this practice that a person must not quickly divert such attention if it lasts, just as one must not allow it to be blunted if it cannot last.

"Excessive talking should be kept out of prayer but that does not mean that one should not spend much time in prayer so long as fervent attitude continues to accompany his prayer. To talk at length in prayer is to perform a necessary action with an excess of words. To spend much time in prayer is to knock with a persistent and holy fervor at the door of the one whom we beseech. This task is generally accomplished more through sighs than words, more through weeping than speech. He places our tears in his sight, and our sighs are not hidden from him, for he has established all things through his Word and does not seek human words."

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God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, for God Is Love!  Remain in His Love!