Bastardization of a Mass

The title pretty much explains what occurred during Mass.  The good Lord allowed a begging hermit to be released to leave the debacle.  When a priest does not have a vocation in priesthood but instead in theater and the arts, the result is not good when one is trying to perform in what is not the vocation.

This hermit's body has returned to the hermitage to pray, suffer, and pray some more, then praise His Real Presence.  There needs to be praise, always, for the sorrows can be overwhelming.

Will discuss the situation with the spiritual father.  For now, recollect oneself in prayer and shake off the horror, the hell, of the effects of this morning's Mass situation.  The sacrifice of being mercifully wrenched from a hellish situation part way through is offered for the salvation of this poor nothing consecrated Catholic hermit's soul and whatever the Lord wills of its mission in time remaining on earth.

Jesus bequeaths us His peace, not hell--especially not during Mass.

Would it do any good to talk with the one who surely must be trying to at least fulfill the rudimentary aspects as it relates to doing a "job"?  No.  Best to just pray and to keep working, and to embrace the exile the Lord has allowed for yet another year.

God bless His Real Presence in us, and that includes His Real Presence in all of us, despite confusing our callings or taking up what seems the route that provides some kind of security in order to express what and in which our nature and heart are more gifted.

This hermit will ponder these matters and reflect upon its own vocation and calling, and strive to fulfill living it in a way pleasing to the Lord.  That will be perhaps the best prayer in the circumstances.  Mystical ecstasies during Mass are not always bliss.  Being in such a state allows for a very deep sensing and showing at various levels.  When good, then bliss; when not so good, then hell.

At least this hermit tried and tried its best.  To soothe the criticism of any potential blog readers who like to attack, this hermit can say it is the hermit's fault, all of it.  And, in some regards, yes, we are to suffer in union with Jesus, all things.

One thing is certain regarding mystical experiences.  There is much suffering and responsibility, and always abject honesty in truth, along with the joy.  When in mystical ecstasy, it is all reality and all truth; nothing is obscured.

Catholic Hermit: Loneliness, Solitude

The other day, came across a small piece of old holy card or such.  Had pasted it on a postcard, thinking would send it to someone, sometime.  It was in a box stored in attic garret, amidst some stationery.  The citation cut off, the quote seems to be a private message from His Real Presence to someone.

"I shall lead you through the loneliness,
the solitude you will not understand;
but it is My shortcut in your soul."

How appropriate for a hermit, or anyone, really.

The definition of "loneliness" has with it the suggestion of sadness and of a state in which a person does not want to be--left to oneself, without company, sadly alone, or even desolate.  The definition of solitude is similar but also includes the essence of peace and tranquility in being left to oneself or alone, as if more a choice to be so.

Last week a friend from far away visited with an adult son.  They brought their lunch, and with the hermit ate our simple fare on the back deck among the cut wood ends, sawdust, compound miter saw and bench, and garden supplies.  The friend mentioned how we are made to be with others, to have community, and that perhaps the hermit needed more to be around people.  The comment was relative to a discussion of the area and the past two years, and the irony of neighbors here staying to themselves and the difficulty with hired help returning to finish what are tail ends of jobs and instead go off to larger, more lucrative work.

It all seemed fine with the hermit, once it understood that more than the finishing of a hermitage and above any temporal affect, the Lord wishes the hermit to learn various virtues, particularly that of total and complete faith, patience, and perseverance in hardship.  So it seemed humorous, when viewed with God's plans and goals for this one here, at this time of life, to see the irony in God's providing for the greater good of an exile experience.

At other times, the solitude can veer more to a feeling of the sorrowful aspect of "loneliness", or of a sense of desolation--IF the hermit loses the view of goodness in being graced with and cooperating with, striving with, some great virtues, particularly faith.  And it is not just faith, but total and complete faith--a high degree of faith, a degree nearing perfection of faith as an ultimate desire.

The friend commented that it does not seem "right" that the hermit have this much solitude, which seems rather extreme to some, for sure.  Yet there really are no options.  It is not as if the hermit can pick up and move back into civilization, for the hermitage remains unsalable, and the finances do not allow chucking it.  In our time period, money is needed for a hermit to live elsewhere, to rent a room or live in a campsite!  We don't have the option of finding some cave to move into.  The caves are on private property or on government park property; it all takes money and an approval of the land owner, and then there are such realities as health codes governing living with running water and having heat, trash disposal, paying taxes, and so forth.

When the friend emphasized that it does not seem right for a person to live in such solitude, and that God made us to be with others in a community--the hermit said it had recently pondered that, as well.  Jesus did not exemplify or advocate a hermit way of life, as his going off for 40 days was a suggestion of such, or spending nights alone in prayer, but he was not a hermit by vocation.  But then, the hermit commented to the friend that He did not live a married vocation, nor was he a temple priest.

The friend smiled and said had not thought of that.  The friend had been in the married vocation, and Jesus had not.  But Jesus knew of those who were essentially hermits:  many of the prophets, including John the Baptist.  They lived lives of solitude to varying degrees and for varying lengths of time. Some returned more to people, or people sought them out, or they came upon people like Elijah had, or Jeremiah--sent to deliver messages--or John the Baptist to prepare the way for people to recognize and turn to the Messiah.

They were called prophets, not hermits, back then.  Many were called other words, as well, by those who did not understand how God would utilize such rather extreme-type humans, their sights set on God above all things, with a stricter separation from the world, more hidden from the eyes of men and some very hidden so much so that there are no doubt many who did not find mention in Scriptures.  The names of the Essenes (John the Baptist's and Jesus' forbearers) are for the most part buried with their bones in the desert or mountains.

The friend and son left after meaningful conversation and some manual labor help (so grateful!).  The hermit then uncovered this bit of post card upon which years ago it had glued the little quote and image with it; and God spoke to the hermit this reminder and reason for the seeming enforced solitude and nuances of loneliness.  Again: "I shall lead you through the loneliness,
                               the solitude you will not understand;
                               but it is My shortcut in your soul."

Yet the hermit does understand the solitude to a point--in that it has become obvious through circumstances these past couple or more years of exile.  (And, the hermit's friend and friend's son visited; and the hermit's adult daughter and her family visit once every month or two.)  God has ordained and set forth the circumstances and allowed that there is really no way out of this degree of solitude in exile, until such time as the hermit dies or loses ability to function, or is slowly able to have the place livable to most human's desires...and salable by current, real estate market standards. 

What the hermit had forgotten, in part, is the reason for God's choosing and allowing this time of exile, of a greater degree of solitude, silence--and at times seemingly to the nuance of current defined loneliness as desolation.  Rather, "The solitude is His Real Presence's shortcut to the hermit's soul."  It is in the solitude that He will teach, hone, convert, conform, and unite the hermit's soul to His Real Presence.

Thus, the solitude, the loneliness, are most welcome guests here.  The loneliness loses that aspect of definition as desolate and forlorn as if not acceptable to others or shunned.  No, the solitude and loneliness of a hermit is not even so much of its own efforts or choosing and in fact ought not be other than its total surrender to God's will.  The solitude and loneliness of a hermit, in genuine aspects as result of going with God's flow, is that of God's choosing and orchestrating the silent sounds of His Real Presence in the soul.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another and remain together in His Love.  In His Love is our conjoint spiritual communion and community mystically lived.

Guidance from a Solitary Hermit and Bits on Exile

In reading more of John Climacus' The Ladder of Divine Ascent, this hermit is blessed with pertinent guidance in daily life here in the hermitage.

Returned from two days in civilization (all went well, allowing love to take over).  Learned that the one remaining family unit, although they live a distance already, may be moving.  This possibility reminds this hermit that the temporal passes easily, and the Lord allows changes which are all very good for those seeking Him in each detail.

John Climacus (6th c. solitary hermit) describes three levels or types of religious.  The first are those who live among many others, such as in a monastery.  (In our current times, this could include hermits who are more interactive in parishes, work in public jobs, and are generally known in and for their hermit vocations.)

The second are those who live with two or three others who are seeking God in a more focused, spiritual solitude.  (Today, this could include those who live together in a house, or in a small monastery with laura-type apartments or individual cabins.)

The third type or way is a hermit who is more isolated from others, and experiences vast amounts of silence and stillness.  Climacus himself was of this way of eremitic existence, and describes such a hermit as a solitary, one who lives alone, not with others. (Such a hermit in current times would embrace a more austere existence, face rigorous physical and spiritual trials, yielding growth, but who also may be more criticized by others in a world of increased and rapid communication, technology, and value placed in material and action-oriented success.)

Climacus ascribes the term hesychia to one who does not approach this third level of solitude but is more of the first two types.  He terms as a "solitary" or a "hermit", one who is of the third type--very much immersed in solitude and stillness to a higher degree than the other two categories.

_______________________
  

Climacus devotes the third step of the divine ascent to emphasizing the point and value of exile.  The solitary hermit must enter into this mode which Climacus describes as an irrevocable renunciation of all to which one has become comfortable, attached, used to, in one's familiar surroundings...and which hinders the soul from the ideal of holiness.  

Climacus is not one for extremism.  Although to some, including perhaps the first type of religious who lives among many people and interacts more frequently with what is familiar and in the world, if even the world of the church or monastery, his thoughts on exile might seem extreme. They are not, however, at least not to the degree of following Christ to which a solitary hermit type desires, and to that of union with God.  Climacus wisely states, though, that not every form of exile is good if taken to extremes in ways that are not led by God or without discretion.

The description of exile:  a separation from everything in order that one may hold on totally to God.  It is a chosen route of great grief.  An exile is a fugitive, running from all relationships with his own relatives and with strangers.  

Advice for the hermit solitary who desires the ideal comes, but he describes the traits of God's grace that come through the effort:  a disciplined heart, unheralded wisdom, an unpublicized understanding, a hidden life, masked ideals....

[Exile] is unseen meditation, the striving to be humble, a wish for poverty, longing for what is divine.  It is an outpouring of love, a denial of vainglory, a depth in silence.

As for advice to those who take the narrow path of exile:  Do not wait for souls [who are] enamored with the world when you are pressing on towards solitude and exile.  In any case, death [to self, to the world] comes when least expected.  Many set themselves the aim of rescuing the indifferent and the lazy--and end up lost themselves....Not all of us are summoned to rescue others.

And this, on detachment:  Detachment is good and its mother is exile.  Someone withdrawing from the world for the sake of the Lord is no longer attached to possessions that he should not be deceived by the passions.  If you have left the world, then do not begin to reach out for it.  Otherwise your passions will come back to you....

A true exile, despite his possession of knowledge, sits like someone of foreign speech among men of other tongues.

This gives a glimpse of but one small section of the thirty "rungs" or steps of the ladder to God.

What it evokes for this hermit is much assistance in what is currently being experienced in daily life.  It is not the withdrawal from relationships, as that has occurred quite naturally and without this hermit having to do the parting.  It is more the additional descriptions of the most solitary of the types of hermits, which are so very helpful. 

Climacus describes the throes of adaptation, quite aptly!  He writes of the pitfalls, of God allowing the devil to try to draw the soul back out into more active duty among men, even of the good works of active Christians, and appeals to pride in souls that would have them think they are something rather than nothing.

________________


There is so much more, but just today, when very cold in here, the body did not want to get out of what warmth the bed and a small space heater provide.  Yet, the inner spirits began seeking distractions, and it began to ponder just how solitary is the solitary life, and even a dream had dangled financial aspects of the world in a fantasy way.  

This hermit was just about to think itself back into what-if's of life in the outer world, even of the good aspects of the temporal church. But the grass was too high, and the days are numbered for weather good enough to mow it.  Just then, in another section of his guide, Climacus mentioned that solitaries needed to have a pile of palms nearby so that they would fight off temptations in thought, by working in weaving mats.

Two-and-a-half hours later, the grass here was mowed, and a silent, solitary, but stilled and thought-stabilized hermit came back to the warmer room in the hermitage, and thanked God for John Climacus who is evidently accepting this hermit's request that he be the spiritual guide for now.

The book is so good, that when the hermit received a rare phone call this evening from a friend, John Climacus' writing became a topic.  The woman and her husband live the second type of religious that Climacus describes, although they have not taken vows other than as oblates.  But their life circumstances have them as two monks living apart from the world other than her work editing a religious, online publication.   

She mentioned how, with her husband ill much of the time, that the silence gets to her, so she wears a headset with ear buds so that she can listen to some news or other programs. Yes, she said the silence becomes too intense for her, day in and day out, even though her husband may be in the next room, sleeping.  

This hermit admitted that it is a process, the adaptation to some of the pulling away in order to draw toward His Real Presence in a depth we'd never thought, through a narrow gate of which we'd read in Scripture but not fathomed how narrow it can be in the unfolding of actuality.

She would like the book.  Am going to send a copy to her.  They both will find help in their daily lives and spiritual lives, for they are seeking the ideal of holiness, as well, even if not consecrated religious of the eremitic life.

This hermit here has so much to learn, and most of it by hard experience.  Praise His Real Presence!  God bless His Real Presence in us, and let us love one another, little children.  Remain in His Love!