Was praying about the option of Mass at the monastery that is of different rite, different tradition. Certain aspects came up in research and in prayerful mediation. Fell asleep and awoke being told by very clear Voice, "Not for you."
This hermit knows that Voice. Yet, in order to discern more fully have been doing more research and prayer.
It is best to remain cautious and hidden, for now. There is no need to get involved in polemics over faith, over tradition and rite. Something the abbot has written as well as comments made, are red flags. So often this hermit gets the signals clearly and senses for others, and then when the signals come to itself, tends to talk itself out of them.
Have tried to talk out of "Not for you" for a few days now. But, it will be best to simply wait and pray and remain in silence and solitude. After all have been through in the past few years, is wisdom to tread slowly and softly into something with a simple statement. When considering all factors, it is not for this hermit, not now and perhaps not at all.
Best to remain this nothing Catholic hermit and be removed from temporal polemics between believers--of which there really ought not be the fussing and the debates and the self-righteousness of one way over another.
This morning when in silence and serenity, after having stuffed steel wool in as many visible, potential rat entry holes and crevices in this hermitage, the simple desire of wanting to be close to His Real Presence over took the body, mind, heart and soul. That is the earthly and heavenly desire, and all else--even rats invading this physical space at night--fades in significance, concern or consideration.
And that, too, covers the polemics and any polemicist of which hermit this or that, or which parish this or that, or which way to pray or what to wear or who to sidle up to or what devotion or shrine--not interested in self-righteousness or Pharisaic parsing or divisions.
All polemics and polemicists (even those doing so convinced in the Name of Christ) crumble to what is the earthly and heavenly desire of this nothing Catholic hermit: just want Jesus, surrender all to Jesus, remain in His Love.
After searching through some boxes, packed a year-and-a-half ago in a comfortable and lovely hermitage far away, found the leather-bound breviaries. The fourth volume is now marked with its ribbons and ready for this hermit to begin once more, praying the hours, all of them, throughout the days and the nights. There is no reason not to. Nothing is pressing in urgency otherwise. Being in the Living Word more and more, praising and praying and remaining in His Real Presence, will be pleasing to this soul and His Soul.
(Was reminded in Scupoli, that one consideration for meditating is to consider what Jesus sacrificed for his soul, and what He sacrificed for our souls. It is good to remember that Jesus as Man has a soul, and as God Is Creator of souls. The treasures of pondering Jesus Human and Divine, are endless.)
God bless His Real Presence in us! Little children, let us love one another, for love is of God! Remain in His Love!