Awoke in what is becoming typical break-through pain. Had attempted, last evening, one small bit of activity--very minor and minimal--a task, on yard upkeep. It was obviously too much for the severe muscle problem in upper back. Due to the level of pain and inability to do much of anything using that area of back and the right arm, the muscle is perhaps torn, not sprained. Or is it the pain and solitude playing upon the mind, heart, and spirit?
Have been pondering why the recent viewing of light, British mystery. And also why the disinterest and detachment from current news of this temporal world?
It has to do with phases of the mind, heart, and soul--and also very much the body. Did a small bit of research; the internet is excellent for that. Had already figured that the Lord was answering the prayer to detach this hermit from temporal loves and to be increasingly attached to His Love--and thus love in His Love, all His Creatures and Creation.
As to why the viewing of the gentle (some are tense and more violent) British mystery videos, the hermit already knew it was using them as a form of detaching from higher levels of physical pain. The mindless aspects and somewhat predictable outcomes of justice prevailing in the end, were soothing when the mind is besieged trying to manage severe pain. Often enough, the music and lilting British accents and the bucolic scenery of English countryside and more gentle and restrained characters, lulled the hermit into dozing.
Current news clips do not do that; they are not soothing, and often enough it is just one crime or outrage or wrong-doing after another. One knows without watching, what one is to pray for in the world. The categories are obvious, and the events repeat themselves, horrible as they are and disastrous, and the magnitude of human suffering from evils perpetrated or untruths and maneuvering, of man's inhumanity to man, of the decline of morality and religious freedom, of poverty--the realities are known. Prayers are needed and offered.
Mysteries--fictionalized--offer an opiate and an escape. There is a control over a situation but second- or third-hand, from outside observation. Wrongs are righted. Clues are presented, and the mind is engaged in some degree or other, or does not have to be; the show begins and ends within a brief period of temporal time. Justice prevails. Themes of man's minds and souls are unveiled--themes of all mankind since the beginning, since the Garden of Eden. Good vs. Evil and choices to be made--and man overcoming the evil, the wrongs, the lacking of good turning to increase in good, for the time being.
There is a linkage between a mystery and God in the Mass. The other day, resting on this mattress and trying to cope with the pain and have a break from asking God some questions about how to proceed with so much work needing to be done here and the body incapacitated and for who knows how long--noticed a program that involved the paranormal but yet a mystery. However, it was tense and unnerving, and justice was not served in the end. That one did not at all lead this hermit's body, mind, heart or spirit in any upward movement toward God--not even in any way the hermit can usually bring some holy good out of most incidents or situations.
But when in the research on why people are drawn to mysteries, the point was made that they can be a simple escape and a type of opiate, that made sense as to the recent inclusion of some of the gentler forms of the mystery, in the hermit's daily life.
Yesterday was able to read another homily of Pseudo-Macarius, but the severe pain in upper back vies for mental space, and the result was rather exhausting--yet there is assurance when reading spiritually beneficial material, that the conclusion will always be uplifting even if the mind cannot grasp much content. Any of the content of a solidly spiritual book, and the writings of ascertained holy persons, is going to be an increase in the good.
When the body is 22 hours or more in prone position, and trying to manage pain, and praying for guidance, and trying to be quieted to listen to His Real Presence, relief to the suffering is most welcome and helpful. We must latch onto what God provides even if it seems not what would lead us into His Love and upward spiraling. Some aspects might surprise us, and with a little thought and asking, and listening, and a little research (consulting others who have background in various topics), we get answers to something as simple as why does a person enjoy or benefit from a mystery?
However, this phase is also temporary for this hermit. Upon waking at 3 a.m. this time, it was the reading of His Living Word that soothed even if the pain is such that the mind cannot cling to the Words themselves. The soul is able to cling to the Word Himself. It feels reassured and good that the mind has read the Word, and there are bits that remain conscious, such as that of being consecrated. Jesus speaks of being consecrated. St. Paul talks of perseverance. More than that, in detail or comprehension, the mind escapes and now is listening to the chirping birds as dawn breaks.
God bless His Real Presence in us, and us in Him! Let us love with His love, one another. Praise Him for the healing of our bodies, minds, hearts, and spirits--in all ways that He chooses, for differing situations and in the passing away of this world, our world in the temporal, and for the permanence of existing in His Love for eternity.