Catholic Hermit, Mystic: On Remaining Grounded

 

Been awhile, again, since I've written on this blog.  Just improving from a lengthy infection related, perhaps, to the Adhesive Arachnoiditis spinal condition.  Arachnoiditis can affect organs in the abdomen or whatever is closest to the damaged spinal cord nerves--but also anywhere a nerve travels in the body--which is anywhere!  Oh, the joy!  Ha ha!

As to my hermit vocation, it is alive and well and probably all the more so because I rarely if ever think about it.  I don't need to, and I didn't need to be writing on and on about it and especially not what I've learned regarding the option for being a diocese or CL603 hermit or a traditional-historical hermit.  I don't need to think about or write about hermit life and vocation because God finally got through to me that I am and have been for years living the eremitic vocation by His grace.

Nothing other or more was or is needed.  Just His grace is sufficient for me.  I do not need the hermit label, nor do I need the mystic label, nor the victim soul label, nor the Catholic label other than it provides context for a blog title of anonymous writing and sharing.  As to my life in Christ and in the Church, my life in Christ is lived by God's grace; there is nothing more for me to need to do but to be and live in Christ.  My profession of the three evangelical counsels were and are and will always be: to God, to His Real Presence--Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

But while simply living as God unfolds my life, I've had another answer to something I considered possibly might be something I was to offer, and that is to help others individually, online.  Well, I can help, but of course, if some aspect becomes alarming, I will be very forthright in what I find alarming.  I'm sure if speaking with others via Skype or Zoom, that would provide a better visual added to written grasp. But over even a few emails, one can get a sense.  But I don't really think God has online, individualized counseling or guidance as what He wills, at least for now, other than if brief getting-to-know others so as to pray specifically or to "give a word" to the best of what in prayer and through the Holy Spirit it seems I am shown and if, to suggest.

So it is that I've been reminded of and return to emphasizing the need for myself and anyone, really, but particularly in this instance those with mystical experiences, to remain grounded.  Or, if one is relatively new to grasping one is experiencing or could be, mystical experiences, then to learn how to remain grounded.  (And I suppose this reminder for hermits, as well, if a tendency to be consumed with such a thing as a canon law, to remain grounded.)  

Remaining grounded can help us then take a breath and see ourselves as we are, and then to be freed for the Holy Spirit to open our minds, hearts, and souls to something beyond that which we humans can become ensnared, absorbed, blinded, imprisoned. 

Otherwise, the risk is that of fixating and obsessing on the experiences, and of creating mental and emotional strain that can lead to regression or if not curtailed, to nervous or mental breakdowns or other health issues.  Striving to press the mind to focus on meditating with desire to attain "contemplation," or excessive reading of mystics and mystical experiences with desire to figure out one's "level" or to identify if one has this or that mystical experience that some saint or other has experienced, or what it is labeled, can cause mental and emotional fatigue.

In addition, such focus can become as mentioned, an obsessions, with the person wanting to write or talk about each and every aspect that may or may not be a mystical or spiritual experience.  The more the person obsesses or fixates or becomes desirous of such experiences or even desirous of achieving some "benchmark" that a mystic or saint has written, can become an unwitting, subconscious incidence of false experiences that materialize from the mind and emotions or physiological, or  of bodily symptoms.

Perhaps I've not written enough or not for a long time, or at all, specifically about learning to be "grounded."  I know I've written about the importance of John of the Cross' writings in which he may even go farther than what might be necessary for those who are not seeking experiences nor want them, for John of the Cross emphasizes brushing aside mystical experiences when one thinks or if they indeed arise.

I have always considered that John himself did not brush aside all mystical experiences--dreams, visions, locutions and the like.  Nor did Teresa of Avila.  However, they were well-grounded; they had a solid grasp of their spiritual lives as well as had their feet and their minds solidly planted in the temporal world, as well.  As Teresa of Avila famously wrote, "God is among the pots and pans."  We don't need to have mystical experiences to know God or to prove His existence, His reality.

And, all through Christian history and before, in Jewish history of which Jesus' ancestors and parents lived, if the prophets and many noted personages had ignored the Spirit or God's Voice or reaching in to the temporal world, we'd not have had the Ten Commandments, or Abraham's hosting and heeding the angels' words and announcing Sarai would bear a son in her old age. We'd not have had so many events unfold of which the Old Testament is filled with God speaking to man in various ways, or of reaching in with life-altering and temporal events to teach and aid the children of God nor to have God as Man born by the overshadowing of the Spirit and born to a virgin in a young woman named Mary.

We'd not have had Jesus live had the Wisemen ignored their dream of warning to go back a different route and avoid Herod.  Had Joseph ignored his dream of warning to take the child Jesus and Mary into Egypt, the salvation history would have finished at that point and not been fulfilled.  Had, in fact, Joseph ignored the dream instructing him to not divorce Mary but to quietly take her into his home and as his wife, and had Joseph not trusted nor discerned that locution--what then?

And on through the New Testament, time and again after Jesus resurrected, ascended, and sent the Holy Spirit at Pentecost--if Paul had ignored his being slain in the Spirit and knocked to the ground, blinded outwardly but inwardly then told to whom he was to be led and to whom he'd meet and speak--we'd not have had the great evangelist to the Gentiles and his inspired writings.

On through the centuries--and I can attest in my own life--that had it not been for the dreams, visions, locutions and a variety of mystical experiences and events--I'd not have endured nor would have helped in various situations even if difficult to do so, nor would I have become a Catholic, even.  Had I ignored dreams, visions, and locutions, I'd not have managed, nor would have been God's instrument through instruction from Mary, to develop a novel model of a soup kitchen that grew miraculously and brought people of various faiths together as volunteers and recipients, both.  I also would not have grasped then that my life was going to require the hermit life, a life of "hibernation" in order to be protected from the "world"--protected in a most positive sense in that I also was given the "beginnings of wisdom" so that I would know my life was to be focused on God in a way of being called out from "the world."

However, I listened to others when they indicated, such as Dr. H. years before I became Catholic, when my inner life was being opened up in major aspects.  Dr. H. emphasized even then the need to learn to remain "grounded."  Another person suggested to me to journal as a means to write out the seeming near bombardment of dreams and numinous experiences and locutions before I knew the vocabulary of such aspects.  And the vocabulary or knowing does not matter--unless God wills us to know a word to describe or to understand.  Writing down in a journal and setting it aside, interacting with others and focusing on the needs of others (in my case three young children), and also tending with one's own needs if ill or suffering--but even then striving to be other-centered is a must.

I recalled what my mother had told me she'd read as a suggestion when I had to take a semester off college due to a tailbone surgery that went awry.  (Seems as if God has always used my spine to cause life-situation changes when needed, and when I lacked courage or was ignoring what He was wanting of me!)  My mother suggested writing down 10 things each day that I could do for others.  It was a good challenge, and that thought put to action has served me well all my life.  It is a good way to help remain grounded in a variety of life circumstances--not only in spiritual life deserts or times of strain or trial.

I do not want readers, please, to be reading this blog or viewing videos to think at all that what I share is what I go over in my mind or obsess over, nor do I even begin to write down for myself or to share, nor do I discuss my spiritual experiences in general or even but rarely in specific.  I have shared those more major ones that I remember because they are pivotal  in some way, mostly I think they might be inspirational for others to know that God is so very real, and that God can reach into humans' lives yet today in profound ways.  I pray that my writing otherwise has shown a very human and imperfect sinner and one who does not have it all figured out.  I don't.

One thing I mentioned recently to someone is that when I'd become even overly intense on some book I was reading, such as too deep into the weeds of some scholars' writings of a Gospel, or too intense or upset by some wrong that the Lord had shown me in the temporal life of the temporal aspects of Church.  My late spiritual father (an anam cara more than a director per se in later years, but who as an anam cara and a priest of 72 years had vast experience in the spiritual life but also simply in the lives of people--could tell by a letter or a phone call that I was becoming too intense--not even at a point of obsessing or fixating.  He'd say, "Get to your gardens!  Go out into your gardens and weed or prune or dig!"  

In other words, "Turn to some manual labor, or watch a film, or bake some cookies for someone, or a healthy meal, or run an errand to buy some infant clothing to donate to the Women's Care Center."  Turn on some music--even secular artists.  Do some arts and crafts, go for a walk, watch a movie, exercise, play a game, turn on the news and find all kinds of people and situations in need of prayer.  Pray simply; take a break from novenas and verbal and mental prayers; just talk with Jesus.  Laugh.  (I know I've shared my "laugh therapy" technique but will again.  Force a laugh and do so up to 10 forced laughs.  You likely won't make it to 10 without starting to laugh genuinely due to how ridiculously funny to hear yourself force-laugh aloud.)

Do what it takes to break off from becoming self-absorbed or too much into my mind.  (Usually it is my mind that can become a snare more than my emotions, but for some it is the emotions that arrest and imprison.)  Get out of oneself.  stop focusing so intensely on the spiritual. Stop the self-love, in essence and substance.

In the Catholic realm, people are used to the long-standing aspect of turning to the priest for guidance, approval. The priest is considered to be one to be in the know due to years of education and often years of experience in counsel, confession, and much people in life experience.  A Catholic priest thus and for various reasons sociological and psychological, therefore is one of whom people will tend to be more obedient or trust what is advised.  In the case of a priest who is advising someone with mystical experiences, and if the priest is kind but cautious in someone who begins to experience or realize they are having what they think are mystical experiences, then the priest at some point will advise the person to remain grounded--either using that term or some other, or asking the person to do this or that other than to risk obsessing or fixating or seeking or desiring spiritual growth or experiences to an unhealthy degree at that time. 

Do not try to figure out what "mansion" or stage you are in, that some spiritual master in the writing of marvelous books have set forth meant to be helps and encouragement.  These were not to be used to try to place yourself or others in this or that level or "place".  Such an attitude or usage can cause disappointment, pride, envy, or a form of greed or gluttony to want more or "higher" or "farther" which often includes wanting "faster."  Heed John of the Cross' advise as it is better to discount and brush aside spiritual experiences or even nuances than to risk creating your life in them.  If a dream or message or vision or inner nudge is something you are to heed, don't worry; God in the Holy Spirit will re-touch you again if you are to act on it or learn from it.

I recall one time the first priest I went to and who was my confessor, told me one morning prior to Mass--ordered me--to stop praying.  During Mass that directive hit me hard, and I began to weep.  An older couple behind me, after Mass, were concerned for they knew me for years and knew my parents--had been neighbors, in fact. While I was a new Catholic, I took very seriously the idea of "obedience" to a priest because I knew not differently; that priest was more "into" such authority and autocratic leadership style.  

This was not the first time he'd ordered me to do something that went against my inner sense of rightness.  But the Lord had already had me meet the priest who was to be my marvelous spiritual da and anam cara.  So I started to run by the spiritual da some of what the autocratic priest would order.  But as to the directive to stop praying, the priest himself backed off that, for I was not one to be emotional, and he knew that already.  I explained that I literally could not stop praying; my life is prayer.  He softened, then, and said to go ahead an pray!

But looking back, I realize he likely was not sure how to proceed for my spiritual life was going through another massive opening-up phase, and becoming Catholic birthed profuse introductions to what was so profound and providing answers to so much in my previous years of life.  And, he also likely wanted to make sure I was remaining "grounded" and wanted me to lay off the spiritual intensity.  He just pushed the wrong button with that particular directive to stop praying.  The Holy Spirit deals with these matters; I had other opportunities to serve in practical ways to put into effect praying in all ways.  The spiritual da had mentioned to me "omnia pro Deo".  When I asked him what does that mean, he explained it means "all for God"--do all in your life as if you are doing it for God Himself.

I pray that the above gives you some idea of what we all need to remember to do in all aspects of life when we become too intense, or the trials (even COVID which is certainly a trial on-going with very serious ramifications to our minds and hearts and spirits), in order to remain grounded.  This is true for non-believers! But for Christians, remaining grounded  is crucial in the spiritual life.  Perhaps it is even more crucial for Catholics because of the greater structure and the vast array of prayers, devotions, saints and mystics, books to read on active and spiritual paths, of Scriptural emphasis in daily Mass, of liturgy, and of the Consecration in Mass daily, as well.  The Mass in totality being a mystical experience in itself is yet another indication of the depth and breadth of Catholicism as a never-ending treasure chest of spiritual life and the reality of His Real Presence.

All the more, each of us needs to be aware of our temporal and spiritual health of body, mind, heart, and soul.  And, we need to heed signals and even words spoken or written by others who in whatever way they deliver the message and concern that means in essence and substance:  remain grounded.

If we already have some go-to ways and means of what helps us or anyone to remain grounded, we can more easily and quickly pivot to what will help us avoid what can be--and I'm quite serious here--quite serious ramifications to the person who otherwise might have progressed or been assisted in learning to discern God's will and to work naturally and successfully with whatever spiritual gifts given.  Most mystics are quite minor players in the spectrum of mystical history and personages; most pass as unknown and hidden, unnoticed, as cabbage butterflies, with their lives as brief as cabbage butterflies in the full spectrum of human existence. 

So please, dear readers, regardless whatever our call in temporal and spiritual life: Learn to remain grounded.  Simply remain grounded!

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit: Confirmation Saint; Soul School

Yesterday, off and on, amidst the on-going higher level of suffering, I considered with great gratitude and love, the brief life of Sr. Josefa Menendez.  She died nearly 100 years ago in a convent in France where she had been sent from a brief stay at a convent in Spain, her native country.  

Not knowing French, she was otherwise cordoned off, regardless, for she was a mystic and victim soul, as well.  Jesus visited her regularly in her cell, set off from others by a superior who feared the disruption Josefa's mysticism and victim soul sufferings would create with the other sisters in the convent.  

While some might find it quite difficult to fathom how a Catholic religious, let alone a superior of a convent, be so cruel and have perhaps her own envy of Josefa's spiritual gifts and the especial love of Jesus for her, such ignorant and negative, fearful attitudes toward mystics and victim souls persist today, as they have for centuries.  

We human beings can be quite nasty and cruel, even those who profess to be in the consecrated life of the Church, even if claiming some legal status or position, or even some ordained in holy orders.  Mercy, Lord, have mercy on us pathetic creatures when status and legalism, when ignorance of God's law of love and the viciousness of pride and envy bite our very souls themselves, to a point we can no longer see our own hypocrisies.

When it came time for me to be confirmed a Catholic, I had quite the inner debate as to whom to ask to be my confirmation patron saint.  I greatly love and admire Teresa of Avila, for she appeared to me in a vision in broad daylight, in a classroom of adults in our doctoral clinical psychology program of studies.  I had done a rare thing--volunteered for a demonstration by the professor of a technique for use with patients, when instead, this old house appeared, and I was beckoned forth, to enter inside.  

Within, I was drawn to a room in the back right of the dwelling, where sat on a wood stool at a slant-top, old writing table, a woman clothed in dark, simple garment--to me like a robe-like covering, with what I later would be able to label as a religious habit, with veil or covering over her head and across forehead, but her face bespectacled, rimless.  She was an old woman, and she was writing on parchment, a quill ink pen in hand which she'd dip into a container of ink.

She indicated to me she wished to speak.  I relayed this to the professor sitting beside me in front of the roomful of adults in full and astonished silence as I had been describing what I was experiencing in real time, and the professor asking questions and suggesting questions to ask this unexpected person whom I could see clearly, but no others could see or, soon enough, hear her speaking.

So at first, when the woman began to speak, I would repeat as the professor suggested I do so--share what this woman who I could identify as seemingly from the Middle Ages, was saying to me.  But at some point early on, the woman's voice was able to use my throat and voice box, as far more efficient way of communicating her messages which soon enough were clearly great wisdoms and insights.  

Her messages were tremendous helps to me personally, and at first seemed directed to what the others did not know had occurred with me the day prior.  I had been told by a second-opinion spine specialist at Scripps Medical Center, LaJolla, CA, that my then-recent spine surgery and the emergency spine surgery after I'd died in recovery, had caused what the specialists said, would be a life of pain of which I'd have to learn to live a life I never dreamed I'd have to live.

But the old woman's insights eclipsed my personal needs and began to encompass wisdoms of spiritual dimensions beyond normal considerations.  She spoke of suffering in terms sublime and supernatural, and of suffering in conjunction with love, and into Christ's love and light, and of unconditional love, also, as means of union with Christ and of superseding physical pain.

She also, then, at the same time, seem to know the thoughts of others in the room.  She knew one woman in particular was antagonistic to what the woman was sharing, using my voice to do so.  (That in itself was a profoundly strange and unique experience for me: practical, functional, yet surreal!)  Regardless, the woman spoke out and said there is one who wishes to ask me questions, and directed this to the student in the room who had firm new age ideologies, and who was not liking one bit this woman's definite religious and Christian, holy wisdom and insights.

I will say the old woman who sat at her desk, visibly before me, and at the same time speaking through me in her stilted voice, an unfamiliar-to-me accent, but speaking in English, most definitely held her own with the new age woman.  I guess we'd say the old woman "shut her down" by wisdom and logic, if not also with a firmness of authority that astounded me--and I think others in the room, as well.  The professor was certainly speechless with this profound authority of messages elevated and as coming from beyond this world, this life.

No one else, after the new age woman's attempt to disagree with what the old woman had shared, and without a chance of coming close to succeeding against supernal truths, had more to ask.  The woman I could see and who was using my voice, finished, dissipated from view and corporeal presence.  The professor called for a class break; the adults erupted in exclamations and amazement.

So while I had no idea who was the woman in the vision and who spoke profoundly in specific ways to help me (and as it turned out, anyone) deal with suffering, understand suffering as God's perfect purpose and part of His plan, and how suffering teaches, and suffering is as God's love, and to embrace and suffer in His love--I will never forget her.  

About that time I came to encounter some Catholic writings; one such was that of Teresa of Avila's autobiography.  Still, I did not connect her as one and the same woman who appeared and spoke in what remains a first and only public, verbal encounter witnessed by a group.  I would not recognize her until I was given a holy card with a replica time-period, painting of the saint on the card.

Thus when I was deciding upon which of two persons who I wanted to give thanks and ask their patronage in my Catholic confirmation (private instruction, private confirmation), it was between Teresa of Avila and Sr. Josefa Menendez, the mystic and suffering victim soul and relatively little known woman, one of three daughters of a widowed mother who did not want her daughter to leave for the convent, until finally she relented--neither mother or daughter knowing the nuns would send her immediately to one of their convents in Poitier, France, far from her family, never to see them again.

But I had not yet made the Teresa of Avila direct connection from the prayer card image; it had not been given me yet; and I asked Teresa of Avila whose writings I so admired and felt integral connection, to help me decide.  I realized Teresa as Doctor of the Church and canonized saint, a foundress and reformer of the discalced Carmelites, was a powerfully endowed soul, indeed!  

Yet I thought of Teresa's strength of humility, and of her writings so practical and spiritually endowed, both--and figured she'd be pleased if I would take the patronage of this persecuted, misunderstood, victim soul and mystic who died young, just as in many ways my life was truncated when relatively young, my earthly crucifixion from normal life having come at age 33.  I figured Teresa to be pleased I'd befriend the little-known sister whose writings I'd just recently been given to read by the priest who the Lord had directed me to contact in another odd set of circumstances which included a locution telling me "and this is the priest to whom you are to go!"  

Sister Josefa Menendez it is!  When I finally saw a photo of her face, she looked like a dear and lovely young woman who had so willingly helped me and my three young children, following the spine surgeries and after my parents returned to their home in another state, after taking care of us for three months following the surgeries in 1987.  

How amazing is our Lord God, Creator of heaven and earth and of all life, our Teacher, our Savior, our Redeemer, our Love!

While I've shared more about my encountering so personally, Teresa of Avila, I've not shared much of Sr. Josefa Menendez other than she is my confirmation saint, and her death day ad commemoration day, thus, in my heart and mind and soul, is December 29.  I'm not sure where is her process of canonization other than perhaps in the early phase of Servant of God, if that.  It does not matter, not to her, I'm sure, in her tremendous humility and her place in heaven for eternity.  

But what does matter to me is that I have not re-read her diary (The Way of Divine Love) in a long time, and I do not think of her nearly as would be delightful to her and to Christ, and helpful to my mind, heart, and spirit.  And of my spirit--admittedly it is struggling currently in ways difficult to describe--and truly not defensible for someone who is a consecrated Catholic hermit for two decades and a bit more from the first recognition of God's calling me to this vocation.  

Even my excuses of the added abdominal suffering to the spine and tooth pain, and of the specific, strangely sensing of my unknowings in passing over into another phase--these excuses are simply as worn out as is my temporal body!  Not going to cut it in the abundance of spiritual life of faith, hope, and love in God--these excuses!

And yes, it is allowable for one to have a technically non-canonized "saint" to be a confirmation saint, for any who are into legalisms, of which law and order do have their places in our temporal lives as well as the life and structure of the temporal Catholic world, to a certain degree if not ever overshadowing God's supreme Law of Love.

My life increasingly has evolved and been enhanced so much further and beyond the fussings or claims of ones who clasp at authority in some temporal or assumed legalism, fashioned or formed.  There is a blessing in gift of enough suffering to propel one through and onto other, into supernatural realities that pare the mind, heart and soul to a nib of what one has been  (yes, a true has-been) or thought to have been--and still remain quite imperfect yet not imprisoned in ego, or delusion of position or grandeur.  

May God be praised in His gift to us of His suffering, and when we are asked to share in His sufferings of many-facets.  May we persevere in suffering, learning from Him and of His love.  Love to suffer, and suffer to love.  Some learn well in suffering; some such as myself, struggle but yet learn:  Thanks be to God. 

Pain and suffering after a certain extent of its pummeling good, is quite effective in humbling to even the humility of exhaustion.  There seems nothing remaining but God alone.  And this is only the beginning of what is positive potential of God's All, all the more to our increased and ever more increasing nothingness.

When others do not understand this, and when those without knowledge or coursework or hypocritically claim authenticity, or as if promulgating: who is this or not that, legal or not legal, authorized or not, it is only that their paths of learning in soul school differ or are in other-pace and trajectory, or that they have not yet come to grasp some part of all the lessons of mind, heart, and spirit our souls are here on earth to learn.  We are all in soul school here, learning in varying earth-timeliness and modalities.

And not to worry, if souls do not learn what it is we are to learn on earth--particularly learn to love and the various virtues such as graciousness, kindness, and humility.  Our souls will and must, simply yet incontestably, continue to learn what is not learned here.  When we pass over from temporal life to fully spiritual life, we continue our unique yet also universal soul-learning in what some have termed as "purgatory"--as a phase in eternal life of which we are purged of that which hindered us here and we did not learn to overcome or to embrace of what is necessary for great purity and light, to unite with God fully, as One.

I consider Sr. Josefa in her little cell, sewing clothing for children the convent sisters were helping, and while sewing in the solitary confinement, she suffered as Jesus' beloved victim soul, and she was far from alone despite the misguided intentions of her Mother Superior.  Her seeming isolation, yes, caused intrigue and gossip among the other sisters, but Sr. Josefa prepared by the guidance of Jesus and Mary, in her various passings, until her physical passing over once and for all from this earth, no longer relegated to a physical body or a physical cell in a distant corner of a convent in France.

She's rather ideal for this consecrated Catholic hermit, with the added sufferings physical and whatever otherwise, and in this phase of added unknowings of passings over.  God bless Josefa Menendez!  God thank her for her life and humble example of hidden nothingness and bearing suffering and misguidedly, misunderstood persecutions of all types!  God bless Josefa's human imperfections of which she was the first to note, as well!

And God bless His Real Presence in us here and beyond here, in the there that is eternal light and bliss!

Catholic Hermit Returns to Painting and Pondering: Topics

Well, so what?  It is just that this morning I read II Corinthians Chapter 9 and wrote another bit about it, relating it to a friend's life as Day Four of a birthday novena using "9" not only as novena but for 90 years of life.

And then I responded to some readers' inquiries as to how to become a Catholic hermit by reposting an updated post that explains in what I consider to be boring detail, how to become a Catholic hermit in the ways most people who discern a call to the hermit life are desiring--that kind of information, more of what is written in the Church documents, institutes, and canon laws.  And that all as formed from the traditional hermits, historically, over the centuries.

So then I got my pain-riddled body off the mattress and got some "gumption" (a word my mother used with emphasis on several occasions to spur us on in whatever tasks), and I headed out to sand and wipe with tack cloth, pieces of window trim.  Then I got a clean paint brush and painted the first trim coat on the boards, trying my very best for God, omnia pro Deo--all for God.  I try to make it all smooth-looking, although an old farmhouse hermitage offers much leeway in the way of exterior perfection.

While painting the boards, I realized my whole affect had altered from how the mind, heart and soul felt and perceived the gorgeous day, as it was reflected in the two pieces of writing I'd done earlier.

I considered once more the saints, the mystic saints in particular, and I realized Teresa of Avila and John of the Cross and Padre Pio never really wrote about the technicalities of the laws of men, the laws of the temporal Church but rather wrote of the matters of God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit, or of Mary and especially of Scriptures and the ascent to God and the law of God which is the law of love.

My heart tends to sing when writing of such as these mystics wrote; and my heart stutters like an unwilling, clogged transmission when I slog through the temporal and more technical matters, although I admit it is what at some point in my hermit discernment, I became aware of and read what the Church has written and decided upon, for not only the religious orders in the Consecrated Life of the Church but for the hermits and virgins and widows and various other categories of people who are avowed and professed and part of the Consecrated Life of the Catholic Church.

On occasion, as in yearly, I review the Church's requirements for a consecrated hermit and renew my vows once again privately, and in the past four years or so I have done so without renewing them with a priest as witness--as Christ is my witness in the silence of solitude here, these days and months and years.

So all the parameters and guidelines and the basics of vowing to live the three evangelical counsels, and to live the hermit life in the ways suggested and set forth in the church documents (cited in the posts such as the one reposted this morning)--all these are helpful in guiding and developing the structure, so to speak, of a hermit's daily life, both in temporal and spiritual ways.

But again the mystic saints come to mind, and it is as if John of the Cross is calling to me to free the mind, heart and soul for the ascent to union with God, and to write more of that process and of what trials and events occur in the temporal and mystical realms along the way!  It is to live the life of Christ in us, and to live in following what He teaches in the Living Word, and to then add the structural elements of whatever vocation that God has chosen for us in which we are to traverse this life we are living here on earth.

When I think on these things, and ponder Scripture, and when I commune with God in the silence even if my hands hold a can of paint and a brush and the shoulders are moving the arm in brush strokes--my soul is elevated once more and rejoices in God my Savior!  I emit flashing silent words of love and joy and delight in the Holy Spirit and in Jesus Christ my Beloved Spouse!

And even if the temporal bodily pain calls me back to the mattress for a lunch break and a bit more writing to clear the clogged transmission that occurred with the other writing that is basic, yes, but nothing to dwell upon as other than as a brief check-list of what can assist a hermit to live the vows professed and to then climb the holy mountain as God leads the soul forth, in His ways, His timing, and His providential omniscience.

God bless His Real Presence in us, and I am pleased that some readers recently have inquired about a hermit's life of solitude.  That may provide a topic with which to sing about the silence of solitude in contemplation, or the silence of solitude in time-speckles of union with the Spouse.

Catholic Hermit Consoled, Uplifted: Zephaniah Speaks

Today's alternate first Scripture reading at Mass uplifts this pained and worn out nothing consecrated Catholic hermit (and mystic--of which no labels matter but am hoping to normalize the term for those who hold misguided notions).

Zephaniah speaks!  I take it to heart, and his words uplift my soul and encourage.  Then I, in turn, can uplift and encourage others in my thoughts and prayers.  

Perhaps, also, will uplift and encourage the young man, Daniel, who is coming today from a distance.  He will help lift some drywall to install and help frame the stairwell opening wall.  Here he comes for the day, and just payment, from a distance which is a bother, this young man of the Church of the Nazarene; and the close-by Catholic youth is too busy playing basketball presumably day and night, to help me for twenty minutes, according to his wary-of-me parish administrator mother.  No help, not for love nor money nor both.

Deus vult!  The Lord wills it!  He often wills what we do not understand, what does not make common sense to us.  And I am reminded to not dissect nor analyze other than to trust that Jesus knows what He is doing, and He is allowing the one young man and not the other.  I am to praise the Lord and follow Him, just go along with whatever transpires in the present moments.

"Be glad and exult with all your heart...
the LORD has removed the judgment against you,
He has turned away your enemies;
The King of Israel, the LORD, is in your midst,
you have no further misfortune to fear.....
Fear not...be not discouraged!
The LORD, your God, is in your midst,
a mighty savior;
He will rejoice over you with gladness,
and renew you in His love...."
        --from Zephaniah 3

I am hoping to get a few more Christmas cards out in the mail before Daniel arrives.  Plus, I'd like to paint the laundry area baseboards that I cut and primed yesterday.  This morning I realized I need to remeasure and recut after I screw on the dryer socket plate cover.  As Teresa of Avila said that God is amidst the pots and pans, He is surely also amidst the carpentry details.

Upon waking I was first reminded of the vision dream over 21 years ago on the eve of my confirmation as a Roman Catholic.  I was shown a seemingly endless passageway made of flat stones--pathway, walls, rooms on either side of Gothic arched hallway.  I was shown into some of the rooms and was let known that I could enter, study, learn, be taught and then move on through the passageway.  I did not need to stop at every room; but I was to proceed.

Now I must trust in what is next, in what area of passageway or through and into another.  I do not see now, the doorways to rooms, right and left, nor do I see the arches or down the length of passage.  I only see the stones paving the ground upon which I must try to keep walking onward in blind faith yet knowing in that same faith that the Lord is leading with loving assurance.

It is all very good indeed in the soul and spirit.  My body is weary, true; and the way forward may seem rugged simply and solely in the temporal aspects.  My only effort is to flow onward through space and time while sensing the Lord with me, in my midst...but actually my being in His Midst.

"The LORD, your God, is in your midst, a might savior...."

Catholic Hermit: Reminder from St. Teresa of Avila

This, on pain and suffering from the great saint, Teresa of Avila:

"Make no account of any pain which has an end if by means of it any greater service can be rendered to Him Who bore such pains for us.  Always try to find out wherein lies the greatest perfection.  And for the love of the Lord I beg you to beseech His Majesty to hear us in this: I, miserable creature though I am, beseech this of his Majesty, since it is for His glory and the good of His Church, which are my only wishes." (from The Way of Perfection)

While out picking more produce for the roadside table, I considered St. Teresa of Avila and how she came to a point in her life, in her early 50's or a bit later, in which she had to divorce herself from a bad "marriage"--that is, the prison in which she had jailed herself with the other religious sisters who had remained at one level or even stepped backwards on the Stairway to Heaven.

St. Teresa felt the God-pivot deep within.  She immediately made efforts to change her imprisonment by which she herself had entertained rather pointless chit-chat, considering her profession of vows and place in the Consecrated Life of the Church in a religious community.  What ensued is a strong reminder of the good that can come when we God-pivot in major ways, as needed sometimes in our spiritual and temporal lives.

The devil used many of her religious sisters as pawns.  They lashed out at Teresa, and eventually she left to form the Discalced Carmelites--a more true-to-their-vows and the spiritual life, than what her sisters had remained (or become).

Some may find this harsh.  Why did she not try to just "go along to get along"?

Well, God instilled an awakening in her, causing a major God-pivot of her soul as well as her daily interactions and purposes.  She realized the artistry of her vocation and the artistry of the soul.  Most know the end of this story.  St. Teresa reformed the Carmelites, and within a few years, she revitalized the very monastery of which she had previously been forced to flee (for her safety and sanity!)  When she returned to "shape it up"  and "step it up" to a higher level of spiritual aspiration, many sisters were shaken and resistant to change, to God-pivoting.

Did she miss the "old life"?  No.  Do I?  No.  I do not at all miss the phone conversations with a relative who had difficulty not detracting her mother, to a point of obsession.  At various times in the past several years, I would explain detraction. I recall one time putting my foot down and saying I WILL NOT participate nor listen to it.  I worked hard at changing the subject that inevitably would surface: her mother and all the criticisms and annoyances incumbent.  

Then I tried a psychological ploy of mirroring the one obsessed with dislike of her mother.  I mirrored her feelings enough to gain comfort level from her, and then I would try to shift the conversation, shift the dislike and hatred to the positives.  Did not work.

Then I myself slipped into this rough situation in living conditions, and my conversation was of that or of pain, to a nauseating point of obsession (or so I thus accuse myself, which I suspect is not far off the mark).  When relatives or friends might call to inquire of progress I was making with all the work to be done, I'd slide right into the complaining about this or that, or who had cheated me or taken advantage, or what the latest incompetence and lies.  I also at times would have positives to report, for I truly did recognize my stuck-ness, the discouragement, the negativity of my plight.

Was nothing others needed to hear, read, or discuss.  It was not elevating others nor myself.  I even knew it at the time; but it has taken a major God-pivot reality to have me sick of my own self, of my own weakness and imprisonment.  Just this afternoon, the spinal headache has risen, and I beat back the thoughts that I cannot possibly finish the place.  Then I noticed something I'd not noticed before that may need to be re-done, and I have no means to re-do it.  Must simply let it go.  It is temporal, after all.

For a consecrated Catholic hermit to step up the vocational purpose and progress, I thank St. Teresa for the reminder not only of pain but also of how she had to free herself from the prison she had allowed herself to remain.  Had she been a lay person, and if I were not a hermit, avowed and professed these nearly 16 years, one with all others who are part of the Consecrated Life of the Church, it would not be such an obvious necessity to God-pivot.

Was it not just yesterday's Scripture at Mass that states:  To those who have been given much, much is expected?  Teresa of Avila had professed vows as a Carmelite.  I have professed vows as a Catholic hermit.  We are given much responsibility, and our fulfilling our vows and consecrated state of life, requires repeatedly our stepping up to the next level of the Stairway to Heaven.

We cannot remain behind or fall behind.  We cannot consider how "rude" it might seem or how "unkind" if we move on and leave off with what remains at whatever level or step of others.  If we can by our stepping up, influence or encourage others to come along with us:  Praise God!  If our God-pivot is too much for them to at this time embrace and follow, then we accept the mantle of God-pivoting ourselves, and pray for those to whom we bid adieu, at least temporarily.

As is written in Scripture:  Let the dead bury their dead.

We must never lose faith in our prayers for others and that the Lord is looking out for all souls.  Others, no doubt, have had to bid adieu to us at times, just as Teresa had to bid adieu to her fellow religious sisters when she fled for her life from the Monastery of the Incarnation.  Mercy! I wonder if she even had the time or circumstance to "bid adieu"--but rather had to escape their anger...and all over simply her realizing that she had to God-pivot and step up to the next level on the Stairway to Heaven.

Even among fellow religious or fellow hermits or even among the laity, God-pivoting on the part of one person can stir the devil in others.  Or, it can inspire others, too; God-pivoting will sooner or later create a good cause and effect.  We must trust God in all of that, while we keep our bodies, minds, hearts and spirits focused on getting to the next step, keeping our balance, steadying ourselves, and then on and up to the next and the next.

Such is the rule of thumb on airplanes with oxygen masks.  The adults are told to get their mask securely in place and then deal with placing an oxygen mask on their children.  Those who grasp and see, finally, that a God-pivot is needed at least in his- or her own life must God-pivot, including all that means of relationships being shaken or circumstances altered.  Then, if others are interested and respond, more can be discussed of the spiritual life and of what ensues of the next step.

If we are honest and humble enough, we also might note that others will actually be relieved in the change of relating.  Either they will drop by the wayside and not enjoy communicating if not in the habitual way or of remaining stuck; or they will themselves feel free from the spiritual turning such as this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit must live and do, breathe and be.

Had my health permitted my finishing my second doctorate (in clinical psychology), it would only be right for me to counsel others indefinitely on temporal issues and problems.  But I am a consecrated Catholic hermit; my call is of the spiritual realm.  As such I must be available first to His Real Presence and then to those who seek the spiritual as well as in whatever temporary day-to-day issues--by relating all to the spiritual.  I must not get caught up in nor catch up others in:  too much temporal!  Not good for any soul to be thus stuck!

God-pivot!  Step up to the next stair or more.  Climb the Stairway to Heaven.  Don't dally and don't step back.

Spiritual Reading, Spiritual Progress, Suffering

 "It was fitting that God, for whom and through whom all things exist, in bringing many children to glory, should make the pioneer of their salvation perfect through sufferings" (from Hebrews, Chapter 1). 

This Scripture, from one of this hermit's favorite books of the Bible, spoke sensible reminder this morning, regarding suffering.  Am in such pain!  And while Jesus is the pioneer of our salvation through His sufferings, we bear our sufferings through, with, and in His Real Presence--the Trinity in us, deep in our souls.

Must have stood too long in one spot, rolling the dozens of St. Bernard Love of God Bourbon Balls the other day, despite breaking the efforts into three segments of time, including one segment the night before.  Then yesterday made a first and second batch of Fortitude Fudge and for the first time used the new stove.

Too tired to drive the distance to the post office, but figured out how to schedule a pick up here at the hermitage.  At first, when trying to schedule on line, kept getting a message that the address did not match their records.   Called the post office, and a kindly postal worker took the information, said this has never happened before, would research and call back.

When she called a short time later, she informed that this nothing Catholic hermit (did not refer to me as such, of course) had its own address wrong!  So, explaining the chronic pain was wrestling for top spot in the brain, she took pity and repeated the address so this nothing could write it down.  Have been here nearly two years.  Ah, the ravages of pain.

Today am resting, obviously.  But am reflecting upon the phone book discussion with the young spiritual friend, thousands of miles away.  She has come to the recognition that what the author writes is ultra-intellectual and wordy, and the extended quotes of St. Teresa are more understandable than all the words and explanations of the late author.  Nothing hermit chuckled and admitted it had felt that way, too.  

But we agreed that for those who perhaps had no background at all in the spiritual life nor in the lives of two great saints, the book might be helpful and all the explanations--those of the saints and those of the late author trying to better explain what the saints explain--might be just what those readers need.  The young, married woman and mother did add that her spiritual director said last time they met, that reading St. Teresa's Way of Perfection is next.

Yes.  Why is it that some priests or ourselves (and perhaps mostly us) think we cannot make sense of what the saints write, and thus turn to books that interfere with the one-on-one relationship we could have directly with the saint and his or her own thoughts, put down in writing and available centuries after their earthly passings?

When trying to locate what the late great Adolphe Tanquerey wrote about fortitude, in his section on virtues, in his excellent book The Spiritual Life: A Treatise on Ascetical and Mystical Theology--came upon a section had forgotten.  He writes specifically on spiritual direction as well as why have a rule of life, and what ought be included.  Plus, he advises that we select only the best of the books to read, written by the saints themselves, as well as the Scriptures, of course.

There is always good to be found in books written by others trying to explain what the saints wrote and meant and taught.  And so the young friend and the nothing Catholic hermit, discussed what stood out from St. Teresa's "mansions" metaphor to describe aspects of the soul's progression through prayer, through the purgative (senses), illuminative (mind), and into the unitive (soul united with God) way.

She was uncertain how a person in the 7th mansion--having experienced not only the betrothal but ultimately the mystical marriage, union with the Divine, could still have temptations to despair, struggles, ups and downs.  St. Teresa's excellent description proved useful in answering.  She explains it is like a king who is in his palace, on his throne, secure in his position as king of the kingdom.  

Yet out in the kingdom there can be battles raging, and chaos and despair, hardships and trials swirling about.  (The king might even be called to leave his palace to help fight the foes.)  But all the while, the king is either physically in his palace or otherwise secure in knowing he is the king, and that his chair and seat of power remains secure, as depicted by his throne in the palace.

It is for souls, as well, when the various phases are passed, and the soul has experienced much, including betrothal and some form of raptures and then mystical marriage or union.  Even in the mystical marriage and union, there will be struggles.  One week could be great temptations to despair; the next week there could be blissful peace.  

However, the soul when in this "mansion" or phase of the spiritual life, has arrived at the great and firm awareness that His Real Presence, the Trinity, has made His abode in the soul and remains there, no matter what.  The soul knows this despite battles raging in its daily life, or even battering right up to the "walls" of the soul itself.  Yet, the Trinity, His Real Presence, remains constant and fills the inner sanctum of the soul.

For this nothing Catholic hermit, the reminder has proven encouraging and powerful.  We can judge ourselves (beyond what others may enjoy judging of us) for backsliding or not progressing spiritually.  Shouldn't we have blissful existences, all be a bed of roses, have constantly beaming faces--when we come to union with His Real Presence while yet on earth?

Not so, at least not all the time or even often.  Maybe people think that would be the case, and judge others (or we castigate ourselves) if we do not come to such existence.  In fact, Teresa reminds that if we have what she calls raptures, eventually they can subside.  She explains they occur when the mind fears the unknown, and when His Real Presence takes the soul away with Him for periods of time, in a unitive bliss, yes, it stems from protecting the soul in a way, from such ecstatic love experience with the Divine.  When the soul gradually loses that fear and is more accustomed to His Real Presence in direct embraces of the soul, the raptures may dwindle and sometimes cease altogether.

This, too, is reassuring to nothing Catholic hermit.  There is renewed courage.  And as for salvation being perfected through sufferings--the pioneer of perfecting our salvation through sufferings--we know that all we suffer on this earth is purifying fire, perfecting, when united with His sufferings.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, for God Is Love!

[Not sure why sometimes the text is on white background rather than the blog post background.  Kind of visually annoying, but what is that little outer battle compared to His Real Presence having His Abode in us?]

Aha and Ha Ha!

After listening to music of amazing singers on internet, which after awhile realized not necessary and wasted time, began what thought would be the skimming and scanning of the next chapters in the book the young spiritual friend and this nothing Catholic hermit are reading, per her spiritual director's recommendation.

Was figuring it would continue to go on and on with tertiary-source wordage by the author, after his reading of the two saints' primary source writings and then the secondary source research and writings of the past, per the saints' writings.

But an "aha" moment met the eyes, mind, and heart in the first paragraph in the next chapters we had agreed upon to read, and then laughter.  The ha-ha-ha is on this hermit, and in a fun and good way, for His Real Presence (and no doubt the late author of this book on John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila, and maybe the saints themselves) were letting this nothing here know would not want to skim or scan further.

Actually, what the late author of the book writes of the saints contains details this nothing had stuffed too far back in to recall.  Marvelous it is to now recall them--encouraging and inspiring.  Have more tidbits to relate with regarding their daily lives, and am reminded of the great kinship with them, and the personality linkage, too, here and there.

Plus, what he writes based upon what other authors had researched and learned of these two saints, is helpful, too.  So am reading contextually and fully engaged.  Now must make up for lost time and catch up!  Thought could just skim or scan it this morning, and be on point.  Yet even that was all right in a humbling way, very good.  Had to rely on the friend to do the talking and pointing out, even though she wanted this nothing to comment, particularly on the chapter of their mystical experiences.  But no, was not prepared, and how laughable yet instructive, all this!  Aha and ha, ha, ha.

One thing that stands out of just a minor point:  the late author confuses mystics with contemplatives.  He comments that Teresa of Avila became spiritual director to her own father and her brother, and that they each ended up being mystics.  It is just a confusion of term definition, but it seems worth explaining.  Mystics are born as mystics; it is nothing one can learn or become.  Contemplatives is the word the author no doubt meant.  

Everyone is called to be a contemplative and can learn and grow into more contemplative prayer and natures, even if not all will receive the same graces or levels of contemplative prayer.  At a certain point, union with God is His choice, timing, and doing.  He desires it for all of us, though, and we can and ought desire and grow toward His desire and will for us into contemplation of His Real Presence.

If make the space in the daily life to re-read the excellent book by scholar David Knowles, Mystics and Mysticism, can clarify better the difference between mystics and contemplatives.  Even mystics ought learn contemplation.  While they may be disposed instinctively toward it, they are not born contemplatives but are born as mystics.  There are mystics who conceivably might not be contemplatives in life, although like all of us, they should desire and strive in contemplation.

All in all, it is so marvelous that His Real Presence and the late author of the book now reading, and the saints themselves, and perhaps some of the authors who provided secondary source research for the third-source late author, have shown this nothing Catholic hermit not to assume a thing about books or style of writing.  Yes, Teresa of Avila tended to write at length, herself.  An interesting tidbit gleaned today in reading is that she said she wished she could write with a pen in both hands; the thoughts came to her that fast and wished to get them all down.

An Episcopalian spiritual friend many years ago wrote saying he could not stand reading Teresa of Avila's writings because she would go on and on in one topic and then lose the trail and head off in another direction, writing on and on, sometimes not returning to her original points.  Also, the sisters of St. Teresa's discalced Carmelite convent, well into the reform, asked John of the Cross to write an explanation of his three spiritually profound poems.  (Yes, what some think are books, like Dark Night of the Soul, are actually poems.)  So he wrote a few hundred pages explaining the meaning of the poems, which combined account for a few pages (depending upon print and if in verse and stanza format).   

The aha and ha ha ha are on this nothing Catholic hermit!  Love it!  Happy reading!  Will love it, too.  Still tiny print and oodles of words, but the information can be helpful and useful in various aspects.  At least the late author is by no means a bloviator.  Bloviating is something all writers should avoid.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another.

Temporal Efforts, Pain; Spiritual Efforts, God Works!

Well, the back is still very tricky with pain.  Had to over do because somehow the internet server went caput on Saturday.  Another server was available, also somehow, but it is a weak and intermittent signal.  Slow, but slowness is one of the Nine S'.  Good for it!

But had to go up and down the stairs several times, doing things that two Comcast techs each said to do with router and modem, then back up where is this bed--the only place to sit or recline in the place--and where the laptop is kept, usually under covers to keep safe from crud and construction stuff.

Am praising His Real Presence that could cancel a doctor appointment made when thought a sinus infection and bad, right kidney!  Buddy the Back has provided some variety and a new set of symptoms.  What a lovely thing, rather than the same old symptoms.  

Each couple of years there are new ones when back sieges take hold.  A couple years ago it was intestinal problems, which still occur, but are, yes, radiating back pain.  Did not have that this time other than once.  Instead, kidney area and inner ear problems, and always the awful, sickening back pain, going down the legs and up and down the spine, and the always headache.

Took longer to get online to check news so as to pray for people with REAL troubles, far worse than the little piddling stuff here, although friends repeatedly say the build up of odd occurrences as well as more typical obstacles is NOT NORMAL.

Now the printer will not work with this other server, so am praying the new router and modem they are sending, will be what the printer will "find."  It took hours with the printer help line a couple months ago, when the printer would not set up to do the labels for the St. Bernard Love of God Bourbon Balls. That was when the laptop was not working properly. Well, probably wrote about that series of obstacles, ending in sending the love balls to the place that ordered them, using homespun, hand-printed labels which the folks placing the order said was all right that time, "in a pinch."

Francisco did not show up last Friday, the day before the back gave out fully.  And he has not responded to inquiry calls.  Yet the week before Francisco did come, and together we built the landing in preparation for new stairs.  Mark the electrician will come on Wednesday, unless am yet prone on this twin bed in here.  He will assist with some framing of walls, unless the back allows this nothing to do it tomorrow.  And all depends upon His Real Presence and what He wills and allows.

It all must go in a flow, and all comes to be seen according to God's will.  

The daughter called, and it was good that this nothing had not burdened her this time with the pain siege. Yes, nothing remembered what the spiritual father had reminded the other night:  She has her own troubles.  For sure, and it is part of our loving and serving others and dying to self to develop empathy and understanding, even if we might think their troubles would not such troubles to us.  

They would be just as troublesome to us if not more so.  For we must learn to view from inside others, and with their years and experiences, and their personalities and degree of learned coping mechanisms, and also their faith understanding and progression spiritually.  Factoring in these aspects, if we were in someone else's body, mind and emotions, yes, they would be troubles enough to us, also, and then some.

That is what this nothing has learned very much over the years, when people do not see the pain in this bodily frame, nor grasp what happens when pain is constant and waxes and wanes but never runs dry.  "Just take pills!"  "Surely there is something that can be done!"  "Go to a pain clinic!"  Well, all has been tried, and no, there is nothing that can be done. 

Persevere and endure:  perdure, even. Turn to His Real Presence more and more and then more!  Praise!  Pray! And keep busy!  Consider the good in all situations.  These can be done; they help.  Faith, hope, and love.  Offer it all up as prayer.  (Remember once a priest who asked this nothing lump of suffering, "Why suffering?"  This nothing replied, "Because it works!"  Yes, all things of God--God works like nothing else can or does.  God Is Love.  Love works!

So we keep striving in His Real Presence, in all manner of strivings, to love and serve others.  Prayer is a loving service, and also is not being a burden to those who are tired of a burden (like someone's pain sieges).  So, for example, this nothing engaged in asking and have genuine interest in the daughters' college students, the plans for the quarter, and the little grandson, of course.  Will ever try to be as others would like, as long as it also pleases His Real Presence.  

Concern, caring, love, and service as much as one can--being encouraging and expressing what a good job someone is doing in rearing a child and teaching adults, and relating with a husband:  it is all love and service and within what God desires, His will.  But cannot change the spiritual within.

For that, a young woman called today; and tomorrow will be a discussion on a book her spiritual director recommended on John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila.  No, it is not one to which this nothing gravitates, although had it for years, unread.  Can skim and scan it, though.  

Otherwise too many words like empty calories through which to chew and digest, of a late author's second- and third-person takes and interpolations of what the first-persons wrote from their hearts and minds initially.  Just prefer (this nothing does...) to read straight from the saints' pens.  But this time, it is love and service to read what the young friend wants and is supposed to read.  In reading the first chapters have benefitted in re-meeting the weariness of wordiness.  Is a  tiresome habit personally too close to this home-hermitage and nothing hermit: wordiness.   

With that, will close.  If anything of worth or assistance to anyone in your own lives, of all these words, praise God!  God bless His Real Presence in us, as always!

Who to Believe?

This morning awoke quite early in much pain.  Then the pain of the mind, heart and soul inched up, too.  However, returned to Scriptures and then praying the Divine Office.  Noticed in Office of Readings, St. Cyprian has much to share about renouncing the world!

Then a friend sent an email with a homily on the same topic, with some quotes from Theresa of Jesus (St. Theresa of Avila).

In a phone conversation the day before Thanksgiving, this nothing Catholic hermit mentioned to an older priest, some of what St. John Climacus writes.  The priest responded that it sounded "too hard." 

Since then, have reflected upon what others of our time have written, suggesting that we need a softer church, or that some theology is passe, or that we don't need to take the spiritual life so seriously, or be likable and relatable, removed from controversy, just get along, no matter.

But then Fr. V. writes from Africa, expressing quite soundly, that by this stage in the nothing Catholic hermit's spiritual journey, it ought to well know that the world holds nothing good for it.  He wrote more, and some reminding this hermit to let go of those who have hurt or caused problems relative to the temporal world.  Plus, to not ignore nor diminish the constant efforts of the devil trying to disrupt the hermit in any way possible.  Fr. V. added that perhaps this taking lightly the force and trickery of the devil may be the American culture in not understanding, but to learn to--at every turn-- rebuke the devil and say, "Get behind me, Satan!"

Anyway, who does one believe, and what does one believe, regarding spiritual guidance, teaching, and paths?  Can these saints, who left writings for us, be out-dated in their content, guidance, and life examples?  Do people's souls and the trials of their souls somehow change over the centuries?  Do the tenets of the spiritual climb up the holy mountain need to change, also?  Does the devil change?  Does the narrow path, the narrow gate, of which Jesus speaks, no longer need be narrow--or not that narrow, now, in our enlightened century?

Do we quibble with Teresa of Avila or John Climacus, or John of the Cross or Therese of Lisieux and discount the seeming hardness of their advice and their paths by which they successfully came to sanctification--including much suffering and also much self-discipline?  Was St. Therese of Lisieux rather warped when she wrote of offering herself as a holocaust, as a victim soul of love, to Jesus, vowing to suffer all in helping Jesus save souls?  Are we in some new age of greater theological knowledge and understanding, such that we have outgrown what may seem too narrow or too hard?

Or, do we listen to the likes of St. John Climacus who warns to not pay attention to those who try to soften the lessons, who try to say the world's allures are not a snare, who bring up various points in order to try to convince us that we are deluded and deceived by old ways not at all necessary or even advised for today's Christian?

This nothing Catholic hermit considered the same older priest who awhile ago lamented and questioned why priests and bishops in general, today, do not have the powers to heal and to work miracles, that Jesus' first priests, the Apostles, were given.  He even said why aren't more Catholics imbued with spiritual gifts, as well?

Perhaps it has to do with that attitude expressed in the recent conversation, regarding the guidance of John Climacus:  "sounds too hard."  

When we read the very words of Jesus Christ in Scripture, or of the apostles, we do not read that the way is broad and easy.  We do not read that we ought embrace the ways of the world, or to soften the Church.  St. Paul made his words quite stringent when chastising the laxities already occurring in the early churches.  We people just can't seem to take what we are told by God Himself, and at last try to stop thinking on things of this realm and to think on that which is above, of the spiritual realm, of heaven.

We seem to have fallen into many of the snares that John Climacus and others warn against.  Even in his advice on despondency, Climacus goes against what we may think so wonderful, in going out and about trying to rescue others, when in fact we are the blind trying to lead the blind.

But that status can change.  And it seems to this nothing Catholic hermit, that when it has done what is not advised by these saints of old, even down to some specific aspects, that there are pitfalls and a falling away from the power and strength and love in His Real Presence.  When, such as this morning this hermit returns to what is advised, and does not shrink from prayer, and does not doubt or allow itself to be influenced by others who have titles or seem to have much knowledge, the hermit's soul, heart, mind, and body fare far better.

Fr. V. advised in his strong message of staying with the saints and of the Scriptures, and to renounce that which is not helpful.  In stating that the world has nothing good nor lasting nor soul-satisfying to offer this soul (or any soul), he includes the temporal church as being caught up, also, in the world.  But he adds that there are some worthy Christians who yet stand in contradiction to the world that is reflected in aspects of today's temporal Church.  

Let us be of those worthy.  Let us not shrink from what "sounds too hard," too harsh, seems old-fashioned or out-dated, or not sophisticated in the temptation of delicious, intricate and tantalizingly intelligent words.  Let us read the words in Scripture and heed.  Let us consider as a successful guide, some saint of yore whose life lived and words written have helped countless souls over the centuries.  Let us believe those who dared not diminish that which was given to them to share with others: encouragements and wisdoms in actually walking through the narrow gate and along the narrow path.  

Let us pick up the cross daily of which Jesus speaks and offers us.  Let us follow Him, as He asks us to follow in His footsteps.  Where does He lead?  "Quo vadis?" Jesus asked Peter.  Where, again, did Jesus go?  By what way?

Well, where are we going and by what way and in what means?  Who do we follow?  To whom do we listen?  Who do we believe of those who have lived and journeyed as Christians, who might help guide us with assurance that we will arrive for the heavenly reward?

Even in seeking a contemporary, a living spiritual guide or father in this life, we must ask questions. We must listen to the comments and make observations.  If the narrow path is deemed too hard, then perhaps we need to seek one who embraces more the reality of that which espouses and produces actual and heavenly results?