Well, the back is still very tricky with pain. Had to over do because somehow the internet server went caput on Saturday. Another server was available, also somehow, but it is a weak and intermittent signal. Slow, but slowness is one of the Nine S'. Good for it!
But had to go up and down the stairs several times, doing things that two Comcast techs each said to do with router and modem, then back up where is this bed--the only place to sit or recline in the place--and where the laptop is kept, usually under covers to keep safe from crud and construction stuff.
Am praising His Real Presence that could cancel a doctor appointment made when thought a sinus infection and bad, right kidney! Buddy the Back has provided some variety and a new set of symptoms. What a lovely thing, rather than the same old symptoms.
Each couple of years there are new ones when back sieges take hold. A couple years ago it was intestinal problems, which still occur, but are, yes, radiating back pain. Did not have that this time other than once. Instead, kidney area and inner ear problems, and always the awful, sickening back pain, going down the legs and up and down the spine, and the always headache.
Took longer to get online to check news so as to pray for people with REAL troubles, far worse than the little piddling stuff here, although friends repeatedly say the build up of odd occurrences as well as more typical obstacles is NOT NORMAL.
Now the printer will not work with this other server, so am praying the new router and modem they are sending, will be what the printer will "find." It took hours with the printer help line a couple months ago, when the printer would not set up to do the labels for the St. Bernard Love of God Bourbon Balls. That was when the laptop was not working properly. Well, probably wrote about that series of obstacles, ending in sending the love balls to the place that ordered them, using homespun, hand-printed labels which the folks placing the order said was all right that time, "in a pinch."
Francisco did not show up last Friday, the day before the back gave out fully. And he has not responded to inquiry calls. Yet the week before Francisco did come, and together we built the landing in preparation for new stairs. Mark the electrician will come on Wednesday, unless am yet prone on this twin bed in here. He will assist with some framing of walls, unless the back allows this nothing to do it tomorrow. And all depends upon His Real Presence and what He wills and allows.
It all must go in a flow, and all comes to be seen according to God's will.
The daughter called, and it was good that this nothing had not burdened her this time with the pain siege. Yes, nothing remembered what the spiritual father had reminded the other night: She has her own troubles. For sure, and it is part of our loving and serving others and dying to self to develop empathy and understanding, even if we might think their troubles would not such troubles to us.
They would be just as troublesome to us if not more so. For we must learn to view from inside others, and with their years and experiences, and their personalities and degree of learned coping mechanisms, and also their faith understanding and progression spiritually. Factoring in these aspects, if we were in someone else's body, mind and emotions, yes, they would be troubles enough to us, also, and then some.
That is what this nothing has learned very much over the years, when people do not see the pain in this bodily frame, nor grasp what happens when pain is constant and waxes and wanes but never runs dry. "Just take pills!" "Surely there is something that can be done!" "Go to a pain clinic!" Well, all has been tried, and no, there is nothing that can be done.
Persevere and endure: perdure, even. Turn to His Real Presence more and more and then more! Praise! Pray! And keep busy! Consider the good in all situations. These can be done; they help. Faith, hope, and love. Offer it all up as prayer. (Remember once a priest who asked this nothing lump of suffering, "Why suffering?" This nothing replied, "Because it works!" Yes, all things of God--God works like nothing else can or does. God Is Love. Love works!
So we keep striving in His Real Presence, in all manner of strivings, to love and serve others. Prayer is a loving service, and also is not being a burden to those who are tired of a burden (like someone's pain sieges). So, for example, this nothing engaged in asking and have genuine interest in the daughters' college students, the plans for the quarter, and the little grandson, of course. Will ever try to be as others would like, as long as it also pleases His Real Presence.
Concern, caring, love, and service as much as one can--being encouraging and expressing what a good job someone is doing in rearing a child and teaching adults, and relating with a husband: it is all love and service and within what God desires, His will. But cannot change the spiritual within.
For that, a young woman called today; and tomorrow will be a discussion on a book her spiritual director recommended on John of the Cross and Teresa of Avila. No, it is not one to which this nothing gravitates, although had it for years, unread. Can skim and scan it, though.
Otherwise too many words like empty calories through which to chew and digest, of a late author's second- and third-person takes and interpolations of what the first-persons wrote from their hearts and minds initially. Just prefer (this nothing does...) to read straight from the saints' pens. But this time, it is love and service to read what the young friend wants and is supposed to read. In reading the first chapters have benefitted in re-meeting the weariness of wordiness. Is a tiresome habit personally too close to this home-hermitage and nothing hermit: wordiness.
With that, will close. If anything of worth or assistance to anyone in your own lives, of all these words, praise God! God bless His Real Presence in us, as always!
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