Christian Catholic Mystic Hermit: Progression of Mind, Heart, and Soul in His Mystical Church

So many concerns for the people of Ukraine, including the brave soldiers and civilians fighting for the freedom of their country.  I pray also for the Russian soldiers who are forced by brainwashed upbringing, as well as those conscripted, into fighting to kill others in another country, mercilessly.  I ask His Real Presence to please stop Vladimir Putin and those around him, for their horrific behaviors and decisions of invading another country.

It's Lent, and my body now also has besides the sinus infection that continues at end of fourth week, with sawdust having scratched my left eye.  I need prayers to cope with the pain of what the ophthalmologist says are scratches and a contusion.  I realize that His Real Presence allows my injured eye to be a reminder that I am to be seeing all, at least for now, with inner eye. 

While I'm unable to get a second zpack to finish pushing out the sinus infection, I found when I went to pharmacy to get the ointment and antibiotic drops for the eye, that the young GP had at least sent a prescription for some nasal spray.  I have two OTC sprays I've been using, but I'll give this hopefully stronger type a try. I've called the ophthalmologist office to find out what they recommend for the pain of left eye.  When there, the doctor had put numbing drops in the eye, but that wore off after a couple hours.  Boo hoo hoo.  Actually, praise God as have more to offer as pain prayer for many intentions, particularly the raging war going on in Ukraine.  God please convert Putin's soul, and other souls, as well.

I've written to Fr. V. asking what he thinks of my thoughts on the church as passageway, the temporal on to the stairway to heaven, on to heaven eternally.  It does seem that my temporal body is not needed by God to be in the temporal Church, and at this phase of spiritual progression, my mind, heart, and soul are fed by His Real Presence, my sins forgiven by His Real Presence, my all and everything led and directed and guided along is of His Real Presence in His Mystical Church.

This means nothing against the temporal Church other than the temporal is always passing away--our bodies and structures, and temporal aspects of our growth and learning as we are progressed along the passageways, the paths, and through this life and the temporal Church of this life.  There is nothing negative about it from my view and understanding, also which has progressed, but rather a simple transition of passing through one portal and onto another passageway shown me to be the stairway to heaven.

It is so clear to me, so vivid, so natural, so obvious, so real and so His Real Presence, this progression.  He knew I had no bodily purpose or otherwise in the temporal Church; He fulfills all that my soul, mind, heart, and body need in His Mystical Church, directly, mystically.  I had learned and given all that God needed of me in passageway of the temporal Church.  I am not perfected by any means; but the progression is now on the stairway to heaven--which means it is not heaven, but from what I was shown, a stairway that extends as if eternally, forever.  

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Love in His Love!

 

Christian Catholic Mystic Hermit: God's Leading, Progression in His Church (Some Thoughts)

 

Been more ill today with sinus infection worsening from having been after zpack over two weeks ago, slightly better. I remembered and verified in some research again, that sinusitis (which are sinus infections but I thought sinusitis just drainage, but not) is something that can occur with those having Arachnoiditis--thankfully, rare affliction.  Never ends until death and gets worse over time while alive.  

Yet it is a beautiful cross, Arachnoiditist, a gift of God and part of what He's used to form me and progress me onward and upward into eventual fullness of Light: the Most Holy Trinity.

Arachnoiditis can be cause of recurring sinusitis, that hang on like this current, sinus affliction.  Am weak, dizzy and imbalanced, head pain, face and eye pain; is draining some but just not over it.  Clammy then sweaty then chills and totally fatigued.  Was a rough day being so sick again.  T (hired man for heavier tasks) coming tomorrow and wish I felt better to assist more.  Costs are adding up, of course.

Regardless, I am so appreciative that the Gospel includes Jesus speaking of forgiving others and asking God's forgiveness, and our then being forgiven by God.  Please forgive me for the upsets I've written concerning experiences and situations in Catholic Church-- the temporal Church, not His Mystical Church. I have had much good with Church now that I grasp that the Mystical is His church for eternity and can be now, also, once one recognizes and grasps His Mystical is for now, just as His Real Presence is in us now, and we are in Him, now; and we can be forgiven by God in and through spiritual confession--a mystical event also is communion, within, of His Real Presence, His Body and Blood and more so, all of Him!  Spiritual and Mystical we may become, in some aspects our bodies, but very much so our minds, hearts, and souls in His Real Presence: the /Trinity.

Forgive me that I remained affixed too long to the temporal of parishes and dioceses, but I have benefitted greatly from and through temporal aspects of churches from childhood on, for as long as I can recall.  All aspects and experiences, growth, learning, the temporal Church was a progression, each church a passageway opening to the next, culminating for me, in the temporal Catholic church. I have passed through all the good of temporal Church and learning of His Real Presence in the Consecrate, mystically His Body and Blood in tangible form, to His Mystical Catholic church, now somewhere, likely first step or two of the stairway to heaven.

I have asked God to forgive me for clinging to temporal of Church when there is so much we can progress into that of His Mystical church from within to without.  Could be now more of His Mystical Church, if would have overcome much of what as been added and altered by humankind over the centuries.  However, His Real Presence has been for quite awhile, leading me through (or on out of)  the passageway of temporal Church to that which is no longer temporal Church passageway but a stairway Mystical passageway, yet while in whatever passageway God wills. 

Yet, I feel of myself that I have slipped, stumbled, resisted, and in these and more, sinned.  Do you think this is due to my not cooperating with God, not grasping what He was showing me, telling me, and leading me onward for past 12-16 years in particular?  Lump on my grousing--wanting and trying to hang on to the temporal Church when His Real Presence wanted me to pass through after learning and growing much in that needful and progressing phase of temporal Church passageway?  

I beg forgiveness of God for my having stubbornly resisted passing through, and also for my being so complaining--of which I'd not had I let go of that which He had in HIs plan and will for me, progressed me through!  If I'd have had the faith and courage when in some parishes and dioceses past, not trying so hard to cling to the temporal Church when God had progressed me through, brought me to the base of stairway to heaven, even asked me Himself why would I want that (temporal Church) when I could have Him more directly now?

So I've been offensive to you of what I am seeing more clearly.  I myself needed to see my own aspects that hinder me in His progressing me, and to learn in reality the humankind alterations or temporal emphases made increasingly over the centuries, and not always as Jesus taught or ordained in His Church.  Also, what t have I done to spread the Good News? Too busy being upset and disillusioned with  myself and those aspects of the temporal which, of course, is passing away.  Or our experiences in the temporal Church and world is passing away [a good] if we progress in God's leading us to the Mystical which is eternal--but also now.  

However, my own situation is made difficult due to unable to sit without intractable pain. The mystical ecstasies that began in late Augutst 2008 progressed in themselves from weak to deep.  That too was/is an example of how our spiritual lives--our minds, hearts, and souls--are to progress, led by His Real Presence.  By not letting go of the temporal of anything, including the increased temporalizationg of His Church by us humans--we will find out one way or another the fullness in Jesus teaching the temporal is passing away.  His Real Presence is progressing us toward reality of His Real Presence and His Mystical Church--of which He is the Head with none other.  Directly and fully, in reality, the Trinity was and is and is to come; we who believe and love and follow and do HIs will are His Body. This is His Church, eternally His Mystical Church!

I am thrilled with grasping and accepting what has been shown over some years within the temporal Church.  I have been eager to help, learn, read, participate, tried to help others, and learning to love His Living Word, forgive, ask and be forgiven. Furthermore, it seems the holy ones we read about or who have left their lived lives and writings grasped this and progressed from the temporal to the Mystical Church; they wrote about His Real Presence, His Living Word, and life in following Christ's teachings.  

Those who wrote about the humankind aspects of temporal Church, were not those who grasped the process nor had as intense need God, and that God has need for us to be in progression.  Constant progression in His Real Presence, coming aware of the stairway to heaven which is beyond the passageway of all the good to great of temporal church, in which we are progressed along and at some point through and led to the stairway to heaven. When that created by humankind is sifted out.  What remains is the love and charitable good works, the faith and hope, the communal communicating and sharing with one another and the world, His Good News.  His Real Presence and His Living Word, His forgiveness and other aspects of what Jesus instituted such as baptism, marriage, anointing of sick, etc-- each of us and together yearn to be in His Living Word, living in it day and night, striving in progression through passageways.

Today in His Living Word Jesus also speaks of how to pray, to use few words; He gives to us all the Lord's Prayer as example of the prayer that we can always pray and of Christ, all that is pleasing to God in the prayer.  (I wonder if I will ever share in my writings without so many words?)

God Bless His Real Presence and Love as God Loves! 

[Will be continued in next day or so--providing God wills and body is made able, for we never know the day nor the hour!]

Christian Catholic Mystic Hermit: Correspondence, Thoughts on Dying to Self and Into Christ and His Mystical Church

 

I suppose God has a reason for calling us into the Catholic Church of today.  My role is that of a distant, suffering body, hooked up as if being perpetually transfused, to the point that I mostly do not think about it, autonomic transfer of the power of pain in union with Christ's sufferings mystical yet real, now that of concern and upset at what they have done to what He instituted and gave, Himself the Head, and us as followers and lovers of HIM: His Body. The Gospel today is riveting!  We must consider living this Living Word with full abandonment of ourselves even unto physical death. But it seems to me, from my lived and dying experience, that it is the emotional and mental dying that is far the more difficult and agonizing than a physical death.  However, there are a variety of types of physical deaths, and we in effect often, or some of us, die the death of a thousand cuts, so to speak.  Rejection at any level or degree is a dying to the one rejected, if they recognize it. Some do not.  The ego can be very strong in some to the point that they can be greatly rejected but not recognize it and go merrily along, taking death breaths from false lungs. Just consider these Living Words of Jesus Himself.  (This is why I am increasingly intrigued if not desperately yearning to be close to the apostles and early disciples, followers, of Christ before us humankind brought our corruption and taint by our own creating what humankind tends to do and want.  I am thirsting for the Living Christ, His Living Word, and His Own Church of which He was and could be Head if human-made hierarchies of powers that be would step aside as self-heads and allow Christ His Rightful Headship of His Church, and all of us who love Him and want to follow HIM more dearly and purely in HIs simplicity and truth, the Body of Christ in true a form as He deems, no twisting even of the verse of loosing and binding.  Man has taken great liberties indeed on that one.  This is the Church, the mystical Church of Christ as Head and simple, humble humankind lovers of Christ willing to die to ourselves can be His Body as He willed and intended, in truth, beauty, and goodness, in Divine precepts not human.  That's where the progression and passageway has brought me, albeit my hanging around far too long in the temporal, fearful of admitting the truth of what is not and allowing my mind, heart and soul to be brought to Christ Head and What Is.  But I'm there now, in His Church Mystical and True, perfection other than myself who is yet dross.) Let's just wallow in these words that are not so comfortable, from Mark: «Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and that of the gospel will save it." What profit is there for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life? What could one give in exchange for his life?   I have to ask myself first, do I wish to come after Him?  Yes.  Then I must deny myself.  Admit and know that I am nothing.  Nada nada nada.  I must take up my cross.  But what is my cross?  I will need to think and pray about what is my cross, for Jesus knows, and the Holy Spirit can tell me; I need to listen to the cues and clues. Do I wish to save my life?  Well, I want my soul saved, not necessarily my life. But yes, I want to be saved in Christ for eternity, so if that means my life being saved, my soul life, then yes; and for that I must expect to lose myself, lose my sense of self--but not for my kids or others who may not understand or appreciate me, but I must lose my life for the sake of the Gospel.  That is different and maybe harder?  Does that kind of losing my life for sake of Gospel come from the action of the HOly Spirit, or does it happen from the Holy Spirit through others as instruments of my losing my life, dying to self or such as dying to the temporal Catholic Church?  Losing my life in that death has come over time but most often through the actions and reactions of others who felt a threat, perhaps, at my speaking truth to the corruptions and wrong doings, bit by bit as I was shown them.  Or, death to self when I tried to progress in a lesser understood vocation, or death because the devil seems quite ready at hand to have at me in odd ways, or of those who lack experience perhaps in phenomenon, such as the mystical ecstasy at Mass really seemed to grind at some priests and the bishop's ability to trust God and have faith, or also to simply read about phenomenon.   Regardless many aspects can bring our deaths, bring us to losing our lives, our temporal lives, death of our understanding of religous lives, perhaps, for we must die to our indoctrinations and traditions of what we were told or thought in a temporal system and be opened wide to faith in the Holy Spirit to show us His mystical Church which is His reality and truth of Him as Head and souls as the Body. But our deaths must come for Christ's sake and for the sake of His Gospel. This will take some asking and prayer and waiting for answers to understand in some type of tangibly understood image or thought what kind of dying will be for Christ's sake and for His Gospel's sake.  All I know now is that it is very spiritual and not temporal, that type of dying for Christ's sake, so it is not if one would be a martyr for the temporal Catholic Church.  It has to be for the spiritual of Christ, for His mystical Head and Self and Body, not the tangible system and. structure of Catholic Church we think of when we say or read the words Catholic Church or even "the Church."   I had to die to that temporal church in order to find Christ in His Mystical Church.  Now though, I must grow and thrive in His Mystical Church--that is, HIS Church without humankind's altering, adding to, creating or making up, and not positions, prestige, power, possessions, politics, and privilege some personages hold, any personages.   That is what is not, and not what Is His Church, HIs Real Church, His Church that is eternal and in eternity. The last two questions I must ponder, also, especially what could I give in exchange for my life? I need to answer the questions not in terms of the temporal Church or temporal body but Christ's Mystical Church and my spiritual or mystical "body" and "life." Also, I can ask Jesus to progress me in this matter, as He has been trying for years. But I have to die to myself and die to the temporal Catholic world of which there is a strong hold due to the judgment of others and the power of the temporal rules, and the sense of being a heretic or other such labels if one progresses through the passageway and comes to this point of Jesus' words, and DIE in these rich spiritual and mystical realities that bring life to the soul as never conceived by our minds, ever, prior.  And why not?  Because I remained in the temporal humankind-created church, not wanting to be rejected by humankind, when all along it is His Real Presence Who matters and His Mystical Church, His ChristHead Church and our souls the Body. Well, I may have to die a bit in body if not given the medication that always works for the sinus crud. Our sicknesses when we are old settle in our bodily weak points.  So much for dying bodily. I'm 80% or more dead just with my age.  I want and need to do this spiritual mystical dying.  Letting go of temporal church fraught with humankind's taint and twisting is a big help toward then dying spiritually and mystically, also.  But that has to be in the realm of the Spirit and Christ and God.  Such a death, mystical and spiritual, I don't know if we can fathom or grasp.  I will pray, let go of the other, and wait.  God will provide!  Wonder if I'll even recognize that I'm dying mystically and spiritually or have died? Well, what are your thoughts on these lines pertinent for your temporal and spiritual lives? I know the late Karl Keating went through the passageway, but he did then fill in with Buddhism and New Age. That is not the same as what Jesus is saying, or what is the mystical death for His sake.  One would not fill in with some other temporal religion or ideology.  The death has to be spiritual and mystical and leave one in that realm of Christ spiritual and mystical, HIs Head and Body, real, true, mystical and no temporal detritus or humankind taint or manipulation. Love in His Love, and God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit: "The Warmth Of The Sun"

The following song, composed by Brian Wilson (Beach Boys) amazingly soothes when my body is cold but more importantly encapsulates a metaphor.  The lyrics represent in metaphoric comparison the evolved relationship of the temporal Catholic Church world with this consecrated Catholic hermit.  

I so appreciate not only the lyrics but their rich symbolism, especially of the sun (and Son: Christ Jesus, Son of Man, Son of God).  The "love of my life" is represented in the Catholic parish, the temporal Church world, or as a priest referred a couple of years ago, as the "secular Church" as compared to the mystical Church, the mystical Body of Christ, the spiritual Church.

I have the warmth of the sun [Son] within me tonight....  

The warmth of the Son is with us always, even when the temporal aspects of the Church do not necessarily feel the same way toward our love of the temporal aspects of Church.  (One can gather the depth of meaning and experience the truth, beauty, and goodness in our souls' evolving in the growth that comes from our lives progressing in His Real Presence, no matter what befalls us.)  

In faith, we continue on trusting in the Most Holy Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  Enjoy and absorb...the warmth of the Son.  He is with you tonight, the true and eternal Love of our lives!

Catholic Hermit, Question of Evil

Received an email pertinent to another Catholic hermit who evidently continues to disparage and discredit "yours truly" here.  The person wrote that this other hermit who writes such things was "sheer evil."

Now, it seems a bit severe, but one does wonder if there is that much hate, envy, and on-going rancor towards this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit here who is striving to simply live its vocation and chronicle the spiritual progression--very much including the unknowns and the failings and sometimes successes.  Is there is so much hate and resentment in a person who happens to also be a "canonically approved" variety of consecrated Catholic hermit, and then is that person technically or spiritually an authentic hermit in the consecrated life of the Catholic Church, regardless of public profession?

Is that person's bishop truly supervising that hermit of whom he is to be directing her daily life according to his approval of her plan of life?  Does he even know what she writes, or of her obsession and need to disparage another Catholic hermit (this one here, in fact!)?

But, the response given to the person emailing, is that it does not matter.  Better to be wrongly judged by someone out there in the blogosphere, than to try to figure out or even consider if a hermit is credible, authentic, or valid if going through the Catholic canonical hermit motions but is missing in some basics of Christianity and Christian behavior.

Let the Lord judge that hermit and this hermit, here.  In fact, there is some news regarding this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit attempting to receive Holy Communion.  It contacted the deputy who moved his family so that he could have them attending a licit Mass, elsewhere.  For over a year, before selling their home and moving, they had been driving a long distance to return to the parish where there was a healthy priest and a valid Mass.  His priest had told him to not go to the parish--the one this hermit has tried to attend with rather disastrous results (see previous blogs but not really necessary to drag through the ordeal).

So the deputy was willing to bring this hermit the Eucharist and would speak with his priest; and the hermit was to contact the priest, also, for that priest is well aware of the sorrowful situation in this nearby parish.  However, when the hermit spoke with the lovely secretary who passed on the request to the healthy and capable priest, the answer came back in the negative.  Due to canonical laws, the priest had told her, he could not allow the deputy to bring the hermit communion.

Of course, the hermit had explained its spiritual father forbade it to return to the closer parish, given the sorrowful situation of the priest and Mass there.  And the hermit is too ill with chronic pain to drive the distance to physically attend Mass at the healthy priest's parish.  But that priest feels strongly of the rule that a person must attend Mass at the parish nearest.  Of course, the hermit knew immediately there is an inconsistency but did not mention it.  Why bother?  It would only embarrass the priest, for he allowed the deputy and family to come to Mass in his parish for over a year while they lived closer to the unhealthy priest's parish than does this hermit!  And it was that healthy, solid priest who told the deputy and his family to not go to the closer parish.

Ah, what do we do with our temporal Catholic world?  We have to keep a strong sense of humor as well as offer prayers and sacrifices for all the shenanigans that go on.  We humans--in holy orders, in consecrated life of the Church, in matrimony or single life, Christian or not--are quite something else in our sheer goofiness!  It is difficult at times to know, literally, which end is up....

Another bit of news helped this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit, here in its unsalable hermitage.  The deputy shared that he had been to the bishop twice with concrete listing of documented ills and wrongs in this nearby parish and issues with the dear, struggling priest.  Nothing was going to be done.  Word from within the diocese is that this struggling priest was a disaster at two previous parishes, so he was sent to this parish where the Mass attendance is rather sketchy, and the people not actually desiring a proactive priest, on fire for the spiritual life.  They had run out a very holy priest who had been there a year; part of their issue was that priest tried to develop Adoration as well as other spiritually enlivening programs and opportunities.  Too holy!

So, that is how it is for now, and this hermit is accepting all as from the Hands of God.  The spiritual father happened to call--a rare event as he mostly writes--while the hermit was awaiting word back from the request that it receive Communion, brought by the deputy.  The spiritual father had good news: he had returned to more spiritual reading, himself, and was focusing on the Four Last Things.  So, too, his spiritual child, this hermit, has returned to more spiritual reading, continuing on with the sermons of Pseudo-Macarius, Scripture, and once can locate the iPad charge cord, will continue reading the biography of St. Gemma Galgani.

It is rather a sad state of affairs that the healthy priest's adherence to canonical laws, as his secretary put it, will keep the hermit from Holy Communion once a week. (The hermit's pain level alone would be enough to dispense it of sitting through Mass, although the hermit tries never to allow the pain to totally debilitate it when it came to Mass attendance.)  However, the irony of the situation must cause this hermit to praise God rather than to succumb to despair.  The devil was indeed working on the despairing aspect, for certain.  Just too many consolations came; and the hermit needs to cling to those and to keep its eyes on Jesus.

The sinus infection is starting to make improvement.  The hermit switched to a stronger antibiotic.  There has been much prayer and penance--many offerings made on behalf of the priest that is being denied help from the diocese even though they know he has troubles.  How cruel is that?  And the parishioners who remain in the parish, thankfully content enough, are missing out on much, but the Lord will take care of them, for sure.  God bless them for those who pick up the work pieces and keep the place running.  

This hermit will be obedient to its spiritual father and not return, not attempt to talk with or help the priest other than in prayer and penances offered, and will not contact the diocese.  The spiritual father was right:  They know the problems and are choosing to ignore them.  So much like a lot of organizations in the secular world, is that attitude and non-action!  In school administration it was called "the dance of the lemons" when a bad administrator or teacher would be moved from place to place until finally a spot was found where they could languish and the people (usually poor or less educated) would accept the low quality, and the school would sink lower yet.

So there is much for this rather saddened nothing consecrated Catholic hermit to pray about--and praise God about. At least there are answers, even if in the negative.  Don't go to that parish to Mass; not going to be allowed Communion from a valid parish Mass.  And, in the concrete answers even if neither would be what the hermit would hope and dream for in and for the good of the Church--the hermit can take heart and joy in the fact that they are answers.  The net was cast a couple of times in different directions, and the net came up with those answers.

A despairing thought came this morning:  Will this hermit ever get this hermitage in salable condition and be able to depart this desert, this place of true and solid exile?  Ever?  Well, the hermit knows not.  All it can do is get its pained body up and dressed and try to keep painting on the outside of the house.

Fr. Vincent has called from Nigeria to hear what is going on, but the call got lost somewhere between this desert and his desert in Nigeria.

So, we carry forth.  This nothing consecrated Catholic hermit will continue to pray and pray and offer sacrifices and praise for all these situations and persons involved, and for the temporal Catholic world (what one hermit priest calls the secular church) and for the mystical Catholic world, and for all Christian Churches and all Christians everywhere.  This hermit is going to try all the harder to live its vocation not only as a consecrated Catholic hermit, but as a Christian hermit--and a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ!  

Am looking at HIM.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  God save us all and protect us, and may His truth and light be shining through any rubble we get ourselves into.  Yes, little children, let us love one another.  Remember that God Is Love!