Been more ill today with sinus infection worsening from having been after zpack over two weeks ago, slightly better. I remembered and verified in some research again, that sinusitis (which are sinus infections but I thought sinusitis just drainage, but not) is something that can occur with those having Arachnoiditis--thankfully, rare affliction. Never ends until death and gets worse over time while alive.
Yet it is a beautiful cross, Arachnoiditist, a gift of God and part of what He's used to form me and progress me onward and upward into eventual fullness of Light: the Most Holy Trinity.
Arachnoiditis can be cause of recurring sinusitis, that hang on like this current, sinus affliction. Am weak, dizzy and imbalanced, head pain, face and eye pain; is draining some but just not over it. Clammy then sweaty then chills and totally fatigued. Was a rough day being so sick again. T (hired man for heavier tasks) coming tomorrow and wish I felt better to assist more. Costs are adding up, of course.
Regardless, I am so appreciative that the Gospel includes Jesus speaking of forgiving others and asking God's forgiveness, and our then being forgiven by God. Please forgive me for the upsets I've written concerning experiences and situations in Catholic Church-- the temporal Church, not His Mystical Church. I have had much good with Church now that I grasp that the Mystical is His church for eternity and can be now, also, once one recognizes and grasps His Mystical is for now, just as His Real Presence is in us now, and we are in Him, now; and we can be forgiven by God in and through spiritual confession--a mystical event also is communion, within, of His Real Presence, His Body and Blood and more so, all of Him! Spiritual and Mystical we may become, in some aspects our bodies, but very much so our minds, hearts, and souls in His Real Presence: the /Trinity.
Forgive me that I remained affixed too long to the temporal of parishes and dioceses, but I have benefitted greatly from and through temporal aspects of churches from childhood on, for as long as I can recall. All aspects and experiences, growth, learning, the temporal Church was a progression, each church a passageway opening to the next, culminating for me, in the temporal Catholic church. I have passed through all the good of temporal Church and learning of His Real Presence in the Consecrate, mystically His Body and Blood in tangible form, to His Mystical Catholic church, now somewhere, likely first step or two of the stairway to heaven.
I have asked God to forgive me for clinging to temporal of Church when there is so much we can progress into that of His Mystical church from within to without. Could be now more of His Mystical Church, if would have overcome much of what as been added and altered by humankind over the centuries. However, His Real Presence has been for quite awhile, leading me through (or on out of) the passageway of temporal Church to that which is no longer temporal Church passageway but a stairway Mystical passageway, yet while in whatever passageway God wills.
Yet, I feel of myself that I have slipped, stumbled, resisted, and in these and more, sinned. Do you think this is due to my not cooperating with God, not grasping what He was showing me, telling me, and leading me onward for past 12-16 years in particular? Lump on my grousing--wanting and trying to hang on to the temporal Church when His Real Presence wanted me to pass through after learning and growing much in that needful and progressing phase of temporal Church passageway?
I beg forgiveness of God for my having stubbornly resisted passing through, and also for my being so complaining--of which I'd not had I let go of that which He had in HIs plan and will for me, progressed me through! If I'd have had the faith and courage when in some parishes and dioceses past, not trying so hard to cling to the temporal Church when God had progressed me through, brought me to the base of stairway to heaven, even asked me Himself why would I want that (temporal Church) when I could have Him more directly now?
So I've been offensive to you of what I am seeing more clearly. I myself needed to see my own aspects that hinder me in His progressing me, and to learn in reality the humankind alterations or temporal emphases made increasingly over the centuries, and not always as Jesus taught or ordained in His Church. Also, what t have I done to spread the Good News? Too busy being upset and disillusioned with myself and those aspects of the temporal which, of course, is passing away. Or our experiences in the temporal Church and world is passing away [a good] if we progress in God's leading us to the Mystical which is eternal--but also now.
However, my own situation is made difficult due to unable to sit without intractable pain. The mystical ecstasies that began in late Augutst 2008 progressed in themselves from weak to deep. That too was/is an example of how our spiritual lives--our minds, hearts, and souls--are to progress, led by His Real Presence. By not letting go of the temporal of anything, including the increased temporalizationg of His Church by us humans--we will find out one way or another the fullness in Jesus teaching the temporal is passing away. His Real Presence is progressing us toward reality of His Real Presence and His Mystical Church--of which He is the Head with none other. Directly and fully, in reality, the Trinity was and is and is to come; we who believe and love and follow and do HIs will are His Body. This is His Church, eternally His Mystical Church!
I am thrilled with grasping and accepting what has been shown over some years within the temporal Church. I have been eager to help, learn, read, participate, tried to help others, and learning to love His Living Word, forgive, ask and be forgiven. Furthermore, it seems the holy ones we read about or who have left their lived lives and writings grasped this and progressed from the temporal to the Mystical Church; they wrote about His Real Presence, His Living Word, and life in following Christ's teachings.
Those who wrote about the humankind aspects of temporal Church, were not those who grasped the process nor had as intense need God, and that God has need for us to be in progression. Constant progression in His Real Presence, coming aware of the stairway to heaven which is beyond the passageway of all the good to great of temporal church, in which we are progressed along and at some point through and led to the stairway to heaven. When that created by humankind is sifted out. What remains is the love and charitable good works, the faith and hope, the communal communicating and sharing with one another and the world, His Good News. His Real Presence and His Living Word, His forgiveness and other aspects of what Jesus instituted such as baptism, marriage, anointing of sick, etc-- each of us and together yearn to be in His Living Word, living in it day and night, striving in progression through passageways.
Today in His Living Word Jesus also speaks of how to pray, to use few words; He gives to us all the Lord's Prayer as example of the prayer that we can always pray and of Christ, all that is pleasing to God in the prayer. (I wonder if I will ever share in my writings without so many words?)
God Bless His Real Presence and Love as God Loves!
[Will be continued in next day or so--providing God wills and body is made able, for we never know the day nor the hour!]
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