Joyful, Solus Deus, Christian, Catholic, Mystic Hermit: Correspondence to a Fellow Hermit

Note:  The canonical hermit who has done much to perpetuate various precedents created by said person, has written a lengthy and seemingly sound refutation of my comments and questions below.  What this person writes in disagreeing what I have set forth, and now has added on years that have grown exponentially to what was this person's previous length of time as a hermit, is not scripturally based nor accurate other than is from the person's legalistic view of the Body of Christ and Christ as Head, of which Jesus decried such aspects that the high priests, scribes, Pharisees and Sadducees of His time on earth had so created a contorted legalistic form of religion and spiritual life in the Jewish faith and lived out in the temples as well as were imposed on the Jewish people.  This manner of humankind creating what they wish and adding on to what humankind creates in legalisms yet in our times or in recent times, is what most hermits such as St. Bruno, gave pause and ponder, and thus left the temporal world including ithe temporal system and structure, and left for the farthest reaches  of the Alps in which to draw nigh on to Christ and to worship and pray, to be Christian in the freedom of silence of solitude, praise of God, and intimacy with Christ that yet lifted up and strengthened the entire Body of Christ.  Bruno had lived enough of the very aspects of this person who persists in making up what is not in many aspects in fact.  I have provided the person with more platform than is warranted or healthy for the misinformation that comes forth, so will leave off the topic of which I do believe, however, that there will be increasing "hermits" of the canon law provision, simply due to the public promotion and position, prestige of sorts, and aspect of thinking "legal" and "approved" is preferred to following in the footsteps, heart, mind, and spirit of Christ's teachings and life as He exemplified on earth and as it is in His Real Presence here and in Heaven.

God's blessings:

I've been wondering how you are, if you are holding up by the power of God to the physical challenges you were having at one time or perhaps yet are, causing you to move to another location now some time ago for personal and needful reasons.  I'm a Catholic hermit, consecrated but of the traditional, historic mode, privately professed as had been customary for centuries, as also some of the prophets lived--John the Baptist, as well.  I've always appreciated and been refreshed by your writing about how to become a hermit (religious type).  You write reasonably and openly, with wisdom and intelligence.  I've found the trend to instead by going toward more structural, temporalized hermit vocation in the Catholic church vis a vis the  CL603 diocese hermit platform.  Just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your just and modest expression of the vocation, thoughtful and set forth with reason and respect for all those who share the Catholic faith and also have been called by God to the hermit vocation. 

I have been, since vows professed nearly 23 years ago in private ceremony, and remain anonymous including hidden as far as blending in dependent upon environment in which I live or go out for errands. No prefix nor suffix to my name by choice of the same hiddenness and never felt need to stand out or be distinguished as with the low income and disabled with pain, facing increasing suffering so less manual labor. I may be facing losing the financial base I was utilizing--that of a modest inheritance invested in a house to renovate and eventually, hopefully selling for a profit to help pay for (likely) end of life health care needed.  I may not be able to complete the renovation, but will see what God has in Mind this coming year--if I recover enough from the latest major surgery.

I've never quite fathomed why bishops and/or those who wanted to be known as hermits, or given diocese hermit, bishop approval--was the canon law developed, and by what concern to do so.  Or did some hermits approach, even one or two, desiring the Church to create such a church law, because they wanted a place within the other designations of religious orders and clergy, virgins and widows?  Or were bishops concerned that the few hermits that ever exist, relative to Catholic lay members, were going to somehow have unmitigated and unapproved power, or were promoting themselves for monetary or theological gain?  

I thought perhaps you may know why they finalized the canon law (603) in 1983 to create a "diocese hermit" of which the bishop approves, and the vows are made publicly, of which now it seems precedents followed to include a public Mass, reception, publication announcement in diocese and other media, and sometimes hermit utilized in parish life and employment therein, or as hospital chaplains, paid spiritual directors or counselors, parish administrators or diocese employment.  However, typically hermits always have been and some few remain, solitary and more strictly separated from the world;  seekers of God alone and the spiritual life, existing to praise and pray and do penance, to live in silence of solitude and be hidden from the mainstream of the world.  And definitely were or are not known, not interacting in parishes nor belonging to any particular diocese--yet were and are approved and consecrated by and in God while very much remaining definitively Catholic (members of the Body of Christ and members of the Catholic Church).  

You seem a rather rare glimpse of a diocese hermit who has not succumbed or perhaps not gone along with the precedents being set by some hermits, particularly in the US, who are promoting, formulating, the erstwhile "traditional, historic" hermit vocation in this other manner.  It also seems from current research and events that bishops are assuming and inculcating the precedents, although have been simply made up by more visible diocese hermits who have by essence of being more public have established themselves or by supporters, as authorities.  The bishops seem not to question nor realize these protocols are simply being made up, whether or not the practices follow or adhere with what is stated in The Catechism of the Catholic Church.  These may include precedents and practices regarding solitude, per say, or "hidden from the eyes of men", or living a "stricter separation from the world"--of which stricter has grown a loose definition and as if no "waistline needed."  

Also, I have noticed that there is a precedent that has become as if "law", that the Catholic hermits who are of the ancient or traditional, historic mode (as has been the way of hermit profession and avowal, of being formed by God and those whom God has placed for a time period to guide the hermit, mentor the hermit)--that these hermits are somehow not to be referred to nor of themselves be "Catholic hermits".  This is a relatively new development, not that a Catholic hermit needs to be known as belonging to his or her Church despite Catholicism being the basis of a hermit's practice of worship, theology, faith, and tradition. 

Amidst these ongoing observations and in some regard concerns, I hope you might personally offer some insights as to the what and especially why, and how it was the diocese hermit and canon law 603 came to be accepted as essentially "promote and official, even "legal" format of hermit vocation in recent times. Also, do you anticipate the traditional, historic, perhaps what has been the only form or type of hermit existence prior to 1983 to thereby be replaced at least as no longer technically legally and in practice and essence inviable, in the eyes of the Church clergy and members?   [I believe there was a movement in France in early 20th c.of something of the sort but my memory rusty on what I've read of this, now a century past].  

Regardless, the creation of yet another canon law, and this for hermits of all vocations, seems to create what could become or has already made lasting ruts and signage as a replacement form of the centuries-old, tried and true hermit vocational pathway, going back prior to time of Our Lord hermit vocation. Already I am aware of aberrations from what is set forth and gleaned from more ancient hermit lives and writings, the requisites that earmark a hermit's life from perpetuity and history, and the ways and means of that lifestyle. 

Thanks in advance and regardless, if you can illuminate and share your thoughts or knowledge on these questions and concerns I have for the rather divisive situation of hermit vocational options, the one being subjugated in many circumstances and locales, already.  While the variant precedents and actual life style shifts taking place perhaps by bishops and diocese hermits maybe not in agreement or knowledgeable of the traditional and historic ways and wherefores of hermit lives--will not affect my own vocation.  What has been written in The Catechism has been been gleaned from historic hermit and theologic writings and lifestyles; my own and other tradtional hermits live vocations anonymously, formed, and corrected by for most part the Holy Spirit as enactor, and our guardian angels as messenger, the Holy Spirit as guide and overseer, and of Jesus the Word  and Son of God Our Father.  

But I do sense and have cited instances noticed, of the division that is being created, plus some detraction even if subtle or recently reworded. Eventhough you state correctly that the centuries-and-into-antiquity style of hermit vocation should not be demeaned, the traditional historic way of hermit life is in effect being negated or presented/treated as illegal by virtue of having the relative recent, diocese hermit path "legalized" by a canon law with procedural structure created by humankind, albeit clerics, but perhaps some who wanted this structure and stature developed, lobbied for and assisted in the creation of the canon law.  

So again, to re-cap; my sincere appreciation if you can shed light at least on the reason why a canon law to legalize and make public, organized, and structured a diocese hermit vocation--was determined necessary to begin with, or who promoted the diocese hermit or "by law" type of public profession into the hands of a bishop over private profession in and consecration by God?  

It's always fairly obvious when someone has a mental illness or is a demoniac, even back in the Old Testament times or during life of Christ, compared to a quiet, unassuming person who if takes seriously being "hidden" from the eyes of humankind, lives in solitude, blends in, is in stricter separation from the world--with stricter being an on-going progression but not playing games with the meaning of the word. And of discerning and noting the spiritual life and prayer, praise and penance being the way of life, along with living the Gospel that of a healthy and viable hermit as opposed to an imbalanced and mentally ill person, or even one who simply does not have the vocation, at least not yet, and is in it for the uniqueness or some form of self-gain.  (Hopefully, Christians would offer care and mercy  to such persons, or grasping if one even knew of the "hermit" if in a phase of spiritual or temporal trial that time would prove the vocation one way or another.)  

Otherwise in reality, if there were such a "hermit" observable as a hermit, saying he or she is a hermit, who is exhibiting traits and behaviors of a genuinely emotionally, mentally, or pathologically ill person, no one would take such a one seriously as a hermit. In other words, how would anyone even be known as a hermit if truly living in accord with the standards or requisites of hermit life and vocation from the period of the Essenes and even further back in history and forward through the Christian era to the requisites and standard basics being summarized and set forth in The Catechism of the Catholic Church?  

And, will there will be a time or has it arrived, when the historic, traditional form of hermit is no longer attempted due to the current promoting by the Church bishops as well as the growing incidence of diocese hermits, the created canon law  603 also promoted by dioceses and being accepted as the legal way to become a "Catholic" hermit?  While the traditional, historic, and not long ago only path or way of the hermit vocation--will it fall out of custom and become past history as it is not encouraged nor espoused by the clergy?  Nor is the historic traditional hermit vocation promoted by diocese hermits by virtue they chose the publicly professed and bishop-approved path, and being public and following precedents set, are visible as hermits in dress, name and titles, having been announced in dioceses and often nationally or in national publications of countries.  Additionally the Church membership at large is unaware of the hidden, silent, solitary privately professed hermit pathway and hermits themselves due to their remaining hidden and anonymous unlike the advertised diocese hermits whose often new names with religious titles are interviewed and presented in publications, as well as announced and spoken of by bishops and priests as Catholic hermits of "the Catholic hermit vocation"?

I wrote this to the hermit who I have admired for several years, when I discovered what had been written that was the most fair and decently accommodating of the hermit vocation in which otherwise, previously have been the only types of hermits, religious, at least, since any records or knowledge remains of those of which I am a remaining morsel among the others out there, living solus Deus, God alone, and striving in the basic summations of what is a consecrated Catholic hermit to live and be, now gathered and available to refer to in The Catechism of the Catholic Church.  Beyond that, there are the writings by and of the ancient hermits up through the 21 centuries, and the Scriptures, Old Testament and John the Baptist in the New Testament, as excellent guides with their lives and trials, and their guidance, from which to learn, be inspired, and encouraged.

I went through and edited (cleaned and made more clear) my thoughts and request for feedback from this diocese hermit, and I have personally noted that the hermit did update the earlier writing on hermits, and has been influenced some by the increasing trend of Diocese hermits and bishops predominating the hermit vocational scene in the temporal aspects of the Catholic Church at least for now.  Who knows how this will evolve and to what end--except for God Who often lets humankind devise their own hands-on desires to make and create more system, structure, and legalities?  However I did appreciate shortly after sending my essay letter to thus level-headed and spiritually mature CL603 hermit who is admirably living her hermit life admirably in keeping with the basics and what remains summed in The Catehcism, coming across the writings of St Ignatius of Antioch way back circa some years prior to his death around the year 110.  A bishop and martyr of the very early church, likely alive and part of the word "Catholic" being used interchanged with Church and thus Catholic Church came into the vernacular, this letter to the Magnesians, Chapter 6, 7, implores them to not tolerate division and warns of the dangers of divisiveness in the Church among Her Body, and in general.  Enjoy what gifts us some worthwhile consideration even in our personal lives!

Do all then, imitating the same divine conduct, pay respect to one another, and let no one look upon his neighbor after the flesh, but continually love each other in Jesus Christ. Let nothing exist among you that may divide you; but be united with your bishop, and those that preside over you, as a type and evidence of your immortality. As therefore the Lord did nothing without the Father, being united to Him, neither by Himself nor by the apostles, so neither do anything without the bishop and presbyters. Neither endeavor that anything appear reasonable and proper to yourselves apart; but being come together into the same place, let there be one prayer, one supplication, one mind, one hope, in love and in joy undefiled. There is one Jesus Christ, than whom nothing is more excellent. Therefore run together as into one temple of God, as to one altar, as to one Jesus Christ, who came forth from one Father, and is with and has gone to one.

Solus Deus Hermit: A Diverging Hermit Vocation

I was asked a few days ago to write an article for a publication, I assume online magazine.  The topic was the hermit vocation and it's relevance or some such juxtaposition with the Church today.  Someone had asked me, who had contacted me several years ago for vocational discussion, remembered me, and appreciated whatever it was I'd mentioned in our email correspondence. I truly cannot recall; too much life and suffering has passed before us, over however many years.  

I was initially willing to write the article, no pay involved, to help out. Plus this latest major surgery has been a dark night of senses that turned into dark night of soul; the aftermath is more painful and far more slow a recovery than I anticipated or was prepared for physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  I felt writing the article would fire my inner engines, as I've been seeking God's will on what to write next, as I have yet to fulfill my mission, which keeps coming back to being sharing in writing or verbally, the reality of God, and His ongoing and vital providence for and interactions with we, His created people, in every present moment of our lives.  

So I figured go ahead and write the article, of which I was told I could use previous writings or write what comes.  I admitted that the article that came, seemed to me a mess of ramblings.  I altered "person" in the structure and repeat, have my typical too-long sentences, and whatever else.  I submitted the article, and the contact person then wrote wanting an additional article for the level of junior readers.  Yes, I could do that, but of course would shorten the piece, as I was given a 2,000-4,000 word limit, of which I came in at just under 4,000 words.  Typical for my writing, I admit, and more length the more pain I am in!  Then came a message that the original had parts that he'd remove, and then another message of just writing the piece for the junior magazine.  

I realized amidst the shifting of ideas and articles, and of at one point the contact person wanting to edit sections and then publish the original article, to then turning more to a junior article more basic of hermits and hermit life, I felt misgivings I had so quickly agreed to this effort.  Granted, I am exhausted and on weak from the surgery effects, and the painful recovery is going to continue for several months.  But what I wrote came to me all the more from setting forth the two paths available to Cadolic hermits today, yet I am most definitely a hermit of the long-standing path, the traditional, historic vocation. In fact, my long-time priest and spiritual advisor had not even heard of the more recent CL602 hermit path.  

Only after a couple years did I hear of this canon law hermit option, and through testing the will of God, He continued to say in defined ways, "No."  Each time I was relieved, for I had begun to grasp the pitfalls and temptations that were befalling some of the diocese (CL603) hermits. In fact, I became an object of attack by one such who evidently felt I was a threat that needed to be silenced.  And while not silenced nor the facts unchanged, I have not written on this topic for a long time because I had no reason until asked to write this article, which of course would need to discuss both hermit vocational paths in today's Roman Church.

I've decided to bow out of the voluntary written offer for the publication, but am awaiting final word as to if the person wants still to use the sections he or perhaps an editor prefers from my article, or are agreeable to find someone else, and also what they plan for the shorter article for junior readers. I'd assume they would not use my writing without permission, of course, even if reworked or sections removed.  Regardless, I wrote what flowed out, and it expresses what is deeply held within, plus the reasoning and practicalities which undergird why God prefers the vocational path He continues to choose for me--and no, I will not ever test His decision again.  

By now this traditional path has all the elements of what the writers of The Catechism of the Catholic Church gleaned from documents and hermits of history, of the hermit vocation, as well as of the Consecrated Life--so that I do not consciously think in terms of my hermit path or even the vocational elements that create the means to the growth and usefulness of my life to God and His Church.  Rather, I simply live it, secure in the traditional structure and the many lives I've read of the saintly hermits of Christian history, including John the Baptist's life and being called out of the desert for the final fulfillment of his mission and purpose. I, too, am seeking in the end run of my earthly life, God's will and my assignment of mission and purpose.  

This article which I have decided was not really meant for that publication but more something I needed to write as a reminder to self of where I have lived and grown as a hermit over the past 23 years and another 14 years prior in which my mind was being warmed following a vision and locution in 1986, telling me how God wished me to live my life--a precursor of hermit vocation at a time I was not free to do so.  But the time came, and the other responsibilities and attachments have been met and detached.  

Now I will share what was to be an article that I wrote, with you my readers.  What was a warm-up call to loosen the fingers and tongue, and to open the mind to whatever the Holy Spirit desires, what I wrote is also a means of answering God with my YES and AMEN! I am ready to put what energy and breath, thought and heart, to sharing, writing, verbalizing--whatever it is that His Real Presence desires me to express for the good of my soul and the soul-lives of others, as well as to any aid it might be to Holy Mother Church and the Body of Christ.  

                                  On Being Hermit: A Diverging Vocation 

 For those who have read of or considered hermit life either historically or in today’s Church, the thoughts may have led to further research or may have remained at nuanced levels of just what is a hermit, a Catholic hermit, or the actuality of a Catholic hermit vocation then and now. Perhaps the thoughts included an inner yearning to become a hermit for any number of reasons, over the course of daily temporal life. 

I’d like to share with you, in part, some of my personal journey on becoming and being a Catholic hermit, including the diverging aspects of the hermit vocation in today’s Church. My own call to the hermit vocation began when yet a Protestant in 1986, before my conversion to Catholicism. I later professed hermit vows in 2000, in a chapel, before altar and tabernacle, officiated by an elder priest (my spiritual director)--myself as well, before and within the love of God Almighty. The priest had prepared a sermon; we each read various Scriptures; the ceremony modeled upon a Medieval Anchorite enclosure. 

 Rather than now discussing my own hermit path, I think it best to set forth the aspects of hermit life that have become basic requisites of religious solitaries from before the time of Christ to present times. These requisites that form religious hermits, and for this article, Catholic hermits, are currently stated in The Catechism of the Catholic Church under the section titled “The Consecrated Life,” and specifically stated in the subsection on “The eremitic life." 

 Let’s begin by examining these basics lived by hermits of God for centuries, and how the vocation has recently diverged into essentially two Church-allowed pathways of consecrated Catholic hermits today. Please let us consider the following excerpts from "The Catechism," bold-type emphases, mine: 

 III. THE CONSECRATED LIFE  914 "The state of life which is constituted by the profession of the evangelical counsels, while not entering into the hierarchical structure of the Church, belongs undeniably to her life and holiness."453 Evangelical counsels, consecrated life 

 915 Christ proposes the evangelical counsels, in their great variety, to every disciple. The perfection of charity, to which all the faithful are called, entails for those who freely follow the call to consecrated life the obligation of practicing chastity in celibacy for the sake of the Kingdom, poverty and obedience. It is the profession of these counsels, within a permanent state of life recognized by the Church, that characterizes the life consecrated to God. 454 

 916  The state of consecrated life is thus one way of experiencing a "more intimate" consecration, rooted in Baptism and dedicated totally to God. 455 In the consecrated life, Christ's faithful, moved by the Holy Spirit, propose to follow Christ more nearly, to give themselves to God who is loved above all and, pursuing the perfection of charity in the service of the Kingdom, to signify and proclaim in the Church the glory of the world to come.456 

 One great tree, with many branches....[These different vocations] have come into existence...for the progress in holiness of their members and for the good of the entire Body of Christ."457 

 918 From the very beginning of the Church there were men and women who set out to follow Christ with greater liberty, and to imitate him more closely, by practicing the evangelical counsels. They led lives dedicated to God, each in his own way. Many of them, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, became hermits or founded religious families. These the Church, by virtue of her authority, gladly accepted and approved….458 

The eremitic life 920 Without always professing the three evangelical counsels publicly, hermits "devote their life to the praise of God and salvation of the world through a stricter separation from the world, the silence of solitude and assiduous prayer and penance."460 

 921 They manifest to everyone the interior aspect of the mystery of the Church, that is, personal intimacy with Christ. Hidden from the eyes of men, the life of the hermit is a silent preaching of the Lord, to whom he has surrendered his life simply because he is everything to him. Here is a particular call to find in the desert, in the thick of spiritual battle, the glory of the Crucified One. 

From the above citations, we find that once a person has received a call from God, usually via the Holy Spirit who stirs the mind and heart, the discernment process begins. The call can be a nudging or curiosity within, or reading about some hermit of yore, a yearning for a life drawn apart for God alone, or even a direct locution in which one is told God wills the hermit life. Discernment progresses through prayer, inner listening to God, consulting with a wise and holy spiritual guide, preferably a wise, discerning, elder cleric. 

The individual ought ponder each facet written above of the hermit life and tradition. These describe the basics of what the Church asks of anyone desiring to become a Catholic hermit. In addition, the discerning person ought read as many books on the topic of hermits, and these primary sources--the writings of hermits themselves, hermit biographies by those who knew the hermits, and writings of hermits' spiritual directors, mentors, and guides. 

While the internet is convenient, the extant writings by hermits and original biographies are preferred to reading what current-day writers have extrapolated or opined on hermits, hermit life, and the hermit vocation. Locating old books online or from monastery libraries or used bookstores is an investment well-worth the time and cost; learning from the desert fathers and mothers and their writings, and any other hermit of centuries past, is invaluable in the discernment process. 

[Furthermore, stay clear basing a vocation upon current hermits' lives--myself included, other than for tips on how we came to the vocation or by sharing our efforts. We current Catholic hermits who are writers sharing our journeys, are still in situ, in process of our vocations, facing unknown trials and the temptations of the evil one; the eternal jury is still out as it pertains to our hermit lives. Some will falter and not remain, others may be called by God after a while to a different purpose, others may become enamored with being a known hermit of eager followers rather than being God's hermit known to but God and few others. Far better to read of a hermit, after a hermit's life is successfully fulfilled. Indeed the sting remains fresh from the example of the late Thomas Merton's brief hermit life a sham, later exposed in shame.] 

Returning to what The Catechism of the Catholic Church reveals of hermit basics, notice that all hermits from centuries past lived, even if not formally stated, the three evangelical counsels. Hermits avow to live chastely a celibate life, to live in poverty (of spirit but also of temporal means, reliant on no one other to exist). They live in obedience--obedience to God, to Christ, to the Holy Spirit. The obedience extends to Christ in Headship of His Church and Christ's Living Word. 

These evangelical counsels were embraced, essentially, by the Old Testament prophets, mostly eremitic (of the desert, or hermit) lives. John the Baptist is a hermit of Christ's time on earth, prior to his fulfilling his mission as precursor of Christ. Only then did he depart from a stricter separation of the world to begin preaching, baptizing, and proclaiming the Messiah, Christ among humankind. 

John the Baptist gained eternal reward through martyrdom, his mission on earth concluded. And this is a precious facet of the hermit vocation: Not all called to this vocation remain hermits for the duration of their lives. Many in history and yet today, are called by God to the hermit life for a certain time period, perhaps to learn more deeply of the interior life, or to fulfill some purpose of God's Holy will that requires being called back out into the world. Such is the case of Benedict who lived a hermit life for a time, but as so many came to the desert seeking his guidance and way of life, he instead became founder and father of the monasticism, of religious orders. Anthony of the Desert also was deluged with seekers. While he did mentor some, he remained steadfast as a hermit, removing himself repeatedly, increasingly hidden. 

Living the "silence of solitude" is a vibrant, vital gemstone of a hermit vocation. This solitude does not mean sharing an abode with another, or existing as a quasi religious order, or of hosting a retreat center, nor with harboring hopes founding an order of hermits. Solitude means alone, without others. While some had pets, domesticated or wild creatures, they are bidden by God's will and of His reasons. A fly became the pet of one hermit; it is said that when he'd doze or be called from reading his Hours, the fly would remain on the page, marking the line until the hermit continued. Generally, if a hermit had a pet, it was later on in the vocation. 

 There is no substitute for experiencing solitude, and thus, God Alone in the silence of solitude. As for hermit religious orders, Bruno the Carthusian refused to write statutes; he did not want a religious order of hermits. But following his death, another did so, and thus the Carthusian way of life became in essence another religious order. However, of hermit orders, the Carthusians live the hermit requisites rather remarkably, as much as a group could. Each Carthusian lives in separate cells, honors silence, eats in solitude other than after Sunday Mass, Christmas, and Easter; they celebrate Mass daily, but their only interchange with one another is a few hours of recreation one afternoon a week. 

This group type of hermit existence, however, comes at the cost of depending upon others, called “externs." These persons maintain the facility, prepare and deliver food to each cell, and handle all matters of temporal necessities so that the others may live their hermit lives, yet as a religious order. The prior or prioress maintain contact with the world, are administrators of the group as well as their financial responsibilities. 

What evolved into a group hermit experience, then under Guigo I, following Bruno's death, became The Order of Carthusians in the early 12th c,  The Order remains to this day although in declining vocations— a successful religious order which what was never intended to be a religious order. Bruno, a charismatic priest teaching in Cologne, Germany, simply wanted to remove himself from the temporal world,  An envious Bishop who caused him trials caused him, also, to remove himself from the temporalized aspects of the Church in his time period.  He answered a divine and profound call to draw close to God Alone. 

After some years of praying and planning, in 1070, Bruno chose to live the eremitic life in the farthest reaches of the Alps. Some companions of like desires accompanied him on this venture, but not as a fledgling religious order. Yet that is what the Carthusians became, and to their esteem, is the only religious order in the Western Church, per Pope John Paul II's mention, that has never needed to be reformed. The contribution of St. Bruno's seeking an eremitic life, with his friends joining in, left a major imprint of hermit functionality along with the spiritual call of those who yet today desire personal intimacy with Christ in the modus of the pith of consecrated life, and all that such divine union gifts humankind as well as the Body of Christ, the Church.

Thus more so, The Catechism highlights the importance of “a stricter separation from the world” and being “hidden from the eyes of men [humankind].” A hermit will evolve in separating from the temporal world; this is a process, thus the word “stricter” provides flow and movement, of gradations of letting go and dying to self and temporal world, while increasing in the inner life, a deepening, widening, “intimacy of Christ.” Enter the significance of a hermit’s outer appearance and abode. 

 I'll share personally here.  Fairly new to the hermit vocation, I learned these aspects not without pain. I quickly realized that if I wore a garment modeled after Medieval religious orders, or even a simple, gray garment day after day, people noticed me. If the garment reminded others of a religious habit, they came to me—strangers—and would pour out their lives and souls. I was stunned to think that my outer appearance, even in the very beginnings of my hermit vocation, had people deceived to think that I held some special holiness or wisdom, or that I was qualified to counsel them, or even that my prayers held special sway with God. Fortunately, I did have over half a doctorate in clinical psychology and many hours of counseling practicum, also a doctorate in leadership and administration. I was in my 50’s with much life experience behind me, fortunately was and am a person of lifelong prayer, loved God above all things, and had read of great spiritual books, as well as I love steeping in Scripture. 

But I was horrified to.consider:  What if I had none of this background, or if I had in pride thought I should take on this role they assumed of me? Indeed, I was not hidden at all! I stuck out like a sore thumb, and that included those who had negative experiences with religious persons from their early schooling or church interactions, and seeing me in a costume from another century, was not a positive reminder for them. Thus, combined with what the Scriptures state as to how we are to comport ourselves, 

I thankfully grasped that to remain hidden so as to silently “preaching Christ” (or present myself as one who had surrendered myself to the Lord), I needed to dress in whatever those around me wore, yet not needing much variety, but enough to not be noticed nor to stand out. I made sure even the hairs of my head blended in style. My person and clothing clean and appropriate, I donned what any ordinary person of my locale, age, and even background, would wear. This included altering my apparel somewhat when I needed to change locations. 

Remaining hidden is necessary for a hermit, and that includes not taking on some different name, or using a prefix such as Sister of Brother—or tagging on initials harkening to what religious order persons affix to their names. A hermit, publicly professed per the 1983 CL603, has set some of these precedents such as signing Erem.dio after names to designate they are diocese eremites. Immediately such designation stands out to others, bringing attention to the diocese hermits who adopt this practice. Is distinction and approval a hermit's due? Consider the Scripture of the humble man who remained in the back of the temple, remonstrating to God that he is not worthy, and then the proud man who wanted to be esteemed, and loudly declared his own worthiness. 

The same goes for where today’s hermit might choose to live. I soon realized that given my serious pain disabilities and age, that living out in a wooded property in a in an old abode, bearing the elements, and me with pain sieges that required strong medications and assistance from others now and then, I’d not be safe nor practical living in other than a simple yet comfortable neighborhood, close to what few needs I have of which one is on-going medical. Considering an apartment, not only did the constant pain make it very difficult with noise, apartment life for now would be too many people around. The more people in close quarters, the more they wonder and notice someone who is alone, quiet, without social life. In my current locale, rents are higher than my mortgage by double. 

Yet my main reason for an ordinary subdivision house, for now, is that my pain and low income, both, require that I try to keep my body active and mobile, otherwise I will be more quickly paralyzed as that is part of my ailment, Arachnoiditis. Thus I discovered the value of simple, humble labor which may be done in silence and solitude, or at least done in silence. It is also how I learned that the early desert fathers wore the typical garments of those who were poor in society, but also often flaxen color due to the heat of the desert as well as the type of cloth least costly. 

I took heed that they did not go out approaching others, nor did they work in parishes or hospitals, lovely as that work may be, but they worked in what they could sell, provided for their own food as much as they could by gardening, or in our times would have chosen tasks working for others to earn the money we require in our societies to pay our way in life—be it a mortgage, groceries, medications, heat, water, power, and internet which is becoming difficult to fulfill our duties without access, although could use library computer if going there seems better. 

Hermits can find employment cleaning buildings, working in an assembly line (despite being around others, the work is the focus, often machinery loud, so can retreat within to find the silence of solitude). Or, if the hermit has a profession, many now may be fulfilled by remote work, or if artistically inclined, by cottage industries in the abode. 

I live on a small retirement income after years of low income disability, with a modest share of my late parents' hard-earned savings. This is my final house that I have tried to renovate very slowly, amidst two major and three lesser surgeries in under four years. There is much good in ora et labora: pray and work. I pray to finish, then sell to develop savings for my end of life care should I not pass suddenly. Each month I pay off more of the low-interest mortgage. 

As my health has declined sooner than I anticipated, I, like many hermits in our later years, must accept some help such as after surgeries or with errands, or in other needs. Some people question or find odd, a lifestyle such as mine. Thus, if a hermit’s lifestyle becomes a matter of genuine curiosity, the hermit may choose to explain and request privacy. This happens usually if a person is going to be closer, needed to assist with on-going health needs. The Holy Spirit gives the hermit explanations. I find a less startling explanation is to say one is a “religious solitary” or simply needs to remain more alone and quiet due to life and health circumstances. 

There are many ways to remain hidden from curiosity, to retain the silence of solitude, to go without notice, and yet be a witness to the praise of God’s glory, to retain personal intimacy with Christ, to be silently preaching the Lord with ongoing surrender to the Crucified One Who Is a Hermit's All. As we note from familiarity with reading lives of great hermits of the Church, as well as the succinct guidance of The Catechism, a hermit’s life is to be devoted “to the praise of God and salvation of the world through a stricter separation from the world, the silence of solitude and assiduous prayer and penance.” Over time, through prayer and reading, through asking the Holy Spirit for practical advice in living the hermit vocation, answers will come, as well as trials and errors. 

The hermit may go through various phases of adaptation, of advancing, regressing, doubting, increasing in faith, dark nights of senses and soul, and spiritual blessings. Through it all, at first and for a few years, it is important to seek spiritual guidance of a learned and experienced priest director, as well as of the Trinity, of the Living Word, of great spiritual guides through books, and also of praise and worship of His Real Presence. After years have passed, the need for a human spiritual director lessens. If there is need, a hermit may consult with one spiritual and advanced in life in Christ; but mostly the Trinity and the Living Word guide the hermit's temporal and spiritual lives. 

Worship and increasing intimacy with Christ as expressed in the spiritual life and value of the hermit vocation provide purposeful meaning. The hermit “manifest[s] to everyone the interior aspect of the mystery of the Church, that is, personal intimacy with Christ. Through years of living the hermit life, I came to understand that since my consecration as a Catholic hermit is by God, the Holy Spirit leads and guides, as well as Christ Who teaches and loves in and through me, God’s law of love and His love through me, of others. 

I participated in daily Mass to begin with, going and returning without much interaction unless in hospitality, someone had need of conversation. It is the hermit’s task to keep the conversation meaningful and purposeful to that person, and at times, interactive in sharing. A hermit is to be hospitable when appropriate and per the Divine Will. Over time, it became increasingly difficult for me to attend Mass. There are valuable reasons why not, but through prayer, discussion with my spiritual director--an elder priest, holy and wise--it became obvious God was hindering my being in a parish and being in a parish Mass. Once I realized that the hermits of history and tradition did not belong to parishes, nor did they attend daily Mass and rarely worshipped in group setting of Mass due to distance and if a priest happened along or was a hermit, I was able to let go of what had been my and sometimes a cleric’s lack of understanding the mysterious realities of hermit life as lived daily in past times and current times. 

The fact that the Trinity is guiding the hermit--and this is individualized guidance as the hermit vocation is an individualized calling--all matters settled into a peaceful and holy existence of truth, beauty, and goodness. I began to receive the Eucharist mystically. Once or twice it was through Jesus in a corporeal vision, on rare occasion someone from a parish would bring the Eucharist, but there were irrefutable situations as to why mystical and spiritual Communion became the norm. I had to stop thinking temporally, and grasp what God was doing that defies some of the temporal norms and suppositions. 

The Living Word sustains daily, and His Real Presence manifests in vast facets, very real as well as surreal. While daily life may seem basic and typical, one appreciates a glorious significance in the typical. There is a gentle. divine flow--despite the snares of the evil one attempting to disrupt--to try to bring the hermit to despair. All these aspects are part of the hermit's journey--and indeed, of any Christian's seeking and following Christ. The morning following my private profession of vows, my priest director suggested to me three words to strive to live in my hermit vocation: Silence, Solitude, and Slowness. The Holy Spirit added Suffering, Selflessness, Simplicity, Stillness, Stability. and Serenity. 

After nearly 23 years from my consecration by God and profession as a hermit of the Catholic Church, I yet ponder these words from time to time. But truly, the ebb and flow of the hermit vocation has fallen to the background fiber of my existence. His Real Presence has become the mind, heart, and soul of my everyday life, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I fulfill my temporal responsibilities, but my spirit and soul are in Christ to an extent of the actual hermit vocation or my “being a Catholic hermit” is not the focus. 

Rather, my soul in Christ and what I am to be and do for God—His will and purpose for my life of assiduous prayer and penance, for the salvation of all and the world—this has become the substance of my existence. I yearn for the passing from the temporal life, yet currently I am at a juncture point of which is another topic for hermits (and everyone) at some point to consider. Perhaps this is for further discussion, that of the element of family and friends in the life of a hermit--or many topics of what I consider mostly entry externals. 

At some point, when the words express without effort, much may be shared of spiritual progressions, lessons learned, sharing with the Body of Christ the spiritual benefits as well as practical, that come from living a consecrated life of which being consecrated to God is for everyone. Yet for me and some relatively few others, this life is as a consecrated Catholic hermit. 

I’d like to conclude by commenting on the two types of hermits currently available in the Roman Catholic Church to those who have a call by God, to be a hermit in the world today, a hermit of the Catholic Church. As we see from what is written in the Catechism, one may be a privately professed hermit, or one may become a publicly professed hermit, meaning has made vows by approval of a diocese Bishop, and has usually professed the vows in a public Mass, usually with a reception following, plus an article written in the diocese paper or other publications. 

Thus begins the hermit life of a newly approved diocese hermit, via the 1983 canon law 603. The hermit is known by others and usually takes on a title or new name, wears a habit of some sort designating his or her appearance as unique or similar to that of a religious sister or brother. They are seen participating in parish worship and sometimes other duties. Some are employed in a parish in some visible capacity, or as hospital chaplains. They may be approved to live together or have hopes to begin a Lara of hermits or some type of hermit religious order. Some may be installed on monastery grounds and participate in the religious order’s worship, provided housing and meals. 

Then there is yet the traditional, hermit vocational path—that of the earliest hermits and of which I have mostly shared, as this is my hermit path. There has been a growing trend by some including bishops who are only aware of or approached by persons desiring approval for the CL603 diocese hermit path. But it is important for the traditional, historic hermit path, the privately professed vocation, to not be forgotten as a valid and approved basis of the hermit vocation as it has successfully existed and contributed for centuries of Christ's Church. 

Twice in my having to change locations, I tested if the Lord wished of me to be a diocese hermit. I had felt pressure to do so by the increasing popularity of the publicly professed and vows received by the diocese bishop. Each time, the bishops in the two dioceses in which I lived, determined they found my hermit vocation as it is, to be the way to continue. In the first instance, the bishop did not know much about hermit vocations, nor did he want the responsibility of being, as the Canon Law 603 states, the one to direct and guide the hermit. 

Many bishops, busy with leading their dioceses, allow the diocese hermit to choose a spiritual guide including non-clerics, or the bishop assigns a priest to help oversee the diocese hermit. In my current situation and diocese, the bishop, to my surprise, advised me to continue in the privately professed hermit vocation to which God had called me so many years ago. I admire this bishop’s wisdom and perspective, as the traditional, historic hermit vocational path should not become divergent to a point of extinction, or of disapproval, even lacking validity. 

When we examine the now two Church-allowed hermit paths, we can see the challenges in each, but the greater challenge to me has remained that of living as a hermit unknown, unnoticed, non-acclaimed. Yet despite many trials and errors, I remain God’s beloved consecrated hermit--and a Catholic hermit. Indeed, some have stated that a privately professed hermit must not call him- or herself a “Catholic hermit” if not a diocese CL603 hermit. It does not matter, other than why cut off all the Church’s hermits who have lived and died living this more rare but special vocation, when until recent times, there was no created church law establishing other than what always had been? 

Perhaps if this discussion is to continue, there may be reasons why the diocese hermits came to be, as well as many other topics related to those who may wish to explore the hermit vocation for themselves. More importantly, out of sheer interest there's benefits and blessings in learning the realities as opposed to conjectures of a most beautiful, fascinating, and meaningful life God calls some to live of the mystery of His Church—and for others to adapt aspects of this vocation into their otherwise active life vocations. 

The beauty and depth of the spiritual life, no matter hermit or the many other vocations, the sharing that I prefer and have left off years ago describing what is a Catholic hermit and how to become one (usual questions asked while documenting my anonymous hermit spiritual journey), are the topics of the daily living in the Trinity, of navigating a temporal world of which I increasingly do not belong but of which I am placed by God to love to learn to love as God loves, to fulfill my mission, to write in my instance that of how God is so real and demonstratively yet subtly interacts in our every present moments. 

Moving beyond the relative externals of the structure of a hermit vocation, and delving into the living of life in Christ and His Church, seeking union with the Holy Trinity while also being a praise of God's Glory and living God's Law of Love. These are the sharing that intrigue and inspire us all--at least those who have come to a point of awareness that we are nothing in perspective to the reality of God Is All. 

God bless His Real Presence in us, and love in Christ's Love. 

 Solus Deus Hermitage, 8/2/2023

Catholic Hermit: Stepping Back in Briefly to Comment

I received an email from someone who says she so much misses my blog writing and asked if I have another blog presence online?  Yes, I do, but the topic is well hidden and thus far I'm yet discerning if it is misleading or not relevant.  I am NOT at all into new age ideologies now coming under variety of other terms to mislead people. I am finding especially Catholics in parishes who are seeking deeper relationships with God and the Holy Spirit becoming quite duped.

However, I have noticed that one of the main reasons I decided to cease writing on this blog was due to a woman who is canonically approved in her diocese, yet a year ago her vicar general nor her bishop's office were totally unaware that she was a canonically approved hermit in her diocese.  I had written them, finally, after 12 years of her stalking and doxxing, her derisive libel, and her incessantly attacking just about everything that I wrote.

It got to a point that my own writing seemed tainted by a sense of what could be described as a dark if not demonic presence of this woman and at least one other who has in the past been quite nasty in comments left on my blog/s.  I have written under other blog titles depending on my progression in spiritual life, of which I have progressed recently, although I remain very much a consecrated Catholic hermit.  I have been writing of other aspects which include seeking His Real Presence, of course, which is our earthly yearning and seeking and desire of union in the Trinity.

But I was saddened to see that since I stopped writing on this blog site, the canonically approved woman has simply found other non-canonically approved, but very much consecrated and valid Catholic hermits, to attack and debate online, evidently on some list of hermits or a hermit forum.  I have not located such a list, but my life is not created for nor focused on debating over who is humble and who is not, or who is a real or consecrated Catholic hermit and who is not. The woman's obsession continues, and it is the reason I wanted rid of that darkly spiritual, hovering influence.

That is not of God.  I noticed she had stated that I wrote hateful things of CL603. I have never hated the canon law nor written hatefully of it.  I have simply and accurately pointed out that it is not necessary for Catholic hermits, and was not at all what God Himself wanted for me as a hermit.  That was verified by two bishops, and I consider myself saved from intermediary distraction to what God wants of us which is not to be single-minded of purpose and focus on a temporal vocation and who is consecrated and right and who is not, who is humble and who is not.

We are called to come into God's transformational presence, to be aware of His presence in our daily lives, and to love and serve God and to love and serve others, not to be stalking and attacking and having nothing much of spiritual substance to write other than constantly seeking out those who are not canonical Catholic hermits but very much indeed holy Catholic people who are hermits and very much by virtue of their living their vows and professed evangelical counsels and as vital and consecrated in and by Christ as those who seem to need promote themselves as the authority of all of the Church's hermits and to decry and debate and try to blow off anyone who happens to disagree or move beyond the topic which to me became nauseous and noxious, both.

Let the Lord determine His saints, and until then we are all sinners seeking to love and serve God in Himself and to love others as God loves. Jesus can determine who He considers consecrated, and for those hermits who are living the traditional, historical, holy hermit vocation as am I, especially a man who now has become this prideful CL603 woman's focus of attack and debate online, know that I am praying for you.  Please do not get sucked into her web as I had far too often.  

The devil is deceptive and adept at trying to cull us off from our Christian, spiritual purpose no matter what our vocations.  Stay focused on our Lord Jesus Christ, stick with Scripture, pray (the rosary is very good meditative prayer and one the devil despises and will protect you from the likes of such), and rise beyond the muck and dulled topic of which this woman is incapable of thinking or or writing much other. I was informed years ago that this is what she does--wants to be the hermit superior or such.  We all know that Jesus loves and desires and embraces all of us who come to Him.

I'm not more concerned with the amount of new age ideologies infiltrating the Church in various ways, and priests and parishioners not recognizing its insidious and subtle influence.  I'm not sure why Scripture and the writings of saints and their spiritual directors, and theologians of past centuries whose writings have stood the test of time and the fruit born out to be solid and good--is not enough.  There is all the more to sift through and discern with the amount of information in this time of internet and social media, and people able to present themselves however they wish--including a canonical hermit whose vicar general wanted nothing to do with her.  Ouch--the truth hurts. 

We Catholics have to face it, that we must discern much that is out there, including priests, bishops, Catholic colleges and universities, parishioners and programs.  When Jesus says the path is narrow and few are they who are on it, but He calls us to go through the narrow gate--He MEANS IT.  I have very much needed this reminder recently, and it may seem rather lonely and unexciting, but we must decline the other and stick with the narrow path, stick with the Living Word of God, and seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit, God the Father, learn from Jesus Christ, and count on the intercessions and protection of the Virgin Mary, our Heavenly Mother, and our guardian angels and of course the archangels and all of the nine choirs.

God bless you all, and I'm sorry to not be able to direct you to my writing, but for now I ask you to pray for me as I discern what His Real Presence wants of me.  I am praying for each of you, and please do not get waylaid or distracted by such drivel as can be out there that seems enticing or holds some aspects of truth, but not all and of combative or prideful nature.  I leave you with the homily of St. Bernard of Clairvaux--and also the reminder that in current times, people are even using the writings of St. Teresa and of St. Ignatius and rewriting and twisting what these saints wrote and their intentions, and making the guidance and exercises into false agendas that seem tantalizing and promising but you are best off reading the actual writings of these saints and not the adulterated versions being published and gaining great traction.

Saint Bernard (1091-1153)

Cistercian monk and doctor of the Church

First sermon for the feast of Sts. Peter and Paul, 1,3,5

“I have prayed that your faith may not fail; and once you have turned back, you must strengthen your brothers ” (Lk 22:32)

Christ the Mediator “committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth” (1Pt 2:22). How could I venture to draw near him, I who am a sinner, a grievous sinner whose sins are more numerous than the sands of the sea? He is all that is most pure, I am all that is most impure (...)This is the reason why God has given me these apostles, men and sinners – very grievous sinners – who learnt for themselves, through their own experience, how merciful they should be to others. Guilty themselves of great offenses, they will grant a ready pardon to great offenses and repay us according to the measure meted out to them (Lk 6:38). The apostle Peter committed a very great sin, possibly the greatest of all. He received a forgiveness for it that was as swift as it was ready, even to not losing anything of the privilege of his primacy. And Paul, who unleashed unrestrained aggression against the newborn Church, was brought to faith at the call of God's Son himself. In return for so many evils he was filled with such great blessings that he became “a chosen instrument to carry the Lord's name before Gentiles, kings and Israelites” (Acts 9:15) (...) Peter and Paul are our teachers: they learned the way of life fully from the one Teacher of all and continue to teach us today.

Catholic Hermit, God's Hermit: Joan of Arc; Still Simmering

Writing is such an integral part of my existence, including pain management.  The pain requires "activity" of sorts to help distract, but the pain also needs lots of rest; so the body needs to take many breaks and sometimes is in bed for days or mostly in bed over weeks, or now it's been over a year.  The type of pain over a year ago had more to do with the spinal cord increasingly being pinched off--nearly totally, plus the other nerves impeded and a disintegrated vertebra and bone spurs a' plenty.  All that is repaired, but the pain post surgery has more to do with the Adhesive Arachnoiditis.

So it goes.  Ordered some better quality B-complex that the pain doctor had told me would absorb best in the system.  B-complex plus separate, added B-12 helps with pain, as does Vitamin D in far more amounts than a non-pained body.  But I had some less-absorptive B-Complex here in Solus Deus Hermitage, and I like to be thrifty.  I decided to use up what I have before re-ordering the B-complex methylcobalamin. 

But I woke up this morning with the thought (brought by my angel or Holy Spirit or some caring being from the other side) in my mind of what might help the bodily fatigue and added pain.  I also took an iron supplement and am trying to drink more water as well as with plant protein powder.  I tend to not eat much as the body seems not to require much food, am more vegan than not--although I have no particular reason.  I prefer vegetables, fruits, nuts, legumes, grains; but I'm not rigid against eating meat or fish.  Regardless, it will take a month, perhaps, to notice improvement if some of this draining pain and fatigue is helped by the methylcobalamin form of B-complex.  

And yes, I praise God for being able to purchase vitamins and supplements of various types, and healthy food which tends toward a diet that is non-inflammatory type.  As I have quipped in the past and it serves a very good purpose and with some humor as I age:  We do our best with what we've got left!

Today is the 100th Anniversary of St. Joan of Arc's canonization on May 16, 1920.  Pope Benedict XVI  described her trial in May of 1431 as "a distressing page in the history of holiness and also an illuminating page on the mystery of the Church which, according to the words of the Second Vatican Council, is 'at once holy and always in need of purification' (Lumen Gentium, n. 8)."  

At the time of the trial the Catholic clerics had their minds made up to burn her at the stake in Rouen's [France] marketplace.  They were opposed to her politically as well as found her mystical gifts unnerving.  She died by fire on the morning of May 30, repeating the Holy Name of Jesus as her soul left her 19-year-old body.

In 2011, Pope Benedict XVI said of St. Joan, "...the Name of Jesus, invoked by our Saint until the very last moments of her earthly life was like the continuous breathing of her soul, like the beating of her heart, the centre of her whole life...with her luminous witness St. Joan of Arc invites us to a high standard of Christian living:  to make prayer the guiding motive of our days; to have full trust in doing God's will, whatever it may be; to live charity without favouritism, without limits and drawing, like her, from the love of Jesus a profound love for the Church."

I so love Jeanne d'Arc!  This morning I listened to Leonard Cohen's creation of the song in her honor, sung as a duet with Jennifer Warnes, including creative juxtaposition of art representative of the saint.  [link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtwUyDPXROQ].  In fact, I've been praying, asking Joan of Arc to help me find God's will and way for my embarkation to the New Direction.  She is answering my request, helping me today.

While the ingredients, per se, of the New Direction remain on "simmer", ideas are solidifying in the metaphoric slow-cooker.  Back up a day.  Yesterday I had a lengthy conversation with Dr. H.  I caught him up-to-date as best I could, on the CL603 dilemma I faced with the increasing lack of peace of the Holy Spirit that God willed what He had not desired for 20 years.  I'd answered in writing the questions had been asked.  But the major aspect for me personally, was the looming interview with a non-cleric that would be most difficult to avoid aspects of my inner life, my mystical experiences.  The lack of inner peace grew.

Thus, Fr. V. emailed and suggested I email the bishop and explain--share my "story" with him so that he might understand my spiritual predicament as well as the conviction and vision/locution and other reasons why all these years, living the hermit vocation without public profession or as a diocese hermit, seemed God's will and also was best for hidden life other than my anonymous writing.  Then, Fr. V. said, if the bishop approved of my living the vocation as I had been, or if not, I was to simply go forth living the hermit life God had chosen for me, and live it as a fulfilled hermit.

It took a day to absorb the bishop's response.  I repeated in my words in an email to the chancellor, to see if I was grasping the bishop's email to me.  Yes, I had grasped it, the chancellor replied to my encapsulation, to wit:  "I think I am grasping what Bishop means.  A canon law does not seem to be necessary; it does not validate a vocation.  It is but an official recognition, of which I do not need.  I must simply keep on living the life to which God has called me. "

However, there remains the turning point, the major shift in life phase that I've been sensing with increasing magnitude and inner energy--if not some inner angst. Through the trial, of sorts, of build up of canon law approval process and the growing certitude within that God wanted me to in essence choose Him over the CL603 "official" recognition, I was taken through a desert all its own, of great sense of loss and abandonment.  

I am brought to face the reality that I did not sense, do not--with increasing means over the 25 years of God's gradually removing me--fit in with the temporal Catholic world and not in parishes, per se.  This is difficult to explain, for yes, I am part of the Body of Christ, but my purpose and mission involves the mystical realm, and the Lord has been showing me by His withdrawing me in more temporal, tangible ways over time--despite my lack of cooperation.  Yet through various efforts all very good, of my offering my temporal gifts and talents to the temporal aspects of parishes and Church, the Lord always pulled me out although sometimes allowed what I'd offered to remain and continue in the corporal and spiritual works of mercy organized and developed.  

But sometimes not; in many instances the Lord allowed the efforts to dissolve, which I could not understand the why, which added to the upset.  Yet I would continue on, trying yet again, until the Lord had my angel show me to the Stairway to Heaven.  The mystical ecstasy during Masses began and remained no matter prayer nor temporal efforts, for the mystical phenomenon to stop.

Yesterday Dr. H. asked me why I'd be wanting to develop, organize, lead or set up others to lead various good works in parishes or dioceses, when I had this inner life and also was called to the hermit vocation?  I explained that I felt guilty, of sorts, that God had given me gifts and talents, educational background and skills, and I kept thinking it was wrong for me not to offer myself in that way to the temporal Church.  

Indeed, in one major instance that the Virgin Mary came to me in a dream and instructed me in a major outreach I was to organize and lead--and also in a couple of miraculous grants bringing huge sums of money to a parish school and soup kitchen--those kept going even though the Lord plucked me out.  Was a terribly painful episode.  I have not understood other than a penance.  Was soon after that the Lord made it known to me that He chose for me the hermit vocation--a vocation that I'd not have ever chosen for myself nor even knew much about at the time.  

Yet as I write this now, I get it!  For the first time in all these years, I realize the chronology: the soup kitchen the Virgin Mary had me develop and the grants written were prior to my hermit profession and vow; the other efforts afterward when I left the hometown and was called to a city, I was then in my  hermit life.  And while I had some assignments for God that I had to complete which brought their own trials and sufferings, the offerings in organizing and developing what would otherwise be excellent for parishes and the diocese--were oddly not allowed to flourish--and I emphasize oddly.  There is no other logical explanation why my efforts in offering temporal gifts, talents, education did not flourish after being developed, and not even being able to be a lector or a sacristan lasted when the mystical ecstasies at Mass began.  

God was enforcing and forming my hermit life; and He also was trying to get me to understand that I did not belong to that world.  I was shown that, told it in locutions, and also told it in temporal ways.  I literally had priests tell me as such; one listed very positive things of me, but said I could not come to his parish because a mystic like me--the parishioners would crucify me, and he'd not be able to stop them.

Then I moved to a location in which there was one small parish, and the priest was most uncomfortable with my presence; and the state at Mass was as if I'd be chained in hell.  My (late) spiritual father told me not to go--to have spiritual communion in my hermitage.  Then a new priest came a two years later, but he did not want me at Mass due to the mystical state.  So I remained away and had spiritual communion until finally that priest had a couple bring Communion on Sundays when they were able.

Up to the past year and a half in this diocese.  The Lord brought me here due to temporal aspects: financial feasibility, better climate for pain situation, pain doctor, and excellent surgeon (as it turns out desperately needed spine surgery).  The parish priest wanted me to be at Mass but with needed caution, in a day chapel; but even being at Mass has not been for a long time due to the spine surgery, and now COVID-19: older adults are to not come to Mass until further notice, potentially not until a vaccine is available.

And all this back history helps me in facing what God has been trying for a long earth-time, to get me to grasp.  I truly need to stop stressing and freaking out over what did not make sense to me, or seemed surely not right.  I truly do not belong in the temporal Catholic world, not in the parishes, not in religious orders, and not as a specific CL603 hermit.  But I do belong in His Church; I do have a "place" in the Church.  I belong in the mystical Catholic world; I am to be a Catholic hermit but no need to be officially recognized as the canon law does not validate the vocation, anyway.  God validates the vocation by His choosing and how one lives it.  My "place" is in the mystical Church and as a mystic, which leads me to the embarkation in the New Direction. 

There is a growing peace of understanding, of my letting go of that which I have not understood as to why I was to let go.  It would be difficult for more temporally-utilized souls to grasp, for even I could not "see" why or how God would not want what seems so good, why I was prohibited one way or another or several.  Even now, it is irrefutable, even down to the bishop's email which was such good news I could not comprehend what he was saying for a day.  Needed to go over it and asked Fr. V. to go over it to help me understand if this means I can be what God chose for me--a Catholic hermit but in the way He wills.  It makes much sense, of course, that the canon law recognized and diocese hermit in a parish would not be advisable or helpful to church or to mystic hermit.

And that is where the Lord has been leading me today in clearer understanding of the New Direction.  It is actually where He's had me for some time--really since my angel told me I was being taken to the Stairway to Heaven shortly before the ecstasies during Masses began.  I was being taken out of the temporal Catholic world, in essence as well as increasingly in tangible, practical, physicality.  Even the canon law aspect for a hermit is suited for non-mystic, more temporal Catholic world persons.  Perhaps that is even why the CL603 hermit who also writes of hermit life regularly, has been at odds with my Catholic hermit vocation and how God unfolds it, as well as my writing.

Different brushstrokes by the Master Artist on the same Masterpiece of His One Catholic and Apostolic Church.  But frankly, I have run out of much at all to write about of the hermit vocation.  It is a vehicle, is the vocation, to get  a soul from one point to another in the spiritual journey.  It will be my vehicle for life as I assume it will be for the CL603 hermit/s.  Not often in history has the Lord called a hermit out of the vocation to some other of His purposes. 

And while I've been shown that the CL603 hermit vocation has taken on a different format from the traditional historical hermit vocation, I have nothing more to write of the differences; I've written plenty, and it is not even subject matter that my mind, heart, and soul enjoys. That tells one, in itself, that my choosing what God chose for me as His hermit is best for a mystic soul who would no more fit into the canon law public profession and diocese recognition than I did in leading parish or diocese programs and outreach activities.

I've written much about hermit saints and hermit ways and hermit traditions and history, and hermit writings and wisdoms.  I have written, though, also, of the daily type unfolding of my life as a consecrated Catholic hermit (not CL603 type), and of various other aspects of my spiritual journey which has been from my viewpoint both blessed and chaotic.  But I really have nothing more to write on the hermit vocation "vehicle".   I leave that to others to write-- CL603 in all aspects they desire or on whatever else of hermit vocation.  

Back to yesterday's phone call.  Dr. H. said he'd been thinking about me prior to our phone discussion, as we've known each other for 35 years.  He said, he had to admit, that he would never want to have to live my life.  We laughed.  I wouldn't want it, either; but I've got it, and perhaps it will proceed with fewer--at least external--jolts and lightning bolts in whatever time remains for me on this earth, than the previous years.

But as for a New Direction, yes.  I am getting it, Lord, my mind is getting it; and I am fully, whole-heartedly on board!  Even my soul is eager and thankful and pleased with the New Direction!  My hermit vocation vehicle remains as always, but it is like someone who has been driving a vehicle so long, for years and years, that it is as if driving and the vehicle are second-nature.  There is far more at hand, before me, that God desires of me.  

I see the holy mountain as through the clearing fog.  Who is it that will climb the holy mountain?  The Scriptures describe.  Becoming a sherpa or finding one or several, will be helpful.  I'm embarking in the New Direction.  The plans are still simmering, but nearly cooked and to be served, garnishes to be decided upon.

God bless His Real Presence in us!

God's Hermit: Getting Clarification

A Catholic hermit or God's hermit, or something other, I am awaiting clarification.  I did kindly get word from the bishop.  All is well as far as it goes, but I asked for two specific clarifications so as to make sure I am on solid and accurate status as to my vocation, the term or wording. 

As to the tremendous loss and sense of the deepest abandonment and suffering of soul that I've been experiencing, the Lord thankfully provided last night some needed help and understanding.  From a video of a lecture by the theologian and scholar Bernard McGinn, I am relieved to have a diagnosis, I guess one could call it, of what ails me so tremendously, currently:  mystical dereliction.  

As McGinn spoke on this phenomenon or affliction that occurs at some point in a mystic's spiritual journey, and can be more than once or extend over time, a relief came and a knowing that the Lord is taking care of me; He is looking out for me.  Although I must face the reality that I truly do not "belong" per se or fit in, or have a "place" in such as parishes and of the temporal Catholic world, per se, my sense of belonging to the mystical Church and that the great sorrow of parting, of loss, of feeling alone among those who do fit in and belong, who have a "place" in parishes and the temporal Church, is a real experience but also mystical at its genesis or roots.  The experiential sensation and existential reality will lessen at some point; I will adapt.  

In temporal aspects my misfit circumstances are actual.  My not having the energy to keep up with having to present the outer of what is not the inner, creates the sense of sadness and loss all the more.  The weariness grows with the increase of physical pain:  an inner and outer crucifixion, this temporal-mystical reality.  But there is breakthrough simply in the knowing that this has a name, this mystical dereliction.  It is reassuring in the familiarity I have with the mystics that McGinn used as examples--other real human beings who suffered similar mystical lives as I have lived and will until my earthly death.  May it come soon, Lord!

No matter what, all this will pass.  I will pass through this new-to-me level of horrific spiritual dereliction.  Dereliction, the word itself, says it all even to the point of inner and outer, mystical and physical, spiritual and temporal dilapidation.  I still am not intended by the Lord to need canonical approval as a diocese hermit.  The bishop seemed to write of this to me, but in my exhaustive emptying out and being filled with such pain of body, mind, heart, and soul that I am unable to function even when I try to push out of bed just now, to roll the trash bins to the curb, hidden in the darkness of night--I cannot grasp the bishop's full meaning.  So I sent it on to Fr. V. to please read and interpret, make sure I understand what the bishop is saying, what he means so that I am certain in his urging me to continue living the life that I obviously believe strongly the Lord has called me to live.

The pain has been so extreme that the electronic interference has annoyed me and wearied me all the more.  The laptop keeps going into some odd mode of the entire screen collapsing into about an inch-square, with a notice of a default os some sort.  This happens repeatedly over the past three days, requiring me to click on "ignore" and then use the cursor to take each corner of the tiny square and expand to full screen once again, and clear the mode that has locked.  My phone dialed someone's number--I had no idea who--when I merely set the phone on a stool when I'd gone to the kitchen on way to garage to deal with readying the trash bins to take to the curb.  The phone would not allow me to click on another screen to even see whose number was being accessed.  

This type of electronic interference is part and parcel of some aspects of my life and has been for years--telekinesis of sorts--but higher levels of pain and the stress that creates in the bodily system then increases the interference instances. I cannot get the phone to stop the call so wait until I hear a voice.  Thankfully, it is a voice I recognize--a cousin.  Thankfully, also, the cousin understands about the phone and the electronic interference that results from my weird magnetic waves connected sometimes to the physical pain--and I've not shared how these aspects can happen not connected with pain and did in the years before the 1987 spine surgeries....

But I'm worn out with not only the physical pain and the mystical dereliction, but also the weirdness in general yet praise God it was the cousin whose voice I heard and not someone whose voice I'd not recognize.  Dr. H. called a bit later and is going to call again on Friday, but the first words he said to me were, saying my name and then a firm but with humor...and you are not at all crazy!  I mustered a laugh but said that I am so fatigued with various aspects crescendoing at once, or so it seems, and said at least I have an understanding for a major aspect and explained the "mystical dereliction" that I'd by chance learned via a youtube recorded lecture last evening.

I truly am most fortunate in the ways God reaches in when He knows I'm "done in" by too much in all levels and dimensions with added new aspects and elements enough that I cannot say that I've experienced this or that mystical effect prior--and often enough the devil gets involved enough so that I do not recognize the mystical elements of the sensations and onslaught of suffering in multiple levels.

I do realize that my writing has been incohesive--disjointed, convoluted, perhaps.  At times I've wondered if the physical pain being so terribly intense is a problem more than the inner sensing spiritually, such as the tremendous mystical dereliction--again, this word that describes perfectly, all.  Thus I put into draft a couple of posts, and I do not know yet, as mentioned above am asking clarification of the bishop on two aspects or points.  So I do not know yet if I will conclude this blog post as Catholic hermit or not.  As to what I will write or when, the Lord will need to guide me in whatever way or through whomever temporally or otherwise. And, given the high level of pain and its effect on what to me seems an inability of written expression, I might not write at all even if it has been cathartic and also a means for me to rise out of the pained, temporal body.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  The burning of the body, the pain throbbing and burning terribly much, nauseates.  It is as if I am being crucified repeatedly.  All that of CL603 and my not finding it inspiring or necessary seems like foolishness to me right now in comparison to very real, temporal suffering as if the blood will burst through my feet and hips, spine and head.  Who knows if what I try to express even in the above, makes any cognitive sense to a reader,  not that it needs to or is even helpful.  All I know is that I love God and His Church immensely, and the sorrow of facing the reality that such ones as myself are not meant for utilization other than hidden under His wings or tucked deep within His Heart:  solitary confinement in His protective custody.  I suppose is anchorite more than hermit, mystic more than person.