Catholic Hermit: Loneliness, Solitude

The other day, came across a small piece of old holy card or such.  Had pasted it on a postcard, thinking would send it to someone, sometime.  It was in a box stored in attic garret, amidst some stationery.  The citation cut off, the quote seems to be a private message from His Real Presence to someone.

"I shall lead you through the loneliness,
the solitude you will not understand;
but it is My shortcut in your soul."

How appropriate for a hermit, or anyone, really.

The definition of "loneliness" has with it the suggestion of sadness and of a state in which a person does not want to be--left to oneself, without company, sadly alone, or even desolate.  The definition of solitude is similar but also includes the essence of peace and tranquility in being left to oneself or alone, as if more a choice to be so.

Last week a friend from far away visited with an adult son.  They brought their lunch, and with the hermit ate our simple fare on the back deck among the cut wood ends, sawdust, compound miter saw and bench, and garden supplies.  The friend mentioned how we are made to be with others, to have community, and that perhaps the hermit needed more to be around people.  The comment was relative to a discussion of the area and the past two years, and the irony of neighbors here staying to themselves and the difficulty with hired help returning to finish what are tail ends of jobs and instead go off to larger, more lucrative work.

It all seemed fine with the hermit, once it understood that more than the finishing of a hermitage and above any temporal affect, the Lord wishes the hermit to learn various virtues, particularly that of total and complete faith, patience, and perseverance in hardship.  So it seemed humorous, when viewed with God's plans and goals for this one here, at this time of life, to see the irony in God's providing for the greater good of an exile experience.

At other times, the solitude can veer more to a feeling of the sorrowful aspect of "loneliness", or of a sense of desolation--IF the hermit loses the view of goodness in being graced with and cooperating with, striving with, some great virtues, particularly faith.  And it is not just faith, but total and complete faith--a high degree of faith, a degree nearing perfection of faith as an ultimate desire.

The friend commented that it does not seem "right" that the hermit have this much solitude, which seems rather extreme to some, for sure.  Yet there really are no options.  It is not as if the hermit can pick up and move back into civilization, for the hermitage remains unsalable, and the finances do not allow chucking it.  In our time period, money is needed for a hermit to live elsewhere, to rent a room or live in a campsite!  We don't have the option of finding some cave to move into.  The caves are on private property or on government park property; it all takes money and an approval of the land owner, and then there are such realities as health codes governing living with running water and having heat, trash disposal, paying taxes, and so forth.

When the friend emphasized that it does not seem right for a person to live in such solitude, and that God made us to be with others in a community--the hermit said it had recently pondered that, as well.  Jesus did not exemplify or advocate a hermit way of life, as his going off for 40 days was a suggestion of such, or spending nights alone in prayer, but he was not a hermit by vocation.  But then, the hermit commented to the friend that He did not live a married vocation, nor was he a temple priest.

The friend smiled and said had not thought of that.  The friend had been in the married vocation, and Jesus had not.  But Jesus knew of those who were essentially hermits:  many of the prophets, including John the Baptist.  They lived lives of solitude to varying degrees and for varying lengths of time. Some returned more to people, or people sought them out, or they came upon people like Elijah had, or Jeremiah--sent to deliver messages--or John the Baptist to prepare the way for people to recognize and turn to the Messiah.

They were called prophets, not hermits, back then.  Many were called other words, as well, by those who did not understand how God would utilize such rather extreme-type humans, their sights set on God above all things, with a stricter separation from the world, more hidden from the eyes of men and some very hidden so much so that there are no doubt many who did not find mention in Scriptures.  The names of the Essenes (John the Baptist's and Jesus' forbearers) are for the most part buried with their bones in the desert or mountains.

The friend and son left after meaningful conversation and some manual labor help (so grateful!).  The hermit then uncovered this bit of post card upon which years ago it had glued the little quote and image with it; and God spoke to the hermit this reminder and reason for the seeming enforced solitude and nuances of loneliness.  Again: "I shall lead you through the loneliness,
                               the solitude you will not understand;
                               but it is My shortcut in your soul."

Yet the hermit does understand the solitude to a point--in that it has become obvious through circumstances these past couple or more years of exile.  (And, the hermit's friend and friend's son visited; and the hermit's adult daughter and her family visit once every month or two.)  God has ordained and set forth the circumstances and allowed that there is really no way out of this degree of solitude in exile, until such time as the hermit dies or loses ability to function, or is slowly able to have the place livable to most human's desires...and salable by current, real estate market standards. 

What the hermit had forgotten, in part, is the reason for God's choosing and allowing this time of exile, of a greater degree of solitude, silence--and at times seemingly to the nuance of current defined loneliness as desolation.  Rather, "The solitude is His Real Presence's shortcut to the hermit's soul."  It is in the solitude that He will teach, hone, convert, conform, and unite the hermit's soul to His Real Presence.

Thus, the solitude, the loneliness, are most welcome guests here.  The loneliness loses that aspect of definition as desolate and forlorn as if not acceptable to others or shunned.  No, the solitude and loneliness of a hermit is not even so much of its own efforts or choosing and in fact ought not be other than its total surrender to God's will.  The solitude and loneliness of a hermit, in genuine aspects as result of going with God's flow, is that of God's choosing and orchestrating the silent sounds of His Real Presence in the soul.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another and remain together in His Love.  In His Love is our conjoint spiritual communion and community mystically lived.

Catholic Hermit on Call

One must strive to exist in the Order of the Present Moment, to go with God's flow.

Am in civilization until another day, on call to help out a person asking assistance.  It happens rarely, and yes, it is difficult physically especially when the pain is at the upper echelons.  But there is a goodness in making the effort as well as a goodness in being asked.  There are physical benefits, as well, such as being able to have a hot shower, a bit of human conversation, as well as being immersed in others' way of life and their perspectives, needs, and environment.

This consecrated Catholic hermit has been so slogged into the temporal dregs of existence and the temporal aspects of pain recently, that friends out there far beyond, have been uplifting the hermit with prayers and words of encouragement in emails.  The hermit is reminded just how very much aspects of temporal life, of that which is below, can hinder the mind, heart, and spirit from seeking the things of God and seeing His Beautiful.

The hermit's will is obviously weak, and the physical pain reduces the mind and emotions to lessened ability to perceive what otherwise could be overlooked.

A child mentioned that its two cats that love him dearly, have lately started to ignore him when someone else comes around.  The cats, he says, go to the other person rather than loyally sticking by him and playing.  So he said he had stopped playing much with his cats, since surely they did not care that much for him anymore....

An adult made some comments that rather wounded the emotions.  Then a parent made comments regarding the child, regarding how frustrating, and why does he not just do as asked?  Why go against what he is told, when it would be so simple to just do as asked and then have the time to play, and so forth?  The child's choices and ploys were getting to the parent, just as some of the adult's comments to the hermit had gotten to the hermit.

Then the reminder came from what the hermit had been reading and realizing as insights from His Real Presence and the Living Word just last week in the daily Gospel readings at Mass.  Do not be of earth, or below; seek that which is above, be with God above.  And, the hermit remembered what it was already noticing in its own life when the temporal fought for the mind and heart and spirit's attention, sucking it back into the below, into the dragnets of the temporal--and not of that of the temporal which leads and assists us to seek the things of God above and to find God's Beautiful.

So the hermit mentioned to the child that his cats were playing "mind games" with him.  "Don't let those two rascal cats get away with it!  Just keep playing with and loving them.  Don't let them pull this over on you or get you to think they do not love you as much as they always have.  They are just being little 'kiddies.'"

Then the hermit mentioned to the adult, the parent, to keep a sense of humor and not let the child play "mind games" with her.  Pull the bluff with the child. Pick and choose the issues to confront and the ones of which the child is seeking a childish reaction or attempting to get the parent's "goat."

Then the hermit reminded itself to not let the comments of others to get it down, to pull it back to the temporal and to self, and the self of the temporal aspects that stymie and do not lead the hermit's mind, heart, and spirit to the things of God.  And keep trying to not let the temporal pain remain in the temporal aspects that seem hopeless and so ravaging as to deplete the hermit and cause it to let down the armor of His Real Presence.

None of the comments, the bits of "mind games" we human "animals" play even if we do not mean to or realize, or the perceptions we hold from the past, of the temporal, are going to matter much.  They are what they are, and we can ask forgiveness for things we have said and done no matter how they were perceived by others.  But mostly we just have to keep existing by the grace of God in the Order of the Present Moment and go with God's flow.

Probably the best thing to seek of the things of God and His Beautiful, is His Perspective--His View. And the View of God--God's View--includes very much His View of His Created Temporal as it pertains to being treads and risers on the Stairway to Heaven.

Now, one last evening of civilization and temporal duty calls.  The consecrated nothing Catholic hermit will drag its very painful physical body up and out of bed, make some supper for the child, drive him to a baseball game, and painfully sit and stand--down and up and up and down while watching the child play the sport, giving as much full attention in the temporal yet with the fullness of body, mind, heart, and spirit seeking God's View.

The previous baseball game a couple evenings ago featured an unexpected event.  A young boy who had been skateboarding in the park nearby, fell and sustained a serious arm break.  The bone was broken through the skin and muscle--plenty of blood and excruciating pain--and onlookers galore. Thankfully, a man guided the injured boy to a bench and called paramedics, and then notified the boy's mother.  It took quite awhile, with the baseball game getting started amidst the ambulance and fire truck and medics working on the injured child, to get him stabilized in order to place him on a gurney and off to a hospital.  A break like that is quite serious, including the shock that occurs. Spirit, emotions, mind...into bodily reactions, and then return through the process:  body, mind, heart, spirit.

The consecrated Catholic hermit, a nothing to all but all to God, prayed for the child and watched the ballgame.  We are all, always on call.

Catholic Hermit: Effect of Noise and Activity

For a consecrated Catholic hermit, the institutes of the Catholic Church stipulate a stricter separation or withdrawal from the world in silence and solitude, among some other specifications.  But to take the silence and solitude, as an example, a hermit can realize the effects of noise and activity after having lived the hermit life for several years.

Four days were spent in civilization.  Of the four, three were spent in quiet, with two family members.  The hermit remained mostly in their home, helping out with some manual labor and in loving rapport.  Three or four times the hermit assisted by running an errand, taking one of the family members to a couple activities, and joined in on a third activity.

The effect of the activities that placed the hermit among several others, even if in contained settings, is notable.  In each, the hermit found itself focusing on a book, or one of the family members, or in a conversation (cell phone) such as with the spiritual father, long-distance.  Without realizing, the hermit needed to eliminate the external stimuli of the temporal world.  The hermit is no longer used to the noise, the distractions, the outer activities, great numbers of souls embodied and busy with every day life.

The temporal world has its very good aspects.  It is marvelous to live an active life in the lay vocations of marriage and single life.  Families are blessed; the activities of a loving family are necessary for socialization, development of skills and talents, and to prepare for a career.  God's created world and all the lovely people in it, are cause for celebration and joy.  Live life to the full!

But for one called to the eremitic life, and for one who has been living that life for several years of praise of God, assiduous prayer and penance, of stricter separation from the world in silence and solitude--returning to the other is much like being dunked into icy-cold water when not conditioned to it.

This nothing Catholic hermit considers St. Bruno.  After a few years living what would later be known as the Carthusian life, as a hermit who had been a priest teaching at university in Cologne, Germany in 11th century--he was called to leave the silence and solitude of the Grande Chartreuse to assist the pope in Rome.  As soon as Bruno could, he finished what was requested by the pope.  Bruno established a charterhouse in Italy in similar format to the first charterhouse in France. There he lived out his hermit life, separated from the world in praise of God, prayer and penance, in silence and solitude.

For this Catholic hermit, the final day in civilization was spent in a skating arena.  A family member participated in speed skating races.  The hermit found itself focusing, of course, on the family member during his events, and otherwise observed a few people from time to time.  But mostly it withdrew silently into the soul, alone with God in thoughts of praise and love of the strangers all about.  It also pondered family members and friends, prayerfully and lovingly--those dotted throughout the country and around the world, past and present, living in the world and living in eternity.

Now and then, however, the noise and activity became such that the hermit's chronic pain increased so as to distract from the ability to be stilled within.  Then, the hermit would go to the truck to rest--even dozed for awhile.  One of the family members inside the skating arena signalled with cell phone when the skater began warm-ups for the next race.  A couple other times the hermit retreated to the out-of-doors, where traffic noise and people coming and going seemed minimal in comparison to the enclosed arena, where a couple hundred, kinetically charged people, were confined.

Therein were the racers, their families and friends, the announcers on loud speakers, and skating officials.  Four large screens mounted on the walls across from where onlookers stood and sat, displayed three different television cable stations' programs--national college basketball playoffs, a national skating event somewhere, a reality show.  Music blared constantly, as well.  Some in the gallery, watching skaters in the arena, also spoke on cell phones, texted, engaged with electronic tablets, or played tech games.  Little children played with toys or chased one another about; the snack bar had a constant line of hungry participants and observers, both.

Today the hermit is exhausted.  The pain level is high for various reasons.  A certain aspect of the increased pain and weariness is the shock in contrast to a life otherwise of praise and prayer:  of stricter separation from the world, in silence and solitude.

Amazing how the body, mind, heart, and soul adapt to a way of life.  Even a temporary change to the marvelous world with its people and noise and activities--nothing evil about it but busy!--can have quite an effect on a hermit.

Does the hermit have an effect on the persons busy in the world, doing what they do as part of their own vocations? Had not considered this aspect until just now while writing. Surely the presence of the hermit--not visible as a hermit by any external garb, items, or symbols--had some effect just as each and every soul has an effect upon its environment, people in their surroundings, and all of God's creation.

Even if alone in a hermitage, such as now, the bee that has come into the room via the attic space above, senses the hermit as does the hermit sense the bee.  At some point, the hermit will get its very pained body up and out of bed, open the window, and use a prod to guide the bee outside where it can better live its own vocation, its own purpose in life here on God's created earth.

A hermit who on occasion or for specific events, for charity's sake, re-enters the noise and activity of the world and the dear people in the world, ought keep in mind that its hermit life goes with it, despite the environmental altering.  The praise and prayer, the penance, continue yet are unnoticed outwardly.  The silence and solitude continues, despite being challenged.

This nothing Catholic hermit is reminded of the inspiration of--was it just two weeks ago?--to "Go with God's flow."  Yes, the noise and activity in the beautiful, busy aspects of the world affect the hermit's pain level and energy.  So today the hermit must rest and recover physically.  Physical pain affects the mind and emotions, and the mind and emotions affect the soul.  Time to go with God's flow:  through Him, with Him, in Him.

The work of making running water feasible in the hermitage is put off to another hour, or day.  Perhaps it will take all effort to carry in the 2x4's from the truck and to unload the pine tongue-in-groove ceiling boards.

First, though, to praise God for the bee and to pray for its careful and safe deliverance from inside the window to outside, where it can wing its way in the fresh air and fulfill its mission for which it is created and imbued by God.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another!  Remain in His Love, no matter where our bodies may find themselves!

Going with God's Flow

First the pneumonia with sinus infection tossed in for good measure.  Then a family member who helped do lots of lifting to make more room inside for eventual drywall installation, hurt her elbow. 

Next, Mark the electrician and the hermit made great progress running 3" ABS pipe from upstairs to down and under the house; but he became ill before his return.  All that is on hold as it takes more strength than a post-pneumonia hermit has to pull apart the large plumbing elbows, dry fit, to then glue and shove back together for the finale.

Then Raphael and men were to arrive a couple weeks ago. But that got postponed to this past Tuesday.  Then no show, but he came by and said they'd be here today, Saturday.  No show again.  Am praying first of all that he nor his men have been in an accident or ill.  Then am praying that if not the either of these, it is just the reality that not many people can cope with working on this tedious and obstacle-ridden hermitage. 

Yes, this place is a virtue builder for those who have the courage to begin with, to enter in.  So courage may be one of the first of begged virtues, and patience follows closely in the grace-requests!

The good in all the shifts in plans and work efforts, and in all details of daily and nightly life--is that the Catholic hermit is learning to go with God's flow in very temporal ways.  Also, it is learning to turn absolutely the most detailed of temporal into the spiritual reality. Deus vult!--a good exclamation.  God wills it!  

And, all the while, the very good in all the postponements, delays, illness and recovery, is that the nothing Catholic hermit has been working hard at trying to do all that needs to be done to make the heavier efforts more do-able for the strong workers.

Yesterday, for example, the nothing Catholic hermit used the reciprocating saw to cut through nails and 2x4's that had secured a 2'x2' window for over 50 years, in the old kitchen.  It took much effort and strength to wrangle that heavy thing (lots of old wood still attached) out of its space in the wall, and drop it gently to the ground outside, beneath.  The effort then turned to carefully measuring and figuring the king stud length and placement, the jack studs (support the header), and figure all the cripple studs that support the new window, itself.  Heights and lengths must be figured to within 1/2-inch, and all must be level.

Tuckered out before project completion; but figured since Raphael, Francisco, and Juan would be here the next morning (today!), tacking some insulation board over the opening to the great outdoors, would suffice for a night.  Now, am wondering, as even if the hermit finishes framing and cutting out what will be a 4'x4' window opening (am repurposing a window removed from upstairs that was replaced by a 6'x6' window)--the hermit cannot, on its own strength, lift in the 4'x4' window.  

Ah, God will provide!  Either the guardian angel will help with some super strength in the hermit, or else Jeff the Deputy (and devout Catholic!) might be in the area.  Perhaps he will help lift it in, once the hermit completes the framing. Lifting in takes 5 minutes or less.

Today's mood in the nothing Catholic hermit reflects the sun in this land of exile.  What else is desert life to be?  Life in the Son and sun.  Life in God's will and God's time.  Life in praise and prayer and perseverance against whatever the earthly odds and obstacles!

Today the nothing Catholic hermit celebrates the nearing of the third Sunday of Lent.  Plus, after gradually loading the used pick-up truck (christened Precious Blood), today brought the final loading, tarping, and securing.  Then off to the dump!  

Why the celebration?  Well, the 51st,  52nd, and 53rd dead rats (a 16-incher the last--and queasily fresh) were in that load, plus lots of old plumbing torn out of old kitchen and from under the hermitage.  And, today marks the passage of the 5-tons in poundage gutted, loaded, and unloaded over the past, nearly two years.   The hermitage itself is far lighter...and Light!  Surely God is in this place!  Te Deum Hermitage Beth-el!

The 10, 240 pounds of now-dumped debris does not include the first contractor's pricey load (back when the hermit was quite naive and trusting of such men, such princes).  The Catholic hermit was charged $240 for one dump run, of which the actual cost at the dump was, it later learned: $67.... Glory be to God that the hermit listened to the Holy Spirit in procuring Precious Blood, even if it means four more years of monthly payments.  That used pick-up has been a blessing, and has saved so much of God's money!

In life, through the errors and gullibilities, through the trials and triumphs, through the tears and prayers, we learn that all belongs to His Real Presence.  Time is God's.  Our daily bread is God's.  Money is God's.  Health is God's.  Body is God's. Energy is God's.  Breath is God's.  Blood is God's.  We are God's.  

All is God, and we are nothing.  The tears and supplications become prayers of affection and praise!  God provides, for He is All.  We receive for we are nothing more (nor less!) than His beloved children; and He loves us, one and all.

Yes, we learn to go with God's flow.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another!  Remain in His Love-- and go with God's flow!