Catholic Hermit: Adaptation, Not Alone

This nothing consecrated Catholic hermit is not alone in living alone or in solitude.  There are hermits dotted about the world.  And there are people everywhere who are alone whether or not they live with others or have families or work with the public.

This topic is not new, so no point in explaining or even debating the subtle truths, the esoteric realities, of human beings in their--what I term--"ontological aloneness."  It is the loneliness of being that we all experience, sometimes more noticeably than others.  It is an interior sense of being alone.

The hermit has adapted to a greater degree of solitude than ever it imagined possible.  The hermit does not feel "lonely."  Not at all.  There is no sense of desolation at this point of this journey.  The past two years of increased solitude and living in a type of God-arranged exile, has brought the hermit to a point of peace in solitude, of a sort of restitude and quietude.

Then there is the reality that none of us is ever really alone unless we choose to deny or ignore that there is God always with us, and His ministering angels, and the community of believers--even if we rarely see a spot of light or angel vision, or rarely see another human being in person.  And for those who do not even have a laptop and do not see "people" visually on the internet such as in news clips or other video clips--those folks are not really alone, either.

However, we can all feel "lonely" from time to time.  It is just that this hermit has adapted to a degree that it simply never feels "lonely".  The hermit still feels despair from time to time, and that due to extreme pain sieges in which the mind and emotions can no longer manage the pain.  The mind and emotions thus are seemingly on their own, doing their own thing, despairing in more pain than it seems rightful for a human being in our time period to have to suffer.

Yes, there are pain meds, but with so many people who do not have physical pain abusing the medications, it is very difficult for those who do have serious pain to receive an amount for the severe episodes...unless terminally ill.  And, the hermit does not want much, anyway, for it seeks to attain to unconditional love and to unite its pain with Jesus on the Cross of His Suffering in reparation for our sins and for the salvation of souls.

So even in severe pain and tending toward despair (did not Jesus anguish in Gethsemane and also on the cross?), the hermit does not feel lonely.  It knows it is not alone even if in human solitude.  God is with us.

The adaptation to increasing amounts of solitude (and silence) is arranged by God, if natural and true. We hermits do need to cooperate, such as if we are consecrated in this vocation.  We then, of course, try as would anyone who is committed and avowed to living a life of stricter separation from the world, and in the silence of solitude.

If we try to force it, though, we can end up feeling lonely and desolate.  If we take tiny sips of solitude, that helps in adaptation.  But we must always trust and accept that God is the best One to arranged for the amount of solitude, when and where and how.

This hermit did not realize that God is the One to do the arranging and setting of the amount of solitude until arriving in this desert exile.  Even making the decision to move here, the hermit thought others and itself was in charge of the decision...only to find out rather shockingly, that instead of an easier life and perhaps a few more church contacts, His Real Presence arranged a big hunk of solitude.

From first arriving, a neighbor tried to take part of the hermit's little plot of land via some loophole law.  He did not succeed, but he and his wife never spoke again.  Another neighbor came out of her dwelling one day and announced that they all stay to themselves around here.  The hermit does not have anyone to call upon for an emergency, even, other than if the Catholic deputy happens to answer his voicemail messages, which is about 50% rate.

And all this is all right, for the hermit has finally figured out that God wants the hermit to rely on Him to be here, totally, completely, and to be the hermit's Spouse in a truly tangible and mystical way.  So He provides when there is a need.  He brings who He wills, when He wills, and how He wills, and for what He wills.

Thus, the surprise when a friend across the miles visited for an afternoon, brought here by her adult son with whom she was staying a week.  Thus the kindness of the adult daughter to offer to bring food a couple weeks ago when the hermit was having another high-level pain siege and was running out of some staples; but His Real Presence lifted enough of the pain for the hermit to drive and replenish the food.

We are not alone.  When we let God lead and determine the amount of solitude, He sometimes moves more rapidly in stripping the distractions than what we think we can handle.  But what is so amazing is that because He is arranging for the solitude--even if it kind of startles us with the degree He sets--we handle it, for whatever He wills, we are carried along, for we are not alone.  He is with us in ways more actual than what we would ever have known had we kept trying to set our own standards.

Recently the hermit decided on its own to cease viewing news clip videos.  But that was not God's decision for then.  No.  So the hermit watches a few, glancing over and getting the gist of details even though it knows what to pray for in general--the world, people, various crimes and calamities, suffering, poverty, politics, countries, peace, morals, Christians, those of other religions, etc.

Perhaps His Real Presence at some later time will determine that He wills the hermit to not have to see any of it.  But for now, He wills an enforced bit.  Perhaps it is because the hermit was forgetting to pray for some aspects that it prays for more readily if it has the news reminders?  Don't know.  But He did not allow cutting it out, despite how boring, depraved, repetitive, and temporal the news folks and videos can be.

He is the One Who sets the degree of solitude--when, where, how, and how long.  For he can raise and lower the degree of solitude according to His will.  That is something to consider and keep in mind.  Accept it, as much as we need to accept the fact and reality that He is the one who arranges the degree and type of solitude.  Accept it as much as we accept that we are not alone.  God is with us always.  There is no loneliness in solitude that God has arranged.

Catholic Hermit: Loneliness, Solitude

The other day, came across a small piece of old holy card or such.  Had pasted it on a postcard, thinking would send it to someone, sometime.  It was in a box stored in attic garret, amidst some stationery.  The citation cut off, the quote seems to be a private message from His Real Presence to someone.

"I shall lead you through the loneliness,
the solitude you will not understand;
but it is My shortcut in your soul."

How appropriate for a hermit, or anyone, really.

The definition of "loneliness" has with it the suggestion of sadness and of a state in which a person does not want to be--left to oneself, without company, sadly alone, or even desolate.  The definition of solitude is similar but also includes the essence of peace and tranquility in being left to oneself or alone, as if more a choice to be so.

Last week a friend from far away visited with an adult son.  They brought their lunch, and with the hermit ate our simple fare on the back deck among the cut wood ends, sawdust, compound miter saw and bench, and garden supplies.  The friend mentioned how we are made to be with others, to have community, and that perhaps the hermit needed more to be around people.  The comment was relative to a discussion of the area and the past two years, and the irony of neighbors here staying to themselves and the difficulty with hired help returning to finish what are tail ends of jobs and instead go off to larger, more lucrative work.

It all seemed fine with the hermit, once it understood that more than the finishing of a hermitage and above any temporal affect, the Lord wishes the hermit to learn various virtues, particularly that of total and complete faith, patience, and perseverance in hardship.  So it seemed humorous, when viewed with God's plans and goals for this one here, at this time of life, to see the irony in God's providing for the greater good of an exile experience.

At other times, the solitude can veer more to a feeling of the sorrowful aspect of "loneliness", or of a sense of desolation--IF the hermit loses the view of goodness in being graced with and cooperating with, striving with, some great virtues, particularly faith.  And it is not just faith, but total and complete faith--a high degree of faith, a degree nearing perfection of faith as an ultimate desire.

The friend commented that it does not seem "right" that the hermit have this much solitude, which seems rather extreme to some, for sure.  Yet there really are no options.  It is not as if the hermit can pick up and move back into civilization, for the hermitage remains unsalable, and the finances do not allow chucking it.  In our time period, money is needed for a hermit to live elsewhere, to rent a room or live in a campsite!  We don't have the option of finding some cave to move into.  The caves are on private property or on government park property; it all takes money and an approval of the land owner, and then there are such realities as health codes governing living with running water and having heat, trash disposal, paying taxes, and so forth.

When the friend emphasized that it does not seem right for a person to live in such solitude, and that God made us to be with others in a community--the hermit said it had recently pondered that, as well.  Jesus did not exemplify or advocate a hermit way of life, as his going off for 40 days was a suggestion of such, or spending nights alone in prayer, but he was not a hermit by vocation.  But then, the hermit commented to the friend that He did not live a married vocation, nor was he a temple priest.

The friend smiled and said had not thought of that.  The friend had been in the married vocation, and Jesus had not.  But Jesus knew of those who were essentially hermits:  many of the prophets, including John the Baptist.  They lived lives of solitude to varying degrees and for varying lengths of time. Some returned more to people, or people sought them out, or they came upon people like Elijah had, or Jeremiah--sent to deliver messages--or John the Baptist to prepare the way for people to recognize and turn to the Messiah.

They were called prophets, not hermits, back then.  Many were called other words, as well, by those who did not understand how God would utilize such rather extreme-type humans, their sights set on God above all things, with a stricter separation from the world, more hidden from the eyes of men and some very hidden so much so that there are no doubt many who did not find mention in Scriptures.  The names of the Essenes (John the Baptist's and Jesus' forbearers) are for the most part buried with their bones in the desert or mountains.

The friend and son left after meaningful conversation and some manual labor help (so grateful!).  The hermit then uncovered this bit of post card upon which years ago it had glued the little quote and image with it; and God spoke to the hermit this reminder and reason for the seeming enforced solitude and nuances of loneliness.  Again: "I shall lead you through the loneliness,
                               the solitude you will not understand;
                               but it is My shortcut in your soul."

Yet the hermit does understand the solitude to a point--in that it has become obvious through circumstances these past couple or more years of exile.  (And, the hermit's friend and friend's son visited; and the hermit's adult daughter and her family visit once every month or two.)  God has ordained and set forth the circumstances and allowed that there is really no way out of this degree of solitude in exile, until such time as the hermit dies or loses ability to function, or is slowly able to have the place livable to most human's desires...and salable by current, real estate market standards. 

What the hermit had forgotten, in part, is the reason for God's choosing and allowing this time of exile, of a greater degree of solitude, silence--and at times seemingly to the nuance of current defined loneliness as desolation.  Rather, "The solitude is His Real Presence's shortcut to the hermit's soul."  It is in the solitude that He will teach, hone, convert, conform, and unite the hermit's soul to His Real Presence.

Thus, the solitude, the loneliness, are most welcome guests here.  The loneliness loses that aspect of definition as desolate and forlorn as if not acceptable to others or shunned.  No, the solitude and loneliness of a hermit is not even so much of its own efforts or choosing and in fact ought not be other than its total surrender to God's will.  The solitude and loneliness of a hermit, in genuine aspects as result of going with God's flow, is that of God's choosing and orchestrating the silent sounds of His Real Presence in the soul.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another and remain together in His Love.  In His Love is our conjoint spiritual communion and community mystically lived.