Catholic Christian Hermit: LIfe-changing words from Origen

 I found these words to be inspirational plus practically helpful in making changes in my own life.  Perhaps they will be profoundly changing for others, as well.  I realize to no let my own attitudes enslave me, nor the attitudes, moods of others or to let situations enslave me, as well.  Jesus is my Master; I must follow Him as best I can, and not droop with whatever is going on around me.

Origen (c.185-253)

priest and theologian

Homilies on Exodus, no. 12, 4

"If you remain in my word (…) the truth will set you free"

“The Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom” (2 Cor 3:17) (…) But how can we find this freedom who are slaves of this world, slaves of money, slaves of fleshly desires? It is true that I strive to amend and judge myself; I condemn my faults. And on their part, let those who hear me examine the thoughts of their own hearts. But let me mention that, insofar as I am bound by one of these attachments, I have not been converted to the Lord nor attained true freedom, since such matters and preoccupations still have power to hold me (…). As we know, it is written that: “A person is a slave of whatever overcomes him” (2 Pt 2:19). Now, even if I am not overcome by love of money, even if I am not bound by concern for possessions and riches, yet I am hungry for acclaim and anxious for human glory when I take account of the regard shown me by others and of what they say about me, when I worry about what someone thinks of me, about someone else's estimation, when I am afraid to displease one and want to please another. So long as I have these preoccupations, I am their slave. Yet I should like to make an effort to set myself free from them and try to break free from the yoke of this shameful slavery and attain the liberty Saint Paul tells us about: “You were called for freedom; do not become slaves to human beings” (Gal 5:13; 1 Cor 7:23). But who will gain this freedom for me? Who will deliver me from this shameful slavery if not he who said: “If the Son sets you free, then you are free indeed” (…) So let us faithfully serve and “love the Lord our God with all our heart, with all our soul and with all our strength” (Mk 12:30), so that we may merit to receive the gift of freedom from our Lord Jesus Christ.

Catholic Hermit of God: Dying to Self; Faith and Works

I awoke quite early here in Solus Deus Hermitage.  Seemed mighty chilly.  In fact, late yesterday seemed chilly in here.  Sure enough, nothing showing on the thermostat--digital as most gadgets are these days.  Furnace has gone out.  Made a couple phone calls, and a furnace man named Charles is on his way.

At last I kept fidgeting with the gas-log fireplace that I'd been told needs a new part.  Probably does, but by repeatedly turning the knob could get the pilot to shoot into flame--and enough times of turning the knob at a certain moment--and the flames did not go out.  A little warmth and am praising God!  So much going on; my life not as simple as I'd like, but then, it is not best for me to stay in bed which is where this body is most comfortable.

No, I have to force myself to do the projects around here, that makes the body remain mobile even if for an hour or two of the day.  It is the added decisions that must be made, though, connected with the pray-and-work mode that is so positive an element of this illegal-Catholic-God's-hermit's life!

When reading the verses in James 2:14-26 this morning while bundling and waiting for furnace help, I consider that I have not been helping to feed and tend the poor in body.  Do my prayers help feed and tend the poor in spirit?  In faith, yes, they do.  But I want to also do works of helpfulness, tangbile.

Well, Charles came and checked the thermostat.  Simply needed new batteries.  I've not dealt with thermostats before; had a heat pump prior in Te Deum Hermitage, with a remote control.  Learning something new all the time, and this one imprinted a bit more with $85 fee.  I did tell myself what St. Padre Pio always advised:  Pray, hope, and don't worry.  True, in the morning when I awaken, the pain takes all mind and heart to contend with the body for several hours.  

I had tried remove the thermostat cover, but there is a little trick to it.  Doubt I'd have figured it out with my morning pain level; but also I'd not have met the kindly Charles, an older man who told me the trick of how to get the thermostat cover removed.  And, I realize that I am helping financially with persons' businesses and employees' incomes.  That is a form of charity, after all!

The added work of drywall removal has put my pain level at higher than the usual, which is my own doing, of course.  But, I pray and hope in God that the back muscles might be a tad bit stronger than had I not attempted the manual labor.  Otherwise, the hermitage is still cluttered with stuff not put away, for the bending to pick up items still from unpacking phase--is absolutely too much for the spine.  Easier to stand and remove drywall, using upper back and arms!  So it goes....  Pray and work, and at some point order will return in the externals, while most of all I must tend to interior "order" of mind, heart, and soul.

And for that, all the"busy about many things" Martha-aspect must be kept in lesser position, and the interior, contemplative, prayerful and praising aspect of Mary-has-chosen-the-better-part in prominence.  Within the better part is the good of denying self, first and foremost, and then taking up the cross and following Jesus.   

Following Jesus requires knowing Jesus, and to know Jesus means to read about Jesus and to read Jesus' own words in the Gospels, and to read what others have written--the apostles, those who knew Jesus while on earth, as well as to read what the saints and mystics write about Jesus from knowing Him intimately through their writings of their spiritual lives in progress when alive, and through their coming to Divine Union with Christ.  

Above all, knowing Jesus means very much, perhaps mostly, coming to intimacy through prayer and praising, through stilling the mind and heart and resting within Jesus' Love--the soul abiding in Jesus' Heart, Mind, Soul.  Being in love with Jesus is knowing Jesus.  Thus following Jesus and carrying whatever crosses, becomes an easy yoke and light burden.

What could I give in exchange for my life?  I can give my mind, heart, and soul to Jesus.  Thus it is that these aspects of what Jesus teaches us and how He lived His life on earth, and how we learn and grow in the Holy Spirit Whom Jesus sent to be with us after He ascended--these matter more to me than such as canonical approval as a hermit in what is a temporal vocation.  God already chose and approved me years ago--including His chastising me, correcting me, and forming me in the hermit life over the years.  

This current phase is also of His guiding and forming me, choosing for me His will.  He's pointing me more to the spiritual and of the interior of His Son and of the hermit saints than to the yet-unfolding of a more recent canon law.  While the canon is fine and evidently felt by bishops to be needed for some purpose, such as for supervising hermits in their dioceses (of which that part of the canon being upheld tends to depend on individual bishops and individual hermits), I marvel at the Scriptures and their emphases tending away from added layers.  

I've never had to deal with a bishop needing to be responsible for my hermit vocational supervision and direction; for as God's hermit, I have Him supervising me constantly, even if I have caused Him to remind me or form me with firm and strong means--often situational.  He's taught me the ways of spiritual combat, and of the power of the Virgin Mary in such matters, and always the merciful and loving omnipotence and omniscience of His Real Presence in all things of earth and heaven.  

However, I do not discount the good for those who desire also the more external aspects such as diocese bishop approval and being recognized by the ecclesial law, CL603.  I'm weary of adding on exterior aspects to what has been for over twenty years and plenty for me to learn and to strive in, with God always present and keeping my guardian angel on my case!  Perhaps the level of physical pain, also, allows me to yearn for simplicity even in a matter of a single canon law and adding in yet another person, granted a busy and important prelate of a diocese, or more likely his chancellor, and whatever involved per how they would want the canon law to be effectuated.  This would be likely a first for them.

Dying to self, laying down my life and not resurrecting more of me to such processes, has its appeal and sense of peacefulness.  St. Gertrude writes of her love of "death"--which when one reads what she writes, must not misconstrue that she is glorifying her temporal death.  Rather, she is indicating a desire to die to self and exist, to live, only in Christ. 

"O dearest death, you are my happiest lot.  Ah, let my soul find a nest for itself, may I always have hope under your wings. O saving death, you are my dearest ransom.  Ah, may you absorb all my life in you and immerse my death in you...."  ~ St. Gertrude of Helfta, Exercises VII, SC 127

I can relate with that tremendous desire for interior dying to self and living in Christ.  Today, yes, particularly after having gotten this body to the title company to sign documents for a mortgage refinance of which not just the lower interest rate was prudent in this temporal world of hermit handling own finances, but also to get the title into a trust which was also prudent, making my death and the legal paperwork involved with someone's physical death, less complex for whomever has to deal with it.  Another act of charity to others, it seems, to consider their earthly time and hassles in concluding the financial responsibilities of my earthly existence, once am dead and buried.

Also, this morning, early and reminding me within, the Lord brings up the question the confessor asked of me, regarding the nemesis of nearly 12 years whose focus and views on probably more than hermit life, have seemed to irk the person repeatedly.  He asked me, regarding that person, "Try to figure out what it is that might cause the person to become riled, then if you could avoid that."  Well, I think my writing of much anything at this point, will rile the person; but if I write my views of my hermit life, my thoughts and perspective regarding the hermit vocation, canon law or otherwise, that irks the person.  

But at this point, after all these years, even if I'd cease my willing embrace of an illegal Catholic hermit, not at all recognized by law or recognized at all in my anonymity, the person might yet be riled to react.  I suspect we differ in more than spiritual aspects, so pray and love are best recourse.  Simply keep writing of my spiritual progression in my God-chosen, God-approved eremitic vocation in this lifetime.  Keep striving to live my rule of life, the Gospel Rule, with the Nine S' in place; die to all else.  But above all, love God in Himself and love others as He loves; live to exist, in Christ Jesus, by and of the Holy Spirit.

From the Holy Gospel of Jesus Christ according to St. Mark (8:34-38, 9:1):

"Jesus summoned the crowd with his disciples and said to them, 'Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.  For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and that of the gospel will save it.'

"'What profit is there for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life?  
What could one give in exchange for his life?
Whoever is ashamed of me and of my words in this faithless and sinful generation, the Son of Man will be ashamed of when he comes in his Father's glory, with the holy angels.'

"He also said to them, 'Amen, I say to you, there are some standing here who will not taste death until they see the kingdom of God has come in power.'"

God bless His Real Presence in us! Jesus, I trust in You!

Catholic Hermit: Possessions

(The following paragraphs contain my personal thoughts on the topic of possessions and from the perspective and life of a contemporary, consecrated Catholic hermit--very much in the unfolding process of it all.  If you want to get beyond my stream-of-consciousness on possessions, scroll down to the succinct pith in St. John Cassian's writing on the topic of possessions.)

Earlier on in my hermit vocation, I de-possessed.  When my late mother was very ill, and I was spending time each day--other than when in a pain siege--with her at the health care facility, I decided to sell "The Anchorage"--the hermitage house.  My youngest was going to be entering his junior year in college in the fall.  He would spend his summer working long hours and being with friends in evenings; and frankly, my mother's painful dying with her mind clear and not ready to pass, had my attention.  Time to sell the 1924 Craftsman style three-story-plus basement abode.

The year prior I'd had a lucid dream in which I was told to prepare for death within a year.  These messages take discernment, and I discerned that this was for myself; and spiritually, it was.  The actuality, of course, is that I did not physically die.  Yet I decided to dispense of the bulk of my belongings, dividing the furnishings and family pieces among the three adult children.  I kept the youngest's since he was yet in college.  Much did I donate to St. Vincent de Paul's Thrift Shop, and I anonymously gifted various friends with a tea pot collection enjoyed while the children were young.  (We had some fun "gypsy" tea parties, inviting friends, costumed.)

But when I did sell, I did not have any mystical message; I just felt it quite deeply that I was to sell.  My angel brought a buyer on Divine Mercy Sunday which coincided that year with my birth milestone.  I rid out even more, including items of my mother that she'd had shipped not knowing for sure what all she'd want or need, including clothing.  

I ended up moving out of the town but not far off; while it was a good time for me and a good time to sell, it ended up not as I thought with the son.  He did not want to be in the locale where he went to high school--something I thought he'd be all right with.  But it would require driving to his summer job; he ended up staying with friends. 

After my mother passed that autumn, I donated more of what few items she had in her health care room.  By then, I'd been in and out of two rentals due to the landlords lying about the odors, and while I never prior had trouble with cigarette smoke, I developed a progressive allergy that became severe.  After the second situation, I had no place to move and keep up the pace spending time with my mother daily.  I lived out of my car during the day and into the evening, and the priest of a parish I'd been attending let me stay in the all night chapel by night.  My household goods retained were in storage.  I was awaiting the decision of another priest whose parish had a house empty; it had been where two religious sisters had lived until they returned to their Mother House.

So I lived there for over two years; it was ideal being beside a Catholic church.  The rent was modest.  After a couple years I realized I needed to get settled somewhere, in my own place in quieter area and put down roots.  So I got into a house in a subdivision--which shortly after trouble began with a paranoid schizophrenic neighbor who became obsessed with me.  

After I moved into the small house, my hermitage "Agnus Dei", I began to accumulate such as appliances since those were provided in the rental.  I had to consider landscaping, which I loved and which opened me up to a creative way to glorify God in beautiful trees and flowers. (My spiritual father was quite encouraging in this mode of glorifying God as he, too, was an avid gardener.)

Ever since I realized my 11 months with the hermit community and seeing that wearing a habit was counter to my being unnoticed and "hidden from the eyes of men," I no longer had clothing.  I'd donated my clothing when I put on the habit, all but a couple pairs of overalls for manual labor.  I'd been wearing a gray jumper rather than accumulate more clothing after I ceased association with the hermit community.  

But in the ensuing years, I noticed the gray jumper also acted as a type of habit, yet in a more negative way.  So I experimented about the time I was getting settled into Agnus Dei, with clothing that would have me blend in (or so was the wish) with the parishioners of the parish I then attended.

In addition to household items, gardening tools, some bookcases and sofa set, I accumulated some clothing for the four seasons of climate in which I lived.  I had only worn a pair of cross trainers that my back could tolerate when wearing the gray jumper garb ( I had sewn fabric suitable for hot and cold weather); now I needed to get some shoes suitable for blending in.  Then I experimented with other aspects that would have me as if any other parishioner, commensurate with age and education background.  I do think I blended fairly well until the mystical state during Mass commenced late August, 2008.

I had to move again in 2013; the sheriff deputies advised it as my protective order from the insane and life-threatening neighbor was to run out.  The protective order was helpful but still had not stopped the harassment and threats.  The deputies said the situation was not going to change, and I was alone, and they were not; my vulnerability would remain.  

I relocated in a major adventure and ended up on an island--a ferry-ride and highway jaunt from a family member. But my, that was certainly another lesson in being stripped down more in spiritual things than temporal.  Yet, I ended up selling off quite a few possessions before I moved a distance to the island; and I sold off quite a few more possessions when there to help make ends meet.  Then when I sold that hermitage, "Te Deum," I sold off as well as donated and gifted much.

Here in Solus Deus, I've not accumulated nor rid out.  I will be ridding out, though, when I leave here.  My spine situation was at a point that I did not have the energy to donate the clothing I'd accumulated but had not worn for nearly six years, plus other items--as on the island for those years, all remained packed and stored in the pole barn.  

All this history of possessions and then de-possessing "things", is to me rather shameful but very real and human.  I always had reasons for either ridding out or accumulating.  I used possessions for purposes, such as in Agnus Dei, I had times when there would be hermitage guests.  I showed the best hospitality to my capabilities.  On the island, I was simply trying to survive, endure, rehab what was a wreck of a dwelling of which I did not know was as bad as it was when I purchased it.  That's life; that's the real world of not all things seeming as they are.

Off and on in life I've wondered about how literally to take the Scriptures such as "If you wish to be my disciple," says Jesus, "give all that you have to the poor and come follow me."  The closest I came to that was when I sold and moved from the Craftsman house, "The Anchorage."  I was "austere," people later told me.  Yet, I know of a woman to this day who is far more austere and not a hermit.  Yet I've utilized accumulated items in my creative zest and surges.  I love truth, beauty, and goodness--and that means beauty in nature, in art, in music, in objects created such as functional art--in the furniture we utilize, in the dish ware from which we serve others and eat from, ourselves.

I generally allow phases in my life to guide me as to what possessions or not.  As I've mentioned, I experiment, as a hermit and as a follower of Jesus.  I know I fall short; yet somehow the lessons I continue to learn are marvelous.  The lessons seem greater and brought me more effort and sacrifice than had I not experimented--such as trying to wear clothing that had me blend in.  I learned that while I blended in, I did not need to be so creative and varied in the blending.  I blended specific to a role to play, so to speak; I blended to those who were of similar education and socio-economic background I would be if not a hermit.  As I say it worked until the mystical state started, which set me apart as "different" as much as my humble gray jumper or a habit would have.

Now, I am in a phase of de-possessing again, when I am able to orchestrate another move to a necessary downscaling that will eliminate my love of gardening. My future is going to be spine-limited.  That is fine.  But I as always, what we accumulate and utilize in our temporal lives, eventually we will need to dispense with.  I'd be hard-pressed to live temporally as hermits of yore lived.  I've had to accumulate some medical "equipment," for example.  I still have tools that I'll not need for I will not have a body that should be doing the type of manual labor I have done before.

My whole take on temporal possessions has been "discordant", in a way.  Yet it has been "music", all the same--just not conclusive.  To me, the greater possessions to give away were my attachments to items.  As long as I would use them for some good, it seemed all right, or for an experiment or testing in the hermit life when a good purpose and intentions predominated.  That is all right, other than my creative personality would have "flourishes," and my good purposes and intentions would get carried too far.  Thus, I'd de-possess--donate or rid out by selling possessions when I was cash-strapped.

Now it's time to assess the issue of temporal possessions.  While doing so, the greater de-possessing can be considered.  That is the ridding out of what is not holy, what is not leading me to God, what is not needed in practical ways nor prudent in realistic ways such as what I am able to not do or do with whatever possessions.  To me, possessions are like tools to provide for a holy means and holy end.  The temporal possessions ought achieve a holy means and end; but more so the spiritual "possessions" ought do that even better, to a holy perfection.

The other day I read this from St. John Cassian's Conferences 1, 6, 7.  What he wrote in the 4th c. so resonates with me in the 21st c., in the end-run of this evolving, consecrated Catholic hermit's life.  See what you think.  I plan to apply this to my current and unfolding existence.  Even if still mostly in bed--although supposed to try to get up more and walk more--I can consider what temporal items will not make the cut for the next hermitage in which I will not be doing the manual labor I've come to so find delightful.  

The truth is--for me, and in all honesty:  I yet take great delight as if the child I once was, in seeing or touching or using temporal items that bring joy as well as functional value, that I know when I am finished with them or the temporal life is finished with me, that some other person will find use and maybe, pray God, some joy in the items, also.  

When I touch some item that was a loved ones--parents, children, friend--I remember them in some aspect of their personalities, lives, and souls.  I gain strength from who they were or are; I gain love and appreciation in the very thought of them.  The thought of them becomes a prayer for them.

The other day when in particular bodily pain and a momentary emotional struggle to cope with this lengthy surgery recovery, I parked the walker in front of a wall to secure it for doing a certain leg exercise the physical therapist had recommended.  The wall had a framed document, antique, that I'd gotten at an auction a decade or more ago, and then two framed antique photos of my great-grandparents' wedding and of them later with their seven children.  

With tears in my voice, aloud I asked them to please help me, to send me the help of their having lived in harder times without the comforts and conveniences I have.  Within the "send help" words were the unspoken aspects asking them to send help in stamina, courage, and whatever joys they gained and lived throughout their mostly very long lives-- including strength in each of their earthly deaths.

As for appreciating and also de-possessing temporal things, I all the more consider what spiritual things, what of God and Jesus and through the Holy Spirit--what I am lacking, what I need.  There are spiritual items I can appreciate and utilize of ones I have, develop these all the more.  I can seek after the spiritual "goods" that I so very much need and desire very much, in order to live as God wills of His Son's follower, and as a hermit in the consecrated life of His Church. Virtues are eternal, holy possessions. The Holy Spirit as my guide and teacher, I'm actually quite excited for this process!

See what you glean for your own bodies, minds, hearts, and souls from St. John Cassian's thoughts on the topic of possessions.

"Offering God our true wealth....

"We see some people who disdain very great riches in this world--and not only large sums of gold and silver but also magnificent properties--being disturbed over a penknife, a stylus, a needle, or a pen.... And when they have given away all their wealth for the sake of Christ's love, but still retain the heart's old affection for the littlest things and are always quickly irritated because of them, they become in every respect fruitless and barren, like those who do not have the love of which the Apostle speaks.  Foreseeing this in the Spirit, the blessed Apostle said: 'If I gave all my goods to feed the poor and handed my body over to be burned, but I did not have love, it would profit me nothing.' (I Cor 13:4-5).  Hence it is clearly proved that perfection is not immediately arrived at by being stripped and deprived of all one's wealth or by giving up one's honors, unless there is that love whose elements the Apostle describes, which consists in purity of heart alone.

"For what else does it mean not to be envious, not to be boastful, not to be angry, not to do evil, not to seek the things that are one's own, not to rejoice over iniquity, not to think evil and all the rest, (1 Cor 13:4-5) if not always to offer God a perfect and utterly clean heart and to keep it unsullied by any passion?  For the sake of this, then, everything is to be done and desired."


Dear Readers:  God bless His Real Presence in us!  Holy Spirit, send us strength to live and love all that God wills and desires of us on earth and in heaven!  Jesus, teach us in our own daily lives, in our own circumstances and vocations, in this time period on earth, how to best follow you!

Catholic Hermit: Deeper Conversions

Of course, this extended period of physical suffering includes--and perhaps has predominant impetus in--deeper spiritual conversions.

These periods of immense suffering include the accompanying storms and darkness.  The body, mind, heart, and soul are put through the grinder, so to speak.  Or, to stick with weather metaphor--all aspects of body, mind, heart, and soul are buffeted by howling winds, pounded by torrential rains, drought-ridden by desert dryness, immobilized and frozen in icy avalanches.

This period of time here, for my body, mind, heart, and soul--seems as if not weathering this storm.  Yet, it most certainly must be or I'd not be writing about it.

Last evening, when realizing I have no means to do manual labor, and at a deeper sense no work to be done in any active or acceptable, tangible, capacity in the temporal Catholic Church--and facing the unknowing of when or if the body would be "doing" much again, at all--an email came.  It is one that I have received the past three years, asking for some St. Bernard Love of God Bourbon Balls.

I realized the Lord was reaching in, saying, "You can do this.  I will let you be able to make these over which you pray and pour love into the efforts."  

Making these small and simple confections are usually without obstacles--nothing like other work efforts or interactions with the temporal world that become marathons of perseverance and endurance.  Other than if the printer is ornery if more labels are needed, the process is something that my body can manage if I make them in phases.  It is so very painful for me to stand in one spot for more than five minutes or even less.  And that is the case even when the back pain is at more manageable levels.

There is nothing else in my life right now that I can actually "do" and have satisfactory completion.  I am still persevering with kitchen and bathroom cabinets, so those rooms cannot be finished until there is resolution with the store and cabinet company representative.  There is nothing else--no other area of life that can be engaged to complete something.

Even all the garden harvest that I processed and froze is ruined.  Somehow, the cord came loose from the outlet when a couple weeks ago--surely must have been then--I struggled with each awkward and heavy bathroom base cabinet, having to get them in from the pole barn to the house.  Yesterday, when I finally was able to walk the short distance to the pole barn, needing a container of frozen food, I discovered all in the freezers had long-since thawed.  There is no meat involved, but the hermit's winter and spring food supply is all but gone.

Can't even empty it out--body not able.

As for what is going on spiritually in this deeper conversion, I've written it to Fr. V. in Nigeria and to a long-time friend, not Catholic, but who reads without comment, and prays.  Fr. V. is unlikely to respond with comment other than to remind to pray and remain in Christ's love.  Yet, it serves a purpose to express the depths of thoughts, insights, and conclusions when the storms are ravaging the outer and inner earth of our beings.

I am considering on a deeper level such great and successfully spiritual souls as Bruno the Carthusian, John of the Cross, and Joseph Benedict LeBre.  Their times of deeper conversions give great insight into those called to a different type of temporal life, a deeper call to live in the spiritual realm while their bodies existed in the temporal world.  Even with John of the Cross, his mind, heart, and soul went to another "place" although living amidst his fellow Carmelite religious brothers.  

He wrote his great insights and poetry more toward the beginning of his adult life as a consecrated religious and priest.  In the very few years between his imprisonment and torture by his fellow priests and monks and his final years of persecution again by his fellow religious, John had brief cohesion of active life utilization of his body, mind, heart, and spirit as spiritual director to Teresa of Avila's religious sisters in the several foundations she made of reformed Carmelites.

Bruno had more temporal Catholic world utilization at the beginning of his priesthood but extending some years when he was priest and professor in Cologne, Germany.  His departure from the temporal Catholic world was a decisive separation although previously had been an agreed-upon goal between himself and five or six friends--some of them priests.  They had resolved to leave that world and seek union in God without the temporal distractions and the laws of minds that can cause all kinds of obstacles to the "climb up the holy mountain.".  

And leave they did, and up the highest mountain they could find in the farthest reaches of the French Alps. Bruno was only called back to the temporal Catholic world once after that, by a pope.  He assisted for a short time although the pope wanted him to remain longer in his service.  But Bruno left for another foundation of similarly-minded men (again, some of them priests and others not) that later became also a monastery known as part of the Carthusian order.  Bruno died there.  

He did not formally "found" the order himself.  No, he simply (but I am sure with many dyings to self along the way) lived the ideals and in the way he thought was most helpful in climbing the holy mountain, to live spiritually the Christian ideal for achieving Divine Union and living the law of God.  He did not write down any laws of mind; he lived in whatever way he sensed could be successful in the repeated deeper conversions which would reach the spiritual summit.

Joseph Benedict LeBre sought entrance to numerous religious orders.  He was allowed entrance into several, often with much reservation on the parts of abbots and priors.  He never lasted long; they were concerned about what they perceived as his potential to be ill, and a couple superiors sent him on his way due to his becoming ill.  In other monastic attempts, he was considered to be at cross-ends with the goals and efforts of the monks themselves. Joseph's focused and desirous seeking of the spiritual realm and of God did not fit in.  Out he went.

Joseph had his mind, heart, and soul set on the spiritual heights.  Yes, he was crushed repeatedly when sent away from the various religious houses.  But that led him to a time of deeper conversion in which he realized he was called to live the life of a "pilgrim."  He determined to follow Jesus directly, without the ways and means or laws of minds involved in religious orders or other designated vocations.  He wandered for a couple of years or so in France before sensing within a strong calling to walk to Rome.  

Joseph LeBre wandered, walked, lived, and prayed as Jesus did in His life ministry.  He never encountered his family again.  Even in Rome, he lived as a pilgrim--not taking upon himself label of hermit or religious solitary or anything other vocational title.  Today he would be likened to a hobo or a homeless person; in Rome, those who noticed him at first considered him a filthy vagrant.  He died in the odor of sanctity, on a street, although a priest convinced him to live in his rectory for awhile, living there along with a few other homeless men the priest took in--worn out and ill from their ages, poverty, and harsh living conditions.

These three examples, have roosted in my mind this past day, as they have off and on for several years.  As such, these three souls (on earth known as saintly men) assist me in the deeper conversion occurring.  Such conversions are unlikely to provide much progress or success if the body is not incapacitated from all activity and distractions.  Thus, while difficult to be rid of current temporal distractions due to the pain and the mind's concerns about how will the work progress in this hermitage, how will I be able to do the heavier work once the family leaves the area--a prolonged, incapacitating pain siege allows for that self-concern mindset to pass.

Then the eye of the storm occurs in which the temporal worries and questions and thoughts of even past persecutions or whatever else, are stilled and silenced.  That is when His Real Presence shines the light on the deeper conversion and upon the decisions and acceptances that are to be made if one is willing.  If not, there will be yet more storms and then eyes of the storms with their opportunities for deeper conversions.

The three men have been in the beam of Christ's light in this day of the eye of this storm.  Even though the body could get up and move about a bit more, the pain is enough to remand: lay low, be still.  And, there is now the recognition of the storm's purpose, the pain siege's "inner eye."  The mind and heart want to pursue the deepening and to be given, in the soul's "eye," the insights and courage required to venture forth and through the other side of this storm.

These three men's life examples of following Jesus in His life and teachings and in the law of God, are with me as companions--as storm chasers, I guess we could say.  We don't need to fall victim to storms but rather to see them as they are--natural events brought and allowed by God--and to enter into them knowing that in the storm's eye are the deeper conversions of greater Christ-clarity, of spiritual progression, and hold the graces we carry with us when we pass through them.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love God above all things and love one another as ourselves!

Catholic Hermits: Why Do They Do It?

There was an inquiry, relative to:  Why does a Catholic hermit become a hermit?  Why do it?

This nothing Catholic hermit can only answer for itself.  Purportedly, it would make sense that there would not be any generic answer as to why a hermit is a hermit or chooses to be a hermit.  Each hermit has his and her answer, and all ought to vary in details and degrees, but maybe one common thread would be the answer to any human being as to why we are followers of Christ, Christianity, and seekers of God.

One desires to do God's will.

Living one's live according to God's will, as the goal and desire for life, entails doing as God asks.

In this nothing Catholic hermit's hermit vocation, it is a hermit because God showed it several times that this was His will.  The hermit's angel appeared in a powerful and lucid dream, as well, and specifically chastised the hermit after profession of vows and consecration had passed seven years, to say that the hermit had not been living nor honoring the hermit life that God had chosen for it and valued very much.

That alone was enough to remind in a shocking manner, the hermit to take more seriously its vows and religious consecration in the eremitic vocation.

There have been various other affirmations, beyond the inner assurance and sense of beingness, that at a certain phase and stage in life, the eremitic vocation was God's will.  After a year and a half of more focused study and spiritual preparation with the guidance of a spiritual director, a priest of many years, and the hermit itself being many years experienced in suffering and prayer and life situations, the day and hour came to make a spiritual and ecclesial commitment.

Yet, before Catholicism, before the conversion to Catholicism after years of devotion as a Christian in the Protestant tradition, there were signs and messages from the other side, as well, planting the reality of what was to come when the time was possible for stricter separation from the world, and greater prayer and penance, praise and solitude.  When the familial responsibilities altered, His Real Presence guided to the yet narrower gate, and the nothing Catholic hermit proceeded, and continues to proceed, slowly and in whatever of faith, hope, and love it can muster by God's grace.

Even so, there are times of vocational doubts, for the world out there and most of the people in it, and of other faith traditions, do not honor nor value nor understand why hermits would do this.

For this nothing Catholic hermit, the answer resides in deep spiritual knowings, showings, tellings, and then sheer faith and hope that it is doing as God wills.  Thus far, God has not shown any other path or way for this person, this soul, than the eremitic vocation.  It only increases in capacity, this hermit vocation, and this hermit, over time.

As for the deeper, spiritual reasons why a hermit "does this"--assume here the seeker means why live an eremitical lifestyle--the reasons reside in doing the Lord's will to degrees of increasingly greater solitude, silence, slowness, suffering, selflessness, stillness, simplicity stability, serenity--to love and praise and live in Him in His loving betterment of the world and to pray for the salvation of our souls. 

Or something like that.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another as God Is Love.

Yet, There Is God

Despite all else, when health declines some with added pain, there is always God.  No matter if in remote area, as many if not most hermits live physically in solitude and far away from the bustle of activity and people, there is yet God.

More so, perhaps, does the hermit depend upon and seek God, and find His Real Presence, in the details of life itself, in the very solitude, silence, and slowness of a life dedicated to adoration and love of God.  And, thus, in such adoration and love of His Real Presence, the hermit loves all of God Who loves all of His created and creation.

This is the connection with all, through God Is Love.

A hermit who seeks union with God Is Love, with His Real Presence, must be in His will and accept the flow of the vocation in all its earthly yield, its ebb and tide, daily and nightly.  The hermit thus must not be surprised that its temporal life begins to take on the pattern of the cross, the pattern of Christ's life, and trace His footsteps.

In practical terms, this means suffering physically as well as embracing and accepting the criticisms and calumnies from others who mean well in part, but who have not yet been able to, nor perhaps are meant to, understand or comprehend the poverty of the cross.

This Catholic hermit is more and more realizing and attempting to embrace the poverty of the cross.  Daily the stepping along in Christ's footsteps leads to increasing detachment from that which is not of things above.  What can be accomplished in physical effort is made up for in prayer, for this communication with His Real Presence does not cease and will not cease even when mortal breath gasps its last.

The Sacraments grow deep within.  The connection is spiritual over temporal, and the deep becomes deeper, beyond the ken of even what the mind had considered, for there was no considering what the unknown of the duc in altum would bring.  No one can anticipate the unknown of His Real Presence, of walking in his footsteps, for where He treads has but only one given, and that is poverty--poverty of self, poverty of temporal, poverty of spirit.

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for they shall see God.

Seeing His Face and being kissed on the lips by His Lips, and living His Life both earthly and divine, is the heartfelt desire of the hermit who has left the world to find heaven, on earth as it is in heaven.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, for when the footsteps of Christ lead to Golgatha, and all else of the temporal (even the temporal aspects of church) fades and yields to the spiritual:  yet, there is God.