Catholic Hermit: An Uplifting Reminder from St. Macarius

Also and probably more accurately called "Pseudo-Macarius", this saint and monk of the late fourth century left us homilies that lift and assist our spiritual journeys.

From Homily 31:

"So make haste to please the Lord, wait for him in your heart without ceasing, seek him in your thoughts, stir up your will and your feelings to reach out towards him at every moment.  Then you will see how he comes to you and makes his home within you."

This tuckered out consecrated Catholic hermit has spent the bulk of the day (thus far) resting on the mattress, now here in the unfinished main room of this old farm house hermitage.  Jean Patrick (from Haiti but now American citizen) had some break time between his nursing education school terms.  Coming from civilization to help me with some heavier work, it seemed best he spend the night.

Thus, the hermit and hermitage hosted this young guest who is so filled with the joy of the Holy Spirit -- and uplifted the entire process as we made marvelous progress in our work efforts.  And each day the Lord provided with some generous contributions to the roadside table's offerings: strawberries, tomatoes, peppers, and bouquets of Zinnias in whatever vases and jars I had on hand.

Jean Patrick earned quite a bit of added (and much-needed) income, and this nothing hermit gained much assistance as we installed some free and lovely cabinets and countertops in the pole barn as well as framed in an additional window.  The week prior Jean Patrick and Daniel each came for a day and a half, and we installed the first two windows.  

What a blessing to have some help and also to be able to help them with their school costs in the form of payment!

And with Jean Patrick, what conversation was not focused upon our tasks, we could speak of how the Lord has worked in his life--and how good is the Lord to us!  We appreciated several miracles in the manual labor as well as I benefitted from hearing about this young man's life in Haiti and his life here in this country, of his family, and of prayer needs for all of them.

After the first day I was in so much pain and so exhausted, that I could feel the tension welling up within the body; I explained to Jean Patrick how pain can get to a point that I feel absolutely grumpy and with less patience, as well as to not remember simple measurements from one moment to the next.  And thus, I insisted we take a work break--as I said my becoming grumpy is not worth it!

Jean Patrick loves root beer floats--something he'd not had until coming here to help out a couple times this summer.  Such a simple pleasure, and how refreshing to just take time to appreciate a treat--all that the Lord provides us and the wits to take time to refresh and reflect.

Jean Patrick shared with me how he came to this country--after his mother and younger siblings left Haiti prior.  He had to remain behind, and he told his mother it was all right--that it was best that the younger children got to leave.  Yet, the Lord provided for him in miraculous ways!  When his siblings were at the airport in Haiti, readying to depart, the airport and immigration supervisors wondered at these young ones leaving.  Wasn't there someone older taking care of them?  

Yes!  There is their older brother, Jean Patrick, but he had been told only the young ones could leave, that he would need special clearance.  The airport supervisor called Jean Patrick; he did not get the message until later that night, but he was told to come quickly to the airport as he should leave, also, accompanying his young siblings of which he'd cared and provided for them for three or four years as their mother had left on her own, earlier.

There was then a series of obstacles always met by miracles in Jean Patrick's efforts to get to the airport within 24 hours, as he had been told if he did not come right away, he'd not be able to leave without much effort, time, paperwork, and costs.  A "voice", he told me, had told him a bit prior to all of this to get his passport, even though he thought there was no chance he, too, could come to this country--just the young siblings.  Even a stranger offering him a ride--a man who saw him praying as they rode in a taxi in the middle of the night--all fell into place in an otherwise dangerous journey.

It all reminded me of the apostles being released unexpectedly from prison, the angel opening the door and beckoning them to come out and follow to freedom.

Well, there are more miracles from Jean Patrick's young life.  Now just 22 years old, he survived three days in the Haiti earthquake rubble and survived a tidal wave coming to tip over his small boat  with him in it.  He had to earn money to support the young siblings and did so by burning logs down to charcoal, then bagging it, taking it in a little boat to another area where wealthy people would buy the charred wood to use for grilling.

He has dreams and locutions, and he met in me someone who definitely understood. We did discuss the need for spiritual discernment of spirits--and all this not in the terminology I'm using.  He has grasped the English language very well, but there are some terms and cultural aspects that are new even though he's been in this country for three or so years.

It is a joy to have a helper who is in touch with the numinous and who loves the Lord so very much!  We could praise the Lord and pray, and at night Jean Patrick liked to say his prayers aloud, thanking God for the day.  

By the third day, my body was so much in pain that I knew to call upon the Holy Spirit to fill me with joy and perseverance; and so it was that we made it through that day with the bulk of the heavy work requiring two of us, completed!  What remains, I will need to trust in God's providence that someone will come along who can help me lift a couple or so items.

What I found, though, in being host to even such a delightfully spiritually endowed helper, is that God has formed me to an extent thus far in my hermit and spiritual life, that I also praised Him for the return to the silence of solitude, to the stillness, the simplicity, the slowness, the serenity of being totally alone with God here.  In the night when I awoke with pain, I said aloud, "Lord, I am so thankful to just be here alone with you, and you with me!  Thank you for the help, but thank you for the life in you, Lord, alone--solus Deus!"

I suppose I thought of solus Deus  for when Jean Patrick and I were re-arranging boxes and tools and earthly possessions on the pole barn shelves, there was the large, refinished wood, antique shutter that I'd hung on my first hermitage, 17 years ago this fall.  I printed on the shutter in Old English script:  Solus Deus.  I explained to Jean Patrick that I had this sign on my front porch years ago as a reminder to me, coming and going to church and what few errands, and to anyone passing by, the value of loving God alone.

So today, my dear friends and readers, I wrote an explanation to a spiritual friend who is reading the writings of John of the Cross as am I, currently, for the friend had emailed wanting some ideas of what the saint meant in detachment from the senses and from things of this world.  Then I received a call from a family member, and I listened to what prayer needs and concerns were being expressed from their lives; and then I rested some more, and then ate hoping to build up some energy.

Finally, the body was forced up and out to pick berries for the table and later some tomatoes and figs; and to hook up some hoses to continue the watering regimen here.  Yet, I am exhausted by pain itself, from head to toe, and thus I must simply be, not do.

In all things, though, striving to relate all to God and God to all--there is a peace and contentment despite the unknowns.  Tomorrow there will be a very large Visa bill to pay in addition to all monthly expenses, and finances will be all the more reduced.

And yesterday, as Jean Patrick and I had a lunch break, he received a call from his boss at the nursing home where he works on weekends, saying he should take the medic training course in this time period between his school terms!  So my helper will unlikely return.  He was trying to figure if there was some way he could come back, as he loves anything he does, including helping me transform this place to something better for the next person/s.  But the priority is his schooling, and I told him so.

God will provide, and He probably wants me to continue doing the work on my own, and for the few things that I definitely will need help doing, somehow someone will be provided to help.  My thoughts of finishing sooner than later, though, are now altered with the reminder of the unexpected surprises that come when we exist in the Order of the Present Moment.  From one moment of thinking of what we would accomplish the next time he could come next week, to the moment of the phone call--all things of the temporal plans were altered!

Amazing!

Seek the Lord in all things; stir up in ourselves the feelings and will to desire Him in every moment, wait patiently for Him to come in our hearts, seek after Him in our thoughts.  Then see how He comes and makes His home with us.  

I do know He is here.  He was here in the night when I told Him how much I love being with Him alone, and He was here in the day prior--in me and in Jean Patrick--and He is here making His home and being quite at home, right now as I write and reflect and share...and rest on this mattress.

Catholic Hermit: Pseudo-Macarius Excerpt on Shrove Tuesday

I may have posted this several years ago on some other blog post.  I have written through phases, posting on evolving blog titles.  Yet today, on Shrove Tuesday (or commonly also called Fat Tuesday)--the day before Ash Wednesday and commencement of Lent--the writings of "Pseudo-Macarius" circa 5th century, set a tone for Lent.

My spiritual father wrote another beautiful and cherished letter.  His handwriting grows increasingly shaky and faint, while his thoughts grow wiser and richer.  As an aside, he wrote that he is becoming discouraged by the televised news; the media battles and negativity of those who lost the election tempts him to frustration and anger.

So he has turned to watching a bit of EWTN (Eternal Word Television Network, a Catholic network).  I used to watch this network back when I had a television; I did not realize they now offer live streaming for computer viewing and online radio streaming, as well.  So I listened some yesterday while taping and mudding the stairwell here in Te Deum Hermitage.

Since Mother Angelica has passed, this Easter last, and I've not watched EWTN for a decade or more, I noticed that it seems the programming may be a bit more repetitive,  and there are some reruns.  But the daily Mass remains present moment and excellent, as Mass is; and there is an evening news program au courant.  The more I check out some programs, I am sure there will be much good in content and newer programs to be discovered.

I do not have frustration or anger over the secular news; yet it becomes quite repetitive and filled with opinions--and of course, is the world, the world.  Since I do not have television or cable, I can get a glimpse of news in which I find much to pray for--situations and people in the world, covering swaths of prayer themes--by looking at headlines or listening to a brief video clip.

Yet, the secular news does not instruct or inspire the soul other than to pray and pray.  Pray for peace, pray for wisdom for leaders, pray for the many people suffering, pray for the secular forces to turn to God, pray for good over evil, pray for people to love one another--not fuss and fracture.

So I pray, but I noticed yesterday that my soul sang a bit more cheerfully, and I was inspired by all the good that the Catholic Church has provided for souls and the world for over two thousand years.  I watched a program last evening while getting the pained body to simmer down for sleep.  A man shared his story of having left the Church for 30 years but has recently returned, and what a difference his coming back has made in his life and that of his family.  His excitement is contagious.

Well, back to Pseudo-Macarius' selection from his Fifth Sermon.  I share it with you because yet again the focus on the love of God and God's law reminds of the simplicity of purpose is worth pondering--a purpose of loving God, His Word, His Law and thus of living a holy life in loving God above all things and loving others as God loves.

From the fifth sermon of Pseudo-Macarius:

"For whatever passion a person does not manfully fight against, that is an object of his love.  Such an attachment dominates and holds him down.  It becomes for him an impediment and a chain that prevents him from directing his mind to God and from pleasing him.  In no way can he serve God alone and obtain the kingdom and reach eternal life.

"The soul that truly tends toward the Lord completely forces itself to a total love of him.  It is held fast in a willed dedication, as far as is possible, to God alone.  From him it attains the help of grace. Such a person denies himself and does not obey the will of his mind, because he knows that the mind tends to deal with us in a deceitful way, seducing us to evil.  He yields himself perfectly to the Word of the Lord and frees himself from every visible bond as far as he can will it.  He surrenders completely to the Lord and thus will be able to undergo successfully struggles, labors, and setbacks. Wherever there is a question of affection, there is either a help or an obstacle.  If someone loves something of the world, this becomes for him a burden and a bondage dragging him downward and not allowing him to rise upward to God.

"If, however, he loves the Lord and loves his commandments, this becomes his help.  He is strengthened by this.  His observance of all the Lord's precepts becomes easy for him and tilts him toward the good, or rather, it makes lighter and easier every battle and affliction.  Through divine power he cuts through the world and through the powers of evil which lay snares for the human soul in the world and which use all sorts of desires as nets to ensnare the soul in the depths of the world.  In such a way he is freed from such snares by means of his own faith and great courage and through heavenly aid.  He is accounted worthy of the eternal kingdom which was the goal of his desiring.  He receives from the Lord help and he will not lose eternal life."

And then Pseudo-Macarius adds after giving some Scriptural examples as well as daily life examples...

"Do you not see the complete centering upon the Lord of a perfect love freely given?  And so also those who wish to follow in their footsteps must love nothing besides God so that, when they are tried, they may be found authentically prompt in preserving their love, their perfect love for the Lord.  Such as these are able to endure conflict to the end who have completely and with their whole heart loved God alone and who have freed themselves from all other loves for the world.  Few, however, are found who enjoy such a love, turning away from all pleasures and desires of the world and who manfully endure the assaults and temptations of the evil one."

Pseudo-Macarius insightfully makes a few more points, but this seems enough to sip and savor for now.

God bless His Real Presence in us, and us in His Real Presence.  Let us each and all remain in His Love!

Catholic Mystic Hermit: Done with Not-Niceness!

I appreciate this selection from The Catechism of the Catholic Church, numbered entry 1823.  The reminder of what Jesus teaches us as recorded by the Apostle John in his Gospel, helps me all the more each time I am reminded of the great commandment to love.

"Jesus makes charity the new commandment.  By loving his own 'to the end,' he makes manifest the Father's love which he receives.  By loving one another, the disciples imitate the love of Jesus which they themselves receive.  Whence Jesus says: 'As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you; abide in my love.'  And again: 'This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.'"

The more I have pondered the events of the past few days, the more I recognize that I at least "feel" as if I've lost some "niceness" over time and as result of some life circumstances and encounters.  I have always been a very "nice" person, capable of and exuding much love.  However, I feel beaten back, and my reactions have been not-so-nice, or at least that is my realistic view of my thoughts and feelings, even of some responses.

It seems as if a person can get so ground down that the usual "filters" are not intact.

For example, I developed a kind of dread of the purported couple who would be calling to bring Holy Communion.  That dread derived from past encounters and even the conversation with the parish administrator a couple days ago.  (That the couple has not called and likely will not, is not unexpected on my part, of course, but the conversation with the parish woman stirred my thoughts and feelings afresh.)

There is a certain, unfiltered reaction that gets set into motion when I converse with those who have been not-so-nice, and this includes when they think they are being nice.  And my unfiltered reaction is not-so-nice, or at least to me it is not pleasant, not at the spiritual level that is within and without when I am being led and sustained by the Lord.

Rather, the other day I spoke and listened, and listened and commented, and the more I spoke the more information I gained that became even more outrageously not nice.  I said things true enough but in unfiltered light would be perceived very much as not nice.  

What the woman said is all very fine and well in details for a book I will be writing if I even live through this phase and episode of my existence in exile.  And the more details and instances of documentation of words, reactions, and treatment by Catholics to modern day Catholic mystics in this society and culture of the Western Church (and perhaps with some historical context of past treatment of mystics)--the more concrete examples, the better.

However, in information and data gathering, case study style, the more I must detach from the process and especially from the information.  The more I hear and experience as being the subject of case study in point, the more shocking to my thoughts.  The shock shudders and shutters the soul.  How sad and pathetic to realize the facts do not reveal much substantive improvement over the years and centuries regarding the topic: Catholics' treatment of Catholic mystics.

Upon waking this morning, the thought was on the mind: Catholic, but not Christian.

Well, that thought, sentiment, and/or reality can be an affliction of any of us in any Christian sect or denomination or rite within the Roman Catholic Church, or within the Orthodox Christian Church.  In other religions, it could be termed slightly otherwise.  We human beings are none of us perfect, and often enough we are not even that nice.

I had an urge which the Lord quickly quelled by some soul-checks as well as a phone call from the adult daughter who needed to discuss a teaching moment in parenting of their young son.  The urge I had was to call and leave a message on the parish priest's emergency line (for there is no other means of leaving him a direct message), and that it would be that I wish we could just start over.

My experiment of being honest and simply explaining what the ecstasy in Mass is, a simple phenomenon even if kind of rare, I'm told by priests, a bishop and his consulting bishops--the honest approach did not work out well at all.  People judge all the more, became more wary, fearful, and critical, shunning, unaccepting, and overall not nice.

I thought if we could start over and lie, and say I have narcolepsy, the situation would work out better.  As is said, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction; and Catholics and perhaps any group of church-goers or otherwise might in this case handle fiction better than truth.  Many live in fictionalized views of ourselves, anyway.  Or, if we take the filters off, we can say we live in self-deception often enough.

The parish administrator was deceiving herself with her transparent and silly blathering about her son's basketball schedule, convinced, it would seem, that I'd think he did not ever have 20 minutes to help carry drywall with his younger brother.  That fiction to her evidently seemed better than to simply say, "We are wary of you, think you are a nut-case, hysteric, [or could use less blunt terms], and don't want our sons to help you, not at any dollar price."  

But my daughter laughed at my notion, and said of course people want to try deception rather than such honesty; and I think it is because we want to keep up the fiction that we are very nice people, indeed.  Instead, we reveal ourselves as not nice, not living the law of God's love, and also as silly and unconvincing blatherers.  And that, then, can turn off those who want honesty in relationships and who hope for the ideal of truth, especially in a religious context, especially in Christianity in which truth is a major tenet of faith.

So it is that rather than attempting any re-do of what I had attempted in honesty about why I seem asleep or dead in Mass, that it is a mystical ecstasy and not to be concerned--nothing to worry about.  Somehow I thought people could just move on and relate otherwise normally with me who am normal as any of us are normal.  Just a mystic, and that is as normal as those who are not but who might be diabetic or homosexual or bipolar or autistic or narcoleptic.  

Somehow, the supernatural involved (although I think there is spiritual involved in all, but spiritual is perhaps slightly different from supernatural but not by much) causes especially Catholics to be undone to a point of not nice.

I have initiated just the beginnings of research on how the Eastern Church historically has reacted to and treated mystics.  Thus far--again in cursory glance--the Eastern mystics do not seem to be mistreated, not hidden away or put in house arrest, not burned alive nor even shunned.  They don't seem to have "anathema" declared nor are feared.  

But, I have a long way to go in research and reading more in depth.  Seems a bit naive for me to think there are people who are more Christian than Catholic or more Christian than Orthodox--no matter what branch or reformed denomination or non-denomination that evolved from the separated East and West Church.

My initial research already came upon how mystics of other cultures are treated, such as Native American mystics, Tibetan--Buddhist, Hindu, Sikh, Sufi mystics, et. al.  Thus far I find they are treated quite decently--even looked upon with having a value in their societies and groups.  

But thus far in broad reading of the Roman Catholic mystics--their lives have distinct elements of cruelty and abuse, even if for but a short time period in which others think they need to play the role, as a priest once told me he must--and call it, "the devil's advocate."

Lord, have mercy!  The devil certainly does not need priests or bishops or anyone else in the name of Christianity to be his advocate.  The devil does an excellent enough job with his legions of demons and those fallen humans who toddle right along in Satan's cloven-hoofed footprints.

Moreover, the Roman Catholic mystics' mistreatment by those of their own faith, has become a point of warped "proof" that if they suffer greatly as a result of being who and what they are--mystics--and even die as a result, they are all the more valid.  Sometimes they survive the abuse while yet alive, but often they are then in poor health and die earlier deaths.  

Or these dead mystic humans' main contribution to the Church and society ends up being that they endured the brutality of the devil's advocates, and thus are declared valid mystics, with the surviving onlookers delighting in the miracle of how they endured such ill-treatment.  What's this?  They were mystics after all--perhaps to be now-cherished saint trophies.  

And if these mystic human beings survived for long and with enough life left in them to write, or someone to write for them, their bit of writings remain as a little gift to those who might read them.  Although quite often their writings are altered by those not mystics but perhaps systematic theologians or even not, who think they need to correct what they deem improved upon by themselves....

Regardless of all that which in blunt honesty seems not so nice, I am again resolved to throw my body, mind, heart and soul into the Light of Christ's Love.  I will refrain from encounters with those who are not nice as much as is humanly possible to avoid.  The most crucial may be to avoid any not nice that is not nice in myself.  Stay clear of not nice reactions to not nice others and occasions!

I resolve to abide in His love and to imitate His love.  This means to not dally with being a Catholic-but-not-Christian.  I must be Christian and let the Lord decide if other labels ought precede or follow that of being a follower and lover of Christ, and a nice follower and lover, at that.  

I don't need to be, at this point of my grain-of-wheat-crushed-existence, to be distracted by emphasizing my group association.  Roman Catholic Christian or Maronite Catholic Christian? Greek Orthodox Christian or Church of Nazarene Christian or First Baptist Christian?  Or Byzantine Catholic Christian or Ukrainian Orthodox Christian or Coptic Catholic Christian or Evangelical Christian, etc.? 

I'd better just focus on being Christian, a follower and beloved of Christ and His Living Word,.  And to study and appreciate some very nice mystics such as Bernard of Clairvaux who lived just following the Great Schism of the Eastern and Western Catholic Church in mid-eleventh century.  Bernard's Sermons on the Song of Songs will reset my mind and heart in the proper perspective: Love of God and God's Love of His Creation.  

Then, I will also go back in time to those great mystics prior to the Schism, closer to the Lord in time and place and practice.  Or so this seems a wise plan as I desire instruction and inspiration regarding Christ and His Word--and how to live as a loving Christian, then, in my time and place.

I want to be nice again.  Very nice. I hope to be unimpeded in niceness, by which of course I mean charity: love!  I want to love again without such upsetting distractions, especially by my own slip-ups and from within my own Christian group designation. It also seems very much so that God is wanting to do some one-on-one tutorials with me in the silence of solitude, in my life of prayer and penance and praise of God.

Let love and mercy wash away any residual remnants of not-niceness from within me and all about me!  Let love and mercy fill me to overflowing so that love overflows from me!  

I pray to have my thoughts as those of Bernard of Clairvaux or Pseudo-Macarius or John Climacus or many others: Christ-thoughts and Christ-words, Christ-actions, Christ-life!  If this means staying clear of not-nice until I have niceness infused throughout, without stink coming back seven times more powerfully not nicely, then I will see if this plan is Wisdom that will be vindicated by her works in me.

Much love to all of you from an already more nice, more loving me, this Fourth Sunday in Advent!  God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit Reminded of the Same Ultimate of God

It is in thinking of God, of sensing God, of loving God, of being in God--of God above all things of earth that is the ultimate adjuration that Jesus reminds us.  It is this same, ultimate reminder that we have from the prophets of the Old Testament and of God Himself.  

It is this ultimate, oft-repeated lesson in the Word of God, of the Living Word--Jesus--and of all the apostles, then of the saints and mystics through out the centuries.  It is this same enjoinment that will always be given us no matter the format, for those who dare listen, embrace, and attempt to live it.

Love God above all else.

A friend balks when reading some of the writings of Pseudo-Macarius and other great mystic saints who not only lived on this earth but lived in heaven while on earth and who live on in their writings and spirits among us.  How is it that we should "despise the world"?  I point out that often enough the wise ones with lived experience in such matters mean not to despise God in His creation, but to love God in His All, more and fully.  

Thus, the soul is in love with His Real Presence.  Love of the world pales, dwindles, begins to disappear like sight fades in the presence of all-consuming Light.

Love God above all else.  Let love of God and His love of us rule all our thinking, saying, doing, being.  To love, to learn to love, to love God and others is the meaning of all of life.  

This Love is not to be found in laws, not even ecclesial laws, no matter how helpful they may be in guiding and setting parameters.  They also can distract and prevent an entering into God Is Love if a person does not move beyond the laws into the greatest commandment, the highest law:  Love!  Love God and love others above all else!

Those who grasp a bit of this have grasped much.  Those who cannot yet grasp, will do so, if not soon, then later, and surely eventually.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  God Is Love!

Catholic Hermit: A Blessed Irony

Resting the pained body today, and praying, gently centering the soul in His Real Presence.  Picked up Pseudo-Macarius to continue reading the homilies, and the very next one where this hermit left off is aptly titled:
"The need for much accurateness and right understanding in discerning who are authentic Christians."

So it is that this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit reads and ponders what Macarius writes from centuries past.  It has to do with testing what he calls deceitful workers "since even such as these wear the habit of monks or Christians."

How so very much this hermit desires to simply be a child of Christ, to be a Christian!  Nothing other, does it want!  It seems that having to be thrust into seeing and sensing, without the balm of filters, some of the ills of our human lives and the mockery in some instances, of what we have become today--it is horrifying.  Sickening!  

A lack of grace occurs in that aspect of the temporal Church which resorts to dealing with souls in what is expedient, in what "works" rather than in genuine Christocentric concern. This includes the hard choices and sensitive but assertive effort involved in reversing some decisions, then helping some find a "place" in the Church where they are best suited, or not suited, depending upon the situation.

But, all that is what this hermit must simply pray about.  It is not in the business of church administration.  The big world of church politics is obviously not where this soul is placed by God, nor what it yearns for or desires.  

This soul, this hermit's pained and seeking soul, desires Christ and His love, and to love others with His love.  It does not want to be in situations in which there is discord under the surface, and sometimes not even so under the surface.  It does not wish to have this "gift" (as some have called it--the hermit chaffs at the seeming malaprop) of seeing raw truth, of being taken into bliss only to have the bliss intruded upon--and for what good in the effect?  

The only explanation the hermit can find is so that this hermit can suffer and pray for the persons it sees, for the situations that unfold in discovery, and for its own soul--that finds itself reeling from what it has seen.  And not just what it has sensed or seen, but then for the hermit to progress onward to union with Christ--not in discovering yet more disappointing aspects of more muddy mess.

Now to refocus the body, mind, heart, and soul.  What does Macarius advise in discerning who are authentic Christians?  How can this hermit live its life so as to be an authentic Christian?  It is not pleased with the horror in which it fled, nor even when asked if the hermit was all right, to have burst out in what seems such abject truth yet judgment.  Whether true or not, if not for the mystical state which bares all good as well as not good, the hermit in a normal state would easily have masked and demurred from speaking forth.

Now to put all that aside, and to not step foot into that which does not edify.  No need to dwell on what others may do or believe, or not do or disbelieve, or if they judge or misjudge.  Leave it to Christ to discern our souls, to know if He lives in us and us in Him. This hermit now may and must free itself from all that other.  It must not enter back into that world. It can avoid those situations of temporal Catholic world malaise unless the Lord should bring note of it in a dream or vision or chance report from some person corresponding or calling. 

Other than to love all souls and pray for them, and to have compassion--these others, Christians or not--must walk their own paths as they see fit.  They may judge or misjudge, but this hermit does not want itself to be in that position and does not need to be in such situations.  To do so sickens it, causes great grief of soul, and brings on deep contrition.  Yet, in truth, this consecrated Catholic hermit prays and hopes for priests and hermits private or public, for souls of all vocations and religions, and for its own soul, that we each are saved in the Lord Jesus Christ for all eternity. 

Now in every present moment, this Christian Catholic hermit must:

"...work at the justification which is being accomplished in the inner man wherein stands the judgment seat of Christ, together with his spotless sanctuary, so that the testimony of your conscience may glory in the cross of Christ.  He has 'cleansed your conscience from dead works' (Heb 9:14) that you may adore God in your spirit, that you may know what you adore according to him who says, 'we adore that which we know' (Jn 4:22).  Trust in God who guides you.  Let your soul have fellowship with God as bride communes with bridegroom.  For 'this mystery is great,' it says, 'but I speak of Christ' (Eph 5:32) and the spotless soul.  To him be glory forever.  Amen."

God bless His Real Presence in me, in you, in us!

Catholic Hermit Still Around; God's Graces

Haven't written in awhile.  Have been more silently living the hermit vocation in solitude and stillness.  The hermit's young helper has continued to put in three hours' of work about four mornings a week.  Hermit finances and the helper's school obligations provide a shift back to the hermit in total solitude other than occasional, perhaps, time the helper can work a couple hours from time to time.

Current spiritual reading include the daily lectio divina, the Scripture readings of Mass and meditative consideration.  Also, the hermit is daily reading 2 Peter, finishing up a spiritual bouquet for a sibling's birthday--chapter a day of 1 and 2 Peter with reflections on various aspects of the sibling's life in Christ.

The young mother and the hermit are now reading four books on St. Gemma Galgani.  We phone discuss once a week, across the miles.  From the saint's diary, we each had the same reaction--kind of unsettling, some of Gemma's recording of what her angel, Jesus, and the Virgin Mary had to say to her.  The wording and the way they dealt with her much as one would with a naughty and immature child, caused us to wonder if Gemma had some emotional issues.

We concluded that she may have, due to her close attachment to her mother who died when Gemma was quite young, as well as Gemma's longing to be able to go to heaven with her mother.  However, we also discussed the reality that God interacts and speaks with us at whatever level of emotional, spiritual, maturity, and age we are, and in whatever ways is most effective to teach us and to guide us in virtues, especially faith.

This thought coincides with the hermit's other current reading, and this done with an elderly friend, again across the miles.  We continue on with the sermons of Pseudo-Macarius.  The current homily addresses how God gives us graces in varying amounts, types, and time periods of our lives.  For some, there are few tangible showings of God, or there may be one experience early in life and then nothing.  In those God desires for the soul to increase in faith over years and years.  For others, God might grant tangible graces in abundance, spread out over life.  God deals with us as He knows best, and how, when, where, and why the graces are deemed by Him as most effective according to His will--not ours.

Thus, St. Gemma Galgani, being a young girl and feeling such an emotional loss of her mother, needed more nurturing and more tangible graces, and the words used by her angel, Jesus, Mary, and Bl. Gabriel are as Gemma needed to hear them, so that they would make sense to her.  Plus, we allow for a young person's interpretation of such conversations as well as the translation from Italian to English.

As for this hermit, it has learned over the years that it does not want to anticipate graces.  No, this hermit prefers to be surprised by His Real Presence.  Otherwise, if eager for or begging for or anticipating graces such as visions, locutions, or any of the daily miracles we all experience if we but see the coincidences, lessons, and benefits galore each day as graces--this hermit would doubt these if it had asked for them or anticipated them, or specifically desired them.  God knows the hermit well. He knows each of us inside and out, and He deals with us according to His will and what is best.

Gemma was quite young when she wrote her diary and autobiography.  This Catholic hermit and the young mother have the advantages of spiritual direction, spiritual reading, and are older than Gemma.  We tempered or circumstances compared to Gemma's and do not need, should not need or beg of His Real Presence, a lot of tangible, spiritual experiences.  As St. Paul writes (paraphrased), when we are young we need milk; when we are older we are able to eat meat.

To grow in faith, to have hope that is not seen, and to love His Real Presence, our angel, the Virgin Mary and all the saints, to love one another as Christ loves us--this is the daily living out of life in Christ.  We can recognize the myriad graces we are given, all around us in the miraculous, simple, daily details.  However, when we have true and deep need of special graces and encouragement, often Jesus will surprise us with a more tangible visit of some sort.

In the meantime, the young mother and I decided that we prefer being surprised by grace, and to not stand out or make requests of God that require manifestations that do take energy and effort, coming from the spiritual back into the temporal realm.  We need to grow up, for we must cooperate with His Real Presence and all we have been taught by Him and the angels and the saints, by His Living Word in Scriptures, and through our being in the Body of Christ in Holy Mother Church.

On a temporal note, progress continues in manual labor efforts in renewing this old hermitage.  Still no bathroom, but a tub is in one space and a shower base in another.  The helper and the hermit have been hanging 1/2-inch concrete board for the shower surrounds.  The hermit finished plumbing the hot and cold water lines, and there is but one task left to be done in the cramped crawlspace under the house: tie in the tub drain pipe to a p-trap, and that to the main drain.

There is less than a foot of space for the hermit to squeeze its body under beams and joists beneath the house.  Yes, for that reason the hermit has put off this final plumbing task.  But today or tomorrow, it must be done as the helper is needed to shove down on the pipes from above while the hermit glues and shoves up for the final fitting.

By the grace of God, we do what we do.  By the grace of God, we breathe and think and move.  By the grace of God, we have faith and hope.  By the grace of God, we love.  These are each and all, supernatural experiences, when we get down to the realities both temporal and spiritual--all very mysterious, all quite mystical.  Is it not?

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit Shares Message from Jesus

Does not seem often that Jesus speaks aloud, within, so clearly.  Or perhaps, in actuality, it is not often that this consecrated Catholic hermit is listening closely to His Real Presence.  So many distractions of the temporal world can interfere if not watchful, listening, waiting within the recesses of the mind, heart and soul.

So yesterday, after reading another homily of Pseudo-Macarius on detaching from the distractions of the "world" so that one can choose to think of God, be in God, the hermit thought-flashed its apologies that it struggles with  discipline and will to cut loose from the distractions.

Then the hermit broached in the interior conversation, the recent attempt to pray daily the novena prayer attributed to St. Bridget, one that is said to have been given her by Jesus to pray.  A friend had sent the brochure with the seven-paragraph prayer, each covering a different aspect of Jesus' life and Passion.  One is to pray the Our Father and a Hail Mary prior to praying the words of each paragraph.

This hermit go through four of the seven.  With each, there was an appreciation of the aspects of praying for forgiveness and to improve in areas of life such as giving up sins of the heart, sins of the spirit, sins of the body, and so forth.  But the hermit found itself re-reading and back-tracking sometimes mid-sentence.  Just could not keep the mind focused!  

Ah, the hermit decided to try again the next day, then the next.  And it was this failure to successfully read-pray through a lovely verbal-mental prayer, that this consecrated Catholic hermit bemoaned its guilt and lack of discipline.  How sorry!  Why was it that the hermit delighted in and had the will and discipline--even to cling to--these forms of prayers when it first converted to the Faith 21 years ago?  What has happened?  

In this vein of thought-flashing conversation with the Lord, the hermit proceeded to apologize and self-chastise.  Then through the silent din within of its conversation, the Lord spoke:

Just talk to Me.

Ah.  So simple, so pure, so loving, so honest, so understanding is His Real Presence!  Just talk to Me.

Perhaps He is pleased with the banter, after all, that the hermit puts forth in stream of consciousness, interior converse with God, with Mary, with various saints, angels, and souls known and unknown to the hermit who lived and died and live again in fullness of Light on the other side.

Just that morning, when the young helper and the hermit had a most difficult time unsticking a blade in a tool so we could change it, the hermit had interiorly prayed to the patron saint of tools, whoever that might be, to please help us.  Instantaneously, the blade mechanism dislodged, freeing the effort.
Prior, when we searched diligently for the blade we wanted to install, the hermit asked Little Child Jesus to help us find it, and prayed that aloud.  Lo and behold, the blade was found in an unlikely spot.  "Thank You, Child Jesus," the hermit cheered, but then a rude aside, "but why did You take so long?"  And then an immediate, "Sorry for being so rude, Jesus!  Thankful You helped us find it!"

The other day a friend's husband could not find a swimming pool leak.  His heart is doing poorly, and going under water, holding his breath, caused some frightening, bodily symptoms.  "We need to ask the Prophet Jonah to help your husband," suggested the hermit.  The thought had just popped to mind. Of course, it is the Holy Spirit Who pops these ideas to the fore.  We just have to snatch them out of thin air and put them to action.  "He certainly knows about underwater experiences.  Three days he was in the belly of the whale, and in reality is an archetype for Jesus' three days until resurrection.

Three days later, the friend emailed with much excitement.  That day, her husband surprised himself.  He found the leak after three days of underwater searching.   While he scoffed that it was in answer to requesting Jonah to help locate the leak, attributing it to another silly Catholic superstition (his wife is Catholic; he is not), he did say he appreciated the prayers, all the same.  That counts!  

His wife and this hermit thanked the Holy Spirit and the Prophet Jonah.  No doubts in our minds.

So the brochure of the prayers purported to be ones Jesus asked St. Bridget to pray and promote, remains on the floor here by the mattress in this fixer-upper, Te Deum Hermitage.  The hermit has decided to review the main points of each paragraph of worded prayers, to get the gist.  It has asked St. Bridget to please pray these verbal prayers on behalf of the hermit, as they are lovely prayers, and beautifully worded, but somehow the hermit cannot keep focus when reading them.

The hermit is going to just keep talking to Jesus, telling Him all, sharing all, asking all, loving all, and listening to all that Jesus has to say to the hermit, day in and night out.

"Just talk to Me," Jesus said.

That's good.  That's real.  That's profound.  That's the truth.  And that's simple enough for this tired out old hermit with work galore to try to tend to the prayer requests of others and to keep renovating this fixer upper it got itself into, to be able to pray with full and sincere body, mind, heart, and spirit.  Praise God!

Catholic Hermit Shares Some Lights from Pseudo-Macarius and -Dionysius

In preface, an explanation of the construct of Pseudo-Macarius' intent of the word perfect Christian:

Macarius is not using the world perfect Christian to mean that such have become confirmed in grace and no longer need to be attentive to the sinful roots within them.  It means that such have advanced through long years of asceticism and inner attentiveness to the evil within and live more habitually in the contemplative union with the indwelling Trinity, a state that is always in process of greater growth, that encourages a hunger all the more to enter into the spiritual combat and never yield to sloth."

Now, to share what resonates with this Catholic hermit of Macarius' spiritual insights, gifted soul that he was circa 5th century and throughout the centuries vis a vis his homilies.

"Perfect Christians, who are considered worthy to reach a degree of perfection and to come close to the King, are continually dedicated to the cross of Christ.  Just like the anointing in the times of the prophets was considered absolutely a most precious thing, since kings and prophets were anointed, so also now spiritual persons, who are anointed with a heavenly anointing, become Christians by grace, so that they too become kings and prophets of heavenly mysteries.  Indeed, these are the sons and lords and gods, bound and held captive, plunged deeply, crucified and consecrated.  

"For the anointing with oil, a thing which came from a material plant, a visible tree, had so great a power that those who were anointed obtained a dignity beyond questioning (for ti was decreed that they were thus made kings).  Davide was anointed and immediately was exposed to persecutions and afflictions, and after the seventh year was he made king.

"How much more do all who have been anointed in mind and the interior man with the sanctifying and joy-giving, heavenly and spiritual 'oil of gladness' (Heb 1:9), receive the sign of that kingdom of imperishable and eternal power, namely 'the pledge of the Spirit.' (2 Cor 5:5), the Holy Spirit and the Paraclete?  Understand by the Paraclete, the one who consoles and pours out joy upon all who are heavily burdened."

Turning to the writings of Dionysius, this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit can grasp why the writings of this holy and sanctified man, also circa 5th c., influenced St. John of the Cross.  Dionysius was inspired to introduce the three ways of the spiritual life.  While his triad is termed the purification, the illumination, and the perfected, John of the Cross did not verge far in labeling the three ways of spiritual progression the purgative, the intuitive, and the unitive.

But Dionysius writes extensively of hierarchies, taking us from the temporal and tangible profoundly into the spiritual and mystical.  He casts out into the deep; he climbs the stairway to heaven and takes the reader with him, if they so wish to stretch their hearts and minds to what he is trying to impart.  

One wonders if Macarius and Dionysius had access to one or the others writings in their time period on earth.  For Dionysius writes of the threefold division of every hierarchy of God's creation:  inanimate, plants, animals, humans, celestial, and the sacred Godhead.  He explains further.

"...in our sacred tradition every hierarchy is divided in three.  There are the most reverend sacraments.  There are those, inspired by God, who understand and purvey them.  And there are those who are sacredly initiated into these.

"Now the most holy hierarchy among the beings of heaven possesses the native sacramental power of a most completely immaterial conception of God and of things divine.  It is their lot to be as like God and as imitative of God as is possible. These first beings around God lead others and with their light guide them toward this sacred perfection.  To the sacred orders farther down the scale they generously bestow, in proportion to their capacity, the knowledge of the workings of God, knowledge forever made available as a gift to themselves by that divinity which is absolute perfection and which is the source of wisdom for the divinely intelligent beings.  The ranks coming in succession to these premier beings are sacredly lifted up by their mediation to enlightenment in the sacred workings of the divinity. They form the orders of initiates and they are named as such.

"In succession to this heavenly and transcendent hierarchy the divinity extends its most sacred gifts into our domain and, in the words of Scripture, it deals with us as though we were 'babes.'  It bestowed on us in the hierarchy of the Law.  It veiled truth with obscure imagery. It employed the palest copies of originals.  It resorted to dense enigmas and to symbolism whose meaning is discerned with the maximum difficulty.  To avoid harm it granted only as much light as suited the weak eyes looking up to it. In this hierarchy of the Law the 'sacrament' consisted of an uplifting to worship in spirit...."

Dionysius continues on, explaining each level of spirit, of souls, and of their work and efforts in the divine power of the process of lifting up to God, of initiating the initiates with what they can understand, and then the next level of souls illuminating them (as they were illuminated and lifted up, as well, by God's grace and light), and then the sacred souls strive to perfect the illuminated, drawing them up likewise to sanctification, to become sacred, to union with the Divine.

This is enough to ponder, here.  Let our hearts and minds and souls consider these insights, and be open to whatever understanding and light the Holy Spirit wishes to impart in us.  At least let us realize that we are called to rise beyond the point of initiation, beyond the level of purification, and onto being illuminated, and then pray for the grace and sheer love and desire of God to be drawn up into that amount of perfection of which Macarius also writes and explains, so that His Real Presence, the Trinity, will make His abode in us, filling us with His will and divinity.

This may be too sublime for us to continue to attempt verbal description.  So this nothing Catholic hermit will cease attempting to express what these bright light souls of earlier centuries--enlightened and perfected Christians--can teach us of what the Holy Spirit has taught them of the loving and divine ascent...through Him, with Him, in Him forever.

Catholic Hermit Shares a Tad More from Pseudo-Macarius

More from Pseudo-Macarius from Homily 5:  The great difference between Christians* and men of this world.  For the latter, imbued with the spirit of the world, are in heart and mind held captive by earthly shackles.  Christians, however, are possessed by a love for their heavenly Father.  They keep him alone before their eyes in all their desires.

"...when we read in Scripture how such and such a just man pleased God, how he was made a friend and companion of God and how all the fathers were considered friends and participators of God, we forget one thing:  What great afflictions they had to suffer, how much they had to endure on behalf of God, with what great courage they struggled and fought battles!  We congratulate them and we wish to enjoy rewards and honors equal to theirs. We desire ardently to receive their outstanding gifts, but we fail to notice their labors, struggles, afflictions, and crucifixions.  We eagerly want honors and dignities such as they received from God, but we are not ready to accept their labors and struggles."


"Blessed Apostle Paul, in describing the heavenly treasure, that is, the grace of the Spirit, explains also the multitude of tribulations and at the same time shows what each one ought to strive for while in this life:  'We know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle be dissolved, we have a building of God, a house not made by hands, eternal in Heaven' (2Cor 5:1).

"Therefore, let all strive and labor with all the virtues and let them believe that they, even here, may possess that house.  For even if the house of our body is dissolved, we have no other house to which the soul can turn.  It is said: 'If, being clothed, we shall not be found naked' (2 Cor 5:3), naked, that is, of the communion and fellowship of the Holy Spirit in which the faithful soul can alone find rest."

"How, therefore, ought each of us to believe and to strive and to be dedicated to live a full virtuous life?  With much hope and endurance we should now desire the privilege of receiving that heavenly power and the glory of the Holy Spirit interiorly in the soul so that then, when our bodies will have been dissolved, we may receive what shall clothe and vivify us.  It says, 'If so be that being clothed we shall not be found naked' (2 Cor 5:3), and 'He shall bring to life our mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwells in us' (Rom 8:11)."

"Therefore, each one of us should strive and make every effort to pursue diligently all virtues.  We ought to believe and seek from the Lord that the inner man receive even now this glory and that we may participate in the holiness of the Spirit so that, purged from all sordid traces of evil, we may receive also in the resurrection what will clothe our bodies as they rise naked, what will cover over any deformity, will vivify and transform them in the heavenly kingdom forever."

This morning, when discussing with a young friend across the many miles that separate us physically, we came up with a challenge to pray and ask His Real Presence to take away whatever attachments we have to temporal loves and passions that are hindering us--and that He knows we can handle their being removed.  (We added this latter part due to the reality that we might tend to exceed in our zeal and desires, what we can humanly part with at this stage of our spiritual lives--for He knows best.)

But we are willing and desirous, and we plan to point out to one another (accountability!) what is at the root of any unhappiness or upset, for there surely always be at the root some attachment or other to a temporal love.  In fact, we challenged one another, there and then on the phone, to come up with just ONE temporal love that we could honestly say or prove does not hinder us in some way, does not trip us up in the mind and emotions.  We could find NONE.

Perhaps you readers might want to join in our prayer and challenge to let go of whatever temporal loves that attach us and hinder us from love of God above all else--and limit us then from His perfect love that will filter and project, then, onto and in all His created souls and creation.

*Pseudo-Macarius was writing in a region and time period in which there was not the divergence among Christians as in our time period and cultures.  Today's Christians are diverse in degrees of following Christ; for example, some are termed "devout" or "orthodox," and others are termed "Christian in name only."  We Christians today could some of us find ourselves in Pseudo-Macarius' category of "men of the world."  Or perhaps today he'd have three categories:  "Christians,"  "lukewarm/worldly Christians", and "men of this world."

Catholic Hermit: Thoughts of Pseudo-Macarius on Love of God and Temporal Detachment

From the fifth sermon of Pseudo-Macarius:

"For whatever passion a person does not manfully fight against, that is an object of his love.  Such an attachment dominates and holds him down.  It becomes for him an impediment and a chain that prevents him from directing his mind to God and from pleasing him.  In no way can he serve God alone and obtain the kingdom and reach eternal life.

"The soul that truly tends toward the Lord completely forces itself to a total love of him.  It is held fast in a willed dedication, as far as is possible, to God alone.  From him it attains the help of grace. Such a person denies himself and does not obey the will of his mind, because he knows that the mind tends to deal with us in a deceitful way, seducing us to evil.  He yields himself perfectly to the Word of the Lord and frees himself from every visible bond as far as he can will it.  He surrenders completely to the Lord and thus will be able to undergo successfully struggles, labors, and setbacks. Wherever there is a question of affection, there is either a help or an obstacle.  If someone loves something of the world, this becomes for him a burden and a bondage dragging him downward and not allowing him to rise upward to God.

"If, however, he loves the Lord and loves his commandments, this becomes his help.  He is strengthened by this.  His observance of all the Lord's precepts becomes easy for him and tilts him toward the good, or rather, it makes lighter and easier every battle and affliction.  Through divine power he cuts through the world and through the powers of evil which lay snares for the human soul in the world and which use all sorts of desires as nets to ensnare the soul in the depths of the world.  In such a way he is freed from such snares by means of his own faith and great courage and through heavenly aid.  He is accounted worthy of the eternal kingdom which was the goal of his desiring.  He receives from the Lord help and he will not lose eternal life."

And then Pseudo-Macarius adds after giving some Scriptural examples as well as daily life examples...

"Do you not see the complete centering upon the Lord of a perfect love freely given?  And so also those who wish to follow in their footsteps must love nothing besides God so that, when they are tried, they may be found authentically prompt in preserving their love, their perfect love for the Lord.  Such as these are able to endure conflict to the end who have completely and with their whole heart loved God alone and who have freed themselves from all other loves for the world.  Few, however, are found who enjoy such a love, turning away from all pleasures and desires of the world and who manfully endure the assaults and temptations of the evil one."

Pseudo-Macarius insightfully makes a few more points, but this seems enough to sip and savor for now.

God bless His Real Presence in us, and us in His Real Presence.  Let us each and all remain in His Love!

Catholic Hermit Tuckered Out, Yet God's

Today this consecrated Catholic hermit is living up to its moniker as "nothing"--as in doing nothing, or not much.  Yet even though we may feel or think we are doing not much of anything of value or importance, we exist in His Real Presence.  We remain.  Remaining in His Love are Words the Word of Life repeats often in the Gospel of John.

It is a very good command, piece of advice, admonition, or whatever we can attempt in trying to depict God's Words to us.  Truth, it seems, might be the best.  He speaks Truth:  Remain in My Love.

So this hermit is remaining in His Love today while otherwise not doing much of anything physical...other than breathing, thinking, writing, reading, drinking, eating, existing in this tiny cell of Te Deum Hermitage.

Just plum tuckered out, am.  For the last few days have been working the earth.  Some spots have quite a bit of sandy soil with small, gravelly stones.  There has been a dearth of rain other than some sprinkles, so the hose has been put to good use, and the well water is holding--well, rather well.

This morning did read the fifth homily of Pseudo-Macarius.  He continues to exhort, with lots of Scriptural backing, the good and the why and the wherefore of detaching from temporal loves in order to love God above all else and to, thus, remain in His Love.

A friend emailed, saying she found it a bit disturbing to read and understand because if people all detached from temporal loves, wouldn't it be rather an unloving and non-interactive existence?  So she was going to re-read the sermon.  Good!

There is such good in this sermon, such truth!  And, when reading it, one begins to experience the validity of the Scriptures and what Jesus means in His Words.  When we detach from our temporal attachments and loves, it is to attach to God's Love.  Thus, in His Love, remaining in His Love--the Father and Christ make their abode in us, and the Holy Spirit binds and flows the love, both and all.

So we love with His Real Presence's Love, not our temporal loves, not our temporal attempts at what we think might be love, and not with attachment to our or others temporal loves.

It seems very important for us to grasp this truth about loving God above all else and detaching from temporal loves.  There is nothing really wrong about it, or askew.  At first this hermit thought perhaps Pseudo-Macarius was going to explain that detaching from temporal love and attaching to God's love, was for those called to consecrated life or holy orders.  But no, Macarius is preaching the Living Word of God, and he cites Jesus, through and through.  This is for everyone:  Love God in Himself.

When we remain in His Love, when we love Him above all else and detach from the temporal loves that do indeed hinder us from His Love, then we lose our willfulness toward what we have attached ourselves to, in love, of the temporal--and we become at home and attached into the Love of His Real Presence.

Maybe it is kind of like a projector, and God projects His perfect love through us to all else, once we detach from trying to project our imperfect love of temporal persons and things and places.  Just let go, and remain in His Love.  Let His Love be the attachment.  Then all else will flow with perfect love, and we will lose our will into His perfect, loving will.

Consider how it might be to have His projection of His perfect Love reflecting in and through us, like light, casting love onto others, things, and places as if they are images on the screen of life past, present, and future.  How could we then find enemies repulsive?  How would we then have concern over our daily existences and temporal cares?  God's perfect love does not fear or worry; His Love is peace, wisdom, truth, goodness, beauty.  Remaining in His Love projects Him, not us.

Temporal loves hinder us because of attachment to self, self-love.  When we become His Love, the self dissolves into Him, and His is the love; He is the attachment--the only one we ever needed or need, forever.  His Love flows and fills, then, the spiritual, as well as overflows the temporal for as long as our temporal parts are in the temporal.

Perhaps there is a section to share from Pseudo-Macarius' 5th sermon out of 50.  Might share some bits of the treasure in another blog post.

God bless His Real Presence in us, and us in Him!  Let us love one another--through, with, and in Him.  Detach from our temporal loves, and attach to His Love.  Therein is perfect love and our freedom from all temporal hindrances.  In His perfect Love, the projection and perception change all.

Catholic Hermit Shares Pseudo-Macarius: On Earthly Loves

May is the month of Mary, Mother of God.  In this country (USA), Mother's Day is celebrated on the second Sunday of May.  In June, Father's Day is celebrated on the third Sunday.  In the history of the Church, the hermit vocation is one in which many hermits had been married and were parents to children.  So it is that this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit has been considering how it was and is to be a parent and yet a hermit in the Consecrated Life of the Church.

Historically, in some cases, the Catholic hermits of yore who were also spouses and parents, professed the hermit vows after receiving permission from their spouses and children, and with approval of their priest or other such spiritual advisor.  In most incidents of hermits who also were married and had children, life situations played out first, prior to their answering God's call to the hermit life.

In this very first week of May, we find hermits on the saint calendar whose spouses had died and their children old enough to either enter monasteries themselves, or were otherwise on their own by then, so that the parent professed the hermit vows and entered into the hermit life.

One woman had eight children, was widowed, and each child was of age to enter monasteries which at that time often took in children to rear in the absence of parents (and also took them much younger than now, to educate them or as potentially remaining in their orders, when the children expressed desire to be a religious brother or sister).  The patron saint of Switzerland received permission from his wife and his yet-at-home children, to live in a hermit hut in the Alps and fulfill a call he received to the hermit life.

Yet we do not have many specific details of how the parents-to-be-hermits or the younger or adult children of hermit-parents, lived out this shift in parental vocation.  So this nothing Catholic hermit of today, has been pondering what it may have been for the adolescent and mostly adult children of the hermits of yore who were widowed, abandoned by an errant spouse, or whose children had grown to an age of leaving the nest to live out their adult lives.

Perhaps due to lesser modes of communication and also difficulty in traveling, the hermits of yore may not have faced the dilemma of hermits today who have been spouses and parents previous to the call by God to the hermit vocation.  

From personal experience, having been a spouse to a spouse who no longer wished to remain married and left, as well as a parent to three children, the call to the hermit life came in gradual stages and with other terms used.  The word "hermit" was not introduced until a few years beyond conversion to Catholicism and as the youngest child was readying to leave home for college.

Frankly, being a single parent of adult children, two married and one nearly so, and two with children themselves, is awkward.  Part of the awkwardness is having a chronic disability [pain] and part is being single and part is being a consecrated hermit in the Catholic Church when none of the children are practicing Catholics, and two do not claim Christ.  If there were an earthly spouse, there might be stronger boundaries as to expected temporal roles and interactions.  There might be a greater or more acceptable sense of the single parent having a "life" of his or her "own."

As it is now, the prayer time, spiritual reading, writing, book discussion, and spiritual correspondence are virtually unknown or at least unrecognized by the adult children. Thus, it may be thought that the single parent [this hermit!] does not have its own life and thus is kind of out there, as a dangling responsibility or frustration or problem to be looked after and resolved.  One of the three has accepted the task of keeping in contact and interacting.  

However, the entire aspect of the spiritual life as a consecrated hermit does not seem to resonate, or is not understood, perhaps, by the adult child and her family.  This is possibly due to their not being Catholics and partly because when the hermit does interact with them, it is as a single parent and grandparent--a person in physical pain and rather limited in active ways--and not as consecrated Catholic hermit.  The hermit has only recently admitted to the adult child that its main offering and gift to share with others are the spiritual and helping with gardening or other simple, manual labor pursuits.

Perhaps a habit worn or some sort of public recognition might remind that this hermit does have a life of its own, a life of spiritual value with its own rule and way of being?  But this hermit is not called to justify or make credible its hermit vocation through externals.  This hermit is called to live its vocation in the silence of solitude, in praise and prayer and penance, in stricter separation from the world and hidden from the eyes of men.  Yet charity is pivotal in the Gospel Rule of Life--the perfect rule.

Regardless, being a single parent of adult children, especially when the other spouse is physically active, financially well-off, and remarried as are both the divorced parents of the adult child's spouse, makes this phase of parent-child relationships awkward for this consecrated hermit who is also a single parent of adult children.  His Real Presence has figured it out according to His perfect will.  This hermit has not and maybe ought not--just trust His Real Presence and go with God's flow.

When reading a section in the fourth homily of Pseudo-Macarius, the content struck a soul-chord. The elderly friend with whom this hermit is across-the-miles reading the book and e-discussing it, concurred that it did fit well the hermit's unfolding and altering relationship and love of adult children and other family members, the more the hermit steeps in its vocation and is brought to full flavor by His Real Presence, over the present moment spiritual passages of temporal time and experiences.

Whether or not other consecrated Catholic hermits (publicly or privately professed) who are single parents of adult children (and toss in the factor of the children not being Catholics) experience the awkwardness of parent-family expectations of adult children and (hermit) parent, the thoughts of Pseudo-Macarius help this hermit understand better the progression in both "roles".  (Perhaps a hermit priest might also grasp the situation, with previous parishioners not quite understanding the shifted role and life of the priest-called-to-and-living the hermit life.)

"Just as iron or lead or gold or silver, if thrown into fire, will melt and be transformed from its natural hardness to a soft substance, and as long as it remains in the fire becomes all the more a molten liquid, losing its natural hardness because of the powerful heat of the fire, the same is true for the soul that has turned away from the world in its desire for the Lord alone.  It awaits god, unflagging in hope and faith.  It has then truly freed from all attachment to the world....It considers all other things superfluous compared to the heavenly Bridegroom alone.  It rests in his fervent and ineffable love.

"I tell you that even those brothers, loved in God, whom the soul thinks so highly of, if they are a source of leading it away from that love for God, it, I would say, would reject such.  For that is its life and rest, namely, the mystical and ineffable participation of the heavenly kingdom.  For if an earthly, loving participation of spouses can separate the pair from their fathers, brothers, mothers, and all other things become for them rather extrinsic in their way because of their deep conjugal love for each other--for it is said:  'For this reason, let a man leave his father and mother and adhere to his wife and they will be two in one flesh' (Gn 2:24)--if, therefore, I say, earthly love can detach one from all other loves, how much more in the case of those who have been made worthy to enter into a true fellowship with that holy Spirit, the heavenly and loving Spirit?  They shall be freed from all worldly love.  All other things will seem indifferent to them since they have been conquered by a heavenly yearning and have become totally one in that surrendered state."

Pseudo-Macarious continues the Scriptural and holy insights, but we get the flow.  

It seems that the situation at hand for this consecrated Catholic hermit who has adult children and some grandchildren, and various relatives not Catholic and not viewing the hermit as a hermit and part of the Consecrated Life of the Catholic Church but rather from their perspective as a parent, sibling, relative, friend--the best avenue remains this awkward one.  

In charity, this hermit must continue to strive to remove awkwardness from the relationships and simply be what the others perceive, yet at the same time, interiorly be very much living the rule of life, the Gospel Rule, and do so with the platform of the Nine S'* as modality of that rule.  The hermit vocation at this phase is the vocation; the parental-sibling-cousin-relative-friend role is superseded other than in the others' perceptions and needs.

Then, in the vast majority of time and place, the hermit pursues that true fellowship with the Holy Spirit, freed of all worldly love.  The hermit enters into the consuming fire of God-Is-Love.  And, admittedly, some of the awkwardness has resided with the hermit in not grasping God's game plan for this phase of life as a consecrated Catholic hermit, a nothing to all but God's All, though it be.  The hermit has waffled at times in thinking it should enter more into the familial world, or should have specific family love and attachments.  

But no, this is not at all to be.  To love, yes, but in God Is Love--no longer as active, involved, responsible parent-love.  God rights the situation according to His Word.  The adult children are to cleave unto each other and live their married vocations.  If the hermit had a son who was called into Holy Orders, would it not expect that son to live his priestly vocation?  

This consecrated Catholic hermit is, also, to live its vocation in the Order of the Present Moment, which for the past 14 years has been as consecrated Catholic hermit.  The parent role remains in charity of charity, on an as-requested- and as-needed-by-adult-children basis.  And that is not often, if truth be told.  God rights all matters according to His Word and Will in the Order of the Present Moment.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another for Love is of God! Remain in His Love, and all will be as He wills.

*Nine S':  Silence, Solitude, Slowness, Suffering, Selflessness, Simplicity, Stillness, Stability, Serenity