Catholic Hermit: Docility and Gifts of Holy Spirit

Very much pain today, especially upon waking.  For second night, I have awakened in the wee hours, the pain needing help and time to pass before sleep came again.  I made myself walk yesterday; I also tested standing a bit, without the brace, while putting together cranberries, apple, orange--sliced with manual chopper.  Perhaps it was the standing without brace that caused the pain-sickness all day and even this evening.

Without testing out the potential, we do not learn what are the limits or boundaries which are able to expand and extend in the temporal world, to some degree or other, at least until a point, no more.  In the supernatural, in the realm of spiritual graces, there are not limits to progression and growth other than the hindrances of attachment and sin.

So I'm learning from Fr. Reginald Garrigou-Lagrange, more about the acquired moral virtues, the infused moral virtues, the three theological virtues of faith, hope, and charity, and of the various virtues' relationship and inter-relationship with the corresponding spiritual gifts of the Holy Spirit.

And now I am learning (more, being reminded for I have read in the past but not learned it as in fully, without needing more teaching and reminding, so am progressively "learn-ing") that docility of soul is necessary to free us from our moral defects.

Only by being docile to the inspirations of the spiritual gifts of the Holy Spirit can our souls free ourselves from certain moral defects (Three Ages of Interior Life, p.85).  "The gifts of the Holy Ghost are given to all the just precisely to enable them to receive with docility these special inspirations, whose superhuman mode, that is at first latent, grows progressively more manifest if the soul is docile" (ibid., p. 85).

As to the will, St. John of the Cross holds firm that the purity of the will relies upon passive purifications, that is, the senses and the soul being purified of such moral and psychological impurities including outward vices as well as unconscious ones such as secret pride and egoism involving such as lack of detachment of spiritual goods.  The good news is, there is a normal process in progress in the virtues through prayer and great humility (as St. Teresa of Avila points out).

Also, we are encouraged because St. John of the Cross also notes that passive purifications are part of the normal way of sanctity; the soul progresses further not only in purification of senses but also as God teaches and refreshes the soul in the way of the spirit, of infused contemplation.  "St. John most certainly wished to note here not something accidental, but something that is produced normally in the way of sanctity when a soul that is truly docile to the Holy Ghost does not recoil in the face of trial" (ibid., p.88).

Where does this leave us?  I am taking from this (and the section read in The Three Ages of the Interior Life) that I must focus on humility as a base, and desire for my soul to unite in God as summit.  In between, since I've been given the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, I want to be more open to the needed benefits of wisdom, understanding, knowledge, counsel, and piety, fortitude, and fear as well as their corresponding virtues of charity, faith, hope, prudence, and religion, religion, and temperance.

I want to more appreciate these gifts of the Holy Spirit by meditating on them in prayerful manner, and hopefully in God be raised to a point of contemplation of their grandeur as gifts from a most docile attitude and spiritual prostration, as possible, on my part.  Since I've prayed sincerely for better grasp and utilization of wisdom, I am going to begin with that gift of the Holy Spirit, and will consider its corresponding virtue of charity.

Really, all this enters into a mystical order in which I ask to be shown hindrances remaining in my body, mind, heart, and soul, and ask for purification from the attachments and sins against charity.  This is not usually a one-time-and-done proposition or situation.  What I've been learning from reading is that even souls that have reached the unitive way or life, who are considered no longer to be proficients but of the perfected, can still progress further in charity through continued infused contemplation and ongoing docility to the inspirations of the Holy Spirit.

I realize I'm not explaining all or most aspects of this clearly or well.  What I do know is that of humility and docility being requisite, and of being open to and cooperative with detachments as part of the purifying process--of senses (physical, temporal, matter) and of aspects (spiritual attachments) of my soul and sprit.  I am going forth in trust, prayerfully asking for more guidance and understanding of wisdom and charity, and otherwise letting the Holy Spirit lead me forth in whatever ways necessary.

Practically, I will avail myself to His Real Presence without distractions of reading or speaking or noises in background, or activity, and just be for God, whatever He wants in the silence of my essential nothingness.  This for me will be challenging due to physical pain; it is not easy for me to be still in His Real Presence due to noticing the pain more.  But this is how I must avail myself--try not to recoil in the face of a trial, in my case: pain.  That is the docility to the Holy Spirit I must offer, and whatever more of which I do not yet know.

For most, contemplation and infused contemplation moves from providing some effort (acquired) to God's taking over, gifting, or infusing contemplative state.  It is in the infused contemplative state that some few might experience some type of "sign" or extraordinary spiritual experience. Again, most do not.  The signal or sign is just that, and extraordinary--not the ordinary state of infused contemplation.  The sign or extraordinary is that which is yet another temptation in attachment to that spiritual experience even if not consciously so; detach from it by remaining docile to the Holy Spirit and allow God to be all to our nothingness.

I'm going to begin, as I mention above, with the gift of wisdom and the virtue of charity.  There may be various processes and aspects of vices and attachments I must be shown and detach from, but I want to love God more and more, and here are excellent teachers in St. Thomas Aquinas, St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, and Fr. Garrigou-Lagrange, and over all and beyond, the Holy Spirit, the Paraclete, the Third Person of the Holy Trinity.  It's bound to be a win-win without needing to leave the icy pad on my bed, or if tomorrow brings less pain, I can offer myself while taking physical steps on a walk.

On a more temporal note, I was feeling out of hermit balance today, so I decided best to speak to a couple human beings about whatever they were interested in, via one who called me and the other whom I called.  In the one whom I called, I asked prayers that I accept and be fully satisfied with spiritual communion and spiritual reconciliation since I'd not heard from the woman who used to bring Communion once a week, and I could not physically go to confession.  Not an hour later, after about three months silence, I received a text from the woman who used to bring me Communion.  She wanted to know if I'd be here on Tuesday afternoon, as she'd like to begin again.  Yes, where else?

I do think the Holy Spirit wants me to learn to let go of what I want, or all types of attachments--even those I think or anyone would think are reasonable, good, proper, and holy.  This includes possessions, people who can be in essence beloved or desired possessions, and even the possessing of the tangible form rather than mystical form of the Sacraments.  I must let go of whatever is not happening or seeming to happen or be.  Let the Holy Spirit decide what, when, where, how, who, and even if He wills, the why of any and all.

Just let go.  This is a form of purification of the senses and spirit, with the purification of the spirit being more hidden from our conscious awareness that we are even attached or hanging on to that which we must be detached in order for God to will and determine for us that we are nothing and need nothing but God.

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit: Praying for Wisdom

I've not walked in three days now.  Easy to glum onto weather alerts, to then have an excuse for what is very good exercise.  

The morning's Lyft rides to the dermatologist and back provided a new Prius (small, low to ground, but interesting conversation with young man) and return trip in a Toyota Tacoma--another miracle in another truck.  Also a good conversation even if not getting to a spiritual depth that the young Lyft driver provided.  

However, I am beginning to again focus on aspects of hermit vocation as The Catechism reminds: my life a silent preaching of the Lord....  Let Christ be visible without my self being in the way.  I can tell this will be an engaging and delightful practice!  It is a relief in so many aspects, to die to self:  just let go, even let the pain be more than what am "I"--actually nothing!  

The pain has made itself known, regardless, thus my spending the rest of the day prone on icy pad on bed, other than trash out to street, a most short walk, an unexpected call from a cousin who asked help with ideas on how to word an invitation for an open house she and her husband will host for their son and his bride.

(This is an example:  my cousin calling, and not at all in her mind, a thought of my being a consecrated Catholic hermit, or what my thoughts were at the time, or the very spiritual discussion with the first Lyft driver this morning--a young Catholic man most intent on striving to do God's will, to help make the world a better place, and to "be" prominent as a success in this life for God and for others.  I have been praying about some of the young man's intent, and asking the Holy Spirit to give him the patience he mentioned to me he needs for his desires of goodness, to which I mentioned to the young man I also need patience in my yearning for an abiding union with Christ, or even more, although I did not state it, my desire for Christ to come take me with Him.  Well, I find Jesus in my pain; and that must suffice for now!  None of these thoughts did my cousin detect--nor of my prayers for a stronger grasp of the virtues, acquired, and of greater grasp of the infused virtues, and also of the gifts of the Holy Spirit:  May I praise God for all and utilize them far better and according to His Holy Will!  I offered encouragement and options for the invitation, and when asked, offered advice in words she mentioned to me years ago, relative to "Go along to get along" when a specific desire of her son did not match with what she thought regarding alcohol or no alcohol at the celebratory event being planned.)

Throughout my reading and praying in the silence of solitude here at Solus Deus, and permeating the existing and relating and listening to nurse, doctor, Lyft drivers, cousin from afar, and bits of sorrowful news of another school shooting, the desire of my heart and soul remains in mind:  Pray for wisdom.  It is the foremost prominent gift of the Holy Spirit, given me with the other six gifts at my Confirmation, and part of the kernel within the seed of sanctifying grace.

I also ask to have the infused virtue of prudence primed and pumped within my mind, heart, and soul and for my temporal life to receive and utilize an increase in acquired prudence.  The two--acquired/learned and infused/spiritual virtues ought be in balance.  And it is written that prudence is the director or impetus of implementation of the other moral virtues: justice, temperance, fortitude.

This portion of Scripture from the Book of Wisdom caught my outer sight and inner senses yesterday.  Today I'm sharing with you, Dear Readers, because for you, as well, the Lord speaks to you and teaches you His Mind and Heart--unites you in Him--through His Living Word.  Perhaps not in this present moment are you beseeching greater understanding and infusion of virtues and a fullness of the particular gift of Wisdom from the Holy Spirit, but you understand well how such desires and prayers for His gifts and graces will be desired, for God wills it!  Deus vult!

"To you, therefore, O [human soul], are My words addressed
that you may learn wisdom and that you may not sin.
For those who keep the holy precepts hallowed shall be found holy,
and those learned in them will have a ready response.
Desire therefore My words;
log for them and you shall be instructed."
     
                                       ~ Wisdom 6:7-11

To culminate my headachy thoughts with yet another desire of my heart, I add this verse--an exhortation--from the New Testament, 1 Thessalonians 5:18 which was yesterday's Holy Mass antiphon prior to the Gospel reading.

"In all circumstances, give thanks,
for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus."

Given the pain level despite medication and icy pad, I have not done the challenging reading today that is so helpful--Garrigou-Lagrange's The Three Ages of the Interior Life.  I might attempt even a paragraph or page later, but I've begun the biography recommended by the professor, the one I had not already read:  The Life of St. John of the Cross by Fr. Bruno de Jesus Marie.  The Introduction is written by the late Jacques Maritain; what a treat but also challenging in the quality of the writing.  

The reader can come to know these authors and their writing styles through the pages; what may have seemed challenging becomes a pleasure.  Scripture and other excellent spiritual writings can move the mind, heart, and soul beyond mental discursive meditation and into a contemplative experience. Through the Holy Spirit's power, author, reader, and subjects-- the minds, hearts, and souls connect between the words on the pages.  The thoughts become transformative by and in the Holy Spirit, between writers, readers, persons and their lives, thoughts, and souls.  We all meet in His Real Presence beyond the temporal, and in aspects beyond conscious knowing.  Mysterium tremendum!

With that, I'm encouraged to enter into John of the Cross' loving friendship and tutelage, along with Fr. Bruno de Jesus Maria, and those others to be introduced of John's life on earth.  All now spirit and in the Holy Spirit we gather and love God in Himself and one another.  John and I (and no doubt each of you readers) have suffering in common, and we share a love of Christ and desire for union in Him, as well.

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit: Gratitude Opens Souls to Graces

Another jewel given us through the Holy Spirit in the writings of St. Bernard of Clairvaux, 12th century, Cistercion abbot and Doctor of the Church.  This, from Sermon 27.

I'm having a difficult morning after a challenging night, last.  The physical pain is higher, but I am also so yearning for Christ, for my earthly end to come if He'd but return to me to take me with Him.  He told me in September, 2012, to "Wait"--that he had to leave to tend to some other souls but would return.

However, in my waiting, I have not utilized the temporal time as well as I ought.  I feel as if like the parable of the "unprofitable servant."  Even now, in turning back to the good spiritual reading that my late Spiritual Da encouraged me to do, in his last note card to me 10 months ago, the reading is challenging, for I'd tended, myself, to temporal construction skills and manual labor, and accepting a most harrowing form of being stripped down.  All that was very good, but the conversion, the turning to more spiritual reading and contemplation, requires another type of discipline, along with the increase in physical suffering, on going.

In the recent reading about acquired and infused virtues and the infused gifts of the Holy Spirit, and the needful sanctifying grace we are given as in a seed when our soul implanted in us when conceived and born into this world, the nurturing and tending this seed filled with sanctifying grace is to be our focus.  We are to increasingly desire the supernatural end of seeing God face to face, of being united in His Real Presence for eternity.

Last night I began praying earnestly for the infused virtues and that my acquired virtues be strengthened, and both acquired and infused be in balance--as Pere Gerrigou-Lagrange terms, a happy medium.  I pray with hope in God for my faith to be increased, and for charity, the supreme grace and theological virtue grow within me to whatever perfection God desires for me.  And in that, I know He wills supreme good and perfect love, as God Is Love; the Holy Spirit is Love, Jesus Christ is Love.

The yearning to be with Christ, in Him, taken from this life and world can become all-encompassing indeed; the waiting can seem insufferable in some aspects difficult to describe.  Yet the Holy Spirit instills peace within, and wisdom reminds of peace in the waiting.  So this morning, upon reading this from St. Bernard, on the Gospel in which we learn of the healing of the ten lepers, with the one who returned to thank Jesus for the grace, for the gift of healing, and mention of all the graces given us, I know that the Lord is speaking to each of us, all of us--and also any of us who so desire union with Christ.

In writing out these words of truth, my soul shall be all the more assured that what I ask of the graces, virtues, and embrace of the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit, will be given and increased as this is God's will!  And my gratitude for all that God's goodness and love, will grow, as well, even in the days and nights that pain and yearning and reality of my nothingness to God's All.  Waiting can become intense; gratitude to, for, of, in the Holy Trinity is my hymn in the waiting of whatever present moments.

The words in the following sermon are St. Bernard's help to me in yet another way of understanding what I am reading in Fr. Garrigou-Lagrange's The Three Ages of the Interior Life, of which he is explaining in those writings, what St. Thomas means in the Summa Theologica.  When I told the Holy Spirit who already knows my thoughts--told Him in the night and morning--that my comprehension of the reading is difficult for me, the Holy Spirit provides yet another saint to explain in yet another way as well as a means of making a place for and assurance of the graces in virtues and gifts of God that my soul sorely needs to progress as I wait for Jesus to come for me.

"How happy was that Samaritan leper who recognized that 'he possessed nothing he had not received' (I Cor 4:7).  'He guarded what had been entrusted to him' (2 Tim 1:12) and turned back to the Lord to thank Him.  Blessed are they who, after each gift of grace, turn back to Him in Whom is the fullness of all the graces, for if we show ourselves thankful in regard to Him for all we have received then we make ready a place for grace within ourselves...in even greater abundance.  In fact, our ingratitude is the only thing that prevents us making progress following our conversion....

"Happy, then, are they who think of themselves as strangers and who give great thanks for even the least blessing, thinking that everything given to a stranger and foreigner is a wholly free gift.  How unfortunate the wretched we are, on the other hand, if after first of all appearing timid, humble and pious, we then forget just how freely given is what we have received....

"I beg you then, brethren, let us remain ever more humbly under the mighty hand of God (I Pt 5:6)....Let us continue in thanksgiving with great devotion, and He will grant us the grace that alone can save our souls.  Let us show our gratitude, not just in our words and on our lips but in deed and in truth."

God bless His Real Presence in us!  

All will be well. God provides all necessary to this penitent, this contrite nothing of a consecrated Catholic hermit, simply a soul who loves deeply yet imperfectly for now, but in God's grace and tutelage.  In love of God in Himself, all will be healed within, and in gratitude I must wait, am able to wait, upheld and filled by God's magnanimous Spirit of all graces and gifts, in Christ Jesus, my savior.

Catholic Hermit Shares a Tad More from Pseudo-Macarius

More from Pseudo-Macarius from Homily 5:  The great difference between Christians* and men of this world.  For the latter, imbued with the spirit of the world, are in heart and mind held captive by earthly shackles.  Christians, however, are possessed by a love for their heavenly Father.  They keep him alone before their eyes in all their desires.

"...when we read in Scripture how such and such a just man pleased God, how he was made a friend and companion of God and how all the fathers were considered friends and participators of God, we forget one thing:  What great afflictions they had to suffer, how much they had to endure on behalf of God, with what great courage they struggled and fought battles!  We congratulate them and we wish to enjoy rewards and honors equal to theirs. We desire ardently to receive their outstanding gifts, but we fail to notice their labors, struggles, afflictions, and crucifixions.  We eagerly want honors and dignities such as they received from God, but we are not ready to accept their labors and struggles."


"Blessed Apostle Paul, in describing the heavenly treasure, that is, the grace of the Spirit, explains also the multitude of tribulations and at the same time shows what each one ought to strive for while in this life:  'We know that if our earthly house of this tabernacle be dissolved, we have a building of God, a house not made by hands, eternal in Heaven' (2Cor 5:1).

"Therefore, let all strive and labor with all the virtues and let them believe that they, even here, may possess that house.  For even if the house of our body is dissolved, we have no other house to which the soul can turn.  It is said: 'If, being clothed, we shall not be found naked' (2 Cor 5:3), naked, that is, of the communion and fellowship of the Holy Spirit in which the faithful soul can alone find rest."

"How, therefore, ought each of us to believe and to strive and to be dedicated to live a full virtuous life?  With much hope and endurance we should now desire the privilege of receiving that heavenly power and the glory of the Holy Spirit interiorly in the soul so that then, when our bodies will have been dissolved, we may receive what shall clothe and vivify us.  It says, 'If so be that being clothed we shall not be found naked' (2 Cor 5:3), and 'He shall bring to life our mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwells in us' (Rom 8:11)."

"Therefore, each one of us should strive and make every effort to pursue diligently all virtues.  We ought to believe and seek from the Lord that the inner man receive even now this glory and that we may participate in the holiness of the Spirit so that, purged from all sordid traces of evil, we may receive also in the resurrection what will clothe our bodies as they rise naked, what will cover over any deformity, will vivify and transform them in the heavenly kingdom forever."

This morning, when discussing with a young friend across the many miles that separate us physically, we came up with a challenge to pray and ask His Real Presence to take away whatever attachments we have to temporal loves and passions that are hindering us--and that He knows we can handle their being removed.  (We added this latter part due to the reality that we might tend to exceed in our zeal and desires, what we can humanly part with at this stage of our spiritual lives--for He knows best.)

But we are willing and desirous, and we plan to point out to one another (accountability!) what is at the root of any unhappiness or upset, for there surely always be at the root some attachment or other to a temporal love.  In fact, we challenged one another, there and then on the phone, to come up with just ONE temporal love that we could honestly say or prove does not hinder us in some way, does not trip us up in the mind and emotions.  We could find NONE.

Perhaps you readers might want to join in our prayer and challenge to let go of whatever temporal loves that attach us and hinder us from love of God above all else--and limit us then from His perfect love that will filter and project, then, onto and in all His created souls and creation.

*Pseudo-Macarius was writing in a region and time period in which there was not the divergence among Christians as in our time period and cultures.  Today's Christians are diverse in degrees of following Christ; for example, some are termed "devout" or "orthodox," and others are termed "Christian in name only."  We Christians today could some of us find ourselves in Pseudo-Macarius' category of "men of the world."  Or perhaps today he'd have three categories:  "Christians,"  "lukewarm/worldly Christians", and "men of this world."