Catholic Hermit: Persevering in Love No Matter What

Finally this morning I realized needed to increase medication dose.  Just way too much pain, and within a couple hours or less, the fog lifted, all angst was gone, and once more I realized that the pain had got me again!  Living in solitude, I do not recognize when the pain is interfering with my mind and emotions.  With pain managed and lessened some, whatever I was fussing about is silly and not at all a concern.

Monday morning I am going to bring up the pain pump surgery with the neurosurgeon, and I will do likewise with the pain doctor.  Four days of being rather out of it is really not prudent.  Nor is it positive, as those I'm trying to communicate with--others than a handful who know me very well--are left wondering what on earth is wrong with this person?  Why would anyone stress about this or that, "over think" as were the words used this time.  And they were absolutely correct.  But there is a reason for this dishevelment:  too much pain that is not adequately addressed with steady and regulated flow of medication I'll be on for life.

Well, it is humbling.  And all the more I know that the Lord is working it all out and allowing all to occur in His way and timing.  It is very good that the three-month neurosurgeon appointment is fresh upon me, for I will express the last several days' upheaval and "blur," plus how the intestines are affected.  That is a major reason why I do not like to increase the oral meds; they do not help the intestines nor the lungs but suppress their functionality.

Last evening I read a couple articles on the process of CL603 hermits--excellent articles published in journals.  In one of the articles, the process was complex and also very somber and rather rigid.  Seemed more a process for a religious order monk or nun, with emphasis on structure and rules and details that seem excessive or even restrictive, and are not written in any canons or other writings even of magisterial impact.  The wearing of a habit was made to seem requisite, and the reason given, in part, was that the hermit should wear a habit and be noticed as a hermit to help further the hermit vocation and to break the stereotypes of hermits among those in society.

I've had my experiences with wearing a habit as well as in wearing a simple garment but not a more traditional habit.  With both, I found reasons why best not to stand out.  Someone again--happened before--desires to get me to be interested in their church.  Is quite awkward.  Each time, I mention that I have a church, or try to generalize the topic by saying we are all the Body of Christ, but also thank the person to ease situation.  However, I did consider that one good point of a traditional, Catholic habit would be stopping others from trying to entice me from the Catholic Church.   I've had persons in the past convinced that I am destined to hell by being a Catholic; they sincerely want to rescue me.

But, I'm not interested in discussing the pros and cons of hermits wearing a religious habit.  My preference and reasoning remain preferring not to do so.  However, I would do so if I requested by a bishop.  I would like opportunity to point out reasons preferring not, but I would do as asked.  What difference to me personally does it make? I would need to wear overalls doing what manual labor my back can allow; I am in bed quite a bit, dressed in sleepwear.  I do not go out much, but would wear habit then.  I suspect that given the situation of the mystical state during Mass, a bishop would prefer I not draw attention; an obvious religious habit would indeed do that.

Per the reasoning of the article, though, I don't think a hermit's goal (or one of his or her purposes) is to help break stereotypes of what people think of hermits nor to normalize or advertise the hermit vocation for the Church.  While wearing habits might accomplish both to some extent, it would also set a barrier to some non-Catholics; and depending upon the hermit's locale, it could discourage the silent preaching and hidden witnessing of the hermit to others.  In my current neighborhood, my wearing a traditional-type, Catholic religious habit would be off-putting to all but perhaps one Catholic couple.  However, we never know who might be positively impressed.  Regardless, I don't have to be concerned with this, but I've realized I'd do as asked if the situation before me.

What is of most import to me is what Jesus reminds us through today's Gospel reading at Mass.  Matthew 5:43-48 proclaims Jesus' teaching about loving others, especially our enemies.  Jesus is quite clear in his advice to us.  And this reminds me, also, of one of the articles regarding process for hermit approval per CL603, that the rule of life to be written, was explained as rather involved, with various aspects needing to be included.  My rule of life does not include all those aspects mentioned--suggested that a bishop would expect and want.  

For a short while between 2000 and 2005 or so, my rule of life was to live and learn what I call the Nine S':  Silence, Solitude, Slowness, Suffering, Selflessness, Simplicity, Stillness, Stability, Serenity.  My spiritual father suggested to me the first three the day after my profession and avowal ceremony.  The Holy Spirit suggested the other six, and wanting nine S' because of the spiritual significance of fullness, completion, the perfect movement of God.  (Consider 9 months of gestation and fetal growth up to moment of birth.)k

But then I read a biography of St. Richard, a hermit of Great Britain a few centuries past.  He gave convincing reasons as to why he realized and chose the Gospel Rule, as it is the perfect rule of life.  Thus I adopted the Gospel Rule of Life, and understood that the Nine S' are a platform of sorts, an undergirding set of attitudes and ways of living out the Gospel Rule--the teachings of Christ, especially that of God's Law of Love.  Thus, the following guidance from Jesus as written in the Gospel of Matthew, I take as what I am to implement in my daily life, as also my hermit Rule of Life.

"Jesus said to his disciples:  'You have heard that it was said, You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.  But I say to you, love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your heavenly Father, for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good, and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust.  For if you love those who love you, what recompense will you have? Do not the tax collectors do the same?  And if you greet your brothers only, what is unusual about that?  Do not the pagans do the same?  So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect."

What stands out to me, this time, in reading and meditating on these verses, is that all of Jesus' advice has to do with what is our part, our duty, our prerogative to be, think, and do regarding others.  We are to love our enemies, pray for those who persecute us; we are to not just greet those we enjoy and love and who love us, but be kind and loving to those who dislike us or with whom we disagree.  Jesus does not get into the what if's.  What if the other person does not respond in kind?  What if the other person does not want to accept our love?  What if the other person continues to choose to be an enemy, to persecute us, to not change his or her ways as a result of our love and prayers?

Jesus strictly tells us how we are supposed to be and what we are supposed to do and say.  He tells us to be perfect, just as our heavenly Father is perfect.  We are to keep up our love of enemies and keep up the praying for those who persecute us to our last breaths.

A spiritual friend emailed, mentioning a Lenten Lesson she so needs to learn.  There is someone in the person's life who is quite annoying and rude in several ways.  Too much to go into and not necessary, but the friend realizes that the situation has caused anger and resentment, and ugly thoughts and feelings toward this intrusive, demanding person.  Praying for the irritating one has gone on for months and even years, but the frustration is at the point of animosity.  So the friend prays to be released from the angry and frustrating feelings and thoughts toward the other.

I think we all can relate.  There are always people in our lives from time to time or for years who seem to have taken up residence in our lives who have made themselves enemies by rudeness or ugly behavior of one sort or another.  Seems there is nothing we can say or do to the other that helps solve the problem or gets them to get on with their own lives or to leave us be in peace.  

The Gospel today was ideal with what Jesus advises, but I also read this advice from St. Maximus the Confessor (c. 580-662), a monk and theologian.  I sent this following selection in an email, plus mentioned the Gospel for today's Mass also guides us in how to deal with and cope with our human irritants who seem persisting as "frenemies" for the remaining breaths of our lives.

"Watch yourself, lest the vice which separates you from your neighbor lies not in the neighbor but in yourself.  Be reconciled with your neighbor without delay, so that you do not lapse from the commandment of love.  Do not hold the commandment of love in contempt; through it you will become a child of God.  But if you transgress, you will become offspring of Gehenna....

"Has your neighbor been the occasion of some trial for you, and has your resentment led you to hatred?  Do not let yourself be overcome by this hatred, but conquer it with love.  You will succeed in this by sincerely praying to God for your neighbor and accepting their apology, or else by the conciliatory action of making an apology yourself, regarding yourself as responsible for the trial and patiently waiting until the cloud has passed....

"Do not lightly discard spiritual love, for there is no other road to salvation....  The rational person cannot nurse hatred against someone else and yet be at peace with God, the giver of the commandments.  "For,' he says, 'if you do not forgive someone their faults, neither will your heavenly Father forgive you your faults (cf. Mt 6:14-15).  If your neighbor does not wish to live peaceably with you, nevertheless guard yourself against hatred, praying for, and not abusing, that person sincerely...."

"Strive as hard as you can to love everyone.  If you cannot yet do this, at least do not hate anyone.  But even this is beyond your power unless you scorn worldly things....  The friends of Christ love all truly but are not themselves loved by all; the friends of the world neither love nor are loved by all.  The friends of Christ persevere in love to the end; the friends of the world only persevere until they fall out with each other over some worldly thing."

So we might point out that we have tried to be reconciled with the other, but the other does not want to be reconciled.  Or the other has not apologized for us to be able to accept their apology; the other does not consider themselves a cause of upset or ill-behavior or wrong-doing.  Perhaps we have tried to be conciliatory and patient, but nothing seems to ease the problem, the trial.  

Then it seems we must simply keep praying for the other and praying, also, that we hold fast to striving to love everyone, including and especially those who remain steadfast in their behaviors or their disagreeability.  We must accept that not all will love us, but we may love all.  And we must steadfastly persevere in love of the other no matter what.

The spiritual friend emailed back, appreciating what St. Maximus added in guidance to Jesus' teaching to love our enemies in addition to loving our friends.  A quote she used to repeat to herself had come to mind which is helpful, also.  I think it comes from The Imitation of Christ by Thomas a Kempis.  "If you will be borne, bear with others."  

Loving all others, especially those who for whatever reasons, despite our efforts to reconcile, continue to be noxious, disagreeable, rude, or intrusive--along with sincerely praying for the person--are of primary importance; but bearing with others patiently and with loving tolerance will enhance and support our ability to love the other and pray for their well-being.  These efforts, also, will help us be mentally and emotionally released from being addled or upset by persons seemingly unwilling to move on with their own lives and release themselves, as well, from negative attachment to us.

When we are able to persevere in love, no matter what others choose to do or be, no matter if others do not respond with love, our souls will grow in Christ's love all the more. When we love those who are difficult to love or who do not love us or even like us, we will have taken steps with Christ along the path to increasing selflessness and spiritual maturity, and in Christ's perfect way of love.

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit: Physical Instability

Well, dear readers, I had previously mentioned pondering "stability" which is one of the Nine S' of the platform in my hermit Rule of Life.  My Rule of Life being the Gospel Rule--the Nine S' are ways in which I strive to incorporate the aspects with living out the Gospels.

Silence.  Solitude.  Slowness.  Suffering.  Selflessness. Simplicity.  Stability.  Stillness.  Serenity.

As soon as I focused thoughts on stability--what it is, the various facets both temporal and spiritual, physical, mental, emotional and of the soul--I found myself in a situation in which I had to do exactly as I'd not hoped to have to do.  I had to physically remove myself from my temporary living situation and travel to another location where I am currently staying in a guest room with ensuite bath in a large home of a family member and long-time friend.

This time here is temporary, as well, while my real estate agent and I keep in touch long distance--both sets of eyes on the real estate listings in the locale it seems best for me to purchase a hermitage (dwelling) and live for however long God wills.  

I always keep hoping for a place to remain, but then I consider St. Benedict who went out into the desert for solitude, and it was not long before many others followed him.  Then he was called upon by God to create a rule of life, and a religious order had its inception and roots developed, still growing after many centuries.  St. Benedict thus was called out of hermit mode of silence of solitude.  

It might be hard for us to accept that the hermits we may consider--or have our own perceptions thereof--must face the reality that many hermits have had to uproot and shift locations off and on for centuries.  Other hermits, perhaps most notably ones of yore or who became hermits while having been in a religious order, were more stabilized in location.  Still, when they aged, often enough they had to uproot and come back to the "mother house" or such, to be tended until they passed on.

Here, I've had a dream.  It is the first dream in seemingly months; and it is a dream that is helping me grasp and have faith and trust, that the uprooting from the other location that was temporary in itself, will all work out over time.  Sometimes when one must leave a place, there can be misunderstandings, or it can be that the one leaving knows it is time and for the best, yet not know for sure what is ahead or why it had to be that one must leave.

Not long after arriving in the current situation, I realized the good God has for me to do here.  My cousin is recovering from deep depression brought on by extreme fatigue as well as facing what can be difficult for anyone--shift in life from full-time work to retirement.  He is still exhausted but there is hope for recovery even if it might take a long time.  There are tasks here that he needs help accomplishing, so yesterday I was up on a steep embankment, aerating the soil with a pronged tool as he and I then mixed soil amendments to be worked as best possible, into the soil.

It was hard work for one who has not had manual labor to do for 3-4 months.  I so needed it!  Yes, am sore today, but there is yet more to be done once weather permits.  He got engaged in the efforts, and we have seen him smile more in three days than what was reportedly any time before since the exhaustion and depression up-ended his body and mind, and shocked his and his wife's lives.

I've become used to more or less living out of a small suitcase with supplies of all types in my truck.  I had intended to drop off some of the truck "stuff" at storage when I left where I'd been staying, but the storage facility did not open its gates until 6 a.m., and I was up and on the road before 5 a.m.  I had not slept the night before, as it was not easy for me to leave where I had been staying.  Lots of aspects about that which kept me awake, but I did need to leave, to give my hosts a break and have their household back more to usual.

Of course, I had no idea that I'd be of such usefulness here.  Even getting the cousin to ride in my truck as we went to a nearby Home Depot to load up on peat, steer manure, garden soil (which we don't need after all), and a special aerating/soil churning hand tool, was fun for him and yes, a victory to claim for the Lord!  I did not know the way to the store, and he verbalized the directions to me in detail.  I've been told he is conversing far more than previously.  Praise the Lord!  

Another person here for now--this Catholic hermit, a known cousin--who can talk and laugh, and listen, also allows his wife to tend to other matters.  We all three have become a team of sorts.  Yet also, I have most of the day during the weekdays, for silence and solitude, for prayer in quiet as well as when we are striving in some task they need help with--to pray in activity.

We are all in same age range and have suffered various trials in life.  Another cousin calls and texts from across the country, and she has had to go through severe medical trials in these later years.  It all helps the cousin here to be encouraged, to be reminded that we persevere, that we will keep going, and that there is progress and hope.  God provides!

I have no idea how long I will be here.  There is another town not too terribly far that I can drive and see some friends I've not seen in nearly three decades.  We never know how the Lord will use us or why, until we allow ourselves to do, sometimes, what we otherwise would think not at all the best to be doing.  It was an absolute miracle that I was able to drive as far as I did, praying all the way.

The prayers were driven by the situation I was in, by the unknowing of waiting in blind faith for the Lord to choose--and let me know, as well, His will--for the hermitage He wills for me.  Other aspects and distractions made the sensing and discerning increasingly confused.  However, it came time and perhaps past-time, for me to depart for a time of which I know not how long.

I tell you, I've never in my life been in such a space of temporal time period in which there was such unknowing!  Driving along roads in states I'd not driven in previously, I encountered snow and freezing rain; then came the dense fog as my small truck followed semi-trucks down lonely stretches of highway, from higher elevations into low lands.  We could not see more than 20 feet ahead, yet the experienced truckers led the way, and I followed in a type of faith that taught me much spiritually.

All in our daily lives teaches us; and when we place our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls into God's will, we can only go along in a type of blind faith, through fogs and dangerous conditions, through sun and vast spaces of wonderment and beauty, through darkness with bright lights, from rare headlights to thousands of lights whizzing on multiple lanes of frenetic, fast traffic-flow.  

By that point, I recognized all the more that my angel Beth, as well as my parents, my long-time friend's parents, and her husband--my cousin's parents--were all guiding and essentially driving my pick-up through the final phase of the journey and safely to this large home perched in hills above valleys wherein live masses of humanity, as far as eyes can see.

Stability?  Physical stability--I'd have to say not at all for this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit!  But interior stability--yes, it is settling down to that after some time of tumult in various aspects, within and without.  I'm reminded that much of tumult has to do with my sensing and feeling and loving so deeply.  Depth of feeling, sensing, and loving can stir that which perhaps needs to be stirred.  Then the slow simmering comes, and the peacefulness of inner and outer stability assures that all is well and all shall be well.  God has all in His providence and will!

God bless His Real Presence in us!  

Catholic Hermit on Effects of Death of Will

Today marks seven weeks since the death of this nothing consecrated Catholic hermit's will.  It is one of the many spiritual experiences that a soul never forgets.  

In recap, the death of our wills comes as a result of praying for such.  We may not even realize we are asking the Lord to take our wills and replace them with His will.  But we do so every time we pray the Lord's Prayer, or we ask Him to do His will in us, or we read His Living Word and consider that we'd like to follow Him, be in union with Him, be in Heaven with Him for all eternity.

In order for God's will to be done in us on earth as it is in Heaven, our will must die.  Yes, it must die just as Jesus explained the seed must fall to the ground, be crushed and die in order for new life to occur.  In order for us to have union with God, fully, all aspects of our free wills, of our everything, must be replaced by all that is God.

This is the summation of our divine desires, whether or not we consciously consider them, or pray for them now or in the past, or have known of such possibility and desire.  Judgment will bring the desire for Divine Union to the fore.  We will know and have opportunity to desire or not, union with God for eternity.

In our lives, then, the process of dying to our own wills can begin early on.  For most souls, it seems the process is gradual, nearly imperceptible other than those key moments and phases in which suffering brings lessons of death in ways that allow our wills to die to self in bits and pieces, and sometimes in larger chunks.

So it was that seven weeks ago, following three months of intense physical suffering as well as emotional deaths, this hermit's will died.

I did not realize that was what was occurring.  I chalked it off to severe and prolonged physical pain, or to a rough patch with family members and adaptation to loss therein.  Yet neither the physical pain (which has been my constant companion to varying intensities for nearly 32 years) nor the obviously God-willed job change and move of family were that unusual or different to cause such a death within--a death that has never been experienced to this degree.

When I realized that Wednesday morning after Easter that I no longer had the will to do, think--to be--anything and made not by my will a single phone call to someone I'd not spoken with in a couple of years and had not seen for 26 years, the effect was nil.  I then, not by my will but some force other, got off the mattress, walked outside, and started weeding--the first physical action possible as the bodily pain had been unusually severe.  As soon as I pulled a couple weeds, God spoke.

"Your will has died."

With that Word, insights tumbled into thoughts, and I recognized the weight of death lifting, the emptiness of nothingness being dispelled.  I was reminded of the physical death experience years ago in a hospital recovery room.  What did I think death would be?  It is so easy!  There is so much pain, and then no pain--just joy, laughter!  All emotions and thoughts, memory, understanding, intellect--all goes with us, leaving the heavy-laden, suffering body behind.

So it was with the death of my will.  What did I think it would be--as if fairy dust sprinkled on me some night, and I'd awaken in the morning without my will and God's Will instead?  I laughed with this thought; of course, the death of the will would be like the death of our bodies--more gradual usually, bit by bit dying, and also some time of intense suffering until death comes as a relief after we have reached a point in which we desire the relief of what had become seemingly endless agony.

Relief!  And over the past seven weeks since the death of my will, I have noticed the effects.  I guess I had not expected any effects since I've not had such a major death of will.  (My will had died in little bits, now and then, imperceptibly so other than a few bigger chunks lopped off from time to time.  And even now, I do not know for sure that all of my will has died; but I figure it to be thus.  The Lord did say, "Your will has died."  Unless He knew I could not handle if there was yet more will to die, I will take Him at His Word.)

The effects of death of the will, from what I know of personal experience, seem to thus far be a total change in how I react.  I no longer react the way I used to react--the way I reacted to persons, thoughts, words, situations all my life--up to the death of my will.  I was going to write of the effects with specific examples within the first week or so; but then I decided to wait longer.  What if this reflected a temporary effect?

I suppose it still could be, as seven weeks is not long--yet long enough for plenty of situations to occur of substantive crisis to test my reactions.  And in each incident, each situation, I simply do not react as I used to react.  There is not the stress nor strain, there is not the fear or tears, there is not the worry of unknowns.

A long-time friend emailed that it was probably just detachment.  No, it is different from detachment, for there is sense perception, emotion, thoughts, imagination, memory, understanding, and intellect.  None of these are dulled or nulled; yet they are different, they react differently.  It is not my will, that I can tell you.  My will is not like this will that reacts now with equanimity of spirit, with faith, with hope, with love, with freedom and truth.  This will reacts even with laughter--not warped or inappropriate laughter, but with laughter that is sensible, solid laughter mostly without sound emitted.

I suppose we might call it joy.

But it is not always "happy" joy.  The effect of death of my will is that of a serenity in all things.  I am reminded that "serenity" is the 9th "S" of the platform of my rule of life--the rule of life that is the perfect rule of life for all of us: The Gospel Rule.  (Earlier on in my hermit vocation I mistook the 9 S's as being the rule of my hermit life until the Holy Spirit showed me that the Gospel Rule is indeed the perfect rule, the only rule worthy of total adherence, and the 9 S', though, making up a means or platform by which to consider living the Gospel Rule of Life.)

So, the death of my will and it's being replaced by God's will has totally altered the way I react to anything from what would be serious upsets and misunderstandings to slipping and sliding on the pole barn roof yesterday--not once but twice, and a third time one foot sliding out from under causing a full front-to-back splits.  (Am on the mattress today, fairly banged up!)  Other examples of altered reaction--replaced reaction--include no concern at all with what could be dire financial news or the near-miss hospitalization form sepsis poisoning, or simply how the major, overwhelming work load in this hermitage used to affect me. 

 I can even try to consider relationships of the past--memories that used to bring tears and regrets.  The emotions and thoughts can still dip into the past, but there is nothing but serenity, equanimity of spirit, peace, lots of understanding.  God's will remains simply in the present moment yet with faith and hope and love for what is ahead...without going very far ahead.

The only time there has been weeping came in a phone call one morning when the physical pain was at high level; tears flow when the pain is at high tide.

Another effect of the death and replacement of my will with God's Will, has been the insights that have come increasingly ever since that Wednesday morning after Easter.  It seemed at first to be during times of manual labor when the mind would be "away" from the physical pain of body more easily.  Insights would come--thoughts of someone who I'd find out later had been thinking of me at the same time, those who I'd not had contact with for months or years.  Insights would come regarding some message or good to relate or offer someone, or also very much insights for my own good and spiritual growth.

Perhaps as a "type" of insight, bi-locating incidents began to occur with more frequency and ease, yet still totally unexpected, unasked for, and still nothing that I consider from my own old will that would be particularly necessary or desirable.  (I've had bi-location experiences off and on for decades, but only came to grasp what it was after I converted to Catholicism and became familiar with the term and of others describing or having their bi-location experiences described in books.)

But with God's will having replaced my will, the bi-locating--still unexpected when it does occur and typically at night when not needing to focus on not falling off a pole barn metal roof!--is productive, purposeful, and simple.  It would not matter, even, to mention this aspect other than to note the effect from the death of my will and God's replacing it with His will.  (And I will write a bit more on this subject in a later post, as it might be of usefulness to some, as these things are not necessarily unique to just a few but are potential goods for others, to accomplish works of the Spirit, God-willed, of course.)

And yet another effect of the death of my will has been that it is increasingly obvious that my intellect is still very much in me, in rather primary position to the now-His-will in my soul.  And my intellect continues to get in the way, at times, of His will. (Here, again, in the night when my intellect is more at rest, His will can utilize my soul to be taken in Spirit on assignments to help others, according to His will.)

My intellect, thus, impedes His will in some instances, or does not "read" situations accurately for my intellect--my ideas, thoughts, mind--can confuse His insights with my ideas, and my ideas as being His insights.  So I have started to pray earnestly and with great faith that God take my intellect, have it die, and replace it with His Mind, His Thoughts only, His Ideas, His Insights.  All God's--that is what the intellect can be--and eventually must be if Divine Union is ever to occur.

Purgatory is part of that process, but why not avail ourselves of it yet in this life?  Since the death of my will, I now am aware of how cumbersome are my thoughts and ideas, is my own intellect, how impatient and also mistaken can be my thoughts.  Increasingly I am learning to discern and differentiate what are His Insights and what are my ideas and thoughts.  That is a start, at least.

I do trial and error sometimes.  For example, if I get an idea of something that comes to mind, and it might be for someone other, I will go ahead and share the idea.  It can come down to subtle discernment and paying attention to little mental nudges.  One morning my quite elderly aunt came to mind.  The thought was to call her.  Then popped in the thought of some Manuka honey that someone other had emailed me about a few days earlier.  Now, why did that unusual type of honey come to mind upon the heels of the nudge to call my aunt?  Was it that the Manuka honey might help her digestive ailments and overall energy, as she has been ailing for awhile now?

I called the aunt and in conversation mentioned I would like to send her a small jar of this special honey made by bees in New Zealand.  While on the phone, I looked on my laptop and read off to her the benefits that are found in test studies.  Among other good effects, it helps digestive tract balance and over all energy, plus helps build immunity to bacteria and viruses.  She was interested in trying the honey and will report back if it helps her or not.  Now, I did not mention that I am testing out for myself if this is an insight from God's Mind through His will in me, or if it was some thought from my own intellect.  Before long, there may be an answer for both of us.

Another insight came while weeding, and it seemed profoundly an insight, for the message was strong and powerful in ways good for the soul.  It had to do with a cousin and her mother.  I did not want to share the insight right away mainly because my own intellect knew that my cousin might not like hearing the insight. Yet the insight stayed with me in my mind.  I since know this to be an insight from God's Mind as it did stay with me, and eventually my cousin called to chat.

So I told her of the insight, and she seemed to listen that day, although there was some rebuttal.  Yet it did seem to hit home.  And, this effect was as similar insights from God have had in the past:  I felt totally freed once I told her the insight, the message.  But the next day the cousin called back.  She was at that point rejecting the insight.  So I wondered again, with my own intellect, if this was an insight from God's Mind or just some idea that I had in my intellect, my mind?

But no, it came again that this was an insight from God's Mind.  I was quickly able to benefit by it myself, for the good of my own soul with great effect.

I do plan to also write about the particular insight the Lord's Mind gave, that so cooperated with His will that is in me, on a future blog post.  But for this post, I wanted to re-summarize the actual event of the death of the will and then also give the three or so effects thus far, that the death of the will has caused in my reactions and daily life.  And also how the death of the will then leads to the desire and need for our intellects to die and be replaced with God's Intellect, with His Mind, His Insights, etc.

I also desire to share an incident in which I had what I thought to be an insight from God regarding a friend and her husband, particularly for the husband who has been suffering for a long time with serious health issues, and his spirit lately has wavered and weakened into despair.  This incident for a future post demonstrates how sharing with them the death of the will affected his life with an effect that occurred shortly after he asked the Lord a key question about his will.

More later, dear readers.  This body-bruised old hermit is going to rise and try to dress, and do some little manual labor task around the hermitage.  Praise God in all things.  Praising God is of God's will, with all praise redounding to His glory, in His Trinity.

[Yes, it was easy to praise God when the feet were able to stop the body slide two feet from the edge of the pole barn roof.  Praise God that my "habit" worn yesterday (work jeans--the habit is what one wears in the Order of the Present Moment) have paint all down one side as a reminder of the slip-n-slide on wet paint, up on the roof!  And this old world wasn't even getting me down....  I was going to post Carole King's hit record, "Up on the Roof," but the lyrics really did not seem too easily woven into the theme.]

God bless His Real Presence in us!  His Will in me!  His Mind increasingly in me!  And I pray this for all of us to have HIs Will, His Mind, His All in us in all real ways.  Remain in His Love!  Love one another as His Real Presence loves us!