Yesterday, despite much exterior painting, interior tasks, and a worn out body, the weeds had gotten out of control in the yard and gardens. They were at a point of being so vast, that using weed killer was the viable solution.
With each weed sprayed, and thousands of them all about, they became this nothing Catholic hermit's sins as well as the sins of the world. With each one, the prayer was that they would be killed and erased down through their very roots. It will take time for the weed poison to do its work on them. And, some may need another dose.
Called a store that has lots of employees who are rather professionals in their areas, and talked with the man in the garden area. He explained the type of winterizer fertilizer and weed control to use. He pointed out that putting it on the areas right now is good, but that people do not realize that this is a longer term process, and in January or February, another spread of winterizer weed and feed is necessary, and then to keep at it in spring and summer with more coverings. Over time, the weeds will be brought under control, but that it is not a situation in which one can take a break and assume they are eradicated.
So it is with sin. What the man said about weeds and lawn care makes so much sense in regard to our sins and the spiritual life. We cannot let up on sin control and eradication. And we have to be willing to use strong efforts even if not seeming to be popular (such as using strong products) to others. There will always be those who suggest we are being too hard on ourselves in wanting to get rid of our sins or in praying and doing penance for the sins of the world, of our fellow man, of which we are all a part in the community of Christians as well as the community of being human beings.
We are each and all created by God, and we live all over this earth which He created first, before us. We are in this life together for reasons God knows and ordains, and our sins drag us all down. Our consistently dealing with our sins and removing them, right down to their roots, helps improve the quality of humanity and thus of our own souls and the souls of many others.
Yesterday, after making another act of the will to return to yet more focused horarium with more prayer and spiritual reading, including time spent in His Living Word more than the daily Mass readings, the laptop overheated and jammed again. Spiritual combat practice! Patient perseverance while waiting on hold with the loudest and most unpleasant music blaring into the phone, and then the call was dropped with one service rep just at a point of setting up a drop-off appointment. So had to make yet another call and be put on hold, and endure the horrible noise. But, today there will be a long and costly drive to civilization in order to give the repair folks a third try at this laptop situation. Am so thankful that this time have it under an extended warranty plan.
There is some reason for these glitches, always. His Real Presence is giving opportunities to not become frustrated and irked, to modulate the voice yet to also be firm, and to meet yet more employees and other customers even if briefly. There must be a recognition of these people and prayers offered for each while driving and passing or being passed, and while entering the busy mall and encountering hundreds of souls.
Work efforts are postponed yet again, although if the Lord allows safe travels, there will be more weed-sin killing to be done upon return. Also, the Lord is providing yet another trip so as to purchase the necessary weed and feed product to begin the process of keeping the weed sins out for the long haul. At least, we try, don't we? There will always be sin, but God gives us wills to conquer them.
There has been daily, increasing peace and relief in grasping this eremitic vocation and how it is that His Real Presence desires it for this particular hermit. A friend called last evening. She had been praying from afar as to the parish situations and the confusions and upsets and doubts that had built over time, with not understanding what and why of matters.
It was good to hear her voice, and she said she'd been praying and considering it, too. She said the more she prayed and thought, the more she realized that historically, hermits were not in parishes; and if they were, they were unknown and came and went without notice. She had never considered it before, but it all made sense to her.
There is a tremendous load off in regard to what has amounted to self-imposed angst in pushing on doors that were not intended to open. We laughed at how hard this hermit had tried to be involved in what was not meant by God in this particular vocation. That other hermits live otherwise, is as God deems for them. This woman has known and witnessed enough over the years, of this hermit's trials, that it was clear the path was being made known in a very positive and holy way.
It just took this hermit's acceptance of what otherwise seemed surely not right given the human understanding and view. But once this hermit let go of clutching at what it thought or seemed to be best or proper or correct avenue, and started to consider the vast number of hermits in the Church over the centuries, and the actual reality of their daily lives, peace came as on, as is written, "the wings of a dove."
Praise be to God the Father, and the Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit, the Comforter!
God bless His Real Presence in us. Let us love one another, Little Children, for Love is of God!