Catholic Hermit: Back in the Saddle

Well, perhaps with an adapted saddle, I am back in the saddle, settled and set for the ride on the narrow path, wherever the Lord leads.

Met with the confessor this morning.  He is impressive; much can be accomplished with this priest in 12 minutes or less.  He's focused, speaks quickly, thoughts direct and effective.  Confession plus guidance and thoughts on hermit vocation, a fitting penance of praying for a week for my eremitic vocation, as there have been distractions as well as major disruptions of past phase requiring hard-and-stripped-down living conditions, and a major surgery with on-going pain to contend with.

But time to immerse all the more in the vocation, give full-rein to the Holy Spirit.  In other words, for me to give myself fully, not with the various distractions.  Now immerse with the focus of which I have desired and known the Lord has given me the mind, heart, capability, as well as discipline...but I have wafted in some ways.

The confessor, a priest in mid-late 50's. and I must admit the most adept and gifted parish priest I've encountered (my late spiritual da was long-past a parish priest when the Holy Spirit brought us together), said do not let some lady in [another state] distract with claims of this or that, or trying to disparage me or my writing; he said that is all rubbish.  He also stated how other hermits of the past were persecuted, and there was no such thing as the 1983 CL603 even in the near-horizon then.

The confessor gave an example of a hermit in the 1800's who was persecuted out of his country--was Italian, he thought but not sure, had recently read an article with this incident mentioned.  He ended up living in a cave in another country, where today people go on pilgrimages to his cave hermitage which has become a shrine.  

The priest pointed out that the hermit was not approved by any bishop or, for that matter, priest or anyone at all but the Lord Himself.  He was as all the hermits of all history--privately professed, traditional, living in hiddenness and the solitude of silence.  He was evidently or mostly unknown in life in his location (relocated in the other country), but was yet to become a gift and inspiration to many after his death.

The confessor added that his advice is that canon laws in a hermit vocation would tend to restrict more than enable the freedom that is to be the Holy Spirit's in guiding a hermit; he said canon law tends to shackle.  Also, other aspects such as pride can arise, or in becoming publicly known, would interfere; there would be more distractions than less, as well.  I pointed out that part of my reasoning was that the Lord had indicated to me that it was not what He willed for me, and showed me in visions and locutions.  I also realized that the CL603 path is not proven or tried over years and centuries as is the privately professed path that has always been the way of the hermits.  

He was in full agreement.  In fact, he had brought up these facts, to which I added my thoughts on it from my lived experience as well as how the Lord twice stepped in, preferring the traditional hermit path. That is settled!  And of course, the traditional, privately professed hermits are as authentic, credible, consecrated in the life of the Church, as are the recent CL 603 diocese hermits. Who knows what future centuries will conclude--if the CL603 publicly professed hermit designation with its added supervisory task of bishops remains as a desirable path for hermits.  Only God knows.

I was given the name and phone number of a priest who had come to his mind a couple weeks ago, as a potential spiritual director my confessor thinks would be good for me.  I called and left a message.  This priest is also a hermit; not a diocese hermit, just a traditional, hidden from the eyes of men in the silence of solitude hermit.  He lives elsewhere, more in a remote area; with my spine situation, I must live with convenience to medical and sustenance supplies.

I had no idea nor did my confessor, if this hermit priest would be willing to or interested in being an occasional mentor/guide to someone.  I called, left a brief message, asked if he would let me know either way.  So I've received a call back, and happens that this hermit priest is staying quite close as is going to himself be having some surgery in a couple weeks (something that is fixable, healable, thanks be to God).  He set up a time for us to meet.  He said we will see what the Holy Spirit desires, of this encounter, and for anything further.

In the meantime, as I'd mentioned to the confessor as example of my wafting about, that I'd even taken steps to get a dog--but the Lord put the kabosh on two such attempts.  It is also true that the Holy Spirit, since yesterday, and my passing through what I needed to grasp of why the notion of a pet and of why to let go of that, of course, for good--has brought back my mind, heart, and soul to settling in; they have not for awhile.  

I'm back with the Liturgy of the Hours.  I'm back with more focused prayer.  Although I cannot be on a strict horarium (hourly schedule of the day, of the hours) due to my pain situation and such as confession this morning at a time one would be praying the Morning Office, I can yet pray the Offices in whatever "hour" it happens to be.  For example, lately I've not been able to sleep until after midnight; the point is, the Lord provides me time that varies, and thus my horarium is flexible but yet much of the spiritual life and my vocational foci, have "time" given by God to be filled with holy use.

Amazing, but in the mailbox upon my return to Solus Deus Hermitage, was a package from the professor who contacted out of the "blue" last summer, few days prior to the spine surgery.  She has sent a volume of the symbolism and ideals involved in St. John of the Cross' writing and thought.  Yes, the Lord has me back in the saddle, and if I know what's good for me, in the saddle I will remain.  Sure beats being dragged along by the reins or my foot only caught in a stirrup, or tossed off and the steed running off into the distance without me!

All is well and all shall be well.  I trust the wisdom and judgment of this confessor.  He is known far and wide as a holy and outstanding priest, experienced, and gifted in leadership and spiritual life.  In fact, I need to research a scripture he mentioned--content, not the book, chapter, verse.  He's a priest plugged into the socket with all prongs....  In tune with His Real Presence:  Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Praising God, here.  But will try to get up and put away a few more books and read/pray Morning Office.  It's early morning somewhere in the world....  Pain is way up in my body--driving to parish, then to pharmacy for meds that are helping the pain of abdomen (even if intestines remain not working), then sat to pray the Office of Reading, then resting in bed writing this and taking phone call from priest, a hermit, who might be my next spiritual director.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another, for God Is Love!

Catholic Hermits and Sunday Obligation: Excellent Blogpost

Just came across for second time, a blog on Unam Sanctam Catholicam, Sunday, November 12, 2012.  How did hermits meet the Sunday obligation?

It is well-documented plus reasonably thought and presented.  This blog is not written by hermit, but the blogger has certainly broached a topic that has been a conundrum and weight on this Catholic hermit's mind, heart and soul for awhile.  In the past three weeks, the answer has been given and validated repeatedly by God through various others.  And, deep peace has settled within.

Now, am offering more to His Real Presence, in whatever ways He wills, as to any aspect of the eremitic vocation, lived out by this "nothing" but very Catholic, avowed and professed, hermit of nearly 14 years.

The past two days, The Lord has allowed the most severest of spinal headaches in recent or distant recall.  Last night, thought perhaps had an artery or vein leak...some aneurism.  Was content and in peace, and the thought of quietly passing all the more seemed a grace.  Yes, the hermit vocation has now become just that accepted and beautiful since the conflict that this hermit had allowed to brew within.  How many ways did The Lord need to tell, to show, to affirm that His ways are not our ways and not even the notions of the very learned priests of His days on earth or of ours?

Considering the history of hermits in the past 2000 years (including John the Baptist and various hermit prophets) and prior, of Old Testament hermits even if not termed thus, it all makes sense now--the judging by others and even by self, and the concerns of this or that way and posture and fitting in or not...not being as others or even as this hermit thought ought be.

Had already come to the understanding that this particular "nothing's" Catholic hermit vocation was following more along the lines of those who were in remote areas, suffered much, and remained quite physically hidden and far from parishes and Mass attendance.

The reality of His Real Presence in Scriptures, as the Sacrament available and accessible day and night to hermits, settled in the other morning.

God provides!

Another devout Catholic friend, across many hundreds of earthly miles, called yesterday.  It all made sense to yet another.  And the less frequency of human contacts via phone is another indication of how God may and can inform our daily living out of the eremitic life.  It all depends upon what He chooses and wills, hermit by hermit.

Odd as it seems, the friend laughed and agreed that it is as if this "nothing" who kept insisting on trying to fulfill what it thought the proper and necessary Catholic obligations, was instead causing Divine intervention in more and more ways to block the doors being pushed.  As a result, the more and increasingly bizarre the events utilized to try to get through to this hermit:  Not what God wants and wills, at least not at this time.

How patient and merciful is His Real Presence with us in our various and individual vocations!  It has been a strange and bumpy road these fourteen years as a Catholic hermit.  May this hermit be far more resilient to future vocational wishes He desires!

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one a other as He has loved us!

Killing Sins, Handling Trials, Eremitic Vocational Peace

Yesterday, despite much exterior painting, interior tasks, and a worn out body, the weeds had gotten out of control in the yard and gardens.  They were at a point of being so vast, that using weed killer was the viable solution.

With each weed sprayed, and thousands of them all about, they became this nothing Catholic hermit's sins as well as the sins of the world.  With each one, the prayer was that they would be killed and erased down through their very roots.  It will take time for the weed poison to do its work on them.  And, some may need another dose.

Called a store that has lots of employees who are rather professionals in their areas, and talked with the man in the garden area.  He explained the type of winterizer fertilizer and weed control to use.  He pointed out that putting it on the areas right now is good, but that people do not realize that this is a longer term process, and in January or February, another spread of winterizer weed and feed is necessary, and then to keep at it in spring and summer with more coverings.  Over time, the weeds will be brought under control, but that it is not a situation in which one can take a break and assume they are eradicated.

So it is with sin.  What the man said about weeds and lawn care makes so much sense in regard to our sins and the spiritual life.  We cannot let up on sin control and eradication.  And we have to be willing to use strong efforts even if not seeming to be popular (such as using strong products) to others.  There will always be those who suggest we are being too hard on ourselves in wanting to get rid of our sins or in praying and doing penance for the sins of the world, of our fellow man, of which we are all a part in the community of Christians as well as the community of being human beings.

We are each and all created by God, and we live all over this earth which He created first, before us.  We are in this life together for reasons God knows and ordains, and our sins drag us all down.  Our consistently dealing with our sins and removing them, right down to their roots, helps improve the quality of humanity and thus of our own souls and the souls of many others.

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Yesterday, after making another act of the will to return to yet more focused horarium with more prayer and spiritual reading, including time spent in His Living Word more than the daily Mass readings, the laptop overheated and jammed again.  Spiritual combat practice!  Patient perseverance while waiting on hold with the loudest and most unpleasant music blaring into the phone, and then the call was dropped with one service rep just at a point of setting up a drop-off appointment.  So had to make yet another call and be put on hold, and endure the horrible noise.  But, today there will be a long and costly drive to civilization in order to give the repair folks a third try at this laptop situation.  Am so thankful that this time have it under an extended warranty plan.

There is some reason for these glitches, always.  His Real Presence is giving opportunities to not become frustrated and irked, to modulate the voice yet to also be firm, and to meet yet more employees and other customers even if briefly.  There must be a recognition of these people and prayers offered for each while driving and passing or being passed, and while entering the busy mall and encountering hundreds of souls.

Work efforts are postponed yet again, although if the Lord allows safe travels, there will be more weed-sin killing to be done upon return.  Also, the Lord is providing yet another trip so as to purchase the necessary weed and feed product to begin the process of keeping the weed sins out for the long haul.  At least, we try, don't we?  There will always be sin, but God gives us wills to conquer them.

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There has been daily, increasing peace and relief in grasping this eremitic vocation and how it is that His Real Presence desires it for this particular hermit.  A friend called last evening.  She had been praying from afar as to the parish situations and the confusions and upsets and doubts that had built over time, with not understanding what and why of matters. 

It was good to hear her voice, and she said she'd been praying and considering it, too.  She said the more she prayed and thought, the more she realized that historically, hermits were not in parishes; and if they were, they were unknown and came and went without notice.  She had never considered it before, but it all made sense to her.

There is a tremendous load off in regard to what has amounted to self-imposed angst in pushing on doors that were not intended to open.  We laughed at how hard this hermit had tried to be involved in what was not meant by God in this particular vocation.  That other hermits live otherwise, is as God deems for them.  This woman has known and witnessed enough over the years, of this hermit's trials, that it was clear the path was being made known in a very positive and holy way.

It just took this hermit's acceptance of what otherwise seemed surely not right given the human understanding and view.  But once this hermit let go of clutching at what it thought or seemed to be best or proper or correct avenue, and started to consider the vast number of hermits in the Church over the centuries, and the actual reality of their daily lives, peace came as on, as is written, "the wings of a dove."

Praise be to God the Father, and the Son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit, the Comforter!

God bless His Real Presence in us.  Let us love one another, Little Children, for Love is of God!