Well, perhaps with an adapted saddle, I am back in the saddle, settled and set for the ride on the narrow path, wherever the Lord leads.
Met with the confessor this morning. He is impressive; much can be accomplished with this priest in 12 minutes or less. He's focused, speaks quickly, thoughts direct and effective. Confession plus guidance and thoughts on hermit vocation, a fitting penance of praying for a week for my eremitic vocation, as there have been distractions as well as major disruptions of past phase requiring hard-and-stripped-down living conditions, and a major surgery with on-going pain to contend with.
But time to immerse all the more in the vocation, give full-rein to the Holy Spirit. In other words, for me to give myself fully, not with the various distractions. Now immerse with the focus of which I have desired and known the Lord has given me the mind, heart, capability, as well as discipline...but I have wafted in some ways.
The confessor, a priest in mid-late 50's. and I must admit the most adept and gifted parish priest I've encountered (my late spiritual da was long-past a parish priest when the Holy Spirit brought us together), said do not let some lady in [another state] distract with claims of this or that, or trying to disparage me or my writing; he said that is all rubbish. He also stated how other hermits of the past were persecuted, and there was no such thing as the 1983 CL603 even in the near-horizon then.
The confessor gave an example of a hermit in the 1800's who was persecuted out of his country--was Italian, he thought but not sure, had recently read an article with this incident mentioned. He ended up living in a cave in another country, where today people go on pilgrimages to his cave hermitage which has become a shrine.
The priest pointed out that the hermit was not approved by any bishop or, for that matter, priest or anyone at all but the Lord Himself. He was as all the hermits of all history--privately professed, traditional, living in hiddenness and the solitude of silence. He was evidently or mostly unknown in life in his location (relocated in the other country), but was yet to become a gift and inspiration to many after his death.
The confessor added that his advice is that canon laws in a hermit vocation would tend to restrict more than enable the freedom that is to be the Holy Spirit's in guiding a hermit; he said canon law tends to shackle. Also, other aspects such as pride can arise, or in becoming publicly known, would interfere; there would be more distractions than less, as well. I pointed out that part of my reasoning was that the Lord had indicated to me that it was not what He willed for me, and showed me in visions and locutions. I also realized that the CL603 path is not proven or tried over years and centuries as is the privately professed path that has always been the way of the hermits.
He was in full agreement. In fact, he had brought up these facts, to which I added my thoughts on it from my lived experience as well as how the Lord twice stepped in, preferring the traditional hermit path. That is settled! And of course, the traditional, privately professed hermits are as authentic, credible, consecrated in the life of the Church, as are the recent CL 603 diocese hermits. Who knows what future centuries will conclude--if the CL603 publicly professed hermit designation with its added supervisory task of bishops remains as a desirable path for hermits. Only God knows.
I was given the name and phone number of a priest who had come to his mind a couple weeks ago, as a potential spiritual director my confessor thinks would be good for me. I called and left a message. This priest is also a hermit; not a diocese hermit, just a traditional, hidden from the eyes of men in the silence of solitude hermit. He lives elsewhere, more in a remote area; with my spine situation, I must live with convenience to medical and sustenance supplies.
I had no idea nor did my confessor, if this hermit priest would be willing to or interested in being an occasional mentor/guide to someone. I called, left a brief message, asked if he would let me know either way. So I've received a call back, and happens that this hermit priest is staying quite close as is going to himself be having some surgery in a couple weeks (something that is fixable, healable, thanks be to God). He set up a time for us to meet. He said we will see what the Holy Spirit desires, of this encounter, and for anything further.
In the meantime, as I'd mentioned to the confessor as example of my wafting about, that I'd even taken steps to get a dog--but the Lord put the kabosh on two such attempts. It is also true that the Holy Spirit, since yesterday, and my passing through what I needed to grasp of why the notion of a pet and of why to let go of that, of course, for good--has brought back my mind, heart, and soul to settling in; they have not for awhile.
I'm back with the Liturgy of the Hours. I'm back with more focused prayer. Although I cannot be on a strict horarium (hourly schedule of the day, of the hours) due to my pain situation and such as confession this morning at a time one would be praying the Morning Office, I can yet pray the Offices in whatever "hour" it happens to be. For example, lately I've not been able to sleep until after midnight; the point is, the Lord provides me time that varies, and thus my horarium is flexible but yet much of the spiritual life and my vocational foci, have "time" given by God to be filled with holy use.
Amazing, but in the mailbox upon my return to Solus Deus Hermitage, was a package from the professor who contacted out of the "blue" last summer, few days prior to the spine surgery. She has sent a volume of the symbolism and ideals involved in St. John of the Cross' writing and thought. Yes, the Lord has me back in the saddle, and if I know what's good for me, in the saddle I will remain. Sure beats being dragged along by the reins or my foot only caught in a stirrup, or tossed off and the steed running off into the distance without me!
All is well and all shall be well. I trust the wisdom and judgment of this confessor. He is known far and wide as a holy and outstanding priest, experienced, and gifted in leadership and spiritual life. In fact, I need to research a scripture he mentioned--content, not the book, chapter, verse. He's a priest plugged into the socket with all prongs.... In tune with His Real Presence: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
Praising God, here. But will try to get up and put away a few more books and read/pray Morning Office. It's early morning somewhere in the world.... Pain is way up in my body--driving to parish, then to pharmacy for meds that are helping the pain of abdomen (even if intestines remain not working), then sat to pray the Office of Reading, then resting in bed writing this and taking phone call from priest, a hermit, who might be my next spiritual director.
God bless His Real Presence in us! Little children, let us love one another, for God Is Love!
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