Christian Catholic Mystic Hermit: Today's Psalm Ever Purposeful

 

I found the Psalm of today's liturgy to be quite meaningful, in vast and purposeful ways.

From Psalm 119 the following lines remind me that those with propensity to deceive themselves and thus attempt to deceive others, will eventually find their falsehoods gurgling to the surface. While truth always ends up being shown to such persons at final judgment, it behooves each of us to consider, absorb, and live the advice and wisdom of these lines from the following Psalm.

Though princes meet and talk against me,

Your servant mediates on your statutes.

Yes, Your decrees are my delight;

they are my counselors.

I declared my ways, and You answered me;

teach me Your statues.

Make me understand the way of Your precepts,

and I will meditate on your wondrous deeds.

Remove from me the way of falsehood,

and favor me with Your law.

The way of truth I have chosen;

I have set your ordinances before me.

--Psalm 119: 23-24, 26-27, 29-30

Years ago in my vocation as a consecrated Catholic hermit, I prayed about the rule of life that God desires of me.   I knew immediately when reading a biography of a hermit of the Middle Ages, a holy, blessed man named Richard, that what he had determined to be the "perfect rule of life" is indeed what the Holy Spirit was showing me to be the perfect rule of life for my own hermit life and my life as a Christian religious solitary:  The Gospel Rule.

All the more, the above Psalm inspires in me today and now tonight, again, the favor of His Law:  God's Law of Love.  I have chosen the way of truth, in that Jesus repeats and exhibits and instills in us to live in truth, beauty, and goodness.  I have prayed to learn the meditations of Jesus' Heart, and to make them the meditations of Christ within me.

I'm so ever grateful for His Real Presence always through, with, and in me, each step of the way of life in the Triune God:  Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  

Let us love God above all things, and let us love others as God loves.  God bless His Real Presence in us, and love in His Love.  Amen.

Psalms 119(118),23-24.26-27.29-30.

Psalms 119(118),23-24.26-27.29-30.

Though princes meet and talk against me,
your servant meditates on your statutes.
Yes, your decrees are my delight;
they are my counselors.

I declared my ways, and you answered me;
teach me your statutes.
Make me understand the way of your precepts,
and I will meditate on your wondrous deeds.

Remove from me the way of falsehood,
and favor me with your law.
The way of truth I have chosen;
I have set your ordinances before me.

Catholic Hermit: Meaningful and Helpful

"So let us 
confidently 
approach 
the throne of grace
to receive mercy 
and to find grace 
for timely help."
     
    

Today, this pained, consecrated, Catholic hermit needed to take the entire morning to get up from the bed on

the floor.  Being here in yet another part of the country is a good test, of sorts, to see how the physical pain is affected.  The pain doctor elsewhere did say it is shifts in barometric pressure that affect the pain; I'm learning that various locations have barometric pressure shifts--even ones that I thought might be better.

Yesterday, I was going to write about the selection from the Letter to the Hebrews 4:16 which includes the above statement.  The precursor to the above quote is this:  "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who has similarly been tested in every way, yet without sin." (Hebrews 4:15)

That high priest is Jesus Christ--who is able to sympathize with our weaknesses, who has been tested in every way, although who is without sin.  That is the difference:  we humans are with sin, Jesus is without sin.  All other aspects in our weaknesses and trials, being tested by pain of all types--Jesus is able to relate, to sympathize with us.

My current plight of being "homeless" continues on, with the added reminders each time "Redfin" (an online real estate site) sends to my phone an update of a new listing or of one that is now pending.  My estate agent in the state wherein I am assuming for now I am to have a hermitage and be, is also keeping a look-out, but he does have various clients.  I can more easily and readily see the notifications and know within a brief overview if the place is something to consider.  Thus far, not.  I text my agent asking about this or that property and area, and he advises.  Thus far, he also has said not as good as some areas that thus far have not had houses pop up on the market.

The distraction of keeping up with the real estate listings does not allow for full engagement in other activities, yet there is some engagement, of course.  Perhaps it is like the physical pain that is constant in my body--at times I can distract for some activities and engagement, but not full or total engagement.  A day like today, for example, has the pain in greater prominence; and I must struggle all the more to try to mask the effects of such pain since I am a guest.

And my hosts have quite serious difficulties themselves, with one recently diagnosed with severe exhaustion and major depressive disorder.  Thus, I pushed myself up around 11 a.m. after time on the floor in prayer, in Scripture reading, in dozing, and in mental self-pep-talk to get up and overcome the pain enough to be productive.  I got up on the steep slope of ground cover of which they need help revitalizing the plants, ready to weed, but discovered the automatic sprinklers had not been turned off after days of rain.  Too muddy to weed effectively; the mud caused the weeds' roots to break easily, plus my stepping or kneeling on the slope crushed the succulents.  

Took a walk up a steep hill and back down, asking the one host to show me the neighborhood which hopefully was very good for him, to converse and to guide while we both got some exercise.

Later came an electrical issue in their home--and I called my former electrician to get tips on how to solve it.  We tried all manner of easy fixes; tomorrow while the one host is away at his group sessions, when I can make sure the breaker will remain "off", I will remove the outlet covers and see if a wire has come lose.  Just two outlets are involved, and they share a wall.

Off and on I considered the short quote above--the Word of God--kept simple.  I need mercy.  I need to find grace for timely help.  We all do, actually.  Each of us in this lovely, large dwelling need mercy and to find grace for timely help.  We have been praying for healing for the one stricken recently in an ailment that is quite difficult to rout from the mind and emotions.  Medications can help to a certain degree, but there are other unknowns as to if something other is going on within the mind--some pathology that can afflict especially older persons.

As for my physical pain--yes, it is fatiguing and can be depressing especially when at higher levels.  And on a day like today, trying to keep physically active as possible seems best yet takes more impetus and fortitude than I can express adequately.  And why try to?

Just the turning all the more to Jesus, surely explains.

I brought in from my packed up truck, some camera equipment I purchased over six years ago when in a hermitage prior to the more recent one.  It was the hermitage with the glorious gardens (although I did transplant much of those gardens in the recent hermitage property).  My plan with the camera and various lenses, was to better photograph the gardens and design a book of meditations with the photos.  What to do with the camera and lenses, now?

Wait.  That seems the answer.  Wait to see what is next. In the meantime, I may as well read a bit about the use of the camera, learn how to install the lenses, how to take photos, how to download the photos onto computer.  And even before the practical aspects, pray and discern if my body, mind, emotions and spirit are resonating with the Holy Spirit--seek His will regarding that prospect of venturing into photography...or not.  

The temporal aspects of existence seem awkward with the spiritual of which my mind, heart, and soul longs.  How easily I turn to temporal distractions to ease that intense and even painful longing.  At times it seems as if I am going through the motions externally, to be of use and to blend into the needs and ways of my two hosts--just as I tried to when staying with the small family prior to this shift in location.  I go through the motions of doing the practical necessary for finding a hermitage house while waiting, sifting through real estate listings as they pop up on the internet real estate sites.

All the while, there is the beauty and power of Jesus the high priest who empathizes with all that I am encountering in the temporal as well as the deep longings of the spiritual.  Confidently approach the throne of grace.

I consider that confidence ought include thankfulness, thus the photo I took with my phone camera a year ago this past autumn, when I'd had generous donors all summer, concluding with contributions for a large crop of mini-pumpkins placed on the roadside table of the recent hermitage.  I decided to write the letters to the word thanks on the last remaining pumpkins so that passers-by would know my gratitude.

Within my mind and heart, today and hopefully always forevermore, I will consider thankfulness to Jesus as part of my confident approach to His throne of grace where I will receive mercy.  However desperate I may feel at any given present moment, I need grace--His grace--to find timely help--His help.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for being my high priest.  This is but a short time period, a phase, yet a profoundly foggy unknowing.  Help me to be of loving service yet also to sort through the temporal, and to learn the will of God in the taking up and the giving away of what implements needed or not, in whatever mission and purpose temporal remains to be accomplished in whatever time I have left in this life. 

Confident in gratitude, confident in thankfulness--I'm learning some of what is "grace."  There is grace in unknowing, grace in waiting, grace in being in what is not mine.  We possess nothing, really, that is ours other than Christ's possessing us in His love.  Timely help--aside from His love--seems relegated to the temporal needs that are in "time."  

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Who the Lord Approves: Reminder to Humility and Reverence

Sometimes His Living Word leaps into our minds and hearts.  This morning in the Divine Office, these words of Isaiah 66:2 penetrate as profound reminder of what His Real Presence desires of us, of whom and of what disposition He approves.

"This is the one whom I approve:
the lowly and afflicted man who trembles at My Word."

It boils down to being humble and reverent (fear, awe of the Lord, of His Word).

Today is my final few hours in civilization.  The body has reacted to weather and just the wear and tear of driving, feeling ill and achy and thus tired.  The mind and heart pray for a good attitude, a cheerful disposition, or at least one that is cooperative in His will and agreeable to returning to the most difficult living conditions ever in a life of over 63 years.

Circumstances can provide us with "lowly and afflicted," and for that we can praise God.  It is not that this hermit sought out the circumstances.  No, it had done the research, prayed, and hoped for a wise move and functional living situation.  It was not expecting to be duped, although prior to the final move, there was a sense of foreboding.

Lately, reading more of the saints and their writings, it makes marvelous sense that this hermit who so desires to have union with Christ, would at least mentally make a connection with the temporal poverty that was Jesus' while on this earth.

There has been progress!  When the rats found access spots to enter the hermitage recently, this hermit did not "freak out."  Yes, it was a bit disappointing after the efforts to secure the perimeter with bait stations; but after all, the weather is changing to chilly, and the desert is filled with critters the same as is civilization.  But in the desert the critters are all more eremitic in nature, truly!  In civilization the critters include an abundance of humanity!

Stability is one of this hermit's Nine S', and in silent stability, with serenity, it sought out any holes or openings that resulted when all the walls and ceilings were gutted.  Rats can enter through a small hole of 3/4" or less.  Amazing, intelligent creatures, they are!  Unfortunately, they do not hesitate to chew wire, wood, or even plastic pipes (if water flowing through them).  Just a little more effort such as sliding under the old porch, and this hermit will mix mortar and seal off a few more openings into the crawl space.  

Like sin, rats (and weeds) can be kept out of one's life and mind, and out of one's dwelling.  It just takes some effort, a persevering attitude, a bit of humility in realizing that, yes, we, too, must deal with that which many, particularly the poor and lowly ones of the world, have to deal with in far worse circumstances. We also can praise God that He has created us, also, as intelligent beings, and we can utilize this intelligence in figuring out ways to eliminate sins, rats and weeds...or whatever menaces even if the trespassers do not consider themselves menaces at all.

We can live in awe and reverence of how His Real Presence reaches into our bodies, minds, hearts and souls in every day events.  He teaches us if we consider the many lessons and the love with which He instructs...sometimes with a technique currently termed "tough love."

Now this nothing Catholic hermit must pray for courage to gather its few personal items and its Breviary (Divine Office), and head back to the desert and Te Deum House/Hermitage.  It will be quite dark upon arrival, and the flashlight is upstairs; but thankfully there is a light near the front door, and the headlights of the used truck can shine enough to find the door.  It will be very cold since the heat was turned off--just a wall heater, but it is better than the dire circumstances of last year's fall and winter.  

Somehow, praying (or reading prayerfully) the various Hours of the Divine Office, has replenished a rhythm of peace and perseverance within this soul.  It is good that the young Catholic family the hermit met early last summer (bought the old stove) is a contact.  The husband is a sheriff's deputy.  

This hermit noticed that someone had been getting into the cellar, using the outdoor water hose, and that a few other small items outside where they had not been.  The deputy checked the hermitage a couple times while this hermit has been in civilization and noticed a worker the hermit had hired the summer before last.  That worker had been arrested  but is out of jail, awaiting trial for some burglaries. He now admitted to stealing from this hermit.

Bless the thief's heart.  He no doubt was trying to find shelter and water while the hermit was upstairs (prior to the journey into civilization) in not much better circumstances, but at least this hermit has a bed.  However, the deputy needs a statement, as the thief will be better off in jail than prowling and stealing.  There is small comfort that the prowler will have three meals a day, a shower, a toilet, a roof overhead and heat!  

This hermit (and any of you dear readers, please!) must pray for him, as he falls under the category of lowly and afflicted (drug problems plague him).  May he learn to tremble not at the sheriff deputies and judge, but tremble in awe and reverence of the Word, of His Real Presence.  

Jesus lived without a place to rest his head, passed through grain fields hungry and plucked enough to eat, and took shelter and drink in places invited and some not on chill desert nights.  (Consider His nights in the mountains, praying.)

From Isaiah's two-line reminder as to what, of us, the Lord approves, we can consider and pray for ourselves as well as those around us.  Pray for graces of lowliness and trembling at His Living Word, of trembling in awe of His Real Presence!