From the Forty Texts on Watchfulness (nepsis) by St. Philotheos of Sinai, no. 39 and no. 40:
"39. An unexpected event or misfortune considerably disrupts the mind's attentiveness; and, by dislodging the intellect from its concentration on higher realities and from its noble state of virtue, it diverts it towards sinful quarrelsomeness and wrangling. The cause of this overthrow is assuredly our lack of attention to the enemy's attacks.
"40. None of the painful things that happen to us every day will injure or distress us once we perceive and continually mediate on their purpose. It is in account of this that St. Paul says: 'I take delight in weakness, insults, and hardships' (2 Cor 12:10); and: 'All who seek to live a holy life in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution' (2 Tim 3:12). To Him be glory through the ages. Amen."
My day today has been that of increased pain, but I am plowing through with having prayed and read more of Galatians and some commentaries and writings of saints and popes regarding the intent and meaning of what St. Paul exhorts and explains. Was up in the night with too much pain, and that remains the effects of this day, thus far. I still hope in God to be able to dress and do a little bit of manual labor.
The sunshine is glorious, and I'm ever grateful for all the good God brings: many blessings! My delight in Scripture is noted; as I was praying the Divine Office and reviewing Paul's Letter to the Galatians, I realized just how alive does God's Living Word become within, and how much Scriptures delight me. It is as God is explaining all, answering any and all of my wondering thoughts, and giving me great peace as well as courage. Joy and peace are two of several fruit of Scriptures--even if we see an aspect of which we desire to improve our minds, hearts, and souls--and also bodies, for the Lord cares about all aspects of our lives.
The devil did up-end me some upon waking, for I must have been dreaming of some aspect of past, of a most happy time in life when children quite young, and time with them treasured in my heart and memories. Such a blessing from God to have sent me back to rear my children and fulfill my mission (of which I continue to not know for certain, other than praying that somehow I am in some way fulfilling the mission He wills of me).
Loving Him, being close in Him, writing of Him and sharing with Him of my life and innermost thoughts through writing and more so of all the other intimacies between myself and God throughout the day--surely that is part of my mission in this life. My soul increasingly in love and focused on Christ Jesus, my Beloved Spouse, and of my loving God above all else and in Him, loving others as God loves us all: purpose and mission, could be!
As a convert to Catholicism years ago--after resisting for at least ten years prior to my Confirmation--I have always related extra-much with this Scripture selection from the Gospel of Matthew 15. In writing out this excerpt from St. John Chrysostom's homilies on these Scriptures, especially do I love the fact that the woman is not put off but persists in her selfless request, born of love of her daughter and faith in Jesus to help rid the demon from her child.
"When she came up to Jesus, The Canaanite woman just said these words: 'Have pity on me' (Mt 15:22) and her repeated cries drew a large crowd of people. It was a touching sight to see this woman crying out with such great feeling, a mother pleading on behalf of her daughter, a child who was so severely possessed.... She didn't say: 'Have pity on my daughter' but 'Have pity on me.' 'My daughter is not aware of her plight, but I, I experience sufferings in profusion; it makes me ill to see her in such a state; I am almost out of my mind at seeing her like this.'
"Jesus answered her: 'I was sent only to the lost sheep of the house of Israel (Mt 15:24). Now what did the Canaanite woman do when she heard these words? Did she lose heart? Not in the least! She urged him even more. This is not what we do when our prayers are not answered: we turn away in discouragement whereas we ought to be pleading even more insistently. Who, it is true, would not be discouraged by Jesus' response? his silence would have been enough to take away all hope.... This woman, however, does not lose heart; to the contrary, she comes nearer to him and bows to the ground saying: 'Lord, help me (v.25).... If I am a little dog in this house then I am no longer a foreigner. I well know that food is necessary for children..., but it cannot be forbidden to give away crumbs. They should not be refused me...because I am a little dog who cannot be pushed aside....'
"It was because he foresaw her answer that Christ delayed to grant her prayer.... His replies were not intended to cause this woman pain but to reveal this hidden treasure."
Absolutely love the elements of humility and of abject nothingness in these Scriptures. Jesus loves the lesser, the least of these: the anawim. I have been also reading St. Augustine's thoughts on Paul's Letter to the Galatians, as well as other saints and magisterium writers. The answer within begins to take shape and form; the pleasure of His Real Presence in each of our lives unfolds when we seek and being to find in the silence and stillness within. All is well and all shall be well; St. Julian of Norwich repeated this from the Holy Spirit. Yes, all shall be well!
Going to light a candle by Our Lady of Solitude/Suffering here in Solus Deus Hermitage bedroom where I will renew the Vow of Consecration of Suffering I offered, with my late Spiritual Da receiving and witnessing, 20 years ago today. The vows and offerings made from within our hearts and souls, and prompted in the mind by the Holy Spirit to formulate and then discern with spiritual father, do mean much to God and come from within our depths of intentions and love of Christ Jesus.
God bless His Real Presence in us!
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