Catholic Hermit: Spiritual Dates in Our Lives

One such uncanny date in my life continues to be The Queenship of Mary.  August 22 continues to be one of immense import to me, personally and spiritually.  This past Queenship of Mary marked 23 years since I was received into the Catholic Church after my years from birth to then as a practicing Protestant.  So it is, that August 22 is a powerful, spiritual date in my life.

Faith has always been deeply important to my soul, mind, heart, and temporal function.  I am ever grateful to my parents for instilling Christianity in me from my earliest moments and memories.

Even as a Protestant, August 22 has been pivotal in my life as a transitional day.  The life-altering car accident occurred at 11:22 p.m. on August 22, some 34 years ago.  That began my life of constant, physical suffering and heralded the decision of my earthly spouse to leave the marriage and our then three quite-young children.  The ripple effect occurred--loss of career due to disability after two major back surgeries with a death in recovery room and being sent back to rear my children and fulfill my mission.

But it also heralded a vast opening of my spirit to the Holy Spirit, more so than had been--and I was already rather in-tune with the numinous.  My Maker is my Spouse, and the espousal of my soul occurred along with various, numinous and temporal experiences of which I've mentioned some, but not to the depth or breadth of their occurrences and impact.  Too much to share, and intimate, at least for now.  And that has been the case for years.

My call to the Catholic Church was unmistakable and relentless until I acquiesced to the Lord's will.  That evening, the priest who gave me private instruction, chose.  He had no idea the import of the Queenship of Mary--or rather previously to me only known by being a date on a calendar:  August 22.  A miracle occurred during the private ceremony.  It was powerful and has served me well as the means to keep me steadfast in my Catholic faith despite more than plenty of persecutions and hardships along the way.

The Queenship of Mary happened to be the date that my youngest child went off to college.  That time period was a transition phase, as well, and my hermit life intensified following although I had been privately professed and vows received nearly two years prior to the "empty nest."

But most years, the Queenship of Mary is marked by a pain siege.  This year was no different.  However, this time period is very much one of being on the cusp of transition in my hermit life as other than a few tiny tasks and the delight in tending the gardens, the hermitage is complete--and lovelier than anyone, especially me, could have imagined.

My spiritual father three or four years ago said it was unnatural and abnormal, what I was able to accomplish and that angels were helping me, certainly.  I agreed and still agree!  My angel, Beth ("house" or "place of God" or "God is in this place", masculine Hebrew noun) has been astounding.  It was Beth who surely got me out to and up the road recently, not conscious, so that neighbors who happened to be outside (and they remarked it was amazing they happened to be outside that afternoon) found me and called the fire and rescue to get me to a trauma center for the head injury and brain bleeds.

I am blessed with having so much supernal assistance in what has been quite the "death therapy" in these past few years.  And death therapy is just what the Lord prescribed for me, as it has been the best phase to hunker me into my consecrated Catholic hermit life, possible--at least for me!  I so needed to die to self, die to the world, die to attachments!  May God be praised!

We will see what God has in Mind for the transition and next phase in my hermit life.  All of a sudden, I am able to shift gears to more meditative and contemplative prayer while gently gardening or also resting.  And a major aspect of my mission for the Church has occurred yet again, just a couple or so weeks ago, with yet another sex scandal being exposed, this time in the state of Pennsylvania.  I place my suffering, prayers, and various, natural penances that come my way, for the purgation of the priests, bishops, and cardinals who may need whatever the Lord can cleanse for Holy Mother Church.

On this Queenship of Mary, on my sleeping bag of suffering, I sensed Our Mother--weeping.

I am sure she is weeping for me, also--for my faults, my sins, my weaknesses, my human ills.

This morning when the parish couple brought His Real Presence, I was overjoyed despite the problems facing us as Catholics.  While some will need to run from the burning house--and we are not to judge others who need to do so--there are those of us who are called to run back in and help put out the fire.  

May the Lord use me as He wills.  I lived through the recent head injury--against the odds of no broken bones, no internal injuries, and even the shoulder is improving after horrific suffering with it.  May the Lord use me, yes, as He wills for whatever time and breath left, in whatever phase next, if any.  I pray to fulfill my vows--not only as a consecrated Catholic hermit but also as a victim soul of and for the Church.

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Warning and Blessing: Detraction

Detraction of others in any shape or form is a pernicious sin.  Like pine gum on the fingers, removing detraction from one's thoughts, words, and actions requires more than soap and water.

Detraction belittles, denigrates, lessens, smears, puts down, besmirches, diminishes, deprecates, depreciates, condemns, mocks, disparages, slanders, libels, and bullies others.  Most often, the poison of detraction trickles or erupts from anger, envy and malicious criticism.  Detraction serves to lower another's self-esteem and standing as a person among peers, as a child of God.

Wrongful judging occurs in detraction.  Rightful judging is that which derives from thoughtful observation, wise and holy discernment, by those whose position is to rightfully judge.  The intent of rightful judging is to discover truth and desire justice.  There are few occasions other than in the legal profession, in which we are likely to be called upon to rightfully judge.

Discernment is more a personal matter of which we are to make critical judgments regarding ourselves, our actions, our thoughts.  Discernment of self is necessary for spiritual growth; discernment of others is not so necessary.  If we honestly discern our own thoughts, words, and actions, we will have enough information to make changes in our lives. Self-discernment, thus, will replace the temptation to deceive ourselves that we are only "discerning" others, when in fact we slip into judging them.

For example, a young man came to do some plumbing when this hermit was yet ill.  He ruined some plumbing parts, made vital errors in placement of holes for pipes, and misspoke about code.  The hermit detracted the young man by discussing his wrong-doings with others, as well as slipped into anger over the wages paid and costs to replace parts and redo the project.

Holy discernment would have provided the hermit with all the truth it needed--without detraction of the plumber.  Had this hermit privately recognized the young man's errors, that would have been enough to know what actions to take in remedying the plumbing.  If the errors had amounted to great sums, there is legal recourse via the law of the land.  In this situation, prayer for the young man, privately letting him know he had erred, and giving him opportunity to make right his wrongs, is the correct course of action--not detraction.

A key element in rightful judging and wise discernment is factual truths and what we do with factual truths.  If the facts upon which we base our judging and discerning are not true but more our opinions, then we slip into wrongful judging and wrong discernment.  We next can slide on and into detraction if we think, write, or speak based upon our inaccurate facts or upon our opinions.

Jesus is clear on how to avoid the sin of detraction (which does include wrongful judging--and best to avoid judging unless by profession a judge in the land's justice system!).

"Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
Stop judging and you will not be judged.
Stop condemning and you will not be condemned.
Forgive and you will be forgiven.
Give and gifts will be given to you;
       a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and                overflowing, will be poured into your lap.
For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you"  (Luke 6:36-38).

[Yesterday while consolidating grains of rice from one container into another, the marvelous image of a good measure came clear.  While pouring the rice it seemed the canister could not possibly hold all the grains.  The nothing Catholic hermit tamped the rice, shook it down, and what seemed impossible for the canister to hold, poured in with space remaining!  How pictorially metaphoric, Jesus' words!]

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another!  Refrain from any temptation to detract others. Let our judging and discerning be of ourselves, for therein is the greatest opportunity for growth--and blessed gifts--of remaining in His Love!