Christian Catholic Hermit Mystic: On Love, Pray, and Forgive (and more!)

 

I haven't posted much on social media in awhile, other than responding with likes and hearts and hopefully encouraging comments to what others post, but I do want to share that I had a major turn around 12 days ago. The knee pain is so horrible and no one willing to do anything about it, and I was the only one researching and asking for this or that procedure which I've read will help even if temporarily, like injections that can soften the hard fibrotic growth that has covered me knee and hardened now, and injections also are known to reduce the pain.

That has been refused; the surgeon has a serious fear of infections. That is why I was not allowed to go to a Medicare-full-paid rehab facility after the knee replacement surgery. I had a PT the surgeon sent who did not recognize or claims he didn't know about arthrofibrosis post-op; the surgeon's PA did not recognize it, either. My pain doctor has tossed it back to the surgeon who he knows does not want to bother with it, but the pain doctor does not want to, either. (And he shouldn't have to, except that in past he has helped me when bad things have happened.).

The only thing the surgeon will do is send me for yet more PT, after the other PT's said nothing to be done; they showed me many stretches I'm to keep doing through out the day for however long my earthly bodily duration. I'm to go for deep tissue knee massage, said the surgeon to the pain doctor. The surgeon has not even seen nor touched my knee since June 20, the day of the knee replacement surgery. There is no way anyone can massage the hard stone that is my knee. I'll go, but the frustration level shot up, the anger and darkness and sadness and ugliness pervaded to a point that the Holy Spirit reached in those 12 days ago. He turned me around, placed me on a far better path.

In addition to Love and Pray (what I've been reminded to do in other situations ongoing that are unjust, persecutorial, sorrowful, and unkind), I was told to FORGIVE! Forgiveness is so crucial in addition to love and pray for others and for situations themselves--and I know this, and you all know this! But I didn't really, really know it, not know it deep down in the fullness of my soul as it needs to be known, felt, an enacted. The shift was within two or three minutes. I have the needed ingredients for traversing the rest of this life and into the next of which Love, Pray, and Forgive are learned if not already, or an automatic "breath and heartbeat" if not.

So I've been existing on Love, Pray, and Forgive ever since. Then, of course, there are the temporal whammies, just little things that present themselves like should I send a card or not, or when I've been told my social media comments aren't acceptable, don't have the proper "social media vibe" so I'm not to comment, not even short and positive ones because they are "different", there is that adaptation to letting go of social media, definitely not to leave comments for those who are bothered by mine. So more Love, Pray, and Forgive.

One must consider all in life--situations and persons--with the lens of pray, love, and forgive. But also, one must consider the temporal-spiritual aspects of "who". Who is it that God desires for us in this life? Who tolerates us, who accepts us as we are and for what we have to offer? This means, even if we are gimped and grumped with severe, non-stop pain, or we cannot be active, or we perceive in ways not seemingly the societal norm but yet accurate, can be thoughtful, insightful....

This means, who is it that God desires for us, who accepts or tolerates us--in a way that we don't have to cease to be or do who and what we are and how God created us, unless it is that which is best for us to cease being or doing. However, when another is bothered enough to make requests of negation or who view us negatively as odd or weird, or think we over think, or find this or that in us that needs to change (or says we are demonically oppressed)--are these persons enjoying us, comfortable with us, or do we frustrate them, cause them to fear we will embarrass them or to what their friends might think of us?

Are these persons like the apostle John, listening to us, standing at the foot of our crosses, or do they seem to wish and prefer we be made in their own image, or an image of what they deem acceptable or per society or social media's tolerated image of acceptability, of social and their view of "normality"?

This brings us to bridges, and burning or not burning them. I recall a vision dream years ago in which I was shown a burning. bridge, and I was told that some bridges are worth being burned. Burning a bridge sometimes is invaluable in that it keeps us from going back over when it is better we never go back again. But burning bridges also brings up the point of who burns the bridge? Is it one of the persons making conditions of relationship, criticizing the other, wishing without maybe consciously realizing that the other is frustrating to be around or know?

Or is the bridge burner the one who doesn't conform to the wishes or image the other wants in his or her relationships? And again, maybe some bridges are better off being burned regardless of who lights the match or who is the wood being lit?

We now come to sifting the ashes. What remains if we do not accept or cannot tolerate others for varying reasons? Does it matter? Persons come and go in relationships as well as in the temporal world; people die, one after another. On the other side, out of the ashes come souls who are shown truth, beauty, and goodness.

The showing then leads to learning. We learn we are to love, learn to prayer, learn we are forgiven; we learn how to love those who didn't fit into our scheme of social norms. we learn to pray to accept what it is we could not change; we learn that it does not matter that everyone perceives or is in our own likeness and image, or that they frustrated us because we could not control how they were. We learn be loved, and we learn to LOVE to learn to love, and then we love others with this love which when we love as God loves, we are loving with God's love.

We learn to forgive--forgive ourselves and to forgive these others because they couldn't make themselves be as we wanted them to be, in our image of normal or successful or calm or at peace or light-hearted or more serious, or whatever it is our image of normal and right they were not. We forgive them because we recognize how God forgives us--without conditions.

As for social media or temporal friendships, those will read or post what is wanted and which fits whatever image based upon the person who posts it. Those who don't like it because it is too long or too deep or does not fit the "social media vibe" can block the unacceptable-to-them poster's posts. Or, the poster can recognize and can share thoughts and insights on any number of other media options.

Or not. As for people as in acquaintances and friendships, there is always God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit as well as manifold holy personages existing on the other side with free-access to us any moment day or night. They exist as we ought--in the Order of the Present Moment. They love to help us find our way through this life and hopefully to exist here also as in eternity, if we are so inclined.

There is no one more perfect a friend than is Jesus, God, and the Holy Spirit. Just depends upon strength of faith as to the degree of reality these personages exists as a true friend in need and in deed. We do not have to be concerned, for example, about Jesus being bothered about our comments seemingly "different." His words and insights were deemed that, was called worse, called "crazy." Jesus therefore understands those of us who have been thus called. Jesus will never burn a bridge with us, and if we are finding in Jesus a true love, there is never a need, not even a temptation, to burn bridges with Him.

Bottom line, if someone finds himself a sign of consternation to others on earth, no worries--he or she will be welcomed by the souls on the other side who are always with us, eager for friendship and conversation, of sharing their insights and holy lives with us.

If the folks in this world are frustrated or find us unappealing, cannot tolerate or accept when there is no actual means to altar our minds, hearts, and souls or our temporal, bodily conditions, expand the bounds of relationships when in essence the the temporalites are burning bridges with us by their choosing, and pick up with those who already know how to pray, love, and forgive and are into building bonds with those who can perceive beyond what constrains others here and now.

This blog post (and blog in general) is a totally non-vibe, non-acceptable social media whatever. Guaranteed not many will read it due to length if not other criticisms. I'm not into burning any bridges, but I've learned to let the bridges out there bring those who are interested in such as me, to walk over on the various media modalities available.

And I lovingly welcome those who have a need or desire to burn bridges with me, to do so. This aspect is a newly arrived gift just this morning, from God to me. Those who find me not to their total liking need to be freed from frustrations and worries, exasperations and embarrassments they perceive and maybe rightly so, that such as myself can cause them in the wilds of the temporal world.

God is forming me; God is progressing me and perfecting me in His way and time, considering God recognizes and accepts my imperfections as He's developing me as He wills. He's doing that with anyone who wants and asks, even if they have as many flaws as myself.

Life becomes much easier, the path less ugly, dark, and fiery when we learn to love to love, pray, and forgive. (And there may be more key words added to this initial list, but these are basic and essentials. Plus, there is no time chart nor chains involved once one steps off the bridge, so to speak, so that others don't have a need to burn it out from under us or keep us from walking over to interact with them.

Christian Catholic Hermit Mystic: Mostly Spiritual, Not Temporal

I'm mostly spiritual, not temporal. I'm interested in the spiritual life, of the life of Christ, of the mystical elements of religion (a title of two volumes by a great writer, Baron Von Hugel), and of the spiritual and temporal application of Scripture in personal and societal daily life.  I enjoy sensing and pondering and writing of that which is above, of the Law of God--God's Law of Love--more than the laws created by humankind, especially that of canon (or church) laws.  

I grieve for Catholics who become ensnared in the entangling nets of the temporal.... their limbs thrashing about 'neath the surface of the waters of which years ago God showed me that I was desperately trying to untangle the nets to free the people--some whom I recognized from parishes including priests--who were caught in these nets.  Then God spoke to me.  He said, "They will be all right. I will help them. But you--you must swim on out into the deep! Go! Swim on to the other side!" 

So I stopped treading water by the immense nets that held all these people just below the surface of of the waters, and I turned outward and began to swim.  I looked to as far as my sight would allow, and I saw no end of the vast waters.  I swam on and on, and I am still swimming.

I am swimming, progressing onward into the deep, into the unknown of which God pointed and and directed those years ago.  I am swimming and progressing onward,despite my spine half fused and the next level up already deteriorating; and my neck has gone from being deemed "bad" to severe in less than a year between MRI's.  It is so severe that the neurosurgeon decided he did not want to operate unless it becomes life-threatening.  He had neurological testing performed, and although at times I wake up with my arms thumb through the hands, thus far feeling has returned in time.  

Recently, I have had another major surgery on my left knee; that, too, has been a failed surgery of 4-6% who have this occurrence of collagen cells reacting even during surgery to what is called oxidative stress.  This causes the cells to grow rapidly and thickly in a fibrous, impervious layer--mine two-inches thick covering over my artificial knee.  The pain is horrendous; my life style is forever altered between trying to do painful stretches throughout the day and using pain medications, and also trying to tend to the temporal responsibilities of the temporal aspect of my bodily existence here, now, on this temporal earth.

Yet my soul supersedes all else. I know this even if the temporal existence and those temporalites who exist around my temporal body, mostly unseen by me but here, there, ensnared and thrashing about in the immense nets beneath the surface of what is the temporal world and that of the deep and wide of eternity.  That is, of the world in which faith in God leads those of us who have all but the bodily left off from the temporal world and those thrashing about.  That is, of the temporalites who are ensnared in the temporal nets 'neath the surface of the waters; the focus and bulk of their accountability given over to the temporal world of temporal experiences and situations with other temporalites.  

The only way forward, out  of the entangling nets of the temporal, is to keep swimming, keep going, onward and forward, seeing not the other side.  Yet know that  freedom and blissful of touches of grace await us the more we broaden our sights, strengthen our strokes, not look back! Keep on! Keep on swimming out into the deep, onward with faith and hope, having let go of trying to free those who are not yet ready, those who do not grasp in reality there is something far more that awaits us the farther we reach with our hearts and minds and our very souls determined in faith that God is with us and also there for us, both, and, for all eternity.

But we must stay clear of the entangling nets, once we have been freed from the temporal reality that these nets ensnare us, keep us tied and entangled to a point of the blind thrashing about  becoming our norm within our existence in the temporal world and indeed, ensnared as well in the temporal tangibles and temporalizations of the temporal world of the temporal church. 

From the moment of realization of what is beyond us, what is unseen yet so very real, beyond us out into the depths and breadths of the spiritual life in His Real Presence, always and forever, we in trust simply and profoundly, in unknowingness of ontological beingness--we keep progress.

Onward and forward we progress into the very soul of God Almighty, Creator of Heaven and Earth. Yet God is the One, the All, to Whom we keep progressing despite the hindrances of our insufferable temporal bodies. For within these bodies, once we free ourselves in faith, hope, and love to give over to God the tending of those caught up into and of the entangling nets of the temporal realm of the world at large and the temporal world of church, and of all those choosing to remain stuck reman entangled in the temporal--we find that we are brought through and onward and forward, despite the ongoing effort of exchanging our own thrashing about with that of taking progressively forward strokes. 

We are bound and determined, no matter what, to keep going to whatever is there--to the heaven of God's Beingness and Energy, to that of God's pervasive and effervescent God's Allness.  God is there for us; God is with us along the endless breadth and depth of forward progression.  We know not but that God loves us and asks of us to keep on receiving His Love and learning His Love, to learn to love, to love God and others (and ourselves) as God loves.

This is the mostly spiritual  that at some point of which we do not know other than to know this point exists, in which we become deeply spiritual within the spiritual of God Himself. We become one with God's Beingness and Allness.  We become as if one with God's Supreme Soul. The as if becomes the truth, beauty, and goodness of not only spiritual union, but of mystical marriage with consummation.

This is what awaits us. This is why becoming aware of something more out there, beyond the entangling nets 'neath the surface of the waters. This is why we persevere in our seeking, no matter what befalls us or tries to interfere with the progression, we keep advancing by becoming mostly spiritual and less to least temporal.  We become unentangled from those temporalites who yet choose or acccept--either one--the temporal always mostly, and more than the the breadth and depth of the spiritual counterparts God desires for us, for our minds, hearts, and souls--if we simply keep going, once we are freed from the stuckness of the temporal nets.

Pray His Real Presence free everyone's mind, heart, and soul from the stuckness of entanglement in the ensnaring nets of whatever temporal.  Note the difference between being entangled by those temporal nets that represent the temporalization of the world at large and the world of church, as well as of the world of ourselves remaining entangled until by the grace of God, we are released through the teachings and life and sacrificial death of Christ Jesus, and ultimately by God's will we are freed from ourselves being entangled. Praise God with each inch of disentanglement, God's will and desire for us.

If I were an adept artist, I'd watercolor or pencil or ink sketch an image of this most powerful and real locution and vision.  I pray the description and word-metaphor of the entangling nets 'neath the doldrum-deceptive surface of the waters, assists the awakening from the living dead alive.  I pray that all temporalites realize the vast depths and breadths of the spiritual and masterful mystical realm of eternity that awaits us now, and has for every now of the present moment we've spent remaining piteously and desperately blind to our thrashing about stuckness in the temporal, of the entangling nets.

God bless His Real Presence is within us, the love of God, the love of God as others love, and to love ourselves as God loves, will always be ours to grasp and take with us onward and forward to reach that point of center, amidst the breadth and width of the Holiness of God's desire for us.

Swim on, swim on!  God will take care of all these others who are in His care, of whom God will free, will detangle these others who then must stay free and clear of the entangling nets. Rather, praise God for the faith, hope, and love of the reality of the blissful crossing that God has for us, onward and forward.  

The Stairway to Heaven is ours; we are by swimming onward and forward, not held back--we are led to the base.  The swimming onward and forward propels us, despite not knowing where nor able to see beyond ourselves. 

The Stairway to Heaven is given us, to provide for our onward and forward progression into, and then eternally remaining in the spiritual of our God-infused minds, hearts, and souls.  We advance all the while our insufferable attachments to our bodies and the temporalized aspects of the temporal world of varying types, fall far beyond us as well as the temporalites' plights.

God will take care of them, just as God is taking care of us.  It is never too late nor too early to learn to love, to love to learn to love God, to love others (and ourselves) as God loves!

 

Catholic Hermit: Dying to My Wants

The parish visitor, A., brought Eucharist around noon.  The nausea from last night and this morning has kept me down; I was at the point of emotions getting more hold than not.  I had inwardly told myself to not speak, as Angel has had a busy week and particularly busy day.  But emotions took over; pain and this nausea took over.

But I got a grip, yet again.  After consuming His Real Presence, the Holy Spirit prodded me to simply state that it is my own ego that brings this current distress, in that I cannot be or have or do what I want.

I wanted to at least get up and go for a walk, or try sweeping up some leaves into a standing-handled, larger binned, dust pan that arrived, thanks to Amazon and finances enough for the minor purchase, and above all other:  God's providence.

The best I've done is to get up and take bowl and coffee mug back to kitchen after Angel left, and return to bed to sip on more of the fresh ginger-tinctured hot water, and then try the strong ginger beer (a very strong type ginger ale).  After another hour, took pain med, and after yet another hour, I might try getting up again.

In the interim, A. had mentioned the plight of her beloved mother.  Too much to go into, but I later texted that sometimes people who are in abusive relationships come to accept and endure in them perhaps like kidnap victims or prisoners adapt to or develop an alliance to captor or captive situation in a type of imprisonment--a type of Stockholm Syndrome.

I considered this thought that came to me within, in the on-going conversations with God, pathetic as my side of conversation can be when struggling with my own flaws and consequences of sin and this intractable pain.  I considered yet again, this pain and the living death sentence of Adhesive Arachnoiditis increased symptoms, as a captor, with me as the prisoner.

I texted A. a bit more of how captives of any type of imprisonment, might only have a means of escape in acceptance or alliance of sorts, other than the ultimate freedom is if and when we turn to Christ and remain in His Love, as the only true means of escaping the temporal sufferings of whatever type or form our "temporal captors" take.

Only when we develop an alliance with His Real Presence (Father, the Son Jesus, Holy Spirit) can we endure and survive the temporal captors.  Our minds, hearts, and spirits can then be far from what imprisons when we abide in Christ.  Prayer, all the more.  Remaining chained yet at peace in hibernation.

What I wanted for today is not yet occurring as far as getting up and doing a few tasks that would be so temporally wonderful for my physical body, and also would feel selfishly and psychologically good in my wanting to push through this pain, to not have the added nausea.  As for a major cause of emotional sorrow, I realize my purpose should not be of even whatever I have possibly done in word or even in being a negative reminder to someone I love dearly who has not been responding no matter what attempt on my part.  

My purpose must be to pray for healing of whatever type needed in the person (and I'm realizing in all persons!--inner healing for whatever wounds are within, that I may have caused without any direct idea of what it might be this this time, or whatever other of wounds from the world, from whatever aspect of this and all persons' lives.

While one call or message from the person would lift the emotion of pain, my desire to hear from the person as a balm or as some sort of reassurance, is actually quite selfish.  My selfish wants have distracted me from the praying I should have, could have, been offering for the person's busy life, for healing of whatever wounds--as there are always wounds and potential for wounds in any given present moment, in any past interchange or communication, in any situation whether or not intentional or not.  I believe that intentional wounding of others or even of self, is as rare as Adhesive Arachnoiditis.  Not many truly intend to be a trigger point of woundings.

Dying to my own wants goes beyond setting little goals that are always a potential for disappointment in physically not feeling well enough to follow through.  Dying to my own wants has to do with all wants of self, of ego, of even what a surgeon says is best to try or do.  Dying to my own wants includes living for God's wants.  What does God want?  Live for what He wants of me!

God's wants of us, His will for us, is always reasonable and within the possible of what we can do.  He is not willing me to get up and go for a walk or to tidy up, or to do anything at all when the body is not able to do so when pain, or the captor "nausea" is beyond what the mind can escape.  But today I can read the Scriptures, and I can write on this blog and share what thoughts and little situations.  I can pray for the porn site belonging to some person in another country, who I now realize has hacked or somehow repeatedly logs on to my posts.  I doubt the person or group of people with the tell-tale domain name are reading a word--not that my sharing in writing is helpful to even the good-purposed readers.

Dying to what we want, though, and considering living for what God wants of us, might be helpful to those with "smut sites" online, as we can assume dying to self would help people with porn addictions or temptation to sexual sites.  Sex is not a sin; but various aspects involving sex can be.
Dying to what we want as opposed to living for what God wants is a valuable consideration for anyone, but especially meant for me today.

Living for what God wants and wills, helps my attitude and perspective to radically alter from a sorrow of heart for what all it is of me that is not what others have wanted or needed of me, and of which often enough, I'm not really clear about what that might be.  But God wants me to pray for others, and to pray for myself; He wants me to be forgiven, to ask for forgiveness of Him, and to also accept the times when we might not be forgiven by others, or at least not with the part of forgiveness that can forget.  

There are scars involved with wounds. Scars can be reminders of being captive, regardless of what type of captive, what type of imprisonment.  Scars themselves can cause us to be reminded of captivity, and thus in essence, keep us imprisoned.  Dying to our wants might well include keeping ourselves from looking at or reminding ourselves by the scars we bear.  Living for what God wants, dying to what we want, tends to keep our eyes off our scars--physical, emotional, mental, spiritual.

This line in Isaiah does not deny gloom and darkness, it does not discount our lowliness.  But it does point to the truth of a truth that we will always find joy in the Lord.  And joy in the Lord comes when we die to our own wants and live for God's wants.  He wants us to spiritually rise and leave our temporal captors and imprisonment; we can do this without moving a physical muscle.  He wants my love.  He wants our love.  He wants His love to become our love.  

"And out of gloom and darkness,
the eyes of the blind shall see.
The lowly will ever find joy in the LORD....
                                    
                                       ~ Isaiah 29:18-19a

God bless His Real Presence in us!

Catholic Hermit: Helpful, on Humility

I read this a few days ago and ever find helpful on humility.  Written by a monk and priest, Theognostios, and included, as from the Philokalia, may these word-thoughts uplift and restore us on this Thanksgiving Day (celebrated today in the USA).

"When you are completely detached from all earthly things and when, your conscience clear, you are at any moment ready in heart to leave this present life and to dwell with the Lord, then you may recognize that you have acquired true virtue.  If you want to be known to God, do all that you can to remain unknown to men....

"Consciously look on yourself as an ant or a worm, so that you can become a man formed by God.  If you fail to do the first, the second cannot happen.  The lower you descend, the higher you ascend; and when you begin to realize that you have nothing and know nothing, then you will become rich in the Lord through practice of the virtues and spiritual knowledge.

"Since salvation comes to you as a free gift, give thanks to God your savior.  If you wish to present Him with gifts, gratefully offer from your widowed soul two tiny coins, humility and love, and God will accept these in the treasury of His salvation more gladly than the host of virtues deposited there by others....

"For even if the treasure of those who are dispassionate consists of every virtue, the precious stone of humility is more valuable than them all; it brings about not only propitiation with the Creator, but also entry with the elect into the bridal chamber of His Kingdom."

The description of the soul as being widowed is apt.  In various ways, our souls are as such.  In my recent consideration of the hermit vocation as set forth in The Catechism's sections 920-921, I realize that God provided this vocation for me as a place of refuge, out of His foreknowing what would unfold in my life, from as early as 1984 and with more obvious vision and locution in early 1986.  The word "hermit" was not used then, but rather that I would "need to learn to hibernate like a bear, for protection from the world."

Of all my many faults and weaknesses,  I most react pathetically to rejection.  Rejection is my most challenging life aspect.  Being or feeling--either one--rejected can cast me down to the devil's doorway more than I think anything other of life's occurrences.  And it does not take much to experience rejection, to feel it, to recognize being rejected.

Often enough I'm sure some fault of mine, or even a sense of my not liking rejection, or the hurt reaction to rejection even if masked, all the more invites rejection to occur.  It is a quite easy way for those who dislike or feel burdened by another, to do or say even the smallest of actions or words or in fact, non-response, to create the rejection that will wound.

All the more, then, rejection of others, whether one's personhood or way of being could somehow justify the rejection in whatever form of many forms rejection takes, can cause us to turn all the more to God Who never rejects.  The turning away from those who knowingly or unwittingly reject, can then in some ways, seem as if the one rejected is rejecting by turning to God and away from others and the world.

Fascinating business, all this; and yet there is cause and effect in rejection.  We all have rejected others for one reason or another.  Either we cannot handle or cope with some person or situation, or they have rejected for whatever reasons, and the one rejected turns away to avoid more pain of rejection, thus in turn, essentially rejecting those who reject.  It becomes on-going, or can.

I suppose the cessation of a rejection can be secured in turning all the more to God.  There is security in God, for others who turn to God will also be there, and in God's love and His forgiveness, there is not rejection.  We are never a burden to God; we never "trigger" in God some rejective reaction or response.  When we speak to or call upon God, we are always answered in one way or another.  Never spurned, are we, by God.

In my hermit life, I admit that it is not a vocation that I sought out.  In fact, I would have chosen for myself to be a normal parent, not with incessant back pain, married to the temporal spouse through thick or thin, sickness or health, and having a normal type Thanksgiving Day with spouse, perhaps hosting Thanksgiving Dinner or visiting one or more of the adult children and their families.  We'd likely be of one faith, perhaps all celebrating Mass this morning in our respective places or even together.  There would be the normal relationships socially, with others.  

There would not be the rejection or resentment.  I would not be remembered as a burden-bundle of pain, or for the negatives of flaws, words or things done of my imperfect self, the vices seemingly enhanced and embellished over the pain-riddled years.  I still tend to not do what I resolve:  to not reach in, to not contact unless contacted, to not expect normalcy in responses any more than I can provide normalcy in offering of self.

So the Lord provided the eremitic life in His foreknowledge, in His omniscience of all matters past, present, and future.  And I, over time, evolved as others went on to live their ordained lives; and while I never anticipated the effect my personhood and flawed self would create in results later on, I am thankful for God's calling me to eremitic life.  He provides a place for me, and I accepted His call even before I had much inkling of how best and providential as temporal time passed and continues to pass.  

I accept always His will and His call!

For me, and perhaps for other hermits, the vocation is God's will and call, not our choosing if we actually thought in terms of life as our choice, not God's will.  Hermit life, as in other vocations such as single and married life, holy orders, or even in career/job vocations--life is essentially sacrificial of our wills dying in loving humility, to do as God asks of us no matter the circumstances in which we are called by God's providence and will.  Humble acceptance and thanksgiving are our loving responses to our loving God.

I can now pray in ways not previously as effective, such as the increasing physical pain praying and the interior, soul-pain praying.  Love-praying, it all is.  God's love praying through, with, and in me, for His glory and for His loving good of others known and unknown to me.  Praise of God, is love-pain-praying.  And consideration of rejection as not that, but rather as what is positive in freeing others to be of and for God in whatever ways He wills, or if they choose not God for now, He gives them that freedom of will, as well.  

Love-pain pray for those I love and for those I hurt and for those who hurt.  We are humans who hurt and are hurting in our widowed souls, no matter if yet or ever earthly wed...or not.

Humility is necessary, always.  Humility allows us to forgive, to suffer, to love.

Blessed Thanksgiving, one and all!  Thank God for all our lives, lived, we pray, with love, in the various ways God has ordained, allowed, unfolded for us.  God bless His Real Presence in us!  He has a place for each of us in His Kingdom, on earth as it is in Heaven!

Warning and Blessing: Detraction

Detraction of others in any shape or form is a pernicious sin.  Like pine gum on the fingers, removing detraction from one's thoughts, words, and actions requires more than soap and water.

Detraction belittles, denigrates, lessens, smears, puts down, besmirches, diminishes, deprecates, depreciates, condemns, mocks, disparages, slanders, libels, and bullies others.  Most often, the poison of detraction trickles or erupts from anger, envy and malicious criticism.  Detraction serves to lower another's self-esteem and standing as a person among peers, as a child of God.

Wrongful judging occurs in detraction.  Rightful judging is that which derives from thoughtful observation, wise and holy discernment, by those whose position is to rightfully judge.  The intent of rightful judging is to discover truth and desire justice.  There are few occasions other than in the legal profession, in which we are likely to be called upon to rightfully judge.

Discernment is more a personal matter of which we are to make critical judgments regarding ourselves, our actions, our thoughts.  Discernment of self is necessary for spiritual growth; discernment of others is not so necessary.  If we honestly discern our own thoughts, words, and actions, we will have enough information to make changes in our lives. Self-discernment, thus, will replace the temptation to deceive ourselves that we are only "discerning" others, when in fact we slip into judging them.

For example, a young man came to do some plumbing when this hermit was yet ill.  He ruined some plumbing parts, made vital errors in placement of holes for pipes, and misspoke about code.  The hermit detracted the young man by discussing his wrong-doings with others, as well as slipped into anger over the wages paid and costs to replace parts and redo the project.

Holy discernment would have provided the hermit with all the truth it needed--without detraction of the plumber.  Had this hermit privately recognized the young man's errors, that would have been enough to know what actions to take in remedying the plumbing.  If the errors had amounted to great sums, there is legal recourse via the law of the land.  In this situation, prayer for the young man, privately letting him know he had erred, and giving him opportunity to make right his wrongs, is the correct course of action--not detraction.

A key element in rightful judging and wise discernment is factual truths and what we do with factual truths.  If the facts upon which we base our judging and discerning are not true but more our opinions, then we slip into wrongful judging and wrong discernment.  We next can slide on and into detraction if we think, write, or speak based upon our inaccurate facts or upon our opinions.

Jesus is clear on how to avoid the sin of detraction (which does include wrongful judging--and best to avoid judging unless by profession a judge in the land's justice system!).

"Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
Stop judging and you will not be judged.
Stop condemning and you will not be condemned.
Forgive and you will be forgiven.
Give and gifts will be given to you;
       a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and                overflowing, will be poured into your lap.
For the measure with which you measure will in return be measured out to you"  (Luke 6:36-38).

[Yesterday while consolidating grains of rice from one container into another, the marvelous image of a good measure came clear.  While pouring the rice it seemed the canister could not possibly hold all the grains.  The nothing Catholic hermit tamped the rice, shook it down, and what seemed impossible for the canister to hold, poured in with space remaining!  How pictorially metaphoric, Jesus' words!]

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another!  Refrain from any temptation to detract others. Let our judging and discerning be of ourselves, for therein is the greatest opportunity for growth--and blessed gifts--of remaining in His Love!

If the World (or Person) Hates You

From 1 John 3 we have today in Mass Scripture readings:  Do not be surprised, brothers and sisters, if the world hates you.

And later in this sequence we read that those who do not love from their hearts, who do not have love in their hearts, are murderers.  

This is the truth.

Lately, have pondered a relative whose relationship with a family member has ruled her for the bulk of her life, and it has been based upon resentment and personality clash that has grown into hatred for even the slightest nuances of speech or viewpoint that the family member makes.  The hater is 66 years old, and the hated is 91 years old.

The elder has reasons for her personality and outlook, for what she likes to do and discuss.  She, like the rest of us, is not perfect and knows it.  But she enjoys perfection or striving for it, and is an artist by profession, was an art teacher.  She grew up in a deprived household, her father passing when she was four, on the eve of the Great Depression.  With eight children in the family, the mother had quite a difficult life.  All the children grew to be successful, hard-working, and yes, with various but all strong and distinct personalities.  

The youngest, this woman now 91, has always desired to be socially acceptable, gracious, and tending to outer appearances in some aspects.  There are reasons for this.  A struggling childhood, for one, and recalling and so appreciating her mother's Saturday evening meal, using the good china, a lovely table cloth, and making what otherwise would have been a rather dark time of their lives, at least uplifted in those simple aspects.

Yes, perhaps there has been a bit much attention to personal appearance and desiring nice things.  But one can certainly understand why, in addition to the artistic proclivity and gifts.  Artists observe the outer appearances and appreciate color, style, design, and beautiful things.  There is nothing wrong with that.  But it is this aspect among many other small aspects, that have annoyed and grown into hatred in the reaction of the now 66-year-old.

Personality clash, yes, but the poison is seemingly beyond antidote in other than to pray for the person.  Talk and explanation, counsel and even being supportive in hopes of trying to get the poisoned one to then move into better mode, has not been effective.  The person poisoned has done self-harm, stuffing in feelings of anger toward other aspects of life and now lives with limitations of a physical sense in addition to the damaged emotions, the poison.

The 91-year-old has increasingly turned to God and prayer, yet still loves to enjoy what people wear, or their conversations, or lovely tables and details of delicious food and presentation, or gatherings of people for music or social time together.  And she loves the one who despises her, without realizing the depth of the anger the other has toward the elder, or else not allowing herself to realize it.  What difference would it make to know the extent of dislike, of hate?  The elder is now well-off, independent and has learned to hire others to assist her when her family cannot or does not.  But she appreciates when they can and do, and she chooses to love.

When the elder passes, which may be before the younger, although in this life we never know, she will leave the amass of money to the younger and to the younger's adult children.  She has already gifted the younger with a comfortable and lovely car, not causing a fuss in giving up that freedom in being able to drive, but rather passing through that phase with grace as opposed to many who instead need to be confronted and have the keys taken by strained family members.  She likewise, on her own, decided when to sell her home, then when to leave an apartment and enter an elder care facility.

Will the younger, the 66-year-old, even then, when the elder passes, be rid of the poison?  Is hate toward a living person alleviated when the person dies to this life, or is hate in the mind and emotions only quelled in and by forgiveness and grace of God, and in being able to then love the one who has been hated for nearly all of the person's life?  What difference does it make to change the word hate to resentment, personality clash, or trigger points?  It is none other than hate.

Yes, over the years the elder has said things of which the younger resented and felt hurt.  There were expectations of the younger as to how she wanted the elder to be.  (And there was rudeness from the younger to the elder, for sure.)  And true, others had difficulty sometimes relaxing in the presence of the perfections and plans of the elder, but they could understand and take it in stride.  

Having understanding of others and finding the good in them, and seeing the progress in their souls over the years, and realizing the love the person has for others--that washes over and ameliorates the bits of human flaws and irritants.

We all have them, these flaws and irritants.  But the reality is, that when we want to be good and to love, and when we strive toward His Real Presence and want to live a good as well as possible and be in light and as light--despite our human failings--those who resent or cannot forgive have a pall of darkness that distorts all the more, and suffocates their very soul.

All this is particularly highlighted when those who share the same faith--even the same Church--dislike others, criticize, try to discredit through words spoken or written or even thought and kept silent. Those who are stuck too much in the temporal Catholic world can be prone to this, and we must not be surprised when the temporal world aspects--society or church of any group or individuals--hates us.  

It is nothing new that the poison of disliking, of hating others, can creep into the Church.  St. Paul writes and warns of it in the Church of the first century.  Those who have hated, as he did, and been converted and healed, humbled, and forgiven, can tend to be able to love and forgive others, to have mercy for they have been given mercy and love.

But what a difference for a life and the lives of all involved, and for salvation, if we learn to love, if we live to love to learn to love.  Discord, anger, resentment, envy--it all boils down to the word that is so blatantly (and embarrassingly) strong but is the correct word to describe such:  hate.  

Those who have hate in them do not have God in them. Those who have darkness in them do not have the light.  Those who hate anyone (even if they describe it in less honest terms), are murderers.

And we must be reminded that those who dislike, resent, are rankled by, and hate, are not themselves but the darkness has crept in.  Yes, they were weak and open to darkness, but who of us has not been tricked and entered into by the author of darkness and hate?  So we cannot hate those who hate us, but rather have empathy and love, for we know what it is to be a host to poison even if quickly flushed out by the grace of God-Is-Love.

Little children, let us love one another!  Surely, if we see within ourselves that we are angered by others or dislike them, or are ruled by how they irritate us, have the poison of hate in us.  It is so unnecessary to love, especially among family, and that includes the family of the Church.  Darkness does not like Light.  Do we really want to be murderers?

Who will be judged harshly?  Who will advance to heaven? Will it be the one who is imperfect and yet loves, or is it the one who has let resentment and irritations build up in years of poison and hatred?  Will the death of the one heal the anger and hate of the other?  Will money gifted to the living, heal the hate?

God bless His Real Presence in us--if we have room for Him. Darkness does not like the Light. Clouds mask the sun as does the earth when night signals the obscuring of day.  Let us love one another.  Just love!  It ought to be simple, should it not?  Understand, empathize, encourage and see the good qualities and see hope in all souls (even our own)!  Be kind and merciful.  Pray for one another, and love one another!  Just love!

He Surprises and Reveals in His Living Word

God repeatedly lifts up in unexpected ways, when I least expect and when He knows the need.  Most Psalms are not this lengthy, but it is a holy and perfect message especially after confirmation that my senses have been correct.  There are those out there who seem obsessive and intent in discrediting my soul's unfolding and spiritual essence, and in my delight in His Real Presence.

While weeding and watering yesterday, the thought came to mind to expand my sharing with those who might be put off by the descriptor,"Catholic" hermit.  It was suggested that I duplicate posts as labeled "Christian" hermit, and in that remove some words that are alien to non-Catholics.  

 

So I have cast the net, and it will at minimum be interesting to discover which, over time, is more helpful to others, if either at all.  Regardless, it is expanding my own view and is a reminder to be a follower of Christ, a Christian, first and foremost, above all other distinguishing or differentiating labels.

While mowing I thought of calling a "couple-friend" with whom I don't often speak--she edits long hours, and he suffers from illness.  But the wife of the couple-friend called me, first, before I finished the thought of calling her!  She had been thinking of me, she said.  Well, I had just then been thinking of her, too.  The Holy Spirit arranged it as He willed.  

My friend was aware of some detraction against me and discussed possibilities as to why others would discredit and try to take on discussing that which they have no personal experience or God-given authority.  Why do I continue to be such a threat this person, she wondered?  Why is the person not secure in own status?  We proposed some reasons, and we tried to give benefit of the doubt.  We are praying for those who persecute for they know not what they are doing and most likely think they are somehow justified to some good end.  

It is humorous irony when people judge others, for most often the very things they assume are exactly their own issues, such as deception.  Yes, remain lighthearted, and trust in God.  Let His Word be a lamp unto our feet.

Regardless, my friend was adamant that I keep writing, keep sharing, and if others cannot do better with their thoughts and efforts than to react and make assumptions on another person's spiritual journey, then that is their fruit to bear and to display before Jesus and less vitally, to others.  Who risks in God's judgment?  What about those who implied, inferred or outright disparaged Jesus with various, negative insinuations?  Where are their souls now?  

We don't know, but we know they were not charitable nor accurate.  At the time they thought they were correct but could not see beyond their own assessments.  And, I am reminded that Jesus told me that I would be criticized but to pay no attention.  The Lord knows with us, that it is not easy when we are made aware of detraction.  But I won't have to know further specifics, going forward, thankfully.  We can avoid such.  I must think on that which is above.  That, too, is not easy for any of us because we are so very human, but we are called to holy truth and Christ's ideal.

This morning Psalm 119 was most appropriate, and I emboldened the lines emphasized within my heart as I read them silently.  We can see that the Psalmist knew well:  persecution.  He also knew the antidote: God's rules of life for everyone--not just hermits.  

I am sure this Psalm speaks to many Christians because persecution can come from a spouse who resents the other spouse's desire and delight in Jesus, or from other family members, or from employers or employees, or governments, or systems, or anyone individual or group who may think they are saving some aspect of their ideal or status, when in reality they are overstepping charitable bounds and taking upon themselves God's mantle as Judge and Savior of souls. 

We are to keep our nose to the humus and to the narrow path as best we can try, and continue on in love, truth, and freedom to seek after and follow our Lord Jesus Christ. 

We are to remain in His Loving Real Presence:  Father, Son and Holy Spirit.  We are to fear not proclaiming His wondrous presence in our lives and the lives of others.  

God bless His Real Presence in all of us imperfect creatures who have nonetheless given our fealty to Him! 

Ps 119:2-131

Happy are those who keep his decrees,
   who seek him with their whole heart,
who also do no wrong,
   but walk in his ways.
You have commanded your precepts
   to be kept diligently.
O that my ways may be steadfast
   in keeping your statutes!
Then I shall not be put to shame,
   having my eyes fixed on all your commandments.
I will praise you with an upright heart,
   when I learn your righteous ordinances.
How can young people keep their way pure?
   By guarding it according to your word.
With my whole heart I seek you;
   do not let me stray from your commandments.
I treasure your word in my heart,
   so that I may not sin against you.
Blessed are you, O Lord;
   teach me your statutes.
With my lips I declare
   all the ordinances of your mouth.
I delight in the way of your decrees
   as much as in all riches.
I will meditate on your precepts,
   and fix my eyes on your ways.
Deal bountifully with your servant,
   so that I may live and observe your word.
Open my eyes, so that I may behold
   wondrous things out of your law.
I live as an alien in the land;
   do not hide your commandments from me.
My soul is consumed with longing
   for your ordinances at all times.
You rebuke the insolent, accursed ones,
   who wander from your commandments;
take away from me their scorn and contempt,
   for I have kept your decrees.
Even though princes sit plotting against me,
   your servant will meditate on your statutes.
My soul clings to the dust;
   revive me according to your word.
When I told of my ways, you answered me;
   teach me your statutes.
Make me understand the way of your precepts,
   and I will meditate on your wondrous works.
My soul melts away for sorrow;
   strengthen me according to your word.
Put false ways far from me;
   and graciously teach me your law.
I have chosen the way of faithfulness;
   I set your ordinances before me.
I cling to your decrees, O Lord;
   let me not be put to shame.
Teach me, O Lord, the way of your statutes,
   and I will observe it to the end.
Give me understanding, that I may keep your law
   and observe it with my whole heart.
Lead me in the path of your commandments,
   for I delight in it.
Turn my heart to your decrees,
   and not to selfish gain.
Turn my eyes from looking at vanities;
   give me life in your ways.
Confirm to your servant your promise,
   which is for those who fear you.
Turn away the disgrace that I dread,
   for your ordinances are good.
Let your steadfast love come to me, O Lord,
   your salvation according to your promise.
Then I shall have an answer for those who taunt me,
   for I trust in your word.
Do not take the word of truth utterly out of my mouth,
   for my hope is in your ordinances.
I will keep your law continually,
   for ever and ever.
I shall walk at liberty,
   for I have sought your precepts.
I will also speak of your decrees before kings,
   and shall not be put to shame;
I find my delight in your commandments,
   because I love them.
Remember your word to your servant,
   in which you have made me hope.
This is my comfort in my distress,
   that your promise gives me life.
The arrogant utterly deride me,
   but I do not turn away from your law.
When I think of your ordinances from of old,
   I take comfort, O Lord.
Hot indignation seizes me because of the wicked,
   those who forsake your law.
Your statutes have been my songs
   wherever I make my home.
I remember your name in the night, O Lord,
   and keep your law.
The Lord is my portion;
   I promise to keep your words.
I implore your favour with all my heart;
   be gracious to me according to your promise.
When I think of your ways,
   I turn my feet to your decrees;
I hurry and do not delay
   to keep your commandments.
Though the cords of the wicked ensnare me,
   I do not forget your law.
At midnight I rise to praise you,
   because of your righteous ordinances.
I am a companion of all who fear you,
   of those who keep your precepts.
You have dealt well with your servant,
   O Lord, according to your word.
Teach me good judgement and knowledge,
   for I believe in your commandments.
Before I was humbled I went astray,
   but now I keep your word.
You are good and do good;
   teach me your statutes.
The arrogant smear me with lies,
   but with my whole heart I keep your precepts.
Their hearts are fat and gross,
   but I delight in your law.
It is good for me that I was humbled,
   so that I might learn your statutes.
Your hands have made and fashioned me;
   give me understanding that I may learn your commandments.
Those who fear you shall see me and rejoice,
   because I have hoped in your word.
I know, O Lord, that your judgements are right,
   and that in faithfulness you have humbled me.
Let your steadfast love become my comfort
   according to your promise to your servant.
Let your mercy come to me, that I may live;
   for your law is my delight.
Let the arrogant be put to shame,
   because they have subverted me with guile;
   as for me, I will meditate on your precepts.
Let those who fear you turn to me,
   so that they may know your decrees.
My soul languishes for your salvation;
   I hope in your word.
My eyes fail with watching for your promise;
   I ask, ‘When will you comfort me?’
For I have become like a wineskin in the smoke,
   yet I have not forgotten your statutes.
How long must your servant endure?
   When will you judge those who persecute me?
The arrogant have dug pitfalls for me;
   they flout your law.
All your commandments are enduring;
   I am persecuted without cause; help me!
They have almost made an end of me on earth;
   but I have not forsaken your precepts.
The Lord exists for ever;
   your word is firmly fixed in heaven.
Your faithfulness endures to all generations;
   you have established the earth, and it stands fast.
By your appointment they stand today,
   for all things are your servants.
If your law had not been my delight,
   I would have perished in my misery.
I will never forget your precepts,
   for by them you have given me life.
I am yours; save me,
   for I have sought your precepts.
The wicked lie in wait to destroy me,
   but I consider your decrees.
Oh, how I love your law!
   It is my meditation all day long.
Your commandment makes me wiser than my enemies,
   for it is always with me.
I have more understanding than all my teachers,
   for your decrees are my meditation.
I understand more than the aged,
   for I keep your precepts.
I hold back my feet from every evil way,
   in order to keep your word.
I do not turn away from your ordinances,
   for you have taught me.
How sweet are your words to my taste,
   sweeter than honey to my mouth!
Your word is a lamp to my feet
   and a light to my path.
I have sworn an oath and confirmed it,
   to observe your righteous ordinances.
I am severely afflicted;
   give me life, O Lord, according to your word.
Accept my offerings of praise, O Lord,
   and teach me your ordinances.
I hold my life in my hand continually,
   but I do not forget your law.
The wicked have laid a snare for me,
   but I do not stray from your precepts.
Your decrees are my heritage for ever;
   they are the joy of my heart.
I hate the double-minded,
   but I love your law.
You are my hiding-place and my shield;
   I hope in your word.
Go away from me, you evildoers,
   that I may keep the commandments of my God.
Uphold me according to your promise, that I may live,
   and let me not be put to shame in my hope.
Hold me up, that I may be safe
   and have regard for your statutes continually.
You spurn all who go astray from your statutes;
   for their cunning is in vain.
All the wicked of the earth you count as dross;
   therefore I love your decrees.
I have done what is just and right;
   do not leave me to my oppressors.
Guarantee your servant’s well-being;
   do not let the godless oppress me.
My eyes fail from watching for your salvation,
   and for the fulfillment of your righteous promise.
Deal with your servant according to your steadfast love,
   and teach me your statutes.
I am your servant; give me understanding,
   so that I may know your decrees.
It is time for the Lord to act,
   for your law has been broken.
Truly I love your commandments
   more than gold, more than fine gold.
Your decrees are wonderful;
   therefore my soul keeps them.
The unfolding of your words gives light;
   it imparts understanding to the simple.
With open mouth I pant,
   because I long for your commandments.