One such uncanny date in my life continues to be The Queenship of Mary. August 22 continues to be one of immense import to me, personally and spiritually. This past Queenship of Mary marked 23 years since I was received into the Catholic Church after my years from birth to then as a practicing Protestant. So it is, that August 22 is a powerful, spiritual date in my life.
Faith has always been deeply important to my soul, mind, heart, and temporal function. I am ever grateful to my parents for instilling Christianity in me from my earliest moments and memories.
Even as a Protestant, August 22 has been pivotal in my life as a transitional day. The life-altering car accident occurred at 11:22 p.m. on August 22, some 34 years ago. That began my life of constant, physical suffering and heralded the decision of my earthly spouse to leave the marriage and our then three quite-young children. The ripple effect occurred--loss of career due to disability after two major back surgeries with a death in recovery room and being sent back to rear my children and fulfill my mission.
But it also heralded a vast opening of my spirit to the Holy Spirit, more so than had been--and I was already rather in-tune with the numinous. My Maker is my Spouse, and the espousal of my soul occurred along with various, numinous and temporal experiences of which I've mentioned some, but not to the depth or breadth of their occurrences and impact. Too much to share, and intimate, at least for now. And that has been the case for years.
My call to the Catholic Church was unmistakable and relentless until I acquiesced to the Lord's will. That evening, the priest who gave me private instruction, chose. He had no idea the import of the Queenship of Mary--or rather previously to me only known by being a date on a calendar: August 22. A miracle occurred during the private ceremony. It was powerful and has served me well as the means to keep me steadfast in my Catholic faith despite more than plenty of persecutions and hardships along the way.
The Queenship of Mary happened to be the date that my youngest child went off to college. That time period was a transition phase, as well, and my hermit life intensified following although I had been privately professed and vows received nearly two years prior to the "empty nest."
But most years, the Queenship of Mary is marked by a pain siege. This year was no different. However, this time period is very much one of being on the cusp of transition in my hermit life as other than a few tiny tasks and the delight in tending the gardens, the hermitage is complete--and lovelier than anyone, especially me, could have imagined.
My spiritual father three or four years ago said it was unnatural and abnormal, what I was able to accomplish and that angels were helping me, certainly. I agreed and still agree! My angel, Beth ("house" or "place of God" or "God is in this place", masculine Hebrew noun) has been astounding. It was Beth who surely got me out to and up the road recently, not conscious, so that neighbors who happened to be outside (and they remarked it was amazing they happened to be outside that afternoon) found me and called the fire and rescue to get me to a trauma center for the head injury and brain bleeds.
I am blessed with having so much supernal assistance in what has been quite the "death therapy" in these past few years. And death therapy is just what the Lord prescribed for me, as it has been the best phase to hunker me into my consecrated Catholic hermit life, possible--at least for me! I so needed to die to self, die to the world, die to attachments! May God be praised!
We will see what God has in Mind for the transition and next phase in my hermit life. All of a sudden, I am able to shift gears to more meditative and contemplative prayer while gently gardening or also resting. And a major aspect of my mission for the Church has occurred yet again, just a couple or so weeks ago, with yet another sex scandal being exposed, this time in the state of Pennsylvania. I place my suffering, prayers, and various, natural penances that come my way, for the purgation of the priests, bishops, and cardinals who may need whatever the Lord can cleanse for Holy Mother Church.
On this Queenship of Mary, on my sleeping bag of suffering, I sensed Our Mother--weeping.
I am sure she is weeping for me, also--for my faults, my sins, my weaknesses, my human ills.
This morning when the parish couple brought His Real Presence, I was overjoyed despite the problems facing us as Catholics. While some will need to run from the burning house--and we are not to judge others who need to do so--there are those of us who are called to run back in and help put out the fire.
May the Lord use me as He wills. I lived through the recent head injury--against the odds of no broken bones, no internal injuries, and even the shoulder is improving after horrific suffering with it. May the Lord use me, yes, as He wills for whatever time and breath left, in whatever phase next, if any. I pray to fulfill my vows--not only as a consecrated Catholic hermit but also as a victim soul of and for the Church.
God bless His Real Presence in us!
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