Catholic Hermit: Focus on Jesus and His Dad

Am doing all I can to out-psyche my nothingness who prefers bed to anywhere else in the world.  It is the most comfortable spot for this pained body, especially the spine.  I set the pain doctor appointment intentionally in the morning to force myself up and out.  Was couple days ago and had to be in bed rest of day due to to having to drive to orthopedic specialist the day before.  These were the first times I've been out from hermitage in I think three weeks--since the intrathecal pump trial external injection.  Not even sure of dates and days and weeks, which is as well.

This morning I forced up to drive to Lowe's because they've been wanting me to pick up the bathroom cabinets and some additional pieces special ordered for the upstairs' bathroom renovation.  Hard to believe--ordered them back in February before COVID-19 became our existences.  When at Lowe's, had to wait two hours while they looked for four cabinet boxes and one end piece--and could not find the other two packaged items:  toe kick plate and scribe molding.  

I wanted to remain outside due to the place being jam-packed with customers, and most did not wear masks, but there were far more than when I did a curbside pick-up at Home Depot--was that three weeks ago, also?  However, I had to remain inside by the pro-desk for the bulk of the time waiting because I was told the employee looking for the  rest of items would be "right back," and then I'd be "checked out."   I wore a mask but wished I'd had a tighter fit one, or had brought the ventilator type mask I used for asbestos removal and insulation install.  Maybe seems like over-kill, but had phone call that the spouse of the older friend who passed from COVID three days ago, also has it.  Their adult daughters are removing her from the retirement facility that has been horrible in lack of care and their decision to not have staff wear masks until later on in the pandemic.

While waiting, I observed customers and employees.  There is much that I could describe, most distressing as to humanity's seemingly becoming increasingly "out for him- or herself"--survival of the fittest, to each his own.  It seemed as if the masks (many employees wore them, a good thing) were somehow causing an effect of employees thinking they had some invisibility.  The place was more packed than I've ever seen a store!  Finally, I said to give up on trying to find the added items ordered, and while they loaded my truck I commented on how busy!  The pro-desk man who was helping load said that today was nothing like last Monday (when we were supposedly still on lockdown), as it was their biggest sales day on record.

So much for Slowing the Spread....  I was finding it difficult to focus on Jesus.  I also considered St. Joseph, His earthly dad.  I somehow had thought that perhaps it being the first day of some major restrictions lifted, that people were shopping even more than a Black Friday sales promotion of which I've heard stores are packed--but no, not if last Monday this Lowe's store had it's highest sales ever.  I kind of figured the shoppers were not there thinking about St. Joseph the Worker--inspired to get to work on projects of their own or the contractors and carpenters there picking up supplies for their jobs.

Inner feelings can easily be riled if one does not focus on Jesus.  I recognized just how easily that can occur, especially with added thoughts and changes of ways of being that the coronavirus has brought to all peoples everywhere in the world.  We must remind ourselves that this is not forever.  At least this particular strain of COVID-19 is not forever.  There will be a vaccine; there already is a promising antidote medication that is fast-track approved by the FDA and being used as of today.

But how difficult it is, now that I am trying consciously focus on Jesus, to keep at bay the distractions that can start to roil within.  Divisiveness can take hold and even root in!  I became irked by customers who were not wearing masks and not social distancing.  For pity's sake!  When a customer without a mask rested his arm, hand, and upper body on the large cabinet box.  (Does he not know that the virus can stay on cardboard surfaces for a day or more?)   Mercy!  I was shocked with my surprise reaction, for I did not think I'd feel these frustrations and temptation to being testy, snappy.

How this pandemic has caused thoughts and concerns we'd never anticipated just two months ago!  The divisiveness comes to the fore when we realize there are those who are trying to be compliant and do all possible to do what will slow or even stop the spread of COVID-19, and those who do not take it seriously are feel in good enough health or not in older age bracket that it does not matter to them;  and there are those who don't like anyone such as government federal, state, or local to tell them what to do.

Got home with the bulk of cabinet order, and spoke with someone who had struggled with similar thoughts but has had more situations of being disappointed as is not a hermit and has many friends and acquaintances--sadly too many who outright say they don't care, or that this is just how it is and people weaker will simply die.  We spoke of learning much about others and ourselves through this pandemic situation, and perhaps life will not ever truly be back to how it was BC (before Covid) because for one thing, we will have discovered the character of other people, and they us.  Differences in character and nobility will also cause division among people; some friendships will alter or dissolve altogether.

I mentioned a major way forward is forgiveness, but the other also mentioned that there will always be a knowing of disappointment in those who choose to have been more selfish than selfless, who were out for themselves and not to uplift and support communally in cooperation for doing what protects others and self, for the greater good of all.  

I then mentioned the admonition a couple days ago:  Focus on Jesus.  This focusing on Jesus, while more of a challenge--as I'm realizing especially when there are distractions of all types--even ones that come to me in the silence of solitude and stricter separation from the world when in the hermitage.  But to FOCUS ON JESUS as Son of God and Lord and Savior, as well as Jesus as one who was born, lived among mankind, and had a mom and dad, and the dad teaching the Son the carpentry/stone mason trade--helps all the more in having all else fade in comparison to when not focusing on Jesus.

A neighbor man noticed me backing my truck into drive and the boxes on it. I finished the conversation, as the man and his son came over to unload it for me.  What an unexpected blessing from Jesus and His dad--of that I'm convinced!  I was going to use the ramp I'd made of wood and brackets to hook onto the Precious Blood pick-up truck tailgate, and slide and push the boxes into the house--other than I knew there'd be no way I could probably slide the large cabinet off the truck without a miracle assist from my guardian angel and also St. Joseph.  But God Provided yet again through the dad and his son from next door....

Was rare for me to have some cash, but I'd recently turned a year older and elderly aunt had sent $20.  Perhaps the dad can treat his wife and seven children to some milkshakes with it; it won't go far, and he did not even want to take that, but St. Joseph and Jesus would have been paid for their work and rightly so.  My back is so appreciative! In fact, in honor of St. Joseph and Jesus on this Solemnity of St. Joseph as worker, I cut out more hunks of carpet and pad and carried to trash bin, and then after resting some, started spray painting a bookcase for The Priests Room upstairs, and finally planted some geraniums and petunias in three hanging baskets left over from last summer.

So much easier focusing on Jesus in Solus Deus Hermitage--but I know not to be duped in thinking I've caught on.  The devil will not want people focusing on Jesus because there is peace and joy, there is perspective and understanding, there is forgiveness and wisdom and faith, hope, and love no matter the world's disruptions and disappointments, crises and pandemics the world over and right within dwellings and the families therein.

Today is the first day I can recall since surgery last July, that I have been out of bed for this long...or so it seems.  Thanks be to God despite how the body might feel tomorrow.  Right now is bad enough with the high pain level, and thus lengthier blog post.  Yet I want to also include this portion of what Pope St. John Paul II said in a May 1, 2003 General Audience, regarding St. Joseph (the Worker).

"Today is also a wonderful occasion to reflect on the importance of work in the life of the human person, the family and the community.  We are made in the image and likeness of God, we participate with God in the work of maintaining and sanctifying His creation.  We work with Jesus; Jesus said, 'My Father is always at His work to this very day, and I too am working' (Jn 5:17).

"Every day St. Joseph, as a carpenter, provided for the family's needs with manual work.  Thus the Church rightly points to him as the patron of workers."

"The dignity of the human person is constructed through work, and in the light of this truth, we can clearly perceive the fundamental connection between the person, work, and society.  Human activity--the Second Vatican Council recalls--proceeds from the human person and is ordered to the person.  According to God's design and will, it must serve the true good of humanity and allow 'man as an individual and as a member of society to cultivate and carry out his integral vocation' (cf Guadium et spes, n. 35).

"In order to fulfill this mission, a 'tested spirituality of human work' must e cultivated that is firmly rooted in the 'Gospel of work,' and believers are called to proclaim and to witness to the Christian meaning of work in their many activities and occupations (cf. Laborem exercnes, n. 26).  

Catholic Hermit Chugging Along

Sorry, readers, that I've not been writing much.  My shoulder (two previous surgeries), elbow, hand--upper back--overworked!  Now my left hand tends to swelling and pain, although a dose pack of Prednisone was helping within a few hours.  This morning, though, I did a small amount of weeding, and my right hand numb again.  

I went to the clinic on Monday morning to get the prescription.  I'm not to use my upper body much, which when trying to finish the renovations so I can sell and move on, is not that practical.  Two young men, college boys, have been here two days last week and will be here now two days this week, working on the exterior projects and carrying in all the hardwood flooring boxes, doing much lifting and making great progress.  I, of course, have used my arms and shoulders in doing certain tasks that to me seemed not that much!

Writing intensifies the issue, and besides having daughter and grandson here a week ago to help work, and how much I worked then on installing upper stairs, some drywall mudding and sanding, and painting with her, doing some plumbing, and our installing a front walkway--my arm, elbow, and hands really flared all the more.  Slightly better now, but thus the lack of my writing on my blog.

Spiritually, it seems as if I am distracted by the work efforts.  It takes organization and thought to instruct others once the mind figures out what needs to be accomplished by priority and then to explain and instruct, and interact.  I'm used to so much solitude that this time period is a reminder of the life of a consecrated Catholic hermit must flex and flow with God's will and providence.

How thankful am I that God has provided these wonderful young men to drive a distance to help, and how thankful I am for the family member lending me, short term, money to be able to try to finish, and that includes being able to hire the young men.  Another, a former student of my daughter, came again last week, two days.  He is Haitian and has lived through trials that most of us cannot even imagine surviving.  He is but 21 years old, and is so filled with the Holy Spirit!

We had quite the miracle last week regarding his car.  The miracle involved holy water and praying in heartfelt manner, for his car to start, as it was not operable for over three hours of trying all means of repairs and battery charging.  

Why did I not think of bringing out the holy water to begin with?  I suspect it has to do with the distractions of so much work efforts and having to hone the mind on skills, some of which I've never utilized nor tried.  We had prayed, of course, but the holy water was miraculously efficacious just at the point that the man and his wife from church were driving to bring a tow chain so I could tow the young man and his car back to civilization, late at night by then.

Slowly reading John of the Cross, now on his wise counsels.  I cannot say that I ponder them while I work, for much of the work now requires mental focus on what I'm to do and the power tools I am using.  It is a good thing to be reminded and humbled with how lay persons must live daily--focusing on their jobs, tasks, family rearing, marital relationships, and also wishing they could be closer to the Lord consciously.  Yet, for lay persons the mind must focus on the temporal tasks and responsibilities.

A consecrated Catholic hermit usually and typically has the luxury of focusing on God in a conscious manner, with few distractions otherwise.  Having gotten myself into a challenging real estate purchase, all well-intentioned and researched in advance, has brought with it, however, the most spiritually challenging and growth enhancing phase of my life thus far!  But after this, simplification with less responsibility and not such intense manual labor, will be the goal.

I've had to enter into trapping and shooting raccoons.  This has been rather a horror, considering I've never touched a gun in my life nor killed any animals prior.  I was the type who'd take a tissue to get a wasp or bee out of the house.  Then here I had to eradicate the rat situation, and now the raccoon problem.  I've had an infestation of raccoons to the point of their dangerously stalking, coming close as in within a couple or three feet.  Raccoons are major carriers of rabies, and having so many in a relatively closed in area, was becoming a danger.  

For good measure, I am naming them alphabetically, with saint names, before I dispatch them.  It is illegal to live trap and relocate raccoons.  The legal recourse is to live trap and shoot.  Such a shame they are overpopulated, and a man with the department of natural resources said people feed them and cause the animals to become aggressive and invasive.  Shame on people feeding and hoping to befriend wild animals!

So, my dear friends in Christ, I have not written much lately on my blog, and I will not for awhile yet due to the numbness and upper limb inflammation and over-use as well as those others coming to help me with the work.  Daughter is flying back in a couple weeks to help for a few days, and I'm to have some work completed, necessary for us to make further progress.  It is practical at this point to utilize the help when help can come.  The young men helping are doing so as their summer jobs have not yet commenced.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Even when distracted by earthly work and responsibilities (even if we got into them without realizing), we can in our subconscious--in our hearts and souls--love God above all things and love others as God loves! 

Hermit Spiritual Direction: Another Point

In a previous post I wrote about hermits offering spiritual counsel or direction to those who inquire and request.  Another point has come to mind.

Not all hermits do much spiritual directing, definitely not in the aspect of clients or regulars.  One reason for this is the hidden life a hermit lives of prayer and of praise of God, as well as in the silence of solitude.  It seems that there would not be any lengthy or on-going relationship of much spiritual counsel with specific outline.

However, there would more be spiritual correspondence in which questions could be addressed, or suggestions and encouragements provided.

I have found that those who contact me who do not know me personally but only in a spiritual sense or having read my blog posts, actually provide the best circumstances. I also do not know them, and the reliance upon the Holy Spirit is quite strong in these cases.  I have found the expedience and success to be far better than when people who know me correspond or desire assistance with temporal or spiritual issues.

Especially for women, I think referring them ultimately to a priest is wise if the situations are such that they might not tend to follow through on what a hermit might discern.  Just from experience, I have found that women are more inclined to take the guidance of a priest.  I'm not sure it is a gender consideration, but it seems to be in my experience, thus far.

Women may verbalize more and turn to a hermit, for example, for various needs and issues in daily life, wanting feedback, suggestions, ideas, and even understanding, solace, and encouragement.  But this can take quite a bit of time, back and forth, and often enough in the end analysis, it seems that women end up not trusting the advice and needing to go to a priest, regardless.

At times in such circumstances, I've had women correspond later that they were amazed that the priest had said the same as I had counseled, and yet they simply did not have the trust in the hermit's counsel enough to follow through.  Sometimes it is as well to simply send a person asking for counsel, to a priest to begin with.

I have not had so much this experience with men who have wanted to discuss spiritual matters or seek counsel.  They tend to accept and implement if the counsel resonates with them, and do not so much hedge their bets, so to speak.

As for the hermit, the only problem with spending a lot of time corresponding and counseling others is that one's daily life can become distracted, hours consumed, and not efficiently so if the person wanting consultation ends up either not progressing or else perhaps does not accept the counsel.

As a professed hermit in the consecrated life of the Church, there is a responsibility to pray for souls, to be hospitable to those who have needs that one can address, and to answer questions and guide from a center of prayerful reflection, spiritual base, wise discretion, and lived experience.  But if dealing with an issue that is not resolved in due course, best to send the person on to someone who might be perceived more as an authority figure such as a priest with hope that the person will heed what another might suggest or give in guidance.

If the person desiring counsel and spiritual guidance is receptive and makes progress, and the time spent for each person is efficient and effective, simple and timely, then of course, offer spiritual insights and encouragement, building one another up in Christ.

The Lord has given me this worthwhile reminder.  

In other words, always keep in mind that a hermit's vocation is not that of spiritual director.  A hermit's vocation is that of prayer, praise of God, silence, solitude, and remaining a hidden source of love and support for souls--the Body of Christ and of the temporal and mystical Church.

Hermit Use of God's Time

Too often have not been utilizing God's time to holy advantage.

The dream a few nights ago was riveting in its message.  The nothing Catholic hermit's life has been out of skew.  The intuitive soul has been vitally neglected in some very real aspects.  Change, conversion, is in order!

With this current illness (sicker than can ever recall: pneumonia), it came to mind yesterday while coughing repeatedly, then sweating profusely, that His Real Presence is demonstrating just how ill verged the soul.  Body is now being cleansed; soul is being purified, as well.  The severity of the physical ailment shocks the hermit in sensing the correlation to the disparity in the soul.

The message is strong. Perhaps the images were exaggerated, but the extreme does get one's attention and makes a potent point.

There has been much hardship in this hermitage.  Obstacle after crisis, financial disaster after being duped.  Yet there are no excuses.  As the finances have come to a point of needing to do whatever to try to get the place finished and sold, there was a sense of resistance at first.  

The hermit thought it too tired to think of trying to finish so much undone, in a few months, let alone make yet another move.  And this sense of resistance partly due to being exhausted from so much manual labor, but also due to repeatedly dealing with the world in overcoming the temporal obstacles involved in renovating that which was far worse than professionals noted in the purchase process two years ago this month.

Then the mind tried to consider where next?  That proved a foolish, frustrating, tearful thought-endeavor.  Stop thinking of the future!  Stay in the Order of the Present Moment!  Try to see if a family member on the mortgage would now assist by helping a bit monthly, allowing the hermit more time to do the tasks it can do, thus saving much in labor costs.  No, the person, is not interested.  Tried again, in case the co-signer would agree to a small equity loan so that more could be hired to be done.  No, not interested.

After the reality of negative responses settled in, it was fine with the nothing Catholic hermit. One must cast the nets, and God will either fill with fish or not.  He did not.  So, the time has come to go for broke.  Spend down the remaining tidbit and pray for mercy.  Raphael is coming next week to help finish some framing tasks and have his crew hang the heavy sheets of drywall, plus help finish the stairs and some exterior work to be done. But nothing Catholic hermit was to have done work in the interim...not be so ill!

Mark is to come next week, also, to finish what electrical can be accomplished before drywall.  He may or may not bring a man who does some plumbing.  Nothing is too ill to work on that, also.  It remains to be seen if nothing Catholic hermit is up for workers next week, regardless.  

The closest family is driving a distance from civilization to bring more medication...plus start shifting items in pole barn and carrying out "stuff" from in the hermitage, with hope of making more room in here for accomplishing work.  The hermit will be yet too ill to help with that, as well--barring a miracle.  Am always open for miraculous, immediate healing.

So we see that the soul has been terribly neglected with all the efforts of the past couple of years.  Despite praying while working and reading Scripture daily, and added spiritual reading...the hermit's intuitive soul needs far more nourishment of a deeper, purer type.  The environment of the hermitage, of the daily efforts, is too laden with the world.   At night, no energy or focus to read or even still the soul enough to pray in the heart.  Existed on junk food, essentially, filling the maw but not gleaning soul nutrition.  

Yes, a hermit can be adept at rationalizing.  This one can make nearly anything spiritual or to have some reason or excuse as to why it might benefit.  But the efforts and stress here have not been benefitting the soul--only deceiving the mind.  And even if the hermitage is completed, and somehow some added employment and more orders (had a Fortitude Fudge order prior to illness pervading), will not suffice to remain here, pay the bills, and have any cushion for the many aspects of a property that can need repair.

Yes, even if could live here (as have bonded with the place, come to love the solitude that has been greater than any in its life), the fact remains that there are too many distractions. They are good things, none of them wrong.  Mostly manual labor, but it has included all the obstacles imaginable that involve purchases, tools, appliances, learning how to do feats beyond the repertoire.  Then consider the hermit's great delight in gardening and interest in learning to photograph; thoughts of a vegetable-fruit stand by the road; notions of water coloring its visions; filling occasional orders; mowing; reading; writing; playing the harp once again....

Simplify!  Downscale!  Reduce the scope of the lovely talents and interests that His Real Presence has gifted the hermit! Praise Him for them, but the soul has been neglected.  Time to put the hermitage and interests and whatever need for income enhancement, to the gristmill.  Let the chaff go.  Keep a few choice grains to feed the soul and glorify God.

Now it is quite easy to accept selling out, unloading.  But not so fast--must get well first, and it may take quite some time with the condition of the lungs and the weakness of body. Then must do all it can to finish the place so as to be salable, use up the renovation materials already purchased and here. Whatever progress, will be holy progress.  But at a certain point--a few months is all--will have to sell no matter what. Nothing Catholic hermit is fine with that, too, if it comes down to financial poverty.  Have been there the bulk of adult life and more used to that existence than financial security.  

So today, spent time listening on laptop, some marvelous desert fathers and monks of current and recent times, teaching various aspects of the spiritual life, of angels, of His Real Presence.  One discussion, on the key virtue of humility, hit the spot!  Now to more austerity of mind, forbidding so many distractions.  This is a new beginning to better nourish the soul.  What better time than in very poor health?  The hermit knows not how long it will be in bed.  Order of the Present Moment calls for disciplining the thoughts away from thinking about tasks to be done to the hermitage or even when it will be well enough to drive into civilization to get the lumber that came in over a week ago, for the stairway.

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another.  Remain in His Love...not in that which does not nourish the soul.  Use God's time wisely.  Each moment is gift.

Fear Is the Flip-side of Faith

This wisdom was told the "nothing Catholic hermit" years ago.  Think it was John the Baptist who shared it in one of the first encounters, that Dr. H. taped at the suggestion of an angel or someone on the other side, entering this temporal realm to be of such great assistance in a time of learning and opening to the supernatural realities.  God Is Love!

Yes, fear is the flip-side of faith.

An example recently reminded this "nothing" of the great truth.  [John had also said one can learn much about faith in Luke 17.  Check it out.]

A dear one helping install cabinets has much physical strength and intellectual genius.  Working hard, there was much straining, intensity, and verbal noises and outcries associated with something very difficult to screw into place.  So "nothing Catholic hermit" assumed it had not the strength to screw in the cabinet bolts, especially after two right shoulder surgeries and given age and gender. 

Yes, by the groans and sighs and occasional shouts, and a few stripped screw heads, it seemed far beyond the capabilities of this hermit to even attempt bolting in a base cabinet.  Obviously, upper cabinets needed two people--one to hold up on the temporary horizontal support board, and another to pre-drill and then drive in the cabinet screws.

So when there still was work to be done on fine-tuning, and some could not return again for quite awhile due to work schedules, the electrician who has been helping with electrical agreed and was hired to help install the remaining cabinets and re-do a couple that had shifted.  He is a large and strong man, also.

Then when the evening arrived and there were still a couple more base cabinets to be finished, he said he was sure this old lady hermit could manage to bolt those plus build the base to which to screw into the floor and then secure the peninsula cabinets to that.  Yes, sawing and screwing to the floor was one thing, and shimming and leveling the base cabinets another--but there was much fear in attempting to bolt the cabinets to the wall and each other based upon how difficult it was assumed due to the sounds and brute force seemingly necessary.

Fearsome!  What if screw heads were stripped?  Had already had to remove a cabinet that another had bolted in, the head stripped.  Used the reciprocating metal saw blade, and the heat burned the cabinet finish. Fortunately had another cabinet that was gratis as cabinet man mistakenly ordered an extra.  God provides!

So into the mind comes the reminder from John the Baptist, the wisdom that fear is the flip side of faith, and to have faith!  To simply keep going, to simply keep going, and how simple that is, he also had said some 26 years ago.

With faith overcoming fear, the nothing Catholic hermit did the routine.  Pre-drill, then drive in the cabinet screw bolt.  First one bolt, then another, then another and another.  Went in quite easily.  Took out some screws that had been driven awhile ago by others and replaced with the proper screws.  (This was no one's fault; just had not been told what type of screws to use to bolt cabinets one to another.  Once we found out, it is a matter of removing and replacing the ones we can.)

Anyway, in a rather tedious and relatively unimportant task of the temporal realm, and one that will not matter to anyone else nor will be an issue again in this hermit's life as the kitchen cabinets are installed, the main if not only reason for this life experience is to have a reality experience in the great truth and wisdom that fear is the flip side of faith, and to overcome fear with faith.

Lots of extra tension and force and verbalizations don't necessarily assist us in tasks but rather are distractions and deplete the focus that silence and prayer can provide for a successful outcome.  Also, assuming something is too difficult based upon observations of how others may approach a project, and allowing fear to rule the mind and heart and thus the body, is giving into fear.  At least try, in faith, and pray, and then praise God regardless the temporal outcomes for all is a spiritual victory when faith overcomes fear.

Now, that is truly simple, is it not?  Yes, but learning it and practicing it takes some reminding and some practice, and how else to learn it than in the little details of daily life?

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Little children, let us love one another!