Christian Mystic, a Hermit: Pentecost Morning - Annihilation

 (I don't even remember such events any more, other than when I read what I wrote some time later and have some recall.  Life continues on, and thoughts and suffering and situations so many that unusual occurrences spiritually come and go, as well, and blend with the entirety of being brought through this endless corridor, this passageway which is life, and through the mystic portal into God Himself. But the following is something that occurred on Pentecost a year ago, and one that I'll post in a day or two is more a discussion of "mystic annihilation.")

The Holy Spirit descends upon the Virgin Mary and the Apostles on Pentecost.

 

I wrote to Dr. McGinn again.  I know temporally and out of respect I should not.  He is busy and there is nothing others can really do for mystics when they get to a point of passing through the mystic portal, out of the temporal other than bodily remain very temporal.  The pain lets one know, and the bodily effort and energy to manage pain plus also to be for others what is going to take energy to relate, mostly listen, and learn not to discuss one's own life for it is incomprehensible to others.  

All the more this is true once passed through.  One must be firm with oneself, and yet there is still need or so it seems, to try to make contact.  I suppose this is how it is with those who pass over from this temporal life in their physical deaths; they still want to try to reach out to those in the temporal, those loved ones or those whom God has them, through the Holy Spirit--the Spirit of God Himself--to reach out to those on earth. It all takes energy.

So I reached out from this perspective upon waking, of the immensity of the annihilation involved when passed through the mystic portal. I'm in a phase that must be like those who have physically died but have not quite adapted fully to having crossed the think veil between temporal life and the mystical life that stretches on in various levels and degrees.  But I have not physically crossed through the mystic portal, obviously.

I guess I figure Dr. McGinn is maybe the only one on earth who knows in broad scholarship, writing, and theology of Christian mysticism.  Perhaps he would connect with what I am trying to share or express this Pentecost morning, when I know I've passed through the mystic portal but not fully aware nor adapted, and wanting someone to know the immense annihilation!

Annihilation this is! Annihilation it takes, is required, when one passes through the mystic portal while yet temporally in body, alive on earth but dead in all other respects as far as understanding or connectedness by others--real connectedness.  It is going to be one-sided, of which I must not attempt to really answer what is going on in my life, but to be fully other-relating, which is of course loving and as God wills, for that is how God always is with us.  

We cannot fathom God nor know him, not really, and yet He still gives himself to us, listening to our lives, being in relationship with us despite our not grasping His Life other than in external ways mostly, of what we externally know of God as Jesus.  We still cannot grasp Jesus' feelings, God's feelings, His experience of annihilation and of total sacrifice for us human beings.

This is what I emailed.  I must learn to not try to reach out to him; he probably already considers me with skepticism although I know he does try to refrain from judging others' "mystical graces" as he calls them.  But I must learn to write my thoughts and experiences and feelings on this blog without emailing or trying to explain to others, no mater how much they have written and grasp of much of the lives of Christian mystics and the attributes.  Theirs is from a scholarly dissection and summation of traits, types of mystical experiences and ways of mystics' lives as they are lived and share commonalities in certain categories. All this information direly helpful, of course!  

I suppose in future I can pretend I'm writing to Dr. McGinn; but actually, who understands mystics better than God--or better, the Trinity all Three?  So I need to write to the Godhead, the Trinity and not bother Dr. McGinn although I'm sure he uses the delete button judiciously so.

It is Pentecost, and the Holy Spirit is taking me through the Mystic Portal.

It is total annihilation of self, of all personhood and purpose in the temporal Church and otherwise in the temporal existence except what energy I may have for listening and mostly not commenting of what is others temporal view of life, God, daily trials, careers, etc.

There can be much written about mystics, but there is no way to capture the immolation of which some, such as myself, are called.

There may be what others call mystical "graces" or "gifts", but these graces/gifts require a responsibility, something that God wants and needs the mystic to do or react in some way

involving the temporal and/or spiritual realms.  Even in bilocation, there are needs that God wants the mystic to react and do even if awareness of situations of strangers in other countries or even time periods, to pray if not to "do" something in mediation and intervention "actively"' yet in mystical ways.

So it is not "fun", per se.  The life is one of immense suffering at all levels, depending upon the extent of the extreme aspect to which a mystic is created, asked, called by God of which it must be in full agreement, full offering, no matter the suffering involved of which when the mystic fully gives out of immense love of God and of being able to "see" or be "shown" the great need of humanity and God's desiring of the mystic to serve, to be an immolation of His will and love--the mystic does not even realize what the suffering will entail.  That comes later and is pervasive including dying to relationships temporal, dying to utilization in the temporal church, dying to one's very self in all aspects to the point that physical death is far easier and joyfully glorious. (I know, I died and God sent me back to rear my children and fulfill my mission--His mission for me.)

For those such as Hildegarde (wonderful mentor of living as bride of Christ and the temporal aspects of her life not the dour and external austerity of other religious), she had a mission including being utilized by the temporal church, who wanted her insights and prophetic voice even in her lifetime.

I'm assuming there are others, more prevalent, whose lives included such sufferings of annihilation as to be as dead while yet alive.

This is like being buried alive, this annihilation, and there is no means in scholarship to capture the reality of the suffering involved.  The more that is given (in mystical "graces") the more that is expected of the mystic.  And God's purview is not at all as man's view.

Total annihilation comes with the passing through the mystic portal.  No one knows what to expect or how it is to exist in this manner, for not even what one writes is deemed acceptable nor utilizable in the temporal.  I suppose there are no words, and no connection can be, in any actuality, of a mystic passed through yet still bodily in the temporal for the tremendous physical and other pain lets the mystic know every moment that it is yet bodily temporal--no connection of understanding by others, and thus no real acceptability other than the energy it takes for a mystic to play the part of always being the one to relate with those temporal when and if they make contact and have needs and wants.  The more the mystic is also a victim soul, the needs and wants others might have of the person they do not perceive at all as a mystic, are few due to the mystic's sufferings being such that cannot produce, even if the mystic at times pushes the body beyond human limits--which also then stands out as odd to others.

The longing for God is all the greater, thus.  Solus Deus.

Pentecost.  The Spirit of God present in our temporal existences.  Thank God. 

But total annihilation of self and all connection of any real, substantive or essence of knowing or understanding of the mystic is not.  It is all one-way in which the mystic must

with energy needed to return to temporal relating when others want or need. 

This is how it is for souls on the other side to have to use so much energy, need so much energy, to whirr down to temporal energy much lower than on the other side, in order to manifest such as in corporeal vision and speak as in locutions to humans.  I literally could "hear" the whirring sound of a soul on the other side of whom I'd asked a question in the night, who in the morning then kindly or perhaps God asked of it to manifest to me and tell me a message I needed in response to my impudent question.  That soul was John of the Cross, and he told me "You are self-righteous."  I had been impudently asking my late spiritual da many questions, and he grew weary with me and  said why don't you ask John of the Cross yourself?  I was thrilled with what John of the Cross said.

But it is exhausting for them, so I asked them all to please no go to the trouble as I knew how much energy it physically, in physics, for these souls/beings to manifest from their high level of light and thought and beingness to whirr down to our gross level.  I said I would try to be more sensitive and aware, to pick up their messages and lessons and whatever is asked of me for God, without their needing to manifest visually and aurally or in touch or other sensory ways.  

So more annihilation.  Annihilation at all levels.  Only great love that comes from God to the soul and the soul then has that great love to desire to agree to anything at all the Beloved asks of it, to love back with God's love, to love back to His Real Presence.  But this is all in human terms:  annihilation.

[first name: nothing, henceforth]

Mystical Experiences and the Contemporary Church's Reactions

Continuation of transference of posts from my other blog site....

 [I had dared write B. as his video lectures somehow were as if I've known his voice for years and years, and that what he explains makes sense to me and is as if here is someone who understands what I contend with in life, and helps me feel all right about it all, encouraged, even.  I was surprised with a response to my lengthy email of outpouring of more the chaotic aspects of my plight for the past 25 years as a Catholic and the difficulties of mystical experiences and temporal Catholic world including clerics.  So I responded last night in some short expressions, but this morning woke up with all this aspect of which I realize the main if not only thought and point is that of seemingly no one that I know of (perhaps he has more than I am aware) has really captured the full reality of the suffering mystics undergo.  So I sent this--in so much physical pain this morning I did not notice I did not address properly with professional title--as many do not address me with mine, either, nor do I care.  However, I have the embarrassment of having written even more to a very busy person to whom I'd last night written I'd not bother again--yet here I am, for this thought of suffering of mystics seems somehow maybe after his major life work of History of Mysticism--maybe could write giving suffering the emphasis that it actually is in a mystic's actual life.  And of course am thinking per usual that I've come off as a mental case as well as a pest.  Internet can be tricky like that in someone like me writing so much and to a stranger who I have advantage of seemingly knowing the person after hours and hours of listening to his lectures and talks, but the other person does not know me, and the topic itself can be as if from a crazed hysteric.  Even so, right now I realize that I did not include the reality that the mystic wants to die, and yet on the other hand has a compulsion to fulfill the mission of which I'm not even sure exactly what it is such as if to write, if I'm writing what I'm to be writing, or if suffering, if well enough which never seems as if suffering well enough.  Part of the suffering, perhaps.  Never quite knowing--for we cannot know other than to try to keep going, not knowing if what we are doing or thinking is what God wants.  Am reminded that John the Baptist talked about this to me years ago, before I was Catholic, in early major spiritual encounters of unusual way involving God breaking through into the my temporal existence.]

Dear [Dr.] M,

Woke up with the usual horrific pain and first thought is no one seems to be capturing the intense suffering (of all types, for there are other sufferings far beyond temporal) that mystics endure, are brought through, not necessarily just Fridays through Sundays or such,

or like St. Mary Magdalen de Pazzi of bedridden last three years of life, or of Julian of Norwich with her illness at age 301/2 that had her between life and death. But of the immense and deep and far reaching suffering bodily and spiritually, but also of mental torments and emotional.  Perhaps that needs to be explored more in its reality if not too much of a "downer"!  

People can envy or think how wonderful to be a mystic, or can talk of how everyone is called to be a mystic.  Well, it is not that you can choose what degree of mystic.  No one can fathom the amount and breadth and depth of all types of sufferings that a mystic might be given in the union of fire of soul subsumed into God. That is the word I've always used:  subsumed.  I am subsumed into God in His allness or nothingness--makes no difference in a way.  

But my life is one of total suffering in the Trinity to the point that suffering has become love and love has become suffering, or as the Virgin Mary and Jesus once told me when they came each toward and hovered above in a type of ball of misty cloud, then the one of Mary was subsumed into the one of Jesus of which that ball of misty cloud had come out of the Tabernacle and each hovered above me, and Mary said as amorphous sphere was about to be subsumed and enter in Christ's sphere:  You will find him in your pain.  

Of the talks I've listened to, I've not come across one that deals with just how must raw and long-ranging suffering a mystic is called to, including that suffering of knowing one never fits in, or such as if people do not meet me, they imagine something totally other; and when I am out and about which is rare anymore, they'd have no idea of what is going on within and has for decades, not even do family or closest friends, for it is too much for them to absorb, or their then is the great suffering of rejection and of persecution of being denied acceptability or to even be allowed to be oneself--that self that is more of Christ crucified in perpetual crucifixion.  

There is that terrible suffering of knowing one is not like others--and yes, as my dad said years ago when I was having major experiences and for first time had to face not perceiving or existing like most others--he said you have two arms and two legs like everyone else.  My mother tried to say, "John, John, she is trying to tell us something more than that."  But only after their deaths were they to grasp the life that I am impelled to live because I have agreed to this life.  I agreed to it somewhere way back, perhaps before I was born.  I don't know.  

Anyway, I was not going to bother you further, but there seems no extensive writing or reality or recognition that being a mystic is not at all an easy life nor "fun" or somehow "koinky-cool."  It might not just be a year or three or five; and you don't get to pick the amount or types or degrees of sufferings.  But love of God agrees to whatever suffering, and

the human part cries out for mercy and then the body, mind, heart and soul re-commit and suffer all the more because those such as I, at least, will give all even if don't think we can manage another hour of suffering.  

The mystical marriage is so glorious and the desire to have the marriage  consummated causes the soul to endure more agony and even hell, with the remembrance of Jesus saying after the marriage that included at least in mine, a most joyous wedding feast after the marriage, and He said for me to wait, that He had to go away for awhile to other souls, and He showed me parishioners and priests in a gaggle jeering and gossiping and questioning, ridiculing, but He said, "Pay no attention to them.  You are to wait and I will come back for you."  So the mystic waits through even more suffering, particularly now great physical pain that has temporal reality so is real pain, causal, temporal pain that extends into the spiritual realm as well, and breeches into the mystical realm, even.

So maybe something once you finish your final volumes of the History, something of the immense and intensely PAINFUL reality of the suffering of mystics.  People need to know it might not be as they imagine or think; we do not have control of the conditions, the job description.  So there is that great unknowing of God--we cannot know God, but what is more, we cannot control God.  That is what gets to us humans ontologically, perhaps the most, is that we cannot control God.

I think this is the last of my thoughts and perhaps the only valid of my previous chatter, lengthy as it was, that I am to express to you, a stranger other than my one-way meeting you providentially in taped video lectures and my research, then, of your life.  And what a life lived for God--as could be said, "Well done, good and faithful servant."  

And more suffering of a mystic is the horrible suffering of always feeling and thinking that one is not fulfilling the purpose God desires, and in the suffering, even, that one is not suffering well enough.  Suffering is major, pervasive aspect of mysticism and the lives of mystics more than one can even read between the lines in a biography.  There is a subsummation of the body, mind, heart, and soul that suffering is unique but necessary element, for one must "Love to suffer, and suffer to Love!" 

[What one time St. Michael declared as he thrust a spear down through my heart after I was shown the gist of another assignment involving a sick priest, but taught me that in God's love, suffering is as if inherent in love itself, for the piercing was excruciatingly painful but also very sweet in mystifying way but in temporal way, too.  (And another time when I was being as if graduated after another terrible suffering not so much of physical pain but far worse, I awoke one morning and Jesus stood beside my bed, and He held a cross with corpus of Him on it, about 4-5 inches long, and he took it with His right hand and put it right through my flesh and sternum and down into my human, physical heart area.  That was so painful yet the burning, excruciating pain morphed into a sweetness, a sticky sweetness like blood itself.  That cross remains in my chest and "heart" both.  These experiences are the exclamation point of God's love and suffering, suffering and love.)]

God is love, love is pain; God is Suffering and Love.  They meld into one like the Trinity.  

The end--and apologies for my lengthy writing and peskiness.  I don't think there is more and will refrain.  You are so right that mystics have a compulsion to write and to try to express--I suppose in another form of desperation to be understood and 

even human acceptable, to fit in, to normalize their lives as if they think they might be able to somehow ever just be themselves and be acceptable as such in this realm.  But if they were, then they'd not be mystics--at least not evidently the more extreme of which the mystic has no control over what will be God's choosing or plan for that individual life.  It simply is as it is.

[my name]

Catholic Hermit Mystic: Lost in the Abyss

 Another post from my other blog; am consolidating them all to this one.

I have tried to listen, a couple times, to a lecture by Prof. Bernard McGinn on the abyss language in the writings of the mystics.  He cites Angela of Foligno's writings, initially.  It is true, that especially in the temporal, a mystic can especially experience the very real sensation or life reality of being "lost in the abyss" of God, of a nothingness.

This is my own situation, off and on in life, and increasingly with the amount of physical suffering I am experiencing in this phase of life, more so in the past nearly 37 years of physical and emotional-types of suffering that can be attributed to the fall-out from tremendous physical suffering.  Yet the physical suffering and the incumbent emotional effects in trying to live in the temporal schema of everyday, temporal life amidst those who do not experience the manifestations of God to the extent which a mystic lives these experiences, are similar or a temporal imitation of what one experiences in the soul being lost in the abyss of God on a spiritual level.

Last night I had another bi-location or being taken in Spirit to another place, an actual place on earth, but one in which there is interaction with others in real, temporal locations and real people.  This time it was with strangers.  Somehow I do not think it was in this country (USA), but I was sent to assist some persons with a project involving their needing a building in which to meet.  The specifics are not clear in the waking, early hours, my being back in temporal time and place.

The temporal suffering, which does indeed have spiritual implications and source, take the mind's attention from what was in the other, but recall of detail is not necessary in such experiences. The mission was completed, although the mind cannot shake off aspects of having been amidst others, intervening on their behalves.  If not in some other country, which it seems, it would have been in some rural area, sparsely populated and poorly developed--I'm thinking eastern European but also not with much landscape of woodlands.  It was more barren landscape, and the buildings simple, stark, and area more a small-sized community, in the outskirts of civilization yet in contemporary times.

This is the second such travels, two nights in a row, after a long time without such experiences.  I have recently given over myself to the Trinity, to His Real Presence, in acceptance of His will for me, to utilize me as He wills, and my relinquishing much of the temporal other than in what ways I am to subsist in basic temporal aspects, including those closest to me, or those I encounter which is not often, to which I relate in the here-and-now with what love and kindness and interest is needed.

Usually there is not bodily pain when I've been sent in the Spirit to places and persons elsewhere, on a different plane of reality.  That is not at all being "lost in the abyss"--those instances are of a soul's utilization by God in ways that on rare occasion one has the reality verified by someone in the temporal or other temporal sign that the experience was actual.  When a person experiences the emptying out and sense of the abyss, the effect is of nothingness.

That sense of nothingness can be as if breath taken away, hope removed.  If the nothingness pervades the temporal as well as the spiritual, the point of being in the temporal seems as lost and the abyss itself.  The temporal world becomes another abyss of pointless nothingness.  This is not the same ad depression, although it can seem similar or even that if whomever is trying to analyze the situation does not have spiritual acuity or awareness.  

As for the sense of temporally being lost in the abyss of a temporal world that is seen sharply, clearly, for what it is--God's creation but a passing nature, a testing ground, a stage, a theater of soul school with persons learning to varying degrees of success depending upon graces given, upon desire for and love of God and His graces.  Otherwise, the soul is actually more comfortable in the abyss of God than the abyss of recognizing the temporal in its stark nothingness, of sorts, a nothingness of actuality in spiritual meaning beyond the means of passage of learning what it is we are to be learning through our God-blessed and God-created purpose in our temporary, temporal existence.

Does this seem dark?  It is not meant to be! This is the expression of description of two forms of lostness in the abyss: the temporal reality of nothingness, and the spiritual reality of being lost in the abyss of the spiritual realm, of which that nothingness has more an eternal meaning.  Both forms of abyss, of deep calling unto deep, are the soul's longing for God.  The soul longs for meaning through being God's created purpose in the temporal realm; and the soul also very much longs for ontological meaning in the abyss of God Himself in the spiritual, the eternity and true reality of that abyss that is God's love enveloping and absorbing each soul as if a lone soul meaning all to God, and God meaning all to the soul.

The abyss is that of God's totality; I so yearn to be subsumed in God in all facets of God abyss temporal and spiritual, and more so the mystical abyss that is God forevermore.

We of the temporal who are aware of the temporal abyss as well as the spiritual abyss, must simply keep progressing in the temporal, knowing that the spiritual will be ours in God, and to pass through the temporal abyss that calls out to the spiritual abyss with patient but persevering longing and transposition, ever forthward.

Catholic Hermit: Christian Mystic/Mysticism

 Transferring some posts from my other blog. Consolidating.  Here's the first:

A working definition of Christian mysticism, proposed by leading expert Bernard McGinn:

"Mysticism is that element or part of Christian belief and practice that concerns the preparation for the consciousness of, and the effect of what the mystics themselves have described as a direct and/or immediate transformative presence of God."

I'm only just beginning to get this blog up-and-running.  It will be of my thoughts and experiences as a Christian mystic, the reality, the human elements, my imperfection yet the graces of God.  Mystics tend to have a compulsion to express what can be inexpressible of God; yet they also desire and live not only for union in God but also for others to be inspired and aware of how accessible is God in our within-and-without, truly and really present to us and wanting us to come into Him, to love Him as He so very much, perfectly and fully loves us!

I'm not particularly tech-savvy so am trying to figure out this blog thing: I'm praying to include photos once I get more into the creative effort.  But I rose with and in Christ on Ascension Thursday, two days ago, in very temporal as well as mystically spiritual aspects.  Now I am in the waiting preparation--God's waiting "room"--of which we all wait when in the various transition periods of our earthly, temporal-spiritual lives.

More later....  I must get up from bed of constant suffering, and try to build the body stamina with some much-needed manual labor around here where I live as a religious solitary with His Real Presence:  Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.  And it is here in this temporal place, a house in quiet neighborhood, from which I also live as a lover of other people near and far, here and the world over--and with a prayed-for balance that includes very much a sense of humor!

God bless His Real Presence in us!  Love God in Himself, and love others as God loves!

Catholic Hermit: More Thoughts on Mystics

 From correspondence to someone who likely is not that interested in these thoughts, but who is fascinated with saints--who mostly are not "mystics" while some are.  Many and most mystics are not canonized in the Catholic Church.  Mystics can be of other religions, also.

[Dear C,]

While doing manual work on subfloor--locating and pounding down staple tips with a small nail-set tool, I was praying and also practicing the mystical element.  I also was thinking of something Bernard said, as he thinks that anyone can become mystics.  I'm not sure. I was reminded of my paradigm of the Floaters and the Dockers. [Have written of this in other blogs titles, such as Stairway to Heaven].  

I think for most, it would take an act of God such as St. Paul had, for them to have conversions of great impact; and that one was definitely a mystical event for St. Paul!  But in some aspects he represents more the intellectual element.  While Paul had some profound mystical experiences in his own life as an intellectual, verbal, active Christian, the apostle John is the innate mystic by comparison.  So I think the institutional and intellectual elements of the church influence, and most people, tend to think of mystics as anyone who's had a mystical experience.  

No, it is deeper, and maybe like saying all people can be athletes, or all people can be actors and actresses, or all people can become musicians or artists or engineers or doctors or whatever.  But in reality there are aspects of which we are born with certain dispositions, gifts,and purposes. But I do think all people can become aware of the mystical element, and can grow close to Christ and be one with Christ, have mystical union in little bits or even once. 

Consider St. Thomas Aquinas who was not at a mystic, but he had one major mystical experience toward the end of his life that altered his way of thinking about all the writing he'd done.  But he had gift and purpose in writing and establishing theological thought that for the most part have not been replaced or still are considered prime and best written works of theological impact.  

So I was thinking and praying about these things, and figure that we all are born with tendencies and gifts and purposes and missions.  And God wants us to approach Him and love Him and pray and desire Him with all our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls.  It does not mean one is a mystic to do that, nor does one need to be a mystic to do that.

Bernard's life of study and intellectual pursuit and his brilliant mind at 83 are of innate gift and talent and purpose.  He is a scholar, intellectual, and on that topic, a world expert.  He wrote volumes that are outstanding in the area of Western Christian Mysticism--the historical periods all the way through, plus works on specific mystics such as Meister Eckhart.

But can anyone become a mystic?  I rather think David Knowles who was the leading expert on mystics in the mid-twentieth century has the correct response in that mystics are born with the qualities even if they do not come to the fore or are noticed by the person or others until later, sometimes in a pivotal circumstance in life when they realize they are on a different wave-length, so to speak.

But anyone can come to God, can love God and others, can do great things for God in life.  This does not mean they are mystics, not even if they have one or what they feel or might actually be mystical experiences.  And everyone can become aware of the mystical element of religion. That is key and foremost, to recognize and to elevate the mystical element and indeed, the Mystical Element, the Trinity, the God Is Love, and try to impart their grasp of the mystical element into the institutional and intellectual elements as much as they are able.

Anyway, I realized in my pondering and talking over with God this topic, there will likely always be a problem in society, in the temporal world, with mystics and non-mystics.  It is a topic that is uncomfortable for many, particularly if a mystic is around and about.  Mystics and mysticism is a more supernatural reality but one  that the intellectual and the institutional elements will always be wary of and/or keep at bay, because the intellectual and the institutional are temporal, and temporal is what most are comfortable with.  It is not bad, it just is as it is.  

I've lowered my idealism in and of the temporal reality; I am content being as I am but knowing it is most often a more solitary type life style, a life hidden away.  And as in the paradigm of floaters and dockers, some are floaters, but most people are dockers. We all seem to be born in these ways, and in lesser and greater proportions, depending; and I suppose due to the temporal world as being where we exist in the body.  

Also, as for surviving as a mystic, a mystic wouldn't have a career such as Bernard has had or at least not as accepted as he is.  The emphasis in intellectual was necessary, as well as the scholarship, and the teaching at university a set topic.  How do Christian mystics make a living?  In what career would they fit in?  Well, I will not answer that, but it is not one that works out best among others too much, for the mystic is rather not meant for the temporal even if in the temporal, as the mystic is more in another world, the mystical world more so.  I suppose that is why some end up in religious orders, or have done in Christian history, or they are out on their own, hidden, but doing a trade in which they do not have to interface much with people.  Mystics do not really "belong" or "fit in" to this world, and that includes the world of parishes.  Yes, just think on that.  It is truth.  And that is a good truth to grasp and then live accordingly.

Perhaps the best we can hope and pray for is for people to become increasingly aware of the mystical element, and in that, of course, the Mystical Element of the Godhead and all aspects therein.  And also, at least, to learn about mysticism and mystics so as to not be put-off or uncomfortable with the topic, and to integrate more of the mystical element in our daily lives, balancing out the institutional and intellectual elements.  Plus, simply be more accepting of and tolerant of mystics who are dotted among us.

But all people can learn and do and love Christ and so forth, and pray, and are close to Christ--not only mystics, of course!  But there is something more innate in mystics just as there is in others born with certain aspects, and that  innate aspect is the differential.  This differential in mystics (or other) cannot be faked nor acted out nor to somehow make oneself be able to  gain that differential.  But everyone has a mystical spark, and that can be inflamed and grow with awareness.  

Again, I'm not sure, but I tend to go more with what Dr. David Knowles' assessment and scholarship, the former world leading expert on mystics and mysticism back in the mid-20th c., British, Cambridge.  He concludes that mystics are born with the differential that is mystical as innate gift and purpose in life.  I think the  real challenge is that we must consider God's will and what gifts and innate differential God's given us.  

But as to striving and praying and loving and coming to Christ, and in bits of union with Christ while yet on earth, yes, that is possible for all people! Mystics simply are just yet another type of person, another category, but more of a strange one to most people due to not belonging to this world so much.  They are simply spiritually different, and that can be very off-putting in a mostly institutional and intellectual world--especially the United States and quite a bit of Europe now, it seems.  But that is another topic--of other cultures being more open to mystics as well as to the mystical element, even within the Church.  Catholic parishes in other countries and cultures maybe and seem to be more open to mysticism and mystical element as well as to mystics themselves.  I also wonder if Orthodox--Eastern, Russian, or such might be more open to the mystical element, but I have no answers other than that, too, might more have to do with culture and country.

And what I think is a good question to ask:  Why would someone "want" to be a mystic or to want it to be that anyone can become or ought to become a "mystic"?  When we realize that anyone can come to union with God and does not need to be a mystic to do so, then do they propose or say that everyone can be a mystic or ought to be a mystic (Bernard mentioned that quote of Karl Rahner to the effect that if one is not a mystic by the end of the last century, then one is nothing), then perhaps people who are not born with the mystic differential but wish they had it, often for what they think would be so marvelous to have some of the mystical experiences that they've heard or read that mystics can have--maybe we'd not have the problem of scrutinizing mystics so harshly, and there might not be the problem of false mystics, either.  They'd be content with whatever innate differential God gave them, plus all would realize the important aspect is to enhance and learn to place God into all aspects of our lives and thus balance out into healthiness, the temporal problem of the over-weighted and emphasized institutional and intellectual elements.

What will eternity be?  Mystical!  Will there be institutions there?  Will there be such reliance on intellect?  Consider this supernatural reality.  Perhaps mystics are born in part to remind people and to help balance in this world the imbalance of the institutional and intellectual elements, and remind of God and the great spiritual import of the mystical element and the reality of God as source, creator, and alive in and among us, of the supernal beings and the thin veil between worlds.

The option is and is happening increasingly, new age ideologies and spiritism takes root even within churches, for people sense and seek the spiritual, the mystical element, and when it is not balanced nor taught nor of awareness and understanding, and yes, ways taught to help all people bring the mystical element more into their everyday life through prayer and love and less institutional and intellectual--well, it just seems people are seeking that which is out of balance and not taught nor emphasized, particularly.

Perhaps the people in churches then would not be put off by those who are mystics but not called to religious orders--not that mystics fare much better in them or as priests. There is still the tremendous wariness and scrutiny, envy, and/or lack of simple acceptance.  But all that might be simply due to mystics don't really belong to that world of more predominate institutional and intellectual elements, despite the basis and foundation being the Mystical Element, God Is Love, Christ, Holy Spirit--and these elements come under different names and essences in other of the world religions.

Just my thoughts, from the inside looking out, from the perspective of one who was born with the mystical differential more so than other differentials that others are blessed to be born with.

 

Catholic Hermit Mystic Christian: More Thoughts on Mystics and the Mystical Element

 I thought to send this to Dr. McGinn, but I realized he does not need to receive the thoughts of someone such as myself.  He is a scholar, busy, in retirement yet besieged by correspondence, I'm sure.  He is the world leading expert on mysticism and mystics of the Western Christianity; I am but a pained and worn out mystic who views from this personal perspective and experience, and not really from the intellectual so much.  But I've decided to share my thoughts here, instead.  (And at some point I might switch over to my other blog site that is more particular to mystics and mysticism.  This blog for me is the more familiar, though, and it contains more of the thoughts along the spiritual progression.}

Here's what I did not send, but will keep here.  Perhaps some of the thoughts can be helpful to someone else.  I have no idea on that, of course.

___________________________

(Dear B.,)

I have so been enlightened by your recent lectures posted on YouTube.  Today I shared with a longtime friend and clinical psychologist about the three elements but mostly commented on the mystical element needing to be in balance, and that it seems everyone is born with a "spark" of mystical, and some perhaps have a more pronounced purpose, but many likely let the "institutional" and the "intellectual" keep the spark contained; it does not become inflamed nor on fire--such as Jesus said how He wished the world--and I think in some respects each of us all--were already burning.  I encouraged the psychologist to broaden the three elements or concepts to whatever breadth, and have fun playing with it.  He said he has patients who are so very out of balance; and I said see if somehow these elements, particularly the mystical (love, divinity, spiritual--in his work he has to use variety of terms that otherwise reflect or are God--and see how it goes.

I want to also say that when one of the panel members in one video asked about mystics and mental illness, I had to consider that when I read St. Teresa's writings as well as letters, that never did the thought that she could have mental or psychological issues, for as a mystic, all that is endured including strange collapses and exhaustions, and whatever else that other "normal" people might think are psychotic episodes or mental illness--are simply the path or the way of the mystic.  Often God will forewarn, even, with a clue or mystical message in a locution or dream or nudging the mystic in something he or she is reading, or through His Living Word.  

So I chuckled a little, although I think mystics themselves have a concern at least when they are at a point in which others or some incident causes them to realize they are on a bit of a little different modality.  I know the first person I turned to after a friend said something to me years ago, was to hie thee to a therapist!  But after much questioning and also having known me from around the area somewhat--he quickly said no, you are not crazy, but you do have unusual spiritual gifts.  However, I have had a handful of people contact me as I remain anonymous but write, and want advice and want to have some type of validation perhaps, and I have hurt some feelings by suggesting they get themselves checked out by a professional.  That is especially the case if they start exhibiting what are signals to me, such as not being grounded, or over-zeal for mystical phenomenon.  But I also realized that this was not my purpose, to field people wanting to know IF they are mystics in the sense of all that to me seems non-essential.  The mystical phenomenon, if we are sparks of mystical, are the nearly invisible little tidbits of burnt that flecks off a sparkler.  But it does seem even with the "mystical element"--people immediately or soon think: phenomenon.  Or so it seems.

All the mystics I've gotten to know through books of their own writings or more depth biographies by those who knew them well, have spells and illnesses and whatever all else that others who do not have pronounced mystical sparks or otherwise other aspects of their purposes or missions in life are more heavy into institutional and/or intellectual, can kind of lose some of the spark, or hinder it, or maybe, I'm not sure, but it struck me, for what others might wonder if it is mental illness or is this person really a mystic, or is this another goofball or mystic wannabe or hysteric--a mystic can tell for the mystic has had such experiences and even wondered, "Am I losing my mind?" but all the while God is assuring in other ways, no, this is part of the suffering, this is part of the journey of a such a soul.

However, I can assure you that the parish secretary surely thinks I'm a nut-case, and there were some Catholic women in my home town who played Canasta or such, and discussed that I am crazy, so one woman decided to come and see for herself and actually questioned.  I gave her much credit! She ended up saying that the others said I was crazy, but that she said, "Well, maybe she thinks WE are the crazy ones!"  I assured her that I tend not to think in those terms.  Hadn't thought of it. but she could decide, but if she decides I'm not crazy, I doubt she'd easily change others' minds.  A Protestant friend reported that she overheard some younger Catholic women at the library discussing my mental soundness, and she said she defended me and thought how horrible they are to say such things!   I found humor in it, although I was a bit concerned that the Protestant was not impressed with the Catholics prior to the incident, so not sure how she felt after.  

But this is part of the life of a mystic, and that of being shunned or whatever else.  The hard parts are the trials that the Lord allows--the sufferings, the odd illnesses, the unexpected and unfortunate events one after another, the mystic's own concerns about what is going on, what is God doing and also where is He?  The sense of yearning is so great, yearning for Christ, and the sense of abandonment can be so great, and the demonic assaults, and the experiences that are indeed odd like being taken somewhere in spirit for an assignment.  Regardless, what struck me most is that a mystic would never have it come to mind that such as Teresa or any of the mystics had issues with mental illness or psychological problems, for they are part of the mystic's existence. 

Some may call the following "depression":  mystical bereavement or mystical exhaustion or mystical yearning or the darkest of nights of the soul or the divine silence in which God does not communicate and one never knows if ever will again.  If one calls what mystics deal with in that regard, if it is called depression, it is spiritual and "situational" with a mystic.  Or so it seems from my standpoint.  I had my spiritual da to go to when I questioned if this was insanity or not--but can also call my clinical psychologist friend; and I think a mystic with any sense of decency to God, the Church, family, others and self would do likewise.  Time and again, the psychologist says there are not any clinical diagnoses that could be made.   Even wanting to DIE--is it suicidal ideologies in a mystic?  Or is it desiring so much to be out of this body and begging Jesus to come get me.  However, if you say you'd like to die to someone without grasping the mystic mindset, there is trouble to be had.

But, just my take on some of it, from this perspective.  This morning I awoke to being reminded of being told early on:  "By the power of this locution, your sufferings and the sufferings of Holy Mother Church shall be made ONE!"   And then another time about 10 years later, St. Michael in a situation pronounced strongly:  "Love to suffer, and suffer to LOVE!"  It all can sound crazy and delusional, or too much fixation on suffering.  Some must have more purpose and are to have the mystical spark inflamed and to grow, and the institutional and the intellectual sublimated, so the mystical can be set free to burn brightly.  

And this is another thought that is a reality:  not all mystics leave something visible or tangible as a result of their time on earth, nor are the bulk known.  I will pass on with my main function to the Church being suffering and persevering in the suffering, and much of the suffering in some ways is as a result of the institution and the intellectual element, as well, in thinking and perceiving not mystically.  Can anyone be a mystic?  i think it depends on God's will and purpose for each soul as to the size of the flame or fire.  I do think each soul has the Divine spark of the mystical element, if we want to term it that.  But some do much good such as a life of scholarly study of mystics and mysticism to leave volumes of invaluable thought and research.  Yet, to encourage the mystical element, the institutional and the intellectual elements must be held back some, or in another thought, to have these elements be mystically imbued, yes!  

Yet I rather think the mystical element is far broader than these persons whose mystical spark seems stronger at birth or into childhood or beyond, or gets enlivened through much of the world being restricted to them, through some awareness that occurs that shocks or shakes the persons to conversions and deeper conversions.  The flame can be enlivened by what is fed to its fire, and more institutional and more intellectual seems counterintuitive and counterproductive for building the mystical element even in the institution and in the intellect, as the mystical element is imbued by the Mystical Element, and that is God and Love, most simply put.  Love God and Love (God Is) above all else.

God bless the Mystical Element in us!

Catholic Christian Mystic Hermit: More Thoughts on Three Elements of Religion in Reality

 

The sufferings of this life become steep and stiff.

The yearning for Jesus continues, and so it goes.  Lent gets long.

I listened a bit more to Bernard in another lecture.  He has a slightly broadened view in some aspects, yet regarding the mystical element, he considers it in more a narrow view that surprised me.  I realize that to study something is to kind of be looking from the outside in rather than being what one studies.  

A simplistic metaphor I wrote to him is the institution and intellectual and mystical elements and a stove with oven, installation and instruction manuals and cookbooks, but without the source of gas or heat, there is no amazing outcome, no mysterious outcome that is helpful or nourishing.  We take the source, the mystical element for granted.  I suppose in some ways, God is the source, the Holy Spirit the fire, Jesus also the Love.

Love to suffer, and suffer to Love.  My sufferings are inextricably linked to the sufferings of Holy Mother Church.  That is my connection and I suppose place or purpose in the Church. Suffering is mystical, also.  Suffering is part of the mystical element, but the Trinity is the Source of the Mystical and is in my more broadened view is the Mystical Element.  God's Love Is.

Dr. McGinn is an amazing and profound intellect which is a major contribution and is his place, and he's done much in studying western Christian mysticism and in writing the volumes following and describing mysticism.  I think it will be very difficult for the Church as institution and intellect, those parts, to give more berth (and even birth) to more of the Mystical Element and the mystical element, both.  But God will handle it.  And in our own little ways, such as our love of Christ and the suffering that links us, we can let go more the institutional and the intellectual.  Balance the three elements of religion or also allow more of the mystical element to be given more berth in our minds, hearts, and souls.

The prayers even if lots of words put together, talk about loving God.  The hymns are similar expressions.  It's desire for God and desire for His love, and desire to try to love God with our inabilities to seem to love that much.  It is painful.

I know that when he answered someone's question regarding mental illness vs. mysticism or mystics, the answer gave away that it was someone looking from outside in, who had not the mystical element, at least not pronounced--within, but more the intellectual. However, that is that person's purpose and mission, and what a major and excellent and helpful purpose and mission!  I am enthralled by his mind and discipline both!  And, he has great compassion and understanding.

Even those with pronounced mysticism from birth onward at times wonder about their states of mind. After all, we are dealing with the numinous and as if in more touch with the other than this world.  We do not belong to this world; that is a major suffering in itself, for there is little understanding.

I was so excited about the mystical element of religion and how it seemed to be a puzzle piece for which I'd been seeking a long time--and explains to me so well why the institutional and intellectual element does not understand nor accept me.  God gave me Fr. F., my spiritual da for 24 years--our paths crossing and of all places in my hometown where I'd returned after 17 years away and he'd come there just the year after I did!  Four years later we met, and he understood and somehow never doubted me, although he said what I do not like to hear:  that I am very different, that he'd never met anyone like me.

But when Bernard mentioned in his answer segment of a lecture, that Teresa of Avila had her "problems" as the question was of mystics with mental illness, and that they were troubling but eventually they got worked out--well, I was upset by that.  I suppose I was upset because I realized then that he was not one of us on the interior, that is, despite great knowledge and a life of studying mystics and mysticism.

For a mystic who gets to know Teresa of Avila through her letters and writings and autobiography and those who knew her personally and left information--we mystics would not think at all that she was troubled with mental problems even for awhile, other than the sufferings that mark mystics and are our lot in life--sufferings of which the worst are the yearning for the Lord and also of not being accepted and understood, of recognizing that there are not many of us around, and it is going to be a lonely and misunderstood journey.

Bernard suggested in effect that the actual ones always leave something for the Church. So we are back to the intellectual and the institutional aspect, and that meant left writings or active works that benefitted, such as Teresa reformed the Carmelites plus had wondrous writings, and so on with others who stand out and are canonized or would be except for such as Meister Eckhart--was misunderstood in a way that was going to mark him as perhaps too controversial. But he left great writings and so forth and was a Dominican and indeed had a place in the institutional and the intellectual elements of the Church, plus he was known as a mystic.

But others of us--and I'm recognizing this as part of what I'm to suffer and do suffer and will--have in effect no place in the institution and thus not also in the intellectual elements for we are unknowns, and our writings such as mind are personal and am not a religious order nor clergy nor able to be active in parishes, either.  Nor am I acceptable to parishes, and I grasp why now--the predominance of my purpose and mission is the mystical element.  

And with the mystical element considering Christ as Mystical Element--is the suffering that binds us to the Church even if the institution and the intellectual elements do not want us nor understand us. And for us it is even worse, those who try to discount our existences further with judgments of being "off" or having some type of mental illness.  Well, the stresses of what a mystic bears within and the suffering some of us bear physically as well--it can seem to take us to the brink of sanity.

And how we perceive the world in which we are plopped, and especially the frustration with the Church's institutional and intellectual weightedness, and even such as the mystical ecstasies the Lord gave for any and every mass--instead of a a sign, the people could not cope nor understand, and priests could not either--and the institutional and intellectual elements took over and shoved out the mystical.  The protocol is to not talk about such things, to not give credence, to not share or educate others, to not accept.  

I myself have been harsh with a handful of people who have contacted me over the years, or gravitated to me, wanting to connect as they felt they were mystics.  And at times it seemed to me, once I got into some interchange with them or if in person observed, there are some signals that help discern if the person is grounded. But I realize it is treacherous ground, that, and I am sorry for cutting short some interchanges, but really, I needed to be more in person to ascertain, and above and beyond that, what difference what I think or thought?  But someone in each, there was not a groundedness, not the effect of a balance of intellectual and also the institutional.

I would be at that parish for mass and be a member if I could, and in a heartbeat.  But I do not belong there nor am understood nor accepted, and likely I've been deemed as Bernard mentioned of his assessments of even Teresa of Avila, to have mental difficulties that she was able to overcome!  Yes, there he lost me in that I knew it was an outside in intellectual assessment, and the situation of mystics always leaving something for the Church, for the institution and intellectual elements--well, the problem with that is that there are many mystics of which we will never know.  For as the Lord was reminding me this morning, some are building up the mystical element and the gift to the church is being one with Holy Mother Church by their suffering.  And that their work is to learn to love to suffer and to suffer to love.

And a great portion of that suffering is inflicted by the very Church and its institutional and intellectual persons and such, who even can intellectualize about mysticism and mystics, and see that they should be not mistreated, and think that somehow people can become mystics--but not if the mystical element remains as it is, squelched for most part except after the fact of some more visible mystic who does great actions that benefit the Church in visible ways.  And people must let go of so much weight of the institutional and intellectual elements and open to the mystical element which means the Mystical Element.

However, Dr. Bernard McGinn and other scholars with great hearts and souls are making headway in discussing these matters and sharing more about the mystics, mysticism, and I pray even more about the mystical element as the Mystical Element.  

Yes, it was painful last night when my exuberance was met by the elder friend with that I was wearing out my brilliant mind by thinking!  I had been emailing the wondrous insights that had broken through as this missing puzzle piece that explains why I am not likely ever to fit in, and that my purpose is more hidden in suffering, my sufferings declared by God early on to be made one with the sufferings of Holy Mother Church--and that means even more suffering of the mystical element type and within, and the suffering of much rejection and misjudgment.

And it is rather painful to know and to have been told from on high, that one does not belong to that world--that world of temporal existence with all its good along with the bad. Yet, the Lord brings people into my life who enjoy me--such as Craig who is my go-to mentor and inspiration and instructor on matters construction.  I called, and he happened to answer out of all the ones working there at the building supply company, and his voice is so upbeat and happy to hear from me, and he instructed right away on the depth of the header beam I will need to have for the 12' stretch of windows that will be in the kitchen.

I am setting forth the little remodeling here (nothing compared to before yet harder and slower due to my pain and body being worse) as doing it for the Holy Family. This place is to be done as well as humanly possible for it is being fixed up for the Holy Family (and whomever they choose to live in it after I am gone from this place).  Craig has found nothing but delight and fun in me, even when I've been down with suffering; he has a spirit within that is close with the Mystical Element.  Same with several other encounters here, such as Randy and such a fun time with Heather in doors and windows, but the physical therapist is lovely but grew very frustrated with me, and I don't blame her for I grasp from her standpoint.

But mercy, if Bernard considered that Teresa of Avila struggled with some mental illness or problems like that--he did not grasp the inner workings in actuality of the mystical element as well as how the Mystical Element operates within such persons who have more pronounced mission and purpose, who are born with that spark, if you will, in more percent than perhaps others. Or, at least the Lord allows circumstances to get souls back to the mystical element and the Godhead as Mystical Element.  I do think we all are called to be seeking and noticing and building up the mystical element of religion and detaching from so much of the institutional and intellectual elements--and the latter does not mean to go stupid and deny our minds from learning. But it is a different type of learning--that which will help us survive the temporal but yet enhances our building up of the mystical element, and of seeking and finding and reverencing the Mystical Element in all of this earthly existence.  We are to enliven the sparks that are sputtering, and to cause ours to inflame, and that by more Jesus, more Holy Spirit, more God the Father--more Mystical Element.  And not by outer efforts or seeming goofy or wanting or thinking about some little phenomenon or feeling.

The mystical element of religion is not much at all about mystical phenomenon.  Those are the quickly-gone little tidbits from when a spark sparks.

Well, I think the other person I emailed kind of gets it. I know if my spiritual da were here on earth, he'd be so excited along with me!  He always loved and welcomed when I'd rush to see him or write a long letter with some big puzzle piece found, and he'd consider it and smile and then a grin, and say, "This is so!  This is truth!"

I will say that it seems that is why I'm running into new age Catholics--those who get caught up in new age even in parishes, and even such as the late Thomas Keating and Basil Pennington and the like, who developed techniques (based on some Buddhist techniques) to try to enhance feeling and spiritual experience through repetitions meant to empty the mind.  They wanted the mystical element; it is just that they turned to more new age techniques to try to achieve feelings and phenomenon or mystical experience.  Somehow, it just does not work that way, even if that seems a door opening for it.

I'll pray on what might help more, but it seems that love is the main key. Love of the Mystical Element--or also known as His Real Presence, and that really is the Three in One, the Holy Trinity.  And to recognize that His Real Presence is in His Living Word, and He is in the consecrated Host, but also in the spiritual communions many of us receive now due to COVID restrictions for gathering.  And Covid might be God's way of trying to bring about a better balancing of the three elements of religion. Or people will continue to drop away or within the Church bring in new age techniques and ideologies, for they are seeking without realizing it--the lacking of mystical element, and the over weightedness of institution and intellect.

I do want to apologize for the couple of people who had asked to email and wanted my take on their mysticism or wanted to be mystic friends, and I was harsh, and some aspects seemed unsettling, or something. And then there was the young man who wanted to email as he was thinking of the hermit vocation. And I discovered he is quite young and fairly new to Catholicism, and I am sure I was blunt and harsh. Plus I got on a tangent about CL603 and the emphasis on that by some who are only building up more institutional element by doing so, and also intellectual tossed in.  My basic message, though, was to wait until he's 50 years old, another 25 years perhaps.

God bless the Mystical Element, His Real Presence, in us, accessible by clearing away that which hinders, but found in love and suffering.  The mystical phenomenon--that is not the Mystical Element nor the mystical element but just the quickly gone and often not seen tidbits flying off from the sparks.  That's not mysticism nor do such things mean one is a mystic.  It is the Love and the suffering, the Love....