Catholic Hermit: You Will Find Him in Your Pain

This afternoon I was reminded when the Virgin Mary told me this, years ago, when I was suffering terribly and was begging for Jesus to help me endure.  I've written about it previously, the details of the miraculous appearance and the locution, while I was praying in front of the Tabernacle at a parish where I attended.

Mary came forth from the Mary altar, and she united with Jesus who came from the Tabernacle, where they each hovered over me before melding into one fog while Mary's voice intoned:  You will find Him in your pain.

I was thinking of that this afternoon while mowing part of the yard.  This is my first day off the floor and dressed, and it has not been easy.  But it was necessary to get the body up and ambulating; the severe pain had reached a break-even point in which I know it is best to attempt a little bit of activity, some slight manual labor.  Yesterday I was finally able to walk to the mailbox at end of yard and back.  I was able to get a bit more from the refrigerator and back to my sleeping bag to eat it.

So today there has been progress with being able to mow over half the yard and also to clean up a little in the pole barn, as well as to sell a couple of cabinets not needed to a woman who is delighted with the good deal she got.  And I'm delighted with the little bit of money plus the contact with her, as she purchased a sink I did not need over a couple years ago, and at that time she was facing chemotherapy for breast cancer.  Now she is through that ordeal but is suffering some depression.  We discussed the benefits of trying to keep active as possible and to distract the mind from suffering.  Of course, I mentioned prayer, and while she is not an active Christian she is open to "positive" thoughts.

Somehow I noticed the pole barn roof when putting the mower away, and indeed, my suspicions of a few weeks ago are confirmed:  I detect increasing rust "runs" coming down by each ridge in the metal roof. 

Lord, where is Thy mercy?  I will have to prime that roof with oil-based primer and put another coat of exterior paint on it.  I spray primed all rusted spots two years ago as well as put on two heavy coats of Gaco Deck paint--of which I was told could be used on metal.  (I re-read it a bit ago by Googling, and yes, it can be used on metal; however there is also a separate Gaco Roof product).  Regardless, a rusty-looking metal roof is not going to go unnoticed by a potential buyer.  I will have to get back up there and put on the primer coat and then a top coat.  No way around it.

I did leave a message for Raphael who has not returned calls although I rarely called the past two years or more.  But it was worth a try to see if a couple of his workers might paint that roof for me, depending on his fee.  Somehow I think the Lord is going to extend my time here; I am most likely going to be back up on that treacherous roof again.   Two years ago this spring I fell on it three times and nearly slid off three times--stopping a foot from the edge.

Yes, I did know what I'd done wrong--but it was quite difficult to see if paint had dribbled on the metal roof, so if I got my foot on a drop of wet paint I'd slip and slide.  Then, being extra careful after the first slip and slide, on the second color coat of paint I could not easily see what was wet and what was the dried first coat.  Thus, a couple more mishaps, including hitting my ribs hard when I slapped down on it and slid to the edge.

Was laid up for ten days that time.  Now, my right elbow is so painful, and using a roller and brush or any type of "elbow grease" work really inflames it; and I know I've mentioned my right hand in need of surgery from a drill whip injury over two years ago.  But for painting the elbow is most overworked, and I'm blessed with a new and stronger elbow brace that arrived just yesterday.  Today I also got out the hand brace for my hand has been throbbing with pain the past several days.

Thus, while mowing and trying not to use the right arm as much as the left, nor to grip the mower handle with the right hand as much as left--I remembered Mary telling me:  "You will find Him in your pain."  So it is.  I find Him in my pain, and considering what I wrote the other day about being in Him, I all the more am assured of not only finding Him but remaining in Him when in pain.  Suffering does seem to be a tie that binds us to Jesus extra much.

Love in His Love, and God Bless His Real Presence in us and us in HIM!